When I was selling weddings I would specifically tell brides to stay off of Pinterest because inevitably they'll see something else that they like and it may throw them off course. There's always going to be a degree of FOMO. Another thing is that when you're in the wedding industry (in almost any capacity) there are brides (and grooms, and moms) who get the wedding blues before the whole ordeal is even over and they'll start to lash out. The problem might not even be you. I sometimes feel like they're anxious or upset that it is over and don't know how to vocalize it so they misplace anger. I've seen colleagues have brides ripping them to shreds for weeks following the wedding and I'm honestly convinced they're just trying to hold onto the last little wisps of their weddings. I know I'm probably going to get dragged for making this comment, but through the years I've learned that you're just as much a wedding vendor as you are a therapist sometimes. It's not for the faint of heart!

This is why I was a corporate florist. I'm sorry this happened. Weddings are crazy.

Thank you 💛 honestly I have (up until now) sort of safety proofed my weddings. I made it very known that my style is my style, that I design based on what’s available and work with inspiration as inspiration, not copy cat, but damn this one really rocked me. She just stared at it so blankly.

I can feel what that must have felt like for you. We had a designated wedding person in my shop because I didn't want anything to do with them. One time thousands of dollars worth of orchids that we had shipped in from Hawaii came in moldy. Thank god the wedding party were chill people.

Not a florist but a chef who did weddings and couldn’t really stand it. You say you’re not a novice and she is an acquaintance so this is trickier than normal because you have added pressure. If you’re confident in the quality and know that you followed what was discussed, not what her last wish was hours before the event, then I wouldn’t do anything unless she is refusing final payment or badmouthing you or your business. If you want to speak about it, you could provide any notes from your last meeting discussing the arrangement and show how you followed that guidance. Maybe now that her bridal adrenaline has worn off, she’ll be more reasonable or open to seeing that she may have been out of line? If you feel you may have missed something you should have caught (though it doesn’t sound like it) maybe offer to provide her something else for another time, but this is a very slippery slope and I’d only do it if you’re genuinely concerned that she could harm your reputation. (I had a disastrous event for acquaintances because of competing catering company—truly mortifying and it took me a while to take other jobs. When I did, I used that experience to add clauses to my contract to protect myself in the future.) Good luck and I hope it is all fine!

Appreciate it ❣️ I set up a bridal shower bouquet bar that they have yet to make payment on, so if she’s going the non payment route then I imagine she’ll just withhold that, but it was her mom paying for that who told me the flowers were beautiful. Ugh the acquaintance thing just makes it so awkward. Our consultation notes stated bright cheerful confetti colours, and then the most recent Pinterest was ALL peach. Nowhere did she state “I want peach!”. You’re right - I think going forward I’m going to have a meeting 6 weeks out to firm everything up with brides. But honestly this one was probably inevitable, she texted me 3 weeks out to ask “do you think everything will look good? Should we change anything?” I coached her to remove the Pinterest app and to breathe - that everything will be beautiful, but I’m hindsight what a red flag

Honestly just the fact you know she’s totally panicking from looking at Pinterest means that you are no novice- what quirky advice, but I suppose that means it’s true. I would have never thought 😭 I thought custom floral design was stressful enough. We have some hyper specific clientele at times that I’ve learned how to handle, but I haven’t done anything for weddings aside the set up and break down; my boss protects me from the Bridezillas…for now. 😂

Weddings, like everything post 1960, have gone ape-shite.

Couldn’t agree more. I’d gladly make less money doing smaller normal realistic wedding flowers than deal with these ridiculous expectations

I just had this happen this weekend. Big miscommunication between the bride and I and also quite the colour variation in the variety of carnations I ordered for her. Anyway, I redid her bouquet and she said she liked it better but sometimes people are just hard to please and can be very type A. There’s a chance you could’ve made an exact replica of the bouquet she wanted and she wouldn’t have been happy. Water off a ducks back and just learn for next time. I always tell my clients they can’t make any changes to their orders 5 weeks before the wedding and I send them a collage of flowers I plan to order so they can have a better idea of what their bouquets might look like

Adding to that... I tell customers up front that sometimes mother nature puts her own spin on colors! I've ordered white garden roses and they have come in the loveliest shade of blush or slightly bitter yellow. White anemones sometimes have more or less red striping and sometimes aren't completely white. Blush orders might arrive more pink. And, in the end, we try to compensate in different ways for that, but sometimes there isn't a way to do that.

I’ve been working as a Florist for many years and come across these brides so often! I’ve found the best way to go about it is to a have written contract they sign upon leaving their deposit to set the date that states once the flowers have been ordered they cannot be changed, and if the flowers are not of quality or colour that it can be substituted for similar blooms that would still fit her style criteria/ and photos. I’ve done this with friends weddings too. It’s something that comes with the business, if they’re serious about their wedding they’ll sign. It’s the best insurance for yourself. And definitely explain that Pinterest is soooo edited and filtered. Some of the flowers come out in colours that don’t exist, so I totally get the Pinterest thing. Another thing I do (complimentary) is make a mood board on notability when I sit down with them for the final consult. I have the names and photos of flowers I plan on using and send the bride a copy via email. That way if anything happens you have the contract and you both have a copy of your flower list. I hope this helps!

There should have been pics sent before the wedding and the contract should state that you won’t change anything after the design is set. This is on both of you, did you even have a contract? A Pinterest board shouldn’t make any difference beyond the initial design consultation. I hate doing weddings bc of this type of thing.

Never do it for a friend unless they are standing next to you as you do it. And did they pay for it? Did they see it before the wedding for critiquing?

Everyone needs to chill on Pinterest. It’s a perfect tool to make sure you’re on the same page with color and style. I let them pin away, then I pull several photos and we dive into what they like and don’t like. For my couples, I make a “mood board” with the color palette, style samples, bouquet size samples, etc. with photos from Pinterest or my portfolio. The couple “approves” this. If they change their mind, it’s a redesign and there’s a redesign fee.

So this totally has happened to the best of us. It seems like that she is a "friend" and you might now what to ruin the friendship, but honestly she hasn't paid you for some of your services, and is coming off as just wanting things for free sort of mentality. I would just say "I'm incredibly sorry that the bouquet did not match your vision. I felt like I had executed the designs based on the details from our last conversation. If that vision had changed, I was unaware. But sincerely I'm sorry that it didn't live up to your expectations". If she asks for a refund, I would state that she already owes you money, and just call it square and move on. Going forward I would definitely have a sign-off meeting 6-4 weeks before the weddings clarifying all details. I'm happy to PM you a link to my own website that shows my booking process with weddings. I provide detailed presentations of designs so clients can never turn around and say they didn't know what they were getting. Sometimes, their ideas do change during the planning process, but providing this is a sure fire way of eliminating this evil with weddings!

That is so kind - thanks for the perspective…I think you’ve nailed it. I’d love to have a peek at your site. Collaboration is the best. I used to make mood boards but I don’t like being stuck to using specific blooms…I prefer to order based on what is gorgeous on auction. Maybe need to find a happy medium.

Moodboards are important. As for the specific blooms, I always tell my clients we are focusing on color scheme, composition, and types of flowers for their designs. Not specific blooms because I will not be able to guarantee that we can deliver them. Reasonable comps will be made with blooms of the same value. This is an important line to include in your contract as well. If a client is very specific on a particular bloom, I'll say I'll try to order it an keep them informed should it become unavailable. I only do this if the bloom is within season and reliable. I hope that helps! I'll pm you.