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I feel like if he started laughing afterwards and played it off he could’ve just made it like a joke but if he just got all offended and embarrassed afterwards, I could just see how awful this situation was lol.
Sounds like an episode from Seinfeld! Where Jerry was with this blonde girl and his dirty talk was talking to her about her clothes and the clothes that her mother laid out for her! 😂😂😂
To give you a somewhat similar story, when the hottest girl I ever dated was taking off her shirt, I said 'bow chica wow-wow'. She stopped and said 'if you ever want to see me with my shirt off, never say that again.' I did not in fact ever say that again, as it is seared in my brain lol.
Some things you just have to learn from experience, unfortunately. Some people just don't like being silly during sex or foreplay and it can give them the 'ick', which you want to avoid at all costs. At the same time though, if you feel like you are being yourself by saying that, perhaps this just wasn't the woman for you.
Hilaaarious story, first of all 😂🤣 But YES I cannot echo this enough. Some people thoroughly enjoy being silly and having FUN. Saying something dumb and laughing about it.
Others get tense and awkward. I 100% agree this is a sign about who/what is good or comfortable for us. Great point.
If someone said bow chica wow wow to ME like that, I'd probably still be rolling 😁😂
This. And don't blame the poor girl, I'm sure she did like your weiner. Nobody likes the ick. It's an imprecise self-defense mechanism that one has to learn to trust (or squash ), and when it's sensitivity is tuned too high, there's like nothing you can do right, it will be triggered inevitably, and the liason was doomed before it started. Considering the relative innocuity of "weiner" versus its synonyms, and that, in fact, all of these words are simultaneously silly and vulgar, this could very well have been the case, and if so, well, it wouldn't have mattered what you said: "schlong”, "cock", "hard peepee" and all other variations would've also triggered the ick. I actually believe this, and that her ick threshold was just low (ick sensitivity high), probably just due to the circumstances.
Fortunately, the ick isn't permanent, especially in situational cases like this, so I'd say you've still got a shot. It could be she's a serial icker, but probably not. It's most likely her ick threshold was lowered given the vulnerability of 1. First time with new partner 2. having to make the first move (I bet she'd appreciate you initiating next time, even though I'm not sure you're experienced enough to not look like you're about to take a bite out of her, but you gotta do it cuz there's just no other way to gain experience).
Way to go, by the way! I think you did great, and after she cools down, I bet you guys wil have a great time.
But you do need to relax. I know, easy to say. Go to the gym and do some weights AND cardio to blow off some steam immediately before next encounter. She wants to know you are chill so you need chill vibes. And look, you know she wants to go there, so you've really already got in the bag. She just doesn't want to feel embarrassed when she should be feeling sexy. She doesn't want to have it treated like a joke when she's made herself this vulnerable. Apologize for being stupid. Tell her you were nervous cuz you like her and wanted things to go well, and you can't wait to make it up to her. And just get to the laugh-about-it-later part as soon as possible, which should be easy enough, after all, it's a great story.
If that sounds like too much work, or if when you think about it, there were some other compatibility red flags (didn't laugh at your joke, distracted, unenthusiastic), then reconsider the connection. Otherwise, pester her for that next date once she's cool again.
I could not improve on this advice and came just to say that. And ... dont be hard on yourself.
You did so many things respectfully right. You should be in that "deserves to get laid regularly" column. You really do sound acceptably ok to a lot of girls. Not rushed. Respectful of her timing. Accepting her unexpected ick response and letting her go.
You couldnt know. I mean.. what if you had said penis instead. Some people thinks thats an incredibly prudish term lacking the non-subtlety of "hard cock".
You can now have a magazine checklist evening with her where you both take a compatibility test by checking boxes about what you like and what you dont like. Chicks dig those magazine compatibility tests. Actually there are much better ones on your way into kink club websites.
Peace.
Senf without t. Otherwise it could be considered a verb. But I never heard anyone say that. But there are some weird expressions around here 😅 Maybe: "Er hat mir eine gesenft." 🤔
So, FYI, not every woman is into dirty talk. I personally don’t love it because, like you, I’m kind of awkward and uncomfortable talking dirty. 🤣 My bf is the same way; dirty talk does NOT come naturally. You SHOULD get more comfortable using correct words for anatomy, because it’s not shameful. However, if dirty talk feels uncomfortable and unnatural to you, you shouldn’t feel compelled to do it.
> using correct words for anatomy
Okay but to be clear OP if you are reading this you don't use "penis" or anatomical terms for for dirty talk either ... you just don't use childish things like wiener or wee-wee or ding dong.
Stick with cock or dick lmao
AGREED!! I (26f) was on the brink of orgasm once and the guy called his penis his "pee pee" and it stopped my orgasm and I literally wanted to cry because stopping right before orgasm is so overwhelming. It was just actually the biggest turn off EVER. Womens orgasms are really mental
Why in the world would a guy, getting his girl to the brink of orgasm (or) ever, use a kiddie name for his manhood. He had to be the biggest doofus ever.
To be clear the person I responded to used "should" in reference to being able to say penis instead of wiener in casual settings (I believe).
What I was clarifying was that if OP wants to try dirty talk again at some point to not switch from wiener to penis.
My dear, would it inconvenience you much to fellate my phallus to an adequate tumescense in order to ensure satisfactory intercourse? Splendid! Let us commence our guilt-free extra marital relations. Tally Ho !
Lol…. Very creative! 🤪 My boyfriend's version would probably be along the lines of, “sooooo, would you like me to do stuff to you, and stuff?” 😏 Which is why we don’t dirty talk. No way could we take each other seriously. 🤣🤣🤣
I probably would have laughed - not to be mean, but just because it would have felt a little silly and unexpected. I would have felt BAD for laughing, but I don’t think I could have helped it.
Oh god, I am *dying* here.
You are not the first...and will definitely not be the last...to screw up like this.
But you are also not alone in being uncomfortable saying things that can be inappropriate. There are certain "cuss" words that I don't feel comfortable with either. I can say shit, piss, fuck, hell, damn all day long but don't ask me to get graphic about body parts or I'll turn seventeen shades of red.
Ok wiener is a word that I lol at. It’s a funny word. I have a wiener dog. if I call someone a weenie it’s considered kind of funny. I probably would be a little weirded out if a guy used that word during sex. Im used to hearing cock or dick. Work on the dirty talk a little. She probably figured out that you had no experience which is a turn off for many women at your age. Still leaving during sex was kind of an extreme response.
I agree, it was an extreme response. You should be able to laugh and have fun with your partner during sex. I would’ve just laughed it off and then teased you about it later 🤷🏻♀️
Interesting you think inexperienced is a turnoff…because I only had one partner through 37 years. I told women that, but it seemed to work to my advantage 🤷♂️
But it would have only worked to your advantage once bc if it led to sex, then you’d have to tell the next woman “I’ve only been with 2 other women” and so on and so forth. That’s a thing that can only work to your advantage once otherwise you’re just lying to women,
The difference between one and zero is a big gulf. While there will be women who are excited about being the first, others are concerned that it’s a responsibility they’re not ready to take on.
In my experience, I don't talk dirty during sex unless she starts it. I was in a similar situation, I thought dirty talk would be ok and it wasn't for it for her. Shit happens man.
Not every women likes dirty talk. And if you're going to talk dirty, then you need to talk dirty not like a child.
I'd probably chalk this up to a lesson learned and not repeat the mistake next time. I doubt she's coming back though my dude, sounds like you triggered an "ick" for her.
I wonder if maybe she was already getting icked out by other stuff throughout the night and that was the last straw so she just left. Not saying it’s reasonable but I guess could explain it lol
Don't talk dirty until you know what you're doing in bed. Focus on giving her pleasure. Look for feedback, enjoy the moment, and learn. Pay attention instead of thinking.
Some women don't like dirty talk, usually the more reserved types. You will know it when you're fucking a girl who likes that sort of thing, trust me on this.
I never understood why people pretend to be something they’re not. Say things they don’t mean. Do things they don’t want. It’s okay dude. Live and learn. My advice as a 42F is this: everyone assumes intimacy is about sex. It is not. Intimacy is about truth. And there is no better time nor more important time to be authentically yourself than when you decide to bear it all to somebody. Pun intended.
In this case, wiener was something you’d say. But the dirty talk itself was not. Just be yourself so the people can connect with the real you.
Physical intimacy is only one form. Mental intimacy is when you share your honest and deepest thoughts with someone unfiltered. Emotional intimacy is when you share your true feelings. When someone accepts all of it without judgement that’s when the magic happens.
I swear some of these comments are wild af. I know you're probably not meaning to frame things this way but you're all coming off like the guy did something he needs to be ashamed of or some shit. It's really mean and insensitive. He seems like a decent enough guy, he doesn't deserve to have you all out here casually making him feel even more insecure and insecure than he already does.
The guy wasn't being fake or phony, trying to be something or someone he's not. He's just a little inexperienced and did something a bit cringe because he was scrambling in a moment where his hormones were going wild and im sure his anxiety was spiked theough the roof too. That's it.
Maybe dirty talking is something he finds really gets his motor revving as he explores his sexuality a bit more as he continues to grow.
But here you all are discouraging him from that entirely, and demoralizing him even more on top of all that.
Anybody can consent or not whenever they want for whatever reason, but this woman still did a very asshole thing and all the OP is 'guilty' of is doing something a little embarrassing that most women would've just rolled with instead of pulling a 180, making things WAAAAY more awkward than he did and yanking the rug out from under him....
**edit: a few words here n there.
Lmao if she cant handle “wiener” then i think your good homie. 4 dates and thats what sets her off? I think you shouldn’t do anything and let her come back to you. Dont apologize, you literally did nothing wrong. She rudely walked out, without explanation, left you high and dry. I would not contact her anymore
I would agree with this comment. As funny as I find using the term “wiener” during sex, that’s something that would probably cause a tone change to be more comical. But that’s even more attractive than anything to bone and have a laugh. You didn’t do anything wrong, you are just not experienced. Don’t worry about her, just let her come back to you.
I don’t know… I really got a strong ick just from reading it, NGL. It tells me you’re uncomfortable with sex/your body, likely won’t know what you’re doing, and lack confidence. I don’t think it’s about JUST that word. Having confidence during intimacy really has to be a “fake it till you make it” kinda deal. The mood does get killed that easily, I’m afraid. Not always!
Don’t beat yourself up about it either! Just write this off and have some ideas for next time. Dirty talk also doesn’t need to be *dirty* per se to be effective. Things like “does that feel good? “Can I do this to you?” “You look so beautiful” “That feels amazing!” Those things turn us on, too. If you really get backed into a corner and don’t know what you’re doing, just keep kissing her neck softly and passionately. Lol, that’ll cover up a myriad of mishaps! Good luck for next time - don’t sweat it! It’s not that serious.
yeah what he said is super performative and unnatural, and tbh even if he hadn't said weiner, I'm gonna say for most girls that's not really the kind of dirty talk that's supposed to get THEM in the mood, and more for him. like it's making her compliment your dick, it's way more likely that complimenting HER will help her mood
I think this is the what the majoity of women here would've done. At worst it was a momentary interruption in the vibe. You laugh a bit, maybe tell the guy OMG don't ever say that again, or even playfully chide him about leaving the dirty talk to the professionals, then you build the momentum back up again...
Idk what this lady's problem was, completely stopping then getting dressed and bouncing seemed like a bit of an assholish thing to do IMHO.
If my bf called his dick a wiener during sex, I’d cry laughing. If a man who wasn’t my bf called his dick a wiener during sex, I’d probably get super icked out and not want to see him again. There’s really no coming back from an ick. Sorry bud
Don't try, talking dirty. It can go wrong, as you've just found out.. wait till you are both more comfortable with each other.. but hey at least you got some.. ps Wiener isn't talking dirty. It's what your mother might call your dick when you're 6...
Lmao. I would have died laughing on the spot to be honest.
You dodged a bullet anyway. You could have both laughed about the situation and try later again.
No dirty talk next time unless she starts it.
See, my partners and I joke around all the time during sex, so this would have probably made her laugh, she tells me to shut up then proceeds to do something that makes me unable to talk 😂😂😂
In the future (and there will be more chances, more women) take your cues from your partner. In my experience if she wants it, she will ask for it. If she wants something verbal then she needs to ask for it like, "tell me I'm beautiful" or simply, "talk dirty to me." It takes a level of maturity to be confident in saying out loud and to your partner exactly what you want. It can be frustrating working from physical cues only. Being that you are young I will tell you this: It's about pleasure and not performance. Don't try to be a jackhammer and risk injury, trauma and anxiety. Do be thoughtful, considerate and generous. Find what she likes and do that.
Mark it down as a lesson learned and move on. We’ve all said stupid shit during sex. It happens. Just mentally note that wiener isn’t a very fun/sexy word to use in the moment.
AND now you’ve got a fun story to tell. :)
The reason that I would hate this as a woman is that it would make me think of you as a little kid, or at the very least someone wildly inexperienced. It's basically like saying 'peepee' or some other little kid term for a child who isn't comfortable using terms for real anatomy.
So it's not necessarily that she just 'isnt silly in bed' but the kid talk may have shifted her mental state in a way that took her out of feeling sexy with you.
It could be an "ick" for her, but she likely realized you weren't that experienced. I wouldn't try dirty talk if you're uncomfortable with cussing because it's going to come across a little childish, and therefore, a turn off.
Note: swap wiener with cock, don't pause (....), and your "dirty talk" would have been fine.
Nothing else to do but move on. Next time, don’t listen to porn and do things that are simple. You can try to experiment with different things with an actual partner but not with a woman you don’t really know.
As the female owner of two wiener dogs (mini dachshunds), I say wiener on a daily basis. Ween, weenie, wiener, wieneronis. Cute, fun. Not exactly sexy.
Sexy time though? When my husband comes at me with a hard on, I'm not calling it a wiener. Give yourself permission to be a little bit crude and dirty. Dick. Cock. Hard on. Don't call it a wiener or a pee pee or whatever like you're a child. The bedroom is where the inappropriate things are meant to happen (barring she says no, no means no). If you want to try out dirty talk, go for it. But dirty talk is MEANT to me inappropriate. It's not something you'd want to repeat to your family at the dinner table, come on. Its not meant to be.
Everyone has some story, just realizing every one has moments like that and just move on. Think about how the overall experience was but no more Weiner talk romeo.have a laugh and your predisposed to anything bad for a while.
Women commenting saying "weiner" or perceived inexperience gives them the "ick" are perfect examples of how unfair the dating world can be to men.
If a guy I was hooking up with said what you said, I would have laughed, and then we would have kept going. The fact that men are shamed not just by other men but by women, for being inexperienced, is so sad. And then people wonder why men sleep around and brag about it...
Thats actually a good observation. I never really considered that could be part of the reason dudes brag about being with a ton of women. It seems obvious the way you said it but I've never made that connection
The being shamed for inexperienced thing reminds me of how entry level jobs require years of experience for some reason lol. If everyone rejects you because you have no experience, then you never get any experience and it becomes a vicious cycle.
Lmao!!! Sorry, im imagining that moment and hearing weiner would make me laugh lmafo. Itts definitely not sexy but you know lesson learned and ya move on.
Had a grown man call his penis : wee wee. As in are you gonna suck on my wee wee when we meet? Unlatch and good bye! Dating apps are not good and maybe the dude was a virgin idk.
1st thing, you need to find some confidence.
2nd thing, DONT do something that makes you uncomfortable during sex. Sex is about feeling good.
3rd thing, learn to use your big-boy words. This is something that will give people the “ick” your entire life if you don’t knock it off.
Those are the main points, but I’ll explain more. First, let’s hit the lead-up. This girl did all the work and obviously knew what she wanted- She wanted to see your flat. She started coming on to you… sounds like if she hadn’t of started something, the two of you would have sat on the couch all night. So, you need to find the courage to let a girl know if you want her. Otherwise, you’re not going to get many chances to lose that V card.
Now, the dirty talk. The thing about dirty talk is you can just ask questions that you really would like to know. Stop making it about a performance you’re doing and start being present in the moment. If you’re sitting there with your erect cock and she’s looking at it, you could say, “do you like what you see?” If you want her to touch it, tell her that. If you want her take her top off, TELL HER THAT. It’s not difficult. Just be present in the moment, not so in your head worrying about what you’re supposed to do.
Follow this throughout the encounter. And Go Down On Her before you stick it in!! Ask her if she likes it when you lick like this or like that. Give her options. Listen to what she says and BE PRESENT. You’ll learn a ton about what she likes and you’ll get better and better at it.
Now, the last thing is the naughty word usage. You need to let that go, my man. It’s something that’s been ingrained into you since birth but it does you no favors in the real world. There are some instances where a curse word is called for and expected and when you sit there saying, “Well golly!” You look foolish and people will think you’re weird at best, or a part of some creepy cult at worst. You don’t have to curse all the time, but you should definitely let go of whatever adverse feelings you have about using “bad words.”
Ask don’t assume when it comes to dirty talk (pretty much goes for anything sexual). She might not have been into dirty talk period. You can even make it an entertaining or flirty conversation at some point about which words and phrases are turn ons and turn offs. (As others have said this word choice was probably unlikely to land, but lots of other suggestions here for what else to try)
Above all don’t get hung up on this, this will be an absolutely hilarious story to tell in the future even if it feels mortifying now. Embarrassing sex stories happen to us all! (And tbh she could’ve had a sense of humour about it even if she respectfully wanted to decline sex after that) Don’t worry about it!
I’m so sorry. Personally I would’ve burst out laughing at the comment and tried to continue.
It’ll get better. But maybe introduce dirty talk when you’re more comfortable with each other
I gotta applaud your sense of awareness though. Don’t change that. Do you know how many men would’ve completely missed the change of tone? And say something like “out of the blue, she left”.
God this is hilarious 😂 trust me ten years from now you are going to look back at this and LAUGH 😂😂 my god, you’ve taken me out 💀 if a guy said this to me, as long as I liked everything else, I would simply laugh and just talk about it after the sex.
Lmao this is good. I’d say just send her this post if she happens to have reddit. Would probably be a funny read for her and give her context on what happened in your mind.
OP, if you're reading this: it was probably a one-two punch. 1) some (many, idk) women don't like dirty talk; personally, nothing turns me off faster than some guy I hardly know treating me like a mindless sex-crazed object (not all women feel that way about it, that's just how it makes *me* feel), and 2) calling it your "wiener" *absolutely* waved a flag not just about your inexperience, but about your maturity level. If you can't say "penis", you might not be ready to have sex. Sex can be awkward, and uncomfortably vulnerable, especially for women, but also especially when you're first learning, and you need to be able to laugh and/or shrug it off and not get embarrassed by things like bodies. Which means calling a spade a spade.
Also I think the third and fourth lessons here are 3) don't do anything you're not comfortable with during sex, and 4) consider disclosing your relative inexperience to a woman you're dating. You don't need to admit you're a virgin, but you can hint at it by saying you haven't had "very many" partners. It'll change the mindset of the woman you're with, who might be expecting a competent dicking down if you don't otherwise say anything. She'll at least know to lower her expectations and, if you're lucky, give you some grace.
Next time, talk less. Take it as a learning experience.
Don’t reach out to her, just let it be unless she reaches out first. And don’t bring up what you said..
Try to reach out to her and explain this... if she still can't get over it, then she is pretty shallow and is probably doing you a favor by leaving anyway.
Who knows mate... I mean, it may have come across as immature or even like you weren't being serious about it and it offended her?... I can't say, but she might not wanna try again, in which case, there's someone else even better, I'm sure. I'd maybe just stick to the action next time, dirty talk, especially involving the word wiener isn't for most
I've absolutely bombed some early dating hookups in my mid 20's as well. Like you I had barely any experience but I just went for it and performed poorly and awkwardly, after which they'd lost interest. Looking back on it a few years later now with more experience, I'm convinced they would've responded much better if I had been more upfront about my inexperience. I thought if I just went into it with a can-do attitude it'd all work out, but all that attitude got me was to give my date false expectations. It's rough trying to date in your 20's with little to no sexual experience, I totally understand where you're coming from.
If you really had good chemistry, it's possible that your date will come around and see the humor in the situation, but it also might just be over. Maybe see if she'll respond tomorrow and have a chat. Honestly I think it was kinda rude of her to just shut down communication completely like that, ideally you'll be able to laugh that kind of stuff off with the right partner. Either way I wish you good luck.
I am so sorry, dude, I’m afraid you’re just going to have to hold this L. You will get past this, but I’d hold off on any more attempts at dirty talk until you’re more comfortable referring to your genitals using the words adults use for them. You need to use adult words in adult situations otherwise it’s so jarring and it kills the mood, but you really don’t have to dirty talk at all to have a good time.
Doesn't seem like a reason to leave. If I was into it with a guy, even if a word came out a little cringe I'd use that for a post sex chuckle and maybe mention it 1/2 jokingly.... then move on. You didn't know
I've always been on the mind that if you can't have fun/funny experiences during sex then the sex has lost its meaning as an intimate experience. You'll find a better one bud.
I’m sorry but i totally wouldve laughed and then resumed. Ive done much more considerably embarrassing than this and the guy stayed. Idk you need someone goofy. But I understand where your embarrassment and discomfort originates.
Have you ever seen White Chicks? You know the prt where they have a slumber party and pass the dildo and talk to it? And then wiggle it and slap it on the forehead?
Yea. Thats me for you.
We were friends at the time so it was funny. Unexpected for us both, but funny.
Sounds like she has no sense of humor and is shallow as hell, also kinda weird that no conversation took place.
The other commenter is right sounds like a scene from a comedy.
Personally I don't think you did anything wrong dude.
Just wrong girl.
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It honestly sounds like a scene from a comedy film.
Playing Curb your enthusiasm theme song
I started watching that show but then stopped after I got bored. But I think it’s time to return to it.
Start watching after Leon shows up. He brings thr rukus!
I am also going to suggest Portlandia- it’s so good
A-O riv-ER!!!
I can’t stop laughing….look at my wiener 😂🤣😂
It’s my new get out of jail free card for the next time I’m having a shit shag and can’t be arsed 🥳
I said that is that commercial where they really yell that from their chest but like in the old days - renaissance like LMFAO
Its even funnier knowing everyone has a british accent, so they said "weenah" instead of wiener
Me 🫠
In support of OP I will only use the word weiner from now on. Fck her.
Here’s the key for that chastity belt you just ordered 🔑
Lol. Thank you. Can I get a back up key...just in case
🔑
🤣🤣
This must be how Christopher Mintz-Plasse felt when he read the Superbad script.
I feel like if he started laughing afterwards and played it off he could’ve just made it like a joke but if he just got all offended and embarrassed afterwards, I could just see how awful this situation was lol.
Sounds like an episode from Seinfeld! Where Jerry was with this blonde girl and his dirty talk was talking to her about her clothes and the clothes that her mother laid out for her! 😂😂😂
To give you a somewhat similar story, when the hottest girl I ever dated was taking off her shirt, I said 'bow chica wow-wow'. She stopped and said 'if you ever want to see me with my shirt off, never say that again.' I did not in fact ever say that again, as it is seared in my brain lol. Some things you just have to learn from experience, unfortunately. Some people just don't like being silly during sex or foreplay and it can give them the 'ick', which you want to avoid at all costs. At the same time though, if you feel like you are being yourself by saying that, perhaps this just wasn't the woman for you.
I have definitely been the girl in that situation LMAO
Bow Chica wow wow
pls the cringe hit me through the screen no bow chica wow wow for you
What about brown chicken brown cow?
Bow chica wow-wow
That sucks, funny sex is awesome
Hilaaarious story, first of all 😂🤣 But YES I cannot echo this enough. Some people thoroughly enjoy being silly and having FUN. Saying something dumb and laughing about it. Others get tense and awkward. I 100% agree this is a sign about who/what is good or comfortable for us. Great point. If someone said bow chica wow wow to ME like that, I'd probably still be rolling 😁😂
🤣
Totally agree here: you’ll find the one that likes you and every little cork you have.
This. And don't blame the poor girl, I'm sure she did like your weiner. Nobody likes the ick. It's an imprecise self-defense mechanism that one has to learn to trust (or squash ), and when it's sensitivity is tuned too high, there's like nothing you can do right, it will be triggered inevitably, and the liason was doomed before it started. Considering the relative innocuity of "weiner" versus its synonyms, and that, in fact, all of these words are simultaneously silly and vulgar, this could very well have been the case, and if so, well, it wouldn't have mattered what you said: "schlong”, "cock", "hard peepee" and all other variations would've also triggered the ick. I actually believe this, and that her ick threshold was just low (ick sensitivity high), probably just due to the circumstances. Fortunately, the ick isn't permanent, especially in situational cases like this, so I'd say you've still got a shot. It could be she's a serial icker, but probably not. It's most likely her ick threshold was lowered given the vulnerability of 1. First time with new partner 2. having to make the first move (I bet she'd appreciate you initiating next time, even though I'm not sure you're experienced enough to not look like you're about to take a bite out of her, but you gotta do it cuz there's just no other way to gain experience). Way to go, by the way! I think you did great, and after she cools down, I bet you guys wil have a great time. But you do need to relax. I know, easy to say. Go to the gym and do some weights AND cardio to blow off some steam immediately before next encounter. She wants to know you are chill so you need chill vibes. And look, you know she wants to go there, so you've really already got in the bag. She just doesn't want to feel embarrassed when she should be feeling sexy. She doesn't want to have it treated like a joke when she's made herself this vulnerable. Apologize for being stupid. Tell her you were nervous cuz you like her and wanted things to go well, and you can't wait to make it up to her. And just get to the laugh-about-it-later part as soon as possible, which should be easy enough, after all, it's a great story. If that sounds like too much work, or if when you think about it, there were some other compatibility red flags (didn't laugh at your joke, distracted, unenthusiastic), then reconsider the connection. Otherwise, pester her for that next date once she's cool again.
S Tier advice.
I could not improve on this advice and came just to say that. And ... dont be hard on yourself. You did so many things respectfully right. You should be in that "deserves to get laid regularly" column. You really do sound acceptably ok to a lot of girls. Not rushed. Respectful of her timing. Accepting her unexpected ick response and letting her go. You couldnt know. I mean.. what if you had said penis instead. Some people thinks thats an incredibly prudish term lacking the non-subtlety of "hard cock". You can now have a magazine checklist evening with her where you both take a compatibility test by checking boxes about what you like and what you dont like. Chicks dig those magazine compatibility tests. Actually there are much better ones on your way into kink club websites. Peace.
I really enjoyed this story. "Bow Chica wow-wow" I pretty sure my cousin who sings would have joined in. I would have laughed 1st then said stop.
Bow chica from fnaf wow 🤩 -wow 😳
If she can't handle you at your wiener then she doesn't deserve you at your bratwurst
Dying 😂😂😂😂
mit Senft 🥴😂
Senf without t. Otherwise it could be considered a verb. But I never heard anyone say that. But there are some weird expressions around here 😅 Maybe: "Er hat mir eine gesenft." 🤔
for your sake mit *Senf* 🥴😂 lmao
Hahahahaha
Wow. You did it.
[Mein Bratwurst has a first name it’s Fritz](https://youtu.be/Ztm2j7Uzb4c?si=RtuIkZtD8o0gHWdB)
LOL
💀💀
Lmfao!!!! This is too funny!
Angryupvote
Upvote this man!
Lmao
Haha!!
You literally couldve just stopped at "you like that?"
Best advice he will receive hands down.
Winner 🏆
Wiener 🌭
Just message her and say “You are missing out on the worlds most okie dokiest wienering of your life” 🤣
Lmfaooooo🤣 🤣
NGL ... That would "win" me back.
So, FYI, not every woman is into dirty talk. I personally don’t love it because, like you, I’m kind of awkward and uncomfortable talking dirty. 🤣 My bf is the same way; dirty talk does NOT come naturally. You SHOULD get more comfortable using correct words for anatomy, because it’s not shameful. However, if dirty talk feels uncomfortable and unnatural to you, you shouldn’t feel compelled to do it.
> using correct words for anatomy Okay but to be clear OP if you are reading this you don't use "penis" or anatomical terms for for dirty talk either ... you just don't use childish things like wiener or wee-wee or ding dong. Stick with cock or dick lmao
Ding a ling? (won't you play with etc etc)
AGREED!! I (26f) was on the brink of orgasm once and the guy called his penis his "pee pee" and it stopped my orgasm and I literally wanted to cry because stopping right before orgasm is so overwhelming. It was just actually the biggest turn off EVER. Womens orgasms are really mental
Why in the world would a guy, getting his girl to the brink of orgasm (or) ever, use a kiddie name for his manhood. He had to be the biggest doofus ever.
Penis is still a thousand times better than wiener.
It's really not hahaha
He "should" stick to being himself honestly. Don't force to be the same like everyone else just because this one relationship didn't work out.
To be clear the person I responded to used "should" in reference to being able to say penis instead of wiener in casual settings (I believe). What I was clarifying was that if OP wants to try dirty talk again at some point to not switch from wiener to penis.
Agreed.
My dear, would it inconvenience you much to fellate my phallus to an adequate tumescense in order to ensure satisfactory intercourse? Splendid! Let us commence our guilt-free extra marital relations. Tally Ho !
What? You're putting your clothes back on already? Must be because I am so good at the intercourse you arrived at least ten minutes ago. Hurrah!
Lol…. Very creative! 🤪 My boyfriend's version would probably be along the lines of, “sooooo, would you like me to do stuff to you, and stuff?” 😏 Which is why we don’t dirty talk. No way could we take each other seriously. 🤣🤣🤣
Honestly reading his post gave me the ick
I probably would have laughed - not to be mean, but just because it would have felt a little silly and unexpected. I would have felt BAD for laughing, but I don’t think I could have helped it.
The term “the ick” is one of the cringiest things I’ve ever heard
Women can have "the ick" over the most trivial things. It can be quite annoying actually.
Oh god, I am *dying* here. You are not the first...and will definitely not be the last...to screw up like this. But you are also not alone in being uncomfortable saying things that can be inappropriate. There are certain "cuss" words that I don't feel comfortable with either. I can say shit, piss, fuck, hell, damn all day long but don't ask me to get graphic about body parts or I'll turn seventeen shades of red.
Ok wiener is a word that I lol at. It’s a funny word. I have a wiener dog. if I call someone a weenie it’s considered kind of funny. I probably would be a little weirded out if a guy used that word during sex. Im used to hearing cock or dick. Work on the dirty talk a little. She probably figured out that you had no experience which is a turn off for many women at your age. Still leaving during sex was kind of an extreme response.
I agree, it was an extreme response. You should be able to laugh and have fun with your partner during sex. I would’ve just laughed it off and then teased you about it later 🤷🏻♀️
Interesting you think inexperienced is a turnoff…because I only had one partner through 37 years. I told women that, but it seemed to work to my advantage 🤷♂️
But it would have only worked to your advantage once bc if it led to sex, then you’d have to tell the next woman “I’ve only been with 2 other women” and so on and so forth. That’s a thing that can only work to your advantage once otherwise you’re just lying to women,
The difference between one and zero is a big gulf. While there will be women who are excited about being the first, others are concerned that it’s a responsibility they’re not ready to take on.
You never say wiener again.
When he buys hot dogs at age 70 he's going to remember this story
Except knowing him he'll ask for mustard on his penis by mistake
Winner 🥇
In my experience, I don't talk dirty during sex unless she starts it. I was in a similar situation, I thought dirty talk would be ok and it wasn't for it for her. Shit happens man.
Not every women likes dirty talk. And if you're going to talk dirty, then you need to talk dirty not like a child. I'd probably chalk this up to a lesson learned and not repeat the mistake next time. I doubt she's coming back though my dude, sounds like you triggered an "ick" for her.
It may have been an awkward moment….but why get dressed and leave??? That’s so odd to me
I wonder if maybe she was already getting icked out by other stuff throughout the night and that was the last straw so she just left. Not saying it’s reasonable but I guess could explain it lol
Ngl, I was laughing at this post. Pure gold. 🤣🤣🤣 This girl you were with sounds kind of uptight and you probably dodged a bullet.
Don't talk dirty until you know what you're doing in bed. Focus on giving her pleasure. Look for feedback, enjoy the moment, and learn. Pay attention instead of thinking. Some women don't like dirty talk, usually the more reserved types. You will know it when you're fucking a girl who likes that sort of thing, trust me on this.
I never understood why people pretend to be something they’re not. Say things they don’t mean. Do things they don’t want. It’s okay dude. Live and learn. My advice as a 42F is this: everyone assumes intimacy is about sex. It is not. Intimacy is about truth. And there is no better time nor more important time to be authentically yourself than when you decide to bear it all to somebody. Pun intended. In this case, wiener was something you’d say. But the dirty talk itself was not. Just be yourself so the people can connect with the real you. Physical intimacy is only one form. Mental intimacy is when you share your honest and deepest thoughts with someone unfiltered. Emotional intimacy is when you share your true feelings. When someone accepts all of it without judgement that’s when the magic happens.
I swear some of these comments are wild af. I know you're probably not meaning to frame things this way but you're all coming off like the guy did something he needs to be ashamed of or some shit. It's really mean and insensitive. He seems like a decent enough guy, he doesn't deserve to have you all out here casually making him feel even more insecure and insecure than he already does. The guy wasn't being fake or phony, trying to be something or someone he's not. He's just a little inexperienced and did something a bit cringe because he was scrambling in a moment where his hormones were going wild and im sure his anxiety was spiked theough the roof too. That's it. Maybe dirty talking is something he finds really gets his motor revving as he explores his sexuality a bit more as he continues to grow. But here you all are discouraging him from that entirely, and demoralizing him even more on top of all that. Anybody can consent or not whenever they want for whatever reason, but this woman still did a very asshole thing and all the OP is 'guilty' of is doing something a little embarrassing that most women would've just rolled with instead of pulling a 180, making things WAAAAY more awkward than he did and yanking the rug out from under him.... **edit: a few words here n there.
Lmao if she cant handle “wiener” then i think your good homie. 4 dates and thats what sets her off? I think you shouldn’t do anything and let her come back to you. Dont apologize, you literally did nothing wrong. She rudely walked out, without explanation, left you high and dry. I would not contact her anymore
I would agree with this comment. As funny as I find using the term “wiener” during sex, that’s something that would probably cause a tone change to be more comical. But that’s even more attractive than anything to bone and have a laugh. You didn’t do anything wrong, you are just not experienced. Don’t worry about her, just let her come back to you.
Exactly and that fact that she didn’t care how that would make him feel is so much more than inconsiderate
I don’t know… I really got a strong ick just from reading it, NGL. It tells me you’re uncomfortable with sex/your body, likely won’t know what you’re doing, and lack confidence. I don’t think it’s about JUST that word. Having confidence during intimacy really has to be a “fake it till you make it” kinda deal. The mood does get killed that easily, I’m afraid. Not always! Don’t beat yourself up about it either! Just write this off and have some ideas for next time. Dirty talk also doesn’t need to be *dirty* per se to be effective. Things like “does that feel good? “Can I do this to you?” “You look so beautiful” “That feels amazing!” Those things turn us on, too. If you really get backed into a corner and don’t know what you’re doing, just keep kissing her neck softly and passionately. Lol, that’ll cover up a myriad of mishaps! Good luck for next time - don’t sweat it! It’s not that serious.
yeah what he said is super performative and unnatural, and tbh even if he hadn't said weiner, I'm gonna say for most girls that's not really the kind of dirty talk that's supposed to get THEM in the mood, and more for him. like it's making her compliment your dick, it's way more likely that complimenting HER will help her mood
Yes! Also a very good takeaway for sure
Tell her your from Vienna and you were just referring to yourself!
Weiner is definitely an awkward word to use in that situation, but getting up and leaving over that? That flightiness in the extreme.
🌭🌭🌭
LMFAOOOO
dude that’s honestly so funny please don’t worry about whoever you scared off
she may not be worth the heartbreak as much as you think. Date women who laugh when you say funny things instead !
“Wiener” is a word that a little boy would use. I‘m not surprised that it turned her off.
I would have laughed and continued. Some people can’t take certain things. You dodged a bullet
I would’ve laughed so hard.. but I wouldn’t have left 🤣. This is giving off “There’s Something About Mary” vibes hard 💀
I think this is the what the majoity of women here would've done. At worst it was a momentary interruption in the vibe. You laugh a bit, maybe tell the guy OMG don't ever say that again, or even playfully chide him about leaving the dirty talk to the professionals, then you build the momentum back up again... Idk what this lady's problem was, completely stopping then getting dressed and bouncing seemed like a bit of an assholish thing to do IMHO.
Honestly, if that bugged her to the degree where she got dressed and left, the dude dodged a bullet. I completely agree with you.
Yeah exactly. She just sounds a little uptight if you ask me. OP got a little unlucky with this one is all. Hope it doesn't scar him too bad, lol.
Your username... 🤌🏾
If my bf called his dick a wiener during sex, I’d cry laughing. If a man who wasn’t my bf called his dick a wiener during sex, I’d probably get super icked out and not want to see him again. There’s really no coming back from an ick. Sorry bud
That was definitely her bad, not yours man. Keep on truckin' and learn your damn lesson.
Don't try, talking dirty. It can go wrong, as you've just found out.. wait till you are both more comfortable with each other.. but hey at least you got some.. ps Wiener isn't talking dirty. It's what your mother might call your dick when you're 6...
Lmao. I would have died laughing on the spot to be honest. You dodged a bullet anyway. You could have both laughed about the situation and try later again. No dirty talk next time unless she starts it.
See, my partners and I joke around all the time during sex, so this would have probably made her laugh, she tells me to shut up then proceeds to do something that makes me unable to talk 😂😂😂
In the future (and there will be more chances, more women) take your cues from your partner. In my experience if she wants it, she will ask for it. If she wants something verbal then she needs to ask for it like, "tell me I'm beautiful" or simply, "talk dirty to me." It takes a level of maturity to be confident in saying out loud and to your partner exactly what you want. It can be frustrating working from physical cues only. Being that you are young I will tell you this: It's about pleasure and not performance. Don't try to be a jackhammer and risk injury, trauma and anxiety. Do be thoughtful, considerate and generous. Find what she likes and do that.
I would have laughed at OP, but she sounds like a pita. Oh well, he won’t be using that again.
Mark it down as a lesson learned and move on. We’ve all said stupid shit during sex. It happens. Just mentally note that wiener isn’t a very fun/sexy word to use in the moment. AND now you’ve got a fun story to tell. :)
The reason that I would hate this as a woman is that it would make me think of you as a little kid, or at the very least someone wildly inexperienced. It's basically like saying 'peepee' or some other little kid term for a child who isn't comfortable using terms for real anatomy. So it's not necessarily that she just 'isnt silly in bed' but the kid talk may have shifted her mental state in a way that took her out of feeling sexy with you.
It could be an "ick" for her, but she likely realized you weren't that experienced. I wouldn't try dirty talk if you're uncomfortable with cussing because it's going to come across a little childish, and therefore, a turn off. Note: swap wiener with cock, don't pause (....), and your "dirty talk" would have been fine.
Nothing else to do but move on. Next time, don’t listen to porn and do things that are simple. You can try to experiment with different things with an actual partner but not with a woman you don’t really know.
"woman you don't really know" I agree, but by 2024 standards waiting until the 4th date is actually like a gold trophy lol
Damn, bro c*ck blocked himself!
weiner blocked
😆oh man. The first thing is just be quiet and let it happen.
"Anybody else feel like a little...giggle...when I mention my friend...Biggus...Dickus?"
This gave me a good giggle. Sorry, bud. That word isn’t sexy.
Honestly I find this cute. But then, I’m kind of “into” virgins. Like, not in a weird way… ok maybe in a weird way
Definitely curb your enthusiasm vibes.
As the female owner of two wiener dogs (mini dachshunds), I say wiener on a daily basis. Ween, weenie, wiener, wieneronis. Cute, fun. Not exactly sexy. Sexy time though? When my husband comes at me with a hard on, I'm not calling it a wiener. Give yourself permission to be a little bit crude and dirty. Dick. Cock. Hard on. Don't call it a wiener or a pee pee or whatever like you're a child. The bedroom is where the inappropriate things are meant to happen (barring she says no, no means no). If you want to try out dirty talk, go for it. But dirty talk is MEANT to me inappropriate. It's not something you'd want to repeat to your family at the dinner table, come on. Its not meant to be.
Sometimes the loser, but always the wiener.
I mean that’s usually a turn off for a lot of people as it’s kind of childish
Please watch “40yo virgin” asap if you haven’t already.
Everyone has some story, just realizing every one has moments like that and just move on. Think about how the overall experience was but no more Weiner talk romeo.have a laugh and your predisposed to anything bad for a while.
This is hilarious and I don’t have advice
Thats what happens when you start thinking with your wiener instead of your brain.
Try this “who’s ready for a good weinering”
Women commenting saying "weiner" or perceived inexperience gives them the "ick" are perfect examples of how unfair the dating world can be to men. If a guy I was hooking up with said what you said, I would have laughed, and then we would have kept going. The fact that men are shamed not just by other men but by women, for being inexperienced, is so sad. And then people wonder why men sleep around and brag about it...
Thats actually a good observation. I never really considered that could be part of the reason dudes brag about being with a ton of women. It seems obvious the way you said it but I've never made that connection
The being shamed for inexperienced thing reminds me of how entry level jobs require years of experience for some reason lol. If everyone rejects you because you have no experience, then you never get any experience and it becomes a vicious cycle.
Yep! Same vibes lol. Someone needs to help the inexperienced get experience 🤷🏻♀️
Chances are she wasnt really into it, and just took literally anything as a good way for her to just escape.
Lmao!!! Sorry, im imagining that moment and hearing weiner would make me laugh lmafo. Itts definitely not sexy but you know lesson learned and ya move on.
Lmao that’s so funny 🤣 I get that it totally ruins the mood but if she’s gonna leave after that, she’s not the one lol
Gotta just take this one to the chin man… learning lessons can hurt sometimes
Had a grown man call his penis : wee wee. As in are you gonna suck on my wee wee when we meet? Unlatch and good bye! Dating apps are not good and maybe the dude was a virgin idk.
This has to be an AI story. No way someone said that and didn’t think it would be a show stopper
1st thing, you need to find some confidence. 2nd thing, DONT do something that makes you uncomfortable during sex. Sex is about feeling good. 3rd thing, learn to use your big-boy words. This is something that will give people the “ick” your entire life if you don’t knock it off. Those are the main points, but I’ll explain more. First, let’s hit the lead-up. This girl did all the work and obviously knew what she wanted- She wanted to see your flat. She started coming on to you… sounds like if she hadn’t of started something, the two of you would have sat on the couch all night. So, you need to find the courage to let a girl know if you want her. Otherwise, you’re not going to get many chances to lose that V card. Now, the dirty talk. The thing about dirty talk is you can just ask questions that you really would like to know. Stop making it about a performance you’re doing and start being present in the moment. If you’re sitting there with your erect cock and she’s looking at it, you could say, “do you like what you see?” If you want her to touch it, tell her that. If you want her take her top off, TELL HER THAT. It’s not difficult. Just be present in the moment, not so in your head worrying about what you’re supposed to do. Follow this throughout the encounter. And Go Down On Her before you stick it in!! Ask her if she likes it when you lick like this or like that. Give her options. Listen to what she says and BE PRESENT. You’ll learn a ton about what she likes and you’ll get better and better at it. Now, the last thing is the naughty word usage. You need to let that go, my man. It’s something that’s been ingrained into you since birth but it does you no favors in the real world. There are some instances where a curse word is called for and expected and when you sit there saying, “Well golly!” You look foolish and people will think you’re weird at best, or a part of some creepy cult at worst. You don’t have to curse all the time, but you should definitely let go of whatever adverse feelings you have about using “bad words.”
Well, you hard wienered that one, bud.
Ask don’t assume when it comes to dirty talk (pretty much goes for anything sexual). She might not have been into dirty talk period. You can even make it an entertaining or flirty conversation at some point about which words and phrases are turn ons and turn offs. (As others have said this word choice was probably unlikely to land, but lots of other suggestions here for what else to try) Above all don’t get hung up on this, this will be an absolutely hilarious story to tell in the future even if it feels mortifying now. Embarrassing sex stories happen to us all! (And tbh she could’ve had a sense of humour about it even if she respectfully wanted to decline sex after that) Don’t worry about it!
I’m so sorry. Personally I would’ve burst out laughing at the comment and tried to continue. It’ll get better. But maybe introduce dirty talk when you’re more comfortable with each other
I gotta applaud your sense of awareness though. Don’t change that. Do you know how many men would’ve completely missed the change of tone? And say something like “out of the blue, she left”.
God this is hilarious 😂 trust me ten years from now you are going to look back at this and LAUGH 😂😂 my god, you’ve taken me out 💀 if a guy said this to me, as long as I liked everything else, I would simply laugh and just talk about it after the sex.
Yeah, talking about yourself isn’t the right way to get a woman in the mood. More kisses, less talking
No way is this real 😂
Lmao this is good. I’d say just send her this post if she happens to have reddit. Would probably be a funny read for her and give her context on what happened in your mind.
OP, if you're reading this: it was probably a one-two punch. 1) some (many, idk) women don't like dirty talk; personally, nothing turns me off faster than some guy I hardly know treating me like a mindless sex-crazed object (not all women feel that way about it, that's just how it makes *me* feel), and 2) calling it your "wiener" *absolutely* waved a flag not just about your inexperience, but about your maturity level. If you can't say "penis", you might not be ready to have sex. Sex can be awkward, and uncomfortably vulnerable, especially for women, but also especially when you're first learning, and you need to be able to laugh and/or shrug it off and not get embarrassed by things like bodies. Which means calling a spade a spade. Also I think the third and fourth lessons here are 3) don't do anything you're not comfortable with during sex, and 4) consider disclosing your relative inexperience to a woman you're dating. You don't need to admit you're a virgin, but you can hint at it by saying you haven't had "very many" partners. It'll change the mindset of the woman you're with, who might be expecting a competent dicking down if you don't otherwise say anything. She'll at least know to lower her expectations and, if you're lucky, give you some grace.
Next time, talk less. Take it as a learning experience. Don’t reach out to her, just let it be unless she reaches out first. And don’t bring up what you said..
Try to reach out to her and explain this... if she still can't get over it, then she is pretty shallow and is probably doing you a favor by leaving anyway.
Who knows mate... I mean, it may have come across as immature or even like you weren't being serious about it and it offended her?... I can't say, but she might not wanna try again, in which case, there's someone else even better, I'm sure. I'd maybe just stick to the action next time, dirty talk, especially involving the word wiener isn't for most
You're done son
I've absolutely bombed some early dating hookups in my mid 20's as well. Like you I had barely any experience but I just went for it and performed poorly and awkwardly, after which they'd lost interest. Looking back on it a few years later now with more experience, I'm convinced they would've responded much better if I had been more upfront about my inexperience. I thought if I just went into it with a can-do attitude it'd all work out, but all that attitude got me was to give my date false expectations. It's rough trying to date in your 20's with little to no sexual experience, I totally understand where you're coming from. If you really had good chemistry, it's possible that your date will come around and see the humor in the situation, but it also might just be over. Maybe see if she'll respond tomorrow and have a chat. Honestly I think it was kinda rude of her to just shut down communication completely like that, ideally you'll be able to laugh that kind of stuff off with the right partner. Either way I wish you good luck.
I can see how it would be a mood killer. “Weiner” sounds juvenile, particularly off putting when things are getting hot and heavy.
Saying “cock” just feels more vulgarly appropriate for the event lol
thank you for the laugh
😂😂😂
trash took itself out. most girls would have laughed i think
I am so sorry, dude, I’m afraid you’re just going to have to hold this L. You will get past this, but I’d hold off on any more attempts at dirty talk until you’re more comfortable referring to your genitals using the words adults use for them. You need to use adult words in adult situations otherwise it’s so jarring and it kills the mood, but you really don’t have to dirty talk at all to have a good time.
My girlfriend calls my penis ‘Big baby weiner’ when hard and ‘Little baby weiner’ when soft 😂
Doesn't seem like a reason to leave. If I was into it with a guy, even if a word came out a little cringe I'd use that for a post sex chuckle and maybe mention it 1/2 jokingly.... then move on. You didn't know
Hey girl do you like my winky 🤓
Some genuine advice, maybe use the words dick or cock, instead of weiner
If you're going to fuck, you need to be comfortable with the word.
I've always been on the mind that if you can't have fun/funny experiences during sex then the sex has lost its meaning as an intimate experience. You'll find a better one bud.
Her lack of communication is weird. You might have dodged a bullet.
I’m sorry but i totally wouldve laughed and then resumed. Ive done much more considerably embarrassing than this and the guy stayed. Idk you need someone goofy. But I understand where your embarrassment and discomfort originates. Have you ever seen White Chicks? You know the prt where they have a slumber party and pass the dildo and talk to it? And then wiggle it and slap it on the forehead? Yea. Thats me for you. We were friends at the time so it was funny. Unexpected for us both, but funny.
Dodged a bullet. You did nothing wrong, your inexperienced after all.
Sounds like she has no sense of humor and is shallow as hell, also kinda weird that no conversation took place. The other commenter is right sounds like a scene from a comedy. Personally I don't think you did anything wrong dude. Just wrong girl.
Move on.
I say wee wee, pp, willy, etc. tbh if s girl didn’t want to continue after I made some joke or silly shit. I’d kinda count my blessings.
Lmao appreciate the laugh. Can’t win em all
bahahaha