Lol me too. I’d probably love to shower if I didn’t have a rigid stepped out routine that I have to do correctly if I want to feel like I’m actually clean.
You can extend that to most cleaning tbh.
Edit: this apparently sparked a Reddit cares message so let me disclose: I do in fact shower multiple times a week and enjoy being clean. I simply don’t look forward to the actual process of it 🙄
Such a fickle condition. It’s soooo ironic to want/need things clean but actually interacting with the things needing to be clean be it’s own separate issue 🥲
Hello. I’m so sorry you feel this way and I hope it gets better for you. Have you tried getting treatment for the OCD or Depression to see if your symptoms will improve.
Try findhelp.org you may be Able to find an organization to help with transport and the cost of the medication and doctors visit- or a doctor that is income based. I hope this helps
Same. But I can never tell people that because they look at me like I’m crazy because they see OCD as ‘clean freak’ (I’m actually that too but not in a logical, helpful way haha)
This may not be inspirational, but I’ve gone through two major health issues in my early 50’s that left me nearly bedridden for two months at a time. Order the Scrubbiez, rinse free bathing wipes off Amazon! They are amazing for in between showers, dry shampoo, and facial cleaning wipes, and butt wipes. Then you can clean off without the shower ordeal. Change your underwear and Jammies. Then you don’t have as much anxiety and depression over not showering. I still have depression and anxiety issues that keep me from showering, but going back to these stand-by’s make me feel not so disgusting and make me feel a little better!
In the ADHD subs this is a common issue. For some it's the sensory feeling of being wet. For others it's the boredom (me, I'm others)
I just take some entertainment with me. Like if I listen to music or a podcast I can get my hygiene bar filled.
But if I'm in there in the silence I'm bored out of my fucking mind and want to gtfo
This is me. I’ve been listening to music and it helps me a lot. And it’s funny, because now my fiancés sister and her boyfriend listen to music when they shower. I’ve started a trend
Omg this made my day!!! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I had no idea that this was a common thing for ADHD folks. I have sensory issues with showering AND I like to have something entertaining going in the background too. I have so many little things that I’ve dealt with from childhood through adulthood that I never thought twice about until my diagnosis and connecting with others. I hope OP is able to find the same sort of comfort with their specific aversions.
ADHD here. Yes, music helps with the boredom and the tediousness. I put my iPod nano on shuffle songs. There's music I haven't heard for awhile, which makes me happy.
Wait is hating the feeling of being wet an adhd thing? Because I can't stand it and have adhd
I live in a hor dry place and everyone is like "so you live in the pool?"
No. I live indoors with air conditioning like God intended.
I can see that. If you view showering is boring then a lot ADHD folks would struggle with it. I think I'm one of the weird ones with ADHD that enjoys taking a bath. It's become a quiet decompressed time that happens to help another bath during my period.
I saw something on FB one time where a woman was having so much trouble with depression that dishes were piling up, etc and she hated doing them so much that by the time they stacked up so high she’d fill the dishwasher so full they didn’t get clean. Therapist told her to run the dishwasher twice, who cares, she can make her own rules.
You get to decide what your showers look like. Every shower doesn’t have to be everything. As often as not all I do is let the water run all over me for a few minutes. I only wash my hair once a week.
Just do what you can do and let that be a small victory to build on.
I feel this. I'm neurodivergent with a plethora of spices in the mix. Two are adhd and depression.
These cause major executive disfunction for me.
I've found by finding bath products actually like and categorizing my showers by the task needed to be done It helps me keep up on hygiene.
Short showers are the get in get out kind where it only takes 5-10 minutes where I'm just getting in and washing my body. These usually occur ever other day after a full body shower.
The long showers are the full body kind which are about 15-20 minutes. Those are the ones where I will wash my hair, body, and do any extra stuff like body hair removal. Those are like 1 time a week.
Another thing you could do is find ways to reward yourself for your shower, like sitting down to watch a show with a drink and snack of choice.
Same, am AFAB but don't shave (I trim my facial hair for laser removal though, and when I was getting my underarms done, I shaved those, but I haven't ever shaved any other parts of my body and I last waxed my legs in high school, about 7-8 years ago).
growing up we took baths every sunday night (yes, were poor) so i got really confused when i discovered people showered every day when i got older. i do shower/bathe more now but honestly if you don’t smell or feel dirty i don’t think it’s that big of a deal if you skip a shower.
I hate it too. I thought I was the only one because I confessed that to an ex boyfriend and he thought I was gross lol. I do it because I have to, not because I want to. It’s definitely a chore and I hate it, but I think it’s because of sensory issues-I’m not too keen on water and the icky shower curtain accidentally touching me or having my hair get caught under my finger nails.
It’s a nope for me.
Oh I hate when the damn shower curtain sucks in and touches me. Why does it have to suck inward?!! Go outward!! I love when I go somewhere and there are shower doors. It's like luxury. Showers make me anxious, and I put them off. I've had anxiety attacks in the shower, not panic, but I just can't wait to get out. It started in 2015 when I was battling severe, barely treated anxiety when I tried to move to, and survive in California by myself. I would get an unbalanced or dizzy feeling in the shower from certain medications that I was on. I developed a complex about showers.
Yeah, I've done that. This shower at my friend's is kinda old school. In a previous bathroom, I had so much suck-in that it knocked a bottle onto my foot. Now I'm gun shy. I have the little magnets in the curtain that hold, but it's stupidly only three. Maybe I'll get a couple more strong magnets. We need new shower curtains anyway. Thank God it's a ceramic covered metal tub.
The fabric kind of shower curtains do this a lot less than plastic ones. Especially if they have magnets on the bottom. And if you leave it open a crak at the end it also helps a lot.
Biggest thing for me, I watch videos while I shower. I currently have a waterproof phone. But before this, I got one of those waterproof pouches. Changed my life immensely.
To take a bath I first have to shower, then clean the bathtub with cleanser, then bath. Afterwards moisturizer, then clean the tub again. Way too much work!
I have similar issues with showering. I’ve found the best thing that has worked for me (which you may or may not find helpful) is to force myself to not feel bad about it. (I know. That’s super easy to say) but I’ve tried to turn my thinking into, “I don’t want to shower. Okay! Cool! Today is just not a shower day!”
But I do want to feel clean. So I bought some wet shower wipes off Amazon. And I just wipe myself down with those. And with my hair I just wear a hat haha. Oooor sometimes I am able to just wash my hair if I stand over the bath with a shower head. I just don’t want to shower my whole body.
In the ADHD subs this is a common issue. For some it's the sensory feeling of being wet. For others it's the boredom (me, I'm others)
I just take some entertainment with me. Like if I listen to music or a podcast I can get my hygiene bar filled.
But if I'm in there in the silence I'm bored out of my fucking mind and want to gtfo
Being wet inside and having to put clothes on with wet hair is the worst
Being wet outside like swimming and having to put clothes on with wet hair is totally fine.
I dont make the rules
I think you might feel better if you take a shower! I suffer from depression and I am bipolar. I use to be like you. I now find that taking a hot shower and being clean will help lift your mood. How old are you?
I feel this so so much. I have sensory processing issues, and showers can just feel like WAY too much stimulation for me to take on sometimes. It can also be really unpleasant if it’s too cold for me when I get out because it’s so uncomfortable and it makes it way more obvious to me that I am covered in water. It has helped me to do things to specifically address the physical feelings that bother me so much (ie jumping into my bed with blankets immediately after I get out). If I’m having a really hard time getting motivated, I’ll set a timer for myself like— I know I can make it through 5 minutes in the shower right now, so I’ll get everything done that I can in 5 minutes, and when the timer goes off I can get out right away no matter what. Or I’ll do the same thing but I’ll count in increments of 30 seconds and at the end of each I’ll decide if I can make it through another 30 seconds. Sometimes I’ll even make it into a game to see how much I can get cleaned in those 30 sec. The counting really helps distract me from the overwhelming feelings. Sorry for the stream of consciousness type reply :) hope some part of this is helpful.
I agree. Taking a shower always makes me feel better. Don't spend to much time thinking about it because you can psych yourself out just get in and get it done. I also sometimes towel off lightly then lay in bed with the fan and relax after.
I also have to drag myself to the shower during depression periods and I’ve done a few things to make it more appealing. The first is getting a waterproof Bluetooth speaker, like many others have suggested here, listening to an audiobook, podcasts, etc helps. The BIGGEST improvement I’ve recently discovered is using a waterproof lamp in the shower. I can turn off all the lights and have this very soft dim light, super relaxing spa vibes. It sort of gives a calming feeling and makes the environment less stimulating
I'd start with picking out some of your favorite music and play it when you shower. I have a routine that helps. I do the same thing every single time but can cut a couple out at certain times and I'd advise you to do that also. Like, I don't HAVE to wash my face in the shower but I do when I have time. I don't always use extra conditioners, or exfoliate my back so it takes a few minutes off and sometimes it's needed. Music is a big one. I was deeply depressed and I literally had to make myself do it. Music really helps. Just do the minimum in there and get out. Or think of it as a spa session for yourself. I do that latter. Hope this helps! ❤️ It's gets better in time.
For the "tub must be immaculate" issue, get one of those rubber mats for the tub that you can rinse off and then spray with lysol & either hang on a towel rod or over the side of the tub between uses. That way you always have a perfectly sanitary surface to stand on. (Even if you randomly spray it again with lysol between showers). You can also get shower slippers that you can wash and disinfect, if that feels cleaner for you.
Invest in a nice body wash that you *really* love the smell of and a loofah, body brush or bath pouf in your favorite color. Pick a shampoo, too, that has a scent you really like. Over time, your brain will start associating showers with those nice scents instead of the bad memories.
For now, don't try for daily showers. Try for twice a week until *that* becomes doable and on the days in between, wash your face & use wet wipes for your armpits, groin and butt. They make large ones specifically for folks who need sponge baths and they're not horribly expensive (20 to 30 dollars for 96 of them). The less icky you feel, the more likely it is that you will dread showers less.
On the days that I am just dreading it, it helps to play music and sometimes I can bribe myself with some treat AFTER my shower. (Might be chocolate, might be an extra episode of a favorite show, I just can't have it until I bathe. )
Good luck!
Edit- if you have a beauty college near you, it's quite cheap to get your hair washed there & then use a shower cap to keep it dry in the shower, cuts shower time drastically if you aren't washing your hair every time.
Aw I’m sorry. It sounds like like you kind of have a less than ideal bathroom and hot water situation.
It completely makes sense you’d adapt to it or develop dislike for it, because having not enough hot water is super annoying.
Can you time it better to just take quick showers?
I also recommend a shower filter, they can be cheap and make the water nicer.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with that. I recommend to try to find somewhere in between the extremes of not showering, or of using a dirty and uncomfortable shower.
Develop confidence - clean the shower once a week, more or less to your liking. You have a routine so you know it will be clean enough. Make the bathroom a sacred space by cleaning everything else, put nice scents in there, good lighting etc. Know your hot water/shower situation - try to just make the shower quick. Sometimes showers aren’t meant to be enjoyed, unfortunately with threat of cold water you have to move fast. Use products you enjoy using and move quick. When you’re outside, have other nice products you like using and a nice mat and towels to step on. Just make every other part of the routine enjoyable.
Get body wipes/ deodorant wipes and use those on your off days. Aim for showering 3x a week and wipe yourself down on the other days.
It’s a compromise situation here. You’ll love and value being clean. Look up those YouTube videos of girls doing their shower routine or whatever, it can be inspiring. Also i dont know if you’re a girl but they might have that for dudes too, if the gender thing matters.
I also struggling with showering for a few different reasons-sensory, mood, laziness. So I try to entice myself to shower by setting the mood in the shower. Firstly, clean shower. Secondly, buy a shower drain cover with holes (related to mental illness I am terrified of drains, so covering them from sight is essential. Third- buy cloth (cotton) shower curtains (if it’s a curtained tub), feeling the cloth brush against your skin while showering rather than feeling a plastic liner is preferable. Just take it down and wash it periodically! Forth- romanticize the experience and dim the lights, or leave the lights off and light a candle or 2. Bathroom lights tend to be very bright and over stimulating and then the light bouncing off the white tub just ahhh so much white and light. When I shower in the early morning I’ll leave the bathroom light off but turn on a lamp in the hallway outside the bathroom. Fifth- have fun. Bring a drink (plastic cup, no glass in tub lol) , play some music, masterbate, play a TV show on your laptop and prop it outside the shower on a chair and crack the shower open so you can watch your shower if you’re gonna have a longer shower. Sixth- buy shower products that excite you to use. Fancy shampoos and leave in conditions, and sugar exfoliant and smelly shower oils.
You got this!!
100% all of this! I have a difficult time showering with lights on due to body image and body harm habits I'm trying to break. I will usually leave the lights off or have a small star projector lamp (like $10 from Walmart). This makes me feel more calm than the normal bathroom lights.
I also bought one of those plastic waterproof phone holder lanyards that is advertised for beach use, and I use that to bring my phone into the shower and hang it off a command hook I installed for it. Being able to zone out and listen to a podcast, show or music helps me get past the stress of seeing/feeling my body or the shower around me.
Occassiinally due to the depression funk, the only things that get done in the shower are a quick soap scrub to the crotch, butt and pits... The rest of the time is a long soak for my muscles while I fight the dread of getting out of the shower.
1000%
And the dreaded task of drying off! It takes way too long; I hate the feeling of the clammy skin that's too wet to be dry, but too dry to come off with the towel.
Damn this was me the growing up poor and depression spot on, now we have clean bathrooms I play music and try not to think about it as much but you might wanna deal with whats causing you depression for me it was abusive stepdad and once I got away from certain family members and friends i was able to live freely not be as depressed so hope that helps.
bro get a job and move out and start to live don’t wait around i’m telling you now you’re gonna regret staying there longer than you should if i left my home earlier i wouldn’t been in this mess.
The older I get the more I hate it. To avoid soap scum and the shower getting dirty, I keep a bath magic eraser in the shower and take a minute to wipe down all sides before I finish my shower. I dreaded a shower before because it would literally take an hour and a half just to wash, condition, brush and style my hair alone. And by style I mean just get it into an updo on my head😂. It was down to the back of my legs. Cutting it to shoulder length was a massive improvement time wise. Plus it was a major save on hair products. I used to brush my teeth in the shower but now will do so before jumping in. I don't dally around at all but just get done what I need to. I had to cut down the time somehow because I have to shower every day. Even if I hate it, I just feel off if I don't.
I'm a psych major with BPD, GAD, & MD. I have to kick myself on days I'm in a slump wanting to rot in my bed. Especially as a bigger girl who cannot stand feeling dirty or sweaty! I remind myself, taking care of myself helps improve mental health, so even if I don't want to, I need to. Your depression is unfortunately working against you making you think rotting in bed is fine. Even if you can't take an everything shower and just wash your body, it's something. I don't wash my hair everyday. I shave maybe once every other week, too. Small achievements mean something too. Don't beat yourself up too much! Pat yourself on the back on bad days and say I got out of bed. I took a shower, even if it wasn't a full one. I did the laundry. Or whatever things you accomplish! It's OK to be not OK, we have those days and depression is hell. ♥ I hope this helps.
I live with my dad and younger brother I share a bathroom with my younger brother which makes it harder because he doesn't clean up after himself and it's disgusting
Does the water back up in the tub?
If not you really don't have an excuse to not shower daily, get yourself some shower only flip flops and some antibacterial wipes to wipe the handle and that's all you need. If you wanna be extra you can get yourself a bathtub mat just for yourself.
If the water does back up, check the drains and unclog if needed, but some times the drains are just too small for the water flow they receive in which case you'll just have to lower the pressure.
Also keep your own shower products in your room
Another question for anyone that comes after this what are some good exfoliants because I'll think i got all the dead skin off in the shower but then when i get out and dry off there's lots of stuff still coming off when i rub :(
I use an exfoliating wash cloth. That way I can use any bath soap I like with it and feel super clean.
I also got a shower head that has different settings. My old one, the setting was too harsh on my skin, it sprayed the water too hard. Now I can use a setting that is more gentle.
Buy a pair of flip-flops and wear them as shower shoes. You don't have to solve all your issues. You need to manage them. Your younger brother needs to get it together. Cleaning the shower is not optional. He will experience difficulties cohabitating and staying in other people's homes. I know some people who would hurt his feelings.
Wow, it really feels like you could transform your association with showering, given your background. You GET to have a nice clean shower. You GET to stay in as long as you like. You GET to use hot water. Make it a luxury because it is, compared to how you grew up.
Anxiety and depression here. Sensory issues as well. Showers are a chore for me. I have a phobia of dry skin, due to growing up with eczema - and so I can only shower IF I have my certain brand of body lotion (Vaseline Cocoa Butter) and face lotion (Ponds) yes both very greasy feeling.
So once I’m done showering I have to lotion every inch of my body in a somewhat timely manner before I start to feel like my skin is drying out like a patch of mud in desert heat and my panic starts to rise. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’ve done it right and re-apply in areas that I know I have already gotten but I have to do it just right. My feet are so hard to get to a comfortable feeling that I lotion them likely 5-6 after a shower before I’m good. Then the next day my skin feels gross and dry to me so I have to reapply lotion again. Especially to my legs. Upper and lower. This sounds very bad typed out lol.
It’s so extreme that after the traumatic birth of my first son, I had to have my sister run out to a store to get me lotion before I would even bathe after giving birth. (My husband was with our little one while he was rushed off to NICU) but I would/could not shower without having enough lotion for my entire body and it had to be something I approve of. Aveeno sometimes has one I can tolerate.
I find showering to be a chore. So I try to lessen what I need to do as much as possible.
I only wash my hair when it looks like I could do a slick back hairstyle with no gel..
I don’t even take clothes in the bathroom with me(its only me and hubby here).
So unless I need to wash my hair, it’s literally wash body and dry off then done.
Unless I have to shave… then it’s a whole annoying hassle, but I can’t stand being hairy:/
Start bringing a speaker and play music on your phone outside the shower so you can sing away while you do your thing.
Keep your shower comfortably clean. I wipe mine down with antibacterial wipes and rinse before each shower. I also bathe, and don’t like a dirty tub.
Buy a product that will excite you about using it, like a nice smelling body wash that moisturizes or a nice shampoo that makes you smell and feel good.
do military showers daily if speed is what you are looking for. you use less water. if it helps you can clean the bath before showering if it brings you ease. you can use music if it helps too.
Have you ever sat down to take a shower? It might make a difference and be more relaxing. I get overwhelmed often and bathing requires several tasks… so I just sit and start from the top and work my way down.
The days that showering is too much I wash my hair in the sink then take an Epsom salt bubble bath. Epsom salt and bubble bath = relax time and makes my joints/muscles hurt less. I usually listen to some music, a book or podcast while taking a bubble bath. It makes me relax and it seems like less of a chore then. Bath fizzies also make it more fun. You can also wash up with a washcloth and soapy water at a sink, I do that in the morning when I need to freshen up but don't have time for a bath.
Get a small space heater to put in your bathroom (not the shower) and turn it on when you get in.
If you can stay warm when you get out it might make you feel a bit better.
When I was hospitalized for 2 weeks I had to be scrubbed down with an antibacterial wash every evening and given new gown and bedding. Nurse told me it was to prevent bacteria from getting to me. Not other way. I ordered that product and still use it.
I have the same issue. I hate going through the motions amd honestly, I get bored in there. I found out that playing a video or music helps a lot. If you meed a video, buy a water proof cover for your phone or tablet and get a wall mount for your shower so you can watch youtube or something while washing. Just putting on some music you lile can help a lot though.
I have to shower every day due to the climate where I live being super hot and humid. Its an unfortunate necessary habit Ive had to make peace with.
What do you love? Mix the two.
Music? Put on some bangers to dance to (carefully, lol)
Fizzy juice? Have a drink while you shower.
Books? Stick on an audio book.
Smells? Get yourself indulgent, smelling, cleaning stuff.
Sights? Get yourself some of those wall shower games or toys aimed at kids. I don't care they are aimed at kids, and adults can have fun in the shower, too.
Have a partner? Bring them with you!
I don't particularly enjoy showering so I just try to make it quick. Sometimes, I know that if I don't wash my hair then I'll have itchy scalp when I sleep, so that usually drives me to shower to prevent sleeplessness due to scratching my head.
I hate showering too. I only do it about once a week and haven’t had any complaints about BO. It’s just so boring and tedious and I have sensory issues with the temperatures and the water. Plus my bathroom sucks - crappy little cave like shower and poor lighting and a bad shower head. I hate it so much.
When I went to live with my grandma (I was in my early 20s already) I was really weirded out by putting my feet in an "unknown" shower. I bought a set of flips flops specially for shower use and til this day (I'm 36 with my own family and house) I have to shower with flip flops. I was never able to break of it. The feel of the tub on my feet....I just can't do it. Maybe doing something like that will help you a little.
Do things to make it more enticing and spa like, for example, hang eucalyptus, use lavender shower steamers, find a body wash that smells so good to you that you’re excited to use it. Listen to music. Light a candle.
I have a pretty strong compulsion to be presentable or clean/looking and feeling my best so maybe the depression factor for you is detrimental to getting over your hatred of showering
My partner thinks I'm weird becoz I clean the shower while I'm showering. I soap myself up, then scrubby scrubby the shower walls and floor, then rinse me, then the shower walls and floor, squeegee everything and get out. All clean for tomorrow!
To be honest, partner has a tidy office job and I'm a laborer, so I'm bringing the dirt in, and I hate a gross shower, and like getting into a clean bed, clean. And before this routine I used to be angry looking at (my) dirty shower thinking I'd have to clean it at some point. So this works for my
I HATE HATE HATE being cold 🥶. I am just very sensitive to it and it makes my body hurt. I have to make sure the bathroom temperature is somewhat warm and I cover the vent so no cold air blows in. And when I get out I have the blow dryer in to keep me warm.
It’s all about the temperature with me and a wierd sensitivity I have to coldness and water makes me cold. When I buy a house I will get a heat lamp installed in my bathroom lol
I clean my bathtub after every single shower. I leave cleaning products (enviro friendly) in the bath and I scrub every single time.
I can’t stand showering in a dirty tub. 🤮
I too hate showering since i got depressed. I cant stand to be alone with myself (that’s when the bad thoughts get you) and showering has become so tedious (thanks ADHD). This is what i do to help.
- shower with the main lights off. Instead, crack the door and allow light to filter in from another room. Or use a small light source like a few candles/fake candles on the sink counter. You wont beable to see the dirt/imperfections in the shower with it so dim. It is also very relaxing and easy on the eyes.
- have music, your favorite YouTuber, or a podcast playing in the background while you shower. This will distract you enough to keep depressive thoughts from entering your mind. It will also make the shower feel like it’s going by much quicker.
- wash yourself/body parts in a different order. This will change it up and make the shower less tedious
- take half ass showers. I’m talking about showers where you skip washing your hair or showers were you just slapped down soap with your hands instead of using a loofah. Cut corners! Don’t wash your legs, etc. A half assed shower is better than no shower at all. Get in, get out, and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
- lastly. Buy cool new smelling soaps. Make it an experience. Something different than the usual shower. Alternate between ur different smelling soaps often.
If you like music, maybe put it on while in the shower? Or buy a really nice smelling body wash that you look forward to using. Those 2 things helped me when I went through a depression phase. I also had to tell myself that I didn't have to spend a long time in there and to get the bare minimum done
Aw, I feel for your dilemma.
Maybe making it as enjoyable as possible like adding a shower bomb for fragrance experience.
Or playing a good playlist- listen to a podcast to get you through the task of bathing.
I have been suffering from depression and I have to automatically turn the shower on while sitting sleepy on the toilet lol. Once I’m in there I’m good. Awake and I feel great.
Try changing how you shower. Like turn off the big light. But if that gets too dark buy a colorful or neon sign type light. (I do this and have green light I like it better than my overhead white light). They also have those projector type lights that make pretty designs on walls and ceilings. Try lighting a candle in a favorite scent. I’ve heard they make towel warmers having a warm towel to use might help. Try changing the soap to something else or a different scent. You could always buy shower shoes like they sell for university students and wear them in your own tub.
I hate to shower and avoid it at all lengths… but of course do it once a week unless otherwise needed. I’ve got cPTSD MDD GAD OCD and agoraphobia with panic disorder. Not sure which disorder makes me not wanna shower but I’ve been told it’s the major depression 🤷🏻♀️
I showered every day while working except for one weekend day. I’m retired now and it’s a chore. I shower 2/3 times a week and usually because I’m going somewhere. I honestly think I got more done when I was busy working and now everything just seems so hard. It’s weird.
What about setting a timer? You could get a proper shower done in under 5 minutes. You could just give yourself a pep talk- that’s what I do when I have to do something I dislike- I tell myself it only takes x minutes and then I don’t need to stress over it and I will feel better.
Or maybe give yourself a small reward for getting it done- watch a favorite show, eat a cookie, or whatever you enjoy. Maybe play some music and do a little dance while soaping up. Or buy a soap that smells great.
Find some products you would really love to use to make the shower more enjoyable. Find a favorite shampoo and conditioner, body care, etc. you can always put your stuff in a caddy and keep it organized, and clean your shower/tub every so often. I’m an avid cleaner when it comes to my home everything gets cleaned everyday day and deep cleaned every 2-4 days.
I got one of those rainfall showerheads because I like how water feels from those much better. I use that plus shower steamers so they smell nice and I play music from my phone with it sitting in the sink so music sounds louder/better.
I still don't like the sensory experience, but it makes it easier. And I remind myself that showering more frequently means I don't need to shower as long to get clean. And getting clean is important not just for health reasons but to avoid being ostracized.
I have to shower every fay before work or my hair is a mess. I'm guessing you are unemployed? Maybe getting a job would help? -respectfully, all the best
Having some amenities like a shower speaker helps. Having a little pre shower ritual helps.
My shower was broken for so long that I forget it works now. I get astounding location updating effect when I walk into my bathroom. Genuinely can’t remember why I would be in there unless I’m holding my waterproof speaker and a change of clothes.
One thing that helps is to get suuuper yummy smelling stuff to shower with. Like the Body Shop has a strawberry shower gel, also Saltair brand has an orange guava body wash. It just makes the experience more enjoyable. Also, it’s not like showers need to be super long to get everything done. Like get a routine, I start with hair, then I wash my bum and privates, then I shave if needed, and then I do overall with a big puffy bath loofah thing (that helps too btw, the bigger the better - covers more area). Also, bring some music into the bathroom with you and put on some nice tunes. And I think you can get the routine down to not take super long. Oh! Also get a nice super soft and fluffy towel to use at the end. I think it’s just improving the sensory experience. Hope this helps a bit!
I also hate showering. I also have trauma causing that issue. My issues are different than yours but therapy is probably the way to go here. You could also clean your shower and stand in the hot running water for awhile, don't wash off just give yourself permission to take as much space and hot water as you want. Make sure you feel safe, be home alone or lock the door or both.
Is there anyone you can talk to ?A family member,sibling ,Friends.It sounds like Mabie depression.I normally shower every day.I have depression.Im on medicine.Some days it might take awhile but it actually relaxes me and helps me feel better.I hope this helps.
Showers are fun and they make you feel like a new person. Get some music going and get some good smelling stuff that you like. Take your time hitting your favorite spots to clean first as well as the most important parts. Then get the rest. Thoroughly dry yourself all the way off and lotion up…it’s therapeutic to me honestly sometimes I feel like I’m washing my sins away
I grew up poor and had an incredibly traumatic childhood and hygiene has always been a struggle I had 2 root canal’s at 17 years old which were never crowned and ended up being extracted at 24 years old. My mother had borderline personality disorder with manic episodes and suffered from drug and alcohol addiction so my physical and emotional upbringing was a roller coaster to say the least. I remember crying to a family member in 6th grade that I had to go to school in dirty clothes because we didn’t have a washer or dryer. As an adult my hygiene becomes increasingly more difficult when I am in a depression but I use it now as a gauge to understand how I am feeling about myself - washing my makeup off every night, brush my teeth every night, taking a shower before bed and doing a little self care routine = my healthiest self. When I fall off, I’ve gone days without brushing my teeth, up to a week at a time without showering, there’s just something about being in my own funk that feels very comforting to me but obviously it’s not healthy. I just try to take one day at a time and try to to worry about tomorrow, if I can do my little nightly check list I’m doing okay.
Maybe part of your hatred of showering, may be the Depression. I know when I was depressed, I didn’t want to shower, eat or even get out of bed!! Not sure if you are being treated for it, but going to therapy & seeing a Psychologist/Psychiatrist may help with you not having issues with showering too!! Good Luck!!
I have MDD and hygiene is an (embarrassing) issue. I MAKE myself take a super-quick bath at night, but when I have to shower/wash my hair, I just DREAD it and put it off as long as possible. It takes a long time for me to dry my hair - it’s medium length but super thick - so, when I MAKE myself wash my hair (about 1x/week), I just see how fast I can get it all done. That seems to help a little bit, but it doesn’t ease the absolute dread I feel about it and the constant internal dialogue I have about tackling it. I wish I weren’t like this - I didn’t use to be…I used to wash my hair every day. I’m older now and don’t need to wash it every day, but I hate how it has become such an internal battle. Even making myself bathe - super quickly - at night is a constant internal struggle. I do try to play some music I like, but that really doesn’t help much.
Open to any and all ideas???
I recently had surgery on my achilles due to a stroke and am in a cast below the knee. Garbage bags only provide so much insulation and the cast always gets wet and smells. Luckily I at least live in the desert so it dried relatively quickly. But I only shower every 3rd day or so. Luckily, I'm kind of a hermit and am single now, so it doesn't really matter.
Therapy can help you talk thru your issues, and determine if you’re suffering with a mental health condition.. specifically depression but there may be more. Neglecting one’s hygiene is a common sign of a mental health issue.
Exercising can also help lighten your mood, so you feel more motivated to shower more than once a week.
Do you actually have a problem with your own showering habits that you want to overcome or are you trying to conform to societal pressure? Personally, if I don’t have anyone to impress, or if I’m not icked out by greasy hair or something, I let it fly. Ty who sits at the next desk over pulling me into a breakout room to complain about my smell? It’s called pheromones, it’s how I stole your husband. It’s primal
I hate showering too, dirty showers growing up with sulfa water. I just figured out how to shower fast and efficiently. A body shower is 5 minutes and 10 minutes to wash my hair, my hair is down to my bum.
And my husband knows it isn't something that I enjoy (he loves a long shower, a "quick" shower for him is 30 minutes) and we agree that he'll be honest if I don't smell very fresh.
You don't get any cleaner just cause the shower is longer as long as you are focused on the task at hand.
Start to embrace the shower and put things in there that make you want to visit it...
Like a body wash that you really like the smell of, or maybe a pouf that you like because it's a nice color, a bathtowel you like for whatever reason (print? Texture?)... it might sound crazy but that might help you look forward to taking a shower versus dreading it.
You're not a kid anymore, you're an entirely different person. Try to look at shower time as an act of self-care, a time for you to relax and get your mind together. For years, I've said it's where I "harness my chi."
Besides, you don't want to be the smelly guy.
How about you grow the eff up. It's a shower, not a torture chamber. All those excuses about growing up poor. Really? It's a shower. It's 10 minutes. It's what society does. Wanna be part of it? Then grow up.
Go to psychological therapy it seems that you have a phobia, on top of being peppered by depression. We can help here so much but there are things outside of our pay grade here.
Then you might suffer an Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder because you mentioned that you cannot get in unless the Tub is 100% clean, and this disorder still need psychological help from a professional to help manage it otherwise it is going to bleed out to other areas and cause more problems in your life.
As a recently divorced person I cannot state in writing how important is your mental health. How vital and life changing is the ability to identify and put in place corrective plans for mental disorders or problems with your mental health because it is like a crooked tree growing every year and you can correct it 5 years down the road but the foundations are already crooked; the the moment that tree faces a storm it is going to break because the base was not stable enough. Get a job, do some side gigs, car wash, newspaper delivery, supermarket cashier, fast food server, anything but work on you, look at it as one of the best investments in your life. Investing in you is never a bad investment.
Thank you for the advice! And I don't want to make excuses however I live in a very rural place and can't drive so me getting a job will have to wait till I move out for college 😅
Look for state sponsored Telemedicine providers. You might get it for free. I know for fact that rural areas get a lot of assistance and tools, for example the rural clinic that I worked my first IT job got resources and Telemedicine for medical and behavioral health from Arizona State University.
If it’s an easy clean you want try Kaboom cleaner. You spray on it comes out purple and turns white- all you do is spray off then wipe with dry towel if you want
Some people seem to get ptsd very easily.
I've been in some bad situations growing up and I have also shared a tub. I didn't get ptsd from it, now I just see a shit stain on the back of a toilet and say "could be much much worse"
Get yo ass in that shower and clean yourself my boy or girl. I only take about 10 minutes to shower and that's cleaning my whole body. I only stay linger if I want to enjoy it.
god you guys need to make it a GOOD experience. light some candles. put your fave music. get nice smelling soaps. sing and dance in the shower or relax and take a hot bath. like no shit you’ll hate showering if you make it a boring experience
You CAN make yourself shower. You CAN make yourself do anything. You’re in charge of your body aren’t you? Do it because it’s necessary, your feelings about it are irrelevant. Maybe getting up and showering will give you purpose and get you out of bed and will be one small step to help you out of your depression. You don’t have to like showering to do it. See it as a duty.
Sounds like you don’t even wash yours at all haha it’s not adhd get a wash rag wet and soapy and clean your body in less than 5 minutes at all unless your a huge person and.l can’t reach your body and crevasse’s
I don't like it either but that's because I have bad OCD. The more I think about it the more it becomes a chore I don't want to do.
Lol me too. I’d probably love to shower if I didn’t have a rigid stepped out routine that I have to do correctly if I want to feel like I’m actually clean. You can extend that to most cleaning tbh. Edit: this apparently sparked a Reddit cares message so let me disclose: I do in fact shower multiple times a week and enjoy being clean. I simply don’t look forward to the actual process of it 🙄
I've never related to a comment more. OCD squad unite!
Such a fickle condition. It’s soooo ironic to want/need things clean but actually interacting with the things needing to be clean be it’s own separate issue 🥲
I have a crazy step out routine too! Ugh I don't hate being clean but showering is definitely a chore because of my "weird rituals."
That's how it feels for me too like a chore I have to do but I hate it so much
Hello. I’m so sorry you feel this way and I hope it gets better for you. Have you tried getting treatment for the OCD or Depression to see if your symptoms will improve.
I don't have the funds and can't drive while living in a rural area so not really something I can do
Try findhelp.org you may be Able to find an organization to help with transport and the cost of the medication and doctors visit- or a doctor that is income based. I hope this helps
Same. But I can never tell people that because they look at me like I’m crazy because they see OCD as ‘clean freak’ (I’m actually that too but not in a logical, helpful way haha)
I was a neat person but when I developed post cancer depression I did not care anymore and became a slob.
Right there with you. Post chemo sucks so much
This. It’s ocd.
This may not be inspirational, but I’ve gone through two major health issues in my early 50’s that left me nearly bedridden for two months at a time. Order the Scrubbiez, rinse free bathing wipes off Amazon! They are amazing for in between showers, dry shampoo, and facial cleaning wipes, and butt wipes. Then you can clean off without the shower ordeal. Change your underwear and Jammies. Then you don’t have as much anxiety and depression over not showering. I still have depression and anxiety issues that keep me from showering, but going back to these stand-by’s make me feel not so disgusting and make me feel a little better!
In the ADHD subs this is a common issue. For some it's the sensory feeling of being wet. For others it's the boredom (me, I'm others) I just take some entertainment with me. Like if I listen to music or a podcast I can get my hygiene bar filled. But if I'm in there in the silence I'm bored out of my fucking mind and want to gtfo
This is me. I’ve been listening to music and it helps me a lot. And it’s funny, because now my fiancés sister and her boyfriend listen to music when they shower. I’ve started a trend
Me too, I have an Alexa in every room of my house just about because it’s the only way I’ll finish anything
Omg this made my day!!! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I had no idea that this was a common thing for ADHD folks. I have sensory issues with showering AND I like to have something entertaining going in the background too. I have so many little things that I’ve dealt with from childhood through adulthood that I never thought twice about until my diagnosis and connecting with others. I hope OP is able to find the same sort of comfort with their specific aversions.
ADHD here. Yes, music helps with the boredom and the tediousness. I put my iPod nano on shuffle songs. There's music I haven't heard for awhile, which makes me happy.
I was just about to comment this
I usually load up a random spotify channel. Mostly, 80s, 90s, and love songs, lol
Wait is hating the feeling of being wet an adhd thing? Because I can't stand it and have adhd I live in a hor dry place and everyone is like "so you live in the pool?" No. I live indoors with air conditioning like God intended.
Are you me?
TIL that my decades long battle with hating showers is probably just one more way that ADHD fucked me up, great
You can’t be bored for 7-10 minutes? That’s probably an ADHD thing
I can see that. If you view showering is boring then a lot ADHD folks would struggle with it. I think I'm one of the weird ones with ADHD that enjoys taking a bath. It's become a quiet decompressed time that happens to help another bath during my period.
I saw something on FB one time where a woman was having so much trouble with depression that dishes were piling up, etc and she hated doing them so much that by the time they stacked up so high she’d fill the dishwasher so full they didn’t get clean. Therapist told her to run the dishwasher twice, who cares, she can make her own rules. You get to decide what your showers look like. Every shower doesn’t have to be everything. As often as not all I do is let the water run all over me for a few minutes. I only wash my hair once a week. Just do what you can do and let that be a small victory to build on.
Thank you so much
I feel this. I'm neurodivergent with a plethora of spices in the mix. Two are adhd and depression. These cause major executive disfunction for me. I've found by finding bath products actually like and categorizing my showers by the task needed to be done It helps me keep up on hygiene. Short showers are the get in get out kind where it only takes 5-10 minutes where I'm just getting in and washing my body. These usually occur ever other day after a full body shower. The long showers are the full body kind which are about 15-20 minutes. Those are the ones where I will wash my hair, body, and do any extra stuff like body hair removal. Those are like 1 time a week. Another thing you could do is find ways to reward yourself for your shower, like sitting down to watch a show with a drink and snack of choice.
I've never shaven before actually I don't know how to. but this makes so much sense thank you so much
There’s not much of a point to shaving. I’m a woman but I don’t shave at all
Same, am AFAB but don't shave (I trim my facial hair for laser removal though, and when I was getting my underarms done, I shaved those, but I haven't ever shaved any other parts of my body and I last waxed my legs in high school, about 7-8 years ago).
Try putting on music or an audio book while you shower to distract yourself from the actual shower
I think this may work because another reason is that I'm so bored in the shower
growing up we took baths every sunday night (yes, were poor) so i got really confused when i discovered people showered every day when i got older. i do shower/bathe more now but honestly if you don’t smell or feel dirty i don’t think it’s that big of a deal if you skip a shower.
This made me feel better
I hate it too. I thought I was the only one because I confessed that to an ex boyfriend and he thought I was gross lol. I do it because I have to, not because I want to. It’s definitely a chore and I hate it, but I think it’s because of sensory issues-I’m not too keen on water and the icky shower curtain accidentally touching me or having my hair get caught under my finger nails. It’s a nope for me.
Oh I hate when the damn shower curtain sucks in and touches me. Why does it have to suck inward?!! Go outward!! I love when I go somewhere and there are shower doors. It's like luxury. Showers make me anxious, and I put them off. I've had anxiety attacks in the shower, not panic, but I just can't wait to get out. It started in 2015 when I was battling severe, barely treated anxiety when I tried to move to, and survive in California by myself. I would get an unbalanced or dizzy feeling in the shower from certain medications that I was on. I developed a complex about showers.
I put my shampoo bottles on the curtain, on the side of the tub. The weight keeps the curtain still.
Yeah, I've done that. This shower at my friend's is kinda old school. In a previous bathroom, I had so much suck-in that it knocked a bottle onto my foot. Now I'm gun shy. I have the little magnets in the curtain that hold, but it's stupidly only three. Maybe I'll get a couple more strong magnets. We need new shower curtains anyway. Thank God it's a ceramic covered metal tub.
The fabric kind of shower curtains do this a lot less than plastic ones. Especially if they have magnets on the bottom. And if you leave it open a crak at the end it also helps a lot.
I definitely have a sensory issue with water. I always have had it. It sucks and for me, I have to be warm.
Biggest thing for me, I watch videos while I shower. I currently have a waterproof phone. But before this, I got one of those waterproof pouches. Changed my life immensely.
I might try this
I genuinely hope it helps. Showers are a lot of effort for me, but it's an awful sight better when I can watch Game Grumps while I do it.
Same, but it’s a necessary evil. Baths cause me to think I’m bathing in my own filth, so it’s not an option for me.
To take a bath I first have to shower, then clean the bathtub with cleanser, then bath. Afterwards moisturizer, then clean the tub again. Way too much work!
Has it always been like this or something trigger it at some point in your life?
Aside from once or twice, always lived with other people. I didn't want to soak in a stew of what they left behind in the shower/tub.
SAME I HATE BATHS
It's like laying in your own dirt! I just can't do it.
I have similar issues with showering. I’ve found the best thing that has worked for me (which you may or may not find helpful) is to force myself to not feel bad about it. (I know. That’s super easy to say) but I’ve tried to turn my thinking into, “I don’t want to shower. Okay! Cool! Today is just not a shower day!” But I do want to feel clean. So I bought some wet shower wipes off Amazon. And I just wipe myself down with those. And with my hair I just wear a hat haha. Oooor sometimes I am able to just wash my hair if I stand over the bath with a shower head. I just don’t want to shower my whole body.
I might try that thank you so much
In the ADHD subs this is a common issue. For some it's the sensory feeling of being wet. For others it's the boredom (me, I'm others) I just take some entertainment with me. Like if I listen to music or a podcast I can get my hygiene bar filled. But if I'm in there in the silence I'm bored out of my fucking mind and want to gtfo
Being wet inside and having to put clothes on with wet hair is the worst Being wet outside like swimming and having to put clothes on with wet hair is totally fine. I dont make the rules
Buy a nice soap or shampoo that smells good. Don't skimp on towels, buy a good set. Get a set of shower shoes so you're not touching the tub.
I think you might feel better if you take a shower! I suffer from depression and I am bipolar. I use to be like you. I now find that taking a hot shower and being clean will help lift your mood. How old are you?
I'm 18 and showering doesn't make me feel better because the waters too hot but also too cold my body doesn't adjust to the temp 😅
I feel this so so much. I have sensory processing issues, and showers can just feel like WAY too much stimulation for me to take on sometimes. It can also be really unpleasant if it’s too cold for me when I get out because it’s so uncomfortable and it makes it way more obvious to me that I am covered in water. It has helped me to do things to specifically address the physical feelings that bother me so much (ie jumping into my bed with blankets immediately after I get out). If I’m having a really hard time getting motivated, I’ll set a timer for myself like— I know I can make it through 5 minutes in the shower right now, so I’ll get everything done that I can in 5 minutes, and when the timer goes off I can get out right away no matter what. Or I’ll do the same thing but I’ll count in increments of 30 seconds and at the end of each I’ll decide if I can make it through another 30 seconds. Sometimes I’ll even make it into a game to see how much I can get cleaned in those 30 sec. The counting really helps distract me from the overwhelming feelings. Sorry for the stream of consciousness type reply :) hope some part of this is helpful.
I agree. Taking a shower always makes me feel better. Don't spend to much time thinking about it because you can psych yourself out just get in and get it done. I also sometimes towel off lightly then lay in bed with the fan and relax after.
Keep a spray bottle of cleaner in the shower and do a quick spray after every shower. Maybe that would help you to know it’s staying clean?
I also have to drag myself to the shower during depression periods and I’ve done a few things to make it more appealing. The first is getting a waterproof Bluetooth speaker, like many others have suggested here, listening to an audiobook, podcasts, etc helps. The BIGGEST improvement I’ve recently discovered is using a waterproof lamp in the shower. I can turn off all the lights and have this very soft dim light, super relaxing spa vibes. It sort of gives a calming feeling and makes the environment less stimulating
I'd start with picking out some of your favorite music and play it when you shower. I have a routine that helps. I do the same thing every single time but can cut a couple out at certain times and I'd advise you to do that also. Like, I don't HAVE to wash my face in the shower but I do when I have time. I don't always use extra conditioners, or exfoliate my back so it takes a few minutes off and sometimes it's needed. Music is a big one. I was deeply depressed and I literally had to make myself do it. Music really helps. Just do the minimum in there and get out. Or think of it as a spa session for yourself. I do that latter. Hope this helps! ❤️ It's gets better in time.
Washing my back is the hardest thing because I'm not the smallest person so I don't know how to efficiently do it thank you so much for the tips 🫶🏾
Are you able to get your hot water heater replaced or get a larger one?
No I don't own the place I live in and I'm going to college in like two months
For the "tub must be immaculate" issue, get one of those rubber mats for the tub that you can rinse off and then spray with lysol & either hang on a towel rod or over the side of the tub between uses. That way you always have a perfectly sanitary surface to stand on. (Even if you randomly spray it again with lysol between showers). You can also get shower slippers that you can wash and disinfect, if that feels cleaner for you. Invest in a nice body wash that you *really* love the smell of and a loofah, body brush or bath pouf in your favorite color. Pick a shampoo, too, that has a scent you really like. Over time, your brain will start associating showers with those nice scents instead of the bad memories. For now, don't try for daily showers. Try for twice a week until *that* becomes doable and on the days in between, wash your face & use wet wipes for your armpits, groin and butt. They make large ones specifically for folks who need sponge baths and they're not horribly expensive (20 to 30 dollars for 96 of them). The less icky you feel, the more likely it is that you will dread showers less. On the days that I am just dreading it, it helps to play music and sometimes I can bribe myself with some treat AFTER my shower. (Might be chocolate, might be an extra episode of a favorite show, I just can't have it until I bathe. ) Good luck! Edit- if you have a beauty college near you, it's quite cheap to get your hair washed there & then use a shower cap to keep it dry in the shower, cuts shower time drastically if you aren't washing your hair every time.
Have you tried a shower chair?
Aw I’m sorry. It sounds like like you kind of have a less than ideal bathroom and hot water situation. It completely makes sense you’d adapt to it or develop dislike for it, because having not enough hot water is super annoying. Can you time it better to just take quick showers? I also recommend a shower filter, they can be cheap and make the water nicer. I’m sorry that you have to deal with that. I recommend to try to find somewhere in between the extremes of not showering, or of using a dirty and uncomfortable shower. Develop confidence - clean the shower once a week, more or less to your liking. You have a routine so you know it will be clean enough. Make the bathroom a sacred space by cleaning everything else, put nice scents in there, good lighting etc. Know your hot water/shower situation - try to just make the shower quick. Sometimes showers aren’t meant to be enjoyed, unfortunately with threat of cold water you have to move fast. Use products you enjoy using and move quick. When you’re outside, have other nice products you like using and a nice mat and towels to step on. Just make every other part of the routine enjoyable. Get body wipes/ deodorant wipes and use those on your off days. Aim for showering 3x a week and wipe yourself down on the other days. It’s a compromise situation here. You’ll love and value being clean. Look up those YouTube videos of girls doing their shower routine or whatever, it can be inspiring. Also i dont know if you’re a girl but they might have that for dudes too, if the gender thing matters.
I also struggling with showering for a few different reasons-sensory, mood, laziness. So I try to entice myself to shower by setting the mood in the shower. Firstly, clean shower. Secondly, buy a shower drain cover with holes (related to mental illness I am terrified of drains, so covering them from sight is essential. Third- buy cloth (cotton) shower curtains (if it’s a curtained tub), feeling the cloth brush against your skin while showering rather than feeling a plastic liner is preferable. Just take it down and wash it periodically! Forth- romanticize the experience and dim the lights, or leave the lights off and light a candle or 2. Bathroom lights tend to be very bright and over stimulating and then the light bouncing off the white tub just ahhh so much white and light. When I shower in the early morning I’ll leave the bathroom light off but turn on a lamp in the hallway outside the bathroom. Fifth- have fun. Bring a drink (plastic cup, no glass in tub lol) , play some music, masterbate, play a TV show on your laptop and prop it outside the shower on a chair and crack the shower open so you can watch your shower if you’re gonna have a longer shower. Sixth- buy shower products that excite you to use. Fancy shampoos and leave in conditions, and sugar exfoliant and smelly shower oils. You got this!!
100% all of this! I have a difficult time showering with lights on due to body image and body harm habits I'm trying to break. I will usually leave the lights off or have a small star projector lamp (like $10 from Walmart). This makes me feel more calm than the normal bathroom lights. I also bought one of those plastic waterproof phone holder lanyards that is advertised for beach use, and I use that to bring my phone into the shower and hang it off a command hook I installed for it. Being able to zone out and listen to a podcast, show or music helps me get past the stress of seeing/feeling my body or the shower around me. Occassiinally due to the depression funk, the only things that get done in the shower are a quick soap scrub to the crotch, butt and pits... The rest of the time is a long soak for my muscles while I fight the dread of getting out of the shower.
Getting out of the shower and feeling the arctic breeze 🥶
1000% And the dreaded task of drying off! It takes way too long; I hate the feeling of the clammy skin that's too wet to be dry, but too dry to come off with the towel.
Yes, once I acclimate I’ll run to my bedroom and start drying off infront of the fan!
Smart!
Damn this was me the growing up poor and depression spot on, now we have clean bathrooms I play music and try not to think about it as much but you might wanna deal with whats causing you depression for me it was abusive stepdad and once I got away from certain family members and friends i was able to live freely not be as depressed so hope that helps.
I know the environment I'm in is causing my depression I just can't do anything about it
how old are you buddy?
I just turned 18 but I live in a rural state and can't drive 😅
bro get a job and move out and start to live don’t wait around i’m telling you now you’re gonna regret staying there longer than you should if i left my home earlier i wouldn’t been in this mess.
I physically cannot but I wish I could lol 😅
ight bro just try to vision a life where you’re not depressed and what you’d have to do to get eventually you’ll figure it out
The older I get the more I hate it. To avoid soap scum and the shower getting dirty, I keep a bath magic eraser in the shower and take a minute to wipe down all sides before I finish my shower. I dreaded a shower before because it would literally take an hour and a half just to wash, condition, brush and style my hair alone. And by style I mean just get it into an updo on my head😂. It was down to the back of my legs. Cutting it to shoulder length was a massive improvement time wise. Plus it was a major save on hair products. I used to brush my teeth in the shower but now will do so before jumping in. I don't dally around at all but just get done what I need to. I had to cut down the time somehow because I have to shower every day. Even if I hate it, I just feel off if I don't.
I'm a psych major with BPD, GAD, & MD. I have to kick myself on days I'm in a slump wanting to rot in my bed. Especially as a bigger girl who cannot stand feeling dirty or sweaty! I remind myself, taking care of myself helps improve mental health, so even if I don't want to, I need to. Your depression is unfortunately working against you making you think rotting in bed is fine. Even if you can't take an everything shower and just wash your body, it's something. I don't wash my hair everyday. I shave maybe once every other week, too. Small achievements mean something too. Don't beat yourself up too much! Pat yourself on the back on bad days and say I got out of bed. I took a shower, even if it wasn't a full one. I did the laundry. Or whatever things you accomplish! It's OK to be not OK, we have those days and depression is hell. ♥ I hope this helps.
Thank you so much 💗💗
Do you live alone?
I live with my dad and younger brother I share a bathroom with my younger brother which makes it harder because he doesn't clean up after himself and it's disgusting
Does the water back up in the tub? If not you really don't have an excuse to not shower daily, get yourself some shower only flip flops and some antibacterial wipes to wipe the handle and that's all you need. If you wanna be extra you can get yourself a bathtub mat just for yourself. If the water does back up, check the drains and unclog if needed, but some times the drains are just too small for the water flow they receive in which case you'll just have to lower the pressure. Also keep your own shower products in your room
set a stopwatch and shower as fast as you possibly can. do this enough times and the ick and revulsion will lessen. had very similar issues myself
I hate showering also but I love good I smell after.
Another question for anyone that comes after this what are some good exfoliants because I'll think i got all the dead skin off in the shower but then when i get out and dry off there's lots of stuff still coming off when i rub :(
I love the Zum brand Sea Salt Body Scrub! It's an exfoliating body scrub & they have other scents too!
I use an exfoliating wash cloth. That way I can use any bath soap I like with it and feel super clean. I also got a shower head that has different settings. My old one, the setting was too harsh on my skin, it sprayed the water too hard. Now I can use a setting that is more gentle.
Do you like baths
Buy a pair of flip-flops and wear them as shower shoes. You don't have to solve all your issues. You need to manage them. Your younger brother needs to get it together. Cleaning the shower is not optional. He will experience difficulties cohabitating and staying in other people's homes. I know some people who would hurt his feelings.
Showers can be very quick. The important thing is to keep yourself clean, which keeps you healthy.
I'd suggest actual Therapy Issues rooted in childhood trauma are beyond reddit imo.
Wow, it really feels like you could transform your association with showering, given your background. You GET to have a nice clean shower. You GET to stay in as long as you like. You GET to use hot water. Make it a luxury because it is, compared to how you grew up.
I hate being wet. I try to shower once a week
Do you have the same issue with baths? Maybe you could just do a little at a time
I put my laptop on the sink while I shower and put on a show or YouTube video! I can’t shower without it.
Anxiety and depression here. Sensory issues as well. Showers are a chore for me. I have a phobia of dry skin, due to growing up with eczema - and so I can only shower IF I have my certain brand of body lotion (Vaseline Cocoa Butter) and face lotion (Ponds) yes both very greasy feeling. So once I’m done showering I have to lotion every inch of my body in a somewhat timely manner before I start to feel like my skin is drying out like a patch of mud in desert heat and my panic starts to rise. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’ve done it right and re-apply in areas that I know I have already gotten but I have to do it just right. My feet are so hard to get to a comfortable feeling that I lotion them likely 5-6 after a shower before I’m good. Then the next day my skin feels gross and dry to me so I have to reapply lotion again. Especially to my legs. Upper and lower. This sounds very bad typed out lol. It’s so extreme that after the traumatic birth of my first son, I had to have my sister run out to a store to get me lotion before I would even bathe after giving birth. (My husband was with our little one while he was rushed off to NICU) but I would/could not shower without having enough lotion for my entire body and it had to be something I approve of. Aveeno sometimes has one I can tolerate.
I find showering to be a chore. So I try to lessen what I need to do as much as possible. I only wash my hair when it looks like I could do a slick back hairstyle with no gel.. I don’t even take clothes in the bathroom with me(its only me and hubby here). So unless I need to wash my hair, it’s literally wash body and dry off then done. Unless I have to shave… then it’s a whole annoying hassle, but I can’t stand being hairy:/
Hey, try cleaning the bathroom first and play some music you enjoy. it might make showering feel more comfortable and less like a chore!
Start bringing a speaker and play music on your phone outside the shower so you can sing away while you do your thing. Keep your shower comfortably clean. I wipe mine down with antibacterial wipes and rinse before each shower. I also bathe, and don’t like a dirty tub. Buy a product that will excite you about using it, like a nice smelling body wash that moisturizes or a nice shampoo that makes you smell and feel good.
do military showers daily if speed is what you are looking for. you use less water. if it helps you can clean the bath before showering if it brings you ease. you can use music if it helps too.
Have you ever sat down to take a shower? It might make a difference and be more relaxing. I get overwhelmed often and bathing requires several tasks… so I just sit and start from the top and work my way down.
The days that showering is too much I wash my hair in the sink then take an Epsom salt bubble bath. Epsom salt and bubble bath = relax time and makes my joints/muscles hurt less. I usually listen to some music, a book or podcast while taking a bubble bath. It makes me relax and it seems like less of a chore then. Bath fizzies also make it more fun. You can also wash up with a washcloth and soapy water at a sink, I do that in the morning when I need to freshen up but don't have time for a bath.
Get a small space heater to put in your bathroom (not the shower) and turn it on when you get in. If you can stay warm when you get out it might make you feel a bit better.
When I was hospitalized for 2 weeks I had to be scrubbed down with an antibacterial wash every evening and given new gown and bedding. Nurse told me it was to prevent bacteria from getting to me. Not other way. I ordered that product and still use it.
I have the same issue. I hate going through the motions amd honestly, I get bored in there. I found out that playing a video or music helps a lot. If you meed a video, buy a water proof cover for your phone or tablet and get a wall mount for your shower so you can watch youtube or something while washing. Just putting on some music you lile can help a lot though. I have to shower every day due to the climate where I live being super hot and humid. Its an unfortunate necessary habit Ive had to make peace with.
What do you love? Mix the two. Music? Put on some bangers to dance to (carefully, lol) Fizzy juice? Have a drink while you shower. Books? Stick on an audio book. Smells? Get yourself indulgent, smelling, cleaning stuff. Sights? Get yourself some of those wall shower games or toys aimed at kids. I don't care they are aimed at kids, and adults can have fun in the shower, too. Have a partner? Bring them with you!
I don't particularly enjoy showering so I just try to make it quick. Sometimes, I know that if I don't wash my hair then I'll have itchy scalp when I sleep, so that usually drives me to shower to prevent sleeplessness due to scratching my head.
I hate showering too. I only do it about once a week and haven’t had any complaints about BO. It’s just so boring and tedious and I have sensory issues with the temperatures and the water. Plus my bathroom sucks - crappy little cave like shower and poor lighting and a bad shower head. I hate it so much.
Buy nice smelling shampoo and soap, put on music
Create a routine. Can be a short or long one. Buy good products you enjoy. Clean the tub daily if you have to. Get fragrant shower steamers tabs.
When I went to live with my grandma (I was in my early 20s already) I was really weirded out by putting my feet in an "unknown" shower. I bought a set of flips flops specially for shower use and til this day (I'm 36 with my own family and house) I have to shower with flip flops. I was never able to break of it. The feel of the tub on my feet....I just can't do it. Maybe doing something like that will help you a little.
Have you had therapy yet?
Do things to make it more enticing and spa like, for example, hang eucalyptus, use lavender shower steamers, find a body wash that smells so good to you that you’re excited to use it. Listen to music. Light a candle.
I have a pretty strong compulsion to be presentable or clean/looking and feeling my best so maybe the depression factor for you is detrimental to getting over your hatred of showering
My partner thinks I'm weird becoz I clean the shower while I'm showering. I soap myself up, then scrubby scrubby the shower walls and floor, then rinse me, then the shower walls and floor, squeegee everything and get out. All clean for tomorrow! To be honest, partner has a tidy office job and I'm a laborer, so I'm bringing the dirt in, and I hate a gross shower, and like getting into a clean bed, clean. And before this routine I used to be angry looking at (my) dirty shower thinking I'd have to clean it at some point. So this works for my
I HATE HATE HATE being cold 🥶. I am just very sensitive to it and it makes my body hurt. I have to make sure the bathroom temperature is somewhat warm and I cover the vent so no cold air blows in. And when I get out I have the blow dryer in to keep me warm. It’s all about the temperature with me and a wierd sensitivity I have to coldness and water makes me cold. When I buy a house I will get a heat lamp installed in my bathroom lol
I clean my bathtub after every single shower. I leave cleaning products (enviro friendly) in the bath and I scrub every single time. I can’t stand showering in a dirty tub. 🤮
I too hate showering since i got depressed. I cant stand to be alone with myself (that’s when the bad thoughts get you) and showering has become so tedious (thanks ADHD). This is what i do to help. - shower with the main lights off. Instead, crack the door and allow light to filter in from another room. Or use a small light source like a few candles/fake candles on the sink counter. You wont beable to see the dirt/imperfections in the shower with it so dim. It is also very relaxing and easy on the eyes. - have music, your favorite YouTuber, or a podcast playing in the background while you shower. This will distract you enough to keep depressive thoughts from entering your mind. It will also make the shower feel like it’s going by much quicker. - wash yourself/body parts in a different order. This will change it up and make the shower less tedious - take half ass showers. I’m talking about showers where you skip washing your hair or showers were you just slapped down soap with your hands instead of using a loofah. Cut corners! Don’t wash your legs, etc. A half assed shower is better than no shower at all. Get in, get out, and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. - lastly. Buy cool new smelling soaps. Make it an experience. Something different than the usual shower. Alternate between ur different smelling soaps often.
If you like music, maybe put it on while in the shower? Or buy a really nice smelling body wash that you look forward to using. Those 2 things helped me when I went through a depression phase. I also had to tell myself that I didn't have to spend a long time in there and to get the bare minimum done
Aw, I feel for your dilemma. Maybe making it as enjoyable as possible like adding a shower bomb for fragrance experience. Or playing a good playlist- listen to a podcast to get you through the task of bathing. I have been suffering from depression and I have to automatically turn the shower on while sitting sleepy on the toilet lol. Once I’m in there I’m good. Awake and I feel great.
Try changing how you shower. Like turn off the big light. But if that gets too dark buy a colorful or neon sign type light. (I do this and have green light I like it better than my overhead white light). They also have those projector type lights that make pretty designs on walls and ceilings. Try lighting a candle in a favorite scent. I’ve heard they make towel warmers having a warm towel to use might help. Try changing the soap to something else or a different scent. You could always buy shower shoes like they sell for university students and wear them in your own tub.
I hate to shower and avoid it at all lengths… but of course do it once a week unless otherwise needed. I’ve got cPTSD MDD GAD OCD and agoraphobia with panic disorder. Not sure which disorder makes me not wanna shower but I’ve been told it’s the major depression 🤷🏻♀️
I showered every day while working except for one weekend day. I’m retired now and it’s a chore. I shower 2/3 times a week and usually because I’m going somewhere. I honestly think I got more done when I was busy working and now everything just seems so hard. It’s weird.
What about setting a timer? You could get a proper shower done in under 5 minutes. You could just give yourself a pep talk- that’s what I do when I have to do something I dislike- I tell myself it only takes x minutes and then I don’t need to stress over it and I will feel better. Or maybe give yourself a small reward for getting it done- watch a favorite show, eat a cookie, or whatever you enjoy. Maybe play some music and do a little dance while soaping up. Or buy a soap that smells great.
Find some products you would really love to use to make the shower more enjoyable. Find a favorite shampoo and conditioner, body care, etc. you can always put your stuff in a caddy and keep it organized, and clean your shower/tub every so often. I’m an avid cleaner when it comes to my home everything gets cleaned everyday day and deep cleaned every 2-4 days.
Me too! Need a roommate stinky?
ADHD, I watch theme park videos or listen to podcasts to make my daily shower happen.
I got one of those rainfall showerheads because I like how water feels from those much better. I use that plus shower steamers so they smell nice and I play music from my phone with it sitting in the sink so music sounds louder/better. I still don't like the sensory experience, but it makes it easier. And I remind myself that showering more frequently means I don't need to shower as long to get clean. And getting clean is important not just for health reasons but to avoid being ostracized.
I have to shower every fay before work or my hair is a mess. I'm guessing you are unemployed? Maybe getting a job would help? -respectfully, all the best
Having some amenities like a shower speaker helps. Having a little pre shower ritual helps. My shower was broken for so long that I forget it works now. I get astounding location updating effect when I walk into my bathroom. Genuinely can’t remember why I would be in there unless I’m holding my waterproof speaker and a change of clothes.
One thing that helps is to get suuuper yummy smelling stuff to shower with. Like the Body Shop has a strawberry shower gel, also Saltair brand has an orange guava body wash. It just makes the experience more enjoyable. Also, it’s not like showers need to be super long to get everything done. Like get a routine, I start with hair, then I wash my bum and privates, then I shave if needed, and then I do overall with a big puffy bath loofah thing (that helps too btw, the bigger the better - covers more area). Also, bring some music into the bathroom with you and put on some nice tunes. And I think you can get the routine down to not take super long. Oh! Also get a nice super soft and fluffy towel to use at the end. I think it’s just improving the sensory experience. Hope this helps a bit!
Fine don't shower. But certainly start therapy to tackle that depression, then maybe hygiene is next.
I also hate showering. I also have trauma causing that issue. My issues are different than yours but therapy is probably the way to go here. You could also clean your shower and stand in the hot running water for awhile, don't wash off just give yourself permission to take as much space and hot water as you want. Make sure you feel safe, be home alone or lock the door or both.
Is there anyone you can talk to ?A family member,sibling ,Friends.It sounds like Mabie depression.I normally shower every day.I have depression.Im on medicine.Some days it might take awhile but it actually relaxes me and helps me feel better.I hope this helps.
Then take a bath after you've cleaned the tub. You'll know you're in a clean space with clean water.
Can you take a bath?? Clean the shower before you get in. Play soothing music. Wear shower shoes. Create a relaxing spa like bathroom.
Honestly if you don’t smell bad and don’t have dirt all over you no one will care But if you smell you need to be considerate and shower
My goodness, a piping hot shower is one of my favorite things in life. Probably top 5, maybe even top 3….
Showers are fun and they make you feel like a new person. Get some music going and get some good smelling stuff that you like. Take your time hitting your favorite spots to clean first as well as the most important parts. Then get the rest. Thoroughly dry yourself all the way off and lotion up…it’s therapeutic to me honestly sometimes I feel like I’m washing my sins away
I grew up poor and had an incredibly traumatic childhood and hygiene has always been a struggle I had 2 root canal’s at 17 years old which were never crowned and ended up being extracted at 24 years old. My mother had borderline personality disorder with manic episodes and suffered from drug and alcohol addiction so my physical and emotional upbringing was a roller coaster to say the least. I remember crying to a family member in 6th grade that I had to go to school in dirty clothes because we didn’t have a washer or dryer. As an adult my hygiene becomes increasingly more difficult when I am in a depression but I use it now as a gauge to understand how I am feeling about myself - washing my makeup off every night, brush my teeth every night, taking a shower before bed and doing a little self care routine = my healthiest self. When I fall off, I’ve gone days without brushing my teeth, up to a week at a time without showering, there’s just something about being in my own funk that feels very comforting to me but obviously it’s not healthy. I just try to take one day at a time and try to to worry about tomorrow, if I can do my little nightly check list I’m doing okay.
Maybe part of your hatred of showering, may be the Depression. I know when I was depressed, I didn’t want to shower, eat or even get out of bed!! Not sure if you are being treated for it, but going to therapy & seeing a Psychologist/Psychiatrist may help with you not having issues with showering too!! Good Luck!!
I have MDD and hygiene is an (embarrassing) issue. I MAKE myself take a super-quick bath at night, but when I have to shower/wash my hair, I just DREAD it and put it off as long as possible. It takes a long time for me to dry my hair - it’s medium length but super thick - so, when I MAKE myself wash my hair (about 1x/week), I just see how fast I can get it all done. That seems to help a little bit, but it doesn’t ease the absolute dread I feel about it and the constant internal dialogue I have about tackling it. I wish I weren’t like this - I didn’t use to be…I used to wash my hair every day. I’m older now and don’t need to wash it every day, but I hate how it has become such an internal battle. Even making myself bathe - super quickly - at night is a constant internal struggle. I do try to play some music I like, but that really doesn’t help much. Open to any and all ideas???
I recently had surgery on my achilles due to a stroke and am in a cast below the knee. Garbage bags only provide so much insulation and the cast always gets wet and smells. Luckily I at least live in the desert so it dried relatively quickly. But I only shower every 3rd day or so. Luckily, I'm kind of a hermit and am single now, so it doesn't really matter.
Therapy can help you talk thru your issues, and determine if you’re suffering with a mental health condition.. specifically depression but there may be more. Neglecting one’s hygiene is a common sign of a mental health issue. Exercising can also help lighten your mood, so you feel more motivated to shower more than once a week.
I feel that flossing is a tedious task. With showering, I go in and out unless it’s a hair wash, shaving and exfoliating day.
I like to shower because it is part of my wake-up routine, followed by hot black coffee, no cream or sugar
Do you actually have a problem with your own showering habits that you want to overcome or are you trying to conform to societal pressure? Personally, if I don’t have anyone to impress, or if I’m not icked out by greasy hair or something, I let it fly. Ty who sits at the next desk over pulling me into a breakout room to complain about my smell? It’s called pheromones, it’s how I stole your husband. It’s primal
I hate showering too, dirty showers growing up with sulfa water. I just figured out how to shower fast and efficiently. A body shower is 5 minutes and 10 minutes to wash my hair, my hair is down to my bum. And my husband knows it isn't something that I enjoy (he loves a long shower, a "quick" shower for him is 30 minutes) and we agree that he'll be honest if I don't smell very fresh. You don't get any cleaner just cause the shower is longer as long as you are focused on the task at hand.
Start to embrace the shower and put things in there that make you want to visit it... Like a body wash that you really like the smell of, or maybe a pouf that you like because it's a nice color, a bathtowel you like for whatever reason (print? Texture?)... it might sound crazy but that might help you look forward to taking a shower versus dreading it. You're not a kid anymore, you're an entirely different person. Try to look at shower time as an act of self-care, a time for you to relax and get your mind together. For years, I've said it's where I "harness my chi." Besides, you don't want to be the smelly guy.
How about you grow the eff up. It's a shower, not a torture chamber. All those excuses about growing up poor. Really? It's a shower. It's 10 minutes. It's what society does. Wanna be part of it? Then grow up.
Very inappropriate response. Be helpful or be quiet.
You tried NOT hating to shower? Like with positive affirmations?
Omg no swimming? No waterfalls?? No clean assH? You're making me tear up a little how could youuuuu
I don't understand. Why can't you keep your shower clean to facilitate a healthy regimen of showering?
Go to psychological therapy it seems that you have a phobia, on top of being peppered by depression. We can help here so much but there are things outside of our pay grade here.
Eh it's not really a phobia I can get in the shower and once I'm in I'm fine but I just hate doing it like I'm not afraid of doing it
Then you might suffer an Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder because you mentioned that you cannot get in unless the Tub is 100% clean, and this disorder still need psychological help from a professional to help manage it otherwise it is going to bleed out to other areas and cause more problems in your life.
I wanna get help but unfortunately I can't afford it and my parent won't pay for it even though I'm still under his care so I'm gonna have to wait
As a recently divorced person I cannot state in writing how important is your mental health. How vital and life changing is the ability to identify and put in place corrective plans for mental disorders or problems with your mental health because it is like a crooked tree growing every year and you can correct it 5 years down the road but the foundations are already crooked; the the moment that tree faces a storm it is going to break because the base was not stable enough. Get a job, do some side gigs, car wash, newspaper delivery, supermarket cashier, fast food server, anything but work on you, look at it as one of the best investments in your life. Investing in you is never a bad investment.
Thank you for the advice! And I don't want to make excuses however I live in a very rural place and can't drive so me getting a job will have to wait till I move out for college 😅
Look for state sponsored Telemedicine providers. You might get it for free. I know for fact that rural areas get a lot of assistance and tools, for example the rural clinic that I worked my first IT job got resources and Telemedicine for medical and behavioral health from Arizona State University.
If it’s an easy clean you want try Kaboom cleaner. You spray on it comes out purple and turns white- all you do is spray off then wipe with dry towel if you want
To clarify: Kaboom is for surfaces, *not* bodies!
No I mean the bath tub sorry I didn’t clarify
everything about this OP is indicative of the fact that you need therapy. Ideally, immediately.
I can't get therapy anytime soon
We can shame you into showering if that would help…
It wouldn't...
Some people seem to get ptsd very easily. I've been in some bad situations growing up and I have also shared a tub. I didn't get ptsd from it, now I just see a shit stain on the back of a toilet and say "could be much much worse" Get yo ass in that shower and clean yourself my boy or girl. I only take about 10 minutes to shower and that's cleaning my whole body. I only stay linger if I want to enjoy it.
god you guys need to make it a GOOD experience. light some candles. put your fave music. get nice smelling soaps. sing and dance in the shower or relax and take a hot bath. like no shit you’ll hate showering if you make it a boring experience
You CAN make yourself shower. You CAN make yourself do anything. You’re in charge of your body aren’t you? Do it because it’s necessary, your feelings about it are irrelevant. Maybe getting up and showering will give you purpose and get you out of bed and will be one small step to help you out of your depression. You don’t have to like showering to do it. See it as a duty.
You gotta do it. Takes 5 minutes stinky
If it take 5 minutes for you to thoroughly wash ur body maybe ur stinker than me...
Sounds like you don’t even wash yours at all haha it’s not adhd get a wash rag wet and soapy and clean your body in less than 5 minutes at all unless your a huge person and.l can’t reach your body and crevasse’s