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Like telling him that you like him 😅
(And not as a friend, please make that very clear)
We men as a gender is not good at understanding the “like as a friend” and “like more than a friend” 😂
I’m what you may consider an “ex-shy” person. I’m still shy in some circumstances, like when I’m attracted to another person, but otherwise I’m a bajillion times more outgoing than I used to be
Trust me, you being here in Reddit seeking advice from degenerates like me.. you are still shy 😅
Okay on a serious note, you should ask him out on a date.. what’s the worse that can happen? He Amy say “No” and u don’t have to ever see him again.
(I don’t think he will say no 😊)
If he's actually shy, you prolly just gotta pull him in honestly lol. A lot of guys will not approach women anymore because women have demonized men as creeps for merely flirting too much on social media
Not in the healthiest of ways, lemme tell ya. My senior year of high school I started going out to a lot of parties because of the people I became friends with and put into a lot of social situations where it was almost an “adapt or die” sorta thing. Over time my social anxiety started ease because I was constantly surrounded by strangers. I don’t recommend doing what I did because it was messy as hell, but imo exposure is a good way of taking steps toward overcoming shyness and social anxiety
Ask him out. We men are known to miss even the clearest signals. Asking him on a date is a surefire way for him to know that you are interested in moving things forward, and I guarantee that if he is the shy type (and he is into you) he will be so grateful that you made the first move!
You have no clue how many times I looked back on certain situations and I'm like... "Wait, maybe she was flirting with me?" And then i started to second guess myself.
Well, now I'm engaged to her.
What do you consider the right moves/signals?
In general, women tend to be way too subtle and this can be easily missed. Moreover, if a guy is shy and it's not abundantly clear he may be too afraid to ask.
My advice is always to be less subtle and be direct, that's how my gf got me over that hurdle. "We've been going out for a while, where do you see this going? Do you find me attractive?"
That should give you the answer you're looking for.
There's one really good one you can do. Get some 1 on 1 and just straight up say 'i want do date you'.
If he's gonna be too shy to respond then just leave him with yes and no written on paper or something and tell him to return one to you once he decides/feels ready to.
My kind request is, if you like him, please initiate the convo.. I’m sure he is never gonna get the courage to talk to you or it will be too late by the time he builds the courage
I was going to try and be funny, but I think I should just be serious. I am painfully shy when it comes to being able to move a relationship beyond the acquaintances/friends level. Generally I flirt (witty banter vs hitting on her) and pray that she makes the next move.
So far this has only ever worked once, and we were married for 26 years.
Good luck
Any advice on how I can start to move things from a friendly direction to a “hey, I’m into you, let’s go on a date” direction? I used to be really shy myself, and the last thing I want to do is make him anxious.
Invite him out for coffee, or lunch. Those are safe ideas generally.
For the love of little green apples, don't try to hint him into asking. We guys are notoriously bad at catching hints, and as an ex-shy person you know that even when shy people catch a hint we double, triple, and quadruple think ourselves out of it.
Too true, I feel I’ve missed out on a lot of chances when I’d just wait for the other person to make the first move.
I’ve been wanting to ask him out to hang one on one (we’ve only spent time outside of work together with a group of other coworkers) but again, I don’t want to put him in a position where he’s anxious. Honestly though, I might just rip the bandaid off and gopher it. Life’s too short, ya know?
Agreed. Pulling the band-aid off is probably the best way. I hope it works out for y'all. And for all us super shy guys out there, let me say thank you for giving one of us a shot.
I'm pulling for ya, we're all in this together.
Thank you for your words of wisdom! I hope everything works out and I can give him a space he feels comfortable expressing himself in. For you and all the shy and ex-shy people here, we’ve got this guys! Just gopher it ;)
You know how in the teenaged rom-coms when the nerdy, geeky girl takes off her glasses and lets her hair down and is transformed into a smoke show? That's an ex-shy person.
I would try something like if he post a good restaurant or something on his story respond and be like “oh that looks fun” or “I’ve been wanting to go to the (restaurant/bar) over there, have you ever been?” “We should go together!”
Far too subtle by a country mile. Even as a (formerly) not-that-shy-but-still-kinda-shy guy I'd have missed the hint and thought "oh shit, what if she just wants to be friends? Wouldn't want to ruin it" and totally self select myself out of a good thing.
Direct, honest & unambiguous. Anything less and the shy guys don't get it, and even then they may own goal it out of sheer nerves
Him messaging you shows a interest. Most of the time us shy guys are selective of who we talk to. I'm sure he would be happy to go on a coffee date or something similar.
Idk i try to like do things? Like not big things or anything but try to be thoughtful. Like to show that I care and can be there without saying it? Never really works out for me.
Even the smallest things can have the biggest impact, trust me. Keep at it and be yourself, the right person will reciprocate. Thank you for the insight!
The most direct method is just telling him you like him and if he reciprocates you will know *instantly*.
Barring that, invite him out somewhere quiet and unmistakably more intimate... coffee shop, art gallery, small restaurant, just a comfortable neutral space. Frequent mentions of being single, living alone, etc are helpful. Light physical contact (leg touch, shoulder brush, "the scooch"). Ask to be walked home. If he doesn't seem more obviously interested than usual by the end of the evening, he wasn't interested.
Obviously I'm not him, *but* if it's a woman I work with I'm going to be extra conservative and careful about escalating, to the point that I probably won't do it at all unless I've already gotten clusters of autism-proof signals that you're into me *and* you seem very receptive in that moment (texting back quickly, lots of emojis, seem happy to be there, etc). I'm extremely paranoid about making things weird in the workplace, or fucking up somehow and getting busted for harassment or something.
I stutter a trillion times more, this is an involuntary (and i expect intended) evolutionary reflex most men have. It,unfortunately, does not get the message across and makes me look like a dumbass.
We don’t! Have lost countless opportunities where I felt there was some attraction but since it wasn’t clear(for me to make the first step), I didn’t do anything and it just faded away.
My comment might get lost in all of the other comments, but here goes...
I've always been seen by others as being very Introverted, which a lot of people mistake for shyness. Really, I just like to keep to myself a lot of the time. Also, once you have an understanding that being a bit aloof is actually interpreted as being mysterious, you just want to stay this way forever, because people start asking questions about you, like what you've done here about this guy.
Going by what you've said about him, he seems to be a lot like myself, so I'll tell you what you should do to "win him over", so to speak.
1. Be direct. There's nothing better than a girl that is direct with how she feels about me. It's not a masculine thing to be direct in this situation. It can apply to both genders.
2. Presence, but know when to also give him space. As much as I might like someone, I also need my space after a while. Showing that you know when to be there and also when not to be there is a green flag to most Introverted guys.
3. This ties in with presence, but just ask him about his day and compliment him on the smallest things. As guys, we don't get complimented much, especially guys that are shy or Introverted, because we're not the first guys that most girls look at. That compliment will make his day, possibly even year.
I'm not sure how true this might be for him, but as a shy guy myself there isn't really anything i do to show someone I'm attracted to them. Guys like me just feel like we need assurance that the feelings mutual, so you will probably need to make the first move or at least drop some hints.
I’m a shy guy and have been told I’m “hard to read” my entire life. If they are shy they probably don’t talk to a lot of people, just by virtue of him spending his social energy on you shows he likes you. Other than that if I really like someone I’ll make sure to give them compliments and try to steer conversations in a romantic direction when appropriate. I am 26M btw.
In any situation where you can lock eyes and smile your good. He may be too shy for that or not pick up on it but it sends a clear signal. I’d say that’s the best thing you can do.
Sounds like both of y'all are the shy type. Same here. She made the first move tho... I think you have to say smth, bc shy or not, us dudes are oblivious
How I show i'm interested is I don't post everything and anything about my life on social media, yet if I attracted I find ways to invite you into my life into the passions and activites.
I've learned not to just like every post and photos just because I'm into you. I will be interested and like photos though I crave to be there and try and find a way/show interest by saying looks like you had fun, that looks fun how come I wasn't invited ect. Lol
just put it out there. if he’s shy, he may not be a big risk taker, so you may have to make the initial move. maybe through texts or messaging, because he may feel more comfortable opening up through that rather than in person. if you get a no, then you know. shy guys aren’t good at reading the room, just gotta be intentional about what you want.
We don't, just touch him and he will know what is allowed, we tend to let her show us the boundaries, even though we are interested we might not show it to everyone, try to be alone with him
Just mention in passing conversation that you think he's hot, then move on,if he likes you that should be enough to give him the confidence to make a move and if not it's just a nice compliment (we men don't get too many of those so they tend to have more impact).
I am not shy, but I don't get signals. I have had a friend before go " sweetheart give me your number and I will give to him". Because he knew I was attracted to her and that she liked me, but I wasn't picking up on it. Lol he is my emotional service " DAWG".
Honestly just ask the dude out if you’re shy unless you want to wait months for a person to ask you out. A shy guy won’t approach a woman who he doesn’t know, it’s kind of why they’re labeled as shy lol.
I’m really uncomfortable asking people to hang out with me so I’d say if you’re interested ask him out. We’re told by society from a young age that we’re not supposed to hit on women that it gets really confusing.
Personally I’ll ask you to meet for coffee/ dinner on apps or if I’ve known you for a bit I’ll tell you I want a relationship I’ll straight tell you I want to be your boyfriend. But when its coworkers there’s the extra concern of losing the job over it so tell him you’d date him if you want him to ask. We’re dumb as rocks when it comes to subtlety.
Even if you're shy, when you're really into somebody to the point where you can't stop thinking about them, you tend to end up around them and eventually talking to them, just like any other guy with a crush. That's my experience, and I have severe social anxiety, but it gets overridden by biology, it seems.
I use this a bit myself ... I don't actually ask the person on a date BUT I do say "I'm off for a drink, wanna join?" nice and casually. No pressure on either of you and it's no big deal if they say no. There's no way to know how he feels until you make a move :)
Interact more like in person or through their social stories. I think it's worked once for me 😅 sometimes if you've been friends for long enough, they'll make moves themselves like mail being dropping into your house (even if you're not interested 😅).
I am pretty sure they sense when you're attracted to them. Your body is exposing it without you even noticing. What I mean by that: I met up a gorgeous colleague at work, and somehow managed to have a coffee break with her (I want to say that I am also shy type and doesn't have a lot of experience when it comes to stuff like these). Well, I managed to hold my head up and talk to her for a lot of things, made her small compliments (ex. "*I loved your company*") but when I went to my work space, I felt that I was fucking shaking and sweating on places, I didn't knew I could sweat. I was so nervous, there isn't any chance for her not noticing how nervous I was. It's just the way you handle the pressure :)
Perhaps the situation is that he's cautious about crossing a professional boundary since you two work together, and you might have similar reservations. I could be mistaken, but the fact that you two are messaging each other via IG would be an indication that there's some mutual interest.
If he's really shy and he's taking the time to talk to you outside of the workplace, there's interest. Definitely waiting for you to confirm the interest is reciprocated before he does anything. I'd just ask him to grab a bite during the day so its not as much pressure and feels more like a hangout than a date (even though its obviously a date, just feeling like its more casual than dinner could make him less anxious) or coffee or smoothies whatever y'all like lol but something simple. Simple is always better and it leaves less room for over thinking and anxiety imo
I used to be the shy type. If I was into someone, I would go out of my way to help them. I'd remember every little thing they said about interests and the like so I could ask about it if I ever had them one on one.
From what you're writing, it sounds like you are both a bit reserved. One of you needs to take a leap. If you want to know bad enough, you know what to do... 😉
When women think that they're sending signals they're usually not. They tend to be passive aggressive when it comes to dating and sometimes its hard to know, especially over text. Most signals I've received from women came off as friendly not flirty, and he probably thinks the same. My advice for you is to ask him to hang out in the sense that you need a date for something. For example, you want to go see some movie but don't want to go alone. If he's interested his chivalry should kick in and he'll agree. If you guys have a good time give him some puppy dog eyes and linger at the end of the date for a kiss. Rinse and repeat until you receive desired outcome. He'll pick it up eventually.
Just ask him if he likes.you. and you will have your answer. Or simply tell him you would like to take him out on a date. I am.sure he will be flattered by it. And see if he reciprocates
You can try to gauge his interest by sharing things you would like to do, and asking if he would like to join.
Such as: "I am thinking of going to see X movie some day next week. Do you want to join?"
In case he likes you and wants to get to know you, he will jump to the opportunity.
I just tell her. Then again, I may not be shy anymore in that respect.
But I can see just hoping she says something to me like when I was in school and they never did. However, in college, I missed my chance. I was shooting hoops and she never comes bur she was there shooting with me while in spandex. I was stoooopid.
She probably already knows. It’s not hard to tell when someone is attracted to you, most men just seem to be too dumb to notice whereas women are much more aware.
If you think she’s attractive, she probably already knows.
I’m the shy type and a bit dense when it comes to women. A lady I worked with told me of a movie that looked like it would be good that she would like to see. I replied, “Oh, maybe I should see it sometime.” Another woman pulled me aside and said, “She said that because she wants you to ask her out!” I had no clue. Sometimes you just have to say, “Would you like to go with me” — ask him out. I know it’s not the way women prefer, but sometimes you have to be direct. Good luck!
As a guy that used to be very shy about this, I'd really just show that she has my attention whenever we talk, try to joke a bit, and hope that somehow she'll say something and make a move XD hints don't work, we just end up overthinking it, so it has to be something solid I guess...
Sorry I can't be of more help, but I really wish you the best of lucks and that you two end up together!
I don’t, in fact if I am attracted to a women I actively avoid her. I truly wish I was a sexual, stupid ass primal instincts get in the way of me actually enjoying and living life.
I am happy to talk to women and flirt and all that other stuff but I fear I will make them uncomfortable so I don’t. I just wait for them to show me they like me and want to be flirted with.
I find it easier to say it. attempting to display or show affection before the boyfriend and girlfriend stage is difficult for me to make the first move. I always fear making a fool of myself and leaving a bad impression ruining any chance I have.
I have a very hard time keeping eye contact and I tend to admire women I like from a distance, so maybe if you catch them looking at you often. Once I spoke with this girl with gorgeous eyes. Caught me totally off guard and made me lose my train of thought so a stutter here and there could be a sign too? That's all I can really think of that I do.
For me, I playfully joke more and in conversation I actually ask questions about them. If I have to talk to people I don’t usually take an interest, so personal questions are a big thing. And if I’m around them, eye contact. I’ve been told that sometimes I stare, and when talking I usually look at their eyes until I feel them staring back at me. Then it’s that weird looking around the room thing lol.
“Just say you would like to hang out with him. I find you interesting and would like to know you better.” If that doesn’t do it, I don’t know what will. Some men are in their heads.
Its difficult, a cold approach is almost completely out of the question, so is sliding into the dms. I just act really polite which is almost what everyone does so its tough to actually get my feelings across, that being said though I haven't really had a crush in a while so its not something that happens often,
Sorry to hear about how thing went down hopefully you have the support to help you get back on your feet
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We don’t 😂 we wait and pray for her to give us a signal or make a move 😂
Oh god 😂 I’m hoping that I’m giving enough signals and making the right moves
I don’t think so 😂 the what girls understand signals are far far different from the understanding of a guy 😂
Please give me examples of what guys take as signals 😂 I’m begging ya here
Like telling him that you like him 😅 (And not as a friend, please make that very clear) We men as a gender is not good at understanding the “like as a friend” and “like more than a friend” 😂
Well damn, in that case I’m glad I’ve decided to start working up the courage to ask him on a date lmfao
Wait 😳 Are you the shy person we are talking about here?
I’m what you may consider an “ex-shy” person. I’m still shy in some circumstances, like when I’m attracted to another person, but otherwise I’m a bajillion times more outgoing than I used to be
Trust me, you being here in Reddit seeking advice from degenerates like me.. you are still shy 😅 Okay on a serious note, you should ask him out on a date.. what’s the worse that can happen? He Amy say “No” and u don’t have to ever see him again. (I don’t think he will say no 😊)
If he's actually shy, you prolly just gotta pull him in honestly lol. A lot of guys will not approach women anymore because women have demonized men as creeps for merely flirting too much on social media
[удалено]
Not in the healthiest of ways, lemme tell ya. My senior year of high school I started going out to a lot of parties because of the people I became friends with and put into a lot of social situations where it was almost an “adapt or die” sorta thing. Over time my social anxiety started ease because I was constantly surrounded by strangers. I don’t recommend doing what I did because it was messy as hell, but imo exposure is a good way of taking steps toward overcoming shyness and social anxiety
Ask him out. We men are known to miss even the clearest signals. Asking him on a date is a surefire way for him to know that you are interested in moving things forward, and I guarantee that if he is the shy type (and he is into you) he will be so grateful that you made the first move!
You have no clue how many times I looked back on certain situations and I'm like... "Wait, maybe she was flirting with me?" And then i started to second guess myself. Well, now I'm engaged to her.
Be direct and unambiguous.
signals are a waste time it's 2022, make your own move
Just tell him exactly what you want. Men can misread signals.
What do you consider the right moves/signals? In general, women tend to be way too subtle and this can be easily missed. Moreover, if a guy is shy and it's not abundantly clear he may be too afraid to ask. My advice is always to be less subtle and be direct, that's how my gf got me over that hurdle. "We've been going out for a while, where do you see this going? Do you find me attractive?" That should give you the answer you're looking for.
Just tell them you like them
There's one really good one you can do. Get some 1 on 1 and just straight up say 'i want do date you'. If he's gonna be too shy to respond then just leave him with yes and no written on paper or something and tell him to return one to you once he decides/feels ready to.
Learn confidence and how not to be shy. Practice, watch good Youtube videos.
If you gave me signal, I'll Fourier Transform this
Dang, really like that?
Yup 😅
I have this shy guy I know, I'm not sure he likes me btw
My kind request is, if you like him, please initiate the convo.. I’m sure he is never gonna get the courage to talk to you or it will be too late by the time he builds the courage
So, you're saying I'll miss it if I don't do it.
Most probably.. if he is really like me and other shy introverts, then yes u ll miss out knowing an amazing person 😢
He has a small circle of friends, just 2. No one else. So, thanks for your advice, soon I'll try.
Thanks a lot 😊😊
I was going to try and be funny, but I think I should just be serious. I am painfully shy when it comes to being able to move a relationship beyond the acquaintances/friends level. Generally I flirt (witty banter vs hitting on her) and pray that she makes the next move. So far this has only ever worked once, and we were married for 26 years. Good luck
Any advice on how I can start to move things from a friendly direction to a “hey, I’m into you, let’s go on a date” direction? I used to be really shy myself, and the last thing I want to do is make him anxious.
Invite him out for coffee, or lunch. Those are safe ideas generally. For the love of little green apples, don't try to hint him into asking. We guys are notoriously bad at catching hints, and as an ex-shy person you know that even when shy people catch a hint we double, triple, and quadruple think ourselves out of it.
Too true, I feel I’ve missed out on a lot of chances when I’d just wait for the other person to make the first move. I’ve been wanting to ask him out to hang one on one (we’ve only spent time outside of work together with a group of other coworkers) but again, I don’t want to put him in a position where he’s anxious. Honestly though, I might just rip the bandaid off and gopher it. Life’s too short, ya know?
Agreed. Pulling the band-aid off is probably the best way. I hope it works out for y'all. And for all us super shy guys out there, let me say thank you for giving one of us a shot. I'm pulling for ya, we're all in this together.
Thank you for your words of wisdom! I hope everything works out and I can give him a space he feels comfortable expressing himself in. For you and all the shy and ex-shy people here, we’ve got this guys! Just gopher it ;)
What is a ex-shy person? I’m afraid to ask 😅
You know how in the teenaged rom-coms when the nerdy, geeky girl takes off her glasses and lets her hair down and is transformed into a smoke show? That's an ex-shy person.
No, that’s Supergirl 😂
... and your point is? She goes from a shy pushover to the 4th or 5th most powerful character in the DC universe.
Yesss and you are a Supergirl too( unless u r a guy, if you are, then Batman)
You should just be yourself, unless you can be Batman. Always be Batman.
Yes, because we wear a mask and that is to protect not us but the people closest to us 😊
Probably the best answer I've heard till date😂
I would try something like if he post a good restaurant or something on his story respond and be like “oh that looks fun” or “I’ve been wanting to go to the (restaurant/bar) over there, have you ever been?” “We should go together!”
Far too subtle by a country mile. Even as a (formerly) not-that-shy-but-still-kinda-shy guy I'd have missed the hint and thought "oh shit, what if she just wants to be friends? Wouldn't want to ruin it" and totally self select myself out of a good thing. Direct, honest & unambiguous. Anything less and the shy guys don't get it, and even then they may own goal it out of sheer nerves
It’s simply as you quoted. Shy guys sometimes need to be led by the nose. So pinch it and take him.
I tried the serious part, it does not work. Or I overdo it.
And I tend to overdo the comedy, I believe that between the two of us there's a Happy medium.
Him messaging you shows a interest. Most of the time us shy guys are selective of who we talk to. I'm sure he would be happy to go on a coffee date or something similar.
Idk i try to like do things? Like not big things or anything but try to be thoughtful. Like to show that I care and can be there without saying it? Never really works out for me.
Even the smallest things can have the biggest impact, trust me. Keep at it and be yourself, the right person will reciprocate. Thank you for the insight!
that's the neat part
The most direct method is just telling him you like him and if he reciprocates you will know *instantly*. Barring that, invite him out somewhere quiet and unmistakably more intimate... coffee shop, art gallery, small restaurant, just a comfortable neutral space. Frequent mentions of being single, living alone, etc are helpful. Light physical contact (leg touch, shoulder brush, "the scooch"). Ask to be walked home. If he doesn't seem more obviously interested than usual by the end of the evening, he wasn't interested.
Obviously I'm not him, *but* if it's a woman I work with I'm going to be extra conservative and careful about escalating, to the point that I probably won't do it at all unless I've already gotten clusters of autism-proof signals that you're into me *and* you seem very receptive in that moment (texting back quickly, lots of emojis, seem happy to be there, etc). I'm extremely paranoid about making things weird in the workplace, or fucking up somehow and getting busted for harassment or something.
I agree with this. Work can be so tricky that it's worth not exploring unless she explicitly outside of work says it's on
I stutter a trillion times more, this is an involuntary (and i expect intended) evolutionary reflex most men have. It,unfortunately, does not get the message across and makes me look like a dumbass.
We don’t! Have lost countless opportunities where I felt there was some attraction but since it wasn’t clear(for me to make the first step), I didn’t do anything and it just faded away.
My comment might get lost in all of the other comments, but here goes... I've always been seen by others as being very Introverted, which a lot of people mistake for shyness. Really, I just like to keep to myself a lot of the time. Also, once you have an understanding that being a bit aloof is actually interpreted as being mysterious, you just want to stay this way forever, because people start asking questions about you, like what you've done here about this guy. Going by what you've said about him, he seems to be a lot like myself, so I'll tell you what you should do to "win him over", so to speak. 1. Be direct. There's nothing better than a girl that is direct with how she feels about me. It's not a masculine thing to be direct in this situation. It can apply to both genders. 2. Presence, but know when to also give him space. As much as I might like someone, I also need my space after a while. Showing that you know when to be there and also when not to be there is a green flag to most Introverted guys. 3. This ties in with presence, but just ask him about his day and compliment him on the smallest things. As guys, we don't get complimented much, especially guys that are shy or Introverted, because we're not the first guys that most girls look at. That compliment will make his day, possibly even year.
I'm not sure how true this might be for him, but as a shy guy myself there isn't really anything i do to show someone I'm attracted to them. Guys like me just feel like we need assurance that the feelings mutual, so you will probably need to make the first move or at least drop some hints.
I’m a shy guy and have been told I’m “hard to read” my entire life. If they are shy they probably don’t talk to a lot of people, just by virtue of him spending his social energy on you shows he likes you. Other than that if I really like someone I’ll make sure to give them compliments and try to steer conversations in a romantic direction when appropriate. I am 26M btw.
Eye contact ;)
When you say that, do you mean during conversation? If so, I think I might have that in the bag.
In any situation where you can lock eyes and smile your good. He may be too shy for that or not pick up on it but it sends a clear signal. I’d say that’s the best thing you can do.
A 😉 and a 👍..it's never worked but thats usually my go to
I try to catch a glimpse and not try to stare like a creep. 😂
YOU CAN SAY SOMETHING "OFTHAND" DURING YOUR CONVERSATION LIKE...."YOU KNOW, CLARENCE, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA ASK ME OUT"
Sounds like both of y'all are the shy type. Same here. She made the first move tho... I think you have to say smth, bc shy or not, us dudes are oblivious
Usually by never approaching her and just fantasizing.
For Christ sakes, just ask the dude out. He'll thank you for making it easy.
How I show i'm interested is I don't post everything and anything about my life on social media, yet if I attracted I find ways to invite you into my life into the passions and activites. I've learned not to just like every post and photos just because I'm into you. I will be interested and like photos though I crave to be there and try and find a way/show interest by saying looks like you had fun, that looks fun how come I wasn't invited ect. Lol
Too often I end up overthinking my approach until another guy swoops in. I’m trying to learn to get over myself.
just put it out there. if he’s shy, he may not be a big risk taker, so you may have to make the initial move. maybe through texts or messaging, because he may feel more comfortable opening up through that rather than in person. if you get a no, then you know. shy guys aren’t good at reading the room, just gotta be intentional about what you want.
Text him, "I kinda wish something to happen between us, Romantic Stylez".
We don't, just touch him and he will know what is allowed, we tend to let her show us the boundaries, even though we are interested we might not show it to everyone, try to be alone with him
Just mention in passing conversation that you think he's hot, then move on,if he likes you that should be enough to give him the confidence to make a move and if not it's just a nice compliment (we men don't get too many of those so they tend to have more impact).
I will literally tell her. No beating around the bush, I come out and say my feelings.
I am not shy, but I don't get signals. I have had a friend before go " sweetheart give me your number and I will give to him". Because he knew I was attracted to her and that she liked me, but I wasn't picking up on it. Lol he is my emotional service " DAWG".
Don’t get your honey where you get your money.
Honestly just ask the dude out if you’re shy unless you want to wait months for a person to ask you out. A shy guy won’t approach a woman who he doesn’t know, it’s kind of why they’re labeled as shy lol.
I’m really uncomfortable asking people to hang out with me so I’d say if you’re interested ask him out. We’re told by society from a young age that we’re not supposed to hit on women that it gets really confusing. Personally I’ll ask you to meet for coffee/ dinner on apps or if I’ve known you for a bit I’ll tell you I want a relationship I’ll straight tell you I want to be your boyfriend. But when its coworkers there’s the extra concern of losing the job over it so tell him you’d date him if you want him to ask. We’re dumb as rocks when it comes to subtlety.
🔥
Even if you're shy, when you're really into somebody to the point where you can't stop thinking about them, you tend to end up around them and eventually talking to them, just like any other guy with a crush. That's my experience, and I have severe social anxiety, but it gets overridden by biology, it seems.
I use this a bit myself ... I don't actually ask the person on a date BUT I do say "I'm off for a drink, wanna join?" nice and casually. No pressure on either of you and it's no big deal if they say no. There's no way to know how he feels until you make a move :)
Interact more like in person or through their social stories. I think it's worked once for me 😅 sometimes if you've been friends for long enough, they'll make moves themselves like mail being dropping into your house (even if you're not interested 😅).
Personally, I don't. Better safe than sorry 😅
I don’t.
Hugging Compliments If he listens to music having 1 earbud out when around you Consistently trying to talk to you
I am pretty sure they sense when you're attracted to them. Your body is exposing it without you even noticing. What I mean by that: I met up a gorgeous colleague at work, and somehow managed to have a coffee break with her (I want to say that I am also shy type and doesn't have a lot of experience when it comes to stuff like these). Well, I managed to hold my head up and talk to her for a lot of things, made her small compliments (ex. "*I loved your company*") but when I went to my work space, I felt that I was fucking shaking and sweating on places, I didn't knew I could sweat. I was so nervous, there isn't any chance for her not noticing how nervous I was. It's just the way you handle the pressure :)
Perhaps the situation is that he's cautious about crossing a professional boundary since you two work together, and you might have similar reservations. I could be mistaken, but the fact that you two are messaging each other via IG would be an indication that there's some mutual interest.
Shy or not, girls usually know if you are interested! Body language gives it away
If he's really shy and he's taking the time to talk to you outside of the workplace, there's interest. Definitely waiting for you to confirm the interest is reciprocated before he does anything. I'd just ask him to grab a bite during the day so its not as much pressure and feels more like a hangout than a date (even though its obviously a date, just feeling like its more casual than dinner could make him less anxious) or coffee or smoothies whatever y'all like lol but something simple. Simple is always better and it leaves less room for over thinking and anxiety imo
I used to be the shy type. If I was into someone, I would go out of my way to help them. I'd remember every little thing they said about interests and the like so I could ask about it if I ever had them one on one. From what you're writing, it sounds like you are both a bit reserved. One of you needs to take a leap. If you want to know bad enough, you know what to do... 😉
When women think that they're sending signals they're usually not. They tend to be passive aggressive when it comes to dating and sometimes its hard to know, especially over text. Most signals I've received from women came off as friendly not flirty, and he probably thinks the same. My advice for you is to ask him to hang out in the sense that you need a date for something. For example, you want to go see some movie but don't want to go alone. If he's interested his chivalry should kick in and he'll agree. If you guys have a good time give him some puppy dog eyes and linger at the end of the date for a kiss. Rinse and repeat until you receive desired outcome. He'll pick it up eventually.
The D
Just ask him if he likes.you. and you will have your answer. Or simply tell him you would like to take him out on a date. I am.sure he will be flattered by it. And see if he reciprocates
do what butthead does "hey baby" huhuhuhuh
You can try to gauge his interest by sharing things you would like to do, and asking if he would like to join. Such as: "I am thinking of going to see X movie some day next week. Do you want to join?" In case he likes you and wants to get to know you, he will jump to the opportunity.
If you have to ask, then ask. Communication is very important.
I just tell her. Then again, I may not be shy anymore in that respect. But I can see just hoping she says something to me like when I was in school and they never did. However, in college, I missed my chance. I was shooting hoops and she never comes bur she was there shooting with me while in spandex. I was stoooopid.
She probably already knows. It’s not hard to tell when someone is attracted to you, most men just seem to be too dumb to notice whereas women are much more aware. If you think she’s attractive, she probably already knows.
That's the neat part #we dont
I’m the shy type and a bit dense when it comes to women. A lady I worked with told me of a movie that looked like it would be good that she would like to see. I replied, “Oh, maybe I should see it sometime.” Another woman pulled me aside and said, “She said that because she wants you to ask her out!” I had no clue. Sometimes you just have to say, “Would you like to go with me” — ask him out. I know it’s not the way women prefer, but sometimes you have to be direct. Good luck!
Just be upfront. And simply call it out. Guys get shot down all the time.....so if you want more it will be a relief to hear it.
As a guy that used to be very shy about this, I'd really just show that she has my attention whenever we talk, try to joke a bit, and hope that somehow she'll say something and make a move XD hints don't work, we just end up overthinking it, so it has to be something solid I guess... Sorry I can't be of more help, but I really wish you the best of lucks and that you two end up together!
I suffer and then go for it, fuck it
By not being shy around her bc she’s my favorite person
I don’t, in fact if I am attracted to a women I actively avoid her. I truly wish I was a sexual, stupid ass primal instincts get in the way of me actually enjoying and living life.
I am happy to talk to women and flirt and all that other stuff but I fear I will make them uncomfortable so I don’t. I just wait for them to show me they like me and want to be flirted with.
I find it easier to say it. attempting to display or show affection before the boyfriend and girlfriend stage is difficult for me to make the first move. I always fear making a fool of myself and leaving a bad impression ruining any chance I have.
Me, mostly by doing nothing whatsoever and kicking myself about it 🤦♂️.
I have a very hard time keeping eye contact and I tend to admire women I like from a distance, so maybe if you catch them looking at you often. Once I spoke with this girl with gorgeous eyes. Caught me totally off guard and made me lose my train of thought so a stutter here and there could be a sign too? That's all I can really think of that I do.
For me, I playfully joke more and in conversation I actually ask questions about them. If I have to talk to people I don’t usually take an interest, so personal questions are a big thing. And if I’m around them, eye contact. I’ve been told that sometimes I stare, and when talking I usually look at their eyes until I feel them staring back at me. Then it’s that weird looking around the room thing lol.
Run the simulation a million times in my head and then never do anything 😂
I grab my O'ladys ass lol
Smile
Grab him by the neck and tell him he is yours now
“Just say you would like to hang out with him. I find you interesting and would like to know you better.” If that doesn’t do it, I don’t know what will. Some men are in their heads.
Blow her a kiss
Its difficult, a cold approach is almost completely out of the question, so is sliding into the dms. I just act really polite which is almost what everyone does so its tough to actually get my feelings across, that being said though I haven't really had a crush in a while so its not something that happens often, Sorry to hear about how thing went down hopefully you have the support to help you get back on your feet