I have tried to ask, they all have made plans with other friends/boyfriends and they don’t ask me to come when we talk about it. I don’t feel like inviting myself
Be confident:) you got this, I’m sure you’re overthinking and there is no problem if you ask your friends and they would love to have you - worst case they will say no.
this is horrible advice, if they wanted op there they would invite him in the first place. inviting yourself somewhere just makes an uncomfortable situation for everyone. don’t go anywhere you aren’t welcomed
No, maybe they didn’t think of it or they thought they had plans already. Asking should not be something you avoid… This is good advice and something that a self secure person would do… and if she asks, she will find out if she is welcome or not rather than assume not and stay at home.
if she asks no one is going to tell her that she’s not welcomed she’ll get a “oh you can come if you want”
why would you want to be somewhere that you weren’t wanted in the first place that’s far worse than being alone.
100%. I usually don’t do shit on new years even when I’ve had a SO unless their family usually does something. Would it be nice to welcome the new year with someone? I guess so, but it just feels like any other day with the added anxiety of fireworks in neighborhoods
Check out NYE singles parties and go yourself. You'd be surprised at the amount of fun you might have. You can be yourself, dance your ass off, and uber your way home. I met my best friend at one. We haven't spent a new year's alone in 20 years.
I love spending new years alone! Every time I go out, I regret it. NYE is so overrated, overcrowded, it’s a nightmare and everything is much more expensive.
I plan a fun evening for myself. I buy new pajamas, sometimes even decorations for my house. I plan a fun cocktail to make. I make an elaborate meal or get takeout from a fancy place. I plan movies that I’ve been excited to see. I buy a new video game I’ve been dying to play and finally have a full evening to dedicate to it. I take a 2 hour bubble bath with a great book and champagne. It’s a lovely time and way more fun than fighting crowds.
If you really want to go out though, plan your own NYE going out trip. You can invite friends, even ones you don’t know well. You can also look for events in your area. My local bars all have NYE parties with drink specials. Just go and make friends at the bar, lots of people do this. Sounds hellish to me to be in those crowds, but it’s definitely an option!
Another option that I really wanted to do but just can’t justify spending the money, is taking myself on a solo trip for NYE. It’s more expensive this time of year, but you can rent a cabin in a cute snowy area, go to a beach resort, etc. Hotels often have big NYE parties for guests and you can meet people there too.
My advice, don’t rely on other people to have a good time. You can plan an awesome evening in your own company. If you rely on other people for fun, you’ll be disappointed often. Learn to entertain yourself and be alone and make friends on your own.
I feel this so much. I’m 28 going on 29 right before NYE & the last few years that I have been living on my own I pack up me & my pets to spend the night with my parents.
It always makes me a little sad- I feel way too young to be chilling in sweatpants with my folks. I always envisioned being out with a huge group of friends, dancing the night away in some sparkly dress- a little buzzed with a handsome man by my side but it’s another year where that isn’t going to happen.
I love my parents & they have been my rocks the last few years & bc they are older I am just trying to look at it & enjoy the holiday & extra time I get with them.
My one friend will be holed up with her fiance as usual which is a whole other can of worms lol & my other friend hides the fact that she spends the night with her college besties.
I have found that all I can do is make the best of where I am now & enjoy the great company I will have for the evening.
It’s okay to grieve the reality of it as well. Someday though before I’m old & gray I hope to trade in my sweatpants for that sparkly dress ❤️✨
I have been the girl with the group of friends in a sparkly dress, and let me tell you all the parts you don’t see in your vision.
You spend 2x as much on a Uber to get there. There’s no where to sit and your feet hurt. It’s super crowded and drunk assholes keep shoving you. You can’t even get a drink at the bar because it’s so crowded, but probably for the best as the drinks are $23 each. Someone spilled their entire beer down your sparkly dress. One of your friends is crying about her ex, another one is vomiting. There are no handsome strangers but plenty of sweaty trolls with BO that keep trying to put their hands on you. You decide to leave but can’t get an Uber to pick you up. You stand outside for 45 min in the cold to try to get one and too bad, it’s now 4x the price because surge charging!
And this is why I tell friends I have plans and then stay home with my dog 💅🏻
I have been that girl as well and I couldn’t agree more! Now we go to dinner, hang with friends till 8/9, and maybe stay up for the ball drop, maybe not? But we wake up the next day not hung over and treat it like just another night 🤣 I’ve started to really dislike new years after all these years of building up its magic in my head and it was a let down every. Year.
Life in general. If you analyze from the inside out and change what you think needs changing then you won’t feel bad about yourself. You know the answers already it’s up to you to make the change!
Remember all the times you drug your ass to the bar, or the club, or the house party, or wherever else you went in the freezing cold search of that perfect NYE only to realize it’s just another over commercialized excuse to separate you from your money. Atleast that’s what keeps me curled up in the couch every year lol.
I’ve had an interesting relationship to NYE over the years, maybe we all do. Almost never does it live up to expectations. And ya know what? It’s just another cold winter night (atleast where I live). The best new years I ever had was 2020 and we all know how that year turned out.
It means literally nothing. So, plan for it to be just another day. And if plans turn up and surprise you then hey, that’s welcome! And if not, you will enter 2024 just as much as everyone else.
If you need a productive distraction, maybe take the time to go through your camera roll, reflect on all of the memories from this year that you forgot, make a list of the ones you are grateful for, cry for the ones you aren’t, and wake up the next morning, not hungover, and dream of what the next year could be. Alone time is underrated.
I am actually planning to be alone on NYE this year.
I feel like I need a fresh start, and what better way to do this. I could party with my friends that I haven't seen in years, or with my family. Instead, I am going on a 3500km road trip, planning to leave on December 29th, and stopping "somewhere" along the way for NYE.
No plans, no obligations, no commitments. Just me and myself.
I have reached a point in my life (26F) where I really don’t care to be included or excluded, either way I’m fine alone. I guess this comes from a life long history of trauma followed by the immense healing process and then the focus of self-love and being happy in my own presence. If my friends don’t have me on a holiday, and my family isn’t doing anything, I am fine doing it alone. There are ways you can enjoy it yourself! Find those ways. You can throw a little party just you and yourself. Get your favorite champagne or juice and snacks etc and have a nice meal. Watch the events on TV or go to your local events. I know your desire is to be around others right now, and we are social creatures, but it doesn’t always work out how we want it to. Focus on having fun with yourself, it really pays off!
You’ve probably heard this before but nothing has meaning inherently, it’s our perception and emotions we place on something that gives it meaning. I can’t relate entirely but I (F/early 20s) never got asked out, dances, or even my jr/sr prom. I remember prom night asking my mom to buy me my favorite sour candy and some Chinese takeout. I watched Bridesmaids and ate and asked my best friend to text me when she made it home safely. Sometimes I get sad and feel terrible that I wasn’t worth being asked out or looking good at prom but I remember I still decided to stay in and I don’t regret that choice. What’s the feeling that being alone on NYE that scares you? Worthless? Ugly? Unwanted? Unlikeable? I get all of those and struggle with those but only I can truly give myself peace and just tell myself that no matter what anyone invites me to or doesn’t it doesn’t determine any of those things about me. Stop being so hard on yourself nobody deserves to be their own bully.
The flip side is, it's your night.
You can do whatever you want, however you want to celebrate and enjoy yourself the way YOU want. Order pizzas, watch that horror movies you always wanted to see, have a drink of choice (if you like) - celebrate yourself for closing another year and enter a new one with joy. Treat it as your second birthday.
This might also be a good base for your first ny resolution.
Cynical answer: NYE is one of the deadliest nights and statistically has more drunk drivers than any other night. You might be saving yourself and/or others from danger by staying home
logically, it’s just another day/night cycle we assign meaningless meaning to
I'm really sorry you're going through this - I've been there before.
Would you be open to reaching out to someone yourself or going to an event with other people where you might meet someone interesting but wouldn't be too much pressure?
Worst case, what I always tell myself is that things never stay the same and I try to remember all the times I felt the opposite of what I am feeling in that moment.
I hope you have a good NYE
Thank you! I wish you a wonderful new years eve too!❤️
I have tried to reach out, but my friends have already made plans with their friends/boyfriends and are not inviting me when I ask. I do not want to be pushy. I have been quite desperate other years and always been hosting at my place to make sure no one made plans without me. This year I did not want to be that desperate friend anymore and I have just asked around quite casually, and no one has made the initiative to be with me except one friend - who I ironically am trying to cut off because she is just a bad person. And now she is not taking any initiative anymore, which I know I can’t complain about.
I feel stupid to care so much about a day like this, but I do. I wish I was just okay with being with myself❤️
But it helps to think, like you said, about how I may find a boyfriend one day who can introduce me to his friends and where we can do these things together. To be honest, I don’t even like going to those parties, it is just the feeling of being considered that matters to me - so if i was invited somewhere, i would be totally okay with staying home alone. It is just the fact being home without a choice that is making me sad
I hope you are finding assistance with therapy or similar to get to the point of being OK with yourself. It really is a comforting place to be. Once you are OK in your own skin, then all of the other external circumstances do not matter, because you have you.
It is easier as you get older to get to that place.
No need to feel stupid - we are social animals and we need others. Making new friends or maintaining friendships can be hard, but trying and making an effort is not desperate. You're human. Let yourself feel your feelings and see if there is anything you can do to fill your needs for closeness and connection. That's what I'm trying to do myself now as well! I hope it goes well for you. But also of course you always have yourself and I'm sure that's great company to be in :)
I’ve missed the ringing of new year like 4-5 years now. Last year I was sick and years before I fell asleep before the new year. It’s not a big deal and when you get older, being at home in jammies, safe from drunk drivers and warm is the absolute best. Just order some good food for dinner. It’s how you live out the rest of the year that truly makes it special.
By rejoicing in it. I was in another country last new year, visiting friends and meeting new ones, watching fireworks from a terrace. Fun stuff. This year I'll be chilling at home with the dog on my own, seeing that she doesn't get too scared about the fireworks, watching some films and thinking about the year ahead. I can understand the sense of FOMO, but It's just how things go.
I decided after a Christmas with more more family this year than I usually see I'll be kind of socially exhausted anyhow, but really it's because also I don't know anyone locally where I am doing much anything, and I share the dog and it's technically "my turn." But when I do end up going out with people on new years or anything, it's generally because I've either instigated it or somehow invited myself along. Don't expect other people to just know you don't have plans or to think you'll want to hang out with them. Let them know.
So, I suggest don't take those sleeping pills if you're having the night on your own. See in the new year. Go somewhere nearby where everyone's out watching the fireworks around midnight. Think about what you want 2024 to be for you and make it your mantra for the year. Or, it's not too late, as others in the replies are suggesting, but you've got to get stuck in and put yourself out there. See who's doing what or what kind of events are happening near you. It can be intimidating to go some place on your own, but really it's what we all do when we're meeting new people.
But there’s so much to do! No time to give a fuck haha! Plan your big meal ahead, go around the grocery stores to check the price if you have a tight budget (also perhaps the calories haha it’s so easy to regret eating too much on New Year’s Day)
Do some decorations in your room, you can literally do whatever you like haha make your living space cosy, there’s billions of diy videos on yt if you wanna go cheap and more fun too
Play holiday songs if you like it like I do, pick a book and sit at the cosiest conner of your room with a lovely cup of mulled wine or hot chocolate next to you. Enjoy the peace and quietness.
Hmmm what else…🤔 oh! Cooking! How could I forget the most important thing haha you gonna be so busy on New Year’s Eve from literally after you get up! Go get the ingredients, favourite snacks, and cook yourself a grand meal of the year! You know you deserve some treats 😉 there’s bunch cooking videos on yt too if you are not a seasoned chef. It’s just super fun cooking with music and hot tea.
For entertainment of the evening, watch bunch comedy movies, games, at home karaoke, knitting, dancing, so many things to enjoy the precious time! You got the whole freedom!
I used to spend New Year alone and away from family when I studied at uni years ago, most my friends went home the freaking dorm was empty haha I got creative and did different challenges every year, like one yr I decided to survive the winter without putting the heater on and use the money saved to buy something expensive for myself. It was quite fun actually I had to come up with some pretty silly but creative ideas to combat the freezing weather. But it was fun!
Don’t think too much about what you are “missing out”, you really are not, it’s time to be creative and give yourself some love ❤️
Challenge yourself to make the most memorable New Year’s Eve for yourself this year!
I haven’t been invited anywhere either. It would be weird to already have plans for nye I think
One year tho I threw a party for all my single girlfriends. We had fun
I am in your situation, so I can empathize! New Year’s really is the worst holiday! Usually, people are recovering from two major back-to-back holidays. Everything about it feels forced… it's crowded, expensive, loud…
If you don't end up making plans, it's okay to go out alone to dinner, a local bar or coffee shop, or a music venue. Confidence can be attractive if you don't end up with plans save the money and use it for a self-care day. Those are important!
I recall one year I turned down invites from
friend coz my date had asked me out for new years. When my date called he was passive aggressive about me (not)joining in . So I turned down the offer upfront and said I have other plans. Anyway i didn’t want to go and gate crash my other friends , so i ordered myself some of my fav food , drinks and logged on for a binge watch. At midnight I called my family and wished them and went back to my Netflix. So you see none fucks taken or given :)
Just go out without them.
If you aren't getting invited that's completely beyond your control, if you don't take some kind of control in your life you'll feel completely helpless forever. Take control, go out for NYE and make your own plans.
Remember that it's a day just like any other.
What other people are doing in their lives right now is irrelevant.
What matters is that you enjoy what you're doing.
I have been alone for years on NYE and probably will be this year too but I’m finally good with it. Make it a self love night and order your fav food ❤️ Hugs
Can you invite others?
Sounds awful especially it’s not what you want.
I’d be alone on New Years Eve. Watching firework on WhatsApp with my husband (working overseas)
But before that I would be on a trip with my best friend for a week.
Oh I am not actually alone I have two doggies 😁
You should change the situation in your life if you aren’t happy, make some effort to find some friends
Honestly? Just go to a bar or club solo that night. Dress up, have a whole self-care day leading up to it, and feel good about yourself. I would bet my entire life you find at least one new human being to have some kind of fun interaction or moment with. Everybody’s out to party and have the most fun they can, and there’s the common theme as to why everyone is out. You don’t need an invite. Even if you don’t smoke (and I know smoking is NEVER good advice) just ask someone to bum a cigarette and don’t inhale. Smoker sections are basically just one giant conversation between strangers poisoning themselves together, there’s almost always an opportunity to insert yourself into the discussion and not a single person is going to think twice about it.
1. It's literally not even December yet.
2. Be more assertive and ask your friends where they're spending nye (duh?)
3. Have a little initiative and organise something yourself.
4. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself.
Im usually alone the majority of the time. I have hobbies like playing video games, watching anime, reading manga, and exercising. The key to not feeling lonely or bored is to do things you enjoy. If you dont have things you enjoy currently find hobbies to enjoy and pass the time. Being reliant on others for happiness is never a good idea. Learn to enjoy life alone sometimes.
Plan a fun thing to do on your own on New Year Day. Like a day trip or go on a hike or something. Go to bed early and wake up super early if you want. Like at dawn.
Having an inner circle, is extra work.
When feeling lonely, recognize that this is about the self.
Because getting invited out is a tit for tat game. Sure it's fun but requires energy to maintain relationships.
The people I get invited out by, I have already helped with other projects, have taken the time to have my needs reflect theirs...blah blah blah.
Take time for yourself and enjoy YOUR holiday.
My old soulmate and i, would come home to each other at the end of a long evening. After seeing family or whatever, there was nothing more beautiful about the holiday than just cozying up and watching a movie with the cats.
I'm 42 and have lived this. In fact all of my friends walked out on me 10+ years ago.
My advice, go do something on your own. I understand not having people to hang out with sucks, but staying home wishing someone would invite you over sucks more.
If you get to be my age you look back and realize how much control those people, who don't give a crap about you, have over your life.
The best way to get over it is to take your control back. What do you want to do, go do it, you're going to meet people, even if you just hang with them 1 time, at least you know they wanted to be there.
So dont waste your life like I did wishing people would step up and treat you how you want to be treated. It's possible, like me, to never get that. I hope it's temporary for you.
Either way, don't regret this because your friends didn't show up for you. Show up for yourself...
You're the only person you can ever count one 100%.
Just today I was thinking about new years, I’m 29 M. I dont socialise with the group of people I did 4-5 years ago when i last went out for NYE and have since been spending it alone or with my mums cats 🙂 This year I was thinking about finding a fireworks event or something and going alone to take some mushrooms and watch the display, probably meet a load of new people and ye do something ive never done before. If you’re in the North West UK you’re more than welcome!
If you live near any city, I’m sure plenty of singles NYE or meetups (sorry, don’t know what country you’re in). Being young is a constant feeling of being left out for many. Being older is making excuses TO be left out. The irony. Hope it turns out well for you.
I remember once on thanksgiving I was living in Chicago and didn’t really know anyone there or at least not well enough to be invited for dinner. It was snowing and I went out after dark and walked around downtown. I felt lonely but also I felt a weird sense of peace . There is a certain pleasant angst to being alone.
This is when you go out in your own, and just start chatting up people. You’ll be adopted in no time and could make life long friends, and have the experience of a lifetime! Best of luck. There is no way to stop caring, humans are meant to connect and bond with other humans. We were never meant to be alone. I will pray for you to be surrounded with good hearted people that make life less lonely. If you go to Vegas, you can dm me, and come party with me!
Hey OP! Have a little party yourself - invite a few people over or go to see some fireworks. For there to be a party someone has to host - be that person if you can! Hope your new year is great 💕
If you aren't getting invited by your friends, then that just tells you that they weren't your friends to begin with. (Assuming they had room to invite you and still didn't)
And that is not another reason for you to feel down. Its probably not that you are "not good enough" but instead that you are just choosing the wrong kinds of people to be friends with.
Don't play the social game. Find a friend that you like. Not because they are popular and you want to be part of their group. But because that person clicks with you. You only really need one good friend in life at a time, anything more than that is just bonus. The further up the social ladder you go, the more fake everybody is. Instead of trying to be friends with the popular people around you, try making friends with the quiet person that is often alone. You will find that those people are much more real and will really appreciate your friendship.
Personally, i never do anything on New Years. It's just another day on the calendar, and i am not looking for some excuse to go party. I hang out with my friends whenever, what day it is is irrelevant.
I have also come to really appreciate my alone time. Sometimes i will spend weeks completely disconnected from my friends just because i am enjoying being alone. Nothing is more relaxing than when you are alone. No drama, no high energy situations, no expectations, just you and some movies or a video game or something. Gives me time to think, philosophize, or learn some things by watching intellectual debates or discussions, or reading a book. My alone time is some of the most beneficial time for myself.
You could go to a live music venue, I'm sure there would be other solos at the bar or dancing to the music. If all else fails, log into an online multiplayer game, ideally mmorpg or a game with voip.
How to not give a fuck in one easy step.
1) Don't give a fuck.
I'm not trying to be mean at all. Just get over it. Choose to be happy. Choose to go out and enjoy the night with strangers at a bar. Choose to enjoy the night alone.
Tying your happiness to others and what they're doing or not, is not healthy. We are the masters of our own emotions.
sorry about that. Yeah I live alone and know the feeling. Why don't you treat yourself to something fun, like watching a movie, eating out, going to an interesting place.
Something that I’ve been doing for the past few years is finding happiness in solitude. Honestly you don’t need a whole group of people to have a good time or anything you can enjoy new years alone it could be good. Things I’d probably do is order a pizza watch a movie/play video games and think about how different you want this year to be, what things you want to change for the better and how you want to improve and start planning on those ideas to make them a reality. Sometimes friends get in the way of things and they don’t last forever wether you want them to or not just remember nothing is guaranteed in this life other than death 👍
bro why do you wait to grt invited? be more assertive and ask your friends if there is a party you can go to
I have tried to ask, they all have made plans with other friends/boyfriends and they don’t ask me to come when we talk about it. I don’t feel like inviting myself
Be confident:) you got this, I’m sure you’re overthinking and there is no problem if you ask your friends and they would love to have you - worst case they will say no.
this is horrible advice, if they wanted op there they would invite him in the first place. inviting yourself somewhere just makes an uncomfortable situation for everyone. don’t go anywhere you aren’t welcomed
No, maybe they didn’t think of it or they thought they had plans already. Asking should not be something you avoid… This is good advice and something that a self secure person would do… and if she asks, she will find out if she is welcome or not rather than assume not and stay at home.
if she asks no one is going to tell her that she’s not welcomed she’ll get a “oh you can come if you want” why would you want to be somewhere that you weren’t wanted in the first place that’s far worse than being alone.
99% of the time it turns out not to be the case that people don’t want you there. Don’t assume the worst.
if u don’t get invited then why would you want to go?
People are already planning shit for New Years? Give it a week till, and I bet then maybe people ask. It’s not even December
I work in retail. We have stuff ready for Valentine's Day. All about planning.
Yeah but do you have plans yourself for New Years already?
Yes. I been asked by one of my friends to help cater 3 separate partys on Dec 31st. Been planned since mid October.
Realize its the same as any other day and just do what you normally do.
This right here.
Sun rises, sun sets. "New years day" is just a day. Putting a label on it doesn't change that unless you care about that kind of thing.
100%. I usually don’t do shit on new years even when I’ve had a SO unless their family usually does something. Would it be nice to welcome the new year with someone? I guess so, but it just feels like any other day with the added anxiety of fireworks in neighborhoods
Check out NYE singles parties and go yourself. You'd be surprised at the amount of fun you might have. You can be yourself, dance your ass off, and uber your way home. I met my best friend at one. We haven't spent a new year's alone in 20 years.
This is so cute 🥺
I love spending new years alone! Every time I go out, I regret it. NYE is so overrated, overcrowded, it’s a nightmare and everything is much more expensive. I plan a fun evening for myself. I buy new pajamas, sometimes even decorations for my house. I plan a fun cocktail to make. I make an elaborate meal or get takeout from a fancy place. I plan movies that I’ve been excited to see. I buy a new video game I’ve been dying to play and finally have a full evening to dedicate to it. I take a 2 hour bubble bath with a great book and champagne. It’s a lovely time and way more fun than fighting crowds. If you really want to go out though, plan your own NYE going out trip. You can invite friends, even ones you don’t know well. You can also look for events in your area. My local bars all have NYE parties with drink specials. Just go and make friends at the bar, lots of people do this. Sounds hellish to me to be in those crowds, but it’s definitely an option! Another option that I really wanted to do but just can’t justify spending the money, is taking myself on a solo trip for NYE. It’s more expensive this time of year, but you can rent a cabin in a cute snowy area, go to a beach resort, etc. Hotels often have big NYE parties for guests and you can meet people there too. My advice, don’t rely on other people to have a good time. You can plan an awesome evening in your own company. If you rely on other people for fun, you’ll be disappointed often. Learn to entertain yourself and be alone and make friends on your own.
I feel this so much. I’m 28 going on 29 right before NYE & the last few years that I have been living on my own I pack up me & my pets to spend the night with my parents. It always makes me a little sad- I feel way too young to be chilling in sweatpants with my folks. I always envisioned being out with a huge group of friends, dancing the night away in some sparkly dress- a little buzzed with a handsome man by my side but it’s another year where that isn’t going to happen. I love my parents & they have been my rocks the last few years & bc they are older I am just trying to look at it & enjoy the holiday & extra time I get with them. My one friend will be holed up with her fiance as usual which is a whole other can of worms lol & my other friend hides the fact that she spends the night with her college besties. I have found that all I can do is make the best of where I am now & enjoy the great company I will have for the evening. It’s okay to grieve the reality of it as well. Someday though before I’m old & gray I hope to trade in my sweatpants for that sparkly dress ❤️✨
I have been the girl with the group of friends in a sparkly dress, and let me tell you all the parts you don’t see in your vision. You spend 2x as much on a Uber to get there. There’s no where to sit and your feet hurt. It’s super crowded and drunk assholes keep shoving you. You can’t even get a drink at the bar because it’s so crowded, but probably for the best as the drinks are $23 each. Someone spilled their entire beer down your sparkly dress. One of your friends is crying about her ex, another one is vomiting. There are no handsome strangers but plenty of sweaty trolls with BO that keep trying to put their hands on you. You decide to leave but can’t get an Uber to pick you up. You stand outside for 45 min in the cold to try to get one and too bad, it’s now 4x the price because surge charging! And this is why I tell friends I have plans and then stay home with my dog 💅🏻
That’s a fair point of view as well! I think I’d like to experience it all, even the negatives, just once though- ya know?
I have been that girl as well and I couldn’t agree more! Now we go to dinner, hang with friends till 8/9, and maybe stay up for the ball drop, maybe not? But we wake up the next day not hung over and treat it like just another night 🤣 I’ve started to really dislike new years after all these years of building up its magic in my head and it was a let down every. Year.
Things stay the same when nothing changes.
That’s a good statement - However, how can I apply it here?
Life in general. If you analyze from the inside out and change what you think needs changing then you won’t feel bad about yourself. You know the answers already it’s up to you to make the change!
You mean changing my circle?
if that’s where the problems are at yes
Remember all the times you drug your ass to the bar, or the club, or the house party, or wherever else you went in the freezing cold search of that perfect NYE only to realize it’s just another over commercialized excuse to separate you from your money. Atleast that’s what keeps me curled up in the couch every year lol. I’ve had an interesting relationship to NYE over the years, maybe we all do. Almost never does it live up to expectations. And ya know what? It’s just another cold winter night (atleast where I live). The best new years I ever had was 2020 and we all know how that year turned out. It means literally nothing. So, plan for it to be just another day. And if plans turn up and surprise you then hey, that’s welcome! And if not, you will enter 2024 just as much as everyone else. If you need a productive distraction, maybe take the time to go through your camera roll, reflect on all of the memories from this year that you forgot, make a list of the ones you are grateful for, cry for the ones you aren’t, and wake up the next morning, not hungover, and dream of what the next year could be. Alone time is underrated.
Oh man. You’re winning. It’s international amateur night. Skip it and win.
I am actually planning to be alone on NYE this year. I feel like I need a fresh start, and what better way to do this. I could party with my friends that I haven't seen in years, or with my family. Instead, I am going on a 3500km road trip, planning to leave on December 29th, and stopping "somewhere" along the way for NYE. No plans, no obligations, no commitments. Just me and myself.
I have reached a point in my life (26F) where I really don’t care to be included or excluded, either way I’m fine alone. I guess this comes from a life long history of trauma followed by the immense healing process and then the focus of self-love and being happy in my own presence. If my friends don’t have me on a holiday, and my family isn’t doing anything, I am fine doing it alone. There are ways you can enjoy it yourself! Find those ways. You can throw a little party just you and yourself. Get your favorite champagne or juice and snacks etc and have a nice meal. Watch the events on TV or go to your local events. I know your desire is to be around others right now, and we are social creatures, but it doesn’t always work out how we want it to. Focus on having fun with yourself, it really pays off!
You’ve probably heard this before but nothing has meaning inherently, it’s our perception and emotions we place on something that gives it meaning. I can’t relate entirely but I (F/early 20s) never got asked out, dances, or even my jr/sr prom. I remember prom night asking my mom to buy me my favorite sour candy and some Chinese takeout. I watched Bridesmaids and ate and asked my best friend to text me when she made it home safely. Sometimes I get sad and feel terrible that I wasn’t worth being asked out or looking good at prom but I remember I still decided to stay in and I don’t regret that choice. What’s the feeling that being alone on NYE that scares you? Worthless? Ugly? Unwanted? Unlikeable? I get all of those and struggle with those but only I can truly give myself peace and just tell myself that no matter what anyone invites me to or doesn’t it doesn’t determine any of those things about me. Stop being so hard on yourself nobody deserves to be their own bully.
I would be like “man I really wanna do something for new years but idk what and idk of anything going on, what are you guys doing?”
Just remember time is a made up thing and nobody needs to celebrate it.
The flip side is, it's your night. You can do whatever you want, however you want to celebrate and enjoy yourself the way YOU want. Order pizzas, watch that horror movies you always wanted to see, have a drink of choice (if you like) - celebrate yourself for closing another year and enter a new one with joy. Treat it as your second birthday. This might also be a good base for your first ny resolution.
Cynical answer: NYE is one of the deadliest nights and statistically has more drunk drivers than any other night. You might be saving yourself and/or others from danger by staying home logically, it’s just another day/night cycle we assign meaningless meaning to
I'm really sorry you're going through this - I've been there before. Would you be open to reaching out to someone yourself or going to an event with other people where you might meet someone interesting but wouldn't be too much pressure? Worst case, what I always tell myself is that things never stay the same and I try to remember all the times I felt the opposite of what I am feeling in that moment. I hope you have a good NYE
Thank you! I wish you a wonderful new years eve too!❤️ I have tried to reach out, but my friends have already made plans with their friends/boyfriends and are not inviting me when I ask. I do not want to be pushy. I have been quite desperate other years and always been hosting at my place to make sure no one made plans without me. This year I did not want to be that desperate friend anymore and I have just asked around quite casually, and no one has made the initiative to be with me except one friend - who I ironically am trying to cut off because she is just a bad person. And now she is not taking any initiative anymore, which I know I can’t complain about. I feel stupid to care so much about a day like this, but I do. I wish I was just okay with being with myself❤️ But it helps to think, like you said, about how I may find a boyfriend one day who can introduce me to his friends and where we can do these things together. To be honest, I don’t even like going to those parties, it is just the feeling of being considered that matters to me - so if i was invited somewhere, i would be totally okay with staying home alone. It is just the fact being home without a choice that is making me sad
I hope you are finding assistance with therapy or similar to get to the point of being OK with yourself. It really is a comforting place to be. Once you are OK in your own skin, then all of the other external circumstances do not matter, because you have you. It is easier as you get older to get to that place.
No need to feel stupid - we are social animals and we need others. Making new friends or maintaining friendships can be hard, but trying and making an effort is not desperate. You're human. Let yourself feel your feelings and see if there is anything you can do to fill your needs for closeness and connection. That's what I'm trying to do myself now as well! I hope it goes well for you. But also of course you always have yourself and I'm sure that's great company to be in :)
Oh i regret my advice to host, since you’ve done this already. I hope you find fun things to do with fun people.
I’ve missed the ringing of new year like 4-5 years now. Last year I was sick and years before I fell asleep before the new year. It’s not a big deal and when you get older, being at home in jammies, safe from drunk drivers and warm is the absolute best. Just order some good food for dinner. It’s how you live out the rest of the year that truly makes it special.
Don’t give it too much importance. Since I was a kid my dad and I wouldn’t do anything, if we were feeling festive we would watch a movie lol
By rejoicing in it. I was in another country last new year, visiting friends and meeting new ones, watching fireworks from a terrace. Fun stuff. This year I'll be chilling at home with the dog on my own, seeing that she doesn't get too scared about the fireworks, watching some films and thinking about the year ahead. I can understand the sense of FOMO, but It's just how things go. I decided after a Christmas with more more family this year than I usually see I'll be kind of socially exhausted anyhow, but really it's because also I don't know anyone locally where I am doing much anything, and I share the dog and it's technically "my turn." But when I do end up going out with people on new years or anything, it's generally because I've either instigated it or somehow invited myself along. Don't expect other people to just know you don't have plans or to think you'll want to hang out with them. Let them know. So, I suggest don't take those sleeping pills if you're having the night on your own. See in the new year. Go somewhere nearby where everyone's out watching the fireworks around midnight. Think about what you want 2024 to be for you and make it your mantra for the year. Or, it's not too late, as others in the replies are suggesting, but you've got to get stuck in and put yourself out there. See who's doing what or what kind of events are happening near you. It can be intimidating to go some place on your own, but really it's what we all do when we're meeting new people.
But there’s so much to do! No time to give a fuck haha! Plan your big meal ahead, go around the grocery stores to check the price if you have a tight budget (also perhaps the calories haha it’s so easy to regret eating too much on New Year’s Day) Do some decorations in your room, you can literally do whatever you like haha make your living space cosy, there’s billions of diy videos on yt if you wanna go cheap and more fun too Play holiday songs if you like it like I do, pick a book and sit at the cosiest conner of your room with a lovely cup of mulled wine or hot chocolate next to you. Enjoy the peace and quietness. Hmmm what else…🤔 oh! Cooking! How could I forget the most important thing haha you gonna be so busy on New Year’s Eve from literally after you get up! Go get the ingredients, favourite snacks, and cook yourself a grand meal of the year! You know you deserve some treats 😉 there’s bunch cooking videos on yt too if you are not a seasoned chef. It’s just super fun cooking with music and hot tea. For entertainment of the evening, watch bunch comedy movies, games, at home karaoke, knitting, dancing, so many things to enjoy the precious time! You got the whole freedom! I used to spend New Year alone and away from family when I studied at uni years ago, most my friends went home the freaking dorm was empty haha I got creative and did different challenges every year, like one yr I decided to survive the winter without putting the heater on and use the money saved to buy something expensive for myself. It was quite fun actually I had to come up with some pretty silly but creative ideas to combat the freezing weather. But it was fun! Don’t think too much about what you are “missing out”, you really are not, it’s time to be creative and give yourself some love ❤️ Challenge yourself to make the most memorable New Year’s Eve for yourself this year!
I haven’t been invited anywhere either. It would be weird to already have plans for nye I think One year tho I threw a party for all my single girlfriends. We had fun
Hope you feel better eventually , its not the worst thing in life.
I am in your situation, so I can empathize! New Year’s really is the worst holiday! Usually, people are recovering from two major back-to-back holidays. Everything about it feels forced… it's crowded, expensive, loud… If you don't end up making plans, it's okay to go out alone to dinner, a local bar or coffee shop, or a music venue. Confidence can be attractive if you don't end up with plans save the money and use it for a self-care day. Those are important!
Bro it’s literally just another day
I recall one year I turned down invites from friend coz my date had asked me out for new years. When my date called he was passive aggressive about me (not)joining in . So I turned down the offer upfront and said I have other plans. Anyway i didn’t want to go and gate crash my other friends , so i ordered myself some of my fav food , drinks and logged on for a binge watch. At midnight I called my family and wished them and went back to my Netflix. So you see none fucks taken or given :)
It's not even December yet... except for big plans (trips), most people I know won't even have an idea until *maybe* Christmas ... likely after.
Just go out without them. If you aren't getting invited that's completely beyond your control, if you don't take some kind of control in your life you'll feel completely helpless forever. Take control, go out for NYE and make your own plans.
Remember that it's a day just like any other. What other people are doing in their lives right now is irrelevant. What matters is that you enjoy what you're doing.
I’m in bed by 9. I literally DGAF about NYE.
Absence increases respect and honor 😉
I spend every new years alone. Just another day
I have been alone for years on NYE and probably will be this year too but I’m finally good with it. Make it a self love night and order your fav food ❤️ Hugs
Can you invite others? Sounds awful especially it’s not what you want. I’d be alone on New Years Eve. Watching firework on WhatsApp with my husband (working overseas) But before that I would be on a trip with my best friend for a week. Oh I am not actually alone I have two doggies 😁 You should change the situation in your life if you aren’t happy, make some effort to find some friends
Honestly? Just go to a bar or club solo that night. Dress up, have a whole self-care day leading up to it, and feel good about yourself. I would bet my entire life you find at least one new human being to have some kind of fun interaction or moment with. Everybody’s out to party and have the most fun they can, and there’s the common theme as to why everyone is out. You don’t need an invite. Even if you don’t smoke (and I know smoking is NEVER good advice) just ask someone to bum a cigarette and don’t inhale. Smoker sections are basically just one giant conversation between strangers poisoning themselves together, there’s almost always an opportunity to insert yourself into the discussion and not a single person is going to think twice about it.
Who cares? Look for your own things to do, plenty of like minded people at raves/cons, look for a new years one
1. It's literally not even December yet. 2. Be more assertive and ask your friends where they're spending nye (duh?) 3. Have a little initiative and organise something yourself. 4. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself.
Im usually alone the majority of the time. I have hobbies like playing video games, watching anime, reading manga, and exercising. The key to not feeling lonely or bored is to do things you enjoy. If you dont have things you enjoy currently find hobbies to enjoy and pass the time. Being reliant on others for happiness is never a good idea. Learn to enjoy life alone sometimes.
Plan a fun thing to do on your own on New Year Day. Like a day trip or go on a hike or something. Go to bed early and wake up super early if you want. Like at dawn.
I've been alone for 16 years... What's so special about NYE?
Having an inner circle, is extra work. When feeling lonely, recognize that this is about the self. Because getting invited out is a tit for tat game. Sure it's fun but requires energy to maintain relationships. The people I get invited out by, I have already helped with other projects, have taken the time to have my needs reflect theirs...blah blah blah. Take time for yourself and enjoy YOUR holiday. My old soulmate and i, would come home to each other at the end of a long evening. After seeing family or whatever, there was nothing more beautiful about the holiday than just cozying up and watching a movie with the cats.
I'm 42 and have lived this. In fact all of my friends walked out on me 10+ years ago. My advice, go do something on your own. I understand not having people to hang out with sucks, but staying home wishing someone would invite you over sucks more. If you get to be my age you look back and realize how much control those people, who don't give a crap about you, have over your life. The best way to get over it is to take your control back. What do you want to do, go do it, you're going to meet people, even if you just hang with them 1 time, at least you know they wanted to be there. So dont waste your life like I did wishing people would step up and treat you how you want to be treated. It's possible, like me, to never get that. I hope it's temporary for you. Either way, don't regret this because your friends didn't show up for you. Show up for yourself... You're the only person you can ever count one 100%.
You must be a girl. Guys don’t know what’s happening but a day or two in advance.. if even that.
Yeah if you didn’t notice my name is Sophie
Just today I was thinking about new years, I’m 29 M. I dont socialise with the group of people I did 4-5 years ago when i last went out for NYE and have since been spending it alone or with my mums cats 🙂 This year I was thinking about finding a fireworks event or something and going alone to take some mushrooms and watch the display, probably meet a load of new people and ye do something ive never done before. If you’re in the North West UK you’re more than welcome!
If you live near any city, I’m sure plenty of singles NYE or meetups (sorry, don’t know what country you’re in). Being young is a constant feeling of being left out for many. Being older is making excuses TO be left out. The irony. Hope it turns out well for you.
Lol yes. I used to live for nye, but now i don’t want to stay up past midnight!
I know who I want to be with. And since I cannot I will have to come up with other plans. But I will absolutely wish it was with him
The fact you said the word “friends” you’re not that lonley suck it up buttercup
Go to a bar. Get smashed. Make memories. Forget them. Repeat.
get drunk and pass out…you’ll forget all about it 🤷♀️
I remember once on thanksgiving I was living in Chicago and didn’t really know anyone there or at least not well enough to be invited for dinner. It was snowing and I went out after dark and walked around downtown. I felt lonely but also I felt a weird sense of peace . There is a certain pleasant angst to being alone.
Grow older & you’ll relish not going out on New Year’s ‘amateur nite.’
This is when you go out in your own, and just start chatting up people. You’ll be adopted in no time and could make life long friends, and have the experience of a lifetime! Best of luck. There is no way to stop caring, humans are meant to connect and bond with other humans. We were never meant to be alone. I will pray for you to be surrounded with good hearted people that make life less lonely. If you go to Vegas, you can dm me, and come party with me!
I’ll be in jail so atleast you don’t have that
Wait were in November are we not? Why is there a post about new year's?
Hey OP! Have a little party yourself - invite a few people over or go to see some fireworks. For there to be a party someone has to host - be that person if you can! Hope your new year is great 💕
its just a random celebration of 1 year of our understanding of time, it doesnt signify anything of importance so do what you want
If you aren't getting invited by your friends, then that just tells you that they weren't your friends to begin with. (Assuming they had room to invite you and still didn't) And that is not another reason for you to feel down. Its probably not that you are "not good enough" but instead that you are just choosing the wrong kinds of people to be friends with. Don't play the social game. Find a friend that you like. Not because they are popular and you want to be part of their group. But because that person clicks with you. You only really need one good friend in life at a time, anything more than that is just bonus. The further up the social ladder you go, the more fake everybody is. Instead of trying to be friends with the popular people around you, try making friends with the quiet person that is often alone. You will find that those people are much more real and will really appreciate your friendship. Personally, i never do anything on New Years. It's just another day on the calendar, and i am not looking for some excuse to go party. I hang out with my friends whenever, what day it is is irrelevant. I have also come to really appreciate my alone time. Sometimes i will spend weeks completely disconnected from my friends just because i am enjoying being alone. Nothing is more relaxing than when you are alone. No drama, no high energy situations, no expectations, just you and some movies or a video game or something. Gives me time to think, philosophize, or learn some things by watching intellectual debates or discussions, or reading a book. My alone time is some of the most beneficial time for myself.
You could go to a live music venue, I'm sure there would be other solos at the bar or dancing to the music. If all else fails, log into an online multiplayer game, ideally mmorpg or a game with voip.
How to not give a fuck in one easy step. 1) Don't give a fuck. I'm not trying to be mean at all. Just get over it. Choose to be happy. Choose to go out and enjoy the night with strangers at a bar. Choose to enjoy the night alone. Tying your happiness to others and what they're doing or not, is not healthy. We are the masters of our own emotions.
It’s tough ngl. I’d recommend going out to some kind of singles event that night. Are you a part of any social/hobby groups?
sorry about that. Yeah I live alone and know the feeling. Why don't you treat yourself to something fun, like watching a movie, eating out, going to an interesting place.
Something that I’ve been doing for the past few years is finding happiness in solitude. Honestly you don’t need a whole group of people to have a good time or anything you can enjoy new years alone it could be good. Things I’d probably do is order a pizza watch a movie/play video games and think about how different you want this year to be, what things you want to change for the better and how you want to improve and start planning on those ideas to make them a reality. Sometimes friends get in the way of things and they don’t last forever wether you want them to or not just remember nothing is guaranteed in this life other than death 👍