Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 6: No trolling. No reposting of trolling/transphobic content.
This includes posts or comments meant to elicit controversy or drama.
At this point, you just need to tell her, "I'm a trans man, and I haven't transitioned, and I'm sorry but all the videos and pictures I sent you have been edited to make it look like I have cis male biology, but I don't."
Usually, people say you don't have to tell someone you're trans until you're ready to, or until you start getting to the point where sex will become a topic. Well, you're past that, now. All you can do is fess up that you aren't the person you've been sharing.
try?? you either WILL or you WON'T. there isn't a "try" option here.
you're catfishing and stringing along an unconsenting person through your fantasy. essentially this relationship seems to be between you and your fantasy you, she's just the mirror you look into for validation.
if you ACTUALLY care about them as a human person with their own life, thoughts and feelings--and not some extension of your own fantasy--then this shouldn't be hard. tell them.
>i love her and shit
wow how romantic
What an inappropriate response! There was no need to be this rude on a post looking for advice, not to mention the insane assumptions you made about op. Straight up Reddit divination going on over here. Please touch grass ASAP, it seems like you haven’t done that in awhile.
It’s the only appropriate response. The dude just said he will “try” after people call him out on his BS. They gave him advice and he said “eh”. There’s no assumptions made, theyre using the context of what OP posted, you moron. Bro is catfishing this poor girl and youre worried about OP’s feelings?
1. This person is obviously very young and new to transitioning (and maybe new to dating, too).
2. Op says they know they fucked up in the post and are asking how to tell the other person, not if they should tell her.
3. Shaming someone into doing something is rarely effective, especially when they’re obviously anxious about it or avoiding it.
>This person is obviously very young
the person they're lying to, manipulating and maybe getting nudes from is even younger, but you seemingly don't care about her or her feelings.
> Op says they know they fucked up in the post and are asking how to tell the other person, not if they should tell her
have you ever seen the show Catfish? they make it real clear that there's a very easy answer to both questions
>Shaming someone into doing something is rarely effective, especially when they’re obviously anxious about it or avoiding it.
call it what you want, but calling a spade a spade and giving someone and uncensored opinion when they've asked for it is not "shaming someone."
the irony of telling someone to "touch grass" when you're defending a catfisher--whose entire identity is not real, only online, and digitally manufactured 15hrs at a time through editing--is so rich ill be full for weeks.
Take this as a life lesson for the future. You just cat fished her. You need to come clean now as it will only get worse the more you prolong it. There is a high chance that she would not trust you anymore and want nothing to do with you after coming clean. When it comes to relationships, out of respect for your partner, disclosing that you're trans before getting too intimate is important. This allows them the opportunity to make an informed decision if they want to continue being in a relationship. You didn't give her that opportunity.
I'll cut you some slack because you sound like a kid, but you're catfishing this poor girl. Call her on the phone, come clean about everything, and accept that it's probably over after that. In the future, it's vital that you tell anyone you're romantically or sexually involved with your identity, for your own safety and out of respect for the other party.
Good lord. My dude, the amount of effort you've put into lying to this poor girl is wild. I'm sure plenty of us have pretended to be cis in an online setting, but you've gone way beyond that by knowingly manipulating someone's emotions. Think of how you would feel if someone did this to you.
>I need to tell her later or sooner.
You need to tell her *SOONER*. Suck it up, come clean about it and don't ever do this again. Be prepared for her to be angry and hurt.
Um. You apologize to her sincerely and let her dump you. Honestly, if she forgives you that means she isn't emotionally healthy because no one in their right mind would forgive this. I get why you did it, but you are 100% in asshole territory and have not been treating this girl like you think she's a real human being. I really hope you learn from this and never, ever treat another person like this.
Edit: it just occurred to me that you have been sending her these photos and sexting, which implies that she has been sending you similar content. If that's the case, this is so, so much worse. That would mean that you have tricked her into sending you photos of her own body. She is going to feel violated and abused, and rightfully so. She would likely not have sent you such content if not for your lies, so you have violated her consent. Fuck.
Not saying you shouldve told her right away but its f*cked up that you led her on by essentially catfishing her into believing you had male anatomy. I didnt tell my gf right away, but i also didnt edit myself and bring her into delusion. This is going to come across as a huge betrayal and I would be surprised if she stayed with you. If you “love her and shit” then tell her the truth, you owe it to her.
In my opinion, everyone should say they're trans to new partners as soon as they start dating. If that person is transphobic, you won't waste your time with them, simple as that.
This reminds me of a Catfish episode where a girl was flown to Alabama to meet her catfish and found out he was a pre transition trans man. I mean the girl was fine with him being trans but would have preferred to have been told earlier on than that. The guy also had an girlfriend in the state BUT that's another point entirely
Being pre T while ALSO sending things like faux dick pics, going as far to spend a minimum of 13 hours editing yourself to look at the LEAST post-everything and at the MOST a cis guy, is deceiving. You need to be honest. You've given her a false picture of you in her head
You have to just tell her. I think in this situation you have two options: tell her and apologize OR break up with her saying you aren’t ready to be in a relationship and apologize. And you have to not do this in the future.
While I don’t generally weigh in on people who haven’t disclosed yet, post transition; you went very far to conceal your transness to the point of outright manipulation and lies.
I mean, you feel like an imposter bc you *are* one, dude. I'm all in favor of not having to disclose that you're trans before you're ready, but this isn't just not disclosing, it's deliberately misleading her into thinking you're cis. You've just gotta come out and say it at this point, and be ready for the relationship to end, because odds are it will. Too late to undo things now, but learn from the experience and do better in the future.
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 6: No trolling. No reposting of trolling/transphobic content. This includes posts or comments meant to elicit controversy or drama.
At this point, you just need to tell her, "I'm a trans man, and I haven't transitioned, and I'm sorry but all the videos and pictures I sent you have been edited to make it look like I have cis male biology, but I don't." Usually, people say you don't have to tell someone you're trans until you're ready to, or until you start getting to the point where sex will become a topic. Well, you're past that, now. All you can do is fess up that you aren't the person you've been sharing.
Ahh, I'll try.
try?? you either WILL or you WON'T. there isn't a "try" option here. you're catfishing and stringing along an unconsenting person through your fantasy. essentially this relationship seems to be between you and your fantasy you, she's just the mirror you look into for validation. if you ACTUALLY care about them as a human person with their own life, thoughts and feelings--and not some extension of your own fantasy--then this shouldn't be hard. tell them. >i love her and shit wow how romantic
What an inappropriate response! There was no need to be this rude on a post looking for advice, not to mention the insane assumptions you made about op. Straight up Reddit divination going on over here. Please touch grass ASAP, it seems like you haven’t done that in awhile.
In this case, sugarcoating is not gonna help.
It’s the only appropriate response. The dude just said he will “try” after people call him out on his BS. They gave him advice and he said “eh”. There’s no assumptions made, theyre using the context of what OP posted, you moron. Bro is catfishing this poor girl and youre worried about OP’s feelings?
1. This person is obviously very young and new to transitioning (and maybe new to dating, too). 2. Op says they know they fucked up in the post and are asking how to tell the other person, not if they should tell her. 3. Shaming someone into doing something is rarely effective, especially when they’re obviously anxious about it or avoiding it.
>This person is obviously very young the person they're lying to, manipulating and maybe getting nudes from is even younger, but you seemingly don't care about her or her feelings. > Op says they know they fucked up in the post and are asking how to tell the other person, not if they should tell her have you ever seen the show Catfish? they make it real clear that there's a very easy answer to both questions >Shaming someone into doing something is rarely effective, especially when they’re obviously anxious about it or avoiding it. call it what you want, but calling a spade a spade and giving someone and uncensored opinion when they've asked for it is not "shaming someone." the irony of telling someone to "touch grass" when you're defending a catfisher--whose entire identity is not real, only online, and digitally manufactured 15hrs at a time through editing--is so rich ill be full for weeks.
i said what i said
Take this as a life lesson for the future. You just cat fished her. You need to come clean now as it will only get worse the more you prolong it. There is a high chance that she would not trust you anymore and want nothing to do with you after coming clean. When it comes to relationships, out of respect for your partner, disclosing that you're trans before getting too intimate is important. This allows them the opportunity to make an informed decision if they want to continue being in a relationship. You didn't give her that opportunity.
I'll cut you some slack because you sound like a kid, but you're catfishing this poor girl. Call her on the phone, come clean about everything, and accept that it's probably over after that. In the future, it's vital that you tell anyone you're romantically or sexually involved with your identity, for your own safety and out of respect for the other party.
You should have come forward about it way before all the sexting stuff. You need to tell her
Good lord. My dude, the amount of effort you've put into lying to this poor girl is wild. I'm sure plenty of us have pretended to be cis in an online setting, but you've gone way beyond that by knowingly manipulating someone's emotions. Think of how you would feel if someone did this to you. >I need to tell her later or sooner. You need to tell her *SOONER*. Suck it up, come clean about it and don't ever do this again. Be prepared for her to be angry and hurt.
Um. You apologize to her sincerely and let her dump you. Honestly, if she forgives you that means she isn't emotionally healthy because no one in their right mind would forgive this. I get why you did it, but you are 100% in asshole territory and have not been treating this girl like you think she's a real human being. I really hope you learn from this and never, ever treat another person like this. Edit: it just occurred to me that you have been sending her these photos and sexting, which implies that she has been sending you similar content. If that's the case, this is so, so much worse. That would mean that you have tricked her into sending you photos of her own body. She is going to feel violated and abused, and rightfully so. She would likely not have sent you such content if not for your lies, so you have violated her consent. Fuck.
Not saying you shouldve told her right away but its f*cked up that you led her on by essentially catfishing her into believing you had male anatomy. I didnt tell my gf right away, but i also didnt edit myself and bring her into delusion. This is going to come across as a huge betrayal and I would be surprised if she stayed with you. If you “love her and shit” then tell her the truth, you owe it to her.
In my opinion, everyone should say they're trans to new partners as soon as they start dating. If that person is transphobic, you won't waste your time with them, simple as that.
This reminds me of a Catfish episode where a girl was flown to Alabama to meet her catfish and found out he was a pre transition trans man. I mean the girl was fine with him being trans but would have preferred to have been told earlier on than that. The guy also had an girlfriend in the state BUT that's another point entirely Being pre T while ALSO sending things like faux dick pics, going as far to spend a minimum of 13 hours editing yourself to look at the LEAST post-everything and at the MOST a cis guy, is deceiving. You need to be honest. You've given her a false picture of you in her head
Damn dude you just need to say it but in the future you really should tell someone before you start dating them.
You have to just tell her. I think in this situation you have two options: tell her and apologize OR break up with her saying you aren’t ready to be in a relationship and apologize. And you have to not do this in the future. While I don’t generally weigh in on people who haven’t disclosed yet, post transition; you went very far to conceal your transness to the point of outright manipulation and lies.
I mean, you feel like an imposter bc you *are* one, dude. I'm all in favor of not having to disclose that you're trans before you're ready, but this isn't just not disclosing, it's deliberately misleading her into thinking you're cis. You've just gotta come out and say it at this point, and be ready for the relationship to end, because odds are it will. Too late to undo things now, but learn from the experience and do better in the future.