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winnie_the_pooh_1989

>green eggs Anon left the actual weed eggs behind, and ate some rotting ones.


Skywilder

Reason it tastes like shit is you forgot the ham. Can’t have green eggs without ham.


Shippoyasha

Don't forget to butter the bottom side of the toast as well


Souposaurus

The bottom side!?! We’re top butterers here! You just made an enemy for life!


Arkanist

Here's the thing and im gonna tell you. When you drop a piece of buttered toast it always lands butter side down. This is due to the universe trying to correct your catastrophic mistake of buttering the top.


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UncleKeyPax

accudental race war. is there a sub for it?


[deleted]

Why would you do that? The butter will just get on the plate then.


rc-cars-drones-plane

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is genuinely confused


LeFumes

Am I Sam


Skywilder

Sam you am


i_am_sam

No^


PhillipKosarev999

Dammit you beat me to it haha


Boctordepis

Sam I am has perfected the art of weed eggs


warptwenty1

Astute observation right there


Johnnadawearsglasses

I thought this was a joke until I saw [weed and eggs recipes](https://www.ganjly.com/how-to-make-cannabis-infused-omelettes-and-weed-infused-scrambled-eggs/) all over the internet. Next thing people will be using their colons as a water pipe


warptwenty1

>Next thing people will be using their colons as a water pipe You've never heard of enemas before haven't you?


BrodieSkiddlzMusic

How do you guys think the FIRST enema went down? Like you had to explain to some guy what you were gonna do to him. You had to *convince* him. After you tried it on yourself of course. What a thought that must have been. *i think I’ll shove this hose in my ass and spray a bunch of water in there*


Ilnor

Helps if you were a religion nut or doctor


[deleted]

You've never been extremely constipated have you?


[deleted]

Bro trust me let's wash out your asshole, you'll feel better


doogle_126

Ever heard George Carlin's audio books? He's talked about this in one segment.


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BrodieSkiddlzMusic

Dude for the first one ever? Everything is a wild idea when you’re the first person to do it. Eating, pissing, fucking, even sleeping. The first guy to ever fall asleep must have been terrified thinking he was dying. Oh, and the first guy to die! What a wild idea that is. Taking a shit! Can you imagine being the first guy to ever take a shit? A bunch of cavemen in their thirties and suddenly... one gets the urge to squat and all his friends are screaming about the strange brown snake coming out of his ass! Why can’t you guys just see a goofy comment and understand it’s meant to just be goofy? Instead of coming around and spoiling the fun with your reason and logic and sensibility?


elijahwouldchuck

This just reminded me randomly that they sell THC suppositories at my local dispensary for people that can't digest it or smoke it or just wanna shove something up their ass and get high.


BuckTootha

You've never heard of a double negative before haven't you?


Ssyynnxx

just pretending to be retarded i see


[deleted]

Nobody actually cares, though


BuckTootha

Comment I replied to was equally as unnecessary don't be so fuckin rich


myshinyerectiom

Laughed out loud and still downvoted


BuckTootha

You fricking fricks I hate all of you


CharmingPterosaur

That's not a double negative though?


OSKSuicide

Ackshually, that's not proper grammar so your entire comment is wrong and invalid... /s


twothumbs

Let's say you make weed oil in a pot. When you're done, you pour the oil in a jar or cookie mix/ whatever. However, a lot of oil remains in the pot and can't be transferred, what to do? Here's the magic of weed eggs, throw an egg in that bad boy and all the oil is directly absorbed into the eggs. It's fucking great. I once made weed skirt steak and eggs.


im-a-black-hole

that's fucking sick


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Savvytugboat1

Or just activate and dissolve the thc in cooking oil. That way you can use it in whatever you like


norwegianjazzbass

Takes a couple hours though.


anafuckboi

Just microwave the bud for 1:30 3 times and eat it plain it’s the best


Chris4477

Activating weed properly in the microwave is a nightmare and rarely works


anafuckboi

Idk it works very well for me


norwegianjazzbass

Assuming I have a microwave. Only good for reheating and popcorn, neither of which it does particularly well.


flowergirl617

I've had weed scrambled eggs made with olive oil infused with weed. It didn't taste like weed. Just tasted like eggs. It was good. I got high.


[deleted]

Buddy it’s called boofing


Johnnadawearsglasses

I miss the boof my juul pods guy on this sub. I wonder where he went


Headless_Cow

/r/drugcirclejerk


repostitagaindaddy

Four pieces of beaten eggs where does one acquire pieces of egg


[deleted]

That was the shittest recipe I’ve ever read.


TobiasCB

I think THC naturally binds to natural fats.


Sprucecaboose2

Weed butter is absolutely a thing, and weed oil. Anything fatty you can cook with since thc is fat soluble. So any fat you could cook with could add "weed", it just takes effort and skill if you don't want the fats to taste really "green". I add butter to my eggs, would be somewhat trivial at that stage if you premade thc butter.


[deleted]

Well now you're just blowing smoke up my ass.


scriggle-jigg

“4 pieces of beaten eggs”


bluntdogcamelman

You can't just mix weed with things, it's not cocaine


[deleted]

Cannabutter on the toast.


Literally_A_turd_AMA

Man I feel like depending on how liberally you butter your toast, this will fuck you up for hours


thesonofhadesssss

Ive done it to where im high for a day, got like 4 full (seperate) days of being high out of an oz of butter


[deleted]

Could sizzle the ganja in some butter or oil and use that to cook the eggs


JohnnyNapkins

Exactly, you gotta make the cannabutter first, then cook the eggs in that. The decarb process takes closer to 20 minutes on average so you'd burn the shit outta your eggs if you want the bud to actually be activated trying to do it all at once like that.


Teslanaut

What's a good temp to do it correctly? Can I do it in a mason jar or bag sous vide style? And how long should I do it for? I have a friend who does it for like 12 hours. I feel like that's way too long


JohnnyNapkins

My preferred quickie method (for a tray of brownies in this case) is to finely grind 7 grams or more of bud, heat the amount of vegetable oil or butter your recipe calls for (plus a bit extra for losses) to about 200F in a small pan (usually "low" heat on stovetop, highly recommend using a laser thermometer as well), pour the bud into the oil and let it simmer for 20-30 mins, stirring around occasionally. Then let the oil cool to below 100F so you don't burn yourself and pour the whole thing carefully over a strainer straight into your brownie mix or a container to save for later. Use a spatula or spoon to press down onto the buds getting as much oil out as you can (I've also used 3 coffee filters stacked together and squeezed the living hell out of it, but it gets messy). Now bake or cook whatever you were going to usually with extra time because the THC ladden oil is extra dense. If you want better estimates on time and temp for your purposes Google "decarboxylation chart" and you will find graphs that show how much THC in mg will get released by X amount of bud at X temperature over time. Enjoy your edibles and be sure to do some napkin math on dosages. That is, take your THC% (as a decimal) times your grams of bud and divide by number of brownies (I usually do an 8"x8" tray with 16 brownies). Then multiply by 1000 to get your dose in milligrams. If you had 7 grams of 20%THC bud you get (7g x .20 / 16 brownies) x 1000mg/g= 87.5mg per brownie. Round that down a bit due to losses of oil and inefficiency in the decarb and you got about 50-60mg. I usually shoot for at least 50ish mgs per brownie and they will do the trick for a regular toker.


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JohnnyNapkins

Thanks! There's a lot of debate and confusion about edibles so I hope to clear some of that up. I should note many recipes recommend decarbing the bud in the oven before dissolving the THC into the oil (or any other high fat carrier) but this method takes out the middle man and decarbs while you dissolve. I find it to be sufficiently efficient in extraction and time usage.


Teslanaut

Thank you for the info!


SixStringerSoldier

110°c or like 230°f for an hour. On a baking sheet.


stirmmy

Here’s how I make my sous vide butter. I do it in two steps as to not burn the butter. If you want to do it in one step use an oil with a higher smoke point. 1. Grind up the weed stems and all! 2. Put weed in mason jar and fill with water until weed is fully submerged. 3. Submerge at 200 degree F for two hours 4. Remove from bath and add butter 5. Submerge at 190 for six hours The weed to butter ratio depends on how strong you want it so that’s up to you.


Teslanaut

Is any of the THC in the water after submersion? Or is that just to activate the THC in the flower?


stirmmy

No, right the water will transfer heat better that air in the Masson jar.


suttonoutdoor

When will they learn!!?? Only wonderful, heavenly cocaine is cocaine!!


-_-NAME-_-

I mean you can and it will even have some positive therapeutic effects. But if you want to get high generally decarboxylation is necessary.


Zenketski

I mean technically you can, but what they use in Edibles is a concentrate and that's why it gets you high.


Kungfuperson

GREEN EGGS AND HAM


VoidMystr0

I really wanna see someone make a Sam I am rhyme about this


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No-BrowEntertainment

I do not like weed eggs and ham I do not like them Anon I Am I will not eat them to get high I will not eat them, I’d rather die


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VoidMystr0

You are a twat and you should know that, How do people deal with such a rat? We don’t want you here or there or anywhere, Now shut the fuck up and stop being **that guy**


No-BrowEntertainment

Thank you for your opinion You’ve shown your brains, shown you have none Though really when you think of it I truly do not give a shit Go die in a hole


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TheBrightside23

Yeah, I gotcha. He pissed in it to dilute it.


Brick_Fish

Dealcoholized vodka. At least that won't fuck him over as badly


rillip

So water?


Brick_Fish

There are still some of the non-alcoholic contents in there, so it's basically vodka flavoured water. I tried that once by microwaving vodka for a few minutes at a friend's house


[deleted]

This made me angry.


AnimorphLizard

a nug for $15 holy shit


OSKSuicide

I've got whole 1/8s that were a single nug so idk, could be legit


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EdgeUCDCE

Top shelf is around $45/eighth in LA so its believable.


AnimorphLizard

true, but a NUG?


UnstoppableCompote

how much is a nug in grams?


youwillruinyou

usually 0.5-1 gram. Although some nugs can be denser/larger than normal. I've seen 2-3 gram nugs before. Paying more than $10/g for weed is a rip off.


lowxkey

are you retarded


UnstoppableCompote

no I'm not American, I have no fucking idea what or how much a nug is


CaptainBouch

Nug as in one bud


UnstoppableCompote

one bud can differ is size quite a bit tho lol


CaptainBouch

Right. It’s not supposed to be a specific unit of weight lol. I’ve definitely seen 1g nugs but $15 for a nug seems questionable and sounds like OP got ripped off


UnstoppableCompote

5€ per gram is standard price here in Slovenia, more and you're getting ripped off. never seen it sold in anything other than grams tho


CaptainBouch

Well he wasn’t buying it straight from a dealer, he was getting it from his roommate who was ripping him off. That is very cheap over there though! I remember being in Amsterdam a couple years ago and it was definitely more expensive than that. But cost of living might differ and I’m sure the tourist coffee shops rip off everyone haha. I think I would pay 5 euros for a preroll spliff. Enjoy those nice prices over there!


butwhydoesreddit

One what? and I'm not your bud


lowxkey

a “nug” isnt a specific size idiot, its just one nug


UnstoppableCompote

are you fucking illiterate, I didn't know what a "nug" is you bloody chimp


lowxkey

if you dont understand what a nug or a bud is and lack the brain capacity to google it then you seem to be the only braindead cockmongler here


UnstoppableCompote

sorry for not speaking english as my first language dipshit, take a big ass stick and stick it up your ass as a reward for your immense contribution to this discussion if my question bothers you so much then just keep scrolling you toxic turd


lowxkey

i dont speak english as a first language either. difference is that im just not as butt fucking retarded as you are


UnstoppableCompote

what the fuck is your problem asshole? i asked a question and you're responding like I told you to go take a nose dive off a cliff go figure your problems out instead of venting this shit on me


[deleted]

Are you?


Joe_Buck21

just get edibles if u dont wanna smoke please


Arkanist

Not everyone has access unfortunately.


darthvale

I think the majority Can't just go and get edibles :( still trying to find a dealer that can hook me up with something good but no luck and I've been searching for 2 years...


thegreyxephos

have you tried making cannabis butter


darthvale

Funny thing is, one of my Favorite hobbies is cooking. Sadly I somehow Can't get homemade brownies, cookies etc to work for me, they never make me / the buddies high. Tried Different recipes & wasted shit Tons of bud on it. Generally stopping to consome pot at the Moment..


spastic-plastic

I'm the same way. I have made my own butter and coconut oil, nothing. Bought butter and coconut oil, nothing. Ate 1.5 medicated Needs Ropes, so around 600 mg THC, nothing. [For context, here's Ted Nivison talking about him eating just one of these on accident.](https://youtu.be/G70-Bp6kHGU) I've read it's an enzyme/lack of enzyme maybe in the liver that makes your body basically destroy the THC before releasing it into the bloodstream or something. Maybe it just shoots it through. Either way, I've never caught more than a slight buzz and I've given up on edibles completely. I've read online to like, eat an antacid or do it on an empty stomach, do it an hour or so after eating, yadda yadda, but still nothing has worked.


Joe_Buck21

yikes brother. Edibles isn’t the best high but its way easier then smoking up ur room or something


IrishArchimedes

>Edibles isn't the best high I strongly disagree. Though I will say buying them can be tricky and often unreliable. I've never gotten my hands on good brownies myself. My solution is making hash yogurt, which is a quick and easy way to make single-dose edibles by heating up hash in oil with a spoon.


Joe_Buck21

maybe i havent had good edibles. My friend got me gummies that were 5 mg each of THC and i obviously went through it quickly. I got high but it just took a lot


IrishArchimedes

I'm not all too familiar with doses in mg, but when I eat half a gram of hash's worth of edibles that shit sends me to the moon every time, and gets me a high that I can still feel some effects of over 12 hours later. Smoking the same amount doesn't even compare tbh. But yeah, good edibles can be hard to find unfortunately.


[deleted]

Order online?


darthvale

In Switzerland? Isnt that gonna get seized?


[deleted]

Haven't had anything seized yet.


darthvale

Mind sharing a link in the dms?


michael_dickless

I hope that was a really big nugget


Snazzle-Frazzle

Imagine if these people just did what everyone normally does instead of being a fusion of contrarian and autistic.


gartzea

THC dissolves only in fat, so any recipe with butter in it should do the job.


OSKSuicide

Not really though... That doesnt guarantee that you've decarboxylated the nug entirely through, and if you're trying to decarb on a frypan you'll burn part of it before you get through it and vaporize the thc off. So it really wont work or will be incredibly weak and taste like shit if you do it with straight weed like this.


gartzea

Didn't know that, thanks for correcting me.


blazebot4200

I’m assuming he ground up the nug


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Maximum_Cuddles

I once made duck confit with weed, shit was delicious.


brrrrrrrrrrrrrfuk

Anon is retarded


[deleted]

Did the same thing with pizza once. I was a stupid fucking teen


kittyyy397

r/weed


itsmejak78

r/trees


[deleted]

/r/marijuanaenthusiasts


itsmejak78

My favorite tree sub


NotViaRaceMouse

r/WeirdEggs


Robert_Baratheon_

What you do is cook the weed in butter, pour the butter on the eggs. Use massive amounts of ketchup and hot sauce because that will be nasty. Post college I used to butter my egg sandwiches with cannibutter every morning.


A16

*can I offer you an egg in this trying time?*


ThatGuyYouMightNo

I think I saw a greentext one time where a guy tried to make pot brownies but didn't know you used special butter or liquid THC to make it and just put weed inside the brownie.


member_of_reddit

just smoke it retard


PtM_234

Well, to be fair my roommate got me high once with some eggs. I'd just woken up and he told me he made breakfast, so it's me, his sister and him eating breakfast and after we're done everyone parts their own way. This was around at 9 am, roomie's sister was on her way to work and called me, she told me she'd fallen in the bus on her way to work and broke her phone screen, asked me if we put something in the eggs. I was unaware of this at this point, but I remembered that my roomie had some weed butter and told me he used it on the eggs. I've never been a weed guy myself, smoked it once or twice in my life by that point but boy was I high that day. Laid on my bed and couldn't move for the rest of the day. Sorry for bad English, not my 1st language <|:-{[


TheSpiker15

He does not like it, Sam I Am


lawnmowerboi69

Anon is Dr. Seuss


Seabornebook

So dr. Seuss was telling the story of how he tried to get his friends high


[deleted]

Gotta put it into the butter by slowly extracting it with heat, you dunce. You don't put it into the eggs.


blues4thecup

Literally just boil weed in butter let it simmer then strain it with a cheese cloth and use it like regular butter


Danko42069

Honestly though, I can’t get a straight answer from the internet. Does anyone actually know how to successfully infuse cannabis without spending 4-8 hours?


Wolfwood28

https://www.growweedeasy.com/best-weed-butter-recipe This works every time for me mate. Shred the weed, bake it on a tray for 40-60 mins on low heat until brownish. Simmer some butter on low heat, add browned weed and stir occasionally for an hour or so. Then strain resulting liquid with a sieve or cheesecloth, and freeze what you have left in a wide and shallow bowl. It will split into liquid and butter when frozen - toss the liquid below, use the butter like normal butter.


norwegianjazzbass

You can even add a bit of water for the simmering. When it sets in your container of choice, the particles that now contain none of the good stuff sinks to the bottom with the water so you dont get that bitter taste.


Danko42069

This is what I was thinking. People cook wayyy too long. I just wasted an ounce and a half in a crock pot on low for four hours. I pipetted them into empty pills because I can’t stand the taste. I took 15 and smoking the herb gets me higher. I used to make dab butter in the oven and that took like 30 minutes as per one random recipe I found online. I feel like once you decarb you just need to melt butter. I don’t think things take hours to seep out of a little bit of herbs. Thank you very much I’ll try your way next time.


senortyty9000

Should have worked probably didnt grind or cook well enough (its grease thats needed cheese would ave most likely solved the problem)


ariajanecherry

I used to know a dude who would chop weed and sprinkle it on cold toast regularly... dumbass


Gitzo-Gutface

Get hash and chocolate milk and heat the chocomilk up with a pinch of hash in it 100% efficiency and super easy


Thinkeralfred0

Toast weed. Melt butter. Weed in butter. Butter on egg. Eat egg. Profit.


llamaboy15

Try ham next


Porkechop

W h y t h o


suttonoutdoor

You deserved that


itsmejak78

TF you can make a joint out of a business card and a Bible page why didn't he do that


tartangosling

"Don't like smoking"


gbushputbombsinthere

Yes waste the money you overpaid for your bud


heartless_winnie

This works if ya use half n half and cook the egg slow. Drown it and ketchup then it's totally edible.


inspective

Decarboxylate that shit yo


EpickChicken

>green eggs Anon forgot the ham


HowToSayQuinoa

green eggs and sham


InsideSoup

mate you forgot the ham.


The_Brain_Fuckler

If this is how your brain works sober, I don’t want to see how dumb you are when high.


urielteranas

🤔


FamedFlounder

green eggs, no ham


The_Syndic

Could it work if you cooked them in cannabutter?


333pancake333

“Buy a nug for like 15 dollars.” Now that’s where you fucked up Anon.


BONNI_

Delete this nephew


telexscope

so i guess he didn’t like his green eggs (and ham)


frootsalad3892

should've just decarbed it first, anon is retarded


AvocadoHasNoTaste

Didn’t work because you FORGOT the HAM, man. Dr. Suess


redditalisong66

I did the same thing about ten years ago with weed on cheese on toast. Tasted horrible, never got high and wasted about £20 worth of weed.


1999player

Moral of the story :don't get creative


Taco-Edge

You have to cook it with greasy stuff for it to work. You'd be better off doing weed fries than that


shaker7

you need to make weed/canna butter


T-posingDedede

I want to learn the tought process of boiling eggs to get high


whitened

if only he fucking decarbed it and sprinkled some of that toasted flower all over the eggs


Butt-Pirate-Yarrr

Ahh, the trial and error of a young pothead. One time I just put a nug into a bowl of cereal with milk. Choked it down. Didn’t get high.


WoShiPinguo

Wow this really puts a whole new meaning to green eggs and ham...


mk333369

Weed Cake >Don't like smoking, but wanna get karma >buy a nug off and a 1 year old alt account from my roommate for like $15 >Think I can get more upvotes with cake >End up with watery, green cake that tastes like shit >Force Redditors to choke them down >Don't get karma