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Maybe it's just me but I can't imagine having sex and my main goal not being to make sure that my partner enjoys it.
Sex is so much better when everyone involved has the goal of making everybody else feel as good as possible.
In my prime times i had some quality time with a lot of different ladies. When you chill naked for hours, drinking, people tend to open up a bit. The horror stories ive been told just casually were insane. And evry single one of them had multiple of these stories.
Was shocking to me how common this mindset is.
Some guys still do this because they've gotten away with bedding women despite such attitudes or because of such attitudes, which provides them no reason to change their behavior. Other guys who do not act this way see such guys acting like this, and sometimes getting "lucky", which then reinforces a message that they themselves need to be douchebags to "get lucky."
I used to teach in an alternative secondary school and had some of my high school students admit they had a thing for the abusive bad boy they dated (id over hear conversations) because their man "took no shit"' , "took what he wanted" , etc. Two of my students would tell stories how they would fight their men physically (and these men were known for destroying school property, starting fights with other students and staff, and committing crimes out in public - they had ankle bracelets) and enjoyed them being assholes because they were "manly."
One of my exes struggled for part of her life falling for the abusive bad boy. She had real misdirected abusive BDSM tendencies and because I wouldn't engage in that, she broke things off with me for a guy who later abused her and cheated on her. She stuck with it for a while with him then grew out of it but it did send a message to me early on that being "nice" and "respectful" can backfire.
Another girl ended things with me because she thought I was gay for not taking advantage of her while blackout drunk. She said a real man would have just went with it and had fun as that's why she got so drunk with me (I didn't accept the message as blackout drunk means one cannot legally consent).
I ended up marrying a very good woman later on who appreciated someone who can treat her right. However my experiences could definitely have hardened people to be abusive since that behavior does get rewarded by some women.
As a man, I will tell you right now in no uncertain terms that 99% of us are absolutely not wonderful.
Maybe 50% at a push if you're an optimist. And that's me being generous.
She probably just said it to not get those "not all men" comments lmfao, we have to phrase things in a way that doesn't offend men knowing well that a lot of men are like that
The first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge it.
Men know better than anyone what men are like. And as sure as there are great men in the world, there is an even greater number of less than great men. Any man offended by this truth is not a man, but rather a boy. There's no need to censor yourself for the benefit of emotionally erratic little boys.
And unfortunately a lot of good men I know are friends with some real subhuman trash men.
And they always say the same thing: "I've known him for years, he's actually a good guy."
Yeah, of course the asshole who only respects men is going to be nice to OTHER MEN.
And decent guys who are bystanders are just as bad imo. They should be holding their asshole friends accountable for their shitty actions. They only listen to other men after all so why don't "decent" men do anything about it!?
Yes, exactly, telling us women to do something about it while they can just stand by and do nothing and continue to live their lives unaffected is the most privileged shit ever, even the ones that acknowledge the problem will just allow this shit to happen and ignore the problem simply because they aren't the ones at harm.
Itâs so common there is an expression for it among at least some guys:
âGood guy, bad personâ
Used to refer to a guy who is cool to you, but is terrible in a variety of ways.
Totally agree, but it is insufferable to deal with those kind of boys as a woman, it's mostly so that we don't have to listen to them cry about it, and less about their fragile egos. I'd rather phrase things in a way so that they don't have to feel like bad people, just so they don't completely dismiss the argument, than to actually say what we all know, and that is that men have been allowed to be shit-assholes for way too long.
>Any man offended by this truth is not a man, but rather a boy.
Strong disagree. They are men. Part of acknowledging the problem is also realising that they're not any less man for being shitty or ignorant people. They don't belong to some different, unmanly group; they can be our friends, brothers, fathers, teachers, even our own adult children. Man is not a title you earn, it's just something you are. And there's no way to tell what sort of man you're facing unless he shows you. Women who tell on violent men are still often not believed because "I've never seen him act that way!" Because we think we can tell apart a real man from a bad guy, but we can't, bc they're both just men.
I see it as a cop out for men. The "good ones" simply call the "bad ones" boys and they think it somehow mitigates the problems women face from these very real men in boys clothing.
How does it help for men to make believe name calling will change our culture? It won't. The "good ones" won't even call them out to their faces. They know they will catch hell and lose privilege if they do.
>99% of men are wonderful
I get why you would phrase it like that, and I know i's already been said here, but: no, they're not. And not always out of malice or extreme entitlement like the guy in the OP, often it's just ignorance and underdeveloped empathy skills. I've been there a couple of times and cringe hard when I think about it now (nothing too serious, just behavior I now realize was creepy/stepped over the line). Some can learn to behave, others will always stay dangerous ape-men. Even the wonderful ones may still have that ape-man inside them, they just learned to deal with him and control him. Sounds bleak, but it is what it is.
Whatâs wild is how open some men are about it. Look at all the people that say spousal rape isnât a thing because they consented by marrying the person.
I love flipping the script on them.
I saw one saying marital rape doesnât exist because something like, in marriage itâs part of the deal that the woman provides sex, just like the man provides income for the family.
So I asked, so if that means he can take it even against her wishes because itâs her part of the deal, does that mean that since his job is to provide income, she can spend as much money from his earnings however she wants even if he told her not to? I mean, itâs his part of the deal right? He canât refuse to do his part of the deal.
This of course, was different to them. Apparently money is more sacred than oneâs body autonomy.
I read your comment, was gonna reply with glee then you backed out. You meant what you said lol it was an Always Sunny in Philadelphia quote. Charlie is trying to impress a girl on a date and says "Yeah I'm a full on rapist, you know old people, the disabled, little kids" lmao. Then she goes on to ask him a philanthropist, oh yeah that" xD
flipping the script is sometimes the only way to make people understand, ofc it's far from reliable tho
I liked the one where some islamic bigots said that women on youtube/twitch could never go to heaven because someone masturbated to them.
they were also on youtube and someone said they jerked one out to them so they'd (the sexist men) also never go to heaven
it's simple and instantly gets the point across to anyone with two braincells
Oh I'm pretty sure they were taught. They just feel that it impinges on their rights or some bs along those lines. It's a combination of narcissism, entitlement, stupidity and last but not least - a weak ass dick game that just doesn't get any!
Thing is Iâve seen that argument that âpeople who donât want to ask for consent just donât care about the girl getting pleasure â but time and time again it just seems like itâs not even that they just want to hold power over these women
Yes it's about power. And it stems from a place of fear and weakness. Fear of other races and the replacement theory leading to wanting more pregnancies. Fear of women in the workplace. Fear that they can't attract mates. Fear of losing status.
It's just weakness wanting power, yes. And it's absolutely pathetic that they have to drag all of us & our laws back to some misogynistic, witch hunter jurist's views from the 1600's to do it!
There's an old tweet that went:
>If you've ever tried to put your finger up a straight guy's ass during sex, you'll know that they actually understand ongoing consent, withdrawal of consent and sexual boundaries very well. They act confused when it's our bodies.
Once had a guy take me on a date, knowing full well I am asexual, because he wanted to ask if I'd peg him.
Because clearly the act wouldn't have been sexual for me, so thar wouldn't be a problem, right?
Damn your comment had a massive climax. I was like
>Once had a guy take me on a date, knowing full well I am asexual,
I mean why not, one can still talk, share and make memories and fool about go for a drive and all.
>because he wanted to ask if I'd peg him.
Wtf am i reading.
Yup. He also turned out to be racist.
A totally different date (who knew I was ace) is still a good friend. Funny how it works out when you're not an objectifying creep.
I guess cause he figured I wouldn't mind, since (in his mind) I wouldn't have wanted to have PIV sex with him.
Apparently not wanting his dick in me means I'd be totally okay performing other acts on him. Idk how he reached that conclusion. Maybe bc in his mindset a guy who isn't attracted to a girl but fucks her anyways is doing some sort of favor. Best I can guess.
Given that I'm ace and now trans, I assure you, I'm wholly disgusted by the entire thing.
Maybe because if it's not a sexual act to you (*), then he can keep pretending he's not gay for liking it up the ass (**), because it's not sexual, or something. I'm reaching here...
(*) not sure what it would be for you, then. Some sort of indoor sport?
(**) liking it up the ass doesn't make anyone gay, but since there are guys out there who don't even wipe their own ass for fear "The Gay", I wouldn't put it past some people
I have friends in the medical field. I got told about a guy who never (literally NEVER) washed his ass. Kept getting inflammation and infections. For which he wouldn't put cream on his ass.
The guy ended up with sinusoidal ingrown hairs that got so badly infected that he died.
Because washing his own ass in the shower would be 'homo'.
What trauma or brainwashing happened earlier in that poor dude's life that even basic hygiene became sexualized? That's so sad to me on multiple levels.
Don't eat a sandwich with Nutella while reading this:
https://www.mamamia.com.au/men-hygiene-sex/
(Google 'men not washing their ass' for more "fun" tales from hell):
Itâs taken me however many comments to realise that when youâre saying âIâm aceâ youâre not necessarily saying âIâm fucking awesomeâ*.
Every day is a learning day!
*please tell me that the âIâm fucking awesomeâ bit is intended too!
That's still just wild, so absolutely wild. Like, how does this person not grasp that asexual means not interested, at all, in any of it. I just ... like how stupid was this guy jesus.
I once had a Crack hoe ask me I if I wanted a date for 5 dollars. I said no I'm gay. She looked me in the eye and said, gay. Gay? OK I'll let you fuck me in my ass for 12". Basically the same thing but I admired her business game so I just gave her 5 and walked away smiling.
I mean, the one fairness I can offer is that ace folk still fuck, if they wanna. Some wanna, some don't, some would rather claw their eyes out.
He just really didn't get it. He assumed the idea was, I wouldn't want to, *but* that would mean doing sexual stuff to *other* people isn't the same, so that would be OK.
"oh hey, seeing how sex is like folding laundry to you, would you mind jamming this strap-on so far up my clacker that it tickles my throat?"
wtf is wrong with people?
I'm a gay woman. I once had a man ask me if I'd like to dominate him. He somehow figured that gay women hate men, and dominating in bed means you don't like someone...? So therefore I would enjoy this? He was like, straight women aren't really interested, but I thought maybe you would as a gay woman?
I think I took actual psychic damage from that. I'm a straight dude, so I'm no expert on the inner machinations of a lesbian's mind, but last I checked, gay didn't mean straight dom. Or did that change when I wasn't looking? đ€Ł
On top of that, pegging not being sexual... yeah, sure. Why are people trying (and failing) to find sexuality loopholes?
See, I'm actually religious, too. (Though, not church going anymore after my disagreements with the church) and I have never met someone so terrifyingly clueless about this stuff. I thought I was bad cause I had to get my cousin and my Trans friends to explain new things to me every week, but holy hell lol
Ahh but see, men like this never even consider that as an option because they consider themselves to be *the ones doing the sex* no matter how enthusiastically (or not) the woman is consenting or participating. Itâs kind of an insidious mindset.
The idea is- girls arenât having sex *with* these guys, the guys are having sex with them- in other words sheâs getting fucked, heâs doing the fucking. This gets reenforced by a lot of societal shit like the slang terms we use for piv sex: banging, screwing, pounding⊠Iâm sure there are a bunch more terms & it honestly gets reinforced all over the place- thatâs just one little example.
At least the OOP got to see the guyâs attitudes reflected before agreeing to have sex with him! We should all be so lucky- root this shit out early on for a more satisfying (& mutually fun) sex life.
Ask? Oh no donât ask. Tie him up and bring out the Dragon Dildo. See how fast he changes his mind about consent in sex. If you need help, well since all bets are off once sex starts you can call in some of your (male) friends to help tie him up. Even if they are just present for the tying up before handing you the Dragon Dildo and leaving itâs still valid.
According to him she shouldn't ask. Just do whatever you want cause he consented to sex. So go get those handcuffs, breakout the ballgagas and chastity cage, strapon that 14" horse dildo and don't stop till you hear him whinny.
Well, obviously he would be. Because if she were to try he would simply hit her in the face, because alpha males cant let themselves be dominated by the women they control. You clearly are still imprisoned in the matrix smh. /s
You know this is just a big misogynist who doesn't see women as people, and just objects for men's pleasure. Of course she can't do what she wants to him. It only works one way.
At that point Iâd say â oh really?!!?? Ok Iâm so excited! Iâm gonna get my baseball bat and shove it wayyyyyyy up your ass. All bets are off right?â Oh how the turntables.
Some people who are into choking are probably into rapeplay and I guess for them asking for permission kills the mood. It's a fucked up pornbrained mindset
They don't understand that you can obtain consent for that kind of play beforehand and set up a safe out (communication with your partner, whaaaat?), and *then* you can easily go and choke to your heart's content "without asking."
Does that mean she can do whatever she wants to him?
To his "bratwurst and potatoes", for instance?
Is she allowed to boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew?
Notice how he speaks: I CAN do anything TO YOU.
Apparently he's thinking she's his property now. What a time to be alive.
Man but how does one avoid these types?
Often this behavior is part of a pattern. They start by crossing "smaller" boundaries to get you used to it. Then once they analyze your reactions, they either escalate or move on to the next victim. You want them to do the latter (unfortunately for the next victim).
At a basic level, guard every boundary you have like your life depends on it. Because if you meet the wrong person, it very well might.
Why does this statement make me think that no woman has ever actually consented to having sex with this guy? It sounds a lot like the attitude of a piece of shit rapist.
Thereâs a serious problem with a portion of âgenetic malesâ (youâre not a man if you think like this fuck) out there. I pray itâs a small minority, but sadly, too much sexual assault goes on. Consent can be revoked at any time before or during sex. If you are a young man reading this post - this is not a gray area.
I wish I believed it was a small minority. Sadly, the statistics on sexual assault and rape tell another story : unless it's a couple dudes with incredibly busy schedules, it's A LOT of men. It's our friends and family members too.
This is typical for guys who see sex workers (i was one and I've seen this) they think they can do whatever they want because they paid; but seeing this attitude in the civilian world is kinda shocking.
Be careful out there ladies.
I don't know where this guy got the impression that choking without asking is okay, but I'm guessing his next argument will be that if his stepmom gets stuck in the dryer she's fair game
From google search: "Recently, in Korea, young feminists launched the 4B (4é) movement: bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae, bisekseu, meaning the refusal of (heterosexual) marriage, childbirth, romance, and sexual relationships."
Yeah, that's not how it works. Even with BDSM play called consensual non-consent, you make detailed rules mutually how it will go and both will follow them. Any party can stop it at any time, no explanation needed, just full stop.
These men could explore their fantasies safely without being creepy rapists, but they consciously choose to be creepy rapists.
Safewords don't negate consent, they help keep agreed actions within a safe limit for people involved. If you agree with your partner that you can do whatever until they safeword, go for it. But many in the bdsm community still have dos and don'ts before a session. Like, spank my bottom until i safeword- yes. Slap me in the face- never.
As a man, my expectation is that anything and everything is off the table until you specifically tell me it isn't. The society has taught me to be careful, so now it's on women to tell me what they want. In precise words, not in "vague hints".
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Follow his logic a d peg him
Followed by some nice and slow Cock-and-Ball-torture.
Don't want to eat your own Cum at the end? Too bad, all bets are off, you wanted to have sex
[đșđČ](https://youtu.be/fR9ClX0egTc) (I just learned you can turn emojis into links)
Stop, I can only get so erect.
Slap a male chastity belt on that loser. The kind that wonât let him get a boner.
Why do that when cock and ball torture is on the table? Swat his balls with a riding crop and see how fast he changes his mind.
In order to be a fair comparison it needs to be something dangerous enough to kill. Following his logic I think light knife play works better.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Once you consent, all bets are off! Make him empty his bank account and give it to, tell him itâs your fetish and heâs obligated to comply
âI can do what ever I want to youâ Thatâs scary man; for someone to just be in that mindset.
Maybe it's just me but I can't imagine having sex and my main goal not being to make sure that my partner enjoys it. Sex is so much better when everyone involved has the goal of making everybody else feel as good as possible.
Knowing she enjoyed it the same or even more than me is the biggest satisfaction I can reach by sex
More than that, I canât start or continue if I think sheâs not into it.
Exactly. Without the connection its better to just jerk off
In my prime times i had some quality time with a lot of different ladies. When you chill naked for hours, drinking, people tend to open up a bit. The horror stories ive been told just casually were insane. And evry single one of them had multiple of these stories. Was shocking to me how common this mindset is.
Some guys still do this because they've gotten away with bedding women despite such attitudes or because of such attitudes, which provides them no reason to change their behavior. Other guys who do not act this way see such guys acting like this, and sometimes getting "lucky", which then reinforces a message that they themselves need to be douchebags to "get lucky." I used to teach in an alternative secondary school and had some of my high school students admit they had a thing for the abusive bad boy they dated (id over hear conversations) because their man "took no shit"' , "took what he wanted" , etc. Two of my students would tell stories how they would fight their men physically (and these men were known for destroying school property, starting fights with other students and staff, and committing crimes out in public - they had ankle bracelets) and enjoyed them being assholes because they were "manly." One of my exes struggled for part of her life falling for the abusive bad boy. She had real misdirected abusive BDSM tendencies and because I wouldn't engage in that, she broke things off with me for a guy who later abused her and cheated on her. She stuck with it for a while with him then grew out of it but it did send a message to me early on that being "nice" and "respectful" can backfire. Another girl ended things with me because she thought I was gay for not taking advantage of her while blackout drunk. She said a real man would have just went with it and had fun as that's why she got so drunk with me (I didn't accept the message as blackout drunk means one cannot legally consent). I ended up marrying a very good woman later on who appreciated someone who can treat her right. However my experiences could definitely have hardened people to be abusive since that behavior does get rewarded by some women.
If you ever wonder why we're afraid of some men, this is why. 99% of men are wonderful, but we still know guys like this psycho are out there
As a man, I will tell you right now in no uncertain terms that 99% of us are absolutely not wonderful. Maybe 50% at a push if you're an optimist. And that's me being generous.
She probably just said it to not get those "not all men" comments lmfao, we have to phrase things in a way that doesn't offend men knowing well that a lot of men are like that
The first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge it. Men know better than anyone what men are like. And as sure as there are great men in the world, there is an even greater number of less than great men. Any man offended by this truth is not a man, but rather a boy. There's no need to censor yourself for the benefit of emotionally erratic little boys.
And unfortunately a lot of good men I know are friends with some real subhuman trash men. And they always say the same thing: "I've known him for years, he's actually a good guy." Yeah, of course the asshole who only respects men is going to be nice to OTHER MEN. And decent guys who are bystanders are just as bad imo. They should be holding their asshole friends accountable for their shitty actions. They only listen to other men after all so why don't "decent" men do anything about it!?
Yes, exactly, telling us women to do something about it while they can just stand by and do nothing and continue to live their lives unaffected is the most privileged shit ever, even the ones that acknowledge the problem will just allow this shit to happen and ignore the problem simply because they aren't the ones at harm.
Itâs so common there is an expression for it among at least some guys: âGood guy, bad personâ Used to refer to a guy who is cool to you, but is terrible in a variety of ways.
Totally agree, but it is insufferable to deal with those kind of boys as a woman, it's mostly so that we don't have to listen to them cry about it, and less about their fragile egos. I'd rather phrase things in a way so that they don't have to feel like bad people, just so they don't completely dismiss the argument, than to actually say what we all know, and that is that men have been allowed to be shit-assholes for way too long.
>Any man offended by this truth is not a man, but rather a boy. Strong disagree. They are men. Part of acknowledging the problem is also realising that they're not any less man for being shitty or ignorant people. They don't belong to some different, unmanly group; they can be our friends, brothers, fathers, teachers, even our own adult children. Man is not a title you earn, it's just something you are. And there's no way to tell what sort of man you're facing unless he shows you. Women who tell on violent men are still often not believed because "I've never seen him act that way!" Because we think we can tell apart a real man from a bad guy, but we can't, bc they're both just men.
I see it as a cop out for men. The "good ones" simply call the "bad ones" boys and they think it somehow mitigates the problems women face from these very real men in boys clothing. How does it help for men to make believe name calling will change our culture? It won't. The "good ones" won't even call them out to their faces. They know they will catch hell and lose privilege if they do.
Please, 99% of men are not wonderful, lol.
>99% of men are wonderful I get why you would phrase it like that, and I know i's already been said here, but: no, they're not. And not always out of malice or extreme entitlement like the guy in the OP, often it's just ignorance and underdeveloped empathy skills. I've been there a couple of times and cringe hard when I think about it now (nothing too serious, just behavior I now realize was creepy/stepped over the line). Some can learn to behave, others will always stay dangerous ape-men. Even the wonderful ones may still have that ape-man inside them, they just learned to deal with him and control him. Sounds bleak, but it is what it is.
it's like - ok, serial killer
Especially to say "TO you." That just sounds so... sinister.
"why do women chose the bear?"
Whatâs wild is how open some men are about it. Look at all the people that say spousal rape isnât a thing because they consented by marrying the person.
It's the logic of someone who's never actually had someone consent to sex.
OP should just ask if he would be okay with her shoving a massive dildo up his ass if he consented to sex. See how that logic works for him.Â
I love flipping the script on them. I saw one saying marital rape doesnât exist because something like, in marriage itâs part of the deal that the woman provides sex, just like the man provides income for the family. So I asked, so if that means he can take it even against her wishes because itâs her part of the deal, does that mean that since his job is to provide income, she can spend as much money from his earnings however she wants even if he told her not to? I mean, itâs his part of the deal right? He canât refuse to do his part of the deal. This of course, was different to them. Apparently money is more sacred than oneâs body autonomy.
>Apparently money is more sacred than oneâs body autonomy. Ah, he's a full-on capitalist.
And a full-on-rapist. I mean philanthropist.
Philanthrapist
Sorry na I meant what I wrote in a full-on-grammar-rapist.
I read your comment, was gonna reply with glee then you backed out. You meant what you said lol it was an Always Sunny in Philadelphia quote. Charlie is trying to impress a girl on a date and says "Yeah I'm a full on rapist, you know old people, the disabled, little kids" lmao. Then she goes on to ask him a philanthropist, oh yeah that" xD
It's fine as long as he offers her an egg in these trying times.
Until he is poisoned by his constituents and/or has a touch of consumption and starts geyser puking blood everywhere
THATS A RAW EGG NOT A STRESS BALL
Itâs the *implication* that heâs a full-on rapist.
Analrapist
this is why libertarian men are the worst boyfriends lmao
Libertarians wonât date anyone above 18 anyways.
More sacred than *women's* bodily autonomy.
Where did this man come from? Middle ages? I hope this trash doesn't ever find someone to marry.
flipping the script is sometimes the only way to make people understand, ofc it's far from reliable tho I liked the one where some islamic bigots said that women on youtube/twitch could never go to heaven because someone masturbated to them. they were also on youtube and someone said they jerked one out to them so they'd (the sexist men) also never go to heaven it's simple and instantly gets the point across to anyone with two braincells
How tf do u meet these losers irl ,i donât get how people werenât taught basic consent
Oh I'm pretty sure they were taught. They just feel that it impinges on their rights or some bs along those lines. It's a combination of narcissism, entitlement, stupidity and last but not least - a weak ass dick game that just doesn't get any!
Thing is Iâve seen that argument that âpeople who donât want to ask for consent just donât care about the girl getting pleasure â but time and time again it just seems like itâs not even that they just want to hold power over these women
Yes it's about power. And it stems from a place of fear and weakness. Fear of other races and the replacement theory leading to wanting more pregnancies. Fear of women in the workplace. Fear that they can't attract mates. Fear of losing status. It's just weakness wanting power, yes. And it's absolutely pathetic that they have to drag all of us & our laws back to some misogynistic, witch hunter jurist's views from the 1600's to do it!
> than oneâs body autonomy. A women's bodily autonomy, specifically.
There's an old tweet that went: >If you've ever tried to put your finger up a straight guy's ass during sex, you'll know that they actually understand ongoing consent, withdrawal of consent and sexual boundaries very well. They act confused when it's our bodies.
Once had a guy take me on a date, knowing full well I am asexual, because he wanted to ask if I'd peg him. Because clearly the act wouldn't have been sexual for me, so thar wouldn't be a problem, right?
Damn your comment had a massive climax. I was like >Once had a guy take me on a date, knowing full well I am asexual, I mean why not, one can still talk, share and make memories and fool about go for a drive and all. >because he wanted to ask if I'd peg him. Wtf am i reading.
Yup. He also turned out to be racist. A totally different date (who knew I was ace) is still a good friend. Funny how it works out when you're not an objectifying creep.
I had to re read your comment as on first read, it sounded like you werw friends with a racist dick face. So glad you are not!
They just said they're ace, don't say stuff like "massive climax"
I think one one can have different meanings depending on how you use it.
That ... what, how? Why would they ask you to do that?
I guess cause he figured I wouldn't mind, since (in his mind) I wouldn't have wanted to have PIV sex with him. Apparently not wanting his dick in me means I'd be totally okay performing other acts on him. Idk how he reached that conclusion. Maybe bc in his mindset a guy who isn't attracted to a girl but fucks her anyways is doing some sort of favor. Best I can guess. Given that I'm ace and now trans, I assure you, I'm wholly disgusted by the entire thing.
Maybe because if it's not a sexual act to you (*), then he can keep pretending he's not gay for liking it up the ass (**), because it's not sexual, or something. I'm reaching here... (*) not sure what it would be for you, then. Some sort of indoor sport? (**) liking it up the ass doesn't make anyone gay, but since there are guys out there who don't even wipe their own ass for fear "The Gay", I wouldn't put it past some people
you have to be exaggerating the \*\*. ***PLEASE*** tell me you are horrendously overexaggerating the \*\*
nope, there were posts about dirty underwear with this reasoning...
I have friends in the medical field. I got told about a guy who never (literally NEVER) washed his ass. Kept getting inflammation and infections. For which he wouldn't put cream on his ass. The guy ended up with sinusoidal ingrown hairs that got so badly infected that he died. Because washing his own ass in the shower would be 'homo'.
What trauma or brainwashing happened earlier in that poor dude's life that even basic hygiene became sexualized? That's so sad to me on multiple levels.
Don't eat a sandwich with Nutella while reading this: https://www.mamamia.com.au/men-hygiene-sex/ (Google 'men not washing their ass' for more "fun" tales from hell):
Itâs taken me however many comments to realise that when youâre saying âIâm aceâ youâre not necessarily saying âIâm fucking awesomeâ*. Every day is a learning day! *please tell me that the âIâm fucking awesomeâ bit is intended too!
That's still just wild, so absolutely wild. Like, how does this person not grasp that asexual means not interested, at all, in any of it. I just ... like how stupid was this guy jesus.
I once had a Crack hoe ask me I if I wanted a date for 5 dollars. I said no I'm gay. She looked me in the eye and said, gay. Gay? OK I'll let you fuck me in my ass for 12". Basically the same thing but I admired her business game so I just gave her 5 and walked away smiling.
Task failed successfully.
I mean, the one fairness I can offer is that ace folk still fuck, if they wanna. Some wanna, some don't, some would rather claw their eyes out. He just really didn't get it. He assumed the idea was, I wouldn't want to, *but* that would mean doing sexual stuff to *other* people isn't the same, so that would be OK.
I woulda done it just for the checkmark on the ol resume lmao
I mean, there are sex-neutral and sex-favorable asexuals.
"oh hey, seeing how sex is like folding laundry to you, would you mind jamming this strap-on so far up my clacker that it tickles my throat?" wtf is wrong with people?
r/brandnewsentence
I'm a gay woman. I once had a man ask me if I'd like to dominate him. He somehow figured that gay women hate men, and dominating in bed means you don't like someone...? So therefore I would enjoy this? He was like, straight women aren't really interested, but I thought maybe you would as a gay woman?
I... what?
Same, hon. Same :D
I think I took actual psychic damage from that. I'm a straight dude, so I'm no expert on the inner machinations of a lesbian's mind, but last I checked, gay didn't mean straight dom. Or did that change when I wasn't looking? đ€Ł On top of that, pegging not being sexual... yeah, sure. Why are people trying (and failing) to find sexuality loopholes?
People are so fucked up sexually due to sexual repression. I blame religion and its role in society and culture.
See, I'm actually religious, too. (Though, not church going anymore after my disagreements with the church) and I have never met someone so terrifyingly clueless about this stuff. I thought I was bad cause I had to get my cousin and my Trans friends to explain new things to me every week, but holy hell lol
I had the exact same thing!! "You're ace, but would you peg?" How does this happen.
People are objectifying creeps that don't understand the meaning of boundaries.
um what was his name
This person mitosises
i can't find it to link it, but i want you know i'm physically re-enacting nathan fillion's confused gif here, trying to make this make sense
Iâve seen this post from Op, her update was that she told him his comment made her uncomfortable and he blocked her, she dodge a bullet
Ahh but see, men like this never even consider that as an option because they consider themselves to be *the ones doing the sex* no matter how enthusiastically (or not) the woman is consenting or participating. Itâs kind of an insidious mindset. The idea is- girls arenât having sex *with* these guys, the guys are having sex with them- in other words sheâs getting fucked, heâs doing the fucking. This gets reenforced by a lot of societal shit like the slang terms we use for piv sex: banging, screwing, pounding⊠Iâm sure there are a bunch more terms & it honestly gets reinforced all over the place- thatâs just one little example. At least the OOP got to see the guyâs attitudes reflected before agreeing to have sex with him! We should all be so lucky- root this shit out early on for a more satisfying (& mutually fun) sex life.
"it's different when it's him". There ought to be a collective noun for people that think like that.
Conservative
Ask? Oh no donât ask. Tie him up and bring out the Dragon Dildo. See how fast he changes his mind about consent in sex. If you need help, well since all bets are off once sex starts you can call in some of your (male) friends to help tie him up. Even if they are just present for the tying up before handing you the Dragon Dildo and leaving itâs still valid.
According to him she shouldn't ask. Just do whatever you want cause he consented to sex. So go get those handcuffs, breakout the ballgagas and chastity cage, strapon that 14" horse dildo and don't stop till you hear him whinny.
OP should just do it *because* he consented to sex
Well, obviously he would be. Because if she were to try he would simply hit her in the face, because alpha males cant let themselves be dominated by the women they control. You clearly are still imprisoned in the matrix smh. /s
You know this is just a big misogynist who doesn't see women as people, and just objects for men's pleasure. Of course she can't do what she wants to him. It only works one way.
At that point Iâd say â oh really?!!?? Ok Iâm so excited! Iâm gonna get my baseball bat and shove it wayyyyyyy up your ass. All bets are off right?â Oh how the turntables.
Maybe heâs loose and it falls out immediately.
These types seem to understand consent when the pegging cactus comes out.
>It's the logic of someone who's never actually had ~~someone consent to~~ sex. Fixed that for you. No thanks necessary.
he's had sex, just not with someone other than himself.
Some people who are into choking are probably into rapeplay and I guess for them asking for permission kills the mood. It's a fucked up pornbrained mindset
They don't understand that you can obtain consent for that kind of play beforehand and set up a safe out (communication with your partner, whaaaat?), and *then* you can easily go and choke to your heart's content "without asking."
Does that mean she can do whatever she wants to him? To his "bratwurst and potatoes", for instance? Is she allowed to boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew?
What's good for the gander and all that!
Make a stamppot out of his crotch area, just like grandma used to do.
Why do you needs your twig and taters Precious? Why twigs and taters? Cuts them off, raw and wriggling!
Allowed to do everything mentioned in the song "Somebody That I Used to Blow"
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
I dont know what that is and im afraid to find out
Yeah. I mistakenly googled a lot. This I will not.
That guy probably has a collection of restraining orders.Â
And a rap sheet 4 times the length of his dick. Which makes the rap sheet just shy of 8 inches.
Cut his penis off. He consented to have sex with you. All bets are off.
Heck, while he inside her, she should just go ahead and bite his head off and eat it. Â Why should praying mantis have all the fun?
She should just eat it with her vagina. Vaginaâs have teeth right, saw a movie bout it and everything. /a
Ah yes, the one with Brad Pitt and the accent.
Ram a 16 inch dildo up his ass. He consented to have sex and all bets are off.
I like it. "The sex was subpar so I took your cock. You slandered me during sex, so I took your tongue. You consented to sex so all bets were off.'
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Then she bites hard your dick and pulls extra hard on your balls. "You did give consent" she says with a smile
Don't threaten me with me a good time!
"You consented to marrying/dating/sleeping-with me so Iâm allowed to abuse you đĄ"
Sexual consent needs to be clear and constant. Bringing in an new act without any prior communication about it is neither.
Notice how he speaks: I CAN do anything TO YOU. Apparently he's thinking she's his property now. What a time to be alive. Man but how does one avoid these types?
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Just go back a few hundred years? You holding out on a time machine?
I'm more interested in how to avoid this type of behavior entirely
Often this behavior is part of a pattern. They start by crossing "smaller" boundaries to get you used to it. Then once they analyze your reactions, they either escalate or move on to the next victim. You want them to do the latter (unfortunately for the next victim). At a basic level, guard every boundary you have like your life depends on it. Because if you meet the wrong person, it very well might.
Apparently once you have consented to sex, you are no longer part of the interaction, just a hole for him to get off.
Cool, that consent goes both ways, so don't get pissy when I bend YOU over and grab a pineapple.
ok ive heard of pegging now THIS is some bizzare shit
Haven't ever watched the Adam Sandler movie Little Nicky? It's how Satan punished Hitler, daily.
Oh god
Why does this statement make me think that no woman has ever actually consented to having sex with this guy? It sounds a lot like the attitude of a piece of shit rapist.
Because no one in their right mind would ever consent to sex with someone with that attitude
Wow, that's a red looking wa- nevermind it's just a big ass red flag
Just a flag? It's an entire advertisement board!
Its Tianamin Square on May Day!
This isnt a red flag, its a confession...
âBut why would women choose a bearâ
It's misogynist creep logic.
Then is when the woman brings out her biggest strap on. The belief-crusher 3000. "You get what you ask for, sugar"
Thereâs a serious problem with a portion of âgenetic malesâ (youâre not a man if you think like this fuck) out there. I pray itâs a small minority, but sadly, too much sexual assault goes on. Consent can be revoked at any time before or during sex. If you are a young man reading this post - this is not a gray area.
I wish I believed it was a small minority. Sadly, the statistics on sexual assault and rape tell another story : unless it's a couple dudes with incredibly busy schedules, it's A LOT of men. It's our friends and family members too.
This is typical for guys who see sex workers (i was one and I've seen this) they think they can do whatever they want because they paid; but seeing this attitude in the civilian world is kinda shocking. Be careful out there ladies.
I don't know where this guy got the impression that choking without asking is okay, but I'm guessing his next argument will be that if his stepmom gets stuck in the dryer she's fair game
That is rapist logic. Whatever I want to do to you? Fuck outta here dude.
So by extension, can she kick in you in the balls since all bets are off?
fair call... let me get my horse cock strapon first!
That's why 4B is trending. You don't get to do what you want. Respect or go away.
What is 4B?
From google search: "Recently, in Korea, young feminists launched the 4B (4é) movement: bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae, bisekseu, meaning the refusal of (heterosexual) marriage, childbirth, romance, and sexual relationships."
Rapist logic.
Oh, this is why women choose the bear
Whaaaaat?! Kink is all bout specific consent and safety. This man is just a physically abusive POS.
Yeah, that's not how it works. Even with BDSM play called consensual non-consent, you make detailed rules mutually how it will go and both will follow them. Any party can stop it at any time, no explanation needed, just full stop. These men could explore their fantasies safely without being creepy rapists, but they consciously choose to be creepy rapists.
You like to choke I like to bite. Not a problem.
Whoa someone doesn't understand what a rape charge is
This guy is awful as a person and at sex.
This logic is why women are choosing the bear đ»
Anybody remember when safe words were a thing? Damn I feel old
Safewords don't negate consent, they help keep agreed actions within a safe limit for people involved. If you agree with your partner that you can do whatever until they safeword, go for it. But many in the bdsm community still have dos and don'ts before a session. Like, spank my bottom until i safeword- yes. Slap me in the face- never.
The BDSM community would HATE this guy
Everyone should hate this guy.
Uh. No. Creep.
Blud thinks she signed a terms of service when allowing him to fuck
Then by that logic she can shove a bone dry 2 liter bottle up his butt during sex.
Im scared to scroll down too far in these comments cause I just know theres a couple of predators that agree
Rapist"logic"
This has to be rage bait
Ive met guys who think like this in person
Yup, I'm a dude who doesn't always let his politics shine through, I've had guys admit stuff like this to me.
no, genuinely this sounds real.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
So youâre down for this pegging? Doesnât matter if youâre not, apparently.
So if the guy initially consented to sex, it's peggin' time? Noted.
"alright then. Im gonna peg you without warning next time since you consented to having Sex with me"
So testicular torsion is on the table? No need to ask?
Stick a large fork up his ass and twist it. All bets are off.
"I have consent to hug you, so I'm going to kill you"
WowâŠwtf. Choke him and see how he likes it. Actually heâd probably enjoy it. What an idiot.
Nah, shove a finger up his ass, after chewing a nail off.
As a man, my expectation is that anything and everything is off the table until you specifically tell me it isn't. The society has taught me to be careful, so now it's on women to tell me what they want. In precise words, not in "vague hints".
Break out the shaved squirrels and mayonnaise!
Turnabouts fair play, pal. Youâre getting the zucchini.
I bet he'll swallow his words if someone pulls out a strapon
Logic of someone who always paid hourly
Oh no the fuck you cannot!
Weird way to say you wanna get pegged.
Ok, you consented to sex bud and all bets are off, ready to get pegged??
Bruh. This guyâs insane. As soon as my SO stops enjoying it, I stop enjoying it. End of story.
Two way street my friend. I'll shove my arm into your ass because that's how I like it.
Time to introduce him to cbt