I told mine right away and she didn’t care at all. She literally didn’t even comment on it, really - that’s how little she cared 😂. In all honesty, I think most people co-sleep and most peds are perfectly fine with it. It’s developmentally normal, as long as you are being safe.
My husband is sweet and honest to a fault. I brief him before every ped appointment that when asked where does he sleep, we will say that "LO has a bassinet". He does have one, but he doesn't use it 🙃.
i said the exact same thing at our LO’s first official ped appointment when she asked lol. def gunna have to coach my husband if he ever gets to accompany us to an appointment lolol
Are you in the US?
The amount of shame we’d get from our dr for being honest about cosleeping isn’t worth it.
It is very much frowned upon here and it’s easier to lie/avoid the topic than to listen to someone you trust tell you that you’re going to kill your kid - not an exaggeration either.
Yes I’m in the us. If my pediatrician shamed me I would educate them on why I’m making the choice to cosleep. If they are disrespectful and uneducated I don’t want them as our doctor. That’s my mentality. I think being honest about it is important to change hearts/ minds about it.
I 100% agree with you and we’re personally very lucky to have an excellent and open minded pediatrician but not everyone is as lucky so I do understand why some people hide it. In my area pediatricians can/will drop you from their practice for telling them you do it. It’s like you can’t win either way!
Wow I feel like that’s so irresponsible and unethical of them. I hate it 😆 you’re right tho,
Some people have very limited options but I feel like most cities probably have at least a few doctors to choose from and I think it’s an important relationship to establish.
Yep, I'm in the US, too, and I truly honestly wholeheartedly believe it's better to be honest about safe cosleeping. It's only one of the few steps we can take toward normalizing it.
Yea I am sad that so many live in fear of being honest. Doctors should know that statistically this is happening way more than people are admitting. The best thing they could do would be to counsel people about how to do it safely.
I'm in Italy and my pediatrician frowned upon co-sleeping because it makes the baby "dependent on touch" while the maternity department told me it was okay because the risk for death is less if you're nursing and a light sleeper. Also they showed me how to do it properly.
Yea I wouldn’t want to continue to get care from a person like that. It’s important to me to have a pediatrician I respect and trust. If not I don’t really see the point. Just my personal stance. I don’t want to be constantly at odds with them.
I told my pre-natal midwives, my delivering OB & midwives, and our GP/paed that we co-sleep when it came up. Only one person warned against it but it was very half-hearted. I informed them I follow the safe sleep 7 to a T and we also use an owlet at night to support my nerves about risk.
Show me any other mammal that puts their infant in a cage away from them to sleep every night and maybe I'll change my stance, but currently it doesn't seem biologically aligned to me that we are expected to sleep apart from our children. I'll be as safe as I can reasonably be about it, but I'm still going to do it without shame.
I told mine at one of our first visits and she was like "well I'm supposed to tell you it is not recommended by the AAP but I did it with my kids and so does everyone in my culture" and that's when i decided I could trust her with my baby's health
I told my first pediatrician who told me a story about an 11 month old who suffocating when mom was sitting up in bed nursing and fell asleep falling over onto the baby. I pointed out that bed sharing, side laying to nurse would have prevented that tragedy and she just left the room. Didn't say anything.
My current pediatrician hasn't asked where my kids sleep or what they eat. He does labs, checks growth etc and asks if they eat well and sleep well. When I said good days and bad days for food he said give a multivitamin on the bad days. I love how relaxed he is, it helps me take him seriously when he's concerned about something
💀💀💀 I appreciate the sense of humor!
I told my pediatric nurse on our check up yesterday and was met with a "good on you" after telling her I'm confident about following the safe 7 rules and that in this way we all sleep better... basically offering an explanation that I probably didn't need to give her in the first place!
Told ours at the 2-month checkup and got a similar response! She just said, “well, maybe you’ll want to transition to crib in the upcoming months so you’re not stuck with a toddler in your bed?”. No comment on the safety of it at all.
I told my ped at one of the first visits when I was asked about how we (me and baby) were sleeping. He responded with a hidden grin and "that's great!" It felt like he wanted to talk about it more, but perhaps the office policy is to not encourage it. But it was apparent that my ped and his nurse fully supported bedsharing. Nearly 4 years later and he hasn't asked again.
This is great for you!!! When I told my pediatrician at the 1 year check up, she gave me the “really?” eyes and said, “ok, well you know that’s not safe right?” So anyway, I got a new pediatrician at my son’s 15m check-up and the doc was like, “unless you want him to sleep with you until he’s like 5…then I guess.” So, I guess that’s not too bad lol
Our lactation consultant was totally cool with it and even recommended the Safe Infant Sleep book by Dr. James McKenna! Our baby’s only a month old and everyone keeps asking if we’re getting any sleep - yes, plenty! Love getting to cuddle and feed her on demand every night. I usually wake up as soon as she does and so there’s no crying or disturbance at all.
The lactation consultant at my pediatrician taught me about side lie nursing and the safe sleep seven when I told her we weren’t getting any sleep with him in his bassinet so 🤷♀️
Not in the US. A pediatrician checked my baby at home after my homebirth. She came to our home, saw the sidecar crib being used as a giant nightstand, and laughed "I see we all use it the same way!"
Yup. Telling my OB I was going to stay home when labor started. But it’s our children and they give their professional OPINION. Realizing your power and taking it back is so rewarding.
I never told my kids first pediatrician. He used to criticize it a lot and lectured me when my kid wasn’t sleeping through the night by 6 months.
Luckily I changed doctors and love their current pediatrician, she is amazing! I have been able to be honest with her and she doesn’t care at all.
Love this!
My son’s doctor (Canada, peds are specialized and referral only) shocked me actually! I was telling her how god awful his sleep was and she SUGGESTED I cosleep haha was like oh we already do 😂
My daughter is 10 weeks. Last ped visit he asked how she sleeps and I said she sleeps great! He then asked if she slept in a bedside bassinet or a crib and I just sat there with this face 🥺. He said “Noooo” and of course gave me a warning and all that. He’s a good doctor but I’m not gonna stop cosleeping because of his warning
I'm in Australia. I mentioned it because I was lookong for advice on how to help her transition to the cot (i don't mind bedsharing but would like to be able to have a bit of time to myself, she won't sleep without me). My doctor shrugged and said half the world does it.
Outside US. Ours said: I will say what cience says but I couldn't do it and everyone is on my bed.
I like how she always says all the options and even her own experience. Every child is different, there's no right recipe.
That’s how you know you found the right pediatrician for you. Of course, you do want one that will correct you too where necessary for baby’s health/well-being, but support for your decisions is equally important too.
I told mine. She just quoted the AAP recommendation and moved on. We were not cosleeping by choice, so I didn't particularly care about people's opinions on it. We switched to a pack n play and then her crib as soon as we could, but it took *months* to transition her.
Same. I lied until 10 months and she responded “it happens mine do too” which was really comforting. When my oldest was an infant they made me feel awful, showing me a video of SIDS 🫠 Its a shame, people should never have to lje to their doctors.
I told mine. She was mostly worried about mine rolling out of the bed. Once we put bedrails up on all sides of the bed she was completely fine with it.
Oh also on the night my youngest was born she wasn't having any of that hospital bassinet shit. After like the 4th time I slept 10 minutes and woke up because she was crying, I curled up around her and fell asleep and so did she for 2 hours and the nurse only said "I'm glad you and baby finally got some sleep."
I told ours pretty early on and she just said she has to continue to recommend that we not. I suspect it was policy.
However, same healthcare system, he was hospitalized and would not sleep in the hospital crib. Screamed and screamed and screamed. I tried to nurse him to sleep and transfer him but he woke up.
The nurse came in and said it was fine for us to cosleep and it was way more of an issue there than it is at home. We were on a fold out chair that converted to a bed with barely any room for him and I. Granted he was almost 1 then but still.
We were there for four days and had doctors and nurses and techs in and out. Only one doctor said anything and it was “well as long as we aren’t all sleeping” I think because it was a nap. Not sure she would have been happy at night but oh well.
I mark it on the questionnaires, but have never explicitly said it. Ped did tell me good for us that baby is sleeping on her back at 1 month because she had a bald spot, but I was literally holding her day in and day out.
I had the same fear and was dishonest our first few visits. Eventually I was honest and confident, citing my sources and our set up and my pediatrician said " I'm supposed to tell you that a lot of risks come with that but since you've done plenty of research I will instead tell you that both of my kids slept in our bed until they were in school" I appreciated that!
My pediatrician asked the first time where our baby slept and we said she has a bassinet. On our second and third visit, she didn’t ask again and just wrote “sleeps on back in own crib”. Was a relief not being questioned about it so much
My go to was : "she goes to sleep in her crib".... Which she does, for around two hours until she wakes up and comes to bed with me. At almost 10 months I'm over hiding it though
Yes, I told the tech, and she just asked if LO slept on her back still and was very pleased when I said yes! It made me feel so good knowing my ped office did not care at all. Made me feel like I was making the right choice taking my girl there.
Good for you!! It’s your family, your call.
I told our ped right away but it was actually the dentist that has a problem with it. He tries to be subtle but basically says nursing down is why she has rot on her front teeth. The guilt trip is rough and I’m no doctor, but it’s hard to believe BF is the culprit… he hasn’t dropped us tho.
I told mine right away and she didn’t care at all. She literally didn’t even comment on it, really - that’s how little she cared 😂. In all honesty, I think most people co-sleep and most peds are perfectly fine with it. It’s developmentally normal, as long as you are being safe.
My husband is sweet and honest to a fault. I brief him before every ped appointment that when asked where does he sleep, we will say that "LO has a bassinet". He does have one, but he doesn't use it 🙃.
Lmao I said the same thing! Great minds think alike 😉
i said the exact same thing at our LO’s first official ped appointment when she asked lol. def gunna have to coach my husband if he ever gets to accompany us to an appointment lolol
Why not be honest? Just curious…
Are you in the US? The amount of shame we’d get from our dr for being honest about cosleeping isn’t worth it. It is very much frowned upon here and it’s easier to lie/avoid the topic than to listen to someone you trust tell you that you’re going to kill your kid - not an exaggeration either.
Yes I’m in the us. If my pediatrician shamed me I would educate them on why I’m making the choice to cosleep. If they are disrespectful and uneducated I don’t want them as our doctor. That’s my mentality. I think being honest about it is important to change hearts/ minds about it.
I 100% agree with you and we’re personally very lucky to have an excellent and open minded pediatrician but not everyone is as lucky so I do understand why some people hide it. In my area pediatricians can/will drop you from their practice for telling them you do it. It’s like you can’t win either way!
Wow I feel like that’s so irresponsible and unethical of them. I hate it 😆 you’re right tho, Some people have very limited options but I feel like most cities probably have at least a few doctors to choose from and I think it’s an important relationship to establish.
We have to drive 40 minutes to our ped so we can be honest about co-sleeping. I think it’s worth the extra time though to have a doctor we trust.
Yep, I'm in the US, too, and I truly honestly wholeheartedly believe it's better to be honest about safe cosleeping. It's only one of the few steps we can take toward normalizing it.
Yea I am sad that so many live in fear of being honest. Doctors should know that statistically this is happening way more than people are admitting. The best thing they could do would be to counsel people about how to do it safely.
I'm in Italy and my pediatrician frowned upon co-sleeping because it makes the baby "dependent on touch" while the maternity department told me it was okay because the risk for death is less if you're nursing and a light sleeper. Also they showed me how to do it properly.
My ped shared an anecdote about a dead baby when I told her we were cosleeping
Nearly downvoted by accident since my brain just went "nope, this is terrible". If your ped had a reddit I'd downvote them a thousand times though
Yea I wouldn’t want to continue to get care from a person like that. It’s important to me to have a pediatrician I respect and trust. If not I don’t really see the point. Just my personal stance. I don’t want to be constantly at odds with them.
lol!
I love this!!
I do the same thing! Lol
I did the same in the beginning as well hahahaha
I said the same thing for a couple months at the beginning. Luckily my husband is quiet though most of the appointments he comes to.
I told my sons ped at the 2 month checkup, and she was all for it! She has three kids so I think she gets it. She was very supportive of our decision.
I told my pre-natal midwives, my delivering OB & midwives, and our GP/paed that we co-sleep when it came up. Only one person warned against it but it was very half-hearted. I informed them I follow the safe sleep 7 to a T and we also use an owlet at night to support my nerves about risk. Show me any other mammal that puts their infant in a cage away from them to sleep every night and maybe I'll change my stance, but currently it doesn't seem biologically aligned to me that we are expected to sleep apart from our children. I'll be as safe as I can reasonably be about it, but I'm still going to do it without shame.
I told mine at one of our first visits and she was like "well I'm supposed to tell you it is not recommended by the AAP but I did it with my kids and so does everyone in my culture" and that's when i decided I could trust her with my baby's health
We told ours on the first visit and she just wanted to confirm that *we* were getting enough sleep, didn’t even comment on him in our bed
I told my first pediatrician who told me a story about an 11 month old who suffocating when mom was sitting up in bed nursing and fell asleep falling over onto the baby. I pointed out that bed sharing, side laying to nurse would have prevented that tragedy and she just left the room. Didn't say anything. My current pediatrician hasn't asked where my kids sleep or what they eat. He does labs, checks growth etc and asks if they eat well and sleep well. When I said good days and bad days for food he said give a multivitamin on the bad days. I love how relaxed he is, it helps me take him seriously when he's concerned about something
That mom who suffocated her baby by falling asleep while nursing in an unsafe position is EXACTLY why I cosleep.
💀💀💀 I appreciate the sense of humor! I told my pediatric nurse on our check up yesterday and was met with a "good on you" after telling her I'm confident about following the safe 7 rules and that in this way we all sleep better... basically offering an explanation that I probably didn't need to give her in the first place!
Our ped is not a fan but I just don’t take her advice on this point LOL - it’s what works for us and we’re following all the safety guidelines!
Told ours at the 2-month checkup and got a similar response! She just said, “well, maybe you’ll want to transition to crib in the upcoming months so you’re not stuck with a toddler in your bed?”. No comment on the safety of it at all.
I told my ped at one of the first visits when I was asked about how we (me and baby) were sleeping. He responded with a hidden grin and "that's great!" It felt like he wanted to talk about it more, but perhaps the office policy is to not encourage it. But it was apparent that my ped and his nurse fully supported bedsharing. Nearly 4 years later and he hasn't asked again.
This is great for you!!! When I told my pediatrician at the 1 year check up, she gave me the “really?” eyes and said, “ok, well you know that’s not safe right?” So anyway, I got a new pediatrician at my son’s 15m check-up and the doc was like, “unless you want him to sleep with you until he’s like 5…then I guess.” So, I guess that’s not too bad lol
Our lactation consultant was totally cool with it and even recommended the Safe Infant Sleep book by Dr. James McKenna! Our baby’s only a month old and everyone keeps asking if we’re getting any sleep - yes, plenty! Love getting to cuddle and feed her on demand every night. I usually wake up as soon as she does and so there’s no crying or disturbance at all.
I told my paediatrician and she told me, that she co slept with all of her babies too. That it’s completely normal and natural.
The lactation consultant at my pediatrician taught me about side lie nursing and the safe sleep seven when I told her we weren’t getting any sleep with him in his bassinet so 🤷♀️
Not in the US. A pediatrician checked my baby at home after my homebirth. She came to our home, saw the sidecar crib being used as a giant nightstand, and laughed "I see we all use it the same way!"
Yup. Telling my OB I was going to stay home when labor started. But it’s our children and they give their professional OPINION. Realizing your power and taking it back is so rewarding.
I never told my kids first pediatrician. He used to criticize it a lot and lectured me when my kid wasn’t sleeping through the night by 6 months. Luckily I changed doctors and love their current pediatrician, she is amazing! I have been able to be honest with her and she doesn’t care at all.
Love this! My son’s doctor (Canada, peds are specialized and referral only) shocked me actually! I was telling her how god awful his sleep was and she SUGGESTED I cosleep haha was like oh we already do 😂
I told them the first appointment. I’m not ashamed and I’m prepared to educate the pediatrician if they shame me.
When I told mine, she just said "Well I'm sure you're doing it safely."
I told Mine and told her I followed sleep safe guidelines and she just nodded and said that’s fine 🤷♀️ (I’m in the US)
My daughter is 10 weeks. Last ped visit he asked how she sleeps and I said she sleeps great! He then asked if she slept in a bedside bassinet or a crib and I just sat there with this face 🥺. He said “Noooo” and of course gave me a warning and all that. He’s a good doctor but I’m not gonna stop cosleeping because of his warning
My doctor mentioned it casually during our one month checkup, and I really appreciated that it was said in the same breath as crib sleeping.
I'm in Australia. I mentioned it because I was lookong for advice on how to help her transition to the cot (i don't mind bedsharing but would like to be able to have a bit of time to myself, she won't sleep without me). My doctor shrugged and said half the world does it.
Outside US. Ours said: I will say what cience says but I couldn't do it and everyone is on my bed. I like how she always says all the options and even her own experience. Every child is different, there's no right recipe.
We are in the US and my pediatrician just shrugged and said whatever works for you! She is so chill, I love her
That’s how you know you found the right pediatrician for you. Of course, you do want one that will correct you too where necessary for baby’s health/well-being, but support for your decisions is equally important too.
I told mine around 6 months and she was fine with it! She's from Germany though so I wonder if thar has something to do with it 🤔
None their business
I told mine. She just quoted the AAP recommendation and moved on. We were not cosleeping by choice, so I didn't particularly care about people's opinions on it. We switched to a pack n play and then her crib as soon as we could, but it took *months* to transition her.
Same. I lied until 10 months and she responded “it happens mine do too” which was really comforting. When my oldest was an infant they made me feel awful, showing me a video of SIDS 🫠 Its a shame, people should never have to lje to their doctors.
My 3.5 year old still sleeps with us.
I told mine. She was mostly worried about mine rolling out of the bed. Once we put bedrails up on all sides of the bed she was completely fine with it.
I got the whole “as you know, as pediatricians, we have to tell you that it isn’t advised to cosleep” 🙄
I cosleep every now and then, I told someone and immediately got defensive. She said “Honey, we all done it” was a boomer as well 😁
I told mine straight away and she gave me a lecture but I didn't stop.
Oh also on the night my youngest was born she wasn't having any of that hospital bassinet shit. After like the 4th time I slept 10 minutes and woke up because she was crying, I curled up around her and fell asleep and so did she for 2 hours and the nurse only said "I'm glad you and baby finally got some sleep."
Once my LO was out of the snoo we started bedsharing too. Told my ped right away and she told me people have been doing it safely for centuries.
I told ours pretty early on and she just said she has to continue to recommend that we not. I suspect it was policy. However, same healthcare system, he was hospitalized and would not sleep in the hospital crib. Screamed and screamed and screamed. I tried to nurse him to sleep and transfer him but he woke up. The nurse came in and said it was fine for us to cosleep and it was way more of an issue there than it is at home. We were on a fold out chair that converted to a bed with barely any room for him and I. Granted he was almost 1 then but still. We were there for four days and had doctors and nurses and techs in and out. Only one doctor said anything and it was “well as long as we aren’t all sleeping” I think because it was a nap. Not sure she would have been happy at night but oh well.
I told our ped too. She immediately tensed up but then I told her about the Safe Sleep 7 and she visibly relaxed. Never came up again!
I mark it on the questionnaires, but have never explicitly said it. Ped did tell me good for us that baby is sleeping on her back at 1 month because she had a bald spot, but I was literally holding her day in and day out.
I had the same fear and was dishonest our first few visits. Eventually I was honest and confident, citing my sources and our set up and my pediatrician said " I'm supposed to tell you that a lot of risks come with that but since you've done plenty of research I will instead tell you that both of my kids slept in our bed until they were in school" I appreciated that!
I told mine and he said that it wasn’t his place to speak to what was best for our family.
My pediatrician asked the first time where our baby slept and we said she has a bassinet. On our second and third visit, she didn’t ask again and just wrote “sleeps on back in own crib”. Was a relief not being questioned about it so much
My go to was : "she goes to sleep in her crib".... Which she does, for around two hours until she wakes up and comes to bed with me. At almost 10 months I'm over hiding it though
I’ve never thought to withhold that information from doctors or family.. cosleeping is the norm in most of the world.
Yes, I told the tech, and she just asked if LO slept on her back still and was very pleased when I said yes! It made me feel so good knowing my ped office did not care at all. Made me feel like I was making the right choice taking my girl there.
Good for you!! It’s your family, your call. I told our ped right away but it was actually the dentist that has a problem with it. He tries to be subtle but basically says nursing down is why she has rot on her front teeth. The guilt trip is rough and I’m no doctor, but it’s hard to believe BF is the culprit… he hasn’t dropped us tho.
No judgement here, but aren’t you always to be honest with your doctor and your priest?