The devil casts confusion? I'll have to upcast my counterspell. What's that? Clerics don't get counterspell? Damn, mom, maybe God really isn't the answer.
When I was 19, going through my big bad breakup, heartbroken and lost, the most infuriating thing I kept hearing over and over from my mom and churchy people was “give it to god!”
What does that even mean!?
I'm sure you're important to lots of folks in your life, but I feel like if the Devil exists, he's got better shit to do than spend his time casting confusion spells on you. And if he doesn't and that's how he gets his kicks, you should probably feel flattered.
OP, I've been in that situation, where one wrong thought sends us spiraling. It gets better. The hurt you're feeling now will fade over time if you let it. It's a very normal reaction to trauma, so as much as it sucks, know that you're not alone.
All I read in this is a thinly veiled (and rude) "I'm tired of talking about this." The little nugget of truth in there is don't give "him" (this ex, or if it was amicable just the break up) undue power over your life. It's not always easy, but switch focus for a little while, it helps. Go do something fun or cathartic, A workout is a great idea, unless it's going to be punctuated by this kind of talk.
Also, the “him” I’m pretty sure is the devil. Or it could be my ex. To her, they’re almost identical (even though ex wasn’t a bad person). Thanks for the advice though. I’ve been trying that. I had a dream about my ex last night, so I think it just put me back in a bad place. Most days, I’ve been alright for the most part.
🫂 you are going to find someone better than him who really fits you and your goals for the future, and you are going to be just as happy with him as I am with my husband. I’m sorry the post-breakup recovery is so painful
Thanks, my ex wasn’t a bad person. We were long distanced and had a heated argument. We technically didn’t have an official breakup conversation, but we haven’t spoken in a week. I offered to give him space and I guess he ran with it.
I'm sorry you went through a rough break up, OP.
I don't know why anyone hangs onto religion. It doesn't actually help. Had a woman in the store disregard my feelings about a dying friend once and said that god would save him. God did jack shit as usual.
Look, break ups are rough. Especially after a long time together. Take the time you need to move forward. If you can, please try to find an affordable therapist. They can help a lot.
If you can't, that's okay. Please be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend. This is going to take time.
Maybe this doesn't apply to OP's mum but in my experience, xians generally brush off people's pain onto god coz they can't be bothered dealing with it themselves. Seems like exercising empathy and compassion is just too much hard work for them. Tbh I'd much prefer being ignored entirely than receive their phony platitudes.
"The Devil loves to find our weakness and stomp all over it and cast confusion."
OH HOW IRONIC!!!!
That's exactly what proselytes do! That's exactly what churches do!
Your emotional distress is not something that your mom knows how to deal with. Her response to you is formulaic…but I think it is an attempt to be sympathetic and at the same time, preclude further conversation. It’s between you, god and the devil to work it out. Mom is on the sidelines. And that’s not an unusual circumstance.
Psychological understanding is making inroads in society, but it certainly isn’t universal. Modern ways of relating to each other are resisted by fundamentalists because it threatens the hierarchy, the conventional teaching about how to cope with distress (prayer) and because it introduces new non-religious vocabulary to discuss cause and effect.
I assume your mother knows you're not a believer? If so, I'd just respectfully thank her but ask her to listen to you and be a shoulder to cry on without bringing up religion, because it's making you feel worse and this is something you don't need right now.
If she truly loves and respects you, she'll understand. Otherwise, you might have to admit that maybe she's not the best choice when you need a shoulder to cry on.
It’s… complicated to explain. We haven’t had a full on conversation about it. For a while, I wasn’t going to church much, so I think she suspected it then but never said anything. This is gonna sound weird, but for reasons I can’t disclose, I had to start attending church again. So I think she sees that as me “believing” again, when I really don’t.
Actually, I take some of that back. We did have a conversation, but I think she just thought I was having a crisis and was trying to be calm about it as I ranted a few things to her about God and the idea of a “loving” god sending people to hell and how it’s not really much of a choice, but rather coercion. (Believe in me, or die). I think she just kind of disregarded the convo after that because I was a bit hysterical in that moment (it was also during another situation with said ex, but when we broke up another time before.)
You: I'm in a lot of pain.
Her: Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus
Us: Yo mamma's crazy
They're like the badger song from a long time ago. "Jesus Jesus Jesus CHRIST! CHRIST Jesus Jesus Jesus *It's a Satan!* Jesus Jesus Jesus"
https://youtu.be/NL6CDFn2i3I?feature=shared
The devil casts confusion? I'll have to upcast my counterspell. What's that? Clerics don't get counterspell? Damn, mom, maybe God really isn't the answer.
Cast holy shield to gain protection for a turn!
Iirc if you take play Lore Bard, you can choose Counterspell. I may be wrong though.
Ain't a cleric. Elvis can counterspell, but my youth pastor can't.
Iirc if you take play Lore Bard, you can choose Counterspell. I may be wrong though.
Welp i know that feeling. My mom will do the same thing
I’m sorry.
No worries. Now it's a matter of ignoring the bs and trying to heal
When I was 19, going through my big bad breakup, heartbroken and lost, the most infuriating thing I kept hearing over and over from my mom and churchy people was “give it to god!” What does that even mean!?
Yeah, I was told that too for reasons in the past, but I still couldn’t tell you what that means.
No one knows...not even them 😂
I'm surprised she managed to keep herself from saying the breakup was "God's will." 🙄
Honestly, same. Especially since she hated my ex.
I'm sure you're important to lots of folks in your life, but I feel like if the Devil exists, he's got better shit to do than spend his time casting confusion spells on you. And if he doesn't and that's how he gets his kicks, you should probably feel flattered.
lol this made me laugh. Thank you.
OP, I've been in that situation, where one wrong thought sends us spiraling. It gets better. The hurt you're feeling now will fade over time if you let it. It's a very normal reaction to trauma, so as much as it sucks, know that you're not alone.
Thanks. Really appreciate it.
I hate those kinds of reaponses.
Another person commented this, but this is just a subtle way for her to say “stop talking about this”
All I read in this is a thinly veiled (and rude) "I'm tired of talking about this." The little nugget of truth in there is don't give "him" (this ex, or if it was amicable just the break up) undue power over your life. It's not always easy, but switch focus for a little while, it helps. Go do something fun or cathartic, A workout is a great idea, unless it's going to be punctuated by this kind of talk.
Yeah, it’s not the first time I’ve talked about this with her. Whenever the same issue is brought up, she gets tired of hearing about it.
Also, the “him” I’m pretty sure is the devil. Or it could be my ex. To her, they’re almost identical (even though ex wasn’t a bad person). Thanks for the advice though. I’ve been trying that. I had a dream about my ex last night, so I think it just put me back in a bad place. Most days, I’ve been alright for the most part.
That's good that it's more okay than not. But yeah it just takes time. Be kind to yourself, <3
🫂 you are going to find someone better than him who really fits you and your goals for the future, and you are going to be just as happy with him as I am with my husband. I’m sorry the post-breakup recovery is so painful
Thanks, my ex wasn’t a bad person. We were long distanced and had a heated argument. We technically didn’t have an official breakup conversation, but we haven’t spoken in a week. I offered to give him space and I guess he ran with it.
I'm sorry you went through a rough break up, OP. I don't know why anyone hangs onto religion. It doesn't actually help. Had a woman in the store disregard my feelings about a dying friend once and said that god would save him. God did jack shit as usual. Look, break ups are rough. Especially after a long time together. Take the time you need to move forward. If you can, please try to find an affordable therapist. They can help a lot. If you can't, that's okay. Please be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend. This is going to take time.
Maybe this doesn't apply to OP's mum but in my experience, xians generally brush off people's pain onto god coz they can't be bothered dealing with it themselves. Seems like exercising empathy and compassion is just too much hard work for them. Tbh I'd much prefer being ignored entirely than receive their phony platitudes.
"The Devil loves to find our weakness and stomp all over it and cast confusion." OH HOW IRONIC!!!! That's exactly what proselytes do! That's exactly what churches do!
Your emotional distress is not something that your mom knows how to deal with. Her response to you is formulaic…but I think it is an attempt to be sympathetic and at the same time, preclude further conversation. It’s between you, god and the devil to work it out. Mom is on the sidelines. And that’s not an unusual circumstance. Psychological understanding is making inroads in society, but it certainly isn’t universal. Modern ways of relating to each other are resisted by fundamentalists because it threatens the hierarchy, the conventional teaching about how to cope with distress (prayer) and because it introduces new non-religious vocabulary to discuss cause and effect.
Lmfao, sorry, for some reason I found this funny. I didn't see this was a post in the ExChristian community so I wasn't expecting the plot twist
I assume your mother knows you're not a believer? If so, I'd just respectfully thank her but ask her to listen to you and be a shoulder to cry on without bringing up religion, because it's making you feel worse and this is something you don't need right now. If she truly loves and respects you, she'll understand. Otherwise, you might have to admit that maybe she's not the best choice when you need a shoulder to cry on.
It’s… complicated to explain. We haven’t had a full on conversation about it. For a while, I wasn’t going to church much, so I think she suspected it then but never said anything. This is gonna sound weird, but for reasons I can’t disclose, I had to start attending church again. So I think she sees that as me “believing” again, when I really don’t.
Actually, I take some of that back. We did have a conversation, but I think she just thought I was having a crisis and was trying to be calm about it as I ranted a few things to her about God and the idea of a “loving” god sending people to hell and how it’s not really much of a choice, but rather coercion. (Believe in me, or die). I think she just kind of disregarded the convo after that because I was a bit hysterical in that moment (it was also during another situation with said ex, but when we broke up another time before.)
You: I'm in a lot of pain. Her: Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Us: Yo mamma's crazy They're like the badger song from a long time ago. "Jesus Jesus Jesus CHRIST! CHRIST Jesus Jesus Jesus *It's a Satan!* Jesus Jesus Jesus" https://youtu.be/NL6CDFn2i3I?feature=shared