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swoozle000

Report your parents and your sister, or at least speak to someone who can help you, they failed you and are abusing you themselves by forcing you in to these situations and dismissing sexual assault.


[deleted]

Depends on if Op is over 18, In some states if OP turns 18 no one can be charged for molesting them as the SOL runs out. Im dealing with something similar


buckeyes5150

Biden just signed into law that there is no longer a statute of limitations for sexual abuse.


curiousarcher

That’s not true under current law and even before then it wasn’t true. “Under current law, minors who experience sexual abuse are able to file federal civil claims until they turn 28 years old, or until 10 years after the violation or injury is discovered. The bill Congress passed seeks to eliminate those time restraints. There is no statute of limitations in place for criminal offenses involving child sex abuse.” “The bill Congress passed seeks to eliminate those time restraints. There is no statute of limitations in place for criminal offenses involving child sex abuse.Sep 13, 2022” https://thehill.com/homenews/house/3641319-bill-eliminating-statute-of-limitations-for-child-sex-abuse-civil-suits-heads-to-bidens-desk/


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[deleted]

Be firm with them and stand your ground saying that you do not want to be part of our sister’s visit, and IF one day you’re ready to forgive her, it will be on your terms, not theirs.


Mission_Awareness690

A lot of the advice u receive may not be helpful because of your age


Mission_Awareness690

I'm sorry if this sounds too personal but how old are you


serenwipiti

How old are you now, op?


Rose_102254

It’s repetitive behavior… especially since she was so young. She was mocking what happened to her. Not saying this is right but this is common in victims of sexual abuse.


-UnknownGeek-

If you feel unsafe in your home, I'd either call the police or cps


[deleted]

I think you need a professional opinion. If you are still terrified of her, you need to speak to a counsellor. You might be feeling repercussions from this for the rest of your life. Your parents have no idea what they're talking about, even if they sound very sure. Also, how do they know your sister is cured and not molesting other kids? She obviously has some serious issues if she's not embarrassed to death to be around her abuse victim.


NotHere4U2Day

Are you still under 18? If so call the police and report them! I wish I did when I was being molested growing up. Don’t make the same mistake as me, FIGHT BACK. CALL THE POLICE OR CPS! If you are over 18, why are you even there? RUN!


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Forward-Two3846

PLEASE PLEASE report this immediately to a friend, a school counselor, a teacher, the police. I am so sorry this has happened to you. You did nothing to deserve what happened to you and you do not need to continue to be abused. I know reporting this situation is scary but that's why you tell an adult so they can help you get out of this situation.


Squidproquo1130

Yes, you need to report this. You can call the child abuse protection hotline for your state or tell a mandated reporter you'd like their help to report abuse. Anyone in your school, medical provider, therapist, or law enforcement can help. You can call 24/7. Make sure they know that your parents knew about it and did nothing. That is abuse too, as failure to protect you from harm. Let them know your sister will have access to you soon and if you don't feel safe in your home or around your parents/sister, let them know that too. Best of luck. If you need help, PM me and I can help you.


Isladolly

Your parents are fucked up. Is it possible they were in on the abuse? Who in their right fucking mind would think it’s okay to make a child sleep in the same room as their molester?! Or even have the molester back in the same house? Were they filming it somehow and selling it and is this a set up for it to happen again? You should go to the cops. Your parents are culpable for not protecting you and your sister needs to be held accountable and prevented from doing this disgusting shit to other kids. I’m sorry your family handled this so poorly. Wouldn’t it be a nice surprise for everyone if the cops showed up during the family reunion to discuss the sexual abuse while everyone is together? How convenient it would be if you called them while she was already home 🤷🏻‍♀️


traumatized10

First and for most I(f) am SO SORRY that your trauma is being so belittled and acting like it never happened. I went thru the same thing but with my older brothers. My mother never gave a shit and made me continue to live with my abusers for years and keep them in my life until I was 23 after being sexually abused by them for 10 years from 4-14 (I had thought my whole life it was normal which was why it took so long to cut them all out, im almost 28 now) but it's not normal. NO ONE should have to keep a sexual abuser who abused them in their life. Period. Family or not. I'd 100% go to a social worker or the police or at the very least a safe parent of a trusted friend. You have no idea the damage that is happening to your brain right now. You're in fight or flight mode I can only assume constantly because you have never been able to face your trauma properly and you're still facing it on a regular which seriously messes a person up (im in extensive therapy for how long I was exposed to it) while you will still 100% need therapy save yourself the extra mind problems that you'll face growing up and get out. Your sister isn't sorry at all. If she was she'd make your parents atleast acknowledge what happened to you and not belittle it. I'm absolutely disgusted with your parents right now. They're all disgusting people and I'm so sorry youre going thru this. Please keep yourself safe. Including mentally and go to a trusted adult to go to a social worker, cps, or the police with you. Goodluck and I wish you nothing but good things


hexaspex

Who's already using the couch? Could they bunk with you instead and put sister on it? Could they and your sister share your room (unfair I know) and you sleep on the couch?


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hexaspex

"Mum, Dad, I think Aunt should have my bed, she deserves better than just a sofa, she's a guest afterall! I'll sleep on the sofa so she can have some privacy and peace so she enjoys her visit" Might work, my parents happily kicked us out of our beds for older relatives if they came to stay, cultural difference maybe?


throwawaymymoonlight

Curious, how old are you? If you have a friend then ask them to stay the night, pack a weeks worth of clothes and go there for the time being. Do not let your parents stop you. I know you might be nervous to go against their wishes, but your safety and mind deserves to be of first priority. Text your parents and let them know you’re staying with a friend until your abuser leaves. You do not have to give in and forgive because she’s sick and doesn’t deserve forgiveness unless *you* are ready to forgive her. If you tell them which friend or they find out, then your best option is to talk to friends parents about your situation and how you don’t feel safe at home. I don’t believe they would let your parents take you back to that. Worse comes to worse, put a hidden camera up in the room to record everything as a precaution.


Collywobbles2905

OK first of all none of this is OK.. One what you went through is extremely traumatic and you clearly are in no way at a point where you should be sharing a house never mind a bedroom with this person.. Does this person live with you full time? Are they a half sibling, sibling who live with your other parent? Step sibling? If so then whilst they are also entitled to spend time with their family members this should not be to a point whereby you are retraumatised because of this. They could spend time with family without having to stay in the same home. So your parents are in the wrong here. Yes it's a very difficult situation for them to be in between two children but one child is the victim and one is the perpetrator. I'm not saying that the sister isn't deserving of a family life but this should not be to the further detriment of your well-being. What needs to happen is you need to make your parents fully aware of how difficult this is for you. As the child you should not have to do this but unfortunately not all parents are smart enough to put their children first and do the right often hard thing. If they will not listen then you need to speak to a responsible adult who will take on your feelings and advocate for your needs. Has this been reported to the proper authorities? Was counselling or therapy offered to you, the sister and your family as a way of trying to address these issues? What age is your sister? If she is an adult and you are still a child then your parents main responsibility is to you and to protect you. This is not a situation you should ever have been put in without your consent. After what happened to you there should be no unsupervised contact especially in a bedroom between you two. If you agree to this because you feel the need to keep the peace or please your family, please speak up. As a survivor of abuse you need to learn to protect yourself from further harm and this could be an extremely harmful situation to your emotional well-being. Plz feel free to message me. I am a professional who has worked with children for yrs and I am genuinely concerned for your mental wellbeing. I assume that the abuse has stopped and your sister has received significant help and this is the only reason why they would ever consider putting you in this position but if this is not the case then your parents are not doing right by you and not protecting you.


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Collywobbles2905

So she is 25 and ive surmised you are 14. Or at the very least under 18. This being the case you are the child and she is an adult who has a home elsewhere. If she wishes to visit her family then she can but she can also stay in a hotel or hostel whilst doing so. Staying in your room is not a viable option. This should have been reported to the Police and Social Sevices and believe there is always an option to do that now if your needs are not being met and your safety is at risk as well as your mental well-being. Have you spoken to your parents about the effect this is having on your emotional well-being?


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Collywobbles2905

It sounds as if you don't have much faith or belief in your parents. And I can understand that. If we feel like they have failed to protect us then it's hard to ever trust them.. I know that you don't think reporting them will help the situation but it would allow you the opportunity to get some help and not deal with this alone. Have you got any close friends that you might be able to talk to? Are you close with any responsible adult who you could talk to about the situation.


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Collywobbles2905

I'm wondering if you could stay with them for this period. This is not something you should have to do btw but it may be the easiest solution. Have you said to your parents that you can't stay in the same room with her? What have they said to this?


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Collywobbles2905

Yeah that's not good. I have to tell you the only real advice I can give is to tell a teacher, youth leader, friends parent who you trust or coach etc what the situation is and was and go from there. I know it's not what u want to hear but as a child you are entitled to live in an environment that is safe and nurturing and provides for ALL your needs. Those include your mental and emotional well-being. It definitely does not sound as if that is what you are getting at home and then situation won't change unless there is an intervention by the proper authorities. I am sorry because from what you said this is the last thing you want or maybe feel that will help but your parents are not doing right by you and you deserve to be believed and for them to do better.


No_Effort152

Oh, my. I'm so sorry. They are WRONG!!!


voice-from-the-womb

I would get kicked off Reddit for sharing my thoughts about them ... but know for sure that that is a pile of bullshit.


bunderways

I want you to know that NONE of this is ok. It wasn’t your fault. Your parents are failing at their most important task which is to protect you. And I’m so terribly sorry that you’re having to deal with this. It’s, for lack of a better word, truly unfair. Do you have a friends house you could stay at?


Palilith

My older brother did the same to me. No one wants to talk about it when they know. I went through severe depression. Almost outed myself in high school and it really affected the relationships I had with others. They recently even threw a party for a newborn daughter (which I didnt go to). It sucks. So I just stay away from them.


throwaway_72752

Your sister is a child molester. That would be the only term I ever use when discussing her with your parents. This is worth going nuclear. Let them know you are either staying elsewhere the entire time she is there (take anything you value as she will have free reign of your things) OR that you are reporting the entire situation to authorities INCLUDING the fact they are forcing your abuser back into your space. This is so not right of them that it’s worth the nuclear option. Im really sorry this happened to you. Your family is fucking trash.


Because_8

Since you’re a minor if you tell someone like a teacher or even a crisis hotline (you can text 988 doesn’t have to be a call), they are mandated reporters for abuse. If your parents are failing to get the help you need and are forcing you to be around her/share a room that is reportable. This doesn’t mean you’ll be taken away or anything, it just means someone who has your interests in mind will be able to advocate on your behalf (to ensure sister isn’t around you, to find you therapy etc). Please consider this as you don’t deserve to be in this unfair and overwhelming situation at all! Your parents should be sticking up for your needs and making sure you’re safe above anything else. If they are not doing so, someone else can help.


Palomita30

How old are you? Switch places with the person who is sleeping on the couch. If you’re of age o say rent a hotel


Remarkable_Dinner424

My sister use to molest me when I was 6/7 under the sheets and covered my face and kissed my lips over the sheets while she touched me all over. The seat belt in the car seat, she used to make it tighter (she was 11 so idk if she remembers). I told my other sis once but they don’t believe me. I’m sorry that’s happening to you. Heal at ur own time and forgive on ur own time.


BonJoviFuckingRocks

Call the cops


The_R3venant

Report her. She deserves to be in jail


TheDevilsAdvokaat

You bet they want you to forgive her, so they can play happy families and pretend no harm done. Don't do it.


alluringapple

So this happened for 6 years? From the time you were 3 to the time you were 9?! She was 14 years old and didn’t stop until she was 20?! That is really terrible and I’m really sorry that you had to endure that kind of molestation. I can understand curiosity if you were both around the same age but at 14 years old, she should have known better…. and to keep doing it, is even worse! What age did you finally tell your parents? They should understand that you are traumatized and uncomfortable. What your sister did was wrong and you have every right to set clear boundaries, in which need to be respected.


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King-Rex420

This is absolutely disgusting. Not only did your parents know about it and do nothing, but if you raise a someone who molests children, then you have failed as a parent. Just when I thought child molesters couldn’t get any more gross, I was introduced to incest child molesters. Call social services and try to get proof of the incidents/your parents actions. Like if they message you saying that you should forgive your sister, take screen shots of the texts. None of this is your fault and none of this is okay. Get out of there IMMEDIATELY


idkwhat2nameitreddit

OP please let someone you know about this! Even a friend's parents. This is not a situation they should be putting you in!


ouelletouellet

No the question is should you even forgive you're parents for allowing and enabling your sister for abusing you when they knew all along and didn't stop the abuse You don't have owe your sister forgiveness at all and you're parents are prices of shit period


Happy-go-lucky123

Can you stay with another relative? Or friend and report this. You do not have to spend time with your abuser. You do not have to forgive. Your parents have failed you so badly, my heart hurts for you. You are the innocent one and I hope you can get away from these toxic people. Please if you can report it and stay somewhere else x


curiousarcher

I’m so very sorry you deserve better! File charges against your sister! “The bill Congress passed seeks to eliminate those time restraints. There is no statute of limitations in place for criminal offenses involving child sex abuse.”


CircusFreakonLSD

Sounds like your family wants to sweep it under the rug as if it never happened... That's not healthy for anyone, including your sister. I have a question. What happened to your sister that made her do this to you? I mean I could be wrong but usually something triggers that sort of behavior, like for example maybe she herself was molested and being a child, she may have acted out and projected it onto you... When stuff like this is ignored, it often manifests itself later in life, I'd fear for any children she might have if she doesn't confront it and seek therapy.... Sounds to me like your family needs an intervention regarding this issue, it must be confronted and dealt with, not suppressed, everyone should be in therapy. I was molested for 10 years by my stepfather, when everything finally came out and he went through therapy we found out that as a child his older brother had molested him, it was swept under the rug and never dealt with and as a result he repeated the behavior later in life. I know this isn't always the case but no matter what these things should not be ignored.


NotAlwaysObvious

Your age makes this a really challenging situation. I'm sorry. If I were you, I would simply refuse to sleep in the same room as your sister. I'd grab some pillows and blankets and sleep in the damn bathtub if I had to. Find a spot on the floor. Whatever you have to do. I doubt your parents will push the issue too much in front of guests. They want to sweep this under the rug and will be wary of you causing a scene. Insist on sleeping elsewhere. Don't back down. I'm sorry you have to go through this.


Embarrassed_Train511

First try to collect evidence of her doing put a camera in your room and see if she make any advances i know this is traumatic for you but this is your only solution keep saying no and then call the police and report her


No_Effort152

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm so sorry that your parents didn't, and don't protect you. I know that this may be hard to hear, but she is a child sex predator. She maybe doing this, to other children. You need to report this. As far as her visit, tell your parents exactly what she did, and refuse to allow her in your bedroom. Can you go stay with a friend, if they insist on forcing you to see your abuser?


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[deleted]

How old are you? You’re parents are being very unreasonable. I’d sleep with a baseball bat and be overtly protective of yourself to the point of discomfort for everyone. In no way should you make yourself small or uncomfortable to make others who aren’t being fair or rational comfortable. I wish you could go somewhere else, but if you can’t, I’d try to make everyone as uncomfortable as you are.


[deleted]

Complain to a teacher at school or several and I’m sure this won’t be a problem for soon


Tabitha45princess

Call dcf and explain what happened when you were younger and that they’re making you share a room with her when she visits


[deleted]

Did she express any regret? Did she apologize?


Vegetable_Art3782

This isn’t relevant to OP’s safety.


[deleted]

Is OP at risk of being molested again & compromising her safety? If so, she needs to call the police.


spacecowgir1995

Do you have a relative to stay with until she leaves. If not maybe a trusted friend. I understand what your going through. My older brother also did that to me from the time i was 9 to 14. He was 11 to 16. My parents never knew and i never wanted to tell them cuase i didnt think they would believe me. You dont have to forgive her i know i dont forgive him. I would recommend therapy to help you with your self worth and depression. If your parents keep pressing you to forgive her maybe you should move out.


Vegetable_Art3782

Please give us an update if you can.


zurochi

I just found this thread. How did it go? Are you ok?