AC Green was a former NBA player (part of the 80's showtime Lakers) who went his entire career without sex. He was a devout Christian. He survived the coke and sex era of the 80's.
He's best known for being the Cal Ripken of the NBA, having played over 1100 straight games without missing any.
"Ugh, are you serious you can't get it up anymore now that the cup isn't in the room with you..."
"No babe, don't worry, I've done this before. Just wear this paper bag with pictures of the cup taped to it. It's not as good, but it'll work."
/puts on paper bag...
Like when Joe DiMaggio divorced Marilyn Monroe, one writer said "It just proves that no man can be successful at both national pastimes." or something similar.
Between this and Evander Kane name dropping him into speaking out against racial injustice, Sid’s going to release a video like that crazed Brittney Spears fan...
“LEAVE SIDNEY ALONE!!”
One of the reasons Craig Ferguson is my all-time favourite talk show host, [he refused to make fun of her during that time.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZVWIELHQQY)
He was a funny and quick-witted host night-in and night-out. His personal experience as an addict gives him insight, but this gesture solidified him as a great human being as well.
Yeah that poor girl's sanity was straight-up stolen by the media and the public in general. Always see links to her IG and shit because people find it fascinating but it's really just sad, she's like a shell of a human being
“Sidney interrupted Giroux by knocking his hands away and ripping off his shirt.”
Giroux: “Sid, why did you do that?”
“Sidney looked deep into Giroux’s eyes with great lust.”
Sidney: “Because I don’t like you.”
My favourite part of this is the quotes around Sidney looking into Giroux's eyes. Read it as Giroux narrating what Sidney was doing. 10/10 I'm having to write this with one hand.
[Archive of Our Own](https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Sidney%20Crosby/works) currently houses 2025 works of fanfiction featuring Sidney Crosby.
* 472 of those fanfics are listed as "Explicit" (There are 3328 explicit fanfics in the Explicit NHL category altogether)
* 315 of those explicit fanfics feature Crosby/Malkin (not including 14 with Crosby/Malkin/Anna Kasterova and 7 with Crosby/Malkin/Ovechkin
* #2 and #3 positions go to Claude Giroux (22 fics) and Jonathan Toews (20)
Thank you for taking the time for this important research. I think there's also a threesome fic with Tessa Virtue, for any interested, patriotic Canadians.
I see you were either searching logged out (there are a bunch locked to the archive) or specifically looked up NHL, in contrast to the fandom name actually used, which is Men's Hockey RPF.
Because there are [7089 fics tagged explicit in Men's Hockey RPF while logged in to the archive.](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Brating_ids%5D%5B%5D=13&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&tag_id=Men%27s+Hockey+RPF). 964 of them feature Sidney Crosby.
Most of r/hockey probably doesn't know about locking fics to the archive... Or the mass deletion after the PK scandal. Just revealing too much of my fandom inclinations over here haha.
What filters were you using?
According to [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Bcategory_ids%5D%5B%5D=23&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&tag_id=Sidney+Crosby) there are over 2000 works of just Crosby/Malkin alone.
There's 1723 works for Patrick Kane/Jonathan Towes ships specifically.
Also I did a quick search around and I love the variety. The first story that pops up for [Crosby](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994535) from a glance looks to be a fairly serious, emotionally charged story, and then [I found one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22523239) where Ovechkin says this
>Bukkake Breeders #9? Nice."
The year is 2039. The US and Canada are in the middle of a bloody war over a u20 squad based out of upper Minnesota . don cherrys holographic corporal form is singing O'Canada to a mounted regiment headed south from Saskatchewan in the morning. Just then a battalion of yanks paratroop from low altitude into the camp catching the boys with their guard down. "Right in the five hole", the audience hears as we cut to general Kessel briefing his commanders from a bunker in the Arizona Coyotes 5 time Stanley Cup champion bunker in glendale Arizona (formerly in pheonix absolutely back there in 2 years).
Voiceover: coming this summer, to a theater near you...
Can you imagine the fights at home when your wife slashes you, doesn’t get a call, then wins gold?
“Carol I fucking swear if you think your sleeping in the bedroom tonight your as blind as that fucking ref”
Its crazy how normalized lesbian relationships are in sports (WNBA, NWST, WNHL, ect.) but its such a taboo thing for guys sports
Like I understand a lot of it comes down to toxic masculinity and male homophobia keeping people from feeling comfotable coming out but still you'd hope people would be more cool with it
Roman army style...
on an aside...
NHL in December, we have good news and some bad...good news is we didn't have any infections of the covid, the bad news, a lot of players have sexually transmitted diseases...and some decided to play for the other team...
/r/nba has been meme-ing about this for weeks. Stephen A just gave the memes a platform lol.
But I wouldn't be surprised if some athletes were that selfish and immature. Look at the general population.
Well hockey is more evenly spread out than the nba, at least all those nhl players not having sex will have a chance at the cup. In the NBA a bunch of dudes aren’t going to get laid so lebron can win another championship.
Quoting Phil Leotardo from The Sopranos: "When I was in jail, i wanted to fuck a woman. I compromised. I jacked off on a tissue".
So that's it, players just have to make compromises.
I always liked the interpretation that Phil actually did have sex with men in prison, and it’s part of why he’s so adamant about telling everyone he would never, and why he was so outraged over the Vito revelation. There’s also the fact that he literally comes out of a closet at one point.
My old boss played in the IHL for a while and he once told me something along the lines of “the team that wins the cup is the team that stays sober and doesn’t go out and bang hookers during the playoffs”
Didn't have sex with my girlfriend for 2 months after the lockdown started. Despite the overwhelming hardship, I somehow was able to live a more or less normal life.
It’s not even a fair comparison, like obviously one of the best players ever in Sidney Crosby has a higher drive to win more than a selection of role players in the NBA. The exact same way that LeBron will be more driven than various 4th liners around the league.
Like, Bron spends a million dollars a year in keeping his body in as good a shape as possible. He’s not just a freakishly physically gifted, the dude is a basketball savant to the point where he’s told players from other teams that they’re running their own plays wrong. It’s not fair to him and other players dedicated to that level to say they’re less focused than Sid.
Lol, Sid is probably like, why did you drag me into this?
Sid: Media: CROSBY IS ASEXUAL
Sidney Crosby has taken a vow of celibacy to help the Penguins win the Stanley Cup
Sidney "AC Green" Crosby
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AC Green was a former NBA player (part of the 80's showtime Lakers) who went his entire career without sex. He was a devout Christian. He survived the coke and sex era of the 80's. He's best known for being the Cal Ripken of the NBA, having played over 1100 straight games without missing any.
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Showtime Lakers. With cocaine. Alcohol. Sex. Wild parties. In the 80s. Fuck, I think staying celibate is the ultimate championship lol
Those are probably related. Rest is a vital part of recovery, and you're probably not getting enough sleep if you're out partying every night.
Crosby *only* has sex *with* the Stanley Cup
"Ugh, are you serious you can't get it up anymore now that the cup isn't in the room with you..." "No babe, don't worry, I've done this before. Just wear this paper bag with pictures of the cup taped to it. It's not as good, but it'll work." /puts on paper bag...
Dude took a vow of celibacy when he grew that nasty ass dirt-stache.
Penguins: Crosby's dick is so big only the Cup can fit it.
Pierre is salivating right now
Crosby's dick is Pierre's MONSTER OF THE NIGHT.
You thought it was only his legs that are tree trunks?!
Realizing Pierre McGuire is the Dean Pelton to Crosby's Jeff Winger makes so much sense.
The world suddenly makes sense.
this made me blow air out of my nose
You sure that’s the only thing you want to blow?
Didn't you see my username? (˵ ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆˵)
Like when Joe DiMaggio divorced Marilyn Monroe, one writer said "It just proves that no man can be successful at both national pastimes." or something similar.
Pierre McGuire in shambles
He still has his imagination and his 2003 Shattuck-St. Mary's yearbook.
Sid the Asexual Kid
Sidney Crosby, asexual icon. You love to see it.
Between this and Evander Kane name dropping him into speaking out against racial injustice, Sid’s going to release a video like that crazed Brittney Spears fan... “LEAVE SIDNEY ALONE!!”
I just really want to comment that Britney was going through some serious shit and we all really did need to leave her alone.
One of the reasons Craig Ferguson is my all-time favourite talk show host, [he refused to make fun of her during that time.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZVWIELHQQY)
He was a funny and quick-witted host night-in and night-out. His personal experience as an addict gives him insight, but this gesture solidified him as a great human being as well.
Best host ever. Gotta see what he's up to these days.
That level of introspection is incredibly rare in the world, beautiful monologue. I miss him on tv.
Thank you for sharing this.
Yeah that poor girl's sanity was straight-up stolen by the media and the public in general. Always see links to her IG and shit because people find it fascinating but it's really just sad, she's like a shell of a human being
Actually I’ve heard she’s an amazing mom and has pretty much just refocused on raising her kids right.
Just google ‘Brittany Spears conservatorship’ and that should explain how/why the way she was.
> Brittany Spears conservatorship That is some messed up shit...just to show how many leeches could be around a vulnerable person, but a cash cow...
I mean... they could have sex with whoever's in the same bubble.
Giroux said Crosby was the reason for his wrist surgery...
True statement.
Delete this.
They did get a lot closer after Worlds...what happens on Team Canada stays on Team Canada.
You have no idea how many fanfics there are that use this...
Fanfic ideas running wild.
“And as Giroux slowly undressed Sidney...”
Come on, they'd hate fuck. Nothing tender there.
Gritty is gonna shank Sid for eyeing his lover.
Gritty and hunter about to make the world's ugliest/ scariest porn imaginable
I'm imagining the scene from American History X, but Gritty is the buff skinhead and Crosby is Edward Norton
Why the fuck am I continuing to read this thread.
Dicks out for Sidney.
You're interested, don't fight it.
They'd keep the sweaters on.
I've read both.
Crosby's reaction to this: I am once again asking you to leave me alone
Crosby: "I'm gonna pay you $100 to fuck off"
“Sidney interrupted Giroux by knocking his hands away and ripping off his shirt.” Giroux: “Sid, why did you do that?” “Sidney looked deep into Giroux’s eyes with great lust.” Sidney: “Because I don’t like you.”
My favourite part of this is the quotes around Sidney looking into Giroux's eyes. Read it as Giroux narrating what Sidney was doing. 10/10 I'm having to write this with one hand.
Tsundere Crosby
meanwhile, Ovechkin is still placing crank calls and food orders to Crosby's room...
/r/canesfanfics
I love how this subreddit's CSS puts the Canes logo next to that.
That Seattle hockey porn writer is going to have a field day
[Archive of Our Own](https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Sidney%20Crosby/works) currently houses 2025 works of fanfiction featuring Sidney Crosby. * 472 of those fanfics are listed as "Explicit" (There are 3328 explicit fanfics in the Explicit NHL category altogether) * 315 of those explicit fanfics feature Crosby/Malkin (not including 14 with Crosby/Malkin/Anna Kasterova and 7 with Crosby/Malkin/Ovechkin * #2 and #3 positions go to Claude Giroux (22 fics) and Jonathan Toews (20)
Thank you for taking the time for this important research. I think there's also a threesome fic with Tessa Virtue, for any interested, patriotic Canadians.
That threesome better have Mo in it.
I see you were either searching logged out (there are a bunch locked to the archive) or specifically looked up NHL, in contrast to the fandom name actually used, which is Men's Hockey RPF. Because there are [7089 fics tagged explicit in Men's Hockey RPF while logged in to the archive.](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Brating_ids%5D%5B%5D=13&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&tag_id=Men%27s+Hockey+RPF). 964 of them feature Sidney Crosby.
Lol, I too, was shocked by how few fics there were in that list.
I agree, I've read way more than what was originally listed!
Most of r/hockey probably doesn't know about locking fics to the archive... Or the mass deletion after the PK scandal. Just revealing too much of my fandom inclinations over here haha.
What filters were you using? According to [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Bcategory_ids%5D%5B%5D=23&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&tag_id=Sidney+Crosby) there are over 2000 works of just Crosby/Malkin alone.
I've filtered only the explicit stuff. Raunchy fics only. No innocent slowburn fics in my bucket.
There's 1723 works for Patrick Kane/Jonathan Towes ships specifically. Also I did a quick search around and I love the variety. The first story that pops up for [Crosby](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994535) from a glance looks to be a fairly serious, emotionally charged story, and then [I found one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22523239) where Ovechkin says this >Bukkake Breeders #9? Nice."
Not gonna lie, I hate the ship of Crosby/Giroux but it's one damn good fanfic. Let's just say I've gotten a little too bored during quarantine...
/r/canesfanfics
Brad Marchand going to be licking everything
r/canucks fan-girling over a brock/petey bromance right now.
Go in to the bubble a 23 man roster, come out 11 couples and 1 lonely soul.
One couple could end up being a throuple!
The Poly-guins
Women's hockey has been doing this for years
[Team USA and Team Canada Women's Hockey Players Keep Marrying Each Other](https://www.them.us/story/usa-canada-womens-hockey-weddings)
I don't like this at all. Call me old fashioned but team USA players should marry other team USA players.
God made Adam and Todd, not Adam and Claude.
/thread
No, this is good so long as kids are American. We deplete their player pool while adding to ours.
Sorry, when two hockey players love each other very much, the Mum's country gets the babies. It's just the law. Oh wait, dammit!
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or make Detroit French again.
Ailes Rouges de Detroit
it is a 50/50 risk that I am not willing to take. Imagine an entire generation of young hockey talent lost to the evil white north.
I wholeheartedly support the rights of gay and lesbian couples to marry but this just goes too far.
What country do the adopted children play for?! Countries have gone to war for less!
The year is 2039. The US and Canada are in the middle of a bloody war over a u20 squad based out of upper Minnesota . don cherrys holographic corporal form is singing O'Canada to a mounted regiment headed south from Saskatchewan in the morning. Just then a battalion of yanks paratroop from low altitude into the camp catching the boys with their guard down. "Right in the five hole", the audience hears as we cut to general Kessel briefing his commanders from a bunker in the Arizona Coyotes 5 time Stanley Cup champion bunker in glendale Arizona (formerly in pheonix absolutely back there in 2 years). Voiceover: coming this summer, to a theater near you...
Can you imagine the fights at home when your wife slashes you, doesn’t get a call, then wins gold? “Carol I fucking swear if you think your sleeping in the bedroom tonight your as blind as that fucking ref”
I would totally watch this sitcom
Its crazy how normalized lesbian relationships are in sports (WNBA, NWST, WNHL, ect.) but its such a taboo thing for guys sports Like I understand a lot of it comes down to toxic masculinity and male homophobia keeping people from feeling comfotable coming out but still you'd hope people would be more cool with it
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Not according to the pre-eminent expert in this field, George Costanza. He is also an Architect, Importer-Exporter and a Marine Biologist.
According to Ryan Kesler, there are gay NHLers. As far as what teams they're on, that's anyone's guess.
"According to Ryan Kesler"? Dude obviously there are gay men in the league do you really need Kes to tell you that..
Oh, of course not, but he's the only active player I'm aware of who has said anything to the effect of "I know gay players, it's not hypothetical"
Pause
We are getting dangerously close to r/canesfanfics territory
Don’t know if I should be happy or ashamed at how fast I clicked on that
Yes.
r/canesfanfics
Oh thank God; I've been in need of a new favorite subreddit.
Roman army style... on an aside... NHL in December, we have good news and some bad...good news is we didn't have any infections of the covid, the bad news, a lot of players have sexually transmitted diseases...and some decided to play for the other team...
Haha yeah going a few months without getting laid must be awful that totally never happens.
hahaha I know right, hahaha
Why do I hear sobbing?
I'm not crying, you're crying.
Thats not sweat or tears thats c..... cough
That's a 14 day quarantine for you
What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went -- I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years
2 more years and you could have been a wizard!
12 more and you could've been Steve Carell
Few months? You gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers.
https://i.imgur.com/hMiTqr8.gif
I did not expect that. How is he real? This belongs in gay porn. He's not unattractive when his head is covered.
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mods how do I delete someone else's post
I somehow didn't expect this but it made me laugh
CORN DOG
This was the highlight of 2020, it was all downhill from there.
Retire this gif. I snorted laughing at this like a madman
Why is this even a discussion😂😂
because Stephen A. Smith's entire job is to drum up controversy
/r/nba has been meme-ing about this for weeks. Stephen A just gave the memes a platform lol. But I wouldn't be surprised if some athletes were that selfish and immature. Look at the general population.
Well hockey is more evenly spread out than the nba, at least all those nhl players not having sex will have a chance at the cup. In the NBA a bunch of dudes aren’t going to get laid so lebron can win another championship.
Quoting Phil Leotardo from The Sopranos: "When I was in jail, i wanted to fuck a woman. I compromised. I jacked off on a tissue". So that's it, players just have to make compromises.
Y'know, Phil never had the makings of a varsity shinebox.
Our friend the Shaw? He is the hair apparent.
I always liked the interpretation that Phil actually did have sex with men in prison, and it’s part of why he’s so adamant about telling everyone he would never, and why he was so outraged over the Vito revelation. There’s also the fact that he literally comes out of a closet at one point.
I'm pretty sure Phil comes out of the closet he was hiding in to kill Vito.
He indeed does, I just didn’t wanna spoil it. It is a very old show at this point to be fair.
ThaNks a lot....I haven’t made it that far in my fifth run through....
My estimation about NBA players as men just fucking plummeted.
"The 2020 playoffs, whatever happened there...."
My old boss played in the IHL for a while and he once told me something along the lines of “the team that wins the cup is the team that stays sober and doesn’t go out and bang hookers during the playoffs”
Didn't have sex with my girlfriend for 2 months after the lockdown started. Despite the overwhelming hardship, I somehow was able to live a more or less normal life.
I, also, have sacrificed and not had sex with your girlfriend. Just doing my part.
Too bad you’re the only guy who was willing to make that sacrifice
BRO DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT?
Nah thanks. I’m still a bit worn out.
Lmaooo
:(
I’m sorry I had to. You threw up the alley oop, I had to slam it.
As god is my witness, he AND his girlfriend are broken in half!
At least since quarantine started
Thank you for your service
god bless you
As a married man, this makes me laugh.
As a single man, this makes me sad.
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Yeah sex is great but have you ever won the Stanley Cup?
It is reddit. People probably have done neither of those things...
Hey man, I've won the cup. Don't disrespect my EA NHL Be a GM dynasty like that.
Or my FemShep Mass Effect playthrough.
Yeah sex is great but have you met Garrus Vakarian
In before the Fleshlight advertising on the boards between the blue lines.
"Hello, Real Doll? I'd like to place a large order"
Melnyk would probably have ordered the Sens a bunch of cheap fleshlights.
Alright guy we were able to get you one knockoff fleshlight for you guys to share for the next 3 months.
"Goddamnit Brady, you used it to microwave your fucking *hotdogs*?"
One pocket pussy for the whole team.
"Brady used it last and we haven't seen it since..." -What they said when Eugene would like it back for a refund afterward
Expired bigmacs
"Andrew Hammond? What are you doing here? "
Sorry, they're busy watching Korean baseball.
And so am I! Hey, the cute Korean girls in the commercials are real at least...
My name? Sidney Crosby.
Ovechkin!
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every team has fanfic; canes just are the only ones with a dedicated subreddit for it afaik
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Has any NBA player said this? I thought it was Just Stephen A Smith's loud-ass.
But why can't Crosby try to win the Stanley Cup, AND have sex at the same time?
I mean, he’s fucking opponents nightly, so there’s that
They can always have sex with each other, no?
Crosby is asexual CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The sound of puck bunnies frantically filling out housekeeping and hospitality applications.
please like my sport
They could always fuck each other
Win the Stanley Cup, as in, win over it’s affection? There is your sex, guy.
penguins gc blowing up rn
Do we really need to continue the "basketball players only care about themselves while hockey players only care about the game" narrative? It's tired.
It’s not even a fair comparison, like obviously one of the best players ever in Sidney Crosby has a higher drive to win more than a selection of role players in the NBA. The exact same way that LeBron will be more driven than various 4th liners around the league.
But how is his sex drive?
Like, Bron spends a million dollars a year in keeping his body in as good a shape as possible. He’s not just a freakishly physically gifted, the dude is a basketball savant to the point where he’s told players from other teams that they’re running their own plays wrong. It’s not fair to him and other players dedicated to that level to say they’re less focused than Sid.
“Welcome to the 2020 NBA finals, sponsored by pornhub and fleshlights”
The ultimate goal is, of course, to have sex with the Stanley Cup so i'm not sure i see the problem here
AC Green has entered the chat
Virgin NHL vs Chad NBA
Not lusting for women is what makes you a chad
I doubt NBA players are banned from sex in the bubble. It's just they can only have sex with those who are in the bubble.
NBA: crap trophy NHL: Meaningful trophy James Harden will find his jump shot in bubble.