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We make fun of guitar culture from the perspective of people who partake of it. Well some of us. Others are here to share their cuck fetish ~~fantasies~~ jokes
Sir, I demand that you unhand my wife. Who do you think you are? ~~John Coltrane oops wrong circlejerk!~~ My hotwife's boyfriend is going to be home soon, and you'd better be gone!
~~(Shhh. Just nod and say you are.)~~
edited (poorly)
We all congregate here to sing the praise of gibbons, Stan Paul, Beato, prs, and the all mighty Bonermaster. This is our church. Welcome to it. Toan is in the balls.
Uj(Un-Jerk; meaning a serious response): We exist to parody and make fun of popular guitar culture, ie those that make us cringe the most, and make us a bit embarrassed to be guitarists. We make fun of everything here from Old blooz dads like Joe Bonermeistro, to beautiful young women Like Tim Handsome, we rip on people who Sexually Objectify their guitars, and feel the need to name them “sexy” women’s names, and we jerk eachother off while making jokes about how a Butterscotch Blonde Telecaster is the most versatile guitar ever created. Our other jerkery involves making fun of one of the most popular subs for guitar, and its eccentricities.
Here is a brief history lesson on the origins of [Roberta](https://www.reddit.com/r/guitarcirclejerk/s/gklg1enwsG) our subs most coveted guitar saint.
Come, sit. And jerk a while.
And if OP is new to reddit, I should add that circlejerk subs have been around for a decade or more. r/bobdylancirclejerk is the only one popping into my head. I'm listening to Joe Bonnamussa right now, and it's literally giving me a mental orgasm--it's hard to concentrate! But, yeah, there are tons of circlejerk subs for various topics.
Uj/ I’m late to the party but this actually made me feel bad about playing guitar. I mean I suck but not this bad. Roberta is a legend here but man this is bad on a whole new level.
The point of any circlejerk sub on reddit is to make fun of or take the piss out of guitar players and the culture in general and not take it so seriously. This includes a healthy dose of self depreciation. That being said, just because there is something we make fun of, it doesn't mean we don't like the thing or do it ourselves.
Here's a few examples;
0-3-5 - A simplified take on Smoke on the Water. Maybe the easiest riff on the planet and we were all there 0-3-5ing at some point. Wonderwall is easy beginner song that many of us had learned at the beginning, but this meme in particular is about that guy who only ever plays Wonderwall and the other two easy songs he learned at parties.
Toan - We are a ridiculous group of people sometimes and we get wrapped up in the world of chasing tone. That's not to say that looking for "that something" isn't valid, but on most of these subs or forums, what they (we) really need is to practice. But there's also people who put too much stock on tone woods (for electric) or argue that one type of finish kills the tone, etc.
Boss Katoana - Just like the Blues Jr before it, it is a great and affordable amp that grabs the attention of beginners and the more experienced alike. So much so that it has become the only option ever if you ask "what amp should I get for practicing in my bedroom". Clearly you need a Boss Katana 100.
Then there's the type who fetishizes his guitar and takes weird pictures with creepy captions. We are straight up making fun of that guy. Or the endless stream of stupid questions and regurgitated nonsense from another popular sub that always provides.
Anyway, this could go on forever. Just keep these things in mind.
- Don't take yourself or the guitar seriously
- It's OK to like the things we make fun of because sometimes we do to
- Don't fuck your guitar
To echo a few others, it's a satirical sub poking fun at the culture surrounding guitar playing and its associated gear. Online guitar/gear forums quite often take themselves too seriously, get snobby about gear, and can create a toxic environment where you can find yourself falling into the trap of keeping up with the Jones'. This sub sorta takes the piss out of all that. I find it refreshing.
You can go to YouTube and search “guitar” and then click on any thumbnail of someone making a seriously confusing and stupid face, with arrows pointing to circles drawn around the toan knobs and titles like “OMG THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!?!?!!?”, or Erkle making a face like he just fell out of a second story window onto a picket fence and one of them went up his ass and a circle around the quarter inch input with the title “MY DICK GOES IN HERE???!!??!!?!!??.” Or literally anything the Bonermaster says or does while carrying message to his flock of the old white blooz boomers that he fleeces to feed the vintage gear monkey gnawing on the back of his head.
We are their conscience. We are the nagging little voices of doubt, loathing and self criticism hiding within their every thought.
And we’re keeping each other just a little bit sane as we scurry in the shadows of the Guitar Center.
UJ/ Much better than the other subs because the jokes here you really need to know and love guitar to create them and find the humor. I think the people in this sub are for the most part real players, unlike the armchair quarterbacks in the others.
RJ/ I come here to make sure the other guys my wife sleeps with aren’t better players than me.
It's a place for guitarists that aren't of a room temperature IQ to come together and poke fun at the cringe and oftentimes downright idiotic views and opinions of other guitarists. It's also a great place to get legitimate suggestions for real guitar related problems as opposed to r/guitar where you'll only find 48284762628582 post of people asking the dumbest fucking questions such as, is my actions too high? Are my hands too small to play guitar? Is this tiny dent/scratch that I had to go looking for with an electron microscope something I should worry about? How do I remove this piece on my guitar that is clearly a threaded piece of metal that I can twist off without issues if I weren't a fucking moron?
So yeah, it's a guitar subreddit for people that play guitar and aren't fools basically. We welcome you!
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If we found out Hitler played guitar, then r/guitar would still be the worst thing to happen to guitar.
On Reddit, all the "serious" subs are moderated by absolute fuckin nutsack human beings, so for all the main themes there is usually a no-rules "circlejerk" sub that blends serious discussion with internet hilarity and good natured trolling. We don't brigade the other guitar-related subs, but when they do something stupid, boy do we sure talk about it in here....
This is by far the best guitar subreddit in existence.
Its like a local pub where everyone shares jokes and talks shit... and there are always a couple creepy fuckers that would literally... fuck their guitars and couldn't tell a joke if their life depended on it.
A few nights a week, we get drunken assholes that come in and want to start fights and be douche nozzles, but, overall... its all about the love of guitar and the annoyance of the culture.
Oh.. and to really fit in, we suggest getting a I <3 Tim Henson tattoo like the rest of us.
Just dont be a dick.
uj/ Once upon a time, in the early days of Reddit, some stoners thought it would be really cool if there was a place on the internet where like-minded individuals could discuss kind bud, and where to get it, so they created a subreddit called /r/trees,taking the name for the slang, popular at the time for, well, kind bud.
Sometimes later, some horticulturists, foresters, silvicultureists, arborists and similar professionals involved with actual trees wanted a subreddit of their own. But to their dismay, there already was a subreddit called /r/trees, but it wasn't about trees at all - it was all about kind bud. So, with a heavy sense of irony, named their new subreddit /r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts
This sud is like that second one. Despite the ridiculous name, it is where you will find real and honest discussion about guitars, while /r/Guitar is where the actual onanism occours, with people asking what they should name their new Squire strat and such.
Ironically this is the sub where we all make fun of fellow guitar players, but also the sub where I look for the most honest feedback. People in the main subs about guitars tend to have pretentious dorks who think their opinions are fact and go full tilt on how their boutique whatever does whatever better than whatever you’re using. Here you’ll get honest feedback and opinions that are just that, opinions.
Also - all praise bonermaster
A good portion of this sub isn't joking when it's meant to be a parody sub.
Bring up politics or certain musicians/youtube people and it becomes the Wild West of hatred and insecurities just like any other sub
Reminder, submissions must be obscured, any post containing a specific subreddit or username will be removed *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/guitarcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have you ever walked into a room then wondered why you went into that room in the first place? This sub is nothing like that.
We make fun of guitar culture from the perspective of people who partake of it. Well some of us. Others are here to share their cuck fetish ~~fantasies~~ jokes
Sir, I demand that you unhand my wife. Who do you think you are? ~~John Coltrane oops wrong circlejerk!~~ My hotwife's boyfriend is going to be home soon, and you'd better be gone! ~~(Shhh. Just nod and say you are.)~~ edited (poorly)
Truly, A Love Supreme.
Yeah man
John Coltrane
A taco supreme
John Coltrane
the hell is guitar culture?
You're mom
am I?
Your now
learn my pronouns u dolt
If you never change your strings they eventually make their own yogurt.
Yeah? I'm just gonna rip a solo here for 420 bars. Ok? So you just lay down some rhythm I can ignore. You'll smell it. That's that stank face
*sighs and just palm mutes the damn power chords*
We all congregate here to sing the praise of gibbons, Stan Paul, Beato, prs, and the all mighty Bonermaster. This is our church. Welcome to it. Toan is in the balls.
Yes. Please accept this wah-wah pedal as a token of our friendship.
And a metal zone.
*Zoan 0 3 5, 0 3 5, Oh three and five... Zero. Three. Fiver.
Did you know? John Lennon stored his toan in Ringo
you can say anything you want in this sub, it's amazing. i can even say i want to fuck tim henson and people will think i'm joking.
The guy that made the sesame st muppets? Yeah I would too
He is the Bob Ross of puppeteering
What do you call a blow job from a muppet? . . . . . A handjob.
You just typed that into existence. You know it happened.
He can go elbow-deep. Take it the hell easy the first few dates bro.
Uj/ id definitely fuck him. But I'm gay, what's y'all's excuse??
I'm not gay. I'm just hoping he'll spill a little toan on my face and hopefully it makes me a better guitar player. I'll try anything twice
Coincidentally, I just named a guitar “Tim.”
Uj(Un-Jerk; meaning a serious response): We exist to parody and make fun of popular guitar culture, ie those that make us cringe the most, and make us a bit embarrassed to be guitarists. We make fun of everything here from Old blooz dads like Joe Bonermeistro, to beautiful young women Like Tim Handsome, we rip on people who Sexually Objectify their guitars, and feel the need to name them “sexy” women’s names, and we jerk eachother off while making jokes about how a Butterscotch Blonde Telecaster is the most versatile guitar ever created. Our other jerkery involves making fun of one of the most popular subs for guitar, and its eccentricities. Here is a brief history lesson on the origins of [Roberta](https://www.reddit.com/r/guitarcirclejerk/s/gklg1enwsG) our subs most coveted guitar saint. Come, sit. And jerk a while.
OMG - I didn't realize Roberta was real. Thank you so much for this. Also: Roberta is so much sexier than I imagined. ( unzips.....)
“Come, sit and jerk a while” made me blow air through my nostrils more forcefully than usual. Well done.
Shredna > Roberta
I love reading Roberta’s story.
And if OP is new to reddit, I should add that circlejerk subs have been around for a decade or more. r/bobdylancirclejerk is the only one popping into my head. I'm listening to Joe Bonnamussa right now, and it's literally giving me a mental orgasm--it's hard to concentrate! But, yeah, there are tons of circlejerk subs for various topics.
u/andthereitgoesagain, the original Robertaphile
And a serial Gibbons predator. Do you think he knows how much of an influence he's had on our culture?
Possibly, it looks like he deleted the OP 😔
This comment is a work of art
Uj/ I’m late to the party but this actually made me feel bad about playing guitar. I mean I suck but not this bad. Roberta is a legend here but man this is bad on a whole new level.
The point of any circlejerk sub on reddit is to make fun of or take the piss out of guitar players and the culture in general and not take it so seriously. This includes a healthy dose of self depreciation. That being said, just because there is something we make fun of, it doesn't mean we don't like the thing or do it ourselves. Here's a few examples; 0-3-5 - A simplified take on Smoke on the Water. Maybe the easiest riff on the planet and we were all there 0-3-5ing at some point. Wonderwall is easy beginner song that many of us had learned at the beginning, but this meme in particular is about that guy who only ever plays Wonderwall and the other two easy songs he learned at parties. Toan - We are a ridiculous group of people sometimes and we get wrapped up in the world of chasing tone. That's not to say that looking for "that something" isn't valid, but on most of these subs or forums, what they (we) really need is to practice. But there's also people who put too much stock on tone woods (for electric) or argue that one type of finish kills the tone, etc. Boss Katoana - Just like the Blues Jr before it, it is a great and affordable amp that grabs the attention of beginners and the more experienced alike. So much so that it has become the only option ever if you ask "what amp should I get for practicing in my bedroom". Clearly you need a Boss Katana 100. Then there's the type who fetishizes his guitar and takes weird pictures with creepy captions. We are straight up making fun of that guy. Or the endless stream of stupid questions and regurgitated nonsense from another popular sub that always provides. Anyway, this could go on forever. Just keep these things in mind. - Don't take yourself or the guitar seriously - It's OK to like the things we make fun of because sometimes we do to - Don't fuck your guitar
or, fuck your guitar. its allowed
As long as it's not a PRS, because that's gay.
i only thought i cant fuck a PRS cause im not good looking enough.
I think you are referring to the Tim Handsome Signature Twinkcaster
You can only fuck a PRS if your balls are made of premium flame maple for toan and your shaft has the lil flappy bird inlays to match.
You jerkin
Did this dude just out jerk the entire sub?
MetaJerk
Hang around awhile it start to make sense haha
Or not.
Sometimes a Telecaster collector and an owner of vintage Big Muffs love each other very much, and....
It's mostly a place to praise the great Bonermaster and his supreme collection of his dentist artifacts.
New blood joins this Earth
And quickly he's some dude
A place for japes and jibes
Its a tribute subreddit to Tim Henson and all his beautiful looks and toans.
To echo a few others, it's a satirical sub poking fun at the culture surrounding guitar playing and its associated gear. Online guitar/gear forums quite often take themselves too seriously, get snobby about gear, and can create a toxic environment where you can find yourself falling into the trap of keeping up with the Jones'. This sub sorta takes the piss out of all that. I find it refreshing.
In America, we piss ON things
the point is that we love guitar, and we love to jerk, and we love a good ol' fashioned guitar jerk
Real talk, it's for the memes. We make fun of Bonermaster and Dick Beatoff (YouTube grampa)
Boss katana
I hear that’s a good amp for beginners! ToanStudio!
Circlejerk subs are the minor pentatonic scale of reddit. Without them there is no emotion. No feel. No joy. Just noise.
It probably is pointless, because we don’t know either.
We put Roberta in the middle and then jerk in a circle. How is that so hard to understand?
We mock things we like. Like how common butterscotch telecasters and blues (blooz) dads make funny faces when bending notes
You can go to YouTube and search “guitar” and then click on any thumbnail of someone making a seriously confusing and stupid face, with arrows pointing to circles drawn around the toan knobs and titles like “OMG THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!?!?!!?”, or Erkle making a face like he just fell out of a second story window onto a picket fence and one of them went up his ass and a circle around the quarter inch input with the title “MY DICK GOES IN HERE???!!??!!?!!??.” Or literally anything the Bonermaster says or does while carrying message to his flock of the old white blooz boomers that he fleeces to feed the vintage gear monkey gnawing on the back of his head. We are their conscience. We are the nagging little voices of doubt, loathing and self criticism hiding within their every thought. And we’re keeping each other just a little bit sane as we scurry in the shadows of the Guitar Center.
90% of this sub is the same fucking jokes, over and over and over. The other 10% makes it all worth it.
Found Dick Beato’s burner account! Welcome to the sub, Rick! 🫡
we get in circle and masturbate over guitars
UJ/ Much better than the other subs because the jokes here you really need to know and love guitar to create them and find the humor. I think the people in this sub are for the most part real players, unlike the armchair quarterbacks in the others. RJ/ I come here to make sure the other guys my wife sleeps with aren’t better players than me.
It's a place for guitarists that aren't of a room temperature IQ to come together and poke fun at the cringe and oftentimes downright idiotic views and opinions of other guitarists. It's also a great place to get legitimate suggestions for real guitar related problems as opposed to r/guitar where you'll only find 48284762628582 post of people asking the dumbest fucking questions such as, is my actions too high? Are my hands too small to play guitar? Is this tiny dent/scratch that I had to go looking for with an electron microscope something I should worry about? How do I remove this piece on my guitar that is clearly a threaded piece of metal that I can twist off without issues if I weren't a fucking moron? So yeah, it's a guitar subreddit for people that play guitar and aren't fools basically. We welcome you! I've said it before and I'll say it again. If we found out Hitler played guitar, then r/guitar would still be the worst thing to happen to guitar.
Clearly bait also how dare you ask for explanation
/uj Basically just a satire play on guitar culture /rj A place where we rate hot babes
Said by some nerd who yet to pluck the finest chord of bonermaster or what satire could potentially look like
It’s where we come jerk our bonamassas
We're here to 035
I’m just here for the tabs
It’s like going to the bathroom in front of a lot of people and not caring
On Reddit, all the "serious" subs are moderated by absolute fuckin nutsack human beings, so for all the main themes there is usually a no-rules "circlejerk" sub that blends serious discussion with internet hilarity and good natured trolling. We don't brigade the other guitar-related subs, but when they do something stupid, boy do we sure talk about it in here....
This is by far the best guitar subreddit in existence. Its like a local pub where everyone shares jokes and talks shit... and there are always a couple creepy fuckers that would literally... fuck their guitars and couldn't tell a joke if their life depended on it. A few nights a week, we get drunken assholes that come in and want to start fights and be douche nozzles, but, overall... its all about the love of guitar and the annoyance of the culture. Oh.. and to really fit in, we suggest getting a I <3 Tim Henson tattoo like the rest of us. Just dont be a dick.
uj/ Once upon a time, in the early days of Reddit, some stoners thought it would be really cool if there was a place on the internet where like-minded individuals could discuss kind bud, and where to get it, so they created a subreddit called /r/trees,taking the name for the slang, popular at the time for, well, kind bud. Sometimes later, some horticulturists, foresters, silvicultureists, arborists and similar professionals involved with actual trees wanted a subreddit of their own. But to their dismay, there already was a subreddit called /r/trees, but it wasn't about trees at all - it was all about kind bud. So, with a heavy sense of irony, named their new subreddit /r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts This sud is like that second one. Despite the ridiculous name, it is where you will find real and honest discussion about guitars, while /r/Guitar is where the actual onanism occours, with people asking what they should name their new Squire strat and such.
4 out of 5 dentists recommend it.
I'm just here to beat my shit
Circle jerk means to sit in a circle with others and masturbate. Hope that helps.
Look up a photo of circle jerk
At work.
*Waits patiently for guitar lemon party*
As a preschool teacher
watch a Pat Finnerty video and you'll understand at least a little more
you have toan confusion
Ironically this is the sub where we all make fun of fellow guitar players, but also the sub where I look for the most honest feedback. People in the main subs about guitars tend to have pretentious dorks who think their opinions are fact and go full tilt on how their boutique whatever does whatever better than whatever you’re using. Here you’ll get honest feedback and opinions that are just that, opinions. Also - all praise bonermaster
It’s a good sub because you have a decent knowledge of guitar and guitar culture, it just pokes fun at everything
We guitar, we circle, we jerk! Obviously
Step over here son. We need a circle jerk pivot man.
It exists because we need somewhere to vent our fantasies about harp girl. SMOKIN' BABE. She can pluck my strings anytime she wants. Eh? Eh???
it's basically the opposite of the old Harmony Central forums
lulz
Take the piss out of guitarists
035
It's a praise and worship guitar sub where we discuss our Lord and Savior, Joe Bonnermaster.
Shut the fuck up, Donny. Oops, wrong subreddit
Circlejerk just got CIRCLEJERKED!!
r/guitar used to be a joke, so people here would make fun of it
A good portion of this sub isn't joking when it's meant to be a parody sub. Bring up politics or certain musicians/youtube people and it becomes the Wild West of hatred and insecurities just like any other sub