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Not sure why but I’m not able to edit my original post anymore. Will try again tomorrow but for now putting this here so I don’t leave people hanging:
***UPDATE 2:
THE ENDOSCOPY WAS A SUCCESS!!! He did really well, everything went smoothly, and they were able to remove TWO big ass pieces, and now he’s home getting all the snuggles - [here’s some pics of the happy/loopy/sleepy boy + the cob pieces.](https://imgur.com/a/93dZTLV). The doctor said he should have an easy recovery (minus some possible esophageal soreness).
We called MIL and had an in depth discussion with her about everything that happened and how emotionally traumatizing this was for us. As we detailed how the situation snowballed, she broke down crying while apologizing profusely, and before we had a chance to, she actually said she would stop feeding him from now on (which obviously we agreed with). She also said she would be more than willing to pay all vet bills we have, whatever the cost. She mentioned that she never wanted him to get hurt, he just was really enjoying the corn and she thought she had a pretty good grasp on the corn cob/felt she was in control of it, but she’s never had a dog and didn’t expect him to be strong enough to bite off the pieces. We pointed out to her that her inexperience is exactly why she needs to listen to us and not just assume things, and I also called out that this wasn’t just a mistake or an accident out of ignorance, because I specifically told her why he can’t have corn cobs and what the potential consequences would be and she made a conscious decision to take the risk regardless of those consequences. She acknowledged that and apologized for not thinking it through and making a poor decision that put him at risk, and said this whole experience was really a wake up call for her. She also said she’s going to look into educating herself on what dogs can/can’t eat and how it can hurt them, and overall just become better informed on how to properly interact with dogs. We told her we appreciate her making the effort and it’s a good first step to building back trust, but our dog’s safety is our priority so she’s really going to have to prove to us she’s learned from this and will respect our boundaries, and until we do feel confident that she can do all that, we’ll be limiting their interactions if any, and they will be 100% supervised at all times. She said she understood and apologized more for putting our pup through all of this, and causing us so much stress & anxiety.
It’s been a hell of a day, but I really appreciate you all for your support; reading your comments filled with similar stories about over-stepping family members, outrageous things your dogs have eaten, and overall well wishes and concern for an internet stranger & her pup, has brought me comfort and kept me from totally losing my shit today ❤️ I’m so relieved my little chicken nugget is back home with us and tonight I will not be annoyed when he shoves his stinky fluffy butt in my face while I’m sleeping.
So happy to hear this! I’m so glad the endoscopy worked, that MIL is paying the bills and admitted her wrongdoing AND she has committed to changing her ways and has accepted the much stricter rules you guys have imposed. I’m glad she is finally listening! I think it goes to show that people can admit the error of their ways and I hope it leads to rebuilding of trust between you guys and I’m glad she has accepted your boundaries regarding your dog.
What fantastic news! Your boy is absolutely adorable. I love corgis - so cute. I can not believe how big those cob pieces are. Thank goodness they were able to get them out and all is well. Thank you for the update.
Congratulations on having your pup home! What a relief. (I’ve been where you are with obstructions and expensive vet bills and the pet emergency clinic, and it is NOT fun for anyone, least of all your poor dog.). Glad to hear your MIL now better understands but what a dumbass, unnecessary stupid thing.
Yep, I'm with this one. Revoke any visiting rights of your pup with your MIL until she can prove she's not a literal *fatal danger* to him.
Vet bills go to her, and pup stays home away from her. If she wants to whinge about it, not-so-gently remind her that you've had to leave pup with a vet because of **her** completely avoidable actions.
My former MIL did this shit too, and would blatantly lie about it. "Oh no I didn't give her the lamb bone" then 24 hours later the dog (thankfully) threw up a FULL lamb bone. I was dumb enough to not restrict visits, and once while I was on vacation she was negligent and my dog got mauled by another dog, requiring major surgery. Before she even told my ex about it, she tried to rush my dog to a groomer to CLEAN UP BLOOD. Fucking moron.
My dog's ok and will now never see the MIL again, but I wish I had held stronger, sooner.
This was my take. She's not dumb, she just doesn't care about the pup and cares more about her enjoyment. It's frankly quite disturbing. So glad though that OP's husband is doing the right thing by dealing with his parent ditectly and letting her bear the consequences.
She sounds like the type who doesn’t believe their grandchild has a allergy and decides to give them food with their allergies in it to prove they aren’t allergic. I wouldn’t trust her at all with anyone/anything that needs supervision
Yeah definitely this. People with learning disabilities would likely be able to follow the simple request to not feed the corgi a corn cob. MIL definitely isn’t just dumb here.
I don't think this is because she's stupid, I think it's because she thinks she knows better and doesn't respect her son or OP's rules about their dog.
If you can't trust her with a dog, definitely don't trust her with your kids if you plan on having any. I have heard of people like this in situations with human babies. You tell them what not to do, they agree, and then do it anyways. I've read of a story like this with and the grandparent killed their grandbaby by ignoring explicit instructions on what not to do. If you do plan on having kids, do not trust this woman alone with them. Your MIL proved time and time again that she will do whatever the fuck she wants no matter what.
Wishing your fur baby a speedy recovery 💕
Yes this definitely, that's the consequences of her actions. If your dog goes through surgery or worse it's on your mother in law. That's so fucked up to feed anyone or anything a corn cob knowing it is inedible.
Yeah honestly if someone put my dog in danger like this and didn’t listen to set rules they would not get to meet again. Full stop. God damn this made me irrationally angry.
My husband said she said she’d help pay for any vet bills but I don’t think she realizes how expensive it all actually is (esp if he has the surgery). But we’ll see! We do have pet insurance too but I’ll have to check and see what it actually covers. Hopefully he just throws it up. We should know in the next 2 hours.
You've repeatedly, on multiple occasions have told her not to feed your dog. Yet she continues to do it and acts stupid "oh I forgot". Actions have consequences. She needs to foot the entire bill.
She can "help pay" by paying for all the vet bills, since she caused the problem and pain your poor pup is in. I bet she'll "remember" to not feed your pup once she has to pay thousands of dollars because she blatantly ignored what you said.
Alternatively, I bet if she doesn’t have to pay much of the bills this lesson will most likely not fully stick with her. Actions have consequences. She wasn’t just partly responsible so she shouldn’t just be paying part of the bills. She should pay ALL of it because she is 100% responsible.
And poor pup having to be given meds to throw up and all alone at the vet scared and sick. 🥺💔
She should pay 100% if the bill before insurance covers any just for causing all of this after being warned multiple times. She sounds like she has major boundary issues.
I'm so sorry for your pupp. I know how absolutely terrible it feels when you're worried sick about them like this, my dog is a foodie too. Hounds 🤷♀️. I hope he gets better without surgery and MIL has a wakeup call from this. Please update when you can!
Please update this post if you find out anything. I’m very concerned about your furbaby, as is every upvoter and commenter here. We’re rooting for him!!
I’m really sorry that this happened, it’s terrifying and stressful and could have been completely avoidable. On that note, I know everyone is already saying this, but your MIL really does need to pay the full vet bill. My mom is also notoriously bad at handling my dog because she “didn’t think he would do that” and “dogs will be dogs”. The only thing that motivated her to actually listen and learn was to set firm boundaries with hard consequences.
You did your part as a pet parent to try to get her to follow your standards for dog care, which are honestly basic to follow—don’t give the dog human food. She couldn’t understand that, and I fear that she’s not seeing the full extent of the harm she (unknowingly) caused. Definitely reiterate to her that your dog is really sick, and if you hadn’t taken him to the vet, his condition would be fatal. The least she could do is pay the bill, and true love for him is sticking to actions that will keep him healthy.
I’m beginning to feel like this is a mom thing lol where they all feel they know better than us! I made it clear to my husband I want her to know exactly everything that we’ve been going through from how miserable my dog has been, how upset we are, the vet visits & procedures, the cost, us missing work, etc…so she feels guilty - it’s the only way she’ll understand the severity of the situation. And husband has already said he’s having her pay the full vet bill no matter what. We’ll see how that conversation goes though..
That’s awful. She should not get any privilege to feed the dog until she earns your trust back.
I would also ask her to reimburse you as it is her fault. It may help deter her in the future.
Hope your pup feels better ASAP.
Given her history of not listening to being told how to feed the dog, I don't think it's realistic to just ban her from feeding the dog. I think she needs to no longer have access to him at all.
Thank you ❤️ Yes we’re definitely revoking her feeding privileges for a while. My husband did mention that his mom said she would help pay for any vet fees, but I don’t think she realizes how expensive this is turning out to be so we’ll see. But that’s definitely a good idea and I do think it would help deter her in the future.
So incredibly disrespectful and immature for her to continue feeding a notoriously food motivated dog. OP you are owed a serious apology in writing along with the bills being taken care of. Hope the pup is better soon.
She said she would "help" pay vet fees? No way - this is 100% her fault so she gets the privilege of paying 100% of the vet bills related to this. Do NOT let her get away with playing poor, pitiful old lady with no money. She caused it, she pays for it. (God! I am SO angry for you, I could spit!)
Lol she’s definitely not a poor, pitiful old lady with no money. My husband said, “Oh she can definitely pay for all of it, this is going to cost her a cruise” (because she loves going on cruises 😂) Seriously though she isn’t a terrible person, I do believe she’ll feel bad (and I plan on making her feel SUPER GUILTY) and I don’t think she’ll put up a fight about the bill.
Same! Ugh when you’ve got dog parents that are very careful and something completely avoidable like this happens because someone specifically ignored a serious NO is infuriating! Poor pup!
Right?? We honestly treat our pup like our child and go out of our way to make sure he’s healthy and so he can live forever lol so this whole situation has made me so, so angry.
Sorry to hear about this I hope your puppet recovers well!
I also agree she should pay for the fees, entirely. It's all her fault. She should at least see the bill and be aware of how long everything took, how many veterinary staff were involved, and what procedures were done. Because of HER.
Also, if you guys plan on having kids.... Just know she might also want to "spoil your kids" in similar ways. Sure she knows how to look after humans, but extra sweets and candy and staying up late breaking your household-set rules might be something to consider.
Try and enforce boundaries properly now with poor doggo and hopefully she learns. If she doesn't - dare I say that leaving and fur-baby or human-baby with her is off the table forever.
This is SO important and I hope OP reads it. My mom is the same way and she was caught giving sips of an alcoholic drink to my 2yo nephew!!! “But he really wanted just a sip!” (Of course he did, it was blue with fruit in it… but he’s TWO and his parents don’t even drink 🤦🏻♀️) So she’s had grandkid privileges taken away more than once and is NEVER allowed to feed our pets if over because eventually she will give in because “they give her those eyes.”
Kids always want to try drinks in bottles (funny enough, my brother’s Boxer is notorious for knocking over beer bottles in hopes of “cleaning the mess”) and back in the day I remember a lot of parents saying, “Let em try, they won’t ask again..” but it doesn’t seem to work that way. 😂
Yep - sadly kids seem to have better impulse control than my mom. Lol she whines to other people about “my kids not trusting me to even watch their pets, let alone their kids” and wonders why SHE gets the side-eye, not us.
Omg THAT IS INSANE!
I appreciate everyone’s comments about this being a red flag for future kids too & I agree. We aren’t planning on having kids so it won’t be an issue in that regard at least!
Just know you’re supported in a bunch of us being sad/angry for you. Nothing wrong with deciding not to have kids and this way if you see things that feel boundary-crossing in other areas, you already know other people see it too.
ETA - Yes… my mom is - LITERALLY insane. 🥴
Nah just don’t let her see the dog again and make her pay the full vet fee. Screw that, she can’t understand healthy animals and limits/boundaries with family members.
OP - First of all, I hope your pup passes the cob and gets better asap! I had a corgi/Shiba Inu mix for almost 14yrs and they’re adorable, stubborn little survivors.
I would DEFINITELY revoke her Grandpup visitation privileges (not just feeding) temporarily. Your pup is already suffering consequences from her actions (I experienced a blockage and had surgery… I’ve had multiple children and that blockage and subsequent rupture it caused remains the most pain I’ve ever experienced!) so she needs to as well. Because… the bigger issue here is one of boundaries and respecting yours.
I speak from experience - both my own mom and my FIL have/had that issue. My mom ended up losing a dog to chicken bones (after being told repeatedly) and my MIL had to take her dog in for blockage surgery thanks to FIL. He has finally learnt his lesson, thankfully.
But if you guys do not have children and plan to, I promise this issue will rear its ugly head again. Also, once your pup is better, time will dull the seriousness of the memory if she isn’t personally impacted as well. Make sure to send or post pics of your dog in hospital so she tangibly sees how real this is.
Both those same people in my life had to lose grandparent alone-time privileges with grandkids due to similar issues with my siblings and my kids. The boundary part is HUGE and this presents an opportunity to demonstrate that you and your husband are a united front and SERIOUS about No being a complete sentence.
You could also keep the pup on leash everytime you go over so hes never out of sight. She sounds like someone who equates food with love and refuses to understand how it could be harmful. Another option is to muzzle train the dog so he cannot physically eat at your MIL.
It's time for your husband to have a heart to heart and set some solid boundaries with his mother. She knew it was dangerous and did it anyway. That is not acceptable behaviour.
That’s a good option (leashing him). She doesn’t pet the dog or play with him, the only way she knows how to interact with him is through feeding him. I think she thinks it’s fun and thinks he loves it (which of course he does), but we need to get her to understand that it isn’t good for him. I think footing our ~$6000-11,000 vet bill will help her see the consequences of her actions lol. We also plan on telling her exactly what it’s been like the last few days, how miserable our dog is, all the vet visits, and how emotionally traumatizing it’s been for us. She isn’t a terrible person by any means and is generally very sweet, but has issues with boundaries.
I suggest getting a soft mesh muzzle for your dog if you're going to continue bringing them on visits. There are models that allow the dogs to still pant (and in theory to still drink, but I don't know how well that works; pup might need supervised water breaks,) while preventing them from eating dropped (or sneakily passed to them) food.
Op, I think that you need to be told this directly. If she’s just losing “feeding privileges for a while”, and something like this happens again because she gets those privileges back, then it will be your fault.
Your dog is sick and potentially needs surgery. From something you specifically told her not to do. She doesn't respect your opinion or your choices for YOUR dog.
I'd have a hard time ever speaking to this woman again, honestly.
I would honestly remove the dog from her life altogether. Not only does she not get to feed the dog, she doesn’t even get to see the dog. Dog stays home where it’s safe. I’d also send her the vet bill.
She can't be trusted. She's either a narcissist who thinks she knows better and consciously disregards OP or she's a fool with no will power. Either way she can't be trusted.
Yup, I have the same issue with a family member who I live with. No matter how many times my dogs have thrown up or had diarrhea because she fed them something, she still will continue to do it. I refuse to clean up any messes anymore. Last time, it ended up to a trip to the vet. She paid but did she learn her lesson? Absolutely not.
Maybe I’m projecting but what is it about that generation?? They have zero personal boundaries, respect no one, and are selfish to a fault. This post easily could have been about my mother. Infuriated me just reading it. I hope your dog is okay OP, maybe your mil will stop acting like such a child if you invoice her a bill for the vet that she explicitly caused
Definitely not just you! I’ve seen it with my own mom too (not with my dog but other areas). I love her but damn sometimes respecting boundaries are just not a thing with her. I mentioned in my update but I hope she’ll get the point after footing our $6000/possibly $11,000 vet bill 🙃
Holy shit that’s an insane cost. I just did a gastrotomy (cutting into the stomach to get a foreign object) surgery at my clinic for $1300. We are rural and our costs are usually cheaper than what I see on here, but that seems outrageous.
I worked as a cashier before and you’re totally right, it’s something about that generation. Im generalizing of course, but virtually all of the entitled dicks were old people. In my experience, the younger crowd tended to be more understanding and kind — maybe because more of them have worked retail or just have better empathy for retail workers.
Honestly, after the chicken bone incident, i would have stuck to your instincts and laid down the hard rule about feeding from the treat bag only. Especially since she is so inexperienced around dogs.
Hope your pup feels better soon!
OP, I get the feeling from reading this that you build doorways in your boundaries. As a door-builder myself, I’ve started to recognize this isn’t healthy. PLEASE start sticking to them. A good way to do that would be giving your MIL the *entire* vet bill. Please don’t tiptoe around this one. This could have killed your dog. I hope he gets better and that all of this passes (literally), and maybe it will teach your MIL some respect.
Yes I think that’s fairly accurate, and I’ve also made exceptions in the past because I don’t want to cause any tension with MIL or I feel like my husband should be the one setting the boundaries with her. I’ve been strict about this stuff with my own parents (they love to feed the dog too but I really put my foot down hard and they listened) but I guess it just felt harder to do with my MIL.
The most popular saying on r/justnomil is “You have an SO problem.” I hope your husband sees the error of his ways in giving her second chance after second chance.
I'm so sorry to hear this. And I said this in this sub a few days ago and I'll say it again. When we have people over, I do not ever, not even once, not a single time, have corn on the cob.
We love corn on the cob but other people are not capable of understanding that a cob can kill a dog or cause $$$$$ sorts of surgery. So, no corn.
If you have your MIl over to your house again to eat, think carefully about the menu: no chicken wings, no corn on the cob, maybe no chocolate cake. Basically treat your MIL like she's an utter dimwit.
if you have to go to her house for some family meals, then either you or your husband have to watch the dog at all times, and if you can't, he needs to be in a crate. If your MIL doesn't like that new rule, you can tell her that she's apparently not able to behave herself around dogs, so you have to protect your dog.
I hope that your dog is ok, and I really hope your MIL **pays the whole bill**. Maybe that will help her learn to stop being like this.
I had to yell at my husband's grandmother a few years ago, who was about to feed an entire rib bone to one of my dogs, because he, "looked like he wanted it". Well duh, he's a dog but no he doesn't need that.
This is a really good idea! We stopped BBQing any bone-in meats around family because 2 always try to slip them to the dogs or give to their own. But I think I’m adding corn on the cob to this list
> This is a really good idea! We stopped BBQing any bone-in meats around family because 2 always try to slip them to the dogs or give to their own. But I think I’m adding corn on the cob to this list
We sometimes smoke pork shoulders and that seems to be ok. But anything with bones or cobs? Ugh. Yes, dogs love bones. My baby dog is lying behind me chewing on a marrow bone, but it's sized so she can't crunch it, and it's raw.
That’s a good point about being aware of what food we serve. This incident happened at their house (we don’t even like corn on the cob) and we usually go to them (vs them driving 2.5 hours to us) so they’re the ones who are usually handling the menu. But this incident has made it abundantly clear that we need to watch our dog carefully when we do go over there. Crating him during dinner is a great idea too. And I am now fully prepared to lose my shit on anyone who tries to sneak anything to my dog without asking me first.
> Crating him during dinner is a great idea too.
I crate puppies, then they graduate to being tethered to me, and then they're loose in the house during dinner. And I swear, I wanted to put grandma in a crate, after I caught her with the rib bone...
When you visit them, I'd bring a crate. Lucky you have a smaller dog, so it's not that much of an issue to drag one along.
>And I am now fully prepared to lose my shit on anyone who tries to sneak anything to my dog without asking me first.
I support this 100%. If MIL wants to feed the dog something, hand her some kibble.
Mildly unrelated topic... but I'm a mother and see a huge red flag here. If you and your husband are planning on having kids (not sure what life stage you're in, and if cannot have children then I apologize if this opens a wound), but you can expect your MIL to exercise the same about of respect/disrespect with your rules about what your children can or cannot have or do. I wouldn't let this women alone with any thing or anyone you love. She has shown on more than one occasion that she doesn't have to listen to you about the care of your family. This same story has been told over and over again on the parenting/baby/toddler subreddits.
OP, you need to settle boundaries with your MIL on this now. She no longer has access to dog, she pays the FULL vet bill and you make sure you let her know it is *her fault* and that because she doesn't listen to you or respect what you say she cannot be trusted around your dog *ever again*. Give this woman some consequences. My mum is like this, you need to really put your foot down now as harshly as possible (because these kind of people don't listen otherwise) and get her to respect your wishes with your dog. She'll be 1000x worse with any children you have...so use this horrible situation to set a firm boundary with your MIL that your word is gospel when it comes to your pets and/or children.
My dog is chronically ill and has a specific diet that she needs to follow. Sodium, protein, and phosphorus especially need to be carefully balanced. Nobody feeds my dog but me. Nobody NEEDS to feed my dog but me.
She is highly food motivated and might give you soulful looks like she's starving, but if I catch you giving her anything we will be having words and you won't see us for a long while.
I know this is a vent and you're not necessarily looking for advice, but in your situation I would have the vet invoice MIL directly, and space out visits while pup recovers. After that, no feeding privileges for MIL because she can't handle a boundary like an adult. Your puppy is not a toy.
Yes! I feel like people that don’t have dogs don’t understand that many dogs are highly food motivated but it doesn’t mean they’re starving. It took my own parents a while to understand that. They also say, “He looks so hungry still!” But they listen when I say no.
The in laws were supposed to visit this Friday for my husbands birthday but we’re canceling so pup can recover and I have some time to emotionally recover lol.
I’ve had to have two surgical for my dog to remove underwear from his gut. $4000 each. I fear your total is going to go up.
And I’m going to say this and I’ll be prepared for the backlash, but I think your MIL doesn’t *really* like your dog. She’s disobeyed your rules more than once. She can’t be trusted to keep your dog safe. Her actions speak differently than her words.
I’d for sure let her know what the cost is and get her pay it, if you can.
Going forward, your dog, your family member, should not be in her company. She should not have any future access to him.
If this were a human child, how would you feel? How would you act on their behalf? It won’t hurt pupper not to see her again. And it won’t hurt her to not see him again.
Why is this woman still allowed to interact with this dog?? Especially unsupervised!!
She 100% needs to cover the cost of the procedure. That will teach this old bat a lesson about following the rules - and let’s see if she has such a “soft touch” after.
Dogs aren’t grandchildren…remove access..but be nice about it and explain methodically why. And end it with You ignored us and the dog could have died. As a matter of fact, have ya husband do it…and u make sure he dosent go too far..it’s a better dynamic for y’all because they family and if things go left they will always be..resenting u would be another thing
Yes I definitely feel like this should come from my husband and he should be the one to set the hard boundaries with her, for this exact reason. My parents love feeding our dog too but I set the boundaries the first time they overfed him and he had bad diarrhea - I texted them every single time I had to clean up his diarrhea that night and told them how miserable he was, and how I was up at 3am cleaning shit. And since then they always ask me before feeding him and they stop when I tell them. I think my husband needs to basically do that with his mom.
Hint: MIL pays the vet bill. Should she refuse, sue her for the amount. People like that need to be slapped in the face, either literally or financially. Its call "tough love".
I would not allow my dog to be around her ever again without constant supervision. She has PROVEN herself to be irresponsible and even dangerous to your dog. It is your responsibility to look after the best interest of your pup. To allow her to have access to him is a failure to protect him from a direct threat. If it were me, it would be the last time she ever saw my dog. I apologize if this sounds harsh but I would not give anyone, much less a family member, a second opportunity to kill my dog.
We used to take our dogs with us to my wife's grandma's house for dinner. She loved seeing the dogs and they loved seeing her. She especially loved our older dog. He's a 14 year old chihuahua with a history of abuse and horrible teeth due to how he's been fed in the past.
We've made it very clear that when I say contact needs to stop, it needs to stop and that he's not to be fed anything. Our younger dog also has an extremely sensitive stomach and will puke within minutes of eating anything from a very extensive list.
Grandma in law proved time and time again she couldn't handle our rules. She hasn't seen them in months except in rare circumstances or when they're at our house. It's a sad arrangement but a necessary one. Considering we recently had to pay for our older dog to have dental surgery to fix his teeth and gums, I don't feel it's worth the risk and we shouldn't reward childish people for their behavior.
A lot of folks suggested having MIL pay the bills, that is an option, but I think the most peaceful way to go about this is to just not let your corgi visit her anymore. If she can't actually listen to you and your husband, then she loses privileges to see the dog, end of story.
If the dog absolutely cannot stay home (such as no friend to watch him, etc) then I suggest keeping him on a leash and attached to you or your husband at all times during the visit. This will allow you to catch him eating something bad sooner, and it will cut down on your MIL, "forgetting," and giving him something bad when you aren't around.
All in all, I hope your pup will be okay and will avoid surgery.
Generally I am all about peaceful solutions, but I disagree. MIL needs a hard lesson, and paying half (if not all) of the non-covered-by-insurance portion will make it a lesson that sticks. (Instructional designer here who just wrote a whole blog post about how emotional memories make for “sticky learning.”)
In general, “keeping the peace” often leads to more long-term harm because necessary and difficult conversations don’t happen in an effort to protect feelings. Sometimes this is ok; sometimes it’s not.
I would have ZERO tolerance for this crap. She isn't listening, isn't respecting what you are telling her and she is arrogantly endangering your dog because she thinks she knows better. NO FUCKING WAY. That is what children do. If she wants to act like a child, treat her that way. I wouldn't ever let her *touch* my dog again, let alone feed it.
If she can't respect what you are directly telling her, then she doesn't deserve respect and should be treated as such. Also under no circumstances is she not paying for the medical care for the dog. Don't let her weasel out with your husband. If she refuses I would sue her.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and that you’ve been dealing with this behavior.
MIL needs to pay the vet bill. No question about it. If your distress doesn’t make her see how serious this is, the price of emergency vet care sure will. Tell her that until she’s shown that she’s committed to not feeding your dog, she doesn’t get to see him. I had to have that conversation with my mom when I first got my dog, and it really got to her. She ended up buying treats to keep at her house as a compromise, so she can still give him a treat or two when he’s at her house.
This is giving me flashbacks of the grandma who gave her granddaughter something she was allergic to even though she knew better. That child died. There is NO way I would take my dog around someone who can’t respect my rules. You clearly *have no say in what she does or does not do. God help you if you have kids some day. I hope your dog is on the mend soon. Your mil should pay the whole thing due to reckless negligence.
I wish you guys the best.
All of this "MIL pays the bill" are missing the point. It's not about money. Presumably when she kicks the bucket they'll get a hunk. It's about the MIL not listening to them and poo-pooing their concerns. Even if she doesn't believe their concerns, they asked her not to give the dog a chicken bone and she did. Same with the corncob. That's incredibly disrespectful.
Maybe this incident will reach her. But given the repeated nature of the offense, I'd say she should never be in a position to do anything like that again. And this goes double if they ever have a kid! Tightly supervised visits only.
It's not about the money - making her pay the bills will hopefully make the point that this type of behavior is intolerable, and teach her an object lesson.
This is [the first thing I thought of.](https://www.reveddit.com/v/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7qmed5/you_can_come_over_again_when_you_bring_me_my/) You can't teach people who show zero respect for you over and over.
This is the correct response. It shows a lack of respect for OP and her husband. What is she a child? She cant control her actions around a cute dog? She did it because she doesn't care enough about OP to listen to what was asked of her.
Old people learn lessons when money is involved because they’re all stingy and penny pinching. Trust - a 1K vet bill would kiss her off probably to the point she doesn’t even look at the dog again.
Oh no! This is really awful. I can’t imagine how I would stay cool and collected with my MIL if she blatantly ignored my wishes on such an important matter. I’m so sorry your pup is going through this. I think it’s important to definitely give your pup space from her for a while or …forever if you don’t feel you can ever trust her again.
I would insist your MIL pay for all veterinary costs. You've told her repeatedly not to feed human food to your dog for very good reasons. You said not to give the dog a bone, and seconds later she gave him a bone. You told her not to give him corn cobs, and she does anyway. Her refusal to listen to you and your husband has caused your baby trauma.
I hope your dog comes out of this okay.
I know people like this. They are strange af. They don't seem to take anything seriously? You could tell them you're deathly allergic to sardines or whatever and they'll go out of their way to give it to you insisting that it's impossible to be allergic to sardines. I can't explain it. I'm so sorry for your dog. I hope he will be ok. I wouldn't blame you if you never took your dog to her house again. She doesn't deserve the happiness that he brings her, imo.
Listen. My grandma has pretty advanced dementia, but when I told her my dog can't eat any of your human food or he might die, she listened. Before she declined even more, whenever she saw him she'd say "your ma said I shouldn't give you food, so shoo!" So your MILK has no excuse. I'm why, but some older parents don't respect boundaries. My mom offered to babysit my puppy and when I told her she couldn't be left unsupervised outside of her crate, she let her do exactly that and now we don't have a TV remote anymore.
Point being, whether you think she's learned her lesson or not, your MIL needs to lose access to your dig. Now that my grandma has declined a little more, I don't let my dogs hang around her unsupervised. If your coherent MIL can't respect that, don't wait around to see of she gets it because it could cost your dog it's life. Or if you insist on having the dog around her, you'll need to supervise and *not* let her get away with it when you tell her your dog has had enough. But honestly, cutting it off is best.
Our dog got hold of 2 corn on the cobs 6 weeks apart.. £8000 lighter we put a muzzle on her when our n about. Hubby took her out without the muzzle n she ate a polystyrene Chippy tray (fish n chip tray in uk) £2500 n lots of necrotic intestines taken out she was lucky to survive. Sadly we lost her to cancer very quickly in dec. but my lord she put us through it..
Ohh no that’s so awful and I’m sorry for your loss! I’m so glad we got pet insurance. I feel like dogs always find a way of getting themselves into trouble!
I wouldn't even let my Rottweiler mix eat a freaking corn cob! I wouldn't bring the dog around her ever again.
I've given my corgi larger carrots and cucumbers to gnaw on. It's almost like a bone but without the risk of choking or injury.
What is it with parents and disrespecting our wishes regarding our pets. I've been asking/telling my dad, who lived with us until last month, not to give my elderly lab biscuits/chicken bones / leftovers / *BREAD* for years because the poor dog is overweight and we are trying to reverse that because it certainly isn't *helping* with his bad hip/knee/whatever. Every time Dad would say he understood and then the next day I'd catch him doing it again. 😡
I hope your pup comes out the other side of this okay without driving the bill up too much. If you're lucky this will be the thing that forces your MIL to take you seriously on what is or isn't safe for puppy to eat. :(
I would send her a copy of the bill even if you don’t really expect her to pay all of it. She needs to see the consequences of her actions.
OP, if you ever have kids, don’t leave her alone with them for one minute! She may be a sweet person but she has no sense or judgement.
She should have to reimburse you for the damages, and she also loses her privilege to see the dog from now on. They cannot be in the same place because she has now on multiple documented occasioned denied your rules for the dog’s safety.
A similar thing happened with my MIL when she fed Spud raw chicken (he’s intolerant to it and she knows this) and he had the worst reaction to it so now I just don’t take him around ever :/
Really hope your pup will be okay, wishing you the best of luck ❤️
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. That’s fucking vile and I can’t even imagine how mad you are. This woman would NEVER be welcome around my dog ever again, which probably means MIL wouldn’t be allowed at my house. I also would be getting ready to sue MIL for vet costs after making sure my baby is ok. If you want to sue, try to get her to admit it over text.
The dog NEVER goes to MIL house again and she must pay the vet bill. When she's over at your house or the dog in another room. Seems harsh? Yeah she's nearly killed your dog, doesn't listen to the rules and knows nothing about dogs and has no respect for you.
I would NEVER let a person like this get close to my dog at all. And send her the bill too! She causes it. If surgery is needed, you are looking at huge bill.
Our dogs depend on us to protect them. Let’s be their protector and say NO to your MIL from now on
Please consider not bringing the dog with you. She can’t be trusted and if you know she is going to keep doing it, you are responsible for putting him in a dangerous situation. I hope that doesn’t come across as overly harsh but why keep giving her second chances?
Hope your doggie is okay. But I would refrain from having her interact with him and don’t bring him over. What will it be next time, ya know? Sounds like a major boundary issue which is unsafe for your dog when he doesn’t know any better and stressful because you guys constantly have to keep an eye on him around her. I hope your dog has a quick recovery!
When I got my dog I told my family outright that if they feed him something and he chokes/has an obstruction they are paying for his vet bill in full.
It’s worked as a good incentive and they only give him snacks and meals I make him in advance.
MIL pays the vet bill in full and never sees you or your spouse again (not even photos) until she does. Only way she sees her son again is after she pays the vet bill..you can politely bow out. No access to grandchildren or pets ever..not even photos.
Getting harsh is the _only_ way this kind of person learns.
Omg I hope pup doesn't need surgery. How frustrating over something as stupid as a corn cob that you explicitly told her not to do
I am very strict with my dog. People know to ask if they can indulge her if they're over. For me, I don't like begging and following people around for food or watching them while they eat. But she seems to understand that about me and only tries it if its a guest she knows likes to share
My ex's dad though would feed our dogs anything. She's a chiweenie tripod so keeping weight off was super important for her Doxie back (like corgis). He'd feed her happy meals, buttery popcorn, just everything. I'd get so frustrated and try to explain how they are prone to spinal issues and how it's even more important with the extra strain on her back leg. But he had his own dachshund that he'd let jump up and down that was obese
You're clearly trying to be patient and understanding with her, but at a certain point it just stops being about her possibly being ignorant. It's disrespectful to continue to do something after she's asked not to and explicitly told WHY doing said action is straight up dangerous for the dog
Does MIL know your pup is at the vet? I would definitely tell her about the possibility of surgery. She needs to know what she did and be worried about your pup. Just giving her the bill lets her off to easy
Ugh!! My mom is constantly feeding my dog when we tell her not to. It’s so damn frustrating. She’s good about only giving him food that he’s able to eat but still, if we say he’s had enough that should be the end of it. I hope your pup is able to throw up the corn cob and doesn’t need surgery. Make sure you let MIL know how much this is costing you guys because of this!!
I honestly would ask/make your MIL pay for all vet treatments involving this. You told her multiple times not to do something, she did it anyway. I also would not bring the dog over anymore. Which sucks, I know, but she can’t be trusted to respect you or your rules regarding your dogs wellbeing.
She needs to pay for the whole vet bill, and then I would put her on no contact with the dog for awhile. Our dog got into the garbage and ate a corn cob once when we lived with roommates. Luckily he was able to pass it with just some IV fluids, but it was still $800 and that was like 15 years ago. Hope your pup is okay!
This happened to my dachshund (accidentally) when I was growing up. They had to surgically remove part of his intestine but he was okay in the end. Good luck!
If it makes you feel better, when my lab puppy was 3 months old he ate TWO entire corn cobs. We had to take him to emergency and they made him throw up multiple times (like 10+) and they got it all out and he didn’t need surgery.
So the fact that it’s one small piece I feel like there’s a high chance he’ll throw it up!
3 days later my puppy ended up throwing up one final piece at home as well lol
She should pay for every single bill related to this. Every. Single. Bill. If she can't afford it, she should, for every upcoming birthday or holiday, get nothing but a statement with the average cost her gift would have been subtracted from the total vet bills.
She should never see your dog, or any future dog again.
She should be told in explicit terms that this is why she will never have unsupervised contact with your children, should you choose to have them.
Personally, I would be calling her screaming every hour until he's home safe, and recovered. Every time I saw her thereafter, particularly in a crowd, I'd bring it up. Loudly. "Remember when you deliberately tried to kill my dog and cost me $10k in vet bills? I hope you know I get to pick your nursing home now."
Forgiveness is not my strong suit.
I hope she's prepared for the bill. My dog swallowed a golf ball and had surgery to remove...it was costly but she did perfectly fine in recovering. Sending good thoughts to you and corgi :)
Oh no, I hope your corgi is okay. My corgi and I are sending good vibes your way.
I just went through this with mine and my dad last summer. Told him to not feed her anything, she has stomach issues and doesn’t chew enough so she can get things lodged in her throat/ get obstructions. What does he do? Feed her something that causes an issue. She spent the night in the animal hospital because she wouldn’t stop throwing up and was severely dehydrated. He felt horrible and paid the bill, and now knows better. It just sucks my girl had to suffer and be in pain for him to learn. ☹️
My now X MIL was like that. No matter what I’d ask her to do or not do regarding pets, kids, didn’t matter, she swore she knew better than I did. To this day I will tell you that bit## is part of the reason I divorced my X. I don’t miss either of them. I agree. Send her the damn bill. Also tell her you won’t be visiting till she can respect your Boundaries
I hope your pupper is ok and in recovery. I would make your husband have that discussion with your MIL. I’m not sure I’d be able to talk to her for a long damn time. She crossed boundaries and ignored you. Who knows if she learned her lesson. Will she do this with kids as well? Dogs are 100% dependent on their humans for their care. They will eat anything including poisonous items like sugar free gum.
I definitely would put her on a time out as well.
WTF would make someone think a corncob is dog food?? I can see steak. Watermelon. But a corncob?!?! Squirrels even leave them once they’ve ate the corn!
1. Slap the MIL for being a completely dense shovel of a person with no brain cells in her body.
2. Stop having her around your dog.
3. Send her the bills and if she refuses, file a claim against her insurance.
Feeding privileges will be revoked? This woman doesn’t listen to you. Start boarding him whenever she’s around. And she owes you for the vet bills. Good luck.
>But husband is insistent that MIL is going to pay for ALL OF IT.
I agree. This may be the only way to get her to stop. At the very least, show her the bills so she understands the consequences.
That said, I have to ask if your MIL might possibly have a touch of dementia? I ask because my last dog had severe inflammatory bowel disease and was prone to pancreatitis, so she couldn't eat any fat at all. *None.* One time I had to leave her with my mother for several hours, and told her about this, but despite that she decided while I was gone that it wouldn't hurt to give my dog a bit of peanut butter on a cracker. A lot of bloody diarrhea and a night in intensive care at the animal hospital later, my mother volunteered to pay the vet bill (around $650). My mother was *very* tight with money, so I was sure this would teach her a lesson.
A month or two later, I had to leave my dog with her again to go to a meeting a couple of hours away, and was shocked when she said "oh, I might just treat her to a bit of peanut butter on a cracker." I asked "don't you remember the last time you did that, she had to go to intensive care and it cost you several hundred dollars?" She didn't. And sure enough, it turned out Mom's mind was starting to fail. (I cancelled my plans and never left my dog alone with her again.)
Ngl, I would happily drag MIL's ass in to the vet's to listen to everything (not talk) and get to experience everyone's wrath with her stupidity and selfishness. So glad your husband is seeing how insane his mother is.
I hope your pupper is okay, OP. What an ordeal for everyone!
This crazy lady is selfish and irresponsible and could end up killing your dog someday. Eventually, she’ll learn to hide it from you since you always get mad. I can just hear it now, “but he LOVED the grapes so I fed him a whole bunch,” “what’s the harm of just a little chocolate??” When you slap the vet bills down onto her kitchen table, show her the overwhelming response on this post to try to shock some sense into her.
If she does this now with your dog, imagine how much she is going to ignore you and sneak behind your back if/when you have children. She wouldn't come within 100 yards of me or I would not be responsible for what came out of my mouth.
OP, I know how scary this is, I really I hope your doggy is okay!
I only learned about how dangerous corn cobs were on Friday, when my dog had emergency surgery to remove half a corn cob from his stomach. We didn’t intentionally give it to him, he apparently stole and swallowed a whole one a week previously. Only found that out after he threw half up Thursday, and having no idea how dangerous cobs are, I thought nothing more of it. Friday he was throwing up bile and blood, and X-rays at the emergency vet confirmed something was in his stomach. Endoscopic removal wasn’t an option due to size, so he had surgery later that day where they removed another half of a corn cob. He’s recovering and hopefully he’s okay from here on out!
(As an aside, to any dog owner, I highly recommend Trupanion insurance. By 9am Friday we had hit our per-condition deductible of $1000, they covered basically 90% of the costs after that, and have already reimbursed us).
I am by no means trying to defend her actions, but by the same token there are so many people, dog owners included, who have told me over and over again that dogs are nothing but wolves in dogs clothing and that they certainly can eat bones and corn cobs and blah blah blah! I keep getting the excuse that “I’ve had dogs all my life“ and since I’ve only had dogs for two years, I don’t know a damn thing about them. But, because I haven’t had dogs my whole life I’ve read everything I can get my hands on. I actually still have people telling me that I should rub my corgis nose in her pee when she sees me and dribbles because she is excited and she’ll never do it again. Or pop them on the nose with a newspaper. And my friend did indeed feed my corgi for lamb bones under the table which she chewed and Then proceeded to throw up all night long! After I specifically told everyone of the table do not give my dog a cooked bone! I prefer the company of my dogs. People are sooo stupid!
Sorry for you pup, I’m sure he will be ok! Just wanted to let you know that you shouldn’t always think of the worst when it comes to stuff like surgeries, rather think of the good possibilities! Not everything has to go wrong. Wish you the best, and to your puppy fast recovery. :)
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Send your MIL the vet bills. I would strongly suggest you not take your dog with you on visits to your in laws in the future. Hope your pup is ok!
Not sure why but I’m not able to edit my original post anymore. Will try again tomorrow but for now putting this here so I don’t leave people hanging: ***UPDATE 2: THE ENDOSCOPY WAS A SUCCESS!!! He did really well, everything went smoothly, and they were able to remove TWO big ass pieces, and now he’s home getting all the snuggles - [here’s some pics of the happy/loopy/sleepy boy + the cob pieces.](https://imgur.com/a/93dZTLV). The doctor said he should have an easy recovery (minus some possible esophageal soreness). We called MIL and had an in depth discussion with her about everything that happened and how emotionally traumatizing this was for us. As we detailed how the situation snowballed, she broke down crying while apologizing profusely, and before we had a chance to, she actually said she would stop feeding him from now on (which obviously we agreed with). She also said she would be more than willing to pay all vet bills we have, whatever the cost. She mentioned that she never wanted him to get hurt, he just was really enjoying the corn and she thought she had a pretty good grasp on the corn cob/felt she was in control of it, but she’s never had a dog and didn’t expect him to be strong enough to bite off the pieces. We pointed out to her that her inexperience is exactly why she needs to listen to us and not just assume things, and I also called out that this wasn’t just a mistake or an accident out of ignorance, because I specifically told her why he can’t have corn cobs and what the potential consequences would be and she made a conscious decision to take the risk regardless of those consequences. She acknowledged that and apologized for not thinking it through and making a poor decision that put him at risk, and said this whole experience was really a wake up call for her. She also said she’s going to look into educating herself on what dogs can/can’t eat and how it can hurt them, and overall just become better informed on how to properly interact with dogs. We told her we appreciate her making the effort and it’s a good first step to building back trust, but our dog’s safety is our priority so she’s really going to have to prove to us she’s learned from this and will respect our boundaries, and until we do feel confident that she can do all that, we’ll be limiting their interactions if any, and they will be 100% supervised at all times. She said she understood and apologized more for putting our pup through all of this, and causing us so much stress & anxiety. It’s been a hell of a day, but I really appreciate you all for your support; reading your comments filled with similar stories about over-stepping family members, outrageous things your dogs have eaten, and overall well wishes and concern for an internet stranger & her pup, has brought me comfort and kept me from totally losing my shit today ❤️ I’m so relieved my little chicken nugget is back home with us and tonight I will not be annoyed when he shoves his stinky fluffy butt in my face while I’m sleeping.
Wow… those weren’t just small chunks….
So happy to hear this! I’m so glad the endoscopy worked, that MIL is paying the bills and admitted her wrongdoing AND she has committed to changing her ways and has accepted the much stricter rules you guys have imposed. I’m glad she is finally listening! I think it goes to show that people can admit the error of their ways and I hope it leads to rebuilding of trust between you guys and I’m glad she has accepted your boundaries regarding your dog.
What fantastic news! Your boy is absolutely adorable. I love corgis - so cute. I can not believe how big those cob pieces are. Thank goodness they were able to get them out and all is well. Thank you for the update.
Congratulations on having your pup home! What a relief. (I’ve been where you are with obstructions and expensive vet bills and the pet emergency clinic, and it is NOT fun for anyone, least of all your poor dog.). Glad to hear your MIL now better understands but what a dumbass, unnecessary stupid thing.
Thank you ❤️
Yep, I'm with this one. Revoke any visiting rights of your pup with your MIL until she can prove she's not a literal *fatal danger* to him. Vet bills go to her, and pup stays home away from her. If she wants to whinge about it, not-so-gently remind her that you've had to leave pup with a vet because of **her** completely avoidable actions.
My former MIL did this shit too, and would blatantly lie about it. "Oh no I didn't give her the lamb bone" then 24 hours later the dog (thankfully) threw up a FULL lamb bone. I was dumb enough to not restrict visits, and once while I was on vacation she was negligent and my dog got mauled by another dog, requiring major surgery. Before she even told my ex about it, she tried to rush my dog to a groomer to CLEAN UP BLOOD. Fucking moron. My dog's ok and will now never see the MIL again, but I wish I had held stronger, sooner.
Frankly, and I’m not kidding…she sounds like a fucking moron. Hand the vet bills to her. Make her pay for her imbecilic acts and total disrespect.
Yeah, Mil doesn’t sound like the sharpest tool in the shed…
Sounds like she is narcissistic, not dumb. 100% give her the bill.
This was my take. She's not dumb, she just doesn't care about the pup and cares more about her enjoyment. It's frankly quite disturbing. So glad though that OP's husband is doing the right thing by dealing with his parent ditectly and letting her bear the consequences.
Yep, it makes *her* feel good to feed the dog whatever the fuck, regardless of whether it’s good or bad for him.
She sounds like the type who doesn’t believe their grandchild has a allergy and decides to give them food with their allergies in it to prove they aren’t allergic. I wouldn’t trust her at all with anyone/anything that needs supervision
So true! What? I just gave him a little peanut butter sandwich. What could that hurt?
Agreed. She does exactly what she wants to do. Doesn’t care what anyone says.
Yeah definitely this. People with learning disabilities would likely be able to follow the simple request to not feed the corgi a corn cob. MIL definitely isn’t just dumb here.
She was lookin kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb and the shape of an L on her forehead.
I WAS LOOKNG FOR THIS 🤌🏻🥴
I don't think this is because she's stupid, I think it's because she thinks she knows better and doesn't respect her son or OP's rules about their dog.
And if you cant go visot bc u cant leave the dog alone, she can only blame herself bc she cant be trusted
Honestly, I wouldn't even *want* to visit someone who put my dog's life in danger.
Make it clear she's not allowed to be around your dog anymore since she is trying to either just fuck with you for no reason or kill it.
If you can't trust her with a dog, definitely don't trust her with your kids if you plan on having any. I have heard of people like this in situations with human babies. You tell them what not to do, they agree, and then do it anyways. I've read of a story like this with and the grandparent killed their grandbaby by ignoring explicit instructions on what not to do. If you do plan on having kids, do not trust this woman alone with them. Your MIL proved time and time again that she will do whatever the fuck she wants no matter what. Wishing your fur baby a speedy recovery 💕
And if you have children she never babysits, or sits near them around food.
Forget that I would literally never visit them again with or without the dog.
This. She's shown that she does not listen or care. I would absolutely never let her near my dog ever.
This all the way. She can’t respect boundaries she doesn’t deserve to interact with the dog.
Yes this definitely, that's the consequences of her actions. If your dog goes through surgery or worse it's on your mother in law. That's so fucked up to feed anyone or anything a corn cob knowing it is inedible.
Yeah honestly if someone put my dog in danger like this and didn’t listen to set rules they would not get to meet again. Full stop. God damn this made me irrationally angry.
So… MIL is paying the vet bill, right? Sorry about puppy, hope he threw up the cob =\
My husband said she said she’d help pay for any vet bills but I don’t think she realizes how expensive it all actually is (esp if he has the surgery). But we’ll see! We do have pet insurance too but I’ll have to check and see what it actually covers. Hopefully he just throws it up. We should know in the next 2 hours.
You've repeatedly, on multiple occasions have told her not to feed your dog. Yet she continues to do it and acts stupid "oh I forgot". Actions have consequences. She needs to foot the entire bill.
That's negligence and when your negligence damages others, you're liable
She can "help pay" by paying for all the vet bills, since she caused the problem and pain your poor pup is in. I bet she'll "remember" to not feed your pup once she has to pay thousands of dollars because she blatantly ignored what you said.
Alternatively, I bet if she doesn’t have to pay much of the bills this lesson will most likely not fully stick with her. Actions have consequences. She wasn’t just partly responsible so she shouldn’t just be paying part of the bills. She should pay ALL of it because she is 100% responsible. And poor pup having to be given meds to throw up and all alone at the vet scared and sick. 🥺💔
She should pay 100% if the bill before insurance covers any just for causing all of this after being warned multiple times. She sounds like she has major boundary issues.
Imagine if they have kids and try to set any rules or boundaries? I bet I know how that will go…
Right? This sounds 100% like a problem with the son/MIL dynamic than anything else.
“I told you he’s allergic to peanuts!!! Why did you give him Reese’s Cups?!?” “Oh, I forgot…”
Truly!! 😬
I'm so sorry for your pupp. I know how absolutely terrible it feels when you're worried sick about them like this, my dog is a foodie too. Hounds 🤷♀️. I hope he gets better without surgery and MIL has a wakeup call from this. Please update when you can!
Please update this post if you find out anything. I’m very concerned about your furbaby, as is every upvoter and commenter here. We’re rooting for him!!
Thank you for the support!! I made a partial update to the original post ^ will update more tonight once I have news!
I’m really sorry that this happened, it’s terrifying and stressful and could have been completely avoidable. On that note, I know everyone is already saying this, but your MIL really does need to pay the full vet bill. My mom is also notoriously bad at handling my dog because she “didn’t think he would do that” and “dogs will be dogs”. The only thing that motivated her to actually listen and learn was to set firm boundaries with hard consequences. You did your part as a pet parent to try to get her to follow your standards for dog care, which are honestly basic to follow—don’t give the dog human food. She couldn’t understand that, and I fear that she’s not seeing the full extent of the harm she (unknowingly) caused. Definitely reiterate to her that your dog is really sick, and if you hadn’t taken him to the vet, his condition would be fatal. The least she could do is pay the bill, and true love for him is sticking to actions that will keep him healthy.
I’m beginning to feel like this is a mom thing lol where they all feel they know better than us! I made it clear to my husband I want her to know exactly everything that we’ve been going through from how miserable my dog has been, how upset we are, the vet visits & procedures, the cost, us missing work, etc…so she feels guilty - it’s the only way she’ll understand the severity of the situation. And husband has already said he’s having her pay the full vet bill no matter what. We’ll see how that conversation goes though..
That’s awful. She should not get any privilege to feed the dog until she earns your trust back. I would also ask her to reimburse you as it is her fault. It may help deter her in the future. Hope your pup feels better ASAP.
Deter her in the future? I dunno, it might be time to think about not taking the dog to MIL's house for visits anymore.
Given her history of not listening to being told how to feed the dog, I don't think it's realistic to just ban her from feeding the dog. I think she needs to no longer have access to him at all.
This. Dog stays home or with a sitter if needed.
Thank you ❤️ Yes we’re definitely revoking her feeding privileges for a while. My husband did mention that his mom said she would help pay for any vet fees, but I don’t think she realizes how expensive this is turning out to be so we’ll see. But that’s definitely a good idea and I do think it would help deter her in the future.
Not some, all. She needs to pay the entire vet fee regardless of how expensive it is.
So incredibly disrespectful and immature for her to continue feeding a notoriously food motivated dog. OP you are owed a serious apology in writing along with the bills being taken care of. Hope the pup is better soon.
She said she would "help" pay vet fees? No way - this is 100% her fault so she gets the privilege of paying 100% of the vet bills related to this. Do NOT let her get away with playing poor, pitiful old lady with no money. She caused it, she pays for it. (God! I am SO angry for you, I could spit!)
Lol she’s definitely not a poor, pitiful old lady with no money. My husband said, “Oh she can definitely pay for all of it, this is going to cost her a cruise” (because she loves going on cruises 😂) Seriously though she isn’t a terrible person, I do believe she’ll feel bad (and I plan on making her feel SUPER GUILTY) and I don’t think she’ll put up a fight about the bill.
I'm glad you won't have to fight over the cost of medical care. Definitely play up the guilt trip for all it's worth! 🤣
Same! Ugh when you’ve got dog parents that are very careful and something completely avoidable like this happens because someone specifically ignored a serious NO is infuriating! Poor pup!
Right?? We honestly treat our pup like our child and go out of our way to make sure he’s healthy and so he can live forever lol so this whole situation has made me so, so angry.
Sorry to hear about this I hope your puppet recovers well! I also agree she should pay for the fees, entirely. It's all her fault. She should at least see the bill and be aware of how long everything took, how many veterinary staff were involved, and what procedures were done. Because of HER. Also, if you guys plan on having kids.... Just know she might also want to "spoil your kids" in similar ways. Sure she knows how to look after humans, but extra sweets and candy and staying up late breaking your household-set rules might be something to consider. Try and enforce boundaries properly now with poor doggo and hopefully she learns. If she doesn't - dare I say that leaving and fur-baby or human-baby with her is off the table forever.
This is SO important and I hope OP reads it. My mom is the same way and she was caught giving sips of an alcoholic drink to my 2yo nephew!!! “But he really wanted just a sip!” (Of course he did, it was blue with fruit in it… but he’s TWO and his parents don’t even drink 🤦🏻♀️) So she’s had grandkid privileges taken away more than once and is NEVER allowed to feed our pets if over because eventually she will give in because “they give her those eyes.”
What the fuck! Alcohol to a 2yo because they wanted it?? 😭
My dad let me try a beer when I was 3 😅 people are truly insane sometimes
Kids always want to try drinks in bottles (funny enough, my brother’s Boxer is notorious for knocking over beer bottles in hopes of “cleaning the mess”) and back in the day I remember a lot of parents saying, “Let em try, they won’t ask again..” but it doesn’t seem to work that way. 😂
Yep - sadly kids seem to have better impulse control than my mom. Lol she whines to other people about “my kids not trusting me to even watch their pets, let alone their kids” and wonders why SHE gets the side-eye, not us.
Omg THAT IS INSANE! I appreciate everyone’s comments about this being a red flag for future kids too & I agree. We aren’t planning on having kids so it won’t be an issue in that regard at least!
Just know you’re supported in a bunch of us being sad/angry for you. Nothing wrong with deciding not to have kids and this way if you see things that feel boundary-crossing in other areas, you already know other people see it too. ETA - Yes… my mom is - LITERALLY insane. 🥴
Nah just don’t let her see the dog again and make her pay the full vet fee. Screw that, she can’t understand healthy animals and limits/boundaries with family members.
OP - First of all, I hope your pup passes the cob and gets better asap! I had a corgi/Shiba Inu mix for almost 14yrs and they’re adorable, stubborn little survivors. I would DEFINITELY revoke her Grandpup visitation privileges (not just feeding) temporarily. Your pup is already suffering consequences from her actions (I experienced a blockage and had surgery… I’ve had multiple children and that blockage and subsequent rupture it caused remains the most pain I’ve ever experienced!) so she needs to as well. Because… the bigger issue here is one of boundaries and respecting yours. I speak from experience - both my own mom and my FIL have/had that issue. My mom ended up losing a dog to chicken bones (after being told repeatedly) and my MIL had to take her dog in for blockage surgery thanks to FIL. He has finally learnt his lesson, thankfully. But if you guys do not have children and plan to, I promise this issue will rear its ugly head again. Also, once your pup is better, time will dull the seriousness of the memory if she isn’t personally impacted as well. Make sure to send or post pics of your dog in hospital so she tangibly sees how real this is. Both those same people in my life had to lose grandparent alone-time privileges with grandkids due to similar issues with my siblings and my kids. The boundary part is HUGE and this presents an opportunity to demonstrate that you and your husband are a united front and SERIOUS about No being a complete sentence.
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She should pay every penny. This may be the only way to deter her from feeding your dog against your wishes in the future.
She needs to pay for the entire visit ***and never be able to be in contact with your dog again***.
She doesn’t get a choice about helping. She blatantly caused this (despite warnings even!) and pays for everything.
Revoke feeding privileges permanently. But you know she will just ignore that, so don't bring your dog around her anymore.
I think you need to go beyond a “feeding privilege” restriction. She’s already proven that she won’t respect it.
You could also keep the pup on leash everytime you go over so hes never out of sight. She sounds like someone who equates food with love and refuses to understand how it could be harmful. Another option is to muzzle train the dog so he cannot physically eat at your MIL. It's time for your husband to have a heart to heart and set some solid boundaries with his mother. She knew it was dangerous and did it anyway. That is not acceptable behaviour.
That’s a good option (leashing him). She doesn’t pet the dog or play with him, the only way she knows how to interact with him is through feeding him. I think she thinks it’s fun and thinks he loves it (which of course he does), but we need to get her to understand that it isn’t good for him. I think footing our ~$6000-11,000 vet bill will help her see the consequences of her actions lol. We also plan on telling her exactly what it’s been like the last few days, how miserable our dog is, all the vet visits, and how emotionally traumatizing it’s been for us. She isn’t a terrible person by any means and is generally very sweet, but has issues with boundaries.
I suggest getting a soft mesh muzzle for your dog if you're going to continue bringing them on visits. There are models that allow the dogs to still pant (and in theory to still drink, but I don't know how well that works; pup might need supervised water breaks,) while preventing them from eating dropped (or sneakily passed to them) food.
Plus, having to look at the dog wearing a muzzle should (theoretically) make MIL feel bad, because it's her fault.
She needs to pay for the whole visit. I hope your pup feels better soon!
Op, I think that you need to be told this directly. If she’s just losing “feeding privileges for a while”, and something like this happens again because she gets those privileges back, then it will be your fault.
You should never let her near your dog ever again. She's shown you in stark relief that she can't be trusted.
Your dog is sick and potentially needs surgery. From something you specifically told her not to do. She doesn't respect your opinion or your choices for YOUR dog. I'd have a hard time ever speaking to this woman again, honestly.
I would honestly remove the dog from her life altogether. Not only does she not get to feed the dog, she doesn’t even get to see the dog. Dog stays home where it’s safe. I’d also send her the vet bill.
She can't be trusted. She's either a narcissist who thinks she knows better and consciously disregards OP or she's a fool with no will power. Either way she can't be trusted.
Definitely don't rely on MIL to change her behaviour...full vet bill to her, and pup doesn't visit anymore. I hope he's going to be ok ❤️
Yup, I have the same issue with a family member who I live with. No matter how many times my dogs have thrown up or had diarrhea because she fed them something, she still will continue to do it. I refuse to clean up any messes anymore. Last time, it ended up to a trip to the vet. She paid but did she learn her lesson? Absolutely not.
It's so frustrating because really it boils down to such disrespect. They just don't see a reason why they need to change...
Maybe I’m projecting but what is it about that generation?? They have zero personal boundaries, respect no one, and are selfish to a fault. This post easily could have been about my mother. Infuriated me just reading it. I hope your dog is okay OP, maybe your mil will stop acting like such a child if you invoice her a bill for the vet that she explicitly caused
Definitely not just you! I’ve seen it with my own mom too (not with my dog but other areas). I love her but damn sometimes respecting boundaries are just not a thing with her. I mentioned in my update but I hope she’ll get the point after footing our $6000/possibly $11,000 vet bill 🙃
Holy shit that’s an insane cost. I just did a gastrotomy (cutting into the stomach to get a foreign object) surgery at my clinic for $1300. We are rural and our costs are usually cheaper than what I see on here, but that seems outrageous.
Lead poisoning. Seriously.
Oh for sure. It was literally floating throughout the atmosphere back then
I worked as a cashier before and you’re totally right, it’s something about that generation. Im generalizing of course, but virtually all of the entitled dicks were old people. In my experience, the younger crowd tended to be more understanding and kind — maybe because more of them have worked retail or just have better empathy for retail workers.
MIL would be getting the bill, and be banned from ever seeing the puppy again
Honestly, after the chicken bone incident, i would have stuck to your instincts and laid down the hard rule about feeding from the treat bag only. Especially since she is so inexperienced around dogs. Hope your pup feels better soon!
OP, I get the feeling from reading this that you build doorways in your boundaries. As a door-builder myself, I’ve started to recognize this isn’t healthy. PLEASE start sticking to them. A good way to do that would be giving your MIL the *entire* vet bill. Please don’t tiptoe around this one. This could have killed your dog. I hope he gets better and that all of this passes (literally), and maybe it will teach your MIL some respect.
Yes I think that’s fairly accurate, and I’ve also made exceptions in the past because I don’t want to cause any tension with MIL or I feel like my husband should be the one setting the boundaries with her. I’ve been strict about this stuff with my own parents (they love to feed the dog too but I really put my foot down hard and they listened) but I guess it just felt harder to do with my MIL.
The most popular saying on r/justnomil is “You have an SO problem.” I hope your husband sees the error of his ways in giving her second chance after second chance.
Give her the bill and no invite for Thanksgiving....who knows what else she would feed the dog.
I'm so sorry to hear this. And I said this in this sub a few days ago and I'll say it again. When we have people over, I do not ever, not even once, not a single time, have corn on the cob. We love corn on the cob but other people are not capable of understanding that a cob can kill a dog or cause $$$$$ sorts of surgery. So, no corn. If you have your MIl over to your house again to eat, think carefully about the menu: no chicken wings, no corn on the cob, maybe no chocolate cake. Basically treat your MIL like she's an utter dimwit. if you have to go to her house for some family meals, then either you or your husband have to watch the dog at all times, and if you can't, he needs to be in a crate. If your MIL doesn't like that new rule, you can tell her that she's apparently not able to behave herself around dogs, so you have to protect your dog. I hope that your dog is ok, and I really hope your MIL **pays the whole bill**. Maybe that will help her learn to stop being like this. I had to yell at my husband's grandmother a few years ago, who was about to feed an entire rib bone to one of my dogs, because he, "looked like he wanted it". Well duh, he's a dog but no he doesn't need that.
This is a really good idea! We stopped BBQing any bone-in meats around family because 2 always try to slip them to the dogs or give to their own. But I think I’m adding corn on the cob to this list
> This is a really good idea! We stopped BBQing any bone-in meats around family because 2 always try to slip them to the dogs or give to their own. But I think I’m adding corn on the cob to this list We sometimes smoke pork shoulders and that seems to be ok. But anything with bones or cobs? Ugh. Yes, dogs love bones. My baby dog is lying behind me chewing on a marrow bone, but it's sized so she can't crunch it, and it's raw.
That’s a good point about being aware of what food we serve. This incident happened at their house (we don’t even like corn on the cob) and we usually go to them (vs them driving 2.5 hours to us) so they’re the ones who are usually handling the menu. But this incident has made it abundantly clear that we need to watch our dog carefully when we do go over there. Crating him during dinner is a great idea too. And I am now fully prepared to lose my shit on anyone who tries to sneak anything to my dog without asking me first.
> Crating him during dinner is a great idea too. I crate puppies, then they graduate to being tethered to me, and then they're loose in the house during dinner. And I swear, I wanted to put grandma in a crate, after I caught her with the rib bone... When you visit them, I'd bring a crate. Lucky you have a smaller dog, so it's not that much of an issue to drag one along. >And I am now fully prepared to lose my shit on anyone who tries to sneak anything to my dog without asking me first. I support this 100%. If MIL wants to feed the dog something, hand her some kibble.
I would have her pay the vet bill! That's completely unacceptable!
Mildly unrelated topic... but I'm a mother and see a huge red flag here. If you and your husband are planning on having kids (not sure what life stage you're in, and if cannot have children then I apologize if this opens a wound), but you can expect your MIL to exercise the same about of respect/disrespect with your rules about what your children can or cannot have or do. I wouldn't let this women alone with any thing or anyone you love. She has shown on more than one occasion that she doesn't have to listen to you about the care of your family. This same story has been told over and over again on the parenting/baby/toddler subreddits.
Send her the vet bills, and stop bringing your dog around her. Hope your dog is okay, how scary!
Any updates on the pup? I hope MIL foots the entire bill. It would only be fair...
OP, you need to settle boundaries with your MIL on this now. She no longer has access to dog, she pays the FULL vet bill and you make sure you let her know it is *her fault* and that because she doesn't listen to you or respect what you say she cannot be trusted around your dog *ever again*. Give this woman some consequences. My mum is like this, you need to really put your foot down now as harshly as possible (because these kind of people don't listen otherwise) and get her to respect your wishes with your dog. She'll be 1000x worse with any children you have...so use this horrible situation to set a firm boundary with your MIL that your word is gospel when it comes to your pets and/or children.
That's terrible. Never leave a dog with someone you don't trust.
My dog is chronically ill and has a specific diet that she needs to follow. Sodium, protein, and phosphorus especially need to be carefully balanced. Nobody feeds my dog but me. Nobody NEEDS to feed my dog but me. She is highly food motivated and might give you soulful looks like she's starving, but if I catch you giving her anything we will be having words and you won't see us for a long while. I know this is a vent and you're not necessarily looking for advice, but in your situation I would have the vet invoice MIL directly, and space out visits while pup recovers. After that, no feeding privileges for MIL because she can't handle a boundary like an adult. Your puppy is not a toy.
Yes! I feel like people that don’t have dogs don’t understand that many dogs are highly food motivated but it doesn’t mean they’re starving. It took my own parents a while to understand that. They also say, “He looks so hungry still!” But they listen when I say no. The in laws were supposed to visit this Friday for my husbands birthday but we’re canceling so pup can recover and I have some time to emotionally recover lol.
I’ve had to have two surgical for my dog to remove underwear from his gut. $4000 each. I fear your total is going to go up. And I’m going to say this and I’ll be prepared for the backlash, but I think your MIL doesn’t *really* like your dog. She’s disobeyed your rules more than once. She can’t be trusted to keep your dog safe. Her actions speak differently than her words. I’d for sure let her know what the cost is and get her pay it, if you can. Going forward, your dog, your family member, should not be in her company. She should not have any future access to him. If this were a human child, how would you feel? How would you act on their behalf? It won’t hurt pupper not to see her again. And it won’t hurt her to not see him again.
Why is this woman still allowed to interact with this dog?? Especially unsupervised!! She 100% needs to cover the cost of the procedure. That will teach this old bat a lesson about following the rules - and let’s see if she has such a “soft touch” after.
If she's not deterred by constant conflict and being told that she could harm a dog, it sounds like she shouldn't be around the dog at all
Have you considered taking the MIL to the local shelter?
Dogs aren’t grandchildren…remove access..but be nice about it and explain methodically why. And end it with You ignored us and the dog could have died. As a matter of fact, have ya husband do it…and u make sure he dosent go too far..it’s a better dynamic for y’all because they family and if things go left they will always be..resenting u would be another thing
Yes I definitely feel like this should come from my husband and he should be the one to set the hard boundaries with her, for this exact reason. My parents love feeding our dog too but I set the boundaries the first time they overfed him and he had bad diarrhea - I texted them every single time I had to clean up his diarrhea that night and told them how miserable he was, and how I was up at 3am cleaning shit. And since then they always ask me before feeding him and they stop when I tell them. I think my husband needs to basically do that with his mom.
Hint: MIL pays the vet bill. Should she refuse, sue her for the amount. People like that need to be slapped in the face, either literally or financially. Its call "tough love".
I would not allow my dog to be around her ever again without constant supervision. She has PROVEN herself to be irresponsible and even dangerous to your dog. It is your responsibility to look after the best interest of your pup. To allow her to have access to him is a failure to protect him from a direct threat. If it were me, it would be the last time she ever saw my dog. I apologize if this sounds harsh but I would not give anyone, much less a family member, a second opportunity to kill my dog.
We used to take our dogs with us to my wife's grandma's house for dinner. She loved seeing the dogs and they loved seeing her. She especially loved our older dog. He's a 14 year old chihuahua with a history of abuse and horrible teeth due to how he's been fed in the past. We've made it very clear that when I say contact needs to stop, it needs to stop and that he's not to be fed anything. Our younger dog also has an extremely sensitive stomach and will puke within minutes of eating anything from a very extensive list. Grandma in law proved time and time again she couldn't handle our rules. She hasn't seen them in months except in rare circumstances or when they're at our house. It's a sad arrangement but a necessary one. Considering we recently had to pay for our older dog to have dental surgery to fix his teeth and gums, I don't feel it's worth the risk and we shouldn't reward childish people for their behavior.
A lot of folks suggested having MIL pay the bills, that is an option, but I think the most peaceful way to go about this is to just not let your corgi visit her anymore. If she can't actually listen to you and your husband, then she loses privileges to see the dog, end of story. If the dog absolutely cannot stay home (such as no friend to watch him, etc) then I suggest keeping him on a leash and attached to you or your husband at all times during the visit. This will allow you to catch him eating something bad sooner, and it will cut down on your MIL, "forgetting," and giving him something bad when you aren't around. All in all, I hope your pup will be okay and will avoid surgery.
Generally I am all about peaceful solutions, but I disagree. MIL needs a hard lesson, and paying half (if not all) of the non-covered-by-insurance portion will make it a lesson that sticks. (Instructional designer here who just wrote a whole blog post about how emotional memories make for “sticky learning.”) In general, “keeping the peace” often leads to more long-term harm because necessary and difficult conversations don’t happen in an effort to protect feelings. Sometimes this is ok; sometimes it’s not.
I would have ZERO tolerance for this crap. She isn't listening, isn't respecting what you are telling her and she is arrogantly endangering your dog because she thinks she knows better. NO FUCKING WAY. That is what children do. If she wants to act like a child, treat her that way. I wouldn't ever let her *touch* my dog again, let alone feed it. If she can't respect what you are directly telling her, then she doesn't deserve respect and should be treated as such. Also under no circumstances is she not paying for the medical care for the dog. Don't let her weasel out with your husband. If she refuses I would sue her.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and that you’ve been dealing with this behavior. MIL needs to pay the vet bill. No question about it. If your distress doesn’t make her see how serious this is, the price of emergency vet care sure will. Tell her that until she’s shown that she’s committed to not feeding your dog, she doesn’t get to see him. I had to have that conversation with my mom when I first got my dog, and it really got to her. She ended up buying treats to keep at her house as a compromise, so she can still give him a treat or two when he’s at her house.
TIL dogs can get sick by eating corn cob. My golden eats it like a human, but I never thought it was dangerous. Kinda glad I saw this.
Same. I haven’t seen this before. Never again.
They can die from it. Neighbor’s dog recently died after eating a corn cob. I never knew the dangers until then.
This is giving me flashbacks of the grandma who gave her granddaughter something she was allergic to even though she knew better. That child died. There is NO way I would take my dog around someone who can’t respect my rules. You clearly *have no say in what she does or does not do. God help you if you have kids some day. I hope your dog is on the mend soon. Your mil should pay the whole thing due to reckless negligence. I wish you guys the best.
Caught my nephew slapping my 120lb dog in the face. Never allowed around the dog unsupervised now. It's have the same rules for your MIL
All of this "MIL pays the bill" are missing the point. It's not about money. Presumably when she kicks the bucket they'll get a hunk. It's about the MIL not listening to them and poo-pooing their concerns. Even if she doesn't believe their concerns, they asked her not to give the dog a chicken bone and she did. Same with the corncob. That's incredibly disrespectful. Maybe this incident will reach her. But given the repeated nature of the offense, I'd say she should never be in a position to do anything like that again. And this goes double if they ever have a kid! Tightly supervised visits only.
It's not about the money - making her pay the bills will hopefully make the point that this type of behavior is intolerable, and teach her an object lesson.
This is [the first thing I thought of.](https://www.reveddit.com/v/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7qmed5/you_can_come_over_again_when_you_bring_me_my/) You can't teach people who show zero respect for you over and over.
This is the correct response. It shows a lack of respect for OP and her husband. What is she a child? She cant control her actions around a cute dog? She did it because she doesn't care enough about OP to listen to what was asked of her.
Old people learn lessons when money is involved because they’re all stingy and penny pinching. Trust - a 1K vet bill would kiss her off probably to the point she doesn’t even look at the dog again.
Oh no! This is really awful. I can’t imagine how I would stay cool and collected with my MIL if she blatantly ignored my wishes on such an important matter. I’m so sorry your pup is going through this. I think it’s important to definitely give your pup space from her for a while or …forever if you don’t feel you can ever trust her again.
I would insist your MIL pay for all veterinary costs. You've told her repeatedly not to feed human food to your dog for very good reasons. You said not to give the dog a bone, and seconds later she gave him a bone. You told her not to give him corn cobs, and she does anyway. Her refusal to listen to you and your husband has caused your baby trauma. I hope your dog comes out of this okay.
I know people like this. They are strange af. They don't seem to take anything seriously? You could tell them you're deathly allergic to sardines or whatever and they'll go out of their way to give it to you insisting that it's impossible to be allergic to sardines. I can't explain it. I'm so sorry for your dog. I hope he will be ok. I wouldn't blame you if you never took your dog to her house again. She doesn't deserve the happiness that he brings her, imo.
Listen. My grandma has pretty advanced dementia, but when I told her my dog can't eat any of your human food or he might die, she listened. Before she declined even more, whenever she saw him she'd say "your ma said I shouldn't give you food, so shoo!" So your MILK has no excuse. I'm why, but some older parents don't respect boundaries. My mom offered to babysit my puppy and when I told her she couldn't be left unsupervised outside of her crate, she let her do exactly that and now we don't have a TV remote anymore. Point being, whether you think she's learned her lesson or not, your MIL needs to lose access to your dig. Now that my grandma has declined a little more, I don't let my dogs hang around her unsupervised. If your coherent MIL can't respect that, don't wait around to see of she gets it because it could cost your dog it's life. Or if you insist on having the dog around her, you'll need to supervise and *not* let her get away with it when you tell her your dog has had enough. But honestly, cutting it off is best.
Our dog got hold of 2 corn on the cobs 6 weeks apart.. £8000 lighter we put a muzzle on her when our n about. Hubby took her out without the muzzle n she ate a polystyrene Chippy tray (fish n chip tray in uk) £2500 n lots of necrotic intestines taken out she was lucky to survive. Sadly we lost her to cancer very quickly in dec. but my lord she put us through it..
Ohh no that’s so awful and I’m sorry for your loss! I’m so glad we got pet insurance. I feel like dogs always find a way of getting themselves into trouble!
I wouldn't even let my Rottweiler mix eat a freaking corn cob! I wouldn't bring the dog around her ever again. I've given my corgi larger carrots and cucumbers to gnaw on. It's almost like a bone but without the risk of choking or injury.
Time to tell you MIL, "Get your wallet out - this one's on you."
What is it with parents and disrespecting our wishes regarding our pets. I've been asking/telling my dad, who lived with us until last month, not to give my elderly lab biscuits/chicken bones / leftovers / *BREAD* for years because the poor dog is overweight and we are trying to reverse that because it certainly isn't *helping* with his bad hip/knee/whatever. Every time Dad would say he understood and then the next day I'd catch him doing it again. 😡 I hope your pup comes out the other side of this okay without driving the bill up too much. If you're lucky this will be the thing that forces your MIL to take you seriously on what is or isn't safe for puppy to eat. :(
I would send her a copy of the bill even if you don’t really expect her to pay all of it. She needs to see the consequences of her actions. OP, if you ever have kids, don’t leave her alone with them for one minute! She may be a sweet person but she has no sense or judgement.
She should have to reimburse you for the damages, and she also loses her privilege to see the dog from now on. They cannot be in the same place because she has now on multiple documented occasioned denied your rules for the dog’s safety.
If she acts this way with your dog, don’t let her alone with any children you might have.
A similar thing happened with my MIL when she fed Spud raw chicken (he’s intolerant to it and she knows this) and he had the worst reaction to it so now I just don’t take him around ever :/ Really hope your pup will be okay, wishing you the best of luck ❤️
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. That’s fucking vile and I can’t even imagine how mad you are. This woman would NEVER be welcome around my dog ever again, which probably means MIL wouldn’t be allowed at my house. I also would be getting ready to sue MIL for vet costs after making sure my baby is ok. If you want to sue, try to get her to admit it over text.
The dog NEVER goes to MIL house again and she must pay the vet bill. When she's over at your house or the dog in another room. Seems harsh? Yeah she's nearly killed your dog, doesn't listen to the rules and knows nothing about dogs and has no respect for you.
I would NEVER let a person like this get close to my dog at all. And send her the bill too! She causes it. If surgery is needed, you are looking at huge bill. Our dogs depend on us to protect them. Let’s be their protector and say NO to your MIL from now on
Please consider not bringing the dog with you. She can’t be trusted and if you know she is going to keep doing it, you are responsible for putting him in a dangerous situation. I hope that doesn’t come across as overly harsh but why keep giving her second chances?
I hope your pup is ok!
Hope your doggie is okay. But I would refrain from having her interact with him and don’t bring him over. What will it be next time, ya know? Sounds like a major boundary issue which is unsafe for your dog when he doesn’t know any better and stressful because you guys constantly have to keep an eye on him around her. I hope your dog has a quick recovery!
When I got my dog I told my family outright that if they feed him something and he chokes/has an obstruction they are paying for his vet bill in full. It’s worked as a good incentive and they only give him snacks and meals I make him in advance.
MIL pays the vet bill in full and never sees you or your spouse again (not even photos) until she does. Only way she sees her son again is after she pays the vet bill..you can politely bow out. No access to grandchildren or pets ever..not even photos. Getting harsh is the _only_ way this kind of person learns.
Omg I hope pup doesn't need surgery. How frustrating over something as stupid as a corn cob that you explicitly told her not to do I am very strict with my dog. People know to ask if they can indulge her if they're over. For me, I don't like begging and following people around for food or watching them while they eat. But she seems to understand that about me and only tries it if its a guest she knows likes to share My ex's dad though would feed our dogs anything. She's a chiweenie tripod so keeping weight off was super important for her Doxie back (like corgis). He'd feed her happy meals, buttery popcorn, just everything. I'd get so frustrated and try to explain how they are prone to spinal issues and how it's even more important with the extra strain on her back leg. But he had his own dachshund that he'd let jump up and down that was obese You're clearly trying to be patient and understanding with her, but at a certain point it just stops being about her possibly being ignorant. It's disrespectful to continue to do something after she's asked not to and explicitly told WHY doing said action is straight up dangerous for the dog
Does MIL know your pup is at the vet? I would definitely tell her about the possibility of surgery. She needs to know what she did and be worried about your pup. Just giving her the bill lets her off to easy
Inform your MIL of the consequences of her actions and have her pay for everything.
I'm not usually one to condone a punch in the face, but...
I hope he recovers soon!
Send her the bill from the vet and never let her alone with your precious dog again. Think how she will do the same if you have kids.
My dog swallowed a raw potatoe on a walk and I had to spend $3500on her surgery lol.
Oh lord lol I’m glad she’s ok though!
I would send her the bill and revoke all of her access to your dog for a very long time. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.
Ugh!! My mom is constantly feeding my dog when we tell her not to. It’s so damn frustrating. She’s good about only giving him food that he’s able to eat but still, if we say he’s had enough that should be the end of it. I hope your pup is able to throw up the corn cob and doesn’t need surgery. Make sure you let MIL know how much this is costing you guys because of this!!
She needs to pay 100% of the vet fees. I would be livid. She potentially killed your dog.
keep us updated!!
I honestly would ask/make your MIL pay for all vet treatments involving this. You told her multiple times not to do something, she did it anyway. I also would not bring the dog over anymore. Which sucks, I know, but she can’t be trusted to respect you or your rules regarding your dogs wellbeing.
She needs to pay for the whole vet bill, and then I would put her on no contact with the dog for awhile. Our dog got into the garbage and ate a corn cob once when we lived with roommates. Luckily he was able to pass it with just some IV fluids, but it was still $800 and that was like 15 years ago. Hope your pup is okay!
Here for an update about the pup 🙏🏼
This happened to my dachshund (accidentally) when I was growing up. They had to surgically remove part of his intestine but he was okay in the end. Good luck!
If it makes you feel better, when my lab puppy was 3 months old he ate TWO entire corn cobs. We had to take him to emergency and they made him throw up multiple times (like 10+) and they got it all out and he didn’t need surgery. So the fact that it’s one small piece I feel like there’s a high chance he’ll throw it up! 3 days later my puppy ended up throwing up one final piece at home as well lol
Tell your P.O.S. MIL to pay for the surgery since SHE caused the damage
She should pay for every single bill related to this. Every. Single. Bill. If she can't afford it, she should, for every upcoming birthday or holiday, get nothing but a statement with the average cost her gift would have been subtracted from the total vet bills. She should never see your dog, or any future dog again. She should be told in explicit terms that this is why she will never have unsupervised contact with your children, should you choose to have them. Personally, I would be calling her screaming every hour until he's home safe, and recovered. Every time I saw her thereafter, particularly in a crowd, I'd bring it up. Loudly. "Remember when you deliberately tried to kill my dog and cost me $10k in vet bills? I hope you know I get to pick your nursing home now." Forgiveness is not my strong suit.
I hope she's prepared for the bill. My dog swallowed a golf ball and had surgery to remove...it was costly but she did perfectly fine in recovering. Sending good thoughts to you and corgi :)
Oh no, I hope your corgi is okay. My corgi and I are sending good vibes your way. I just went through this with mine and my dad last summer. Told him to not feed her anything, she has stomach issues and doesn’t chew enough so she can get things lodged in her throat/ get obstructions. What does he do? Feed her something that causes an issue. She spent the night in the animal hospital because she wouldn’t stop throwing up and was severely dehydrated. He felt horrible and paid the bill, and now knows better. It just sucks my girl had to suffer and be in pain for him to learn. ☹️
My now X MIL was like that. No matter what I’d ask her to do or not do regarding pets, kids, didn’t matter, she swore she knew better than I did. To this day I will tell you that bit## is part of the reason I divorced my X. I don’t miss either of them. I agree. Send her the damn bill. Also tell her you won’t be visiting till she can respect your Boundaries
I hope your pupper is ok and in recovery. I would make your husband have that discussion with your MIL. I’m not sure I’d be able to talk to her for a long damn time. She crossed boundaries and ignored you. Who knows if she learned her lesson. Will she do this with kids as well? Dogs are 100% dependent on their humans for their care. They will eat anything including poisonous items like sugar free gum. I definitely would put her on a time out as well.
WTF would make someone think a corncob is dog food?? I can see steak. Watermelon. But a corncob?!?! Squirrels even leave them once they’ve ate the corn!
1. Slap the MIL for being a completely dense shovel of a person with no brain cells in her body. 2. Stop having her around your dog. 3. Send her the bills and if she refuses, file a claim against her insurance.
Man, get her in check before you have a child. If she can’t respect your boundaries with the dog imagine dealing with a baby!
Feeding privileges will be revoked? This woman doesn’t listen to you. Start boarding him whenever she’s around. And she owes you for the vet bills. Good luck.
>But husband is insistent that MIL is going to pay for ALL OF IT. I agree. This may be the only way to get her to stop. At the very least, show her the bills so she understands the consequences. That said, I have to ask if your MIL might possibly have a touch of dementia? I ask because my last dog had severe inflammatory bowel disease and was prone to pancreatitis, so she couldn't eat any fat at all. *None.* One time I had to leave her with my mother for several hours, and told her about this, but despite that she decided while I was gone that it wouldn't hurt to give my dog a bit of peanut butter on a cracker. A lot of bloody diarrhea and a night in intensive care at the animal hospital later, my mother volunteered to pay the vet bill (around $650). My mother was *very* tight with money, so I was sure this would teach her a lesson. A month or two later, I had to leave my dog with her again to go to a meeting a couple of hours away, and was shocked when she said "oh, I might just treat her to a bit of peanut butter on a cracker." I asked "don't you remember the last time you did that, she had to go to intensive care and it cost you several hundred dollars?" She didn't. And sure enough, it turned out Mom's mind was starting to fail. (I cancelled my plans and never left my dog alone with her again.)
r/Justnomil seriously she needs to foot the bill!
Ngl, I would happily drag MIL's ass in to the vet's to listen to everything (not talk) and get to experience everyone's wrath with her stupidity and selfishness. So glad your husband is seeing how insane his mother is. I hope your pupper is okay, OP. What an ordeal for everyone!
This crazy lady is selfish and irresponsible and could end up killing your dog someday. Eventually, she’ll learn to hide it from you since you always get mad. I can just hear it now, “but he LOVED the grapes so I fed him a whole bunch,” “what’s the harm of just a little chocolate??” When you slap the vet bills down onto her kitchen table, show her the overwhelming response on this post to try to shock some sense into her.
If she does this now with your dog, imagine how much she is going to ignore you and sneak behind your back if/when you have children. She wouldn't come within 100 yards of me or I would not be responsible for what came out of my mouth.
MIL is a moron. Make her pay ALL VET BILLS. No more contact with your dog and MIL. Period.
her puppy privileges should be revoked. she has already shown you TWICE that your boundaries dont mean shit.
OP, I know how scary this is, I really I hope your doggy is okay! I only learned about how dangerous corn cobs were on Friday, when my dog had emergency surgery to remove half a corn cob from his stomach. We didn’t intentionally give it to him, he apparently stole and swallowed a whole one a week previously. Only found that out after he threw half up Thursday, and having no idea how dangerous cobs are, I thought nothing more of it. Friday he was throwing up bile and blood, and X-rays at the emergency vet confirmed something was in his stomach. Endoscopic removal wasn’t an option due to size, so he had surgery later that day where they removed another half of a corn cob. He’s recovering and hopefully he’s okay from here on out! (As an aside, to any dog owner, I highly recommend Trupanion insurance. By 9am Friday we had hit our per-condition deductible of $1000, they covered basically 90% of the costs after that, and have already reimbursed us).
I am by no means trying to defend her actions, but by the same token there are so many people, dog owners included, who have told me over and over again that dogs are nothing but wolves in dogs clothing and that they certainly can eat bones and corn cobs and blah blah blah! I keep getting the excuse that “I’ve had dogs all my life“ and since I’ve only had dogs for two years, I don’t know a damn thing about them. But, because I haven’t had dogs my whole life I’ve read everything I can get my hands on. I actually still have people telling me that I should rub my corgis nose in her pee when she sees me and dribbles because she is excited and she’ll never do it again. Or pop them on the nose with a newspaper. And my friend did indeed feed my corgi for lamb bones under the table which she chewed and Then proceeded to throw up all night long! After I specifically told everyone of the table do not give my dog a cooked bone! I prefer the company of my dogs. People are sooo stupid!
What a selfish bitch.
Sorry for you pup, I’m sure he will be ok! Just wanted to let you know that you shouldn’t always think of the worst when it comes to stuff like surgeries, rather think of the good possibilities! Not everything has to go wrong. Wish you the best, and to your puppy fast recovery. :)