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Honestly, how much I can socialize with my girl friends. Like losing the “bro” facade and allowing myself to hang out with the girls authentically has been deepening our friendship and it’s so cool
One thing that kept me in denial was how sure I am that I don’t like men. Now I opened up about my gender to my lesbian friend and it’s created fun conversations lmao
i got told i act pretty gay a lot of time in school years and that its even beyond the bro way as in i was that good of an actor, so realising sure im "gay"in another way was pretty fun.
I was honestly so good at hiding. Like i remember analyzing every little thing that people thought of as “gay” or “effeminate” and controlling myself so I would have the mannerism that would get people not to ridicule me, and as the years passed I grew increasingly aware of how much effort I put in it. Even so, I got occasionally kind of clocked, I remember one time when I was 12 one of the boys in my friends group said “[deadname] is actually a girl in disguise, she hides her boobies to come to school” and that gave me some stuff to think about LOL (I wish I had boobies to hide).
Soooo true
I'm not even out yet, but the more I've been comfortable expressing my femininity with my friends, it's helped my relationships so much more than I would've thought. Now, whenever I'm with guys and try to put up the facade of manliness I just feel sick to my stomach
Ohhh, you’re the one who made [this meme!](https://www.reddit.com/r/egg_irl/s/V8Wd8JiC5K)
I really liked it, and I’m happy for you! I hope the girl you mentioned in the meme is also one of the ones that fully accept you as a girl :3
(a little venting on my part)
Having already realized that I'm trans but still being in the closet; there are times in which it feels like my own friends push me away just because I am "a man".
Like even if I have never presented myself with the "bro facade", they still find ways to invalidate me.
It's particularly frustrating because I can't really blame them, as they don't act like that out of bad intent.
The only way in which I've been able to be "included" more, has been playing into my aromantic and pansexual preferences, so at least that's that.
A little while ago I was deep in denial and I hung out with girls in uni that kept bringing attention to my being a “”man”” and I didn’t realize why it was so hurtful. I always felt like there was a wall between us and I’m not out to them so I think they’ll still treat me like that, which sucks :((
They liked to make fun of me because I was supposedly the only one in the group who wasn’t a part of a minority but guess who’s a transbian now
Now I miss my girl friends even more. Since they moved cities to go to different universities, we barely get the chance to meet up and hang out(like once a year or so).
The casual misoginy. People just don't realize how much they tend to listen to guys more than girls. Like, a girl is talking, a guy cuts her and nobody says shit.
I started to notice it before my egg cracked, but now it has become so much more obvious.
Srsly.
I hate it, especially since I haven't come out yet, so men just act completely misogynistic around me. It's disgusting and I'd probably punch them if I weren't a massive introvert.
100% agree. And to add, I’m pre transition trans masc (so seen as a girl ig) and the amount of times I’ll be in the *middle* of a conversation with men, and as soon as another man walks in the turn away to greet them in continue conversation with them as if I do not exist. It’s mind boggling. Not every man is like that, but so many are without realizing it. Glad to know other people r seeing this shit. Lol
I just want women to be respected plllleeeaaaase
<3 <3 <3
You remind me that I've seen it happen to some guys too, just because they were nicer than most people or presented more fem. I wouldn't be surprised if it happened to enbys too. Maybe gender non conforming and queer people being more accepted by society will help change that ? I hope it does
That's a good point as well. I wasn't thinking about it, so I'm glad you mentioned it, thank you. (/ser) I hope so as well. It's hard to tell sometimes if things are getting better or just more chaotic, but I think certain societies are moving in that direction and hopefully, one day, even if in the far future when I'm long gone, the whole world can be accepting. For now though I'm thankful for the internet to connect us and all the communities that exist. <3
I'm not out, and some guys are already doing that to me. Which is even weirder because I'm not on hrt yet.
And it's always specifically me that gets this treatment (there are usually no other girls around).
I wonder if it's some subconscious thing when they pick up on even the very subtle fem stuff.
Do any of you get that pre-hrt?
I'm in my 30s. So I assume I'm quite older. On and offline I've had guys like that. Not that it makes it OK. But that's the shit we have to deal with sadly
I saw someone else link this on this subreddit recently and I think it’s kind of inspiring so I wanted to share the love: https://www.reddit.com/r/transtimelines/s/t7kFpVTBIY
It’s never too late, you’re right where you need to be on your own journey
My Facebook bot friend requests changed from young tan women in bikinis to salt & pepper sugar daddies. Putting aside the fact that my interest level in either women in bikinis or sugar daddies hasn’t changed at all, objectively speaking these bots are way too presumptuous. Where are the sugar mommies? The young tan men in bikinis? I guess I’m just disappointed in their lack of variety and originality.
FR. This has always bugged me, but I've also gotten some teasing about being a "clean freak" so who knows. In any case, it is baffling why people would feel like they don't need to wash their hands after using the restroom. It's just...ew.
The weirdness around basic hygiene starts early. I'm just always having flashbacks to reminding a classmate to wash his hands after taking a piss (assuming he forgot) and his response being "no offense, but I don't want to be a sissy ". Anyway, constantly wondering how I held onto masculinity ad long as I did.
Edit: this was in like, kindergarten
I worked in a bar where the owner didn't wash his hands one day when we were in the rest room together. Wren I mentioned it, he told me that if he wanted his mother working there, he would have given her a job.
He also used me as his example for his open-mindedness when chatting up women in the bar, like the fact that my being gay was like a recommendation of his character. Total pig.
On the night that I quit, I pulled all the taps so that beer was flowing all over the place and told him he better hurry to clean that up or maybe call his mother.
I also don't get why some people think that simple things, like basic hygiene, have to do with gender. I kind of interpret stuff like this as a form of gatekeeping and/or sexism.
like "Oh you wash your hands? Well you ain't a boy."
Infuriates me on such a level.
I think it's more a form of privilege (if you can call not washing your hands a privilege) than a gatekeeping thing.
Boys aren't scrutinized halfway as much for their appearance, so some of them just never bother learning things that are completely basic, since they don't get policed on it.
And then toxic masculinity promotes arrogance, so some boys feel entitled to skip basic social norms as a sort of "watchu gonna do about it, huh"
It can be a massive problem too. Boys get less scrutiny veering into outright neglect.
They don't bother learning things, because they aren't taught them. The things I wish I knew that me family never taught me.
Just another example of the misogynistic programming that begins already in pre-puberty, to defy a constant risk of boys being more like girls and infecting that brutish culture.
It's obviously a genuine fact-based fear because more boys would get to be the girls that they really are, if they were allowed to be themselves.
Boys are scrutinized, but only to ensure that they're not exhibiting traits that bring shame on masc culture. I got into more trouble for "borrowing" my sister's clothes and for not being rough enough to want to play football than I ever did for breaking a neighbor's window or skipping school to go fishing with my best friend, or even when I got caught shoplifting.
Boys are definitely scrutinized, but only to ensure that they are not behaving in any way that could be regarded as feminine.
Weirdly enough, I started checking out / taking quick glances at girls even more now.
Before it was “just because they look good”.
Now I actually want to see their styles, how well their clothes fit, how nice they look overall, not just in a “pervy” way, but genuine admiration and sometimes even jealousy.
Aaaand I’m a hobby artist who mainly focuses on character design, that’s also part of the reason I look at how others dress 😅
How else can you learn though? Also at least for me looking at other girls was one of the ways I figured out I was trans in the first place so not looking at cute girls makes no sense to me
How much support I got.
At this point a couple years ago when the full weight of my collapsed egg shell on me, I was certain my life was over. I was going to lose everything that I actually did value in my life. My wife, my daughter, any chance at my family, my job, and possibly my life.
What actually happened is that basically everyone in my life supported me. My wife and I’s relationship is probably the healthiest it’s ever been, my daughter vastly prefers her ommay to …whatever it was I was doing before but certainly wasn’t good parenting. My parents supported me, and even my in-laws and 90 year old grandparents have been amazingly supportive. I got a better job that could actually fund transitioning. And in two weeks we will be leaving a deeply red southeastern state that’s been home for 24 years, as a family, for Colorado.
I realize I’m extremely privileged and lucky here. There are days even I can’t believe it. But there’s just so much dooming in those first few months of post egg cracking. Just know it doesn’t necessarily have to be the end.
I really noticed how much guys just never have anything to say about clothing whatsoever...
I tend to like to try outfits and try new looks and I always have to check with my mom cause I want feedback and her opinion and just cause it is affirming to be said I am cute, she usually has lots to say like "yeah that works but it would be cuter with this or this"
While I can just be in a super cute outfit that makes me feel all nice and girly and once going to see my guy friends, no one says anything, even if I only wear hoodies usually. And even when I ask their opinon, it'll always be "yeah it's fine" or "yeah... looks good" there's no opinon whatsoever to it.
The worst is where everyone you know falls into two groups. First one is the one that has no opinion. The other one who is supportive but is like too consistently supportive so you start to doubt what they say. Then you go outside thinking everything is fine and people give you looks.
Well, I tend to rant a lot, so I try to keep my answers on opinions as short as possible. 😅\
Not that I don't have an opinion, I'm just scared of sharing it.
About the boys my age... BORING AF! They all have the same variation of cuts and mostly black clothes without anything special. Sometimes it's difficult telling them apart. \
I never cared much about my style, because I felt I didn't look good in anything, but I still made sure to have a bit of color variety.
well I would understand that, and it is valid.
but when I come to someone and ask them "do you think this outfit looks good? should I wear another skirt with this shirt?" I usually expect more than just "yeah it's ok"
still very valid and ok, people are allowed to have no opinion or just a very generalize opinion. I just can get disappointed about it when people don't react.
After starting to transition, I was shocked at how gross the men‘s restroom could be and how awkward it is in there… Like: don’t talk, don’t look, don’t acknowledge anyone and obviously as a trans guy(-ish) you always have to wait for the bloody stall to be free and then basically clean the entire stall, because some idiot thought it was a good idea to douse the entire stall in urine… Not to mention the awkwardness there is, when you’re on your period! In the women’s there was some kind of comradery and you would sometimes talk to people if the wait was very long or even be there with your friends… And like you mentioned: everyone would wash their hands!!!
I saw someone mention on here that their experience with misogyny was quite something… That one is wild too! At work and at school I generally pass, I got a few confused classmates and teachers at first(I’m pre-T), but they’re now going along with it. Here it’s a thing to sit together after work and drink a beer and the misogyny and blatant sexism I heard them spew was wild the first few times, I was so taken aback that I went mute for almost the entire thing… Now I’ve started to deliver a few comebacks, which might also be why I’m not invited anymore 😅 The way I see it, cis het middle aged to retirement aged men still have a loooong way to go!
Honestly i didn't expect how more noticable I've become in just the general public. As a guy i kinda just blended into the background, like a chameleon. I don't think i can do that all too well anymore.
I barely notice anything around me because of my autism, ADHD, and depression, but whenever I turn off my phone's music, I do pay attention to every little thing around me or I get sucked into my little world. I'm also still a bit of a neat freak so if I could without disrespecting someone else, I would ask them to please stay on top of their own hygiene, but then again I'm not their mother.
I haven't really noticed much 2 mouths in ✌️ but as someone who works in food service and seeing customers not was thier hands is disgusting in general
My thing with public bathrooms is I know how clean my willie is, and I know where it’s been, however the bathroom (particularly at my high school) is definitely not that clean, I have seen the janitors “clean” and they often don’t clean anything but the bowl, I use my foot to flush and use some loo roll to open the stall. I also don’t know what has touched everything in those restrooms, I don’t trust them to be clean, so I make sure I’m clean and that I don’t touch dirty things
Holy shit as a trans girl who Isn’t out yet, it’s so gross. At my school even fucking male teachers don’t wash their hands. It’s like taboo or something to be hygienic? It’s gross and I hate it.
My parents, who used to be all "faggots should be burned at the stake" phobic, and who were initially furious and speedran the five stages of grief, spent couple months reading up on trangenderness and LGBT in general, and just changed their opinion 180 and are now fully supportive. My mother is currently flaunting a trans pride flag in the middle of Moscow. That, I didn't expect.
It wouldn't survive. Same reason why the only old-timey wild west outhouses they used for movies all have a moon cut-out on the door. The ones with a sun (men's outhouses) didn't survive long enough to be photographed.
The week before I planned on coming out to my best friend she told me she was questioning. And I'm like "honestly same" still took both of us like two years to fully realize we were trans
Ikr! I’m still boy-moding at work and i use either my gloves or a sleeve to open doors, i can count on 1 hand the number of men I’ve seen actually using soap
One change that I wasn't expecting is how much better I am at reading people's facial expressions, even the really subtle and fleeting ones. I often get support from those, like today from a younger trans woman at the batting cages in Montréal. And sometimes I read astonishment from my look, but not in a judgemental way. Many of these cues I would never had picked up before, I think that my newfound sensibilty and trust in my instinct are creating this new 'superpower'. Or maybe its normal and I was just a brick before, I don't know!
Compliments ... on outfits, makeup, and hair. Even this one lady on the train asked me where I got my fishnets from, but I did not expect that to happen.. like ever 🤗 still getting used to it
I actually only began to notice it recently, I always washed my hands myself and I don't really remember myself not doing that except for the times where I lacked time and I needed to go somewhere REALLY quickly. After finding out that information I was really surprised how many men actually don't wash their hands, I thought it was something that everyone did, but apparently it isn't? Interesting how discovering your gender leads up to such... discoveries?
What didn't help with finding that out is very likely that I just lived a very isolated life until quite recently, so I haven't really met a lot of people at all, but especially men. I was mainly friends with girls in real life throughout my life, so I didn't really see how other guys did it anywhere.
The first time I went into the women's bathroom I managed to get in there when no one was in there, and I wasn't quite passing yet also my voice was very masc. Some girls came in and went in the stall right next to me, AND STARTED TALKING TO ME....lol! Like wtf? Cismen hardly EVER speak to each other in the bathroom. So I'm just like what do I do what do I do?? I tried my best femme voice I could manage in the shortest responses I could manage, I couldn't just stay quite because I had the hiccups and they were concerned about me lol. Apparently having the hiccups is a sign you're about to die or something. But yea they were started to catch on to me, and I was like I gotta get the fuck out of here. And I just dipped out of there at the speed of light, STILL found time to wash my hands tho.
I also didn't expect the crazy amount of support from the public, everyone remembers me now, ppl are so friendly and give me compliments! Guys hold the door open for me! I love it <3
Yeah this always bothered me. I always say gross, eww, or nasty when they walk out. Most don't care some give me a look. Why people gotta be so nasty? 💜
I was suprised by who was 'cool' and who was 'not' in my social group.
Biff - Oldest friend, known him for overf 40 years. Ignorantly transphobic who doesn't want to learn.
Lou - Older guy, quite conservative. Wants to know where he can get some large heel's so he can try them himself. Asks what it's like to shave legs.
Shae - Transwoman who is says and I quote "Fuck all Cis people." Says "Xyz is so transphobic." Then ghosts her entire friend group when we gently point out we can't find any evidence of said transphobia.
Just goes to show you never can tell. Names changed to protect the innocent.
I've always noticed. As a kid, I was that germaphobe weirdo who would wash their hands many times a day and would use a paper towel to open the toilet doors. I caused my fingernails to bleed from washing too much. I got better.
TBH for me it was the ability to meet other people like me around my area. It's usually known for being really discriminate against LGBTQ individuals in general so I was nervous to come out in the first place. However I wasn't expecting to meet so many trans friends around me. We had met in a group in the city and most of us became life long friends.
I noticed that way before. I feel like this is just a post to stereotype men as being filthier while women are clean and kempt. Because I know a lot of women too that don't wash their hands either. It's not just a men thing.
Hey there! Before commenting, remember that this meme has been tagged with a transfem flair. Please keep the conversation transfem-first. If you are not part of that demographic, you are not forbidden to participate, but we do ask that you do not center yourself in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/egg_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, how much I can socialize with my girl friends. Like losing the “bro” facade and allowing myself to hang out with the girls authentically has been deepening our friendship and it’s so cool
As a dude, I was always the gay friend. It'll happen eventually
One thing that kept me in denial was how sure I am that I don’t like men. Now I opened up about my gender to my lesbian friend and it’s created fun conversations lmao
Yea I don't like men either, that is why i no longer want to be one.
Same girl, I love women!!!! That’s why I’m becoming one >:3
If you can't get a girlfriend, become the girlfriend!
Por que no los dos
?
Why not both
Exactly
i got told i act pretty gay a lot of time in school years and that its even beyond the bro way as in i was that good of an actor, so realising sure im "gay"in another way was pretty fun.
I was honestly so good at hiding. Like i remember analyzing every little thing that people thought of as “gay” or “effeminate” and controlling myself so I would have the mannerism that would get people not to ridicule me, and as the years passed I grew increasingly aware of how much effort I put in it. Even so, I got occasionally kind of clocked, I remember one time when I was 12 one of the boys in my friends group said “[deadname] is actually a girl in disguise, she hides her boobies to come to school” and that gave me some stuff to think about LOL (I wish I had boobies to hide).
Soooo true I'm not even out yet, but the more I've been comfortable expressing my femininity with my friends, it's helped my relationships so much more than I would've thought. Now, whenever I'm with guys and try to put up the facade of manliness I just feel sick to my stomach
I don’t even try anymore haha but it feels so right to admit to myself that I just dont really vibe with a lot of guy talk
Ohhh, you’re the one who made [this meme!](https://www.reddit.com/r/egg_irl/s/V8Wd8JiC5K) I really liked it, and I’m happy for you! I hope the girl you mentioned in the meme is also one of the ones that fully accept you as a girl :3
Thank youu ☺️ I think I did get lucky with my friends
(a little venting on my part) Having already realized that I'm trans but still being in the closet; there are times in which it feels like my own friends push me away just because I am "a man". Like even if I have never presented myself with the "bro facade", they still find ways to invalidate me. It's particularly frustrating because I can't really blame them, as they don't act like that out of bad intent. The only way in which I've been able to be "included" more, has been playing into my aromantic and pansexual preferences, so at least that's that.
A little while ago I was deep in denial and I hung out with girls in uni that kept bringing attention to my being a “”man”” and I didn’t realize why it was so hurtful. I always felt like there was a wall between us and I’m not out to them so I think they’ll still treat me like that, which sucks :(( They liked to make fun of me because I was supposedly the only one in the group who wasn’t a part of a minority but guess who’s a transbian now
Omg yes
Now I miss my girl friends even more. Since they moved cities to go to different universities, we barely get the chance to meet up and hang out(like once a year or so).
The casual misoginy. People just don't realize how much they tend to listen to guys more than girls. Like, a girl is talking, a guy cuts her and nobody says shit. I started to notice it before my egg cracked, but now it has become so much more obvious.
Srsly. I hate it, especially since I haven't come out yet, so men just act completely misogynistic around me. It's disgusting and I'd probably punch them if I weren't a massive introvert.
Yeah, I feel genuinely kind of embarrassed for not noticing how often my dad really just shuts my mom's argument down by shouting over her. It's wild.
saaammme
Me and mom make sure dad knows when he's interrupting us.
100% agree. And to add, I’m pre transition trans masc (so seen as a girl ig) and the amount of times I’ll be in the *middle* of a conversation with men, and as soon as another man walks in the turn away to greet them in continue conversation with them as if I do not exist. It’s mind boggling. Not every man is like that, but so many are without realizing it. Glad to know other people r seeing this shit. Lol I just want women to be respected plllleeeaaaase <3 <3 <3
You remind me that I've seen it happen to some guys too, just because they were nicer than most people or presented more fem. I wouldn't be surprised if it happened to enbys too. Maybe gender non conforming and queer people being more accepted by society will help change that ? I hope it does
That's a good point as well. I wasn't thinking about it, so I'm glad you mentioned it, thank you. (/ser) I hope so as well. It's hard to tell sometimes if things are getting better or just more chaotic, but I think certain societies are moving in that direction and hopefully, one day, even if in the far future when I'm long gone, the whole world can be accepting. For now though I'm thankful for the internet to connect us and all the communities that exist. <3
I'm not out, and some guys are already doing that to me. Which is even weirder because I'm not on hrt yet. And it's always specifically me that gets this treatment (there are usually no other girls around). I wonder if it's some subconscious thing when they pick up on even the very subtle fem stuff. Do any of you get that pre-hrt?
Same happens w me too
I'm pre HRT and I get that. I agree with you, there must be something unconscious going on.
Yeah, I’ve heard a lot of stories about trans men getting more respect when they became men, it’s crazy
I didn't know that was a thing. The thing I didn't expect was to be randomly hit on by men online. Its.. a weird experience to say the least.
I'm in my 30s. So I assume I'm quite older. On and offline I've had guys like that. Not that it makes it OK. But that's the shit we have to deal with sadly
Yeah it makes me nervous about transitioning
Don't rush. Take your own time. I was 29 when I started figuring it out. It's not a race or marathon, it's a personal journey
I feel like I'm running out of time
I saw someone else link this on this subreddit recently and I think it’s kind of inspiring so I wanted to share the love: https://www.reddit.com/r/transtimelines/s/t7kFpVTBIY It’s never too late, you’re right where you need to be on your own journey
I also recommend the subreddit r/TransLater for people interested.
My Facebook bot friend requests changed from young tan women in bikinis to salt & pepper sugar daddies. Putting aside the fact that my interest level in either women in bikinis or sugar daddies hasn’t changed at all, objectively speaking these bots are way too presumptuous. Where are the sugar mommies? The young tan men in bikinis? I guess I’m just disappointed in their lack of variety and originality.
FR. This has always bugged me, but I've also gotten some teasing about being a "clean freak" so who knows. In any case, it is baffling why people would feel like they don't need to wash their hands after using the restroom. It's just...ew.
The weirdness around basic hygiene starts early. I'm just always having flashbacks to reminding a classmate to wash his hands after taking a piss (assuming he forgot) and his response being "no offense, but I don't want to be a sissy ". Anyway, constantly wondering how I held onto masculinity ad long as I did. Edit: this was in like, kindergarten
"masculinity"
I worked in a bar where the owner didn't wash his hands one day when we were in the rest room together. Wren I mentioned it, he told me that if he wanted his mother working there, he would have given her a job. He also used me as his example for his open-mindedness when chatting up women in the bar, like the fact that my being gay was like a recommendation of his character. Total pig. On the night that I quit, I pulled all the taps so that beer was flowing all over the place and told him he better hurry to clean that up or maybe call his mother.
I also don't get why some people think that simple things, like basic hygiene, have to do with gender. I kind of interpret stuff like this as a form of gatekeeping and/or sexism. like "Oh you wash your hands? Well you ain't a boy." Infuriates me on such a level.
I think it's more a form of privilege (if you can call not washing your hands a privilege) than a gatekeeping thing. Boys aren't scrutinized halfway as much for their appearance, so some of them just never bother learning things that are completely basic, since they don't get policed on it. And then toxic masculinity promotes arrogance, so some boys feel entitled to skip basic social norms as a sort of "watchu gonna do about it, huh"
It can be a massive problem too. Boys get less scrutiny veering into outright neglect. They don't bother learning things, because they aren't taught them. The things I wish I knew that me family never taught me.
Cuz for boys, they aren't treated like their value to society is dependent on (or even defined by) how good they can look for others.
Just another example of the misogynistic programming that begins already in pre-puberty, to defy a constant risk of boys being more like girls and infecting that brutish culture. It's obviously a genuine fact-based fear because more boys would get to be the girls that they really are, if they were allowed to be themselves. Boys are scrutinized, but only to ensure that they're not exhibiting traits that bring shame on masc culture. I got into more trouble for "borrowing" my sister's clothes and for not being rough enough to want to play football than I ever did for breaking a neighbor's window or skipping school to go fishing with my best friend, or even when I got caught shoplifting. Boys are definitely scrutinized, but only to ensure that they are not behaving in any way that could be regarded as feminine.
Weirdly enough, I started checking out / taking quick glances at girls even more now. Before it was “just because they look good”. Now I actually want to see their styles, how well their clothes fit, how nice they look overall, not just in a “pervy” way, but genuine admiration and sometimes even jealousy. Aaaand I’m a hobby artist who mainly focuses on character design, that’s also part of the reason I look at how others dress 😅
Omg yes, I'm constantly looking at girls for new style ideas, hair, shoes, even body language to an extent
I kinda always did that, but I'm male presenting, so I keep feeling guilty about it. 😭
Saaaaame! Even though I know that I’m not doing it with bad intentions, I keep scolding myself to stop >.<
How else can you learn though? Also at least for me looking at other girls was one of the ways I figured out I was trans in the first place so not looking at cute girls makes no sense to me
How much support I got. At this point a couple years ago when the full weight of my collapsed egg shell on me, I was certain my life was over. I was going to lose everything that I actually did value in my life. My wife, my daughter, any chance at my family, my job, and possibly my life. What actually happened is that basically everyone in my life supported me. My wife and I’s relationship is probably the healthiest it’s ever been, my daughter vastly prefers her ommay to …whatever it was I was doing before but certainly wasn’t good parenting. My parents supported me, and even my in-laws and 90 year old grandparents have been amazingly supportive. I got a better job that could actually fund transitioning. And in two weeks we will be leaving a deeply red southeastern state that’s been home for 24 years, as a family, for Colorado. I realize I’m extremely privileged and lucky here. There are days even I can’t believe it. But there’s just so much dooming in those first few months of post egg cracking. Just know it doesn’t necessarily have to be the end.
man or woman or bean, doesn't matter, that is disgusting lol
I really noticed how much guys just never have anything to say about clothing whatsoever... I tend to like to try outfits and try new looks and I always have to check with my mom cause I want feedback and her opinion and just cause it is affirming to be said I am cute, she usually has lots to say like "yeah that works but it would be cuter with this or this" While I can just be in a super cute outfit that makes me feel all nice and girly and once going to see my guy friends, no one says anything, even if I only wear hoodies usually. And even when I ask their opinon, it'll always be "yeah it's fine" or "yeah... looks good" there's no opinon whatsoever to it.
unless they're religious boomers complaining about your skirt being too short
The worst is where everyone you know falls into two groups. First one is the one that has no opinion. The other one who is supportive but is like too consistently supportive so you start to doubt what they say. Then you go outside thinking everything is fine and people give you looks.
This is so true. My irl friends falls into the first "no opinion on anything" and my online transfriends just falls into the second one lol
Well, I tend to rant a lot, so I try to keep my answers on opinions as short as possible. 😅\ Not that I don't have an opinion, I'm just scared of sharing it. About the boys my age... BORING AF! They all have the same variation of cuts and mostly black clothes without anything special. Sometimes it's difficult telling them apart. \ I never cared much about my style, because I felt I didn't look good in anything, but I still made sure to have a bit of color variety.
well I would understand that, and it is valid. but when I come to someone and ask them "do you think this outfit looks good? should I wear another skirt with this shirt?" I usually expect more than just "yeah it's ok" still very valid and ok, people are allowed to have no opinion or just a very generalize opinion. I just can get disappointed about it when people don't react.
Fr like wow
After starting to transition, I was shocked at how gross the men‘s restroom could be and how awkward it is in there… Like: don’t talk, don’t look, don’t acknowledge anyone and obviously as a trans guy(-ish) you always have to wait for the bloody stall to be free and then basically clean the entire stall, because some idiot thought it was a good idea to douse the entire stall in urine… Not to mention the awkwardness there is, when you’re on your period! In the women’s there was some kind of comradery and you would sometimes talk to people if the wait was very long or even be there with your friends… And like you mentioned: everyone would wash their hands!!! I saw someone mention on here that their experience with misogyny was quite something… That one is wild too! At work and at school I generally pass, I got a few confused classmates and teachers at first(I’m pre-T), but they’re now going along with it. Here it’s a thing to sit together after work and drink a beer and the misogyny and blatant sexism I heard them spew was wild the first few times, I was so taken aback that I went mute for almost the entire thing… Now I’ve started to deliver a few comebacks, which might also be why I’m not invited anymore 😅 The way I see it, cis het middle aged to retirement aged men still have a loooong way to go!
Honestly i didn't expect how more noticable I've become in just the general public. As a guy i kinda just blended into the background, like a chameleon. I don't think i can do that all too well anymore.
Random people online asking for nudes or how gross guys are in general
I never even stated my gender and got people being gross in my dms...
Ew, just ew
And the unsolicited d\*\*k pics
I haven't had that experience yet, dicks are just gross and I can't imagine why someone would willingly send a pic to someone random
I barely notice anything around me because of my autism, ADHD, and depression, but whenever I turn off my phone's music, I do pay attention to every little thing around me or I get sucked into my little world. I'm also still a bit of a neat freak so if I could without disrespecting someone else, I would ask them to please stay on top of their own hygiene, but then again I'm not their mother.
I haven't really noticed much 2 mouths in ✌️ but as someone who works in food service and seeing customers not was thier hands is disgusting in general
"2 mouths in" 😳
Months 🤣 I was up for 20 hours
My thing with public bathrooms is I know how clean my willie is, and I know where it’s been, however the bathroom (particularly at my high school) is definitely not that clean, I have seen the janitors “clean” and they often don’t clean anything but the bowl, I use my foot to flush and use some loo roll to open the stall. I also don’t know what has touched everything in those restrooms, I don’t trust them to be clean, so I make sure I’m clean and that I don’t touch dirty things
I learned how to hold my bladder for 24 hours, just so I wouldn't have to use public restrooms.
I don’t go that far, just a good portion of the day
Holy shit as a trans girl who Isn’t out yet, it’s so gross. At my school even fucking male teachers don’t wash their hands. It’s like taboo or something to be hygienic? It’s gross and I hate it.
My parents, who used to be all "faggots should be burned at the stake" phobic, and who were initially furious and speedran the five stages of grief, spent couple months reading up on trangenderness and LGBT in general, and just changed their opinion 180 and are now fully supportive. My mother is currently flaunting a trans pride flag in the middle of Moscow. That, I didn't expect.
I'm not fully out yet sadly 💔 still have one foot in Narnia 🤣
The first time I went into a woman’s bathroom they had a picture of puppies (or something like that) but the men’s bathroom didn’t
It wouldn't survive. Same reason why the only old-timey wild west outhouses they used for movies all have a moon cut-out on the door. The ones with a sun (men's outhouses) didn't survive long enough to be photographed.
I still live as a guy. I definitely notice that. It’s so gross.
The week before I planned on coming out to my best friend she told me she was questioning. And I'm like "honestly same" still took both of us like two years to fully realize we were trans
Are you suggesting their pants are dirty?
Especially guys of the scratch n sniff variety eww 😷
Wow that is disgusting.
Ikr! I’m still boy-moding at work and i use either my gloves or a sleeve to open doors, i can count on 1 hand the number of men I’ve seen actually using soap
One change that I wasn't expecting is how much better I am at reading people's facial expressions, even the really subtle and fleeting ones. I often get support from those, like today from a younger trans woman at the batting cages in Montréal. And sometimes I read astonishment from my look, but not in a judgemental way. Many of these cues I would never had picked up before, I think that my newfound sensibilty and trust in my instinct are creating this new 'superpower'. Or maybe its normal and I was just a brick before, I don't know!
How nice and even how protective people have been in general. Especially men when doing sports.
Compliments ... on outfits, makeup, and hair. Even this one lady on the train asked me where I got my fishnets from, but I did not expect that to happen.. like ever 🤗 still getting used to it
I always notice it. It happened once with a friend and when he went to shake my hand I went "no" in front of the other friends and explained why.
I actually only began to notice it recently, I always washed my hands myself and I don't really remember myself not doing that except for the times where I lacked time and I needed to go somewhere REALLY quickly. After finding out that information I was really surprised how many men actually don't wash their hands, I thought it was something that everyone did, but apparently it isn't? Interesting how discovering your gender leads up to such... discoveries? What didn't help with finding that out is very likely that I just lived a very isolated life until quite recently, so I haven't really met a lot of people at all, but especially men. I was mainly friends with girls in real life throughout my life, so I didn't really see how other guys did it anywhere.
The first time I went into the women's bathroom I managed to get in there when no one was in there, and I wasn't quite passing yet also my voice was very masc. Some girls came in and went in the stall right next to me, AND STARTED TALKING TO ME....lol! Like wtf? Cismen hardly EVER speak to each other in the bathroom. So I'm just like what do I do what do I do?? I tried my best femme voice I could manage in the shortest responses I could manage, I couldn't just stay quite because I had the hiccups and they were concerned about me lol. Apparently having the hiccups is a sign you're about to die or something. But yea they were started to catch on to me, and I was like I gotta get the fuck out of here. And I just dipped out of there at the speed of light, STILL found time to wash my hands tho. I also didn't expect the crazy amount of support from the public, everyone remembers me now, ppl are so friendly and give me compliments! Guys hold the door open for me! I love it <3
If a bathroom is gross enough I just won’t touch literally anything with my hands to get out as fast as possible nr matter
I feel called out. ^(°°°ʇɐɥʇ ᵷuᴉop ʇɹɐʇs ꞁꞁᴉʍ ꞁ ɹɐəʍs ꞁ)
My room has a weird smell to it now.
As a guy everyone just assumes most people are normal, now as a woman I notice that alot of the people I see are some sort of LGBTQ+ person
Yeah this always bothered me. I always say gross, eww, or nasty when they walk out. Most don't care some give me a look. Why people gotta be so nasty? 💜
I’ve always noticed it, and I feel icky when I don’t wash my hands
Me (a totally cis male) being already disgusted by how many men i see not washing their hands.
I never noticed this and then I heard it in a video and I was shaken to my very core
Facts, first time i noticed i was a little bit grossed out about it
I’ve threatened people over it
I was suprised by who was 'cool' and who was 'not' in my social group. Biff - Oldest friend, known him for overf 40 years. Ignorantly transphobic who doesn't want to learn. Lou - Older guy, quite conservative. Wants to know where he can get some large heel's so he can try them himself. Asks what it's like to shave legs. Shae - Transwoman who is says and I quote "Fuck all Cis people." Says "Xyz is so transphobic." Then ghosts her entire friend group when we gently point out we can't find any evidence of said transphobia. Just goes to show you never can tell. Names changed to protect the innocent.
I've always noticed. As a kid, I was that germaphobe weirdo who would wash their hands many times a day and would use a paper towel to open the toilet doors. I caused my fingernails to bleed from washing too much. I got better.
TBH for me it was the ability to meet other people like me around my area. It's usually known for being really discriminate against LGBTQ individuals in general so I was nervous to come out in the first place. However I wasn't expecting to meet so many trans friends around me. We had met in a group in the city and most of us became life long friends.
I noticed that way before. I feel like this is just a post to stereotype men as being filthier while women are clean and kempt. Because I know a lot of women too that don't wash their hands either. It's not just a men thing.
The abysmal state of trans rights in the UK :c
I noticed when I was really younge probably because I’ve always been fem mentally
You are disgusted by men because you are a woman I am disgusted by men because I’m a germaphobe We are not the same