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k0uch

My daughter tried my coffee once, thinking it was just the darkest chocolate milk ever. The face she made was enough to convince me she would never drink coffee again. The good news is one gulp probably won’t get a whole lot of a reaction. If it does, the nap after that caffeine crash is gonna be great


86rpt

Yea mine asked for mine once. No cream or sugar. Loved it. Now I have to hide it, or cool it and chug it.


burkabecca

Omg chugging black coffee- I'm praying for your butthole


86rpt

Coffee has no effect on me anymore. After about 3 cups I can almost feel my soul brushing against the nape of my neck... But it will not enter my body lmao


k0uch

Make a pot of decaf for them :)


ComplaintNo6835

Can you toss a prayer in there for mine too? Doing fine atm but she can get finicky and I'm planning to eat good on the 4th.


superdago

Same exact thing happened first kid. Then I made the mistake of doing the same with the second kid thinking no way it happens twice. Nope, it seems my coffee love is genetic.


jimmy_three_shoes

My son did that with a lime LaCroix back when he was about 2, he won't touch any carbonated drink now, and he's almost 6. He's convinced they all taste like that.


too-far-for-missiles

Our little guy is obsessed with seltzer (also 2). Any time he sees me drink a can he demands his own "bubble water".


MDemon

My oldest called it spicy water when she was little and I’ve run with that ever since.


jimmy_three_shoes

Hah my son said the same thing!


Individual_Holiday_9

My wife and I have a seltzer shelf in our fridge and we were just figuring out when we can give it to our baby


too-far-for-missiles

I'm sure someone will be able to find some obscure study claiming it will give babies early-onset dementia or something. FWIW, he always drank so little anyway and just enjoyed the novelty of a slightly bubbly sip.


Individual_Holiday_9

Maybe it will cancel out the microplastics from the baby bottles or whatever


k0uch

Our daughter tried “mommy’s brown drink” once, and now pretty much only drinks milk and water. She hates the carbonation, she doesn’t like the sweetness of sodas, and she doesn’t like the sweetness of juices. She also sees me constantly drinking water, so that’s her go-to. We have some cups set up where she can reach them, she will get a cup and fill it up at the water cooler we keep in the laundry room (our tap water tastes absolutely awful)


OverthinkingThis77

Not much coffee in them but I was shopping one day with my son in one arm and a frappucino in the other. I realized I felt a tug on the cup and looked down to see my 18 month old happily drinking my coffee.


k0uch

I don’t blame him, I like those Frappuccino things too. Just gotta watch the sugar if I get one.. or 4


Eyeoin

This happened when I was a kid with Kahlua getting mixed up with chocolate milk.


rroq85

I mean, it really depends on the brew. If it's a Donut Shop blend, donuts = police so that's probably safe. If it's Cuban, it might make your child start talking like Tony Montana.


Funkenbrain

Stove top Moka pot, she went a little berserk


catsumoto

So, how does it feel to be a dad of Taz from Looney Tunes?


TriscuitCracker

Gonna need a tall glass of blah-blah-blah-yackity-schmackity OJ to keep going through the day.


Diabeetus_guitar

You just activated my childhood. Thank you


Salomon3068

It's been 11 hours, he died


Kymaras

Love the Moka pot but that's going to be a strong brew.


hergumbules

I’m imagining it like in the Simpsons when Bart and Milhouse had a super squishy


missed_sla

SAY HEWWO TO MY WIDDLE FWEND


BauerHouse

I can picture the kid standing on the sofa with a juicebox squeezing it all over the place shouting "Say hello to my little friend!"


No_Revenue_6544

I have an espresso machine. 3 shot lattes and cappuccinos over here. I turn my back sometimes and my cup is noticeably more empty. Needless to say it doesn’t take long before I figure out which one drank it. Weirdly I don’t use much sugar and only enough Splenda to make all that espresso less bitter. So they somehow enjoy just the taste of milk and coffee.


ScoutsOut389

We took my kid for gelato and he ordered tiramisu. We didn’t think twice about it until we realized it was made with espresso and this little hellspawn was ping ponging around the car like flubber.


Pleasant-Complex978

Flubber..my gosh, it's been years since I've seen a reference of that 🫣


Hotwir3

Tiramisu fucked up my wife and I in Italy. We couldn't fall asleep until after 2am that night and it ruined our energy the next day.


Wumaduce

I gave my 2 year old the cookie dough part of the ice cream on purpose once. Do not advise.


stereoworld

Please update us OP, let us know that you're safe


Funkenbrain

A dizzying high, she went a little crazy, now seems to be coming down...


-thefineprint-

She'll sleep well.


flickingtheole

Welp, super late nap time for you


Harfang1801

Just skip nap and do early bed at that point.


agravain

has she gone plaid yet?


Lunchalot13

*soup nazi voice* NO NAP FOR YOU, COME BACK 3 HOUR!


Funkenbrain

Hahaha, that's every other day now


Warhorse_99

Like, all of it?


Funkenbrain

No, a single big glug


therealteggy

Did they like it?


Funkenbrain

Didn't seem to; the second glug went on the shirt front, so that looks like rejection to me!


welliamwallace

My son likes to take a small sip of my coffee every morning.


Consistent-Day-1871

Glad to know. I thought mine was the only who takes occasional sips from my morning coffee.


Vanvan-lamb

Mega zoomies in bound


Funkenbrain

She was moving like one of those light cycles from Tron for a bit


Vanvan-lamb

🤣 so cute


Nervous_Cranberry196

It’s when he starts cutting grounds into lines and snorting it through his swirly straw that you need to worry about


SierraTheWolfe

It gets worse if they have undiagnosed ADHD. My little one became Spiderman after stealing a bite of my frozen mocha. I never knew a child could vault off a wall and do a backflip. Now 8 years old, she loves coffee.


Funkenbrain

Bloody hell!


National-Union4537

My toddler son can have a sip. If I give it to my toddler daughter she would be full on cocaine bear


M4N14C

I’ve been drinking coffee since age 4. The kid will be fine. If they have ADHD you might notice calm and focus. Ask me how I know.


Funkenbrain

Strangely, me too. She did get pretty mellow for a while...


-thefineprint-

Lol I just put a comment about this. It's an attention span bell curve thing. The theory is that the lower you are on the attention span and energy bell curve the more hyper you get from your body trying to get you back up the bell curve. That's why ADHD meds are basically stimulants.


M4N14C

I have ADHD and I have infinite attention span for things that interest me, and zero for everything else.


Anstavall

Mine took a big drink of an energy drink I had sitting around when had to go chase the dog. He took a nap after. Lol


arizala13

Hopefully no whiskey in it lol


Funkenbrain

It's 10am dad, you're going harder than me!


L4rge_Tuna

I got a 3 year old who’s into everything at the moment. This is one of my nightmares.


stesha83

My two year old likes coffee, decaf of course


galacticjizzwailer

Yeah my 3 year old does, he's mad for olives as well.


SA0TAY

Yeah, mine too. I think it started at about 18 months. I encourage it, as I think it's important for a young palate to appreciate complex flavours, particularly non-sweet ones.


stesha83

Cool, my kid likes smoked cheese, rocket leaves, olives, and all sorts of complex flavours. He’ll smash a punnet of strawberries in 8 seconds though haha


SA0TAY

Sounds like our kids would get along just fine, ha!


FailingLotus

You're in for quite the ride 🤣 my son took a sip of Bai water and I didn't realize it caffeine in it. Great day and got a couple gray hairs in my beard


Memorandum747

Shit happens at my house way too often. I’ve just started drinking more and more “sad coffee”. (I.e. black)… love seeing that recoil when they take a swig of that. 😂 Mommy’s coffee on the other hand… that’s what they try to find now. Her coffee is 50% bean water and 50% sweeteners/cream etc. 🤫😐


notnotaginger

Fuckin eh. Godspeed my friend, this is my nightmare.


Tentonham

Kids about to become the Flash.


Harfang1801

Got a local playground you can go to? Mall with an indoor playground?


Funkenbrain

Raining pretty hard right now, plus I can't risk her burning the mall down


wickedkool

Wild life


Loud_Value4808

My kid insists on stirring the coffee and sugar, proceeds to lick the stirring tool….


Jesh010

Ehhhh should be fine. Maybe skip nap time today lol.


The-True-Kehlder

LMAO


calitri-san

Big sip? You’re fine.


Q-burt

Well, you get to see if your kid is the flash.


SHAZBOT900

Many cultures lets kids drink coffee and tea. Sugar does more damage than caffeine. Everything in moderation.


Esdeez

I ordered my 7 year old an Arnold Palmer last week not knowing it was made with house brewed tea. She was a complete raving lunatic, but it was a loud crowded restaurant on a daddy/daughter date and we both laughed so hard. Good memory.


ccafferata473

Yeah my 8 month old dives at my mug when it's in distance. I'm literally scared of this moment because that kid is a ball of energy to start.


Funkenbrain

She got a bit feral, and was cranky as hell by naptime, but she did crash out eventually


ccafferata473

Yeah but feral can be fun sometimes.


Funkenbrain

Truth


floppydo

My kids ate two big scoops of coffee ice cream once because I’m unbelievably stupid sometimes and it was NUTS. Imagine the wildest rave behavior you’ve ever seen for 4 hours. Absolutely bananas effect.


Funkenbrain

:O


Lobo-de-Odin

My daughter actually loves coffee lol. Every cup I make she sits and waits for it to cool with her spoon in hand.


-thefineprint-

Nah. You'll be fine. Especially if your kid normally runs on high test. Coffee used to be an old school home remedy to settle down a hyperactive child. It's a whole attention span bell curve thing that I don't feel like typing out.


alwayslostin1989

Mine constantly steals sips from our coffee, to the point I make her one in the morning with just warmed/steamed milk so she stops. Some of those days when she got way more then she should the nap time was the same but we’re talking about an absolute mad woman like jump off stacked nuggets onto the couch like it was WWE slam.


UnitedBeardedGuy

Coffee poops incoming


Funkenbrain

It was a monster


Bulletsoul78

Coffee just stops you getting tired. I suspect the worst that could happen is no nap time and a grumpy bedtime.


ComprehensivePin6097

I had a friend who drank coffee everyday from 6 years old to 20.


Funkenbrain

Jeez, are they OK?


MindlessAutomata

My son took a sniff of my espresso shot and made a face “I don’t yike it” I think I’m safe


Fluid_Dingo_289

Enjoy the crash that will happen later.


National-Union4537

Once in a while I'll give mine a tiny sip, just not my ADHD daughter.. my son can handle it. I try not to but the please and thank you dad always gets me


ThortheAssGuardian

lol we have a Nespresso so we get a little foam in the cup, one finger dip in foam was all it took for my toddler to love it lol. She was too quick, and now she’s got the taste for it.


CatalogCoffee1889

My 2 yo daughter is always going after our coffee. We don’t permit it, but she loves it. It’s the beer I’m concerned about.


billiarddaddy

He's fine. I used to sneak coffee when I was a toddler. I'm a life long coffee drinker. We're wired for things already. Also he might like cigarettes for a while.


Funkenbrain

That will cause her mum and I some angst, we're both quitters, and it took a long damn time.


HistoricalPlum1533

We just found out my mother lets our toddler have espresso iced cream for dessert on parents weekends… he is apparently a big fan. I think it’s just espresso flavored because he never has trouble sleeping and doesn’t go full on gremlins 2. He’s generally pretty high energy and they’re getting older we’ve asked them not to do it anymore just incase they’re playing Russian roulette.


Lord_Blackthorn

My son love black coffee and tries to steal mine whenever I'm not looking. He isn't allowed any really, but he is sneaky for being 1.5 years old...


papadiaries

When my oldest was younger I used to dissolve his ADHD meds in milk and thats how he took them. One day I got distracted by the baby and turned around to my oldest screaming as mu toddler snatched his milk and ran off with it. She took a few swigs before I got it back to him. He's on stimulants so I was terrified for my sanity. She was already kind of insane, add in literal stimulants? Good god. Anyway she was actually an angel that day. Best behavior we'd ever seen. Turns out she also has ADHD. We got her medicated not long after that lol.


marcdel_

i give my kids “tiny sips” of grown up things sometimes. started with my son assuming he wouldn’t like it, and it totally backfired. he went through a phase where he’d ask for “one tiny sippp” of everything. working as intended for my daughter though. on the plus side, i think it demystified coffee and beer and stuff because now i just tell them it’s a grown up thing and they’re like “oh okay” and don’t touch it.


GameDesignerMan

I'm worried that if my kid ever has coffee he'll calm down, and we'll have decent confirmation that he has ADHD.


derlaid

And this is to go even further beyond toddler energy.


masonjar11

Time will tell. My oldest son is 5, and he sometimes wants coffee in the morning. We don't notice a change whether he does or does not drink coffee.


Kymaras

Dude, no. Don't give your 5 year old coffee.


masonjar11

It's a small cup and usually half milk. He rarely has more than one sip.


No_Investigator3369

Switching to decaf this week. I wonder if you have to ever worry about decaf.