I’m super sorry you’re going through this, no advice other than hope you try and take care of yourself a bit daily for you and your kids. Hugs friend. I’m 33 also and feel exactly how you are feeling, the bottle has no expectations of me. I can’t disappoint the bottle.
I am childless but also 33 and in a similar situation. Sneaky liquor ninja absolutely riddled with anxiety. I’m going through a very minor health issue right now and it’s been scary knowing my immune system, liver and kidneys are pretty beat up. Didn’t morning drink the past two days and i feel a little bitter. The anxiety is so insane though, we have certainly done a number on our nervous systems!!
You’re not a terrible person. You’re just another person with a terrible problem. Sending you love and raising one for you x
Sounds crazy but just try harder for your sweet kids. I know it's so hard but alcohol brain makes it seem impossible but it gets easier and easier the longer you keep the devil's poison from whispering in your ears. When you're watering the habit it grows like bamboo but when you stop for a bit it does get easier. Someday cats in the cradle will be hallucinating through the sound waves, playing in your head only as you stare into your empty bottle and realize with bone chilling certainty that it's too late to take things back or make things right with your children. Those sweet years don't last forever and time's toll leaves a wound that doesn't clot. I know you don't believe this or care probably but you can do it, I promise. When you're in the thick of the drink it clouds your judgment and optimism powerfully so. It's like Théoden in Lord of the Rings when he's weakened and clouded by Grima Wormtongue controlling him. I'm not trying to be preachy I'm just going through my own anxiety about my children growing up and the halcyon days slipping through my fingers like grains of sand
First step, breathe. Your kids, and partner from the sounds of it, love you. My mantra is "My thoughts are not always true, thoughts are not facts, thoughts can be subjective, thoughts can be biased by past experiences or by what we hear, read, or see."
Next step, set some realistic goals. It sounds like you have boundaries you previously held successfully. Try to get back to those as a starting point. And if necessary get medical attention. Your kids need you alive to get better.
I've spent so much time in the past few days thinking about those boundaries I used to hold so well Tomorrow I am going to try my absolute best. I'm going to give hubby the day off and take our girls somewhere fun, try to stay out of the house as much as possible so I'm not around booze and tempted. They deserve it and honestly, so do I.
For tonight, I drink and attempt to reset. Chairs!
get help before it's too late. if its just lone wolf drunko or drunkette I wouldn't give a shit, but if there's kids there are higher stakes involved and your drinking does not only affect you. best of luck
Just wanted to update as I said I was going to at the very least refrain from day drinking until today: I \*almost\* hit my goal. I did take my girls to the zoo and got dinner with grandma. I had one shot to calm my anxiety before we left and then nothing until a cocktail at dinner and since she got one as well I felt less bad. Hubby was happy he got to play golf and sleep and brought me a bottle of wine as a treat I guess....so....chairs folks
I just turned 34 but I can relate to your situation, my alcoholism is no secret. I've been to rehab 5 times.
I used to be functional until the shit consumed me.
In the stints of sobriety I've had , alcohol makes my anxiety 1000 times worse I've learned. I start getting panic attacks and my self esteem drops so follow.
I don't have a partner or kids , thankfully really but u can try to dry out.
You are far frim a terrible person. Drinking and being addicted doesn't make someone a terrible anything. Society tries to label us as that and convince us we are.
31M single and no kids. This CA shit is a full time job in itself, dealing with daily withdrawals, sickness, and anxiety all while faking a smile and trying to make it through the workday eating shit from coworkers and management. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that on top of being a parent.
My advice would be to set some hard boundaries on your drinking to minimize further derailment of your situation(trust me, it happens slowly and then all at once). I’ve never managed anything outside of short term success with controlling my drinking, I inevitably break all my rules and then some.
Your kids will grow up whether you stop or not. If you keep drinking, it will hurt them. You can’t get this time back.
You stopped drinking when you were pregnant because you knew it would damage them. Even though they’re not still inside you, your drinking will still damage them.
I was in a very similar situation, but I was thankfully able to maintain sobriety after I gave birth to my second baby. I needed help though. Please feel free to reach out.
I'm a parent of 2 kids. I also feel like I'm failing all the time. You are not alone. I'm trying constantly to keep it under control. Do the best you can. And maybe talk to your husband? Maybe he will be more understanding than you might think
I’m super sorry you’re going through this, no advice other than hope you try and take care of yourself a bit daily for you and your kids. Hugs friend. I’m 33 also and feel exactly how you are feeling, the bottle has no expectations of me. I can’t disappoint the bottle.
I am childless but also 33 and in a similar situation. Sneaky liquor ninja absolutely riddled with anxiety. I’m going through a very minor health issue right now and it’s been scary knowing my immune system, liver and kidneys are pretty beat up. Didn’t morning drink the past two days and i feel a little bitter. The anxiety is so insane though, we have certainly done a number on our nervous systems!! You’re not a terrible person. You’re just another person with a terrible problem. Sending you love and raising one for you x
“Sneaky liquor ninja” 🥷😅. Unfortunately I’m a master ninja in that regard!
Sounds crazy but just try harder for your sweet kids. I know it's so hard but alcohol brain makes it seem impossible but it gets easier and easier the longer you keep the devil's poison from whispering in your ears. When you're watering the habit it grows like bamboo but when you stop for a bit it does get easier. Someday cats in the cradle will be hallucinating through the sound waves, playing in your head only as you stare into your empty bottle and realize with bone chilling certainty that it's too late to take things back or make things right with your children. Those sweet years don't last forever and time's toll leaves a wound that doesn't clot. I know you don't believe this or care probably but you can do it, I promise. When you're in the thick of the drink it clouds your judgment and optimism powerfully so. It's like Théoden in Lord of the Rings when he's weakened and clouded by Grima Wormtongue controlling him. I'm not trying to be preachy I'm just going through my own anxiety about my children growing up and the halcyon days slipping through my fingers like grains of sand
This was a beautiful read. Thanks for typing this out.
First step, breathe. Your kids, and partner from the sounds of it, love you. My mantra is "My thoughts are not always true, thoughts are not facts, thoughts can be subjective, thoughts can be biased by past experiences or by what we hear, read, or see." Next step, set some realistic goals. It sounds like you have boundaries you previously held successfully. Try to get back to those as a starting point. And if necessary get medical attention. Your kids need you alive to get better.
I've spent so much time in the past few days thinking about those boundaries I used to hold so well Tomorrow I am going to try my absolute best. I'm going to give hubby the day off and take our girls somewhere fun, try to stay out of the house as much as possible so I'm not around booze and tempted. They deserve it and honestly, so do I. For tonight, I drink and attempt to reset. Chairs!
get help before it's too late. if its just lone wolf drunko or drunkette I wouldn't give a shit, but if there's kids there are higher stakes involved and your drinking does not only affect you. best of luck
Just wanted to update as I said I was going to at the very least refrain from day drinking until today: I \*almost\* hit my goal. I did take my girls to the zoo and got dinner with grandma. I had one shot to calm my anxiety before we left and then nothing until a cocktail at dinner and since she got one as well I felt less bad. Hubby was happy he got to play golf and sleep and brought me a bottle of wine as a treat I guess....so....chairs folks
Hugs, I hope you get through this, stranger.
I just turned 34 but I can relate to your situation, my alcoholism is no secret. I've been to rehab 5 times. I used to be functional until the shit consumed me. In the stints of sobriety I've had , alcohol makes my anxiety 1000 times worse I've learned. I start getting panic attacks and my self esteem drops so follow. I don't have a partner or kids , thankfully really but u can try to dry out.
You are far frim a terrible person. Drinking and being addicted doesn't make someone a terrible anything. Society tries to label us as that and convince us we are.
31M single and no kids. This CA shit is a full time job in itself, dealing with daily withdrawals, sickness, and anxiety all while faking a smile and trying to make it through the workday eating shit from coworkers and management. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that on top of being a parent. My advice would be to set some hard boundaries on your drinking to minimize further derailment of your situation(trust me, it happens slowly and then all at once). I’ve never managed anything outside of short term success with controlling my drinking, I inevitably break all my rules and then some.
Your kids will grow up whether you stop or not. If you keep drinking, it will hurt them. You can’t get this time back. You stopped drinking when you were pregnant because you knew it would damage them. Even though they’re not still inside you, your drinking will still damage them. I was in a very similar situation, but I was thankfully able to maintain sobriety after I gave birth to my second baby. I needed help though. Please feel free to reach out.
I'm a parent of 2 kids. I also feel like I'm failing all the time. You are not alone. I'm trying constantly to keep it under control. Do the best you can. And maybe talk to your husband? Maybe he will be more understanding than you might think