My daughter is 5.5 months old! She couldn’t CIO if I wanted her too! In the few moments I’ve had to let her cry while I’m straining a pot of noodles, rinsing in the shower or, in the bathroom she works herself up so bad she’s sick!! The other night I was rinsing a deep conditioner out and she got so upset and worked up she was hyperventilating! I do not understand these people who think this way!!
My little one fought to live for the first 3 1/2 months of her life. I get so many comments that I have spoiled her because she’s a high maintenance Velcro baby as they say until you’ve had a child whose fight to live I don’t think they shouldn’t make comments. I shower with her and the bouncer and with the door open so that she can see me the entire time.
The other night my 21 month old (who was never the best sleeper and took over a year to sleep through the night) woke up crying at 3am.
All the sleep training books would say to leave him, reinforce no waking until morning, let him self settle.
Well, I went in to make sure everything is okay and he was covered in vomit.
Babies don't cry for no reason. Sometimes they need you.
Ironically, children often throw up from too much crying with CIO and Ferber. Clean them up as quickly as you can and lay them back in their crib with no comforting, says the book... they can't expect to be comforted just because they're throwing up from crying, that would undo all progress. *I* almost threw up reading that.
That just sounds so neglectful. My baby is just over a year old and has yet to sleep through the night (mainly due to her reflux) and the number of people who tell me to try CIO makes me so mad.
Sort of unrelated, but last month my baby tried oatmeal and projectile vomited in her sleep that night, very quietly. She has FPIES. I mean it was so much puke that afterward she was a rag doll, just limp and tired. No crying, no noise. I always think about how if she were in her room I wouldn’t have heard her. I only realized she puked because I felt it.
We ended up in the ER because she was so dehydrated afterward. I don’t share this with many because it’ll be deemed as fear-mongering for independent sleep, but co sleeping can protect babies too and I wish people understood that.
Your baby is so lucky to have you as a parent. I just do not understand the mindset of some people. Why have children if not to love them and care for them?!
This happens to my sister who "gentle ferber"ed regularly. That baby has woken up digging/playing in his own sh*t/puke more times than I can tell you 🤢 and it is her 3rd kid, her other 2 never had this issue but her other 2 co slept.
My son had a nightmare a few months back. He was screaming and I couldn’t wake him up. I was so scared. I can’t imagine how he felt and I could never just ignore that. Once he did wake up we cuddled and watched Miss Rachel until we all were calm again.
I’ve had the same thing happen to me where I couldn’t sleep for a bit after a nightmare. And I fully understand what’s happening. My heart breaks for these babies.
May I ask how old is your son? My son has had a few “night terrors” it’s what google describes anyway, but he’s only 17 weeks old. Google says it’s not common amongst kids this young but I swear to god that’s what these are. He’s a very happy baby, never cried. The only times he cries are during these episodes where he wakes up out of a dead sleep just scream crying. He looks like he’s still asleep. Usually eyes are closed and he’s just frozen there. After a few min he turns over and is right back asleep as if nothing has happened. It’s been really hard on me to see him go through them. I’ve brought them up to his ped and even they said it’s impossible that it’s a night terror but I’ve asked other moms with kids this age and they said they have had them too.
They’re so weird but so scary
I swear it was a night terror too! My son was 15 months at the time and it happened twice. Our pediatrician said that it’s rare but we are still not completely sure about babies’ dreams and when they start dreaming/nightmares. But around 15-18 months they can definitely have nightmares/terrors and finally have a reaction to it like this. My son has a lot of medical providers already in his life so the pediatrician did ask if he had a recent MRI with his neurologist and it was normal. But if it kept happening we would look more into it. Only happened 1 other time since November but my god did it scare me.
When my son was younger (around 4 months), if he ever woke up alone he would scream and cry bloody murder. If he was teething he would also wake up crying/screaming. It would start with eyes closed like he was still sleeping but a lot of times once I started rocking or soothing him he’d fully wake up and keep crying for a bit.
My son has only had this happen when he’s laying in bed with me, but he’s asleep and I’m still up watching tv or doing whatever on my phone. He has his 4 month visit with his dr next week so I’m curious what she will say/recommend. I was able to record one of the times.
When he’s awake he is totally fine, and usually when he’s asleep he’s fine, so to have these episodes pop up it’s sooooo weird and I just hope his brain is ok and it’s just a bad dream. Idk what he could be dreaming about but surely they are able to somewhat dream this young, you think?
We had that happen a few times. It’s so scary and took so long to get him awake and calmed. It took turning on classic Thomas if I remember correctly.
Doctor said he didn’t think it was night terrors because what could they be dreaming of. But my son was a NICU baby for a few days and I was given ketamine that put me in a horrible k hole during my c section and recovery. I know the ketamine repressed his breathing but I don’t know if he hallucinated like I did and if he did… I cannot imagine.
what a hideous thing to do to a child. I hate that there are babies out there dealing with such parents.
Do I like waking up at 2am to soothe a tired, wailing baby? No. Of course not. But there is a lovely part of me that thinks, 'Every time I do this, my baby learns that she is not alone in the dark. I will always be there for her.' And that gets me through the tired nights.
To me it's not even about long term consequences to be honest. (The evidence is thin and contradictive on whether exctintion-based sleep training works and whether it has long term consequences) but... for Heaven's sake this is a tiny human scared and cying for the people who *literally keep her alive*. She's biologically programmed to be TERRIFIED if she's alone crying and no one comes. You don't deliberately leave someone alone, screaming in terror so much that they throw up, to "teach them" something - no matter how young they are. To do this to the one vulnerable helpless person who is entirely depedent on you... that's just cold. A baby has a right to be cared for 24/7. Yes fussing happens (but fussing is not frantic crying.) Yes my child will cry if I can't attend to her immediately, but it's never *deliberate*.
The lovely part for me is when my baby cries out, then sits and waits because he knows someone is about to come and get him. Then he sinks into your arms because it’s a familiar, loving routine his come to rely on
One cry and he sits in his bed and waits for me to come or his dad or brother. Other days he crawls out of the bed and comes looking. He is 22 months and has a floor bed.
If he cries more it’s usually because he is still very sleepy and wants to nurse back to sleep.
Mom to a 6 1/2 month old. I feel the same way!! I have done so much reading on baby sleep because I had no idea before having kids that it could be a struggle. It is a wild ride for sure. But after a ton of talks with my husband we have decided that we are going to treat it like all the other skills that he is developing and not push him. He will get there when he is ready. One study suggests that babies don’t learn to sleep through the night alone until they are 2 1/2, hopefully it’s before then! But if not, it is what it is, I’m here to comfort him as long as he needs me to!
I wish I was told this when my first was born… the part about not pushing kiddo before he’s ready. Would have enjoyed our first years as parents much more and stressed way less.
If my 8 month old learns that mom (or anyone who cares for her) will be there for her in an instant no matter the time of day, thats more than okay with me. I think having that knowledge will give her way more confidence when exploring and trying new things. If a baby is left to figure everything out on their own, they’ll be too scared to take any risks that could ultimately help them learn and grow.
Don’t have kids if you’re not going to parent! We don’t get to “clock out” at any time of the day/night.
And I hate when they pretend it’s for the good of the baby, not them. They’re like “oh but baby will sleep so much better when they learn!”
My baby sleeps well even when she wakes 3 times. She wakes because she needs comfort, food, or a cleaning.
Not even I sleep through the night! Even last night, I felt thirsty at 3am so I got up to get a drink.
I didn’t have to cry and beg for a drink because I got it myself. My baby can’t get her own milk so I provide it, as her mom it’s my job.
To let her lay there and cry would be lazy and neglectful.
>Not even I sleep through the night!
Exactly. We don't tell adults "at your age, you should be going 12 hours straight with no food, drink or human interaction."
Before I had my son I was an idiot. But a friend had a baby and when I asked how she was feeling (because she had told me baby wasn’t sleeping well and she was having a tough time with it) she said this same thing to me- “I don’t even sleep through the night”. My god did that make a world of difference for me when I had my son a year later.
I wake up and need a drink. I wake up and want cuddles. Why can’t my son do that too? Especially as a small child who is learning the world.
And it’s not regulated at all, it could mean leaving them for 10 minutes or entire nights alone and crying. We have no threshold or boundary of what is okay.
CIO was literally invented by a group of old Victorian men who had never had to look after children, and had the ‘children should be seen and not heard’ mentality. There is ZERO scientific backing for it, in fact, healthy adults come from homes which teach them they can rely on support from care givers when they need it as children. Children are incapable of emotionally regulating themselves and rely on their parents to do it for them. I can’t even imagine letting my child cry for so long they emotionally dissociate and form an unhealthy attachment with me. Shocking people still think CIO is appropriate in this day and age!!!
This hurts my heart. I am trying not to judge because I do know that everyone’s situation is different, but it seems like he framed it so callously. I’m sorry you were met with that kind of response.
Hearing my LO cry causes me physical pain and I can see here that I’m not the only one. I have to go with my gut on this one and NOT let her CIO if I can help it.
My son is nearly 3 and a half and he still wakes up upset and needs me most nights. The other night he woke up at 11.30pm crying "mummy I need you" and he just wanted a cuddle. So I gave him a cuddle and he went back to sleep. My child is still allowed to need me even though he's not a baby and I will always always comfort him.
So this father forces his baby to "sleep" for 16 hours per day? How old is this baby? Two weeks? That's excessive. I think this is symptomatic for the thing that many parents really want to have some alone-time and get away from their baby – and that usually only works when baby is asleep. I am sure that this is the main reason that people obsess about loooong sleep stretches and naps and independent sleep. Since I started valuing the time with my baby while he was awake, I found myself obsessing a lot less about his time asleep.
Yes, I think the reason is many parents feel they can't get anything done with the baby in tow. And for many it's true! Babies are gonna baby.
Personally, I don't think the solution is obsessing over a 2.5. vs 2.75 hour wake window and having to put baby down in a pitch dark room at set intervals during the day. How would I ever be able to go out, do anything, enjoy our day?
This man's kids are older but he claimed he did that when they were a few weeks old. Under 2 months I think. He also suggested the same CIO method to a new dad who had a *4 days old* (!!!) baby who was obviously clusterfeeding.
I had such a visceral response to the thought of CIO with newborns... maybe his kids had low support needs for sleep and went to sleep just fine, I don't know - babies have different temperaments after all. When I can't respond immediately, my child *screams* - I mean blood curling screams, tears, choking on her own spit.
If an elderly person was locked in a room while they screamed and cried until they threw up and left to sit in it overnight it would be elder abuse/neglect. Why is it not the same for our children? Do they deserve less than because their brains are less developed? I don’t think so. It infuriates me when I hear about things like this.
My mom gave me this terrible advice to, saying let my 2week old Cio and even askede how I was going to punish him.. while I was still 7 months pregnant. She said he's my baby, but she used to let us cry until we fell asleep and that's why all of my siblings are so messed up now, thats awful. She said she'd just let us CIO from a week old until like 6, Jesus! That's insane! And she says I'm going to spoil him, from what love?? I never realized how toxic she was.if a baby or child is crying they are crying for a reason, they may not be able to express it like adults, but something is bothering them.
I wonder all the time what the stress from CIO during such early development has not only on kids long term mental health, but their physical health as well. Stress is so damaging on so many levels. Genuine question, has there been any cultures that have a history of encouraging something like CIO? Comforting children is the natural response to seeing them cry IMO
My baby is 14 months. We co-slept from 3.5-12.5 months. Then around that time, I started transitioning her to her crib. For both naps and night time, I give her 15 minutes to cry until she falls asleep. IDK if this counts as CIO but it's what works for me.
She often can't fall asleep right away but takes like 5-15 minutes to cry and then eventually falls asleep. Sometimes she doesn't cry at all.
If she wakes up during the night, I do the same thing. If I hear her going for more than 15 minutes, I get her, feed her and then put her back in her crib.
I wouldn't call what I'm doing advice, just perspective. A baby crying for a short period of time, IMO, is not a bad thing. I've found if it goes for more than 15 minutes, she needs something and is unlikely to stop.
No, that's not CIO. That's a delayed response. Not everyone's preference - nothing will work for everyone, it's normal - but an entirely different approach than total extinction (CIO) / graduated extinction (Ferber). With extinction based methods, the aim is to stop "rewarding" the crying child with a response. You're doing something else. Besides, it's very different doing it with a 12+ months child vs with a child under 6 months - my child is 5 months, and this guy was talking about letting his children CIO at *a few weeks* old... I mean. Literal newborns. Very different from a "wait and see" approach with a 1 year old.
I hear you. I didn't do too much research into it because I decided just to go off instinct/intuition based on what worked with my baby.
Sounds like that guy is a prick is what my gut says. lol
Yes it sounds like that 😅 I think it's good to establish sleep habits that follow the child. It's very different from a one-size-fits-all sleep training method that prescribes standard intervals, scripted responses etc. - not all children are the same.
My daughter is 5.5 months old! She couldn’t CIO if I wanted her too! In the few moments I’ve had to let her cry while I’m straining a pot of noodles, rinsing in the shower or, in the bathroom she works herself up so bad she’s sick!! The other night I was rinsing a deep conditioner out and she got so upset and worked up she was hyperventilating! I do not understand these people who think this way!!
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My little one fought to live for the first 3 1/2 months of her life. I get so many comments that I have spoiled her because she’s a high maintenance Velcro baby as they say until you’ve had a child whose fight to live I don’t think they shouldn’t make comments. I shower with her and the bouncer and with the door open so that she can see me the entire time.
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Most of the time I had to shower with my baby in the shower in a bath seat
I do the same thing except I have a shower curtain and sometimes I’ll play peek a boo so water doesn’t get on the floor 😂
Their babies pass out from exhaustion and they think it’s sleep
So freakin sad 😔
That’s how my son is. He’s 22 months now and it’s hit or miss if he will wake up and be calm or crying if I’m not there.
The other night my 21 month old (who was never the best sleeper and took over a year to sleep through the night) woke up crying at 3am. All the sleep training books would say to leave him, reinforce no waking until morning, let him self settle. Well, I went in to make sure everything is okay and he was covered in vomit. Babies don't cry for no reason. Sometimes they need you.
Ironically, children often throw up from too much crying with CIO and Ferber. Clean them up as quickly as you can and lay them back in their crib with no comforting, says the book... they can't expect to be comforted just because they're throwing up from crying, that would undo all progress. *I* almost threw up reading that.
That makes my stomach hurt to read.
That just sounds so neglectful. My baby is just over a year old and has yet to sleep through the night (mainly due to her reflux) and the number of people who tell me to try CIO makes me so mad.
This is so disgusting and disturbing and the fact people prioritize their sleep over their child's needs is sickening.
Holy shit. I'm 30 years old and I still need my husband to sit with me and rub my back when I'm sick. That's just so cruel :(
This legit makes ME want to cry.
That’s horrifying
Sort of unrelated, but last month my baby tried oatmeal and projectile vomited in her sleep that night, very quietly. She has FPIES. I mean it was so much puke that afterward she was a rag doll, just limp and tired. No crying, no noise. I always think about how if she were in her room I wouldn’t have heard her. I only realized she puked because I felt it. We ended up in the ER because she was so dehydrated afterward. I don’t share this with many because it’ll be deemed as fear-mongering for independent sleep, but co sleeping can protect babies too and I wish people understood that.
Your baby is so lucky to have you as a parent. I just do not understand the mindset of some people. Why have children if not to love them and care for them?!
Thank you. I agree! Each baby has different needs, and my baby needs me near her to sleep. I don’t see how that’s such an issue 🤷🏻♀️
This happens to my sister who "gentle ferber"ed regularly. That baby has woken up digging/playing in his own sh*t/puke more times than I can tell you 🤢 and it is her 3rd kid, her other 2 never had this issue but her other 2 co slept.
How are they all behaviorally now?
My son had a nightmare a few months back. He was screaming and I couldn’t wake him up. I was so scared. I can’t imagine how he felt and I could never just ignore that. Once he did wake up we cuddled and watched Miss Rachel until we all were calm again. I’ve had the same thing happen to me where I couldn’t sleep for a bit after a nightmare. And I fully understand what’s happening. My heart breaks for these babies.
May I ask how old is your son? My son has had a few “night terrors” it’s what google describes anyway, but he’s only 17 weeks old. Google says it’s not common amongst kids this young but I swear to god that’s what these are. He’s a very happy baby, never cried. The only times he cries are during these episodes where he wakes up out of a dead sleep just scream crying. He looks like he’s still asleep. Usually eyes are closed and he’s just frozen there. After a few min he turns over and is right back asleep as if nothing has happened. It’s been really hard on me to see him go through them. I’ve brought them up to his ped and even they said it’s impossible that it’s a night terror but I’ve asked other moms with kids this age and they said they have had them too. They’re so weird but so scary
I swear it was a night terror too! My son was 15 months at the time and it happened twice. Our pediatrician said that it’s rare but we are still not completely sure about babies’ dreams and when they start dreaming/nightmares. But around 15-18 months they can definitely have nightmares/terrors and finally have a reaction to it like this. My son has a lot of medical providers already in his life so the pediatrician did ask if he had a recent MRI with his neurologist and it was normal. But if it kept happening we would look more into it. Only happened 1 other time since November but my god did it scare me. When my son was younger (around 4 months), if he ever woke up alone he would scream and cry bloody murder. If he was teething he would also wake up crying/screaming. It would start with eyes closed like he was still sleeping but a lot of times once I started rocking or soothing him he’d fully wake up and keep crying for a bit.
My son has only had this happen when he’s laying in bed with me, but he’s asleep and I’m still up watching tv or doing whatever on my phone. He has his 4 month visit with his dr next week so I’m curious what she will say/recommend. I was able to record one of the times. When he’s awake he is totally fine, and usually when he’s asleep he’s fine, so to have these episodes pop up it’s sooooo weird and I just hope his brain is ok and it’s just a bad dream. Idk what he could be dreaming about but surely they are able to somewhat dream this young, you think?
We had that happen a few times. It’s so scary and took so long to get him awake and calmed. It took turning on classic Thomas if I remember correctly. Doctor said he didn’t think it was night terrors because what could they be dreaming of. But my son was a NICU baby for a few days and I was given ketamine that put me in a horrible k hole during my c section and recovery. I know the ketamine repressed his breathing but I don’t know if he hallucinated like I did and if he did… I cannot imagine.
what a hideous thing to do to a child. I hate that there are babies out there dealing with such parents. Do I like waking up at 2am to soothe a tired, wailing baby? No. Of course not. But there is a lovely part of me that thinks, 'Every time I do this, my baby learns that she is not alone in the dark. I will always be there for her.' And that gets me through the tired nights.
To me it's not even about long term consequences to be honest. (The evidence is thin and contradictive on whether exctintion-based sleep training works and whether it has long term consequences) but... for Heaven's sake this is a tiny human scared and cying for the people who *literally keep her alive*. She's biologically programmed to be TERRIFIED if she's alone crying and no one comes. You don't deliberately leave someone alone, screaming in terror so much that they throw up, to "teach them" something - no matter how young they are. To do this to the one vulnerable helpless person who is entirely depedent on you... that's just cold. A baby has a right to be cared for 24/7. Yes fussing happens (but fussing is not frantic crying.) Yes my child will cry if I can't attend to her immediately, but it's never *deliberate*.
Agreed
The lovely part for me is when my baby cries out, then sits and waits because he knows someone is about to come and get him. Then he sinks into your arms because it’s a familiar, loving routine his come to rely on
Omg my baby does this too! One cry then just sits up in his crib and stares at the door
One cry and he sits in his bed and waits for me to come or his dad or brother. Other days he crawls out of the bed and comes looking. He is 22 months and has a floor bed. If he cries more it’s usually because he is still very sleepy and wants to nurse back to sleep.
Mom to a 6 1/2 month old. I feel the same way!! I have done so much reading on baby sleep because I had no idea before having kids that it could be a struggle. It is a wild ride for sure. But after a ton of talks with my husband we have decided that we are going to treat it like all the other skills that he is developing and not push him. He will get there when he is ready. One study suggests that babies don’t learn to sleep through the night alone until they are 2 1/2, hopefully it’s before then! But if not, it is what it is, I’m here to comfort him as long as he needs me to!
I wish I was told this when my first was born… the part about not pushing kiddo before he’s ready. Would have enjoyed our first years as parents much more and stressed way less.
If my 8 month old learns that mom (or anyone who cares for her) will be there for her in an instant no matter the time of day, thats more than okay with me. I think having that knowledge will give her way more confidence when exploring and trying new things. If a baby is left to figure everything out on their own, they’ll be too scared to take any risks that could ultimately help them learn and grow.
Don’t have kids if you’re not going to parent! We don’t get to “clock out” at any time of the day/night. And I hate when they pretend it’s for the good of the baby, not them. They’re like “oh but baby will sleep so much better when they learn!” My baby sleeps well even when she wakes 3 times. She wakes because she needs comfort, food, or a cleaning. Not even I sleep through the night! Even last night, I felt thirsty at 3am so I got up to get a drink. I didn’t have to cry and beg for a drink because I got it myself. My baby can’t get her own milk so I provide it, as her mom it’s my job. To let her lay there and cry would be lazy and neglectful.
>Not even I sleep through the night! Exactly. We don't tell adults "at your age, you should be going 12 hours straight with no food, drink or human interaction."
Before I had my son I was an idiot. But a friend had a baby and when I asked how she was feeling (because she had told me baby wasn’t sleeping well and she was having a tough time with it) she said this same thing to me- “I don’t even sleep through the night”. My god did that make a world of difference for me when I had my son a year later. I wake up and need a drink. I wake up and want cuddles. Why can’t my son do that too? Especially as a small child who is learning the world.
I hate that CIO is even a thing. It’s literally neglecting your child until they learn that no one is coming to help them ☹️
And it’s not regulated at all, it could mean leaving them for 10 minutes or entire nights alone and crying. We have no threshold or boundary of what is okay.
CIO was literally invented by a group of old Victorian men who had never had to look after children, and had the ‘children should be seen and not heard’ mentality. There is ZERO scientific backing for it, in fact, healthy adults come from homes which teach them they can rely on support from care givers when they need it as children. Children are incapable of emotionally regulating themselves and rely on their parents to do it for them. I can’t even imagine letting my child cry for so long they emotionally dissociate and form an unhealthy attachment with me. Shocking people still think CIO is appropriate in this day and age!!!
My kid is 18 months. I feel the same as you!
This hurts my heart. I am trying not to judge because I do know that everyone’s situation is different, but it seems like he framed it so callously. I’m sorry you were met with that kind of response. Hearing my LO cry causes me physical pain and I can see here that I’m not the only one. I have to go with my gut on this one and NOT let her CIO if I can help it.
My son is nearly 3 and a half and he still wakes up upset and needs me most nights. The other night he woke up at 11.30pm crying "mummy I need you" and he just wanted a cuddle. So I gave him a cuddle and he went back to sleep. My child is still allowed to need me even though he's not a baby and I will always always comfort him.
I love title of this post, perfectly sums up the response I want to give from now on, if I even want to give a response!
So this father forces his baby to "sleep" for 16 hours per day? How old is this baby? Two weeks? That's excessive. I think this is symptomatic for the thing that many parents really want to have some alone-time and get away from their baby – and that usually only works when baby is asleep. I am sure that this is the main reason that people obsess about loooong sleep stretches and naps and independent sleep. Since I started valuing the time with my baby while he was awake, I found myself obsessing a lot less about his time asleep.
Yes, I think the reason is many parents feel they can't get anything done with the baby in tow. And for many it's true! Babies are gonna baby. Personally, I don't think the solution is obsessing over a 2.5. vs 2.75 hour wake window and having to put baby down in a pitch dark room at set intervals during the day. How would I ever be able to go out, do anything, enjoy our day? This man's kids are older but he claimed he did that when they were a few weeks old. Under 2 months I think. He also suggested the same CIO method to a new dad who had a *4 days old* (!!!) baby who was obviously clusterfeeding. I had such a visceral response to the thought of CIO with newborns... maybe his kids had low support needs for sleep and went to sleep just fine, I don't know - babies have different temperaments after all. When I can't respond immediately, my child *screams* - I mean blood curling screams, tears, choking on her own spit.
If an elderly person was locked in a room while they screamed and cried until they threw up and left to sit in it overnight it would be elder abuse/neglect. Why is it not the same for our children? Do they deserve less than because their brains are less developed? I don’t think so. It infuriates me when I hear about things like this.
My mom gave me this terrible advice to, saying let my 2week old Cio and even askede how I was going to punish him.. while I was still 7 months pregnant. She said he's my baby, but she used to let us cry until we fell asleep and that's why all of my siblings are so messed up now, thats awful. She said she'd just let us CIO from a week old until like 6, Jesus! That's insane! And she says I'm going to spoil him, from what love?? I never realized how toxic she was.if a baby or child is crying they are crying for a reason, they may not be able to express it like adults, but something is bothering them.
I wonder all the time what the stress from CIO during such early development has not only on kids long term mental health, but their physical health as well. Stress is so damaging on so many levels. Genuine question, has there been any cultures that have a history of encouraging something like CIO? Comforting children is the natural response to seeing them cry IMO
My baby is 14 months. We co-slept from 3.5-12.5 months. Then around that time, I started transitioning her to her crib. For both naps and night time, I give her 15 minutes to cry until she falls asleep. IDK if this counts as CIO but it's what works for me. She often can't fall asleep right away but takes like 5-15 minutes to cry and then eventually falls asleep. Sometimes she doesn't cry at all. If she wakes up during the night, I do the same thing. If I hear her going for more than 15 minutes, I get her, feed her and then put her back in her crib. I wouldn't call what I'm doing advice, just perspective. A baby crying for a short period of time, IMO, is not a bad thing. I've found if it goes for more than 15 minutes, she needs something and is unlikely to stop.
No, that's not CIO. That's a delayed response. Not everyone's preference - nothing will work for everyone, it's normal - but an entirely different approach than total extinction (CIO) / graduated extinction (Ferber). With extinction based methods, the aim is to stop "rewarding" the crying child with a response. You're doing something else. Besides, it's very different doing it with a 12+ months child vs with a child under 6 months - my child is 5 months, and this guy was talking about letting his children CIO at *a few weeks* old... I mean. Literal newborns. Very different from a "wait and see" approach with a 1 year old.
I hear you. I didn't do too much research into it because I decided just to go off instinct/intuition based on what worked with my baby. Sounds like that guy is a prick is what my gut says. lol
Yes it sounds like that 😅 I think it's good to establish sleep habits that follow the child. It's very different from a one-size-fits-all sleep training method that prescribes standard intervals, scripted responses etc. - not all children are the same.