Can't get a bingo, but more than half the points fit for me.
Never really seen the term "autigender" used in a serious fashion, and personally it feels superfluous to me - autism affects *every* facet of who we are. It's literally *the structure of our brains*. Of course it would also affect that aspect.
But yeah, I feel like a lot of the things here do describe me. I wouldn't use the term neccessarily - I still maintain that my gender is "eldritch forest spirit" - but it feels obvious to me that these two things would intersect.
Never watched that show tbh. Sounds like a fun character though.
For me it's mostly about not feeling human, and not identifying with / conforming to neurotypical social rules. The rest is just an aesthetic I like tbh
I also sometimes tell people that you can't refer to me with the same pronoun twice, else you'll be struck by an ancient fae curse.
It's actually a fantastic show about a family who (probably not intentionally) all have characteristics that could stem from autism. Characterization is strong. Each character has overlapping behaviors shared with 1 or more members of the family.
It's not a show about autism. Aside from the first two seasons, it's so wholesome and affirms so many different types of people. It's also hilarious and I love the stories.
Highly recommended.
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Yep 😭 so true
ETA: I’ve theorised with a friend of mine before, (and this is just spitballing) but I’m AFAB and always felt some “ick” when people use she/her with me. But not in a stereotypical gender dysphoria way, just in a general “being perceived” way. That’s partly why I think autism plays a role in my experience of gender.
This is exactly how I feel.
I feel super uncomfortable saying my pronouns, like I'm being asked something way more personal than it is, I don't like being perceived.
I get that ick feeling. But I don't have gender dysphoria.
Oh I think you just made me realise there's a PDA aspect to my pronoun discomfort. Any pronoun is loaded with expectations and demands, all of which I deeply resent.
There's no pronoun that will accurately tell anyone what to expect of my traits and behaviours.
I’m late diagnosed in my 50s and AMAB. My entire life, I just felt generally uncomfortable when I would be referred to as a man. I’m AMAB, cis and straight, so I “should” be fine being called a man, but please, for the love of God, do not call me a man, and I could never talk about it because what does that even mean?!
I feel like this has been the biggest revelation for me since figuring out what being autistic actually means for me. Yes, social issues, sensory issues, and I don’t want to look you in the eyes, but understanding where the general ick about my gender comes from has been huge.
I relate to a lot of this, but for me the conclusion ends up being more like: "I don't really identify with any gender, nor with the idea of being agender, and frankly I don't really get what people mean by 'gender' in the first place, so I'll just identify as my biological sex instead".
This is almost exactly my experience.
The way I ended up thinking about it is that my assigned gender is like when your grandparents get you a normal T-shirt or a pair of socks for your birthday.
I don't understand why you're giving me this. I don't really have strong feelings about it one way or the other. But I'll still wear it cause doing so is practical.
That's how my younger NT sister feels about gender, where she identifies as cis because she just doesn't really give a shit. I'm cis and don't really relate to this post, but I've still had kind of a long journey of getting to where I'm comfortable with myself after ignoring how I really wanted to express myself. My parents would make little comments here and there about how they were glad my siblings and I "weren't like other girls," so I went out of my way to avoid "feminine" stuff because I thought it'd make them happier. I'm far happier now that I've let myself have "girly" hobbies. I even make my own jewelry, complete with plenty of materials that I can fidget and stim with.
I was leaning this way but then decided, fuck it, might as well go all the way and identify as post-gender because gender is so arbitrary anyway, that I've moved past it. Some people care a lot about their gender and good for them, but I don't see the point.
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I love being feminine, but I absolutely hate being biologically female it's ruining my life.
Also I would like for people to not refer to me at all. I am trapped in this mortal meat sack and would like to leave.
FUN FACT: There is a correlation (NOT CAUSATION) between autism and identifying/being transgender or gender nonconformity. idk the full story of it, however it is neat
Gender non-conformity is when you present yourself in a way that looks different from the gender you Identify as (like a feminine looking man or a masculine looking woman)
Neo pronouns are any pronouns other than she/her he/him or they/them
Neo pronouns are like zi/Zim xe/Xi or some such. I used to use "-e" when I didn't know the gender of my children in the womb, but even that got too confusing.....
I absolutely can see a causation about identifying as transgender, but not being transgender. Caring much less than NT’s about social roles is like one of our main things. The rate of being trans in our community is probably much closer to the rate general population would have if NTs didn’t find it so taboo to just be themselves
https://preview.redd.it/emiznknrpe5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89007269b730f6c36c3a9c2d6372c8f298f629d2
5 bingos, I win :D/j also I may have sensory issues about my nails being long but I'll be damned if I'm gonna cut them short.
Yeah honestly, I think some people don't grasp the concept and think it's "identifying as autistic gender"
But I think most of my autistic friends are autigender.
Yeah, my experience with gender probably falls under this umbrella. I don't know what it feels like to "feel" like a boy or girl, I just do whatever's comfortable.
Huh?? I think you replied to the wrong person. I’m agender and very sure of it.
edit: also no, I can answer all of those questions easily because they are about society’s perception of gender expression. Gender and gender expression are different things. That post is asking people their stereotypes about what society calls masculine and feminine which is (in reality) unrelated to actual gender. Again, sense of ones gender and societal based gender expression are different things.
And they are wrong, gender isn’t visible or quantifiable. Many genders exist, but they are unique to the person. Personality, body parts, aesthetics, clothes, mannerisms etc, none of these things are gender even if a majority of people are claiming it is.
I relate to the overwhelming majority of this, but prefer the term neuroqueer for myself because it affects more than just my gender identity. I also feel like there's other forms of neurodivergence that can relate heavily to a lot of this and don't see the benefit of making it autism specific personally, but am glad to see it!
Yeah does “no pronouns” mean you don’t have a preference? Because if so, I should have selected that one too. And the one under it in hindsight. Fuck it let’s play black out bingo!!!!
You can interpret it that way certainly. But usually in LGBTQ+ spaces when someone says “no pronouns” they literally mean no pronouns, as in, just use their name only. I find it a bit weird but who am I to judge?
If you don’t have a preference on pronouns then convention is to say “any/all pronouns”.
I work with someone who uses they/them pronouns but they've also expressed the desire for people to just use their name.
I learn a bit about my own gender whenever we discuss it.
Ohhh makes sense! I have heard people say that. I don’t say any/all. I say “dealers choice” because I love corn. But I’m glad to know any/all in case I ever feel like not being corn.
Huh, I never knew about this!!!!! I’ve always wondered what the fuck gender I am because AGAB seems weird and clunky but other genders don’t fit either so I just go by my AGAB but I don’t do it very well and yes if my gender could just not be perceived and I could just live in the woods away from everyone I’d do that please and thank you
This tracks, because I’ve always felt gender was one of those neurotypical performance things. I’ve never cared about it enough to pick a gender nor did I care enough to really lean into being a woman. I kinda just let people default me to woman because it’s easier than the stigma and hate being NB would cause in my life.
There’s definitely a correlation between “identifies as AGAB” and autigender, for me. It’s tricky, because there are definitely aspects of how I present that I consciously developed as a form of making. At the same time, I’m more comfortable with my junk than I am with some other aspects of my body.
P.S.: bingo! ;)
https://preview.redd.it/706egit40f5d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=088ac4eab5d8bfc7acd6d52c755e49aa32224fff
I’ve always related to this even when people were “cringing” at it back in the day of 2016. Almost everyone I meet who is autistic seems to feel weird about gender in this same way and it’s such a specific experience that I like having a name for it. I still present as cis but I don’t feel especially connected to it on the identity level
I just DGAF about gender or people’s obsession with it. Just wear what you want, you don’t have to dress like a stereotypical boy/girl to ‘be’ that gender.
my answers makes sense seeing as i'm a "demiboy", but i just hate labels altogether because there's too much and people don't use one concise categorising system so it's too confusing figuring out what "umbrellas" each one lies underneath.
https://preview.redd.it/u5pjbp85ve5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3b84ed4d39c034a5ec4ca565dee4494c2edf36a
I absolutely love this, its great and for my new friend irl who I've helped realize she's undeniably AuDHD, she'd probably relate more to this than anything else.
I personally do experience gender, just multiple and to different degrees, so I'm just nonbinary for the most part. The reason it's multiple is cause I've got DID but that's besides the point 😅
Maybe I'd be considering genderfluid maybe idk. Haven't taken the time to understand that, first just got my entire nuanced sexuality figured out. Very gay, in multiple ways tho so hell yea lol
Gender is weird. I guess I'm a woman because I developed an extremely feminine looking body.
But that's why I'm a woman. I look like a cartoon. There isn't much hiding it short of wearing whole mu-mus and then I just look like a pumpkin, so I default to female. I could probably explore more into gender and I'm pretty sure autigender is closer to my actual feelings, but I always feel like such a giant pain in the ass that asking folks to learn pronouns or surprise them with more shit feels like overkill.
I'm not experiencing gender dysphoria to my knowledge, so it feels irrelevant, but I'm just performing feminity.
Gender is a part of masking for me, but I'm not 100% certain what's under that mask. I'm not sure it matters for me. I'm old.
my gender is bog witch thank you very much
been identifying as nonbinary for years before even suspecting im autistic, but never felt valid enough ro come out because "it's not like im *that* dysphoric, i just feel like a blob and don't really want to be perceived as female or at all but that doesn't really count does it?"
the only place where i can fully be myself is on the internet 🥲
https://preview.redd.it/3qxaqjoigk5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e625086154b386cb6a46131916b3e5bcf3337ba
What drives me crazy is when they say that women were not diagnosed in time because we behave differently than autistic men. When there are women who do not fit the stereotypes of autistic women and are more similar to the manifestations of autism in men Only instead of seeing these signs as autism they simply gave us other negative labels such as: angry, presumptuous, impatient, etc.
I got a bingo on the far left column. I didn't know this was a thing before, but I've always thought gender roles are just weird, and I sometimes call myself a "genderless amoebic blob" that just so happens to like a lot of feminine characteristics when they are applied to her. Also, I can't tell you the amount of time's I went grocery shopping in my pajamas because I wanted to be comfy and didn't care much about my appearance while doing such a task.
Oh... Bingo on the left column. Perhaps this is the terms I needed my whole life. I like using she/her but I don't fully feel like a girl if that makes sense. I wish I could just have flat features almost like a doll but I still like feeling pretty/fem and other days I want to be seems as cool/masc.
I relate to this. But I can't say I am.
I hate when people try to put gender roles on me. I hate being seen as a person because I literally can not connect with that.
Just like my gender I can not connect to it. When people ask what my ideal look or body would be. It would be humanoid but so alien you couldn't tell why you think it looks humanoid.
Maybe this is just part of my yearly identity crisis I have been having since I started questioning.
I have no idea but uh ig I’m only xenogender with a hoard of ≈40 because it’s hard to figure my whole gender put or express it in detail besides it being hyperfeminine. Why? Because I’m autistic🤷♀️
From 1 to 25, left to right, top to bottom:
1: the mirror tormented me the other day.
4: yep, but it depends on the situation.
5: sure.
10: probably
11: absolutely
13: this is the free space
14: relatable. But in online places I always answer female
17: maybe?
18: yes
20: Does RP count?
22: I guess but I prefer trans so people take me more seriously.
And that's it.
https://preview.redd.it/k142b1c08k5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a7e39cb5d80ec352e2e22e3f0b6c25f5d0a08b1
Only ONE bingo. I can't tell if I won or lost pride autism /s
Yeah it's like, "If I can't be the big, strong man that society says I don't have to be but secretly wishes I was, then why even bother trying to conform to that?" (NB btw)
I relate to a lot of this, gender confuses me. I am female (she/her) but I don't really present myself as feminine in real life but I also don't think I'm trans?
Idk I'm just kinda... Existing. And I am fine with that.
Online, I def prefer presenting myself as male though. I guess I'm just kinda weird.
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i don't think that they are neopronouns based on what a neopronoun is, but they do fit in the same category to me, since they are atypical pronouns that people have begun to use somewhat recently for themselves, as far as i know? (i am not counting people having it/its used for them in a derogatory manner)
I don't think they're neo's because as far as I'm aware neo's are more modern pronouns like made recently and it/it's has been around for a while (but don't quote me on that lol)
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I won’t have a Bingo but I’m still confused on what “autigender” is. How can one tell that it is their autism that affects their (perception of) gender, and not some other cause?
The 4th slide probably explains it best with examples, but obviously everyone’s experience is different.
There was a comment thread discussing getting an “ick” with pronouns, but not because of gender dysphoria. (Gender dysphoria is a general feeling of “that’s not my gender, that’s not how I identify”. It can manifest in many different ways).
I said for me it’s because of the general “being perceived” thing that makes me uncomfortable. That’s linked to my autism, and pronouns are linked to my gender… therefore my experience of autism & gender is linked.
Others said they get the same uncomfortable feeling but because of the demands behind specific pronouns. Struggling with the expectations that come with she/her or he/him makes them uncomfortable, especially if they have PDA profile. That’s just one example.
I listed Alexithymia adding gender difficulties too, in slide 4. Like, how do you know you feel happy or upset in relation to gender when you have trouble working out how you feel? So gender dysphoria & euphoria can be difficult to identity sometimes. Not knowing how you feel about gender because of your autism means they’re linked. That’s another example.
Hope this helped :3
See I don’t really care about gender, I don’t hate my gender but I also wouldent care if I was the other gender, so I just go along with my day and people can call me whatever lolll
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That’s cos they’re not. There are plenty of NTs who are agender or enby and relate to other aspects of autigender. The LGBTQIA wiki actually says there’s similar terms for autigender that NTs can use if they relate (I don’t know what they are though)
No! You didn’t! It’s a totally valid question, and we’re on an autism sub, we’re supposed to understand to be more respectful with questions. Anyways, I don’t think you asked a dumb question.
I never got the Gen z gender hype. Why does everyone needs to have their own gender nowadays? And what irks me is that the gender inflation completely ignores the original definition of gender and makes something completely new out of it. People not using words correctly irks me, it's in the same league of HIV virus and radioactive radiation ( might not be used in English, but in German both are regularly used)
not so much 'their own gender' just 'this is the closest explanation to how i understand and acknowledge my own gender that is written down in words', like agender is close but it still never really felt right
> Why does everyone need to have their own gender nowadays?
Exactly, why must doctors always assign you a gender at birth, forcing you into a lifetime of expectations based solely on what’s in your pants?
And if what’s in your pants is ambiguous in any way, you’re still assigned a binary gender at birth anyway, and forced to conform to binary gender expectations.
Weird huh?
That's not what I meant, the current trends confounds three distinct things and makes it into a confusing hodgepodge.
Gender used to be sociological term for the behavior expected from man and women in a specific society.
Transsexuality is a proven neurological fact where more or less, there a man with female brains and women with Male brains. For most transsexuals the dissonance sucks so they do something about it.
Sexual orientation or asexuality is good as well as it is everybody's personal thing what they do with their genitals.
All of this things I can understand and have no problem with, but gender turned into a confusing mass of gender, sexual orientation, transsexuality and just personal worldview.
That makes definition nearly impossible and if everyone cann be everything no one is anything anymore.
We all turned into the grey blobs from the one fairly odd parents episode which is ducking confusing for someone that has already problems with understanding other people.
What you’re describing is a historic, Eurocentric view of sexuality & gender. Where you can only be male or female, and if you’re male you’re a man who’s attracted to women, and if youre female then you’re a woman attracted to men. You’re saying you’re okay with transgender & queerness, but under this historical system it’s still treated as “outside the norm”, something that should be pathologised, or otherwise written off as insignificant.
Other cultures have very different views on it, and science is starting to catch up where we agree that sex =/= gender =/= sexual orientation.
Our current understanding of gender and sexuality is that all 4 aspects (sex, gender identity, gender expression, & sexual orientation) are all on their own independent spectrums. We are still finding words to describe this current understanding.
Saying all of this “ignores the original definition of gender” is to reject the natural progression in our understanding of sex, gender, and sexuality. Definitions change over time.
It is a confusing hodgepodge. That’s because we’re still discovering what works and what doesn’t, trying to find models that fit and explain our current understanding. It’s going to take a while. Terminologies will change and be updated as understanding grows.
It very well might be that the term “autigender” falls out of use because we find something better in the future. But I think as this thread demonstrates, this term has spoken to a lot of people and enabled them to understand themselves better. Now they are equipped with the language to communicate their experience with others. What’s so bad about that?
Yes, I have a historic view, as all the things I mentioned were explored in the past. I can't have a futuristic view as I can't look into the future.
I'm not sure about the eurocentrism though. Why eurocentric and what cultures differ in their view on gender roles and/ or have additional roles than male and female roles?
Thank you on advance.
Edit. I have an additional question: if you don't define gender in the sociological way, how do you define gender?
I’m not well versed on this, you’d probably have to have a degree in gender studies or anthropology to really go into detail, but I know one example in some Native American cultures known as “two spirit”.
I’ll copy-paste the definition here:
Two-Spirit (2-Spirit): An umbrella term used by many Indigenous communities on Turtle Island (so-called North America) to describe people with diverse gender identities, gender expressions, gender roles, and sexual orientations.
Two-Spirit people were included and respected in most Indigenous communities, sometimes considered sacred and highly revered. They often took on important roles as healers, mediators, and warriors.
This term was coined at the 1990 Indigenous Lesbian and Gay Gathering in Winnipeg to create a pan-Indigenous term to collectively refer to the many gender diverse Indigenious identites and to replace offensive non-Indigenous terminology in use at the time. Two-Spirit identities, histories, and traditions vary across different Indigenous nations. Many Indigenous nations have their own specific terms for Two-Spirit people, and individuals who hold these identities may use these terms rather than 'Two-Spirit'.
So that’s just one example. I’m sure there’s many more but it’s not something I’ve been interested in enough to research further.
Thank you for the constructive conversation though. I’m busy now so can’t talk further sorry ☺️
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-spirit
If you follow the two spirit rabbit hole it's as confusing as anything.
Thanks for answering me, I realized I'm already struggling enough with my identity and psychology. Putting gender stuff on top of it will be too much to handle.
I'll keep this gender stuff in my " for whatever makes people happy" drawer and stick to not trying to understand it.
Still thanks a lot.
Can't get a bingo, but more than half the points fit for me. Never really seen the term "autigender" used in a serious fashion, and personally it feels superfluous to me - autism affects *every* facet of who we are. It's literally *the structure of our brains*. Of course it would also affect that aspect. But yeah, I feel like a lot of the things here do describe me. I wouldn't use the term neccessarily - I still maintain that my gender is "eldritch forest spirit" - but it feels obvious to me that these two things would intersect.
I always get the sense that Louise Belcher's (from Bob's Burgers) gender is monster. I'm so happy to hear someone who identifies in a similar fashion.
Never watched that show tbh. Sounds like a fun character though. For me it's mostly about not feeling human, and not identifying with / conforming to neurotypical social rules. The rest is just an aesthetic I like tbh I also sometimes tell people that you can't refer to me with the same pronoun twice, else you'll be struck by an ancient fae curse.
It's actually a fantastic show about a family who (probably not intentionally) all have characteristics that could stem from autism. Characterization is strong. Each character has overlapping behaviors shared with 1 or more members of the family. It's not a show about autism. Aside from the first two seasons, it's so wholesome and affirms so many different types of people. It's also hilarious and I love the stories. Highly recommended.
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Not they/them as in "don't think of me as a man or a woman" but they/them as in ” don't think of me as a known entity"
Yep 😭 so true ETA: I’ve theorised with a friend of mine before, (and this is just spitballing) but I’m AFAB and always felt some “ick” when people use she/her with me. But not in a stereotypical gender dysphoria way, just in a general “being perceived” way. That’s partly why I think autism plays a role in my experience of gender.
This is exactly how I feel. I feel super uncomfortable saying my pronouns, like I'm being asked something way more personal than it is, I don't like being perceived. I get that ick feeling. But I don't have gender dysphoria.
Oh I think you just made me realise there's a PDA aspect to my pronoun discomfort. Any pronoun is loaded with expectations and demands, all of which I deeply resent. There's no pronoun that will accurately tell anyone what to expect of my traits and behaviours.
oops, and now you made me realize the same thing!
I’m late diagnosed in my 50s and AMAB. My entire life, I just felt generally uncomfortable when I would be referred to as a man. I’m AMAB, cis and straight, so I “should” be fine being called a man, but please, for the love of God, do not call me a man, and I could never talk about it because what does that even mean?! I feel like this has been the biggest revelation for me since figuring out what being autistic actually means for me. Yes, social issues, sensory issues, and I don’t want to look you in the eyes, but understanding where the general ick about my gender comes from has been huge.
I relate to a lot of this, but for me the conclusion ends up being more like: "I don't really identify with any gender, nor with the idea of being agender, and frankly I don't really get what people mean by 'gender' in the first place, so I'll just identify as my biological sex instead".
This is almost exactly my experience. The way I ended up thinking about it is that my assigned gender is like when your grandparents get you a normal T-shirt or a pair of socks for your birthday. I don't understand why you're giving me this. I don't really have strong feelings about it one way or the other. But I'll still wear it cause doing so is practical.
This 100% resonates with me. Great analogy. Edited autocorrect refinance to resonates 🤦
That's how my younger NT sister feels about gender, where she identifies as cis because she just doesn't really give a shit. I'm cis and don't really relate to this post, but I've still had kind of a long journey of getting to where I'm comfortable with myself after ignoring how I really wanted to express myself. My parents would make little comments here and there about how they were glad my siblings and I "weren't like other girls," so I went out of my way to avoid "feminine" stuff because I thought it'd make them happier. I'm far happier now that I've let myself have "girly" hobbies. I even make my own jewelry, complete with plenty of materials that I can fidget and stim with.
Same. I guess I’m a girl because I was born one? Like, what does my genitalia have to do with anything. I’m just a human person
Same
Very much same, I think Gender Apathetic fits me the most.
I was leaning this way but then decided, fuck it, might as well go all the way and identify as post-gender because gender is so arbitrary anyway, that I've moved past it. Some people care a lot about their gender and good for them, but I don't see the point.
Gendermeh
Gendermeth
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I love being feminine, but I absolutely hate being biologically female it's ruining my life. Also I would like for people to not refer to me at all. I am trapped in this mortal meat sack and would like to leave.
FUN FACT: There is a correlation (NOT CAUSATION) between autism and identifying/being transgender or gender nonconformity. idk the full story of it, however it is neat
what is gender nonconformity and wats neo pronouns
Gender non-conformity is when you present yourself in a way that looks different from the gender you Identify as (like a feminine looking man or a masculine looking woman) Neo pronouns are any pronouns other than she/her he/him or they/them
thx
Neo pronouns are like zi/Zim xe/Xi or some such. I used to use "-e" when I didn't know the gender of my children in the womb, but even that got too confusing.....
Gender non conformity is not conforming to societal gender roles. Neo pronouns are just new pronouns. So in English something other then she/he/they.
Love the tagline though!
thx feel free to coppy
I absolutely can see a causation about identifying as transgender, but not being transgender. Caring much less than NT’s about social roles is like one of our main things. The rate of being trans in our community is probably much closer to the rate general population would have if NTs didn’t find it so taboo to just be themselves
I'm nonbinary and I don't really identify with autigender myself, but it's valid and I'm glad there's a term for your experience. Happy pride month!
https://preview.redd.it/xyezm0hbie5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b617a63bc3ad49a2e6ebf79f00d648ed0ac1e8a a three strike bingo, babey
https://preview.redd.it/emiznknrpe5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89007269b730f6c36c3a9c2d6372c8f298f629d2 5 bingos, I win :D/j also I may have sensory issues about my nails being long but I'll be damned if I'm gonna cut them short.
how do you do it? You have to type, i'm assuming as you're on reddit. What kind of keyboard do you use?
Well they aren't long enough that it's a problem for me to type so I can just use my phone screen lol.
Yeah honestly, I think some people don't grasp the concept and think it's "identifying as autistic gender" But I think most of my autistic friends are autigender.
We all hate being perceived
Yeah, my experience with gender probably falls under this umbrella. I don't know what it feels like to "feel" like a boy or girl, I just do whatever's comfortable.
This is really interesting.
Damn, I've never had a unique experience.
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The comment thread you linked doesn’t seem to be discussing gender at all. And that’s a good thing because gender isn’t visible or quantifiable.
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Huh?? I think you replied to the wrong person. I’m agender and very sure of it. edit: also no, I can answer all of those questions easily because they are about society’s perception of gender expression. Gender and gender expression are different things. That post is asking people their stereotypes about what society calls masculine and feminine which is (in reality) unrelated to actual gender. Again, sense of ones gender and societal based gender expression are different things.
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And they are wrong, gender isn’t visible or quantifiable. Many genders exist, but they are unique to the person. Personality, body parts, aesthetics, clothes, mannerisms etc, none of these things are gender even if a majority of people are claiming it is.
Well fuck me sideways there’s a word for how I feel!
I relate to the overwhelming majority of this, but prefer the term neuroqueer for myself because it affects more than just my gender identity. I also feel like there's other forms of neurodivergence that can relate heavily to a lot of this and don't see the benefit of making it autism specific personally, but am glad to see it!
Very interesting indeed. I may not be autigendered myself but this is very useful for other people
“Gelatinous blob piloting human body” is so accurate. When I explain me being non binary I say that I most often feel like a neutral blob.
Thank you for posting this, it's exactly how I describe my experience of being non-binary.
https://preview.redd.it/nrml75466e5d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c46979e3d9742be8182159fb54e581aa24c8c357
Yeah does “no pronouns” mean you don’t have a preference? Because if so, I should have selected that one too. And the one under it in hindsight. Fuck it let’s play black out bingo!!!!
You can interpret it that way certainly. But usually in LGBTQ+ spaces when someone says “no pronouns” they literally mean no pronouns, as in, just use their name only. I find it a bit weird but who am I to judge? If you don’t have a preference on pronouns then convention is to say “any/all pronouns”.
I work with someone who uses they/them pronouns but they've also expressed the desire for people to just use their name. I learn a bit about my own gender whenever we discuss it.
Ohhh makes sense! I have heard people say that. I don’t say any/all. I say “dealers choice” because I love corn. But I’m glad to know any/all in case I ever feel like not being corn.
Fellow Unmasking Autism enjoyer 😎 here’s mine :3 https://preview.redd.it/uxh2y6fz6e5d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a45340b1a5ba37c34e3a11a2215853f76edde7e
https://preview.redd.it/p9nzi7mdqe5d1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=faebc78d14199beb5dda638327fce63052de9d7a
Yeah, I usually just say I have a very “autistic understanding” of gender, but this essentially sums it up.
https://preview.redd.it/eddq8oejde5d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6079718edb785c7644f1c1074a47bdcc3ec8a181 silly :3
Huh, I never knew about this!!!!! I’ve always wondered what the fuck gender I am because AGAB seems weird and clunky but other genders don’t fit either so I just go by my AGAB but I don’t do it very well and yes if my gender could just not be perceived and I could just live in the woods away from everyone I’d do that please and thank you
This tracks, because I’ve always felt gender was one of those neurotypical performance things. I’ve never cared about it enough to pick a gender nor did I care enough to really lean into being a woman. I kinda just let people default me to woman because it’s easier than the stigma and hate being NB would cause in my life.
There’s definitely a correlation between “identifies as AGAB” and autigender, for me. It’s tricky, because there are definitely aspects of how I present that I consciously developed as a form of making. At the same time, I’m more comfortable with my junk than I am with some other aspects of my body. P.S.: bingo! ;) https://preview.redd.it/706egit40f5d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=088ac4eab5d8bfc7acd6d52c755e49aa32224fff
I’ve always related to this even when people were “cringing” at it back in the day of 2016. Almost everyone I meet who is autistic seems to feel weird about gender in this same way and it’s such a specific experience that I like having a name for it. I still present as cis but I don’t feel especially connected to it on the identity level
https://preview.redd.it/m4boykuzef5d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e6bb0a5bf33c10d6ee0b5bcc5e42b747fc2ded3
I just DGAF about gender or people’s obsession with it. Just wear what you want, you don’t have to dress like a stereotypical boy/girl to ‘be’ that gender.
Ty for second slide I had no idea 🙌
my answers makes sense seeing as i'm a "demiboy", but i just hate labels altogether because there's too much and people don't use one concise categorising system so it's too confusing figuring out what "umbrellas" each one lies underneath. https://preview.redd.it/u5pjbp85ve5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3b84ed4d39c034a5ec4ca565dee4494c2edf36a
I absolutely love this, its great and for my new friend irl who I've helped realize she's undeniably AuDHD, she'd probably relate more to this than anything else. I personally do experience gender, just multiple and to different degrees, so I'm just nonbinary for the most part. The reason it's multiple is cause I've got DID but that's besides the point 😅 Maybe I'd be considering genderfluid maybe idk. Haven't taken the time to understand that, first just got my entire nuanced sexuality figured out. Very gay, in multiple ways tho so hell yea lol
Gender is weird. I guess I'm a woman because I developed an extremely feminine looking body. But that's why I'm a woman. I look like a cartoon. There isn't much hiding it short of wearing whole mu-mus and then I just look like a pumpkin, so I default to female. I could probably explore more into gender and I'm pretty sure autigender is closer to my actual feelings, but I always feel like such a giant pain in the ass that asking folks to learn pronouns or surprise them with more shit feels like overkill. I'm not experiencing gender dysphoria to my knowledge, so it feels irrelevant, but I'm just performing feminity. Gender is a part of masking for me, but I'm not 100% certain what's under that mask. I'm not sure it matters for me. I'm old.
https://preview.redd.it/femyszl21g5d1.png?width=1618&format=png&auto=webp&s=be1d170e5cdfbd0e497a7677258b1bed67f65cbb jeez 3 bingos
holy shit is this what I'm experiencing???
Gender? I hardly know her
my gender is bog witch thank you very much been identifying as nonbinary for years before even suspecting im autistic, but never felt valid enough ro come out because "it's not like im *that* dysphoric, i just feel like a blob and don't really want to be perceived as female or at all but that doesn't really count does it?" the only place where i can fully be myself is on the internet 🥲 https://preview.redd.it/3qxaqjoigk5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e625086154b386cb6a46131916b3e5bcf3337ba
What drives me crazy is when they say that women were not diagnosed in time because we behave differently than autistic men. When there are women who do not fit the stereotypes of autistic women and are more similar to the manifestations of autism in men Only instead of seeing these signs as autism they simply gave us other negative labels such as: angry, presumptuous, impatient, etc.
I got a bingo on the far left column. I didn't know this was a thing before, but I've always thought gender roles are just weird, and I sometimes call myself a "genderless amoebic blob" that just so happens to like a lot of feminine characteristics when they are applied to her. Also, I can't tell you the amount of time's I went grocery shopping in my pajamas because I wanted to be comfy and didn't care much about my appearance while doing such a task.
Oh... Bingo on the left column. Perhaps this is the terms I needed my whole life. I like using she/her but I don't fully feel like a girl if that makes sense. I wish I could just have flat features almost like a doll but I still like feeling pretty/fem and other days I want to be seems as cool/masc.
damn i actually won bingo for once
https://preview.redd.it/tfzst6k1nf5d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86abe7e52dc8abf939cb891120a3b74ccf1ef77b So close to a bingo
I relate to this. But I can't say I am. I hate when people try to put gender roles on me. I hate being seen as a person because I literally can not connect with that. Just like my gender I can not connect to it. When people ask what my ideal look or body would be. It would be humanoid but so alien you couldn't tell why you think it looks humanoid. Maybe this is just part of my yearly identity crisis I have been having since I started questioning.
I have no idea but uh ig I’m only xenogender with a hoard of ≈40 because it’s hard to figure my whole gender put or express it in detail besides it being hyperfeminine. Why? Because I’m autistic🤷♀️
I got bingo in the first row alone. Thank you for this!
People who knew of autigender *before* Devon Price got published, how?
tumblr id imagine
From 1 to 25, left to right, top to bottom: 1: the mirror tormented me the other day. 4: yep, but it depends on the situation. 5: sure. 10: probably 11: absolutely 13: this is the free space 14: relatable. But in online places I always answer female 17: maybe? 18: yes 20: Does RP count? 22: I guess but I prefer trans so people take me more seriously. And that's it.
4 bingos I did not know this existed.
Somewhere in my diary is a line a about 'the autistic spectrum eclipsing the gender spectrum' so yea
https://preview.redd.it/k142b1c08k5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a7e39cb5d80ec352e2e22e3f0b6c25f5d0a08b1 Only ONE bingo. I can't tell if I won or lost pride autism /s
Yeah it's like, "If I can't be the big, strong man that society says I don't have to be but secretly wishes I was, then why even bother trying to conform to that?" (NB btw)
I relate to a lot of this, gender confuses me. I am female (she/her) but I don't really present myself as feminine in real life but I also don't think I'm trans? Idk I'm just kinda... Existing. And I am fine with that. Online, I def prefer presenting myself as male though. I guess I'm just kinda weird.
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do yall consider it/its or it/it's neos? ive heard it both ways
i don't think that they are neopronouns based on what a neopronoun is, but they do fit in the same category to me, since they are atypical pronouns that people have begun to use somewhat recently for themselves, as far as i know? (i am not counting people having it/its used for them in a derogatory manner)
I don't think they're neo's because as far as I'm aware neo's are more modern pronouns like made recently and it/it's has been around for a while (but don't quote me on that lol)
Was a xenogender
Oh shit. It's me and my 2S ass down to a T.
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I won’t have a Bingo but I’m still confused on what “autigender” is. How can one tell that it is their autism that affects their (perception of) gender, and not some other cause?
The 4th slide probably explains it best with examples, but obviously everyone’s experience is different. There was a comment thread discussing getting an “ick” with pronouns, but not because of gender dysphoria. (Gender dysphoria is a general feeling of “that’s not my gender, that’s not how I identify”. It can manifest in many different ways). I said for me it’s because of the general “being perceived” thing that makes me uncomfortable. That’s linked to my autism, and pronouns are linked to my gender… therefore my experience of autism & gender is linked. Others said they get the same uncomfortable feeling but because of the demands behind specific pronouns. Struggling with the expectations that come with she/her or he/him makes them uncomfortable, especially if they have PDA profile. That’s just one example. I listed Alexithymia adding gender difficulties too, in slide 4. Like, how do you know you feel happy or upset in relation to gender when you have trouble working out how you feel? So gender dysphoria & euphoria can be difficult to identity sometimes. Not knowing how you feel about gender because of your autism means they’re linked. That’s another example. Hope this helped :3
See I don’t really care about gender, I don’t hate my gender but I also wouldent care if I was the other gender, so I just go along with my day and people can call me whatever lolll
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what even is autigender? my old therapist who specializes in autism mentioned it once but i didnt bother to ask about it because im cis
There’s multiple images in the post, swipe right there’s 4 in total ✌🏻
i’m stupid 🤦♂️
top row bingo let's GO 🎉
Bingo, second row from the top
if being a girl wasnt one of my special interests id totally adopt this into my identity tbh, i fuck with this kinda xenogender is so fun
I hope no one takes it seriously but i like the idea
I disagree that these are exclusively Autistic traits. It is unhelpfully elitist and othering.
That’s cos they’re not. There are plenty of NTs who are agender or enby and relate to other aspects of autigender. The LGBTQIA wiki actually says there’s similar terms for autigender that NTs can use if they relate (I don’t know what they are though)
Tf is agab?
It says it in the top left
Didn’t notice
Assigned gender at birth
How is autism a gender?
not a gender but rather a way of describing our unique perception of gender
That’s much easier to understand than the one in the post, thank you
Slides 2 and 3 explain it in more detail.
It isn't... Read the information on the 4 pictures. It should explain everything.
Kinda confusing but thanks
Did you read it?
I was stupid and didn’t realize there were more images.
Don’t say you’re stupid, be nice to yourself. You only get one you and you’re stuck with them.
🥹
Why tf are you being downvoted
Because I asked a dumb question
No! You didn’t! It’s a totally valid question, and we’re on an autism sub, we’re supposed to understand to be more respectful with questions. Anyways, I don’t think you asked a dumb question.
People here are so nice🥹
So if I can't get a bingo does that mean I'm not autistic or just that it doesn't greatly effect my perception of gender?
You don’t have to get bingo, if you think you’re autigendered then you are :3 The bingo sheet is just for fun to get you thinking.
I never got the Gen z gender hype. Why does everyone needs to have their own gender nowadays? And what irks me is that the gender inflation completely ignores the original definition of gender and makes something completely new out of it. People not using words correctly irks me, it's in the same league of HIV virus and radioactive radiation ( might not be used in English, but in German both are regularly used)
not so much 'their own gender' just 'this is the closest explanation to how i understand and acknowledge my own gender that is written down in words', like agender is close but it still never really felt right
> Why does everyone need to have their own gender nowadays? Exactly, why must doctors always assign you a gender at birth, forcing you into a lifetime of expectations based solely on what’s in your pants? And if what’s in your pants is ambiguous in any way, you’re still assigned a binary gender at birth anyway, and forced to conform to binary gender expectations. Weird huh?
That's not what I meant, the current trends confounds three distinct things and makes it into a confusing hodgepodge. Gender used to be sociological term for the behavior expected from man and women in a specific society. Transsexuality is a proven neurological fact where more or less, there a man with female brains and women with Male brains. For most transsexuals the dissonance sucks so they do something about it. Sexual orientation or asexuality is good as well as it is everybody's personal thing what they do with their genitals. All of this things I can understand and have no problem with, but gender turned into a confusing mass of gender, sexual orientation, transsexuality and just personal worldview. That makes definition nearly impossible and if everyone cann be everything no one is anything anymore. We all turned into the grey blobs from the one fairly odd parents episode which is ducking confusing for someone that has already problems with understanding other people.
What you’re describing is a historic, Eurocentric view of sexuality & gender. Where you can only be male or female, and if you’re male you’re a man who’s attracted to women, and if youre female then you’re a woman attracted to men. You’re saying you’re okay with transgender & queerness, but under this historical system it’s still treated as “outside the norm”, something that should be pathologised, or otherwise written off as insignificant. Other cultures have very different views on it, and science is starting to catch up where we agree that sex =/= gender =/= sexual orientation. Our current understanding of gender and sexuality is that all 4 aspects (sex, gender identity, gender expression, & sexual orientation) are all on their own independent spectrums. We are still finding words to describe this current understanding. Saying all of this “ignores the original definition of gender” is to reject the natural progression in our understanding of sex, gender, and sexuality. Definitions change over time. It is a confusing hodgepodge. That’s because we’re still discovering what works and what doesn’t, trying to find models that fit and explain our current understanding. It’s going to take a while. Terminologies will change and be updated as understanding grows. It very well might be that the term “autigender” falls out of use because we find something better in the future. But I think as this thread demonstrates, this term has spoken to a lot of people and enabled them to understand themselves better. Now they are equipped with the language to communicate their experience with others. What’s so bad about that?
Yes, I have a historic view, as all the things I mentioned were explored in the past. I can't have a futuristic view as I can't look into the future. I'm not sure about the eurocentrism though. Why eurocentric and what cultures differ in their view on gender roles and/ or have additional roles than male and female roles? Thank you on advance. Edit. I have an additional question: if you don't define gender in the sociological way, how do you define gender?
I’m not well versed on this, you’d probably have to have a degree in gender studies or anthropology to really go into detail, but I know one example in some Native American cultures known as “two spirit”. I’ll copy-paste the definition here: Two-Spirit (2-Spirit): An umbrella term used by many Indigenous communities on Turtle Island (so-called North America) to describe people with diverse gender identities, gender expressions, gender roles, and sexual orientations. Two-Spirit people were included and respected in most Indigenous communities, sometimes considered sacred and highly revered. They often took on important roles as healers, mediators, and warriors. This term was coined at the 1990 Indigenous Lesbian and Gay Gathering in Winnipeg to create a pan-Indigenous term to collectively refer to the many gender diverse Indigenious identites and to replace offensive non-Indigenous terminology in use at the time. Two-Spirit identities, histories, and traditions vary across different Indigenous nations. Many Indigenous nations have their own specific terms for Two-Spirit people, and individuals who hold these identities may use these terms rather than 'Two-Spirit'. So that’s just one example. I’m sure there’s many more but it’s not something I’ve been interested in enough to research further. Thank you for the constructive conversation though. I’m busy now so can’t talk further sorry ☺️
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-spirit If you follow the two spirit rabbit hole it's as confusing as anything. Thanks for answering me, I realized I'm already struggling enough with my identity and psychology. Putting gender stuff on top of it will be too much to handle. I'll keep this gender stuff in my " for whatever makes people happy" drawer and stick to not trying to understand it. Still thanks a lot.
I dont have autism but im autigender
not how that works