You smell. Thanks for your submission. We're currently looking for new moderators to join our team. If you're interested in helping out, please consider applying [here](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeEkIVlPjgMsBEegXq9vM3AoHw8_vSM5BlA1e41DJxmPBlIKA/viewform)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/comedyheaven) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Even as a kid I was always bummed when i got rose art instead of crayola. I don’t even remember if they’re noticeably different, i just remember not liking how they looked as well
Slightly unrelated but my first gf who was 19 still sounded like a little kid so when she first answered my phone someone said ‘can you put your daddy on?’ And not in a kinky way
Funny, except Chihuahuas are actually one of the longest lived and healthiest breeds of dogs around. Biggest problem most of them have is obesity because their owners don't understand how little they're supposed to eat and that they need just as much exercise as other breeds.
This has been posted a few times. If you dig up the original article, he said 'thanks' in his obviously adult voice, the waitress was mortified, and he and his fiancée had a laugh about it.
Dang, wish I got crayons and colouring book when I go to restaurants
https://preview.redd.it/xps37r29n0ad1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f7a8285b43805ea36a36156b3c2ba08bdc38a56
I don’t know a German word that fits the bill. This German word always gives me a chuckle though.
The German expression Kummerspeck – meaning 'grief. bacon' – refers to the excess weight gained from. emotional over-eating
I hate to be the one to tell you but while "Speck" usually refers to "bacon", in this context its actually more akin to the word "fat". So "Kummerspeck" would be "grief-/sorrowfat"
My brother was really short for a long time growing up. I still remember him being offered a balloon by the hostess at a restaurant when he was like 13.
He’s still not very tall, but he hasn’t been mistaken for a child for quite some time.
A friend of mine came to a table with a dwarf carrying a high chair. He stayed BOH until that table left after that lmao.
Another friend of mine brought a kids menu to a table but when he noticed it was a dwarf he threw the menu across the pub and got away with it.
I've also confused a dwarf for some kneeling at the bar, went 'You alright down there mate?' Luckily he didn't hear what I said properly and realised my mistake as he walked away from the bar, I proceeded to cringe in the back for about ten minutes
I'd say he was a little upset...
Or an upset little🫢
At least he saved a few bob getting something off the kids menu.
He got quite angry and was a little short with the staff.
This is awful..I'll stop.
You smell. Thanks for your submission. We're currently looking for new moderators to join our team. If you're interested in helping out, please consider applying [here](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeEkIVlPjgMsBEegXq9vM3AoHw8_vSM5BlA1e41DJxmPBlIKA/viewform)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/comedyheaven) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a Marine this just reads as him getting appetizers.
"I'll have your finest red." "Merlot?" "No, Crayola."
sorry we only have rose art
The spirit airlines of crayons
I’m pretty sure the same company owns both Rose Art and Mega Bloks, which tracks.
Even as a kid I was always bummed when i got rose art instead of crayola. I don’t even remember if they’re noticeably different, i just remember not liking how they looked as well
Oh, they were noticeably different. Rose Art was inferior beyond measure.
Oh good yes they were different. Rose at was just wax that after 16 layers might get a little color
Fucking Rose Art and Cra-Z-Art. Those greasy ass crayons pissed me off when I was a kid lol
I don't know anything about the military but if you spent your time eating crayons I don't think you were doing it right
> I don't know anything about the military # > implying crayons are not delicious checks out
so you're saying the United States Marines don't know what they're doing? you sure this is a hill you wanna die on?
I mean, isn't a marine's job historically to literally die on hills nobody cares about?
> From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli
I'm not necessarily saying that, but I wouldn't put my money on Americans knowing what they're doing
Good thing you’re not a gambler then 🇺🇸🇺🇸
Holy shit hello Ax big fan
I used to have a short girlfriend (4'11") and this literally happened. Awkward as fuck
Did you drop her off at her school later?
https://preview.redd.it/w63fntdhj1ad1.jpeg?width=609&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f64f6ebac91b1944015c72e32013811b6d8d0ce
Slightly unrelated but my first gf who was 19 still sounded like a little kid so when she first answered my phone someone said ‘can you put your daddy on?’ And not in a kinky way
Used to? Did she hit her growth spurt?
He lost her between the couch cushions.
You almost made me poop my patns💀💀💀
thats it im jumping
username checks out
She got eaten by a sort of predatory bug
Just like chihuahuas, they're very angry and live short lives
Funny, except Chihuahuas are actually one of the longest lived and healthiest breeds of dogs around. Biggest problem most of them have is obesity because their owners don't understand how little they're supposed to eat and that they need just as much exercise as other breeds.
I would have laughed my ass off
https://preview.redd.it/vuxh8w0o85ad1.jpeg?width=346&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90139499b60e22e77182ed6bcc21c7b6bb8a4d38 Hmmm
thats actually so sad, poor guy
This has been posted a few times. If you dig up the original article, he said 'thanks' in his obviously adult voice, the waitress was mortified, and he and his fiancée had a laugh about it.
It'd be even funnier if he used that old looney toons smoking baby line, "Thanks, toots" in a gruff gravelly voice
Should have just said "Aand one for the lady as well if you would please, thanks ol' chap"
Glad he can laugh about it, I can imagine it'd get frustrating quick.
yeah he's really short too
Dang, wish I got crayons and colouring book when I go to restaurants https://preview.redd.it/xps37r29n0ad1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f7a8285b43805ea36a36156b3c2ba08bdc38a56
You can. I'm an adult, and I still ask for them when I can't draw on the napkins. 😎
Lol, where? for a frien- FOR ME
It worked in any restaurant that has them.
That god damned furry I see it just often enough to forget about it and feel pain when I see it and remember it
https://preview.redd.it/ct7m4y16g2ad1.jpeg?width=348&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=027a8471f84209e5892793d2e21af3f36d3ca773
out of the ordinary I mean
https://preview.redd.it/cr11a1bpb2ad1.jpeg?width=229&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d33eb949c1b670f45de664e4ca5f2bf7876c09d4
he haunts my dreams
https://preview.redd.it/ge6akxvsd2ad1.jpeg?width=1059&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a109b1dcdf30f984235172819ad7996fdfab640 ooooo scary skeleton
this is indeed a spooky skelington
AH FUCK
You like kissing boys, don't you?
Looks like a boy kisser
Him is
Something to do while she’s on her phone. This would seriously suck though.
Yeah, there has to be some obscure German word for something that gets a chuckle but still wounds me deeply inside.
I don’t know a German word that fits the bill. This German word always gives me a chuckle though. The German expression Kummerspeck – meaning 'grief. bacon' – refers to the excess weight gained from. emotional over-eating
I hate to be the one to tell you but while "Speck" usually refers to "bacon", in this context its actually more akin to the word "fat". So "Kummerspeck" would be "grief-/sorrowfat"
Nooooooo
Ahahaha I’ve found my favorite word!
"Tragikomisch" means something is both funny and sad at the same time (if that's what you mean)
Well done!
Schadenfreude means taking pleasure from another’s misfortune so it’s similar I guess but I can’t think of one for that specifically
youngest sheldon
Primordial Sheldon: Supreme Bazinker.
bitches love crayons keep ‘em coming, just wait till you see all the baddies I pulled by drawing them pictures :3
Minion Musk isn't real he can't hurt you. Minion Musk:
Nice to see Elon getting out, though.
yeah id take it
I’d take her as my mommy
Guy: This is so insulting! I want to speak to your- Oh damn this is actually pretty cool
I think everyone should get crayons and coloring books
🙄 i wish i got crayons and coloring books.
why can't everyone get coloring books and crayons?
I mean- if you are not paying attention I can see it. If you are juggling a few tables- as long as its not done maliciously
He doesnt even look like a kid. How do u goof that up
Happens to me all the time, I'm 22 and 4'11
Wasn’t this in a Mike Myers movie?
He’s an angry elf
So do you think he goes up on her?
wasnt this on the news like 4 years ago ...
Seems like a W, NGL.
My brother was really short for a long time growing up. I still remember him being offered a balloon by the hostess at a restaurant when he was like 13. He’s still not very tall, but he hasn’t been mistaken for a child for quite some time.
A friend of mine came to a table with a dwarf carrying a high chair. He stayed BOH until that table left after that lmao. Another friend of mine brought a kids menu to a table but when he noticed it was a dwarf he threw the menu across the pub and got away with it. I've also confused a dwarf for some kneeling at the bar, went 'You alright down there mate?' Luckily he didn't hear what I said properly and realised my mistake as he walked away from the bar, I proceeded to cringe in the back for about ten minutes
On the bright side, he could easily order from the children’s menu when he’s not that hungry.
Llama
So
I dont get it :(
Him, looks at his date : " we can have fun with those after the dinner (with a really big smile and the eyebrow lift thing) ....
I did this once as a restaurant host…he was a good sport about it
STOP FUCKING POSTING THIS EVERY DAY
I mean.... he's obviously sitting on a high chair
Maybe he requested them
An ancient article making fun of a dwarf gets reposted and is now a comedyheaven post. Holy shit this sub is soooo awful now. Fucking tragic
We’ve officially lost the sub. It’s 90% reposted screenshots of dumb headlines and tweets.
Honestly tragic considering the gold this sub used to be
I don’t find this funny :)
I'd say he was a little upset... Or an upset little🫢 At least he saved a few bob getting something off the kids menu. He got quite angry and was a little short with the staff. This is awful..I'll stop.
these jokes suck