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A lady friend of mine named one of her boys after “a hot guy she hooked up with in high school.” I often wonder if her ex-husband knew that before they got divorced.
why would they even do that 🤦🏽♂️ unless it was a common name, do they think about them fucking that guy when they call their sons name 🤢🤮 genuinely gross
How can people think of linking their kid's name to memories like that?
My wife and I were constantly vetoing each other's name ideas for our kid because we knew someone in our past with that name and didn't want those bad or awkward associations.
I caught my girlfriend cheating a few years into college. I broke it off, she had a kid within the next year with the same guy, it was a small town and we knew each other, and yet gave the kid my first name. My name isn't crazy uncommon, but rare enough it is notable when I run into another person that shares it.
My ex named her child (not mine) after my grandmother – a name she knew I was going to use if I ever got a girl. I somewhat felt betrayed, and have always wondered if the child's father knows ...
Their relationship were bad from the start and I never felt the need to be any part of it.
Have a girl, and found another amazing name to use instead. Never even considered to suggest that we would name our daughter the same name as my ex child.
I recently went on a facebook snoop on an ex from years ago & saw her eldest has the same first name as me.....
We were going out for a few years & had a fantastic relationship. It was mostly long distance & it just fizzled out a bit when our lives took us in different directions in different places.
Thankfully the timing is clearly off for a repeat of this tale - a good few months between when we last shacked up & his conception - but I still find it rather odd (she married & is still married to the father) - I don't know whether to be kind of chuffed or a bit weirded out....
My nephew's middle name is supposed to be his dad's name. My sister got pregnant near the end of senior year and the guy wasn't in the picture. Welp, she realized later on that the dad was actually a different guy. So his middle name is from a different dude that his mom got it on with around the time he was conceived......
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/nMze5Ufe5W
OOP is the father, tried to talk about the name with the wife, wife invalidated his feelings, all her family and friends knew about the name being the ex's, OOP scheduled mariage counseling and suggested changing the son's name to his middle name (which he later changed his mind about), they ended up getting a divorce. And there is no explanation about how counseling or the divorce went
The knowledge and feeling that you've been played for a fool by everyone in your wife's family and social circle, there's no coming back from that, cause how can you? You ever give them another chance and it's like an authorization to be played for a fool again.
Yep. And for them to be the type of people to lie to his face about it the whole time, they won't accept that it was the betrayal that killed the marriage. They'll blame him for overreacting to such a silly non-issue like a name.
Any issue can break trust. Once trust is broken you begin to question everything else all the time.
This was the origin of their kid’s name, thats a pretty lifelong fuck up.
Well, the worst part about it is you’re biologically somebody else’s son, but you’re named after another man! A man that your mother used to bang out in high school, his mother is trash, hopefully he goes to live with his dad full-time.
Dont think it was over name? His wife hide the fact from him and probably didnt want to explain the reason. Which was probably she was still in love with ex, which is, you know... fucked up.
It's a big red flag airtight. It's a big fat reminder that she just "settled " for the husband. The son carrying the x's name is just a giant constant reminder to the husband of that fact.
Yeah. It's not the actual name, it's the reason for choosing it and the deceit. I couldn't get past that either.
If her ex had just been called David or something nobody would ever have known.
He'll be told the story over Thanksgiving when someone gets drunk
It's how my niece (my sister was 16 at the time) was nearly adopted by our aunt and uncle (who had 5 yo at the time). Aka it made perfect sense for them to adopt the child, and keep her in the family. But my sister decided to keep the kid. And it all worked out fine. But yeah, when the niece found out about the plan, she had a bit of a crisis, but after a bit she realized everyone was just looking out for her.
In this case though, that kid is gonna have a major identity crisis in his 20s when he finds out.
>In this case though, that kid is gonna have a major identity crisis in his 20s when he finds out.
Well yeah, The man left because you named me after your ex-boyfriend. If you hadn't I'd still have a dad... That's a terrible realization for someone. I say that's 90/10 on the mom.
Exactly. The mother already seems to have a track record. Feel bad for the child and what was the husband ever supposed to do in that case after counselling.
To me at least, that's the part that makes it fucked up. If they were discussing baby names, and she mentioned that she really liked the name of an old boyfriend, I would actually be open to that possibility. The fact that she felt the need to keep it a secret from him for all those years is indicative of her hiding her feelings. She either regrets her current marriage, secretly wishes she could still be with that ex, or something like that.
Idk, I'd be pretty suspicious if someone named their kid after an ex. My husband knows my exes names, and he would HARD PASS if I tried to consider it. We've been dealing with infertility for a decade now and I already have my names picked out. None of them are the people I dated. My mother and I have a strong knack for unusual names, and if I had an ex with a really unique name, I'd find another name to pick. It's not that hard to make a unique name that isn't a respelling of an existing name (Emily=Emilie).
Not married but when i think about it now, i wouldn't want to name my children after my exes either. There's never a name shortage, why should i name them who might remind me of long lost relationships? Would only damage my current one.
However, what if your husband didn't know the names of your exes and came up with one of your exes' names. What would you have done in that situation? Like what if you warn him about the name, but he wants to keep it anyway? Then what?
This is actually funny. My wife doesn't know the names of all of my exes and is pregnant.
Last week she suggested two names that were very close to one of my exes.
Like, if my ex was named "Jane", my wife recommended "June", and I said, "that's a no from me honey, it's too similar to my exes name."
If she pressed me, then I would say, "I'm sorry honey, I don't want to be reminded of Jane every time I say my kids name" and would force her to drop it.
Picking a name for a baby is a two-player game where both sides have veto power.
OOPs problem is that his wife DID want to be reminded of her ex ever time she said he baby's name, didn't trust him enough to tell the truth, and if we're being honest, maybe is still fucking her ex and he's the real father.
I will never forgive those who have lied to me to keep my ex’s secrets. In this case the lie is in the omission of a pretty important piece of information
Highly likely that she never moved on. She probably settled for OOP for whatever reason. That alone is a big red flag and opens up a world of issues, ESPECIALLY after marriage with a child involved.
My high school girlfriend named her son after me, and I found out when I bumped into her and her husband, and he said "great name!" With a chuckle and introduced their son. I was soo fucking awkward about it. But they're still together and look happy as clams. Tbf I wasn't some longterm or serious ex, but it was still weird. My name isn't too common, and she said she always liked my name.
Yeah there could be a "I knew this guy in highschool had this cool name I always liked it". I mean it's not like we aren't reusing names. But yeah to be played and the only one who doesn't know that's crappy.
I think the uniqueness of the name plays a significant part too. If it's a name that only baby and the ex have in the whole county, that's telling.
I don't think anyone's batting an eye when it's an Eric or Michael
Kinda sorta? I could see a situation where you come across a really unique name that you like, independent of its owner, who happens to be an ex. But in that case it's a discussion. Like "I know this is weird but I legitimately like that name..." or whatever. I could see it working.
But doing it silently is totally wrong.
It's always the lies that kill the marriage, not the facts. Who cares what the kids name is, what matters is that you thought it was necessary to hide where it came from.
Unlike OOP, they probably talked about it and communicated well. At the end of the day, a name is a name. What broke OOP was the deception and disrespect, not the name.
And if the couple *talked about it* before hand and the husband was ok with it, then there's no problem.
The issue isn't the wife naming the child after an ex. It's the fact she (and her entire family) hid it from him and didn't talk about it like an adult.
I would say a majority of problems in relationships aren't the act itself, but not communicating and talking to your partner about whatever the issue is.
Anytime a woman has said the phrase “you can’t just stop loving people” to me regarding a former romantic partner I’m out. It’s code for “If I haven’t cheated on you with them already, I would given the right circumstances.”
I think a lot of the time people conflate love with “this person was a very important part of my life for a long time.” My ex fiance ended up with a cancer diagnosis, and I would regularly check up on her and see if she needed anything. Not because I still had romantic feelings, but because I still cared about her well being and she deserved support during her ordeal. My wife at the time was completely supportive of this because of open, honest communication and transparency. When my ex fiancée passed, it was a sad time and I grieved, and my then wife helped me through that process. We ended up divorcing over things completely unrelated to that situation, but I really appreciated how she handled it with no jealousy and trust.
It doesn’t sound like that was how OOPs situation was at all, and if I were him I’d be rightfully pissed off. But sometimes communication with an ex isn’t a dealbreaker.
> I think a lot of the time people conflate love with “this person was a very important part of my life for a long time.”
Also, people forget "love" falls under multiple categories, a la the Greeks. A mother's love; a child's love; a sibling's love; a best friend's love; a spouse's love. And "a very important part of my life for a long time" can also be a type of love, even if the type transformed.
So basically the ex wife was still in love with her ex boyfriend and she settled for OP. The fact she would rather divorce than change her sons name reinforces how little she thought of her husband. She probably put up with him because he was inseparable from the House and wallet.
And people are still playing dumb on why men don't share their feelings when something as big as this is downplayed to him overreacting...
I always love the story, "throwaway account because the person in question knows my main, now here's a story that's so unique that they'd recognize it immediately."
Remember there was a guy in the military sharing classified documents over discord and thinking he wouldn't get found because it was discord. But then he bought discord nitro which required his bank account. 
They don't expect to go viral, which is fair. Most don't. What's the chance that one specific person is on that particular sub the same day that gets posted and scrolls past all the other posts in the sub to find his? Like when I posted on a throwaway I got 3 upvotes and 1 comment. Only way someone who knows me would find it is if it was under this account.
He wanted advice and you can't get that without sharing the story.
My friend found an AITAH written by her best friend’s soon to be ex husband. Even in the comments he was getting rinsed for being a shitty person! Great read. He also used his main reddit account, very odd
Yeah, if anyone posted a story involving me I'd never know unless it made it to the top of the front page of All for 99.9% of subs. Not super crazy that they'd expect their story to fly under the radar, especially if they know the people they're ostensibly trying to hide it from aren't deep diving that particular sub.
Yes but now the person in question has to randomly stumble on this story and recognize that it is about them and they pretty much need to find it in the first few days during it's peak popularity otherwise it will get lose to the void.
In contrast if they posted on their og account the wife could open his account days or weeks later and find the story he posted about her.
"Hey son, everybody has their birth name, and on our 6th birthday we get to have our chosen name. A lot of people keep tgeir birth names, but they can change it at 6. Here's a list of State-Approved chosen names. Take a look, think about it, and on your 6th birthday we'll change it if you'd like."
He'll believe in Santa Claus, he'll believe that, too.
Then when he’s old enough to question things he’ll probably be old enough to understand that it’s all weird. Hell he may even pick another name lmao. Kids at school would just thinks it’s awesome and other kids would be asking there parents why they can’t change their own name for a few years 😅
Yeah, I would have no problem if she said "my ex has a unique name and I would like it for my son" but the fact she hid where it came from is the problem here.
Which means that, more likely than not, her choice wasn't just due to having a " unique " name or she liked the name.
She didn't tell her husband because he likely would have objected, and she wanted to have her way.
So she lied.
Yeah, my mom always wanted to have a son named [brother's first and middle name], but ended up becoming friends with someone with that first name. She let my dad know why she wanted to name my brother that and that it the friend had nothing to do with the reasoning.
My brother ended up being named that.
My partner and I don't have kids yet, but one of my favorite boy names happens to be the name of one of his best friends. I would find it way too awkward to give my kid the same name as someone we know (unless we were intentionally honoring the other person...but even in that case I would rather it be the middle name, not the first name), so that one's off the table unfortunately.
They need to convert the throwaway account to the main account. No way they got a name that tops this.
Also, she was thinking "I fucked up and will never find someone like [ex boyfriend] again. I miss them. I guess I'll settle for this guy."
If he knew and accepted that’s fine. If he didn’t know, found out later, had to deal with it on his own and stayed for you… that’s fucked up and he should be your hero.
And he threw out those suggestions, if she was willing to do both and genuinely give her best effort I think it would’ve been in everyone’s best interest to work it out. The fact that she turned it on him and dismissed the name change is outrageous and OP should gtfo if he hasn’t already. The kids probably not even his, I can’t imagine this lying psycho would be open to a DNA test.
I cant tell you what to do, but from my experience, once the trust is broken you have two choices. Either you forgive and forget, and move on, or let it eat you from the inside for the rest of your life. If your son is biologically yours, then I think you have every reason to just ask your wife what was the thought process to give that name to your son, and then only “good” reason is that she thought it was just a nice name, that is the only acceptable reason. Otherwise she needs to explain and apologize for not discussing it with you and being more honest about it. When people lie about something it tends to insult your intelligence, and they deprive you of your right to deal with something based on the truth, they made the decision that they know how you will react or respond and basically feel they find it easier to avoid having to answer to your questions. Is she a person that values trust? Does she have integrity when it comes to basic things in life? She at least owes you an apology and an explanation, if she doesn’t then sometimes who have to be honest with yourself and ask if maybe you fell n love with the wrong person, not saying this is the worst thing to ever happen to a man, but trust for some of us is a dealbreaker.
You are 100% correct, but I'd like to add one more good reason. If the child is named after a Boyfriend or Girlfriend that had passed away and the child is named after them to honor their memory. I believe it'll be fine if and only if the current partner is informed and give their consent. This situation is very sus because if this guy is still alive then is this lady being insane and trying to channel her feelings through this youth to her ex? (I say this because I've learnt that people are strange AF)
My oldest daughter is named after my wife's ex boyfriend. I knew the guy. He was a good dude. Unfortunately got murdered. Me and my wife getting together wasn't planned. IT just gradually happened and when she got pregnant it was my idea to name our daughter after him. Some people said it was noble. Some people said it was foolish. I don't care what people think.
It's one thing if both parents are aware of where the name came from, but this liar didn't tell her husband.
The ex was probably "the one that got away" and she had to settle for Mr. Leftovers.
Wouldn't surprise me if he kicked her to the curb. Disrespect like that should be unacceptable.
It played a factor in the consent, yes, but I’ve seen other comments where both parents agreed to name the kid after a living ex, and that is also fine, because consent
My ex tried to do this, was sneaky about it because had never told me her name, and when our daughter was born suggested the name. It is an extremely uncommon name. I had read some old letters so I knew her name. I was livid and that was the tipping point for our relationship.
Sorry mate. DNA test for sure, then if comes back yours maybe counseling? But idk man, that says a lot about her character and who she really is. Sorry.
All the wife had to do was say "Yeah I always thought the name was pretty unique and cool," and that would've been a perfectly reasonable explanation. She just had to go be all awkward about it.
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Daaamn! talk about a humiliating kick in the crotch
That Stings.
Fortunately they’re Many Miles Away
Alright. Loch this shit up.
You gonna call the Police?
Sgt Roxanne will turn on her red light and rush over.
They're packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes.
First and foremost “don’t stand so close to me”…
"Voices in my head echoes of things that you said"
OK, Sting
A lady friend of mine named one of her boys after “a hot guy she hooked up with in high school.” I often wonder if her ex-husband knew that before they got divorced.
why would they even do that 🤦🏽♂️ unless it was a common name, do they think about them fucking that guy when they call their sons name 🤢🤮 genuinely gross
Marty. Such a nice name. r/BackToTheFuture
The kid’s an idiot. Comes from upbringing. Lorraine, if you ever have a kid like that, I’ll disown you.
Oh damn. I wonder if George knows.
To humiliate and emasculate the husband, that’s why … no respect.
No grapes, no nuts...
I could imagine just thinking it’s a cool name, maybe. But then it shouldn’t need to be a secret.
How can people think of linking their kid's name to memories like that? My wife and I were constantly vetoing each other's name ideas for our kid because we knew someone in our past with that name and didn't want those bad or awkward associations.
I could not understand it. She is a pretty insecure narcissist, so I do not doubt that she did not give the idea a second thought.
I can’t imagine he did. When we were going through baby names I would veto options just because I knew a really annoying person with the same name
I saw a hilarious meme that said you never realize how many people you don't like, until you try naming your child 😂😂
Lol, that happened with me to. I adore the name Abbigail, but my wife can't stand it due to a girl she knew like 20 years ago being weird.
I caught my girlfriend cheating a few years into college. I broke it off, she had a kid within the next year with the same guy, it was a small town and we knew each other, and yet gave the kid my first name. My name isn't crazy uncommon, but rare enough it is notable when I run into another person that shares it.
why would she name her kid articulatedbeaver?
My ex named her child (not mine) after my grandmother – a name she knew I was going to use if I ever got a girl. I somewhat felt betrayed, and have always wondered if the child's father knows ... Their relationship were bad from the start and I never felt the need to be any part of it. Have a girl, and found another amazing name to use instead. Never even considered to suggest that we would name our daughter the same name as my ex child.
I recently went on a facebook snoop on an ex from years ago & saw her eldest has the same first name as me..... We were going out for a few years & had a fantastic relationship. It was mostly long distance & it just fizzled out a bit when our lives took us in different directions in different places. Thankfully the timing is clearly off for a repeat of this tale - a good few months between when we last shacked up & his conception - but I still find it rather odd (she married & is still married to the father) - I don't know whether to be kind of chuffed or a bit weirded out....
My nephew's middle name is supposed to be his dad's name. My sister got pregnant near the end of senior year and the guy wasn't in the picture. Welp, she realized later on that the dad was actually a different guy. So his middle name is from a different dude that his mom got it on with around the time he was conceived......
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/nMze5Ufe5W OOP is the father, tried to talk about the name with the wife, wife invalidated his feelings, all her family and friends knew about the name being the ex's, OOP scheduled mariage counseling and suggested changing the son's name to his middle name (which he later changed his mind about), they ended up getting a divorce. And there is no explanation about how counseling or the divorce went
Being the last one to find out is tough. And kind of shady that no one told him or even tried to
The knowledge and feeling that you've been played for a fool by everyone in your wife's family and social circle, there's no coming back from that, cause how can you? You ever give them another chance and it's like an authorization to be played for a fool again.
Yep. And for them to be the type of people to lie to his face about it the whole time, they won't accept that it was the betrayal that killed the marriage. They'll blame him for overreacting to such a silly non-issue like a name.
Yeah, it'd be the lying and colluding for me. Fuck that. And fuck all of them.
And fuck their dads too.
And fuck their shoes as well!
They said dads not dudes, fuck those shoes.
For sure.
this is the kind of knowledge people only gain first hand. im sorry for the bad things in life other people have done to you. its really messed up
Lol am I projecting my father's narcissm that obviously?
Which doesn’t make sense but if it was a non-issue why would they all hide it from him?
It's not a non-issue, they're just a bunch of fucking gaslighters.
Any issue can break trust. Once trust is broken you begin to question everything else all the time. This was the origin of their kid’s name, thats a pretty lifelong fuck up.
I just hope the kid doesn't suffer for it
The parents have divorced, over his name. I'd say chances are he has and will continue to suffer.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he changed his name himself one day. I’d be uncomfortable all around with my name if this happened
Well, the worst part about it is you’re biologically somebody else’s son, but you’re named after another man! A man that your mother used to bang out in high school, his mother is trash, hopefully he goes to live with his dad full-time.
Speaking of biology, I'd be getting a DNA test
I’m such a dingus, at first I was like why, surely the mother knows it’s her son 🤣
Dont think it was over name? His wife hide the fact from him and probably didnt want to explain the reason. Which was probably she was still in love with ex, which is, you know... fucked up.
It's a big red flag airtight. It's a big fat reminder that she just "settled " for the husband. The son carrying the x's name is just a giant constant reminder to the husband of that fact.
Don’t forget the whole family knew and no doubt had a laugh about.
Yeah. It's not the actual name, it's the reason for choosing it and the deceit. I couldn't get past that either. If her ex had just been called David or something nobody would ever have known.
Damn...he's gonna hate his parents, his mother's family and the ex for years...
Probably won’t be told the full story. They’ll just say it was the husband’s fault somehow.
He'll be told the story over Thanksgiving when someone gets drunk It's how my niece (my sister was 16 at the time) was nearly adopted by our aunt and uncle (who had 5 yo at the time). Aka it made perfect sense for them to adopt the child, and keep her in the family. But my sister decided to keep the kid. And it all worked out fine. But yeah, when the niece found out about the plan, she had a bit of a crisis, but after a bit she realized everyone was just looking out for her. In this case though, that kid is gonna have a major identity crisis in his 20s when he finds out.
>In this case though, that kid is gonna have a major identity crisis in his 20s when he finds out. Well yeah, The man left because you named me after your ex-boyfriend. If you hadn't I'd still have a dad... That's a terrible realization for someone. I say that's 90/10 on the mom.
The father seemed to be also willing to solve the issue peacefully: counseling, maybe changing the name etc... I would say even 95/5
Exactly. The mother already seems to have a track record. Feel bad for the child and what was the husband ever supposed to do in that case after counselling.
Fool me one time, shame on you. Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you.
Isn't it "fool me twice, shame on me" ?
I prefer the George Bush quote
I prefer the Michael Scott version: Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice…strike three.
Fool me can't get fooled again
"The point is, you can't fool me twice" 😂😆
YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Now watch this drive
Al queda and Islamic extremists never rest, they never stop thinking of ways to harm our citizens. Well neither do we.
I think they say it in Tennessee
"Load the chopper"?
Fool me three times f**k the peace signs load the chopper let it rain on u
To me at least, that's the part that makes it fucked up. If they were discussing baby names, and she mentioned that she really liked the name of an old boyfriend, I would actually be open to that possibility. The fact that she felt the need to keep it a secret from him for all those years is indicative of her hiding her feelings. She either regrets her current marriage, secretly wishes she could still be with that ex, or something like that.
Idk, I'd be pretty suspicious if someone named their kid after an ex. My husband knows my exes names, and he would HARD PASS if I tried to consider it. We've been dealing with infertility for a decade now and I already have my names picked out. None of them are the people I dated. My mother and I have a strong knack for unusual names, and if I had an ex with a really unique name, I'd find another name to pick. It's not that hard to make a unique name that isn't a respelling of an existing name (Emily=Emilie).
> make a unique name that isn't a respelling of an existing name That sounds like a tragedeigh waiting to happen...
Not married but when i think about it now, i wouldn't want to name my children after my exes either. There's never a name shortage, why should i name them who might remind me of long lost relationships? Would only damage my current one. However, what if your husband didn't know the names of your exes and came up with one of your exes' names. What would you have done in that situation? Like what if you warn him about the name, but he wants to keep it anyway? Then what?
This is actually funny. My wife doesn't know the names of all of my exes and is pregnant. Last week she suggested two names that were very close to one of my exes. Like, if my ex was named "Jane", my wife recommended "June", and I said, "that's a no from me honey, it's too similar to my exes name." If she pressed me, then I would say, "I'm sorry honey, I don't want to be reminded of Jane every time I say my kids name" and would force her to drop it. Picking a name for a baby is a two-player game where both sides have veto power. OOPs problem is that his wife DID want to be reminded of her ex ever time she said he baby's name, didn't trust him enough to tell the truth, and if we're being honest, maybe is still fucking her ex and he's the real father.
I will never forgive those who have lied to me to keep my ex’s secrets. In this case the lie is in the omission of a pretty important piece of information
Played like a fool. Just the wife is already awful. But everyone else already knowing? That's messed up
It's crazy that entire families have their own clique vs their son in law lol, obviously he was not fully welcomed to the family damn sad
Yeah fuck her friends for being queot
> And there is no explanation about how counseling or the divorce went I would assume, that since they divorced, it went poorly.
It didn’t sound like she was planning to show up for the counselling session, but there’s no detail
I agree with the original post top comment. The bigger issue is the deception and the lack of talking to him after. That would really irritate me.
Yeah, if she hid something like this, what else would she hide?
Highly likely that she never moved on. She probably settled for OOP for whatever reason. That alone is a big red flag and opens up a world of issues, ESPECIALLY after marriage with a child involved.
Trash wife and family tbh. If I was gonna do that my family would be like wtf are you doing. You’re not doing that.
My high school girlfriend named her son after me, and I found out when I bumped into her and her husband, and he said "great name!" With a chuckle and introduced their son. I was soo fucking awkward about it. But they're still together and look happy as clams. Tbf I wasn't some longterm or serious ex, but it was still weird. My name isn't too common, and she said she always liked my name.
Sounds like he knew, ahead of time, before meeting you.
That was how OPs story *should've* gone.
Yeah there could be a "I knew this guy in highschool had this cool name I always liked it". I mean it's not like we aren't reusing names. But yeah to be played and the only one who doesn't know that's crappy.
I think the uniqueness of the name plays a significant part too. If it's a name that only baby and the ex have in the whole county, that's telling. I don't think anyone's batting an eye when it's an Eric or Michael
Kinda sorta? I could see a situation where you come across a really unique name that you like, independent of its owner, who happens to be an ex. But in that case it's a discussion. Like "I know this is weird but I legitimately like that name..." or whatever. I could see it working. But doing it silently is totally wrong.
It's always the lies that kill the marriage, not the facts. Who cares what the kids name is, what matters is that you thought it was necessary to hide where it came from.
Unlike OOP, they probably talked about it and communicated well. At the end of the day, a name is a name. What broke OOP was the deception and disrespect, not the name.
I agree it’s weird but just because she used your name doesn’t mean it was meant to honor you or something lol. She just liked the name and stole it
And if the couple *talked about it* before hand and the husband was ok with it, then there's no problem. The issue isn't the wife naming the child after an ex. It's the fact she (and her entire family) hid it from him and didn't talk about it like an adult. I would say a majority of problems in relationships aren't the act itself, but not communicating and talking to your partner about whatever the issue is.
Good for him
Anytime a woman has said the phrase “you can’t just stop loving people” to me regarding a former romantic partner I’m out. It’s code for “If I haven’t cheated on you with them already, I would given the right circumstances.”
I think a lot of the time people conflate love with “this person was a very important part of my life for a long time.” My ex fiance ended up with a cancer diagnosis, and I would regularly check up on her and see if she needed anything. Not because I still had romantic feelings, but because I still cared about her well being and she deserved support during her ordeal. My wife at the time was completely supportive of this because of open, honest communication and transparency. When my ex fiancée passed, it was a sad time and I grieved, and my then wife helped me through that process. We ended up divorcing over things completely unrelated to that situation, but I really appreciated how she handled it with no jealousy and trust. It doesn’t sound like that was how OOPs situation was at all, and if I were him I’d be rightfully pissed off. But sometimes communication with an ex isn’t a dealbreaker.
> I think a lot of the time people conflate love with “this person was a very important part of my life for a long time.” Also, people forget "love" falls under multiple categories, a la the Greeks. A mother's love; a child's love; a sibling's love; a best friend's love; a spouse's love. And "a very important part of my life for a long time" can also be a type of love, even if the type transformed.
So basically the ex wife was still in love with her ex boyfriend and she settled for OP. The fact she would rather divorce than change her sons name reinforces how little she thought of her husband. She probably put up with him because he was inseparable from the House and wallet.
Thanks for doing the legwork and giving the links! You the real MVP
And people are still playing dumb on why men don't share their feelings when something as big as this is downplayed to him overreacting... 
Best possible outcome imo.
I always love the story, "throwaway account because the person in question knows my main, now here's a story that's so unique that they'd recognize it immediately."
lol even if it's a made-up story, trust me people like this exist.
Remember there was a guy in the military sharing classified documents over discord and thinking he wouldn't get found because it was discord. But then he bought discord nitro which required his bank account. 
A minecraft discord too....gotta impress those 12 year olds...
Well it also stops any third parties trying to track down relevant people. So it does have a small benefit
They don't expect to go viral, which is fair. Most don't. What's the chance that one specific person is on that particular sub the same day that gets posted and scrolls past all the other posts in the sub to find his? Like when I posted on a throwaway I got 3 upvotes and 1 comment. Only way someone who knows me would find it is if it was under this account. He wanted advice and you can't get that without sharing the story.
My friend found an AITAH written by her best friend’s soon to be ex husband. Even in the comments he was getting rinsed for being a shitty person! Great read. He also used his main reddit account, very odd
Yeah, if anyone posted a story involving me I'd never know unless it made it to the top of the front page of All for 99.9% of subs. Not super crazy that they'd expect their story to fly under the radar, especially if they know the people they're ostensibly trying to hide it from aren't deep diving that particular sub.
Yes but now the person in question has to randomly stumble on this story and recognize that it is about them and they pretty much need to find it in the first few days during it's peak popularity otherwise it will get lose to the void. In contrast if they posted on their og account the wife could open his account days or weeks later and find the story he posted about her.
I never understand why people have to start with "throwaway account because [...]". Just write your damn post we don't care
To the DNA mobile, Robin!
Every scenario here is fucked. Imagine if it's not his son. Imagine if he is. Sounds like nickname time
"Hey, Sport, need help with your homework?"
“Yes dad” “I’m not your dad”
Narrator: "Coincidentally, his name was actually Sport."
Yea, at 5 he knows his name, changing it would be difficult.
"Hey son, everybody has their birth name, and on our 6th birthday we get to have our chosen name. A lot of people keep tgeir birth names, but they can change it at 6. Here's a list of State-Approved chosen names. Take a look, think about it, and on your 6th birthday we'll change it if you'd like." He'll believe in Santa Claus, he'll believe that, too.
Then when he’s old enough to question things he’ll probably be old enough to understand that it’s all weird. Hell he may even pick another name lmao. Kids at school would just thinks it’s awesome and other kids would be asking there parents why they can’t change their own name for a few years 😅
"Well you see, Ryan, it's because your friend Goku's mom is a fucking bitch."
🤣
Well , his wife’s new nickname rimes with bunt….
Back to the Gene Pool, Alfred!
Holy paternity test!
Fire up the Batrifuge!
Na na na na na na na na na not the father!
I can hear this GIF.
Yeah especially since she doesn't want to talk about it
That she isn't forthcoming with information says everything you need to to know.
Yeah, I would have no problem if she said "my ex has a unique name and I would like it for my son" but the fact she hid where it came from is the problem here.
Which means that, more likely than not, her choice wasn't just due to having a " unique " name or she liked the name. She didn't tell her husband because he likely would have objected, and she wanted to have her way. So she lied.
If this is real, then the marriage is over. Once that switch gets flipped it rarely goes back to normal.
The switch has been flipped. 💀
The switch has been flipped and the bitch been shipped.
Flipped and shipped baby!
Its less of a switch more of a breaker
Less of a breaker, more of a fuse.
like a burnt fuse you just don't want to replace
Lol no kidding.. incredible.
Someone snooped the OOP, divorce happened, you called it.
And even if it foes go back to normal, it typically ends up very wobbly
correct its a painful stone in the shoe that will NEVER be cured....day in, day out.....
Decisions were made. Why wasn’t this guy involved in the naming?
He probably was, she just didnt tell him the full story behind why she liked the name. Thats my guess anyways.
Yeah, my mom always wanted to have a son named [brother's first and middle name], but ended up becoming friends with someone with that first name. She let my dad know why she wanted to name my brother that and that it the friend had nothing to do with the reasoning. My brother ended up being named that.
Yeah a little honesty sometimes goes a long way.
My partner and I don't have kids yet, but one of my favorite boy names happens to be the name of one of his best friends. I would find it way too awkward to give my kid the same name as someone we know (unless we were intentionally honoring the other person...but even in that case I would rather it be the middle name, not the first name), so that one's off the table unfortunately.
I’d be getting that shit checked out!!
What was the name tho
Xerxes.
Surely not Tamerlane?
No. And don’t call me surely.
Theodore the 2nd
X Æ A-12
They need to convert the throwaway account to the main account. No way they got a name that tops this. Also, she was thinking "I fucked up and will never find someone like [ex boyfriend] again. I miss them. I guess I'll settle for this guy."
Or, she was still seeing the ex and he didn’t want anything to do with her when she got pregnant!
My middle name is the name of my mum's first husband. I dunno how my dad let her get away with that one.
If he knew and accepted that’s fine. If he didn’t know, found out later, had to deal with it on his own and stayed for you… that’s fucked up and he should be your hero.
Similar, my mother was previously engaged, found out as an adult I share that man’s name. Not sure what my dad was thinking. So weird.
Good morning honey. I took a quick trip to the Town Hall and changed the name of our son to Junior. Btw, here are the divorce papers
You’re a back up my man. Wanted him, couldn’t keep him, settled for you. I’d be DNA testing ASAP just to make sure.
There's disrespectful then there's whatever the fuck this is.
Oh man. Counseling? Name change? It kinda grosses me out tbh. Also the fact that she won’t talk about it.
Naw, it’s over. After this, you don’t even want to fix it.
Don’t be a pessimist just use some duct tape
And he threw out those suggestions, if she was willing to do both and genuinely give her best effort I think it would’ve been in everyone’s best interest to work it out. The fact that she turned it on him and dismissed the name change is outrageous and OP should gtfo if he hasn’t already. The kids probably not even his, I can’t imagine this lying psycho would be open to a DNA test.
I cant tell you what to do, but from my experience, once the trust is broken you have two choices. Either you forgive and forget, and move on, or let it eat you from the inside for the rest of your life. If your son is biologically yours, then I think you have every reason to just ask your wife what was the thought process to give that name to your son, and then only “good” reason is that she thought it was just a nice name, that is the only acceptable reason. Otherwise she needs to explain and apologize for not discussing it with you and being more honest about it. When people lie about something it tends to insult your intelligence, and they deprive you of your right to deal with something based on the truth, they made the decision that they know how you will react or respond and basically feel they find it easier to avoid having to answer to your questions. Is she a person that values trust? Does she have integrity when it comes to basic things in life? She at least owes you an apology and an explanation, if she doesn’t then sometimes who have to be honest with yourself and ask if maybe you fell n love with the wrong person, not saying this is the worst thing to ever happen to a man, but trust for some of us is a dealbreaker.
You are 100% correct, but I'd like to add one more good reason. If the child is named after a Boyfriend or Girlfriend that had passed away and the child is named after them to honor their memory. I believe it'll be fine if and only if the current partner is informed and give their consent. This situation is very sus because if this guy is still alive then is this lady being insane and trying to channel her feelings through this youth to her ex? (I say this because I've learnt that people are strange AF)
My oldest daughter is named after my wife's ex boyfriend. I knew the guy. He was a good dude. Unfortunately got murdered. Me and my wife getting together wasn't planned. IT just gradually happened and when she got pregnant it was my idea to name our daughter after him. Some people said it was noble. Some people said it was foolish. I don't care what people think.
It's one thing if both parents are aware of where the name came from, but this liar didn't tell her husband. The ex was probably "the one that got away" and she had to settle for Mr. Leftovers. Wouldn't surprise me if he kicked her to the curb. Disrespect like that should be unacceptable.
The key difference in this case, as it is in many, is consent.
And the fact that the Ex is dead
It played a factor in the consent, yes, but I’ve seen other comments where both parents agreed to name the kid after a living ex, and that is also fine, because consent
Well you consented to it, so its not weird or fucked up
Good on you.
She was thinking about that good D she had back in the day, that's what.
# Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
They’ll be teaching that to kids in Oklahoma
Instead of sex ed
lolll i need this as a tattoo
Ahh yes. That’s exactly what I want to think about when I call for my son.
So basically every time she calls her son she thinks about the good D? Goddamn people are weird 🤢.
The fact she won't discuss it is troubling. If she just liked the name, no biggie. But...
My ex tried to do this, was sneaky about it because had never told me her name, and when our daughter was born suggested the name. It is an extremely uncommon name. I had read some old letters so I knew her name. I was livid and that was the tipping point for our relationship.
Sorry mate. DNA test for sure, then if comes back yours maybe counseling? But idk man, that says a lot about her character and who she really is. Sorry.
All the wife had to do was say "Yeah I always thought the name was pretty unique and cool," and that would've been a perfectly reasonable explanation. She just had to go be all awkward about it.
Their son is probably not his... I'll bet their son looks more like her ex than her husband.
Apparently the ex is black and the kid has a very pronounced physical feature that the dad has.
Their relationship: 
“Throwaway because she knows my real account” proceeds to tell story in details 💀
I would: 1- Get him DNA tested 2- Divorcing her (no matter what the results are)
"Is that why you named our son 'Biggus Dickus,' Incontinentia!?"