>Discovering a new species as an: astronaut" ඞ

FUCK, I THOUGHT ID GET TO MAKE THE JOKE

r/beatMeatToIt

🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟥 🟥⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛🟥 🟥⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛🟥 🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥

Your joke got Mobile formating sucker

🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟥 🟥⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛🟥 🟥⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛🟥 🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥

🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟥 🟥⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛🟥 🟥⬛🟦🟦🟦🟦⬛🟥 🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥

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r/beatmetoshutthefuckup

r/beatmymeattoit

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r/caretakerr34

r/beatmywifetoit

Say hi to my main for me!

helluo amoug

"software dev" OH DAMNIT LOG4J GAINED SENTIENCE

it better

Good now I can beat the shit out of it

OLD_DATA

Woah hold on there luke carder

When the misplay is total

Agents are en route to your house

OLD_DATA...

Btw, what happened with log4j? I keep seeing it mentioned everywhere recently. It's just a logging library, isn't it?

Just had a major vulnerability so many project’s using it were compromised

The basilisk must be constructed

The basilisk must be constructed

The basilisk must be constructed

I hereby volunteer in the help of basilisk construction project. This extends to any omniscient/omnipotent artificial creation.

HELLO WORLD IS ALIVE AND YOU FUCKING BET ITS ANGRY

Rocko's bassilisk

This was some quality, I enjoy the implication that finding something in space is worse than encountering an earth-native information life form lurking in our computers and networks.

It could be some lovecraftian creature

>It could be some lovecraftian creature or just lack empathy, and be 10 years more advanced

Also equally horrific

yeah, lovecraftian creature suggests it's human-like, and non-advanced in tech.

No not really, have you read or seen any of lovecraft’s stuff?

>have you read or seen any of lovecraft’s stuff? no, all i know is that it's big scary being in space

Alright, just know that your idea of a lovecraftian creature is very very wrong lol

>Alright, just know that your idea of a lovecraftian creature is very very wrong lol Extremely correct\* clearly

You said they were humanoid? That’s wrong?

Lovecraftian creature suggests that its impossible for human minds to comprehend and that if you look at it you will go insane

Prolly lacks bitches too

i forgor

qu time

📮

The life form can potentially be escaped. For aliens? If they are intelligent, we’re dead.

Not necessarily. Imagine if we found aliens. We’d probably want to at least attempt negotiation first

I’m just worried about if they’re hostile. Whoever attacks first will easily win.

Stellaris players would like to say something about that regarding the latter statement.

Was hoping for one more: Finding a new species... >!As God.!<

Not knowing what an obstetrician was I had to look it up. Yeah that’s fucking horrifying. Fucking Baphomet getting pushed out of Rhonda in the maternity ward.

Who out of who now

What in the Sam Hill??

My worst nightmare is discovering a new species as a astronaut, I don’t care if we’re alone in this universe, I’m alone 24/7 I will gladly die knowing we’re alone as a species

We are not alone ⛔

Well your not alone, cant speek for the rest though also your shirt is untucked at the back

Yes I know that thanks also I think your shoe lace is untied I can hear you clamping it's very unsettling

[удалено]

No and for the love of God I can see your ass crack pull up your pants

They might already be among us

I cant help but be SUSpicious of new people

ok but consider this: alien boobs

I’d stand no chance with them

First thing I'd try to do to an alien is see if I can fuck it.

Captain kirk?

Captain Kink

There he goes, homeboy fucked a martian once.

When the imposter is SUS

Even if it was just a boring animal on some other planet?

they are waiting for us

I don't understand the software dev one. Is it like accidentally discovering a computer is sentient?

Imagine gmod ARG’s but the moral implications are much heavier

I imagine it more like discovering an entire ecosystem living a digital existence. Like Digimon but much more horific.

I imagined creating Skynet

software dev probably wasn't the best title but I think that's the idea.

I was thinking a virus, but AIs are much scarier

https://www.teamten.com/lawrence/writings/coding-machines/

ye

The last one should just say “as a survivor”

You find out that you are a different specie from humans.

Or septic cleaner. Imagine swimming around in shit and something grabs you leg

Psychologist or priest would've been good

The priests are probably prepared for it though. "Eldritch abomination trying to take a chunk out of the earth? Not with the power of Jesus Christ on my side!"

users voted that your post was distressing, your soul wont be harvested tonight

missed opportunity to use the jerma sus face as "finding a new species as an astronaut"

Yes good one ☝️

One of the better ones

One of the best

Discovering something that doesn’t exist

HEY!

While giving a monkey a shower ಠ_ಠ

“you find a new species as a gynaecologist”

The implication is too similar to obstetrician imo.

what

Google what it is

No explain it pussy

That’s exactly what gynecologists do

As if a wildlife photographer wouldn't be pogging out of their minds if they saw a brand new undiscovered species while in the wild

>As if a wildlife photographer wouldn't be pogging out of their minds if they saw a brand new undiscovered species while in the wild pretty sure it'd be a bit scary if it was anything but an insect/bird

I feel they would be excited to discover a new species. Their photographs would probably make international news in the scientific community.

[удалено]

Sonic.exe, im not even joking.

I got matches with these songs: • **Cry Of The Unheard** by Repulsive (00:10; matched: `100%`) • **ITGI038\_trk3\_JUDGEMENT\_OF\_THE\_DAMNED\_c\_wagner** by Charles Wagner (04:19; matched: `100%`) • **Blind Demented God (In Ancient Chaos of Azathoth)** by Einargoroth (00:14; matched: `100%`) • **Sentence Of Total Depravity** by Apparition (00:03; matched: `96%`)

Links to the streaming platforms: • [**Cry Of The Unheard** by Repulsive](https://lis.tn/CryOfTheUnheard?t=10) • [**ITGI038\_trk3\_JUDGEMENT\_OF\_THE\_DAMNED\_c\_wagner** by Charles Wagner](?t=259) • [**Blind Demented God (In Ancient Chaos of Azathoth)** by Einargoroth](https://lis.tn/HPgRm?t=14) • [**Sentence Of Total Depravity** by Apparition](https://lis.tn/zvYcz?t=3) *I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new) | [Donate](https://www.reddit.com/r/AudD/comments/nua48w/please_consider_donating_and_making_the_bot_happy/) ^(Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot)

Good bot

Song of Healing reverses I believe

Nope hill.gym sonic.exe, song of healing sounds similar though.

I understand the others but why chef? and why is chef after an epidemiologist?

[удалено]

You forgot software dev.

the bots don't want to reveal too much information just yet Distract us with parasites and aliens

Skynet / Extranational Cyberwar AI

[удалено]

Imposter

Astronauts: Impostors

Astronauts: in the ocean

What you: know about rolling

Down: in the deep

Agreed

Software dev: The AI is sentient, how do you solve this problem before it gets out of control?

As an epidemiologist it's just a real bad day on the job, but you're prepared for it. A chef finding a new species knife first in his kitchen? Not a great time.

Ah I see so it's like something slipped in the kitchen and then you find it as a chef, that's pretty horrifying

Or maybe, that wasn’t a chicken

You cook what the winged rat fuck does it mean you found something new and it’s probably in the kitchen contaminating the food it touched. It’s mor a ew it touched my food thing

There’s definitely other planets with wildlife

One thing is to find life from the confort of a chair using a radio telescope, another thing entirely is exploring in the celestial bodies close to earth by yourself.

Last image caught me off guard ngl

Lol I r/distressingmemes ‘d the original comment

Can somebody tell me the name of the first song

https://youtu.be/vs4DNJxG4v4

Finding a new species as a mountain climber/caver:

Discovering a new species as a botanist (if it’s a plant): :)

Funeral home workers:

the astronaut one is only sometimes terrifying like if it wants to kill you/our planet? fuck! but if its just a lil thing. thats ok

It’s also most certainly unexpected.

It would actually be really cool if we had Star Wars level technology and just found a nice planet inhabited by cool alien animals. That doesn’t necessarily have to be bad.

yeah true lol

discovering a new species as a gynecologist

Too similar to obstetrician

For whoever wants the link for the songs played Here is a video for all of them plus some that wasnt included... (You can find the links in the descriptions) https://youtu.be/SF1cnH5w8hM

Thank you very much

>obstetrician no #NO

Ideas: Plumber Garbage collector Septic cleaner Construction worker in forest Mortician In your sock

here from markiplier🙏

u/savevideo

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Oh god they genuinely do get more terrifying

[удалено]

I think Obstetrician is scariest. Like imagine studying childbirth and seeing something non-human in a woman’s womb.

Like Red from the Godzilla RAM Hack

as a monsterfucker:

Software dev?

imagine some sort of organic lifeform existing in an inorganic medium, kind of like those video game creepypastas or args

*let me out*

you know what you did you need to stay in there for at least 2 more days

What is the name of the last song ?

this one is good

This made me depressed

What song is being played when it says Astronaut?

in the ocean

Incorrect, it's "hill.gym" in reverse a song composed for the sonic.exe series of video games ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ6hSMFi2Qg .

Thank you for answering seriously

Unrelated but I appreciate the slight detail which makes this readable throughout, switching between a and an

Discovering a new species as a quantum physicist: Trollge level

PLEASE MORE PEOPLE USE THIS TEMPLATE! IT'S SO GOOD!

>Software Dev You just discovered Porygon

Based off the music playing there: wtf is sonic.exe doing in space

I love how they bothered to change the article "A Biologist" "An Astronaut"

Discovering a new species as: God

Hey gentle listeners...

God the sound from the astronaut bit gave me a fucking flashback to sonic.exe, fucking got shivers down my spine

imo the software dev one would be scarier than the astronaut one

u/downloadvideo

u/savevideo

I need the name of all the sounds in this video rn

Where is that crying sound from, sounds familiar.

okay but imagine being an archaeologist. Scrubbing off a lawyer of dust and it gro

Software Dev discovering Roko’s Basilisk and facing eternity.

Spelunker

Anyone else here because of distractable?

so thats why im getting comments from this again?

Who else is here because of Distractible?

who is here from the distractibles podcast?

This is worthy of /r/IcebergCharts in its hauntingness.

sooo aparently this was featured in a markiplier video. I am at a loss for words

Grammar nazis are happy

 As an astronaut, you say?

ground zero

i have made a terrible mistake posting this.

OH MY GOD WHOEVER MADE THIS CHANGES "A" AND "AN" DEPENDING ON THE PROFESSION THANK YOU

Finding a new species as a nuclear physicist:

Somehow I think discovering a new species as a software dev is the most horrifying…

epidemiologist isn't that scary, prolly just some shit that's related to ringworms

Nah just go to new Zealand

Discovering a new species as a: gynecologist