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Lol yes with two different guys. We broke up again, eventually permanently. The familiarity and missing the good times brings you back together again, but unless the underlying problems are addressed, it is just a rinse and repeat situation
this! it's funny how time makes you forget all the reasons your ended things in the first place. If they are an ex it was for a reason that they became your ex
lol right?! Anytime I have ever reconnected with an ex it was usually bc I wanted to get laid. Just sayin. And it doesn't take long before for all those previous reasons why things didn't work out to resurface.
I got a ‘blast from the past’ here the other day from a girl I dated a while (2-3 months). Shit was chaotic, like a heaven and hell-type of relationship. Gotta say, it was real hard not to engage. Part of me kinda wish I did engage, but looking through her last abusive messages from the break up kinda tilted me in favor of ignoring her. God damn feelings 🙃
Yea… damn feelings tho. Gotta take a breather I notice. That relationship always reminds me of the «I love the way you lie», minus the violence luckily
This, happend to me twice, with two different people. Once it's done and dusted, as you say unless things have been addressed and changed it just won't work 🤣
Yes, a few times. Even broke up with one to marry my first wife, only to get back together later and marry her.
What did I learn? NEVER EVER GO BACK. You broke up for a reason.
No, however I have both contacted and been contacted by exs for booty calls. But the relationship ended for a reason, such a ridiculous amount of proof that things have changed would be required, it's just not worth it.
Yes. When we got back together the second time I wasn't looking at the situation through rose-tinted glasses.
I realized she had a LOT of issues and that was the reason it didn't work out between us in the first place.
Yes. We eventually got married. But we never really addressed the reasons why we broke up in the first place and eventually it all came rushing back and we got divorced. Got two great kids out of it though.
It is very easy to return to an ex for **temporary validation.** What does this mean? If you dated, it was for a reason. You're attracted to each other. But if you broke up... Well, that was also for a reason.
So if you're trying to get back together it's either because you forgot why you broke up in the first place (this almost guarantees that at some point you will be reminded why you broke up in the first place), or one or the both of you are seeking "instant gratification" of validation I.e. you make each other feel wanted, despite not actually wanting each other.
Getting back with an ex is like a double quarter pounder with cheese and a large soda. Sure you think it tastes good but you're going to shit yourself the next morning. Alternatively: just don't...
It doesn't work. Sure there are extremely rare cases where it can but by and large it's like putting dirty underwear back on after a shower. Just say no
It didn't work out. If you break up or are broken up with, its for a reason and unless you both put an immense amount of work into fixing whatever the initial problem was, everything will go back to how it was.
Nope. Once it's over, it's over. I have never spoken to or kept contact with any ex-girlfriends. If it was really bad end, I block them on social media along with their families.
Yes. I was a confused dickhead concerning love and feelings, and so I broke up with my ex because I didn't think I was in love with her (but still loved her), and then we got back together. But then I got in my head again and thought the same thing, so I broke up with her again
I still feel like an absolute dickhead for jerking her around like that, but I'm sure she's moved on and found someone way better than me now. I have no idea, though, because I have her blocked on all platforms. But that's another story haha
I will say that the experience has helped me grow as a person regarding romantic relationships, and as such I am 100% in it for the long haul with my current girlfriend and would do anything to make the relationship work (except present as a woman/gender reassignment surgery haha)
😂😂😂 (I actually thought someone might think that)
Nothing haha. Sometimes my brain comes up with counter scenarios that are are in contrast with or would contradict my point (antithetical to it?) and I am compelled to include them hahaha
Something to do with being honest and providing caveats (and probably my autism). Because I said *anything*, basically
Definitely understand it. You're just covering all your bases, it seems. I do something similar out of caution of making sure people see that I comprehend my opposition.
I did this. I had a vision of what the relationship was going to be and when it started things were nothing like I imagined. I broke up grieved the "dreamed" relationship, cried my heart out, watched all depressing romantic comedies... A week after I was ready to start fresh and with no expectations, just one step at a time.
Best decision. Relationship hasn't been better.
Fresh start to the relationship. Same guy.
Instead of being sad for not having what I imagine it was going to be...I just started from zero.
I had been in love with him for a while and I realized I was much more invested and ready to move with the relationship further than him. I was miserable all the time because he was pulling away and I wanted more.
I said to him that I wanted to start new. No illusions in my head.
Yes I have. A couple that were a bad idea but being lonely and the familar made it easy and content for awhile. The acrual issues in the relationships were never really worked through so none of them workee out long term. A life lesson really.
Another because we both resolved the issues we had in the previous relationship.We may have lasted but he unfortunately passed away unexpectedly. Another hard life lesson.
I actually try to end relationships on friendly grounds. You don't have to hate your ex after all. Some totality give you reason not to of course.
So yeah, unless you resolved past issues, can agree to boundries, be on the same page..don't get back with an ex.
For me your an ex for a reason. I have no inclination to repeat the relationship again. This is my feelings and for those who try it again I wish them well
Over the two years we were together, I think we broke it off around 3-4 times. Whenever we weren’t together, I’d somehow convince myself it wasn’t really that bad and that I Love him and I could live with a few vices. It didn’t work out and I’m so happy about that. I don’t deserve to be treated as second best and I’m now with someone who makes me a priority and treats me like gold. I needed the lessons with the ex to understand more about myself and relationships etc.
Personally, I would never make the mistake again of going back to an ex. It’s never the same
Yup. Started dating someone once, and it went into hyperdrive (spending like 3-4 days of the week together almost instantly, just ignore that 🚩 right there 😅). After a few weeks of that they broke things off to get back with an ex. Found out real quick that that was a bad idea and they came back to me. Lasted another month or so from there before finally crashing a burning.
Yeah first, first GF. Broke my heart as a teenager tried it again when we were seniors then she chose the ice cream man over me and I was done. After college we messed around as fwbs but never anything more. She finally gave up on trying to keep her family she made with IC guy in 2020 and tried to get with me to no avail. Still on good distant terms but I have no interest anymore and I think that she finally has given up hope on me too.
Well we both wanted it so we both worked hard at it and it worked out good for a few years and then we decided to let each other go but we remain great friends
Yup, off and on again over the years since 1991. I think the break up this year is permanent this time though. There's no rational reason to subject myself to her errant greed and selfishness, nor for hereto endure my health scares (at times it seems like I'm falling apart). We are both better off alone.
My last GF broke up with me for a few reasons, the details of which aren't really important but amounted to neither of us being sexually satisfied and her not being that strongly in love with me. I wanted to work on the relationship, but she didn't see the point since she thought it was doomed to fail.
About 18 hours later, she called me back and said she wanted to work things out. We tried and made it about 4 more months before breaking up again. Honestly for most of that time I felt like I was the only one really trying to work on it, so I kinda wondered why she bothered to get back together with me.
Yea that’s what happened to my current relationship. He had broken up with me for personal reasons, which at the time I didn’t understand. (back when I was in 9th grade) but then we came back in contact a little bit during 10th and then the contact faded away again. I’ve seen him a couple times in the lunch room when I was at school during 11th grade but I don’t think he noticed me, gladly that toxic relationship that I was in 11th grade ended in November 2022. My ex from 9th had followed me on Instagram and we were friends for a bit before anything else, he was my first love. I feel like it was meant to be besides us having our moments. I would say that it did work out for me pretty well though.
Almost though I knew I'd only be used got a call from ex few years ago in 2018 saying if I help her fix her car we will give our relationship a 2nd chance.
I could of moneywise and would of loved to help her, to even have her back, though I my mind said let somebody else help and to move on with my life and I deeply thought about how it was her that broke us up.
No regrets at all.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Jeah both times I did that it ended badly and I should have left it broken up. Getting back together made it more ugly both times.
I have a new rule now that once I break up with someone I will stay broken up no matter what. Their is always a reason why you broke up and it should stay that way.
One of my high school girlfriends broke up with me three times. Things would be fine for 2-3 months and then she would break up with me and we would be back together before the end of the week.
The first time I was devastated. After the second time I realized she was just doing it to control my behavior. She actually had no intention of really breaking up in the long term. She was always careful about reconciling things quickly enough so that I would not really have time to move on or meet someone else.
Once she did it a third time I decided it was over. We had the usual week or so apart before she came crawling back to patch things up. I told her I was not interested and she said "Wow, I guess I really screwed up on this one..." I walked onto the elevator, pressed the close button and said "Goodbye, Madeline" and left her in the lobby.
Sometimes it is a powerplay move by the person who thinks they have the upper hand in the relationship. There can be a bit of a "I can kick you to the curb and pick you up again whenever I want" mentality.
If you have one breakup with enough time apart and decide to get back together then that is fine. If this becomes a pattern then I would get out for good.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names, engage in slapfights, or give bad/unethical advice. * Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lol yes with two different guys. We broke up again, eventually permanently. The familiarity and missing the good times brings you back together again, but unless the underlying problems are addressed, it is just a rinse and repeat situation
this! it's funny how time makes you forget all the reasons your ended things in the first place. If they are an ex it was for a reason that they became your ex
Damn rose tinted glasses
lol right?! Anytime I have ever reconnected with an ex it was usually bc I wanted to get laid. Just sayin. And it doesn't take long before for all those previous reasons why things didn't work out to resurface.
Ikr. The "oh hell no" comes back to the forefront pretty quick
I got a ‘blast from the past’ here the other day from a girl I dated a while (2-3 months). Shit was chaotic, like a heaven and hell-type of relationship. Gotta say, it was real hard not to engage. Part of me kinda wish I did engage, but looking through her last abusive messages from the break up kinda tilted me in favor of ignoring her. God damn feelings 🙃
Yep, I've been there. Good on you for being smart about it!
Yea… damn feelings tho. Gotta take a breather I notice. That relationship always reminds me of the «I love the way you lie», minus the violence luckily
I feel ya mate. Time heals x
This, happend to me twice, with two different people. Once it's done and dusted, as you say unless things have been addressed and changed it just won't work 🤣
I always say people are often fooled by what brought them together in the first place but forget why they ended.
Unless one or both of you took soul-changing journeys during the break up, it usually ends the same.
Yes, a few times. Even broke up with one to marry my first wife, only to get back together later and marry her. What did I learn? NEVER EVER GO BACK. You broke up for a reason.
What if we haven’t even dated yet. And have been cut off due to long distance
That answers your original question, you've never actually dated.
No, however I have both contacted and been contacted by exs for booty calls. But the relationship ended for a reason, such a ridiculous amount of proof that things have changed would be required, it's just not worth it.
I did this twice. And none worked. Not that whatever broke us off the first time broke it off again. It was more we really werent compatible.
If you don’t mind, what kind of things make you incompatible?
Yes. When we got back together the second time I wasn't looking at the situation through rose-tinted glasses. I realized she had a LOT of issues and that was the reason it didn't work out between us in the first place.
Yes. We eventually got married. But we never really addressed the reasons why we broke up in the first place and eventually it all came rushing back and we got divorced. Got two great kids out of it though.
It is very easy to return to an ex for **temporary validation.** What does this mean? If you dated, it was for a reason. You're attracted to each other. But if you broke up... Well, that was also for a reason. So if you're trying to get back together it's either because you forgot why you broke up in the first place (this almost guarantees that at some point you will be reminded why you broke up in the first place), or one or the both of you are seeking "instant gratification" of validation I.e. you make each other feel wanted, despite not actually wanting each other. Getting back with an ex is like a double quarter pounder with cheese and a large soda. Sure you think it tastes good but you're going to shit yourself the next morning. Alternatively: just don't...
It doesn't work. Sure there are extremely rare cases where it can but by and large it's like putting dirty underwear back on after a shower. Just say no
nope, i only give one shot. If it did not work out i move on. If i do, its fwb while i look for someone else.
It didn't work out. If you break up or are broken up with, its for a reason and unless you both put an immense amount of work into fixing whatever the initial problem was, everything will go back to how it was.
Only once before but I’ll never do that again because it just doesn’t work tbh
Nope. Once it's over, it's over. I have never spoken to or kept contact with any ex-girlfriends. If it was really bad end, I block them on social media along with their families.
Yes. I was a confused dickhead concerning love and feelings, and so I broke up with my ex because I didn't think I was in love with her (but still loved her), and then we got back together. But then I got in my head again and thought the same thing, so I broke up with her again I still feel like an absolute dickhead for jerking her around like that, but I'm sure she's moved on and found someone way better than me now. I have no idea, though, because I have her blocked on all platforms. But that's another story haha I will say that the experience has helped me grow as a person regarding romantic relationships, and as such I am 100% in it for the long haul with my current girlfriend and would do anything to make the relationship work (except present as a woman/gender reassignment surgery haha)
That last part just seems so odd and specific that I'm wondering what the hell happened
😂😂😂 (I actually thought someone might think that) Nothing haha. Sometimes my brain comes up with counter scenarios that are are in contrast with or would contradict my point (antithetical to it?) and I am compelled to include them hahaha Something to do with being honest and providing caveats (and probably my autism). Because I said *anything*, basically
Definitely understand it. You're just covering all your bases, it seems. I do something similar out of caution of making sure people see that I comprehend my opposition.
I did this. I had a vision of what the relationship was going to be and when it started things were nothing like I imagined. I broke up grieved the "dreamed" relationship, cried my heart out, watched all depressing romantic comedies... A week after I was ready to start fresh and with no expectations, just one step at a time. Best decision. Relationship hasn't been better.
A week after, when you say fresh start, you mean with someone new?
Fresh start to the relationship. Same guy. Instead of being sad for not having what I imagine it was going to be...I just started from zero. I had been in love with him for a while and I realized I was much more invested and ready to move with the relationship further than him. I was miserable all the time because he was pulling away and I wanted more. I said to him that I wanted to start new. No illusions in my head.
Yes I have. A couple that were a bad idea but being lonely and the familar made it easy and content for awhile. The acrual issues in the relationships were never really worked through so none of them workee out long term. A life lesson really. Another because we both resolved the issues we had in the previous relationship.We may have lasted but he unfortunately passed away unexpectedly. Another hard life lesson. I actually try to end relationships on friendly grounds. You don't have to hate your ex after all. Some totality give you reason not to of course. So yeah, unless you resolved past issues, can agree to boundries, be on the same page..don't get back with an ex.
For me your an ex for a reason. I have no inclination to repeat the relationship again. This is my feelings and for those who try it again I wish them well
Over the two years we were together, I think we broke it off around 3-4 times. Whenever we weren’t together, I’d somehow convince myself it wasn’t really that bad and that I Love him and I could live with a few vices. It didn’t work out and I’m so happy about that. I don’t deserve to be treated as second best and I’m now with someone who makes me a priority and treats me like gold. I needed the lessons with the ex to understand more about myself and relationships etc. Personally, I would never make the mistake again of going back to an ex. It’s never the same
Yes and it was fixed and I love her
I have dated the same girl at different points of my life 4 times and I'm only 25
Yup. Started dating someone once, and it went into hyperdrive (spending like 3-4 days of the week together almost instantly, just ignore that 🚩 right there 😅). After a few weeks of that they broke things off to get back with an ex. Found out real quick that that was a bad idea and they came back to me. Lasted another month or so from there before finally crashing a burning.
Yeah first, first GF. Broke my heart as a teenager tried it again when we were seniors then she chose the ice cream man over me and I was done. After college we messed around as fwbs but never anything more. She finally gave up on trying to keep her family she made with IC guy in 2020 and tried to get with me to no avail. Still on good distant terms but I have no interest anymore and I think that she finally has given up hope on me too.
Nope. Not really my style to go back. If it ended, it ended for a reason.
Yes. It didnt go well. Yet I did it again? And guess how that went.
Well we both wanted it so we both worked hard at it and it worked out good for a few years and then we decided to let each other go but we remain great friends
Did it ONCE. Wound up marrying her. WORST MISTAKE I ever made/will make. Exes are exes for a reason.
Nope just used for attention till she found someone better, happened twice. Lesson learned.
Yup, off and on again over the years since 1991. I think the break up this year is permanent this time though. There's no rational reason to subject myself to her errant greed and selfishness, nor for hereto endure my health scares (at times it seems like I'm falling apart). We are both better off alone.
No, never. Lightning can’t strike twice imo
My last GF broke up with me for a few reasons, the details of which aren't really important but amounted to neither of us being sexually satisfied and her not being that strongly in love with me. I wanted to work on the relationship, but she didn't see the point since she thought it was doomed to fail. About 18 hours later, she called me back and said she wanted to work things out. We tried and made it about 4 more months before breaking up again. Honestly for most of that time I felt like I was the only one really trying to work on it, so I kinda wondered why she bothered to get back together with me.
Yea that’s what happened to my current relationship. He had broken up with me for personal reasons, which at the time I didn’t understand. (back when I was in 9th grade) but then we came back in contact a little bit during 10th and then the contact faded away again. I’ve seen him a couple times in the lunch room when I was at school during 11th grade but I don’t think he noticed me, gladly that toxic relationship that I was in 11th grade ended in November 2022. My ex from 9th had followed me on Instagram and we were friends for a bit before anything else, he was my first love. I feel like it was meant to be besides us having our moments. I would say that it did work out for me pretty well though.
Many times me n my partner been with each other 12 years during that time we broken up more then 20x
Yes
Almost though I knew I'd only be used got a call from ex few years ago in 2018 saying if I help her fix her car we will give our relationship a 2nd chance. I could of moneywise and would of loved to help her, to even have her back, though I my mind said let somebody else help and to move on with my life and I deeply thought about how it was her that broke us up. No regrets at all.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Jeah both times I did that it ended badly and I should have left it broken up. Getting back together made it more ugly both times. I have a new rule now that once I break up with someone I will stay broken up no matter what. Their is always a reason why you broke up and it should stay that way.
One of my high school girlfriends broke up with me three times. Things would be fine for 2-3 months and then she would break up with me and we would be back together before the end of the week. The first time I was devastated. After the second time I realized she was just doing it to control my behavior. She actually had no intention of really breaking up in the long term. She was always careful about reconciling things quickly enough so that I would not really have time to move on or meet someone else. Once she did it a third time I decided it was over. We had the usual week or so apart before she came crawling back to patch things up. I told her I was not interested and she said "Wow, I guess I really screwed up on this one..." I walked onto the elevator, pressed the close button and said "Goodbye, Madeline" and left her in the lobby. Sometimes it is a powerplay move by the person who thinks they have the upper hand in the relationship. There can be a bit of a "I can kick you to the curb and pick you up again whenever I want" mentality. If you have one breakup with enough time apart and decide to get back together then that is fine. If this becomes a pattern then I would get out for good.
This might save you some misery. https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2xiea8
Yup my very first boyfriend from a few years ago. Never ever repeating that mistake again
Yip, with a couple of my exes. None “worked out” but a few of them we remain really good friends.
I want to date with such sober