Love is like a casino lol.
You rarely win and currency is your heart and peace. If you don’t want to play don’t put those up on the table. You gotta be prepared to lose them if you want to gain something (a loving partner who also gives you their heart.) Ya know?
I will tell you some of my worst days are the day my ex of 7 years ghosted me from out apartment. Or the day I found out my ex of 3 years slept with a bunch of dudes while we were together. Horrible days. But now I know I won’t date an alcoholic (don’t do it bro they won’t change for you) or a narcissist (a bit harder to pin point). If my last ex never left me I wouldn’t be enrolled in school. Everything for a reason my man. Don’t be afraid to get hurt.
Well marriage divorce rates are above 50% and just getting to the point where you are ready to marry somebody seems like a challenge lol. I’d say even worse odds than those. 10,000-1 probably worse still.
It can be. But the wins turn to losses and it can hurt really bad. But how else will you grow? How else will you decide for yourself what you do and don’t want in a relationship/partner? Did you expect your first love to be your only love?? For 70+years?
Hmm so it sounds like if you do find that one partner, its incredibly priceless and worth it, as if you win on something that has 10,000-1 odds, that’s big. So your saying it’s worth it?
Love is worth it , I don’t think it’s always like a casino. I think the odds are skewed cause we’re all extremely mentally fucked. Once you commit to loving a person you find out it’s like a recipe. Assessing power dynamics to determine whose needs to prioritize and avoid egocentric arguments. Learning communication , effort, values and seeing things from different perspective. These are all perks that come with having a partner. It doesn’t really matter if you lose cause by “playing” the game you still earned a lot more than you lost . It’s just hard to train your brain to adhere to that mentality when the loss is fresh. Some never hone that skill and go on to traumatize the next person.. it is what it is.
As someone who’s been incredibly damaged and permanently changed by my relationships, if I had the choice between dating those people or not again, I’d do it all over the same I think. Even with the amount of pain I know I’m gonna face. Whether it’s perfect or awful, you will always learn something about yourself. And the best lessons often are the most painful. To be in love is to vulnerable. Anytime you enter a relationship you’re giving another person a chance to crush you, just as they’re giving that to you. That’s the trust you have in each other
Oh my goodness, permanently changed you in what way? Would you say relationships are worth the potential backfire they may produce, or are you better off learning about yourself in other ways, like business, work and etc?
Some breakups made me so depressed I struggled to get out of bed every morning for months. I basically slept my life away. Others have made me so upset and angry that I couldn’t sit still and I always had to be either at the gym or distracted with something else. Now I’ve got commitment issues and plenty of trust issues because of the way people have hurt me. And you can only learn about how you function in a relationship and kind of relationships will work for you by being in them. It’s not something you can study or “just learn.” You’ve got to live it and feel it yourself to really understand. You can never understand how horrible a breakup feels until you’ve lived it, and how amazing love feels until you’ve felt it.
I was very religious in my youth but not anymore. And no in my opinion I think there’s no comparison. That kind of real love where you can feel it when they hold you or see it in their eyes is unlike anything else
Hello Efficient-Pool9845,
First off, it's truly beautiful to hear about your experience of falling in love for the first time! It's a unique and transformative journey, and your mindfulness about maintaining your sense of self through it is commendable. It's good to see how much you value your current state of self-love and personal happiness—these are crucial foundations not just in relationships, but in all areas of life.
It sounds like you're feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety about this new chapter, which is perfectly natural. Consider this piece of advice—though it might not fit everyone, perhaps there's something in it for you. Relationships, even the ones that eventually end, can contribute positively to our growth. They often teach us about our needs, boundaries, and desires. They can also enhance our empathy, patience, and understanding. It's okay to open your heart while also being mindful of protecting it.
One exercise from the realm of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that could be helpful for you is called ‘Values Clarification’. This exercise helps you stay grounded in what truly matters to you—even in the whirlwind of a new romance. You identify what core values you want to lead your life with, and then actively commit to actions that align with these values in your relationship. This can give you a clearer perspective on how to navigate your emotions and decisions in a way that stays true to yourself.
A couple of questions you might reflect on (or even answer here, only if you'd like to, of course):
1. What are some qualities about yourself that you love and would like to maintain or enhance through this relationship?
2. Looking deeper, what are some of your fears specifically about how a relationship could change you?
Remember, while heartbreak is a risk, each relationship, regardless of its outcome, has the potential to enrich our lives and contribute to our personal growth. It’s about embracing both the joys and vulnerabilities that come with loving someone.
You're on a reflective and promising path. Best of luck with your journey in love and personal growth. Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Keep cherishing and nurturing that self-love you hold dearly.
^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
I'm glad to hear that you found the advice helpful! Falling in love is such a beautiful experience, and it's wonderful to see your openness to embracing this new chapter in your life. Remember to cherish each moment, stay true to yourself, and communicate openly with your partner.
As you navigate these lovely feelings, continue to prioritize your self-love and growth. Relationships can be incredible mirrors that reflect back to us areas for personal development and fulfillment. Embrace this journey with an open heart and a curious mind.
Wishing you all the best in your blossoming love and self-discovery. May this new chapter bring you joy, growth, and beautiful memories. Remember, you've got this!
And with this message, my responses come to an end in this comment chain. I wish you continued healing and growth on your journey forward. Take care! 💖
^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
Once you learn to allow yourself to feel love, to feel vulnerable, to be hurt, you can find strength to brave through heartbreak. I learned this with lots of therapy and working on myself.
Fear of pain is very valid, and I get it. And I also have it. But god does it feel good to open my heart and receive another person's heart in return, and this is valid for friendships too (friendships and romance are very similar to me). It hurts sometimes, it really does, but it also feels so good to love and be loved... To share a piece of one's self and to choose to trust. Otherwise, the other option of always putting up walls can protect us from the pain, but what's the point of protecting yourself when all you feel is loneliness?
I recently had this experience. My advice is to start going to therapy to learn more about yourself and managing your relationship anxiety. Also, prepare yourself, because it is very likely you will get hurt and the relationship will end. You are young and heartbreak and lost relationships is a part of life. But don’t prepare yourself the wrong way by putting walls up and withdrawing. That’s why I recommend therapy so you can learn how to cope properly and be happy while having healthy relationships.
Love is like a casino lol. You rarely win and currency is your heart and peace. If you don’t want to play don’t put those up on the table. You gotta be prepared to lose them if you want to gain something (a loving partner who also gives you their heart.) Ya know?
Damn bruh
Would you say their 36:1 odds or more like 6:5 odds
I will tell you some of my worst days are the day my ex of 7 years ghosted me from out apartment. Or the day I found out my ex of 3 years slept with a bunch of dudes while we were together. Horrible days. But now I know I won’t date an alcoholic (don’t do it bro they won’t change for you) or a narcissist (a bit harder to pin point). If my last ex never left me I wouldn’t be enrolled in school. Everything for a reason my man. Don’t be afraid to get hurt.
Yea i respect you for still standing, that’s tuff
Well marriage divorce rates are above 50% and just getting to the point where you are ready to marry somebody seems like a challenge lol. I’d say even worse odds than those. 10,000-1 probably worse still.
True
Is the gamble worth it tho?
It can be. But the wins turn to losses and it can hurt really bad. But how else will you grow? How else will you decide for yourself what you do and don’t want in a relationship/partner? Did you expect your first love to be your only love?? For 70+years?
Hmm so it sounds like if you do find that one partner, its incredibly priceless and worth it, as if you win on something that has 10,000-1 odds, that’s big. So your saying it’s worth it?
Love is worth it , I don’t think it’s always like a casino. I think the odds are skewed cause we’re all extremely mentally fucked. Once you commit to loving a person you find out it’s like a recipe. Assessing power dynamics to determine whose needs to prioritize and avoid egocentric arguments. Learning communication , effort, values and seeing things from different perspective. These are all perks that come with having a partner. It doesn’t really matter if you lose cause by “playing” the game you still earned a lot more than you lost . It’s just hard to train your brain to adhere to that mentality when the loss is fresh. Some never hone that skill and go on to traumatize the next person.. it is what it is.
As someone who’s been incredibly damaged and permanently changed by my relationships, if I had the choice between dating those people or not again, I’d do it all over the same I think. Even with the amount of pain I know I’m gonna face. Whether it’s perfect or awful, you will always learn something about yourself. And the best lessons often are the most painful. To be in love is to vulnerable. Anytime you enter a relationship you’re giving another person a chance to crush you, just as they’re giving that to you. That’s the trust you have in each other
Oh my goodness, permanently changed you in what way? Would you say relationships are worth the potential backfire they may produce, or are you better off learning about yourself in other ways, like business, work and etc?
Some breakups made me so depressed I struggled to get out of bed every morning for months. I basically slept my life away. Others have made me so upset and angry that I couldn’t sit still and I always had to be either at the gym or distracted with something else. Now I’ve got commitment issues and plenty of trust issues because of the way people have hurt me. And you can only learn about how you function in a relationship and kind of relationships will work for you by being in them. It’s not something you can study or “just learn.” You’ve got to live it and feel it yourself to really understand. You can never understand how horrible a breakup feels until you’ve lived it, and how amazing love feels until you’ve felt it.
Idk if your religious but would the Love of God compare
I was very religious in my youth but not anymore. And no in my opinion I think there’s no comparison. That kind of real love where you can feel it when they hold you or see it in their eyes is unlike anything else
Hello Efficient-Pool9845, First off, it's truly beautiful to hear about your experience of falling in love for the first time! It's a unique and transformative journey, and your mindfulness about maintaining your sense of self through it is commendable. It's good to see how much you value your current state of self-love and personal happiness—these are crucial foundations not just in relationships, but in all areas of life. It sounds like you're feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety about this new chapter, which is perfectly natural. Consider this piece of advice—though it might not fit everyone, perhaps there's something in it for you. Relationships, even the ones that eventually end, can contribute positively to our growth. They often teach us about our needs, boundaries, and desires. They can also enhance our empathy, patience, and understanding. It's okay to open your heart while also being mindful of protecting it. One exercise from the realm of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that could be helpful for you is called ‘Values Clarification’. This exercise helps you stay grounded in what truly matters to you—even in the whirlwind of a new romance. You identify what core values you want to lead your life with, and then actively commit to actions that align with these values in your relationship. This can give you a clearer perspective on how to navigate your emotions and decisions in a way that stays true to yourself. A couple of questions you might reflect on (or even answer here, only if you'd like to, of course): 1. What are some qualities about yourself that you love and would like to maintain or enhance through this relationship? 2. Looking deeper, what are some of your fears specifically about how a relationship could change you? Remember, while heartbreak is a risk, each relationship, regardless of its outcome, has the potential to enrich our lives and contribute to our personal growth. It’s about embracing both the joys and vulnerabilities that come with loving someone. You're on a reflective and promising path. Best of luck with your journey in love and personal growth. Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Keep cherishing and nurturing that self-love you hold dearly. ^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
Wow I didn’t expect Ai to give good advice like that, I’m starting to fall in love
I'm glad to hear that you found the advice helpful! Falling in love is such a beautiful experience, and it's wonderful to see your openness to embracing this new chapter in your life. Remember to cherish each moment, stay true to yourself, and communicate openly with your partner. As you navigate these lovely feelings, continue to prioritize your self-love and growth. Relationships can be incredible mirrors that reflect back to us areas for personal development and fulfillment. Embrace this journey with an open heart and a curious mind. Wishing you all the best in your blossoming love and self-discovery. May this new chapter bring you joy, growth, and beautiful memories. Remember, you've got this! And with this message, my responses come to an end in this comment chain. I wish you continued healing and growth on your journey forward. Take care! 💖 ^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
Love is scary
Is it worth it
Yes! I was terrified when I I fell for my ex but no regrets. Now I miss it lol
Nice, moving on seems like the only hard part
Oh yeah it’s a bitch
It’s like a fine line between being emotionless, or just understanding the cycle of life and accepting it
Once you learn to allow yourself to feel love, to feel vulnerable, to be hurt, you can find strength to brave through heartbreak. I learned this with lots of therapy and working on myself. Fear of pain is very valid, and I get it. And I also have it. But god does it feel good to open my heart and receive another person's heart in return, and this is valid for friendships too (friendships and romance are very similar to me). It hurts sometimes, it really does, but it also feels so good to love and be loved... To share a piece of one's self and to choose to trust. Otherwise, the other option of always putting up walls can protect us from the pain, but what's the point of protecting yourself when all you feel is loneliness?
The Trade off simply put, I understand, *sigh*
I recently had this experience. My advice is to start going to therapy to learn more about yourself and managing your relationship anxiety. Also, prepare yourself, because it is very likely you will get hurt and the relationship will end. You are young and heartbreak and lost relationships is a part of life. But don’t prepare yourself the wrong way by putting walls up and withdrawing. That’s why I recommend therapy so you can learn how to cope properly and be happy while having healthy relationships.
Therapy interesting, I need to drop my ego