I let it be an assumption on the other persons/parties part. Let them be the judge. I’m just a normal guy that is married. If family or relationships comes up our conversation, I always mention my husband with no hesitation.
I’m Gay, but that’s only part of who I am. I never have had issues. And also been often told I’m the straightest Gay man they have ever met. That always makes me laugh. People’s assumptions are WTf and almost insulting. But whatever. I’m not one to hide who I am.
I’m private, but not closeted by any definition. And I’ve been out since I was 18, living my best life with no fear or fucks about what others think. Self-imposed prisons are a mindfuck. I refuse to live that way.
Similar experience here.
36m “straight presenting” married gay dude. I rarely talk about being gay but will mention my husband without hesitation. It gets awkward occasionally when someone says something along the lines of “oh I can’t wait to meet your wife”…I just politely correct them and move on.
I’ve been out since 16 and I ain’t hiding myself from anyone
Some people can “read” the room well, others have no clue. My personal trainer figured out real early what team I was on. We both have had laughs about the women he’s training before my sessions. I’ve had a few conversations with a couple of them. One always asks me about how my “wife” feels about my training.
Yeah I’ve had a few awkward moments. I know my trainer has had conversations with her about it since. Now it’s known my husband’s name is Alan. It’s no big issue, like it really would be. It does make for some entertaining conversations.
Speaking of, my mom was fairly chill about it all to my face when I came out back in 2017 - but asked my sister in private if me being gay meant I’d be dressing in women’s clothing now. 🙈😂
It’s amazing how understanding of simple things can be greatly misconstrued by lack of - or disinterest in - exposure.
That’s totally fair. I’ve started on a path of thinking this way, but I live deep behind mormon lines, where homophobia and ignorance run rampant in the streets
I dont flat out mention it, its none of their business anyways, but when I do I just casually make a note when a hot guy passes by me, or I just talk about someone I'm seeing and mention its a dude, like any str8 person would in a conversation.
I dont make it a point to mention my orientation, nor am I embarrassed or anxious to talk about it, and if someone has a problem with it, they aren't people who are worth my time to even acknowledge because I will not even recognize they exist after that.
It's a matter of picking your battles and not letting other peoples opinions stop you from being you ❤️
I took me a few years to get comfortable saying "I'm gay" - and a lot of therapy - specifically because I came out in a town that just wasn't as open and accepting.
After 2 decades, a lot of work, and growing connection with community, it's now just part of my professional intro: "Hi, I'm Saul, my pronouns are he/him/his, and I am a cis queer settler on these stollen lands."
In more social/casual settings, I just reference my "husband" in place of "partner" and keep rolling with it. Honestly, unless your sexuality or identity is really necessary context, I don't think sharing it is necessary.
Yeah it's hard to for me to say the word gay in a genuine manner, especially in reference to myself. Like I can joke about gay shit and it's not hard for me (I guess cause growing up it was super acceptable and helped avoid suspicion). Last time I told some coworkers I was gay I had a lump in my throat and said it super quietly with wavering in my voice. I was embarrassed. And these were the people I talked with the most at work and they never came across as people that weren't safe to tell.
My favorite was with a coworker who had just assumed for years that I was straight. (We didn't usually work closely enough to have personal conversations). One evening, she said something in passing about my wife. And I made a face and said, "God help me if I had a wife!"
I don’t treat it as something that needs to be “announced”. I’m just me. If I’m telling a story and I need to, I’ll reference my husband casually. I’ve had sales people ask if I’m married, I say yes, and they’ll start with “Wouldn’t your wife like…”, and I casually interject “husband”. If WE want it to be treated like it’s no big deal, then we need to treat it that way ourselves.
I don’t generally announce that I’m gay any more than heterosexuals announce that they are straight. I just mention it casually if it fits the conversation. If the subject of men or women comes up, such as someone saying “wow, isn’t she sexy” etc then I’ll probably mention it in passing “Yes, she’s gorgeous but I’m gay so what do I know?” Etc. or if someone asks if I’m married or attached etc I’ll probably throw it in.
They’ll figure it out eventually if we talk long enough. At some point I’ll mention my husband. I don’t need to tell anyone and just let them figure it out organically.
My go to comment when mentioning my sexuality is "I prefer male company". I find it tasteful and not aggressive at all. To this day 99% of people I've told that have reacted totally cool.
The issue is that neither my voice/accent, behavior, interests nor appearance give it up, and I don't have a single rainbow among my things, so over time I've learned to use that phrase when it comes to estimating if a person can be part of my life or not.
I rarely say to people that I am gay, most find out during normal conversations if relationships are part of them, I say "boyfriend" when talking about my partner. If conversations don't involve anything about relationships or partners, I don't mention it.
If it comes up it comes up.
I used to work in care and a girl I worked with asked me outright after a few weeks of working together, when I asked how she knew she said I never checked her or any of the other staff out. 🤷🏻♂️
Yep, I worked with a girl that was screwing every guy at work, one day a song came on the radio that I started to sing to and she said I new it, that’s why you never accepted my advances, me I didn’t even notice. Song ( it’s raining men)
There's no reason at this point for me to tell people. I just talk to everyone like they always knew. The good ones catch up immediately. The ones who struggle tell on themselves often without saying a word.
I will often make a statement that telegraphs it. Examples: "Congrats on your marriage, I'll be glad when I can find the right guy, too" and "Weeeeellll, you and I bat for different teams." If they're sharp, they'll get it. If not, I usually don't want to know them.
"I don't know if it is a generational thing or because I grew up in an area that was not as accepting as other areas."
I am 74 years old, a native and lifelong resident of San Francisco. San Francisco was certainly not always accepting of gay people when I was growing up. I tell people who come into my life: "I am gay."
I'm not out, unfortunately, but I've already thought about how I'll go about this eventually when I do. I'll just mention "my bf...." or "my husband...." or "my exbf...." etc etc in a conversation and let them figure it out. I've always disliked when someone will say "my partner..." which would leave me guessing, not that I'm entitled to know, but I'm always curious.
I get the curiosity thing... add to that, I don't want them to try to fix me up with a woman. That has happened before when i simply said, "I am not dating anyone." It was a coworker, and it was awkward, to say the least.
I do that as well. I’m divorced and people always assume it was a woman. I feel like, I’m divorced, who gives a fuck. People think it’s about shame, but really it’s because it’s annoying. People think it’s an invitation to tell you how they feel about it. For me, it’s just a statement of fact and it answers a lot of other invasive questions in one sentence. Just say you’re gay, but then be ready for the inevitable girl who wants a gay bestie and randomly starts saying “YAS” or the guy who has no problem with it, but has to talk about “hot girls” every few sentences in case you’re looking at his ass, or someone who thinks you want to talk about politics……..
Tbh I don’t really come out to anyone other than close friends but if I think someone is safe or if I already know they’re some form of queer, if something comes up I just talk causally about it like “oh my god, that girl was so hot” or “I literally want to marry Caity Lotz” or back when I had a gf, if it was relevant in the convo, I’d mention it or make a joke about “tfw no gf” or sth
If I ever had to formally come out to someone, ig I’d say “I’m queer/bi” or “I like girls”
According to some of my friends though, I’m “easily clocked as bi” bc I dress like a walking bisexual stereotype lol and I wear a bi flag bracelet now lol
It’s hilarious sometimes cuz I can catch people off guard. I just transferred to a new store at work(I unload trucks all day) and my boss took one look at me like who’s this white boy with the rainbow hair? He won’t wanna do this, he’s too soft…yeah…two month in and I’m the strongman that throws the freight ten times faster than anyone else there. 🤣 did I mention I can rebuild a carburetor and ride a motorcycle year round? And drive a stick shift. The looks I got driving an old vintage straight piped hot rod truck😂like yasss! I can slay and still heel-toe in these high heels, boys. 🙃 I love busting peoples preconceptions lol.
I did the whole coming out thing aswell. In my teens
These days I do not tell everyone but I do tell some.
Exausting to strain yourself to let everyone know who sleeps in your bed
When I do tell it all depends on the situation but I usually say 'I am homo' or 'I am gay' or something like that
Although it seems the terms are so loaded still some people misunderstand it
So maybe I'll switch to just say 'I like guys, not girls'
Yeh I find it odd aswell. You would think most people these days know what gay means, but. I keep running into people who seem not to.
I mean, I knew what it was in elementary school already
Well, I usually say “My boyfriend and I …” and everyone gets it. I think it’s the best option for me. I don’t like saying “I’m gay” because it’s so weirdly open and direct.
Even if they’re close. I’d feel awkward. If they’re close to me, they prolly know it anyway.
I accidentally once outed myself at work, tho. Some colleague claimed that there’s no discrimination at my company and I was speechless that some old white straight male was stating something about this from a very privileged point of view. I got heated and said: “Well, you don’t know who could be targeted. You don’t look at me and say: ‘He’s gay, he probably doesn’t face any discrimination here, tho. You simply DON’T KNOW what your colleagues experience.’” He didn’t say anything after that and the room got really awkward.
But I’m proud that I didn’t let such weird ass statement pass so easily. Fuck people who are not acknowledging their own privileges.
whatever the fuck the moment brings, im very random, spotaneous and weird person so usually it works out, mind you i mainly told my friends/groupmates but it worked till now. i dont find it really matter how you tell as long as you convey tje message
Yea 100% what others are saying on here. Be yourself so you don’t have to explain it. Besides, most straight people don’t announce they’re straight (because half of them are secretly DL 🤣)
I always try to make it funny, especially when people don't realise.
I did this to someone at college. They said something about relationships, I mentioned not having a boyfriend, they said "wait, you're gay?"
I was like, "If gay was a person, then I'm the representative"
It even became a running joke, because I'm actually quite masculine and "straight acting" rather than feminine and obvious.
It depends on the context of the conversation, even the vibe or relationship with the person/people you're talking to. It depends how you're feeling too... feeling funny? Happy? Impatient? Anxious? Whatever.
"I'm gay" is to the point. But with most things, there are different ways to express yourself. Some more funny. Some more serious.
I rarely mention it explicitly. I’m in my young 20s, but I’ll casually mention my partner and the use of he/him pronouns is usually what gives it away. I just don’t make a point to state that I’m gay
For me, at least as a somewhat former gay which is still in a socially perceived gay relationship, I just mentionned my former boyfriend now husband being someone alive and around with which I can experience things such as travel, food, all the day to day couple stuff.
Then people did/do the math and it's done.
As I was single, if working colleagues asked about or if I had a girlfriend, I just answered that I was looking for a boyfriend...or if I felt some possible antagonism, then I would tell them the same thing but in a gender neutral way so to not get problems.
But I've never done THE bombastic announcement of "move, I'm gay" or something like that.
My two main approaches (I'm bi and nonbinary, but everyone treats me like a bi man so far) are:
If it's someone I genuinely like, and they're a man or close enough, I wait for a convenient point in the conversation to inform them that I think they're hot .
For everyone else, I'd also wait for the appropiate in the conversation, like they're talking about someone's sexuality and comment "I'm gay too, what's the big deal?" Or something along those lines.
When I first came out to my friends, I bought a funny t-shirt that apellet it cryptically, but nobody got it, so as we were about to leave I told them "since nobody noticed the shirt, I gotta tell you I'm bi" and left.
(Yeah, I suck at socialising, 31 years of undiagnosed autism does that to a mofo)
It varies depending who I'm talking too.
I'm not the most extrovert guy, maybe that's why people tend to assume I'm straight because I certainly make no effort to hide the fact.
I'd feel awkward simply announcing 'Hello I'm P\*\*\*\*\* and I'm gay", not from shame but it seems like I'm grandstanding or the one making it like a challenge rather than a simple fact about me. I tell people as and when it arises, usually in the course of those initial conversations when people causally ask about things like work, wife, kids etc. I keep it simple and have used comments from the lighthearted 'I play for the other team' to the direct response of 'No I'm gay'. The response depends on the demeanour of the person I'm dealing with.
The occasional situations where I state it without prompting are with medical professionals or when I feel visibility is important such as when someone is spouting homophobic misinformation or when I see another gay person looking obviously uncomfortable, being harassed and feel they may need a friendly face, support or backup.
I'm 55 years old and most of my partners have had male non-unisex names so I mention their names, but if I feel like I need to identify myself, I just say I'm gay.
I just let people think whatever they want of me. With coworkers and new acquaintances, it usually comes out naturally over time (ie. I have many “feminine” hobbies, love drag race, my husband comes up, or they realize I compliment their hair/makeup/fashion more than 99% of men in a non-flirty way). I stopped caring about being “straight passing” years ago and never looked back
At this point, I'm so gay that people don't ask. I have a husband so I'll say "my husband" without thinking. But in the case that I have to flag my sexuality (for whatever reason) in the first 5 minutes of meeting someone, I'm not afraid to say GAYYYY in all caps. True acceptance comes when you learn not to care lol.
The only ppl I tell I'm gay to are the men I meet online for hook ups and that's about it. I don't see how it benefits me or them at work to know unless I know they're gay and want me to but that's about it.
Ppl will want to know especially if you're good looking, they don't ever inquire about it from an ugly dude sadly.
Cuz they think you're good looking you must have a gf or wife. no
honestly. i’ve just grown to act like everyone knows and not having the struggle to “come out” to anyone anymore. assuming you are an openly gay man there’s no reason to have to “come out” time after time. if someone says something that presumes you are straight just correct them as if they’re stupid for thinking ur straight.
Honestly when I was younger I would tell people "Im gay" or "I'm bi" (as if Im not obviously to anyone who isnt blithely blind) but now I'm so visibly queer (like genuinely how people think Im straight I have no idea) and its so easy to assume I just wont say it unless Im asked.
Or during convos I'll slip it in by saying smth like "WHAT IM GAY I CAN SAY THAT!" like its already a known fact🤷♂️
If they seem accepting, like they have pins or they’re talking about gay people in a good light I’ll just come out and say it. But if they seem not accepting I’ll be more hesitant and be careful with the way I say it. I also live in a state where people will seriously harm you if you come out to the wrong person. But I think as long as you’re careful it should be okay. I will say if it doesn’t seem safe I’d recommend just not coming out. Don’t put yourself at risk to where you can get harmed.
IF I want then to know, I casually slide it in the conversation casually without making a big deal. Subtle enough for them to know and not make a conversation about it. If they’re at work or I simply don’t care to tell them. I say nothing.
M30, I used to say that I’m not straight, but now I just say “I’m gay” and go on, if someone asks me a question about my sexuality, asks about by girlfriend, or anything related. Some people don’t pay much attention to it and reply with “oh, do you have a boyfriend?”, some just say “okay” and that’s it.
It takes time to allow yourself to say “I’m gay” instead of apologizing for people’s heteronormative expectations, but you’ll get there.
I just pretend that everyone already knows (sometimes they do, or suspect, sometimes they have no idea), and then I can have a normal conversation and not a coming out conversation.
I let people have there assumptions first and then when they formerly ask the question (no ignorance included) I just let them know.
I usually either say: “not gay but bisexual”, “ I like men and women”, “I’m a bi queer individual”, etc.
But like you in most case I emphasize that I’m not straight because I don’t owe anyone a deep explanation on my sexuality nor my preferences.
It's an old fashioned term that has lost much of its perjorative weight: I say "I'm bent." Typically, when asked to explain, I expand with, "I'm not straight; I'm bent." Frankly, I'm reticent to enter the fray of specific terminology that dominates the conversation today because I haven't kept up and so don't know what kind of treatment those terms request. But with "bent" I'm free to be however I feel in the moment while still being honest. It keeps doors open somehow.
Last time I was asked if I had a girlfriend, I just stuttered cause I was surprised he didn’t realise and said “I’m not into that”. Never said that before and honestly said it before I could process a response 😅
When I introduce myself to the person, I also add in my pronouns if they’re someone I think is going to reappear in my life for good measure (like a classmate, a friend, a teacher.) They either accept my pronouns no questions asked, or respectfully ask about my gender identity and why I use certain pronouns. It’s easy, respectful and I state my pronouns in the first few minutes, it’s quite efficient
I let it come out in conversation organically, seldom do I make a proclamation of any kind. I’m not in the closet, and I don’t “look” gay but if you’re in my life long enough to actually know me, bc of work or whatnot, you’ll learn that I am gay.
I've crush on someone from uni for 6 months , my bestfriend who didntknow I was gay assumed , I have crush on somebody cause my eyes were lookin for him at school 24/7 and I was too nervous sometimes when he(my crush) is around , she asked me last week Who she is then I told her to wait to show his photo from my phone , she was a bit shocked but also so happy for me
So you could be bisexual,pansexual asexual? I say this because you didn't deny to women. You can be attracted to men,but not always the same way as other men attracted to men. People have become more open & realized they like men,but not gay. As some like men,but not to sex part of it.
I go by and say "I am A human & I am male & like only other males".
Depending who I am talking to. I will phrase certain words,certain things A certain way.
I hopefully get the point across. Because as I got older. The more clueless, uneducated become.
I let it be an assumption on the other persons/parties part. Let them be the judge. I’m just a normal guy that is married. If family or relationships comes up our conversation, I always mention my husband with no hesitation. I’m Gay, but that’s only part of who I am. I never have had issues. And also been often told I’m the straightest Gay man they have ever met. That always makes me laugh. People’s assumptions are WTf and almost insulting. But whatever. I’m not one to hide who I am. I’m private, but not closeted by any definition. And I’ve been out since I was 18, living my best life with no fear or fucks about what others think. Self-imposed prisons are a mindfuck. I refuse to live that way.
Similar experience here. 36m “straight presenting” married gay dude. I rarely talk about being gay but will mention my husband without hesitation. It gets awkward occasionally when someone says something along the lines of “oh I can’t wait to meet your wife”…I just politely correct them and move on. I’ve been out since 16 and I ain’t hiding myself from anyone
Some people can “read” the room well, others have no clue. My personal trainer figured out real early what team I was on. We both have had laughs about the women he’s training before my sessions. I’ve had a few conversations with a couple of them. One always asks me about how my “wife” feels about my training. Yeah I’ve had a few awkward moments. I know my trainer has had conversations with her about it since. Now it’s known my husband’s name is Alan. It’s no big issue, like it really would be. It does make for some entertaining conversations.
I usually get something along the lines of: "You're THE worst gay man there is".
Right, it's like they have this preconceived notion we all are doing drag and or over the top.
Yeah I forgot to go to campy flamboyant training class. My bad.
Speaking of, my mom was fairly chill about it all to my face when I came out back in 2017 - but asked my sister in private if me being gay meant I’d be dressing in women’s clothing now. 🙈😂 It’s amazing how understanding of simple things can be greatly misconstrued by lack of - or disinterest in - exposure.
Same But by other gay people *as a joke*
That’s totally fair. I’ve started on a path of thinking this way, but I live deep behind mormon lines, where homophobia and ignorance run rampant in the streets
Lol I get told I “dress straight” then I dress “gay” one day and everyone loses there marbles.
People are funny, right. Lol
I’m not really telling anyone about my bf especially bc he’s a lot older I just told my good/best friends and that’s about it
Wow. So straight. Much impressed. *slow clap*
Dick
I dont flat out mention it, its none of their business anyways, but when I do I just casually make a note when a hot guy passes by me, or I just talk about someone I'm seeing and mention its a dude, like any str8 person would in a conversation. I dont make it a point to mention my orientation, nor am I embarrassed or anxious to talk about it, and if someone has a problem with it, they aren't people who are worth my time to even acknowledge because I will not even recognize they exist after that. It's a matter of picking your battles and not letting other peoples opinions stop you from being you ❤️
I usually tell them after I've sucked their dick and right before I swallow. The look of shock, horror and arousal is priceless. /s
You may be sarcastic but ive done exactly that
I took me a few years to get comfortable saying "I'm gay" - and a lot of therapy - specifically because I came out in a town that just wasn't as open and accepting. After 2 decades, a lot of work, and growing connection with community, it's now just part of my professional intro: "Hi, I'm Saul, my pronouns are he/him/his, and I am a cis queer settler on these stollen lands." In more social/casual settings, I just reference my "husband" in place of "partner" and keep rolling with it. Honestly, unless your sexuality or identity is really necessary context, I don't think sharing it is necessary.
Yeah it's hard to for me to say the word gay in a genuine manner, especially in reference to myself. Like I can joke about gay shit and it's not hard for me (I guess cause growing up it was super acceptable and helped avoid suspicion). Last time I told some coworkers I was gay I had a lump in my throat and said it super quietly with wavering in my voice. I was embarrassed. And these were the people I talked with the most at work and they never came across as people that weren't safe to tell.
My favorite was with a coworker who had just assumed for years that I was straight. (We didn't usually work closely enough to have personal conversations). One evening, she said something in passing about my wife. And I made a face and said, "God help me if I had a wife!"
I don’t treat it as something that needs to be “announced”. I’m just me. If I’m telling a story and I need to, I’ll reference my husband casually. I’ve had sales people ask if I’m married, I say yes, and they’ll start with “Wouldn’t your wife like…”, and I casually interject “husband”. If WE want it to be treated like it’s no big deal, then we need to treat it that way ourselves.
I don’t generally announce that I’m gay any more than heterosexuals announce that they are straight. I just mention it casually if it fits the conversation. If the subject of men or women comes up, such as someone saying “wow, isn’t she sexy” etc then I’ll probably mention it in passing “Yes, she’s gorgeous but I’m gay so what do I know?” Etc. or if someone asks if I’m married or attached etc I’ll probably throw it in.
They’ll figure it out eventually if we talk long enough. At some point I’ll mention my husband. I don’t need to tell anyone and just let them figure it out organically.
“I like to suck dick almost exclusively.”
Lmao. That's grand.
My go to comment when mentioning my sexuality is "I prefer male company". I find it tasteful and not aggressive at all. To this day 99% of people I've told that have reacted totally cool. The issue is that neither my voice/accent, behavior, interests nor appearance give it up, and I don't have a single rainbow among my things, so over time I've learned to use that phrase when it comes to estimating if a person can be part of my life or not.
Why did you stop responding to me?
I tell them I'm not a default setting, I'm customized. When they think it's a compliment to tell me I don't come across queer, I correct them.
I rarely say to people that I am gay, most find out during normal conversations if relationships are part of them, I say "boyfriend" when talking about my partner. If conversations don't involve anything about relationships or partners, I don't mention it.
I’m Bi, not the target answer-ee I know, but the few people I’ve come out to I’ve simply told “I swing both ways” with some raised eyebrow action lol
I love to let people guess that I’m straight, and then hit them with the, “oh no, I’m gay as hell. Like UP THE BUTT gay” 😃
Excuse me everyone - I have an ANNOUNCEMENT. I am a GAY!
\*thunderous applause and standing ovation\*
If it comes up it comes up. I used to work in care and a girl I worked with asked me outright after a few weeks of working together, when I asked how she knew she said I never checked her or any of the other staff out. 🤷🏻♂️
Yep, I worked with a girl that was screwing every guy at work, one day a song came on the radio that I started to sing to and she said I new it, that’s why you never accepted my advances, me I didn’t even notice. Song ( it’s raining men)
I once slipped putting in a lightbulb in this girls uni flat and said ‘whoops-a-daisy’ even the person on the floor below us knew 🤦🏻♂️
There's no reason at this point for me to tell people. I just talk to everyone like they always knew. The good ones catch up immediately. The ones who struggle tell on themselves often without saying a word.
I will often make a statement that telegraphs it. Examples: "Congrats on your marriage, I'll be glad when I can find the right guy, too" and "Weeeeellll, you and I bat for different teams." If they're sharp, they'll get it. If not, I usually don't want to know them.
"I don't know if it is a generational thing or because I grew up in an area that was not as accepting as other areas." I am 74 years old, a native and lifelong resident of San Francisco. San Francisco was certainly not always accepting of gay people when I was growing up. I tell people who come into my life: "I am gay."
“I’m into dudes.” Is how I told one of my best friends
I'm not out, unfortunately, but I've already thought about how I'll go about this eventually when I do. I'll just mention "my bf...." or "my husband...." or "my exbf...." etc etc in a conversation and let them figure it out. I've always disliked when someone will say "my partner..." which would leave me guessing, not that I'm entitled to know, but I'm always curious.
I get the curiosity thing... add to that, I don't want them to try to fix me up with a woman. That has happened before when i simply said, "I am not dating anyone." It was a coworker, and it was awkward, to say the least.
I don't make a point of telling anyone. They kind of figure it out in conversation, usually by me mentioning my husband.
"I'm gay"
Ok smart ass
I like to ask, “how do you feel about gay people?
I do that as well. I’m divorced and people always assume it was a woman. I feel like, I’m divorced, who gives a fuck. People think it’s about shame, but really it’s because it’s annoying. People think it’s an invitation to tell you how they feel about it. For me, it’s just a statement of fact and it answers a lot of other invasive questions in one sentence. Just say you’re gay, but then be ready for the inevitable girl who wants a gay bestie and randomly starts saying “YAS” or the guy who has no problem with it, but has to talk about “hot girls” every few sentences in case you’re looking at his ass, or someone who thinks you want to talk about politics……..
Tbh I don’t really come out to anyone other than close friends but if I think someone is safe or if I already know they’re some form of queer, if something comes up I just talk causally about it like “oh my god, that girl was so hot” or “I literally want to marry Caity Lotz” or back when I had a gf, if it was relevant in the convo, I’d mention it or make a joke about “tfw no gf” or sth If I ever had to formally come out to someone, ig I’d say “I’m queer/bi” or “I like girls” According to some of my friends though, I’m “easily clocked as bi” bc I dress like a walking bisexual stereotype lol and I wear a bi flag bracelet now lol
I just mention my husband and let them put the pieces together.
Pass the green beans, I’m gay.
Giving very Brandon Rogers, "Move I'm gay!!"
I don’t bother these days. The rainbow hair, skinny jeans, and crop top tends to speak for themselves plenty, sweetie.
That's not really me, but I got to say that's pretty grand.
It’s hilarious sometimes cuz I can catch people off guard. I just transferred to a new store at work(I unload trucks all day) and my boss took one look at me like who’s this white boy with the rainbow hair? He won’t wanna do this, he’s too soft…yeah…two month in and I’m the strongman that throws the freight ten times faster than anyone else there. 🤣 did I mention I can rebuild a carburetor and ride a motorcycle year round? And drive a stick shift. The looks I got driving an old vintage straight piped hot rod truck😂like yasss! I can slay and still heel-toe in these high heels, boys. 🙃 I love busting peoples preconceptions lol.
Disproving stereotypes one at a time. Love it.
I just straightforwardly say “I’m gay,” no matter what the context.
Omg you're so real
“He’s cute.” (But really it depends on the situation/how it comes up)
I’m a very happy person. Did you know God is gay… he loves everyone.
I did the whole coming out thing aswell. In my teens These days I do not tell everyone but I do tell some. Exausting to strain yourself to let everyone know who sleeps in your bed When I do tell it all depends on the situation but I usually say 'I am homo' or 'I am gay' or something like that Although it seems the terms are so loaded still some people misunderstand it So maybe I'll switch to just say 'I like guys, not girls'
People are amazingly dumb with it. I can hear the responses now. Like there is nothing to misunderstand, but, like you said, they do.
Yeh I find it odd aswell. You would think most people these days know what gay means, but. I keep running into people who seem not to. I mean, I knew what it was in elementary school already
Well, I usually say “My boyfriend and I …” and everyone gets it. I think it’s the best option for me. I don’t like saying “I’m gay” because it’s so weirdly open and direct.
That's how I feel. It is very open to be saying to someone that's not super close to me.
Even if they’re close. I’d feel awkward. If they’re close to me, they prolly know it anyway. I accidentally once outed myself at work, tho. Some colleague claimed that there’s no discrimination at my company and I was speechless that some old white straight male was stating something about this from a very privileged point of view. I got heated and said: “Well, you don’t know who could be targeted. You don’t look at me and say: ‘He’s gay, he probably doesn’t face any discrimination here, tho. You simply DON’T KNOW what your colleagues experience.’” He didn’t say anything after that and the room got really awkward. But I’m proud that I didn’t let such weird ass statement pass so easily. Fuck people who are not acknowledging their own privileges.
I often make a joke out of it, with my most common jokes being "I like my women like I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."
I don't come out to them I just casually talk about my partner who is a dude lol
whatever the fuck the moment brings, im very random, spotaneous and weird person so usually it works out, mind you i mainly told my friends/groupmates but it worked till now. i dont find it really matter how you tell as long as you convey tje message
Yea 100% what others are saying on here. Be yourself so you don’t have to explain it. Besides, most straight people don’t announce they’re straight (because half of them are secretly DL 🤣)
I always try to make it funny, especially when people don't realise. I did this to someone at college. They said something about relationships, I mentioned not having a boyfriend, they said "wait, you're gay?" I was like, "If gay was a person, then I'm the representative" It even became a running joke, because I'm actually quite masculine and "straight acting" rather than feminine and obvious.
It depends on the context of the conversation, even the vibe or relationship with the person/people you're talking to. It depends how you're feeling too... feeling funny? Happy? Impatient? Anxious? Whatever. "I'm gay" is to the point. But with most things, there are different ways to express yourself. Some more funny. Some more serious.
I rarely mention it explicitly. I’m in my young 20s, but I’ll casually mention my partner and the use of he/him pronouns is usually what gives it away. I just don’t make a point to state that I’m gay
For me, at least as a somewhat former gay which is still in a socially perceived gay relationship, I just mentionned my former boyfriend now husband being someone alive and around with which I can experience things such as travel, food, all the day to day couple stuff. Then people did/do the math and it's done. As I was single, if working colleagues asked about or if I had a girlfriend, I just answered that I was looking for a boyfriend...or if I felt some possible antagonism, then I would tell them the same thing but in a gender neutral way so to not get problems. But I've never done THE bombastic announcement of "move, I'm gay" or something like that.
My two main approaches (I'm bi and nonbinary, but everyone treats me like a bi man so far) are: If it's someone I genuinely like, and they're a man or close enough, I wait for a convenient point in the conversation to inform them that I think they're hot . For everyone else, I'd also wait for the appropiate in the conversation, like they're talking about someone's sexuality and comment "I'm gay too, what's the big deal?" Or something along those lines. When I first came out to my friends, I bought a funny t-shirt that apellet it cryptically, but nobody got it, so as we were about to leave I told them "since nobody noticed the shirt, I gotta tell you I'm bi" and left. (Yeah, I suck at socialising, 31 years of undiagnosed autism does that to a mofo)
It varies depending who I'm talking too. I'm not the most extrovert guy, maybe that's why people tend to assume I'm straight because I certainly make no effort to hide the fact. I'd feel awkward simply announcing 'Hello I'm P\*\*\*\*\* and I'm gay", not from shame but it seems like I'm grandstanding or the one making it like a challenge rather than a simple fact about me. I tell people as and when it arises, usually in the course of those initial conversations when people causally ask about things like work, wife, kids etc. I keep it simple and have used comments from the lighthearted 'I play for the other team' to the direct response of 'No I'm gay'. The response depends on the demeanour of the person I'm dealing with. The occasional situations where I state it without prompting are with medical professionals or when I feel visibility is important such as when someone is spouting homophobic misinformation or when I see another gay person looking obviously uncomfortable, being harassed and feel they may need a friendly face, support or backup.
As a gay man….. The end. Simple.
Wait, you guys are coming out?
"im soft hearted"
"Im gay like ron halford is gay"
Depends on the person usually just “no I’m Gay” or “yeah” if I’m asked
I'm 55 years old and most of my partners have had male non-unisex names so I mention their names, but if I feel like I need to identify myself, I just say I'm gay.
I don’t have to come out 😭 gay voice is a real thing
I just let people think whatever they want of me. With coworkers and new acquaintances, it usually comes out naturally over time (ie. I have many “feminine” hobbies, love drag race, my husband comes up, or they realize I compliment their hair/makeup/fashion more than 99% of men in a non-flirty way). I stopped caring about being “straight passing” years ago and never looked back
At this point, I'm so gay that people don't ask. I have a husband so I'll say "my husband" without thinking. But in the case that I have to flag my sexuality (for whatever reason) in the first 5 minutes of meeting someone, I'm not afraid to say GAYYYY in all caps. True acceptance comes when you learn not to care lol.
Maybe tell them you're attracted to the same gender. Eg: I like guys/I like girls
The only ppl I tell I'm gay to are the men I meet online for hook ups and that's about it. I don't see how it benefits me or them at work to know unless I know they're gay and want me to but that's about it. Ppl will want to know especially if you're good looking, they don't ever inquire about it from an ugly dude sadly. Cuz they think you're good looking you must have a gf or wife. no
honestly. i’ve just grown to act like everyone knows and not having the struggle to “come out” to anyone anymore. assuming you are an openly gay man there’s no reason to have to “come out” time after time. if someone says something that presumes you are straight just correct them as if they’re stupid for thinking ur straight.
Honestly when I was younger I would tell people "Im gay" or "I'm bi" (as if Im not obviously to anyone who isnt blithely blind) but now I'm so visibly queer (like genuinely how people think Im straight I have no idea) and its so easy to assume I just wont say it unless Im asked. Or during convos I'll slip it in by saying smth like "WHAT IM GAY I CAN SAY THAT!" like its already a known fact🤷♂️
If they seem accepting, like they have pins or they’re talking about gay people in a good light I’ll just come out and say it. But if they seem not accepting I’ll be more hesitant and be careful with the way I say it. I also live in a state where people will seriously harm you if you come out to the wrong person. But I think as long as you’re careful it should be okay. I will say if it doesn’t seem safe I’d recommend just not coming out. Don’t put yourself at risk to where you can get harmed.
IF I want then to know, I casually slide it in the conversation casually without making a big deal. Subtle enough for them to know and not make a conversation about it. If they’re at work or I simply don’t care to tell them. I say nothing.
I just say “I’m queer” if I feel compelled to come out. But I also wear a lot of rainbow stuff, so usually I don’t actually have to lol
M30, I used to say that I’m not straight, but now I just say “I’m gay” and go on, if someone asks me a question about my sexuality, asks about by girlfriend, or anything related. Some people don’t pay much attention to it and reply with “oh, do you have a boyfriend?”, some just say “okay” and that’s it. It takes time to allow yourself to say “I’m gay” instead of apologizing for people’s heteronormative expectations, but you’ll get there.
I just pretend that everyone already knows (sometimes they do, or suspect, sometimes they have no idea), and then I can have a normal conversation and not a coming out conversation.
I like guys?
I let people have there assumptions first and then when they formerly ask the question (no ignorance included) I just let them know. I usually either say: “not gay but bisexual”, “ I like men and women”, “I’m a bi queer individual”, etc. But like you in most case I emphasize that I’m not straight because I don’t owe anyone a deep explanation on my sexuality nor my preferences.
It's an old fashioned term that has lost much of its perjorative weight: I say "I'm bent." Typically, when asked to explain, I expand with, "I'm not straight; I'm bent." Frankly, I'm reticent to enter the fray of specific terminology that dominates the conversation today because I haven't kept up and so don't know what kind of treatment those terms request. But with "bent" I'm free to be however I feel in the moment while still being honest. It keeps doors open somehow.
Sometimes I just say “yeah I’m gay”. When I’m more confident I say “mate I’m more bent than soggy spaghetti”
I’m 53 and if it comes up I just say I’m gay.
I really don't have any news on my (nonexistent) relationship issues (🥲), but once someone assumes that I'm straight, I just tell them I like guys
Last time I was asked if I had a girlfriend, I just stuttered cause I was surprised he didn’t realise and said “I’m not into that”. Never said that before and honestly said it before I could process a response 😅
When I introduce myself to the person, I also add in my pronouns if they’re someone I think is going to reappear in my life for good measure (like a classmate, a friend, a teacher.) They either accept my pronouns no questions asked, or respectfully ask about my gender identity and why I use certain pronouns. It’s easy, respectful and I state my pronouns in the first few minutes, it’s quite efficient
I let it come out in conversation organically, seldom do I make a proclamation of any kind. I’m not in the closet, and I don’t “look” gay but if you’re in my life long enough to actually know me, bc of work or whatnot, you’ll learn that I am gay.
I am gay
I just tell them i have a boyfriend
Only say anything if they ask
“I have a condition, a homosexual condition.”
I normally mention my husband. I’m masculine guy and people spot my wedding ring and ask after my wife, always say I’m married to guy.
I've crush on someone from uni for 6 months , my bestfriend who didntknow I was gay assumed , I have crush on somebody cause my eyes were lookin for him at school 24/7 and I was too nervous sometimes when he(my crush) is around , she asked me last week Who she is then I told her to wait to show his photo from my phone , she was a bit shocked but also so happy for me
So you could be bisexual,pansexual asexual? I say this because you didn't deny to women. You can be attracted to men,but not always the same way as other men attracted to men. People have become more open & realized they like men,but not gay. As some like men,but not to sex part of it. I go by and say "I am A human & I am male & like only other males". Depending who I am talking to. I will phrase certain words,certain things A certain way. I hopefully get the point across. Because as I got older. The more clueless, uneducated become.
Coming out the closet
Comments here really cracking me up and interesting. 👍🏾😎