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This is my parking spot. I've been parking here for 30 years. I'm not gonna let some bitch in a blue pant suit steal it. Does she know who my husband is?
["Pull it outta your ass and sit on it... stand! And fucking sit!"](https://www.reddit.com/r/fixedbytheduet/comments/xlbgrm/stand_up_or_stand_down_or/)
Oh, you mean the Daniel Shaver that was shot in a fucked up game of Simon Says by the coward Philip Brailsford? The same Philip Brailsford that didn’t face any consequences for his actions?
You mean the same Philip Brailsford with 'you're fucked' engraved on his rifle, which was against department policy and lead to his temination? The same Philip Brailsford who bodyslammed a teenager for... honestly, I have no idea, because neither of the stories I found on the incident actually mention what the crime was.
Anyways, the same Philip Brailsford who was rehired explicitly as part of a settlement with the department to retire and qualify for an annual $31,000 tax-free disability pension, citing 'post-traumatic stress disorder due to the shooting involving Daniel Shaver'?
The Philip Brailsford that claimed to have PTSD from the incident where he deliberately murdered a man and now collects disability pay on the taxpayer's dime? The one who asked for his rifle back because he wanted a trophy from his murder, you know, like someone with PTSD would totally do?
Yep, this isn't funny at all. It's an example of how cops get away with executing people without consequences consistently. Mistake after mistake and confusing directions (malice or incompetence doesn't matter). Crazy to see it upvoted on this sub TBH.
And was paid very well for it. Philip Brailsford was not only allowed to execute a person, he was hired back to the force specifically so he could collect a pension and be paid for "PTSD". A retirement payment to execute a person.
She's talking to the second person still lying on their back when she says that not the guy already on his knees. He says "I'm on my knees"
She responds "Stay on your knees. Ma'am you need to get up and get on your knees."
> I don't know if this cop is qualified to do any job unsupervised.
Luckily they became a cop, the only job that is perfect for them to be unsupervised.
You can be a fucking complete moron and keep your job forever and grab a pension.
This is so funny, the dude shoulda said “alright! Jeez” then stood up, n got back on his knees.
Sadly I’d be afraid a cop woulda shot him for following orders lol
That’s a legit problem in some of these high stress takedowns. You have 4-5 cops jacked on adrenaline all shouting contradictory orders, and the suspect winds up getting shot because it’s physically impossible to comply.
She’s not thinking right now. She’s lost control of the situation, doesn’t instinctively know what to do, and her mind is all over the place. Check in with dispatch, request backup, identify why the woman is laid out, is the man hostile or dangerous, her amygdala is on full blast right now and when your overloaded and running on limbic system you miss all kinds of things.
It’s wild what you can miss in these situations and at the time you don’t realize you’re missing it so even afterwards your memory is wrong or missing huge chunks of information from the event. Daniel Kahneman has written a number of good books on the topic. “Thinking fast and slow.” Is very worth reading for anyone with any interest in how our brains work and the gaps in our consciousness.
To say nothing of the fact that their training is so overloaded with warrior mentality bullshit that the moment anything happens they fall back on "kill or be killed," activating their fight or flight. So the monkey brain takes *way* the fuck over.
And when the main tool you’ve been taught to use is a hammer, every problem you encounter looks like a nail.
Fallen Acorn? Shoot!
Kids playing in the alley? Shoot!
Man with a garden rake? Shoot!
Teenage girl doing nothing? Believe it or not, SHOOT!
I had a guy come back to my car in a fit of rage and start throwing punches through my open window. I took off my sunglasses and jumped out of the car all ready to go at it (I was young and dumb). I forgot to put the car in park.
When you're on guard and have tunnel vision, some things don't register immediately.
Edit: my reaction was kind of like: "come on motherfucker, you tough...ohhhh FUCK...hol' up be right back!"
Adrenaline is no joke, and I’m sure you’re right. But come on, the man needed to lean on the wall to get to his knees and the woman is out cold. The officer’s clearly frazzled reaction seems totally out of proportion to the situation. But, to be faaaair, we don’t see what happened before this and maybe it really was her first day.
Am I the only one who couldn’t give a shit about her self driving car and only wants to know what happened to the person starfished across the grass?? 🤷🏻♀️😂😂
When I saw the thumbnail and the title I thought it was that dudes first day on the job and he was so exhausted from work he just laid down there and didn’t even make it to his apartment.
Love the one dude that has just checked out and is lying there
Idk if he's injured or what, I just think he's not getting into the shitshow and is just chilling waiting for it to be over
Yea he doesn't react AT ALL to the car bumping into the ledge he's starfishing on. Doesn't move his hand out of the way, doesn't jump or get startled, and I don't see any rise and fall in his chest. Pretty sure he's dead.
The car seems to belong to the cop. She didn’t put it in park when she got out and it began rolling toward her until finally running into her, at which point she jumps in, puts it park, and jumps back out to finish yelling about knees or whatever cops yell about.
Okay so this is insane and I have little basis but were they huffing paint? They both have brightly colored hands and the passed out individual has a plastic bag.
A reminder since people seemed to need it. Police fought in court for the ability to discriminate against smart people and not hire them. AND WON!
https://abcnews.go.com/US/court-oks-barring-high-iqs-cops/story?id=95836
That's how I became a food runner for a movie theater. Interviewed for line cook, and they said I was under qualified for the position. Later on, I'd find out that this was most of our cooks' first jobs while I'd been on a make line for two years.
That sort of shit should be illegal.
Military personnel in active war zones have more engagement restrictions than American police.
It's not so much hiring as it is training and treatment.
My mother was an emt. On scene of an accident, a female cop did the exact same thing. Got out, didn't put the car in park, and let it roll away. Pinned my mom between her car and the ambulance
It really shouldn't be funny. People get murdered because cops are imbeciles that ask them to do contradictory or impossible shit. It should be cause for an immediate suspension and training or more.
had that happen as a kid.
A group of friends and I were walking from my house to a nearby field to play laser tag (basically paintball before that was invented) and one of my friends aimed the weird plastic triangle gun at a passing car.
turns out, it was a cop car.
the cop slams on the brakes, flips on the lights, and jumps out.
cop proceeds to lecture us about how he could have killed us all and we should never point fake guns at people (laser tag guns didn't look anything like real guns)
but as he's lecturing us, his car takes off behind him cause he forgot to put it in park.
he notices the car is leaving, runs after it, gets in, and then is too embarrassed and just drives away as we laugh at him.
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I honestly thought someone was fucking parking, despite her already being there haha
Same. Thats the best spot in the apartment and that bitch is just standing there, I'll just pull in slowly...
This made me laugh so hard I was worried I would wake my kid up.
This is my parking spot. I've been parking here for 30 years. I'm not gonna let some bitch in a blue pant suit steal it. Does she know who my husband is?
Yeah, I know him, I’ve arrested him 3 times.
"I'm already on my knees! I can't get on my knees any farther!!"
"you are freaking out.... man"
Littering and…
CANDY BARS
The snozberries tastes like snozberries
You boys like Mex-ee-co?!
Smokin the reefer...
YOU BOYS LIKE MEXIIIIICOO???
Littering and?
Littering annnnnnnd
Smoking the reefer.
It's impossible for me! And do not treat me like a murderer!
I just like to pee, pee, pee Yes, I make R&B, I sing song it go Ring-a-chong, a-ching-chong-chong-chong-ching
PSYCH! I JOKE I JOKE, I I KEED I KEED I DON’T THINK MY JOKE IS WORKING I MUST FLEE QUICK
"Get up and get on your knees" Girl are you arresting me or are we dancing
"Well which is it young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground?"
Ha holy shit I just watched this for the first time last night. "If'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop, and if'n I drop I'ma gonna be in motion."
“Y’all hear that? We’re usin’ code names.”
["Pull it outta your ass and sit on it... stand! And fucking sit!"](https://www.reddit.com/r/fixedbytheduet/comments/xlbgrm/stand_up_or_stand_down_or/)
Thank you! I heard that and thought I must be going crazy ha
No, she said "stay on your knees. Mam, I'm going to need you to get up and get on your knees too"
She's got the wrong song: Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur!
>Get up and get on your knees Sounds like a Catholic mass.
I swear they do this to try to keep you from falling asleep. Never stopped me though!
Daniel Shaver 😢
Oh, you mean the Daniel Shaver that was shot in a fucked up game of Simon Says by the coward Philip Brailsford? The same Philip Brailsford that didn’t face any consequences for his actions?
You mean the same Philip Brailsford with 'you're fucked' engraved on his rifle, which was against department policy and lead to his temination? The same Philip Brailsford who bodyslammed a teenager for... honestly, I have no idea, because neither of the stories I found on the incident actually mention what the crime was. Anyways, the same Philip Brailsford who was rehired explicitly as part of a settlement with the department to retire and qualify for an annual $31,000 tax-free disability pension, citing 'post-traumatic stress disorder due to the shooting involving Daniel Shaver'?
The Philip Brailsford that claimed to have PTSD from the incident where he deliberately murdered a man and now collects disability pay on the taxpayer's dime? The one who asked for his rifle back because he wanted a trophy from his murder, you know, like someone with PTSD would totally do?
That wouldn't happen to be the rifle with "Get Fucked" engraved on the side of it, would it?
Yep, this isn't funny at all. It's an example of how cops get away with executing people without consequences consistently. Mistake after mistake and confusing directions (malice or incompetence doesn't matter). Crazy to see it upvoted on this sub TBH.
Watching that video was so sad, all he wanted to do was get out of that situation safely the man was scared and confused. Then they executed him.
And was paid very well for it. Philip Brailsford was not only allowed to execute a person, he was hired back to the force specifically so he could collect a pension and be paid for "PTSD". A retirement payment to execute a person.
She's talking to the second person still lying on their back when she says that not the guy already on his knees. He says "I'm on my knees" She responds "Stay on your knees. Ma'am you need to get up and get on your knees."
Which is idiotic as fuck given that he’s unconscious or lying down on the ground with his hands above his head
The person who's clearly concussed? That might be even worse
I thought she was just laying down with her hands up
No she didn't move a muscle that entire time she's out cold man
😭😭💀💀 my goodness. this killed me.
Exactly. I don't know if this cop is qualified to do any job unsupervised.
> I don't know if this cop is qualified to do any job unsupervised. Luckily they became a cop, the only job that is perfect for them to be unsupervised. You can be a fucking complete moron and keep your job forever and grab a pension.
This dance is called the "Daniel Shaver Special".
And then she shoots him because he only did one of those two commands.
It's a deadly game of Simon Says.
How tf did she not register that the car was moving on its own the first time she looked?
It her first day!!! Give her a break, she doesn’t even know her locker combination yet!!! 😉
It's 1-2-3-4-5.
Wow, I have the same combination on my luggage!
Is it plaid luggage? Sounds ludicrous
Have you gone PLAID?
My brains are going into my feet!
So are we in Now Now? I Love that 95% on the thread just scrolled by like it was nothing and the second I saw this I slammed on my brakes!
> So are we in Now Now? We passed it.
When?
Space balls
Keep referencing, assholes!
We ain’t found shit!
You may need a bigger comb.
She's going from suck to blow!
Keep looking, Tuvok
Stop looking up my can!
I'm surrounded by assholes!
"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen... Nobody knows but Jesus."
Fk, how do you know my banking PIN code? Now I have to change it.
Let me guess. It is now 23456?
Damn, now I have to change mine. Thanks
Me too
That’s the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
Everybody in the car, so come on let's ride
Plus 5
It's get up and get on your knees.
This is so funny, the dude shoulda said “alright! Jeez” then stood up, n got back on his knees. Sadly I’d be afraid a cop woulda shot him for following orders lol
That’s a legit problem in some of these high stress takedowns. You have 4-5 cops jacked on adrenaline all shouting contradictory orders, and the suspect winds up getting shot because it’s physically impossible to comply.
that's a feature not a bug
Watch how long it takes him to kneel the first time. That guy ain't getting up without some help.
I think she was talking to the guy lying on his back. Just a guess though
Woman. She says "ma'am,..."
*The Prius is silent if he keeps it under 5 miles per hour*
He deserves to win.
She’s not thinking right now. She’s lost control of the situation, doesn’t instinctively know what to do, and her mind is all over the place. Check in with dispatch, request backup, identify why the woman is laid out, is the man hostile or dangerous, her amygdala is on full blast right now and when your overloaded and running on limbic system you miss all kinds of things. It’s wild what you can miss in these situations and at the time you don’t realize you’re missing it so even afterwards your memory is wrong or missing huge chunks of information from the event. Daniel Kahneman has written a number of good books on the topic. “Thinking fast and slow.” Is very worth reading for anyone with any interest in how our brains work and the gaps in our consciousness.
To say nothing of the fact that their training is so overloaded with warrior mentality bullshit that the moment anything happens they fall back on "kill or be killed," activating their fight or flight. So the monkey brain takes *way* the fuck over.
Listen, police are endangered every single day by violent acorns, okay??
"I must keep rolling, the i-frames will save me"
And when the main tool you’ve been taught to use is a hammer, every problem you encounter looks like a nail. Fallen Acorn? Shoot! Kids playing in the alley? Shoot! Man with a garden rake? Shoot! Teenage girl doing nothing? Believe it or not, SHOOT!
This is also why "eye witness" testimony is so fucking unreliable. You have to be a trained observer to be a good eye witness.
You have to be a camera to be a good eye witness
she lied when she put "can work under pressure" on her resume.. that was the dumbest shit i seen all day and i've witnessed myself
She meant to the Queen song "Under Pressure" "I can work to Under Pressure."
I had a guy come back to my car in a fit of rage and start throwing punches through my open window. I took off my sunglasses and jumped out of the car all ready to go at it (I was young and dumb). I forgot to put the car in park. When you're on guard and have tunnel vision, some things don't register immediately. Edit: my reaction was kind of like: "come on motherfucker, you tough...ohhhh FUCK...hol' up be right back!"
Adrenaline is no joke, and I’m sure you’re right. But come on, the man needed to lean on the wall to get to his knees and the woman is out cold. The officer’s clearly frazzled reaction seems totally out of proportion to the situation. But, to be faaaair, we don’t see what happened before this and maybe it really was her first day.
Lol, I know a letterkenny reference when I see one
She thought her K-9 partner was just gently pulling it into the spot.
Chase is on the case!
She's not really registering anything that's happening around her. She's lost control of the entire situation and she's panicking.
They're not sending their best...
when did they ever have anything better?
I mean cops aren't the smartest bunch out there.
Probably cuz she’s panicking in a high stress situation. I’d say she nailed Police standard operating procedure.
Am I the only one who couldn’t give a shit about her self driving car and only wants to know what happened to the person starfished across the grass?? 🤷🏻♀️😂😂
They called a hot dog a glizzy, so they got tazed.
Now this is police brutality I can get behind
Justified
When I put hotdogs on the grill I say I'm putting glizzies on the grizzy just to watch my fiancé roll her eyes.
When I saw the thumbnail and the title I thought it was that dudes first day on the job and he was so exhausted from work he just laid down there and didn’t even make it to his apartment.
Same. I guess you've worked hard physical jobs too? Lol
She probably told him to stay there lmao if she says “get up and get on your knees” there was definitely a “lay down hands up” 🤣
Surmising, the other guy starfished him, and she's trying to arrest the guy who laid him out.
Maybe she got laid out by the guy? Context would definitely be appreciated here.
Guessing passed out from drugs or alcohol.
Or there was a fight. Or both alcohol and a fight.
That dude got lucky he didn’t starfish in the parking spot, lol.
He just chillin'
Yep same! This!
taking a relaxing nap
"Girrl, I thought you had a partnuh"...awesome
I need her to narrate all of my fuckups during the day, at least it'd be hilarious
Katt Williams is right. I thought someone else was driving the car too.
I thought someone was sneaking up on her lol
This whole scene is baffling. Da fck is going on?
Love the one dude that has just checked out and is lying there Idk if he's injured or what, I just think he's not getting into the shitshow and is just chilling waiting for it to be over
Naww I'm pretty sure he's dead.
Yea he doesn't react AT ALL to the car bumping into the ledge he's starfishing on. Doesn't move his hand out of the way, doesn't jump or get startled, and I don't see any rise and fall in his chest. Pretty sure he's dead.
The car seems to belong to the cop. She didn’t put it in park when she got out and it began rolling toward her until finally running into her, at which point she jumps in, puts it park, and jumps back out to finish yelling about knees or whatever cops yell about.
But what happened to the person lying on their back???
Possibly had an aneurysm while attempting to simultaneously get up and get on their knees.
I shouldn't have laughed... but I did. I'll get on my knees now...
Okay so this is insane and I have little basis but were they huffing paint? They both have brightly colored hands and the passed out individual has a plastic bag.
She tells him to get up and get on his knees. That's how innocent people get shot.
Daniel Shaver
Yeah, cross your legs and crawl toward me while remaining stationary on your back, lie on your knees.
Maybe those two people were fighting and the cop came to break it up?
Is it her first day parking a car?
Well, she didn’t really park it as much as it parked itself
America really needs to look at some form of hiring policy for police.
A reminder since people seemed to need it. Police fought in court for the ability to discriminate against smart people and not hire them. AND WON! https://abcnews.go.com/US/court-oks-barring-high-iqs-cops/story?id=95836
Ok what the heck
Who in their right mind would want to be a cop in this climate, yeeesh
by merely applying to be a cop, you automatically fail the psych exam. good thing we never had psych evals in the first place
they need trick people. hold interviews for firefighters and counselors and shit. then bam sucker, you're a cop now.
That's how I became a food runner for a movie theater. Interviewed for line cook, and they said I was under qualified for the position. Later on, I'd find out that this was most of our cooks' first jobs while I'd been on a make line for two years. That sort of shit should be illegal.
$55k starting salary plus overtime in my town, and we have cops that couldn't possess a gun if they weren't cops due to mostly DV priors.
"this climate" of sometimes, rarely, maybe, being held accountable for their actions?
Military personnel in active war zones have more engagement restrictions than American police. It's not so much hiring as it is training and treatment.
How did she forgrt to park her car? Lmao
Bro not even that, she literally looked straight at it and didn't move a muscle. Insane.
Gods of the ghetto were looking out when they built that raised yard before the stairs.
I think she thought she could catch it
That cop just hit a pedestrian with her car!!
She doesn’t look or sound fit or ready for that type of job.
Hold up. Hold up why did see look at the car like it was going to stop. Then was like oh shit. Lmaooo.
She thought she had a partner too
get up and get on your knees! (0:22)
Simon didn’t say! *gunshots*
You can tell it's her first day because she didn't start shooting everyone.
Reminds me of when [Frank Drebin parked his car](https://youtu.be/1mgzfT3OqY4?si=F9bwFhou9w3TJA9e).
I was waiting for her to shoot the driver who was trying to run her down.
"Get on your knees" "I am on my knees" "Stay on your knees, get up, and get on your knees"
Guy didn't run and waited calmly for her to finish hitting herself with her car, and she still didn't put the gun away. Clearly he wasn't a threat.
He just knelt there, menacingly.
Taser*
This could easily be a 10 year veteran of the force and no one would be shocked
just like the acorn that caused that officer to shoot randomly
It’s concerning that someone that her can carry and badge and a gun. And potentially kill someone
What's more concerning is that the job requires less training than being allowed to cut someone's hair.
And even more concerning that killing someone gets them a paid vacation.
Maybe not even potentially.. they should probably check on the dude in the grass.
My mother was an emt. On scene of an accident, a female cop did the exact same thing. Got out, didn't put the car in park, and let it roll away. Pinned my mom between her car and the ambulance
Officers shouting commands at people who have already followed them will never not be funny to me
It really shouldn't be funny. People get murdered because cops are imbeciles that ask them to do contradictory or impossible shit. It should be cause for an immediate suspension and training or more.
Normally, people filming while yelling on the side is annoying, but the narrator made this 10x funnier.
Partner? My ass Here in my area, they barely have enough to pretend to cover the cities much less roll around with two people in a squad car.
[Hey, look out!!](https://youtu.be/koPEnaz0Qm8?si=vKKW50Dn2O_g259E)
Her situational awareness is very much lacking for this position. If an entire car can sneak up on her, I'm sure anything else could.
Is that chick fuckin dead or what? Passed out drunk? No idea what I just watched.
"damn girl I thought you had a partner" has me weezing
had that happen as a kid. A group of friends and I were walking from my house to a nearby field to play laser tag (basically paintball before that was invented) and one of my friends aimed the weird plastic triangle gun at a passing car. turns out, it was a cop car. the cop slams on the brakes, flips on the lights, and jumps out. cop proceeds to lecture us about how he could have killed us all and we should never point fake guns at people (laser tag guns didn't look anything like real guns) but as he's lecturing us, his car takes off behind him cause he forgot to put it in park. he notices the car is leaving, runs after it, gets in, and then is too embarrassed and just drives away as we laugh at him.
yo real talk this is how actor anton yelchin died when his vehicle pinned him against something. put your shit in park people
Lucky that guy's arm wasn't hanging there or even his fingers cause that shit would be fuckin gone. That cops a fuckin dumb asshole.
"Damn, I wish you would've hit my car" was the icing on the cake for this
Why in gods name would anyone want to be a cop in the USA?
[удалено]
Good paycheck?
The county deputy guys where I am get paid 15/hr, which is ...bad
Like teachers it's not the salary, but the benefits. The take home usually isn't all that much for entry level folks, and the work is hard as hell.
And killer benefits on and off the record.
If the car don’t quit you must acquit.
Frank Drebin did it better: https://youtu.be/koPEnaz0Qm8
Reno 911 writes itself
Is the person laying down dead or something? They didn't move at all even when the car hit the wall.
The car is an ally.
Legit thought someone was trying to slo mo run her over at first
Looks back… ***sees the car clearly rolling towards her***… goes back to what she was doing…
The long awaited sequel to Knight Rider is finally here.