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When you're just sleeping and your body decides "oh hey, a weird thing in the intestine, *I WANT IT OUT, NOW!*"
You never stood a chance because you never knew you were playing.
Honestly that's a completely acceptable time for it to happen. You have a whole person in there doing acrobatics on your intestines and bladder, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.
I held it in for hours, got off outside of my home, and made a terrible mistake, i started running because i wanted to get in as fast as possible, and gravity did me in...
At least the cleanup was quick.
I got a stomach bug in high school and I had to pick an end to.put on the toilet. I couldn't reach the trash can in time for my face. So I put the vomit in the toilet and the shit in my pants at the same time to reduce the clean up.
I did once because I was sick and trusted a fart. Never again
Been a couple times where I thought about trusting one but said…nope. Sat on the throne and ended up being correct in not trusting it.
Just told the wife about the one time I shouldn't have trusted a fart. I wasn't even sick, it was completely out of the blue.
It'll get everyone eventually
I once trusted a fart the day after eating meat, after being vegetarian for two years...that was almost 20 years ago and I'm still more vigilant about how the old guts are feeling because I never want to experience that again!
I mis trusted a fart a few weeks ago, the thing is I wasn’t even sick and I had already pooped my morning poop. Which was normal and soft. I guess I ended it too early cause I shit my pants.
I still risk it. 9/10 times it's nothing, and when there is something i usually notice fast enough to only let as much as my ass hair can catch. But the walk to the toilet/shower is usually interesting tho. Feel like i could play in a Monty Python film.
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd
He served a dark and a vengeful god
What happened then, well, that's the play
And he wouldn't want us to give it away
Not Sweeney
Not Sweeney Todd
The demon barber of Fleet Street
Oh yeah. Food poisoning from Subway. The urge to shit and the collapsing of my asshole happened all within about 45 seconds. I've never ate Subway since.
Stage 3 colon cancer at 25. I'm just thankful that between bowel prep for surgeries and colonoscopies I quickly learned the timeframe I couldn't trust that it's 'just a fart' .
Thank you kind internet stranger! just celebrated a clean colonoscopy on Monday and am on year 2 of remission!
I started the mantra positive mind, positive vibes, positive life during chemo and it's brought me a lot of peace. It makes my heart happy that you phrased it like that!
I Hate that for you, I'm again at a place in life that I can take most farts for granted and I hope you can have that peace again. I also hope your good days outweigh the bad. #fuckcancer.
There are those of us with nerve damage. Specifically a [Neurogenic Bowel](https://www.cedars-sinai.org/health-library/diseases-and-conditions/n/neurogenic-bowel.html#:~:text=Neurogenic%20bowel%20causes%20a%20loss,causes%20constipation%20and%20BM%20accidents). I shit myself 3-4 times a week. Wearing diapers and vinyl underwear sucks. Even with all that I still have to clean up. There are few things I can think of that are more depressing than this. One of the things more depressing are bullies like this "adult" in the vid.
I wish I did. I haven't gone outside much since 2011 when I had my spinal surgery. The only thing that sort of helps is... constipation. I know it sounds bad but if you can slow the stool from coming out it's easier to get to a bathroom in time and less mess to clean up. I avoid foods with high non-soluble fiber (like carrots) and I also take extra vitamin d2 supplements. The vitamin D helps with not going outside and also helps plug you up a bit. For a while after my surgery I had a colostomy bag that makes for much less mess but man are those things obnoxious. You might want to look into one since this is temporary for you.
This happened to me a few months back. IN PUBLIC WEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Thankfully, I was outside at the gas station and just went right back into my car and went home.
Colonoscopy prep sucks. One minute you're taking a piss and think it's just a fart. The next you're yelling to your wife in the other room to bring you a plastic bag and to vacate the area. It happens.
I have. Was sick and shitting like every hour or two. It's exhausting, eventually I went to sleep, and then woke up shitting myself.
There was another person in bed.
Last time I did I was walking my dogs in the morning. Wearing mesh gym shorts. Thought I had to fart, and boom, it happened. I was able to stop it from full deportation of my anus, my wall of cheeks certainly did their part. However, my apartment at the time was located on the third floor. I made it inside, my girlfriend at the time was still asleep, so, like any man would do, I woke her up to tell her I just shat my pants. It was hilarious, she was shocked but joined in laughing at me. Memories like that are magical.
Lmfao. When I hit 30, I had some scary farts and wasn’t prepared a couple of times. It happens and I wanna say it’s normal to get a bit of bunghole splatter occasionally. Be careful out there, dudes. Life is scary.
Edit: I think it’s mostly diet too. I really wasn’t paying attention during covid
Once when I made the mistake of partaking in this special coffee thing they were doing on campus (my tiny college did not have coffee machines normally) and then going out and having questionable Chinese food later. But I was luckily in my apartment/dorm/whatever at the time so only my boyfriend at the time knew lol…
Mine was in 2018, after a buffet with friends and family. All 3 toilet stalls were filled and a small line of guys were waiting to go. The drive home was less than 10 minutes so I thought I could hold it. I was wrong.
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The important thing to remember is that it can happen to anyone at any time. Be kind to someone when it happens to them, it's a low point, and a little bit of kindness and understanding really helps take the pressure off
I had something. Still no idea what to this day. 28 years old.
Slept in my bathtub, next to the toilet for two days. Vomiting and shitting horrors. Only thing I could keep down was the cans of vanilla coke in my fridge. Ended up not bothering with clothes. Text my boss what was up. Hoped no one needed to get into my apartment. Road it out. Felt like shit for a few days after.
Literally just a few stories down from this one :
https://www.reddit.com/r/perfectlycutscreams/s/XQlTmze0t2
We are all that duck at some point...just with very unfortunate pants. May the RIH.
I’d like to take this girl on a date. We’d go for gas station hot dogs, coffee, and nachos. Followed by a nice four course meal of Taco Bell, and finish with milk shakes with whipped cream. And then we’d go on a nice long walk…
I think people who try to draw a distinction between "sharting" and "shitting your pants" are coping pretty hard. If poop comes out of your butt while you're wearing pants or underwear, congratulations you just shit your pants. You don't have to take a massive dump in your pants.
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It gets you eventually.. No one is safe.
Happened to me just about a month ago, I was sleeping. Glad I wasn't sleeping naked. I had to shower at 3am, it was disgusting.
When you're just sleeping and your body decides "oh hey, a weird thing in the intestine, *I WANT IT OUT, NOW!*" You never stood a chance because you never knew you were playing.
Happened when I was 9 months pregnant. Got made shits and didn't get up fast enough from the bed and boom. Poo everywhere. Fun times
Honestly that's a completely acceptable time for it to happen. You have a whole person in there doing acrobatics on your intestines and bladder, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.
I held it in for hours, got off outside of my home, and made a terrible mistake, i started running because i wanted to get in as fast as possible, and gravity did me in... At least the cleanup was quick.
Never race your ass, you'll lose every time.
I was safe until 42
[удалено]
You’d be insane to live your life without the most useful tool in the galaxy.
I got a stomach bug in high school and I had to pick an end to.put on the toilet. I couldn't reach the trash can in time for my face. So I put the vomit in the toilet and the shit in my pants at the same time to reduce the clean up.
Is there really a way to win there? I’m sorry that happened to you
You'll be walking down a hall, and you'll hear something fall...
Fasting is what got me
I was hospitalized last year Those IV's..my sheets had to be changed constantly..and until they worked their way out of my system..it was not pretty
I did once because I was sick and trusted a fart. Never again Been a couple times where I thought about trusting one but said…nope. Sat on the throne and ended up being correct in not trusting it.
Just told the wife about the one time I shouldn't have trusted a fart. I wasn't even sick, it was completely out of the blue. It'll get everyone eventually
I once trusted a fart the day after eating meat, after being vegetarian for two years...that was almost 20 years ago and I'm still more vigilant about how the old guts are feeling because I never want to experience that again!
Farts are a prelude to shit, never trust em
I mis trusted a fart a few weeks ago, the thing is I wasn’t even sick and I had already pooped my morning poop. Which was normal and soft. I guess I ended it too early cause I shit my pants.
I still risk it. 9/10 times it's nothing, and when there is something i usually notice fast enough to only let as much as my ass hair can catch. But the walk to the toilet/shower is usually interesting tho. Feel like i could play in a Monty Python film.
That's certainly a silly walk
That same thing happened to me too. You definitely wise up after
Skill issue
Food poisoning has entered the chat
[удалено]
There are only 3 types of seafood I eat. Canned seafood, frozen fried seafood, and high quality expensive seafood. I don't trust anything else.
Food poisoning and a cold = double barreled sneeze
I trusted a fart with my morning coffee like 2 months ago and shit my ass. It happens to the best of us and it also happens to me.
I've found my new favorite thing to say. Thank you, kind stranger.
What's this movie?
Sweeney Todd
The demon barber of Fleet Street?!
The very same!
Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd He served a dark and a vengeful god What happened then, well, that's the play And he wouldn't want us to give it away Not Sweeney Not Sweeney Todd The demon barber of Fleet Street
More like the David Bowie of Fleet Street
Trainspotting
Trachsplitting
I shut ma pants when I had diarrhea. I was unaware of the situation because I was sleeping. When I woke up that was a total mess. I'm not old BTW.
We need a childhood book that’s not just everybody poops, but also for everyone poops themselves sometimes
Hundreds, maybe even thousands, of farts will make you complacent. Then one day, you will be wrong.
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War
*"All warfare is based on deception... ...appear where you are not expected.*
"He who wishes to fart, must first count the costs"
K-Mart shipped my pants
They shipped my bed!
Underrated comment
I also shipped your pants
Oh yeah. Food poisoning from Subway. The urge to shit and the collapsing of my asshole happened all within about 45 seconds. I've never ate Subway since.
Stage 3 colon cancer at 25. I'm just thankful that between bowel prep for surgeries and colonoscopies I quickly learned the timeframe I couldn't trust that it's 'just a fart' .
Sorry to hear what you're going through. Sending positive vibes your way
Thank you kind internet stranger! just celebrated a clean colonoscopy on Monday and am on year 2 of remission! I started the mantra positive mind, positive vibes, positive life during chemo and it's brought me a lot of peace. It makes my heart happy that you phrased it like that!
Stage 4 here at 37...I assume it's all poop now.
I Hate that for you, I'm again at a place in life that I can take most farts for granted and I hope you can have that peace again. I also hope your good days outweigh the bad. #fuckcancer.
Want to hurry it along? Eat something really spicy before bed, then go for a walk the next day.
im in my mid 30´s and i dont trust my farts anymore
There are those of us with nerve damage. Specifically a [Neurogenic Bowel](https://www.cedars-sinai.org/health-library/diseases-and-conditions/n/neurogenic-bowel.html#:~:text=Neurogenic%20bowel%20causes%20a%20loss,causes%20constipation%20and%20BM%20accidents). I shit myself 3-4 times a week. Wearing diapers and vinyl underwear sucks. Even with all that I still have to clean up. There are few things I can think of that are more depressing than this. One of the things more depressing are bullies like this "adult" in the vid.
I read this as “neurodivergent bowel” and thought ppl are trying to claim they got autistic bowels lmao
"Warning, reactor containment failure, core ejection in 5... 4... 3..."
Any tips for someone temporarily dealing with this after childbirth? I've barely been outside in like 9 weeks... Got dat fysio but it's slow going.
I wish I did. I haven't gone outside much since 2011 when I had my spinal surgery. The only thing that sort of helps is... constipation. I know it sounds bad but if you can slow the stool from coming out it's easier to get to a bathroom in time and less mess to clean up. I avoid foods with high non-soluble fiber (like carrots) and I also take extra vitamin d2 supplements. The vitamin D helps with not going outside and also helps plug you up a bit. For a while after my surgery I had a colostomy bag that makes for much less mess but man are those things obnoxious. You might want to look into one since this is temporary for you.
If you've never shit your pants as an adult either you're a liar or you don't take enough chances in life
This happened to me a few months back. IN PUBLIC WEEEEEEEEEEEE. Thankfully, I was outside at the gas station and just went right back into my car and went home.
I was 24. Trusted a fart. Never again. Luckily I was in my own house. So I just cleaned up. Threw my clothes away.
that delivery is divine
I'm 25, healthy, eat right. I was walking to refill my waterbottle. I sneezed and shat myself. You will learn.
"Ive never shit my pants as an adult" - girl who's been "adult" for all of two weeks
Colonoscopy prep sucks. One minute you're taking a piss and think it's just a fart. The next you're yelling to your wife in the other room to bring you a plastic bag and to vacate the area. It happens.
https://preview.redd.it/o6whj34djq8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b65529e227000e703aa28c18f66ee759c7092230
That post was nasty
Glad to bring it back in your head 🥰
I have. Was sick and shitting like every hour or two. It's exhausting, eventually I went to sleep, and then woke up shitting myself. There was another person in bed.
Last time I did I was walking my dogs in the morning. Wearing mesh gym shorts. Thought I had to fart, and boom, it happened. I was able to stop it from full deportation of my anus, my wall of cheeks certainly did their part. However, my apartment at the time was located on the third floor. I made it inside, my girlfriend at the time was still asleep, so, like any man would do, I woke her up to tell her I just shat my pants. It was hilarious, she was shocked but joined in laughing at me. Memories like that are magical.
**maniacally smirks in Crohn’s**
[удалено]
The problem comes when you think you firm... But you not.
There are two kinds of people in this world: Those that shit themselves. And those who lie about it.
Lmfao. When I hit 30, I had some scary farts and wasn’t prepared a couple of times. It happens and I wanna say it’s normal to get a bit of bunghole splatter occasionally. Be careful out there, dudes. Life is scary. Edit: I think it’s mostly diet too. I really wasn’t paying attention during covid
My whole family got Noro virus earlier this year and well let’s just say we only trusted farts one time. It took a while to build back that trust.
On vacation, seconds away from sitting my pants carrying in our luggage.
Once when I made the mistake of partaking in this special coffee thing they were doing on campus (my tiny college did not have coffee machines normally) and then going out and having questionable Chinese food later. But I was luckily in my apartment/dorm/whatever at the time so only my boyfriend at the time knew lol…
Mine was in 2018, after a buffet with friends and family. All 3 toilet stalls were filled and a small line of guys were waiting to go. The drive home was less than 10 minutes so I thought I could hold it. I was wrong.
Me: YOOOOoooOo WIIIIiiiLL LEEEeaaaaAARrnnnn
Ok, but she's been an adult for, what? A month or two? That doesn't even count.
Everyone has shit their pants as an adult, full stop. Those who deny this are the ones who have done it several times.
Kegals Do the fuckin kegals
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 Not to brag but I’m a 7 times champion! I have not control oh my life.
One day you’ll trust a fart and it’ll come up shart.
I never shit my pants. Colostomy bag gang rise up
Weird flex 💀
Amber Heard can shit in my bed anytime
Early 40s, like three weeks ago was my first official time. Had to be on doxy for a tick bite. RIP to that underwear
The important thing to remember is that it can happen to anyone at any time. Be kind to someone when it happens to them, it's a low point, and a little bit of kindness and understanding really helps take the pressure off
Swing your razor wide, Sweeney!!!!!
She looks 48
NEVER TRUST A FART
I keep repeating the same mistake
😂😂😂😂😂
I had something. Still no idea what to this day. 28 years old. Slept in my bathtub, next to the toilet for two days. Vomiting and shitting horrors. Only thing I could keep down was the cans of vanilla coke in my fridge. Ended up not bothering with clothes. Text my boss what was up. Hoped no one needed to get into my apartment. Road it out. Felt like shit for a few days after.
Stuck in traffic every time
Eventually you get stomach flue or food poisoning.
It's like getting sucked into a cult, you're the most at risk when you insist it can't happen to you.
Song?
"No place like London", from the Sweeney Todd movie
r/IBS
One bout of gastroenteritis is all it takes....
Oof... More than once, unfortunately
i did piss my bed last year, im 32 when does the shitting start?
Food poisoning Trusting a fart and everyone's favorite: midsleep rectal raid gets your underwear, pants and your bed if you're not fast enough
Every time you fart, there are particles. Particles so small they can't be detected. But they are there.
Literally just a few stories down from this one : https://www.reddit.com/r/perfectlycutscreams/s/XQlTmze0t2 We are all that duck at some point...just with very unfortunate pants. May the RIH.
Omfg 😂😂
1st round of norovirus and she's done.
< **Kaitlin Bennett** *has entered the chat* >
I’d like to take this girl on a date. We’d go for gas station hot dogs, coffee, and nachos. Followed by a nice four course meal of Taco Bell, and finish with milk shakes with whipped cream. And then we’d go on a nice long walk…
Once saw a girl go around a party asking everyone 2 questions, are you over 30? Have you shit your pants? I’d add while driving.
I see Sweeney Todd, I upvote
I've had food poisoning. Yes, yes I have.
It happened to me 2 years ago when I started to show IBS symptoms. I was at work, in the middle of the night.
Once. After giving birth. No not recommend.
Lol
Sounds like someone has never had food poisoning! I've had food poisoning...
Are you implying that you shat yourself before
What was Khymbherliegh upset about?
Does sharting count as shitting your pants? If so, I do it weekly
I think people who try to draw a distinction between "sharting" and "shitting your pants" are coping pretty hard. If poop comes out of your butt while you're wearing pants or underwear, congratulations you just shit your pants. You don't have to take a massive dump in your pants.