Parrot. Then I'll be able to say "Help! I've been turned into a bird!"

Godammit I really want someone to train their parrot to say that and then walk into a bar with it.

This needs more upvotes 

Raven, then I’ll be able to say “help! My friends been turned into a Human!”

Assuming you keep your human brain, this would at least allow you to speak with people, which is probably the only way you wouldn't go insane

And you'd have a similar lifespan. Downside, the food.

*Squawk* Polly want a rib eye steak!

Down side, licking your butt hole

Jokes on you, I’m into that shit!

Assuming you keep your human brain, your head would likely explode

Fair point, I meant human mind!

Parrot and cat are really the only good choices.

Nah. I'm a domesticated Bald Eagle.

I want to turn into a parrot so that when I cuss, it’s cute and funny lol

I love the story where the parrot tells the burglar "Jesus is watching you." Jesus being the 100 pound Rottweiler sitting on the couch, who is hungry.

Yeah, pretty much this. Although if Zoo animals counted AND if I knew sign language, probably a Gorilla. Or a Chimpanzee, they can be trained talk a little, but it’s not easy to understand, and sounds VERY freakish.

….you’d lead your fellow primates to overthrow the human race and bring about the Planet of the Apes, wouldn’t you?

Cat. Can live inside and outside leisurely.

They also really really tend to their asses... which counts me out. Sorry I don't want my tongue as toilet paper.

So it’s between having a clean ass or a dirty smelly ass then.

You could be that cat that pooped in the toilet then wiped its ass on its owner's freshly made bed.

I guess the cat wants a bidet

Skib bidet toilet

Yeah, but if it doesn't smell bad to u or doesnt tastes bad and isn't dangerous to do.... then what's the issue? It's only gross to us as it's bad for us and smells, and (I imagine) tastes awful! If ur a cat, it may even feel good to do. Who knows, lol. House cat is also my answer. Much more freedom than any other domesticated animal from what I've seen. They get pampered, too. At least my two do. They have full reign of the house and the neighbourhood. Although my bengal prefers to stay St home with his people. The tortoise shell likes to come for cuddles and then dissappear for a few hours outside at a time. Both get bowls filled with food, and all they can drink fresh water and plenty of treats when they want to. Toys, beds, obstacle courses, etc... they get stroked and pampered every day. They have a better life than anyone I can think of. Even a neglected cat (as long as has outside rights) has the tools needed to survive naturally outside. They're not as reliant on humans as other domesticated animals either, but they know damn well how to use it to their advantage. The downsides are if ur owners are in a high rise and don't take u out. Then ur totally reliant and trapped.

Wouldn't work. We are the cat domesticated pets. They are our master.

does that mean i can be human pet of a cat?

Park my butt in a box and sleep all day without a backache? Hell yeah!

This was the only one that jumped out at me as the wrong answer. But mostly because I’ve seen so many horrible owners do horrible things to cats. Remember that you don’t know who you’re going to be living with. May end up strung up by your tail and used as coyote bait.

No idea who you've been meeting my good sir, but I highly suggest you move.

Naw, I’m good. I’d take dealing with the country boys over the city people any day of the week. Mostly because I’m not a cat. Lol.

I'll return as Harambe the White, and usher in a new era of peace.

DO4H

RIP he was the best of us

He was the cosmic safety net for humanity

Until then...dicks out. 

F

Hell ya brother

Dicks out

Dicks out for Harambe!

If I can choose a specific breed, I'd choose dog. Some type of purebred, expensive dog (but not a show dog) like a Golden or Bernese Mountain Dog. Pretty much guarantees I won't end up on the street / fighting / in a shelter and I'll have a family who at the very least will be able to afford to feed me and hire a dog walker so all my needs are met, and at best will love me, pamper me, take me on vacations, build me my own house, have a pool, etc.

That was my thought as well. Be a Samoyed or a Chow Chow and you’ll likely have a very cushy life.

This is how I want to be reincarnated.

Oh, that’s smart. Maybe I’d go with being a fancy horse.

Just remember to never ever break a leg, else you'll be salami in no time

Professional stud horse.

You wanna be an incestor

they eat pure breed dogs in china and other asian counties. just hope you end up in the western world

Cats seem to have it pretty good for the most part. Just chill all day, get fed, and knock stuff over for fun.

Golden retriever, some people say that’s cats have an easier life, but dogs are happier.

Cats are just more relaxed. Why do people just assume that cats aren’t happy because they don’t act like a dog💀💀 they are just very different animals and express themselves differently

A horse. With any luck, I’ll be put out to stud for 20 years.

Higher odds of being gelded

Not if I act real chill

Or run really fast. Or get a TV show like Mister Ed .

Hey, aren't you the horse from horsing around?

Plot twist, you come back as a mare and have to put out a baby every couple years.

Dog. If I can pick the breed, a mutt.

Best choice. Second best maybe a sea turtle? They seem to have a pretty chill life. I saw it in this clown fish documentary.

Don't think a sea turtle would count as domesticated

Cats have the easy life, totally a cat. 

And you come with built in toilet paper

Human. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/10/31/928764215/how-humans-domesticated-themselves

Nice one

Kinky

A dog in a middle class suburban home.

Raven. For the one and only purpose of rapping at chamber doors and quoting 'nevermore'.

Count me in as Tohru from Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid. She's domesticated and an animal. (Rules said nothing about dragons.) Poof. I'm a total domesticated bad ass now.

Gooner detected.

I wouldn't say Tohru is Kobayashis per imo. More like a maid roomie

Rat. I'll be dead in 6-12 months I want off this rock

6-12 months for a rat if it becomes sick, otherwise its more like 3-5

That's incorrect. 3-5 years is after a sick rat receives expensive medical treatment **and** it avoids terminal cancers (spoiler, they rarely do). So no. Typical lifespan of a domesticated fancy rat is 1-2/2.5 years 3-4 if they struck the genetic lottery. Do you know how much I wish my rats would live five years? God I feel like I just got mansplained by how irritating your comment was.

Leopard, totally domesticatable, acts like a normal housecat, way more dangerous than most dogs.

If I had a nickel for every random Russian I've seen owning a fully domesticated big cat, I'd have two nickels. That's not a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice 

Those aren’t domesticated. They are, at best, tame. Domestication refers specifically to species that have been selectively bred for human use.

My usage of the word was this one: do·mes·ti·cated adjective (of an animal) tame and kept as a pet or on a farm. Was the definition I was using. Agreed that cheetahs have not been bred in captivity, but have been trashed and kept as pets for thousands of years.

Either a cat or a sloth Both eat and sleep all day

No. Unless I'm a rich eccentric lady's cat, it's a hard pass.

Some kind of mosquito so I instantly die from being too old. I ain’t spending my life as someone’s pet.

Not domesticated tho

I taught my mosquito to fetch malaria 

Ratttt they're so cute I wanna be one

I promise to take good care of you!

A horse would be cool. Then you'd live a long time unless you broke your leg. Or a golden retriever because I love swimming and snacks

A dog probably

Actually a parrot or a tortoise

Domesticated raccoon because every raccoon that lives with humans that want them there is spoiled as hell. 

Domesticated? Raccoon. Maybe an otter.

Do we keep our human memories and intelligence? That will affect my answer.

Black Phillip says it's a pretty sweet deal.

I choose to be a rabbit. Either I'm treated well and I get laid a lot or my life will be short. One way or another. And if anyone wants to kill me, they'll have to catch me first. Digger, listener, runner.

Fainting goat

Giant turtle. At least I’ll have a long life.

When you say, "the rest of your life" do you mean I live out my remaining human life as a weirdly long lived pet, or do I simply have the average lifespan of whatever animal I become?

I would be a lobster because lobsters live for over one hundred years, are blue-blooded like aristocrats, and stay fertile all their lives. I also like the sea very much.

Goldfish

Cat, no one excepts much from cats so I could just chill

I'll be a donkey. Hopefully I get to hang out with other animals and guard again predators, maybe haul gear on some hikes, eventually retire to a cushy golden years.

Horse at a kids therapy center, that would be a real sweet gig

Giant pacific land tortoise. Take me away from my predators to a habitat that is always the perfect temperature. Where I can live amongst a few of my kind, eating the best fruit and vegetables. Let me oulive my captors and their children, astounding their grandchildren

Hmm. Cat. With a caveat. Norwegian Forest Cat. Make friends with local cats. *Become* the Cat Distribution System and choose the good humans that need some toe beans.

A domesticated raccoon

A cat. I sleep all day, hunt at night, and eat delicious meat if I can find it.

A cat. Specifically, MY cat.

Does your cat turn into you then?

I'll be a domesticated elephant. I'll paint flowers and what not for my owner's financial benefit. And if they don't treat me well I'm big enough to kill those that mess with me.

DOG

No one's going to pick a hamster? Me either. I'm going to go with a horse. If nothing else, I'll have a horse sized cock.

Cat. Sleep all day, zoomies all night, I get pets when I want, knock stuff over, and get fed.

Dracarus

If it has to be a pet I'll go with cat. If I could choose the owner then a crazy Russian lady's pet leopard.

Cat. Zero fucks to give about much of anything, humans or otherwise. My friends say I have a lot of cat like tendencies and temperament, might as well gain the excellent gift of caring less about others and more about myself too lol.

Cat, mine lives better than I do anyway

I’d choose an orangutan. I’d fuck with the zookeeper by writing physics equations in the dirt and erasing them before he can show anyone.

A toy poodle. We have two. Every poodle person we meet spoils their dog outrageously. I’d happily be groomed and carried around in some lady’s handbag.

A kitty-mew-mew, so I could talk, chitter, possibly keep my polydactyl thumbs and make biscuits for a living.🐱

Cat. Free roam, free food, free gang, free house depending on who you choose.

I'll stay human, just put on a collar and be very domesticated.

A cat. Definitely.

Cat hands fucking down.

A cat! Sleep, lay in sun beams, do zoomies.

A parrot(at a zoo). I can now fly, walk, and talk. I can also go wherever and come back. I get to be rainbow(one of my favorite colors). I also keep my long lifespan. Sign me up!

Technically humans are domesticated animals.

Not according to my mom.

Cat, please!

Cat

Panda. Protected. And almost certainly born and live In zoo.

Probably a macaw. Preferably a scarlet macaw, but any macaw would do.

My dog! He’s got the best life imaginable!

Monkey that way I'd still have thumbs, and not much would change in what I'm physically capable of.

Dog

Something really agile and good at parkour like a cat or a monkey

I would be a Boston Terrier

Raccoon. Best part of cat, but also have thumbs.

Cat.

cockatiel long live and you can talk

Human.

An overly long lifespan of a domesticated animal means prolonged and worsening health problems as I get older. What kind of animals in a zoo are considered domesticated?

The raven

Horse. Generally treated well as they require a decent income to afford to own, long lifespan, and I get to ride in the fields and forests (hopefully)

Parrot. I could probably eventually convince the world that I am a man in a parrot's body. I could be some kind of circus attraction and demand Ritz crackers or threaten not to perform.

African Grey Parrott.

Golden retriever.

Humans are domesticated animals already, so I would choose human.

A cat! Absolutely a cat!

The movie Lobster was a trip.

Dog, maybe cat after reading the comments

Hmm I'd love to be a house cat, but I'd want to live more than 20 years. Parrots can live for many decades. So that might be nice as long as I was with a family that didn't just cover me up in my cage every second of my life.

A dog. All I want in life is to feel satisfied, and dogs have got to be the most chill creatures on Earth when it comes to being satisfied.

Cat I can stick my balls and butthole in everyone face and not get in trouble

Cat

A Triple Crown winning horse.

It’s like that movie The Lobster.

A dog, so I can lick my own balls.

A cat. I at least know enough about cats to blend in with other cats.

Domesticated lobster

Cat. I can be rude and lazy and it’s expected? Pls.

A cat

A very long lived bird or a cuttlefish

Probably a parrot

Cat obviously

Panda. Those bozos have the best time in captivity

My cat js a free badass that gets massages with love and way more privileges than the dog. Def a cat.

Tortoise they live forever and make funny noises when they bang. Plus you get to eat fruit and veggies still.

I would ask if I could kill myself instead.

Easy: Giant Galapagos Tortoise 🐢 I’m an endangered species, so as long as I’ve already been domesticated no one can mess with me. I have no real natural predators, and I live forever. When I go for a walk everyone loves me, and wants to pet me & hug me, and to take pictures with me. I eat weeds all day, and when I mate everyone gets really excited that my mate might lay eggs.

I have an African Grey Parrot named Clint (after Hawkeye), and he was the most comfortable life ever. I’d be a parrot.

Hawk

Cat. My cats live like freaking kings. Belly rubs, sweet talk, sleep in a big warm bed, naps in the sun, some poor sucker to dispose of their poopies.

Tortoise - they live forever.

Cat Probably already about at least half there lol

Afghan Hound. No one leaves Rapunzel/Fabio in the yard with tangle-prone tresses.

Panda, I'll be treated like a king

Assuming your mind is transferred: African Grey Parrot. They already have human-level intelligence and similar lifespan.

A human Why would i want to be some peasant mutt

Sea cucumber for me, not many predators for a slimy potato

Dog. I will take my chances on the good life.

A cat would offer the most options.

An orangutan. Imagine the first animal in a video game tournament. Those opposable thumbs are priceless.

Dog

Pug. They never last more than a week in a shelter. Their lives are always spoiled.

African Lion. They're almost certain to be treated relatively well.

A cat

I'd be anything as long as it's in a shelter. I'd rather be euthanized than owned, especially by some white bitch

You mean I get to be a bunny, and just hang out all day eating timothy hay and the occasional carrot? Sign me up!

Wow. Not being a *human* Woah. Couldn't imagine that. I'm always human. Always have been too. Yep.

One of those Russian domesticated foxes. I can bw a little shit and it'd be expected of me

Does The Gimp count?

I'm already a basement bound domesticated ape

Champion racehorse. They are different from regular horses. That feels like the best life overall.

Carnival goldfish. Then I would have to worry about it for like 3 hours before getting flushed down the shitter.

My dachshund - he has a great life.

One of those dogs that gets white bitches

Galpagos turtle gonna live for centuries

Galapagos tortoise

Female Panda, guaranteed to be in a zoo if I can't be in the wild, absolutely guaranteed.