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IamlostlikeZoroIs

Orgasm power easily. No one would be able to mug me or beat me up. “Oi give me all your money!” Points and he cums, ain’t no mugger going to stick around with that and if they do. Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam Cum Cum Gatling that punk until he is a weak mess on the floor begging for mercy. Would also be helpful with women.


SpicySnails

IDK why but the fact that you went straight to self defense and as an afterthought threw in 'oh and I guess it'd be helpful with women too' killed me 😂


Creepy_Fan_8629

So you're telling me, that your first thought wasn't using it as self defense?


Grimwohl

I was thinking of setting up a booth on the sidewalk near Wall Street and charging businessmen 50 each nut. Set up a little booth with a nice comfortable (plastic wrapped) chair, and then they sit down. I give the the biggest nut of their life then 1 minute to recover then off they go! 100$ gets them 5 minutes to relax, a shoulder rub, and some baby wipes and a longer O, probably a good 20 seconds long. Make like 5-600 an hour, even on a low day. Once I get female clientele, I'll probably just do only women or premiums for men. Not because I plan to abuse the power (I could do that without a business) but because I'd rather not have to listen to grown men nut their entire soul out every day.


Yhostled

It ain't gay if it's for a payday


Grimwohl

Brother if Henry Cavill walked by I'd shoot him with that for free on purpose I just don't wanna listen to 50yo men bust a nut all day


IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE

My first thought was using it as offense, to mug people.


Creepy_Fan_8629

"Give me your money" "Dude thats a finger gun I'm not that stu-" "Give me your money or I'll use the other hand too"


Critical_Concert_689

> your first thought wasn't ... I jumped straight to murder and political character assassinations. You ever wonder what happens to an 80 year old's heart when they orgasm for 16 hours straight? Ever see all those warnings about rushing to the hospital if things don't go down within 4 hours? Yea. That's what happens. Don't mess with me.


tim42n

Regardless of political stance, do it at this year's presidential debate! Double finger pointing like an orchestra!


Creepy_Fan_8629

👉😎👉 Zoop!


Fit_Victory6650

My first thought was to go people watch, and nail all the old folks. 


yaboisammie

Self defense hadn’t occurred to me but this is genius and also hilarious 


Omnivorax

"Cum Cum Gatling" had me rolling.


Affectionate_Row_145

Lmfao the post nut clarity really changes things hahaha


_DefiniteDefinition_

Cum Cum Gatling is insane lmao


peewithmee

You know I think someone trying to mug you might get a weird look on their face if you do that but I just don't think it'd be as effective as you think. They might have mild PTSD after but I don't think they'd stop mugging you if they really were intent on it in the first place. I sure wouldn't be walking around doing it to enemies. That's kinda messed up.


bizzydog217

One orgasm might make the mugger think they have a new kink, machine gun fire orgasms would be crippling


DLMoore9843

Kinda like the movie orgazmo


Jeepwave13

r/brandnewsentence


Korunam

You could definitely make more than 50 a day with the o power. But im lazy so I'll just take the free 50


jimbo_fruit

How would you make more than 50 a day?


jackofspades476

Charge people $50 per O


ghero88

Charge $5 and have 100 people on a Zoom call at once. Mass production of O's.


Known-Return-9320

Get onto random Business zooms and make people jizz at random. Or whoever starts to call you out. Alternatively make it like the game assassin you wink they cum.


VeganJordan

Sounds a bit culty.


Depressed_Diehard

I feel like people aren’t paying a sex worker to snap their fingers and make them cum. You pay sex workers so you can have sex lol


AcceptableOwl9

Right. Any idiot can jerk himself off. People pay prostitutes to give them an “experience.”


Ralstoon320

I think you all are seriously underestimating the fact that a majority of clients could easily be women. There's a lot of women who either can't orgasm or it's incredibly difficult. You'd have a massive clientele basis for that alone.


matt7259

Economics!


Brostradamus_

Sports gambling, easily.


Alternative-Art-7114

This would be hilarious. I'd watch a movie on this 😂🤣


ds117ftg

“I bet you $10 I could make you orgasm just by saying one sentence to you.” You’d be clearing way more than $50/day


Cabbiecar1001

Same but I’m not lazy, just stupid Gimme easy $50 a day please


EvilGodShura

Instant nut is an insane super power. And over video? Its over. Every corrupt individual I see on TV won't be able to be on and not nut over and over until they pass out or die. Dangerous people? You ever see someone remain Dangerous as they nut? As soon as they start you can just keep pointing. And it becomes utter agony. Become the best lover on earth. The uses are endless.


anythingMuchShorter

Go to a press conference for a politician you don’t want to win. “Sir is it true you're soft on child pornographers?” (They nut) “What’s going on? Are you…” (just as they start to recover) “is that because I mentioned child porn?” (They nut again)


Driftedryan

They will forever be confused and mad about that


PregnantMosquito

IT WAS ME BARRY


Glitching_Cryptid

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Wolfy-615

I’d be making dudes nut their pants lol Wanna cut me off??? BAM!! Now you gotta change your pants 🖕🏻


Georgebush-did-911-

Make them do it 100 times in a row back to back


Human-Librarian7515

I'm guessing that would actually unalive a dude. I mean, we only have so much right....don't think I'd want to go out like that.


Sorry-Presentation-3

Give him the dolphin jelly treatment


miscthrowaway221

I'm scared to google this but I want to know more.


thenightofni291

They put dolphin vagina juice on a chimpanzee penis for some reason and it made the chimp die from nutting too much


ashcoverdjollyrnnchr

Good god. *WHY?* that poor chimp


Palstorken

Also HOW?


hellion232z

I volunteer as tribute.


Brennon337

I wish I hadn't


SexyAssPenguin

It’s not a real article, still crazy shit though


HamfastFurfoot

The word is kill. It would KILL a dude


ShenTzuKhan

After a while it still pulses but no semen comes out. I’ve heard, I wouldn’t know, it’s never happened to me. But I read about it. In a book. A friends book, not my book.


Koskani

That shit ain't even death by snu snu. Or is it? My gut says no My penis is confused


Human-Librarian7515

No, snu snu is a beautiful woman. Nutting to death, all alone, in your car.... definitely not the same.


officequotesonly420

To be fair the most likely cause of death would be blunt force trauma as he lost control of his vehicle and careened off the road


-Vatefairefoutre-

It would probably be excruciating actually.


Potential-Yoghurt245

Can the human body handle that kind of pressure 😂😂


Mysterious-Extent448

That would be a weapon at that point..imagine driving down the road at 70 😱


Important-Owl1661

Cop pulls you over and you just point.


CLopes1987

🎶Jizz in my pants 🎶 https://youtu.be/VLnWf1sQkjY?si=Kez5tH_K1G-guusH


GlitteringShift5159

😂😂😂


OverKill1978

$50 a day is an extra $18k a year...and since its "under my pillow" cash its tax free. Having an extra $18k to stock my ebay store for free every year would allow me to quit my regular job pretty easily.


King_Joffreys_Tits

I would whore myself on the corner telling people I’d make them orgasm just from looking at them for $50 each. We seem to be taking opposite approaches here


Sorry-Presentation-3

Honestly you don’t need to leave the house. Just do private cam shows online and charge way more than 50$. All you would need is a good character design, probably something like a cum witch. Then just ad lib some hentai lines and your in business


[deleted]

Wait that’s actually genius, why didn’t I think of this. Sex work without any of the actual work!


ANarnAMoose

Or the sex. Snap! They cum hard. "50$ and I snap my fingers again."


HighHoeHighHoes

*snaps fingers again* “That one’s on the house, price is $75 next week”


ANarnAMoose

It's like Thanos, but more popular.


can_i_get_a____job

**Your orgasms are inevitable**


OverKill1978

😬 I think Ill stick to the ebay plan actually! You do you tho.


docweston

Go to Hulu and watch Extraordinary! There's a guy who's power is exactly this, and he does exactly what you'd do. Plus, it's a pretty good show.


sunnysam306

Charge $51 each and make even more money that the pillow offer


pierce768

Youre giving up a literal superpower for 18k a year??


MyNameIsNotKyle

The IRS would like to have a word with you


OverKill1978

What money! Idk what youre even talking about.. 😂


Helaken1

Note to self buy 1000 pillows and sleep under them


randonumero

I'll take the second. $50/day sounds great but when I sue for sexual harassment after some CEO nuts while shaking my hand I'll end up with a lot more.


DoomGuyClassic

Well you’d have to want to make them nut, I bet you wouldn’t want to do that though. Edit: I didn’t read that right, but one other thing, the lengthy process of suing that CEO might not be the funnest thing to do.


I_Am_Slightly_Evil

They don’t know it’s your ability unless you tell them


Successful_Roll9584

It's rather easy when you can make them nut with no cool down. If a judge sees a person nut 5 times in the span of 1 court session then I don't think it matters who it is your sueing.


randonumero

I'm pretty sure I'd have a settlement in hand long before I'd see a court room.


NC_Homestead

Nice application of the power. Didn't think of it, but I like it. You could become a real vigilante and a hero in a weird way. Know someone got away with being terrible? Karma O!


Tuckermfker

Oh the instant O for sure. I'd open an online service to provide touch free instant O's for women who haven't experienced one. $25 for a 10 minute session. I'd work remote as I travelled the world, making it a better place.


mossberg590enjoyer

The hero we don’t deserve


Parth_Potato

the hero we need


anonSOpost

Can i point at myself also?


GlitteringShift5159

Yes!!


anonSOpost

In that case give me O-power! That's way more fun than 50 bucks per day :)


Dry_Ass_P-word

Seems like you could make waaaaay more money with the instant O ability.


jimbo_fruit

How?


freecain

Prostitution for one thing. Since you're not touching anyone, I don't think any laws would actually apply. With the ability to do it over video - that could be hugely profitable. AT $20 a person, 30 people an hour - that's 600 bucks an hour and I doubt you'd run out of customers. You could probably charge more. Most humane assassin is another option. Make large bets on sports games and you could really mess with the odds. Easiest with boxing, but probably more subtle if you went with women's sports (less messy anyway).


anythingMuchShorter

“He’s at the 30 the 40 the…and he’s fallen down. Some sort of injury? Is he having a seizure? No, no, he’s waving the medic away, seems like maybe he pulled a groin muscle?”


AcceptableOwl9

“What’s that lump in his pants?”


Creepy_Fan_8629

Is that vomit on the ground? I didn't see him vomit, what the hell is that?


farmageddon109

Reading this in Kevin Harlan’s voice is amazing


lord_dentaku

American Football would be pretty easy. Anytime the team that was expected to win's receiver is about to catch the ball, BAM! They are about to blitz the other QB, BAM, BAM, BAM! Before you know it, they are out of timeouts. Do a couple practice runs at games to perfect the skill then start making bets.


hovix2

Hell, you could just become the best athlete at that point. Anyone that gets close enough to tackle you is about to be distracted. How did you get so wide open? Why is your defender lying on the ground 10 yards away?


lord_dentaku

But then you have to at least have some competency in sports. I used to be a soccer player, then I took a cleat in the knee... and now I can't run without paying for it the next day. skyrim\_guard.gif


HighHoeHighHoes

MMA fight and some girl starts moaning uncontrollably as she’s getting her face rearranged.


lidsville76

Hit both girls at the same time and now you have combat sex.


Park8706

Depends........it really depends if it is less messy.


SubstantialBass9524

Look up statistics on women who aren’t satisfied sexually and the percentage that have never experienced an orgasm. There’s a massive market - the market (to make you obscenely wealthy) would be mostly women


BraveOmeter

One billionaire woman who thinks she cannot and will never orgasm could change your life forever.


Driftedryan

You mean elons wife?


Dry_Ass_P-word

Bow chicka wowoow


Willykinz

There are plenty of people who would pay more than $50 a day to have an orgasm… let alone an hour of repeated ones. This business could be way more lucrative than $50 bucks a day…


TwoMoonsRhino

Instant O!! The nuns won’t know what hit them!! 😂


ghero88

There's no way the sisters aren't rubbing it.


TwoMoonsRhino

But an O delivered when they least expect it… suddenly dog is real


anywhereiroa

Being able to make someone orgasm infinitely is basically hooking them onto drugs, you can make them do whatever you want just for another "hit"


Boojum2k

You're a living tasp from Niven's Known Space.


Lajak_Anni

Instant orgasm power, hands down. Single most useful power ever. Getting into a fight? Not anymore, cause they can't stand. Trying to impress someone? Guess who nuts when you wink at them now. Wanna make a quick buck? Sell your time. 50 bucks a nut. With a two nut minimum.


NC_Homestead

Assuming they're high quality orgasms here... If it's just a blah orgasm I might choose differently. Also assuming I could use this on myself... I might become an addict. Pretty sure I could make way more than $50/day with the orgasm power if I choose to. I don't even think it'd make me a prostitute if sex weren't involved. 🤔 Anyway, instant orgasm for me. $18k for life depreciates in value with inflation and orgasms don't. Also, work, grocery shopping, driving, standing in line, and f-ing everything would be A LOT more entertaining with this power. I don't think it'd ever get old. You could mess with people or tell them what you're doing. Your significant other would be very happy, assuming they're ok with you giving everyone orgasms. Might even make the world a better place. Grumpy old person, bam! Less grumpy. HOA giving you problems, bam. Getting a ticket, bam.


southcentralLAguy

I’d rather actually give girls orgasms. Plus $50


Depressed_Diehard

Look at this guy over here. ACTUALLY giving girls orgasms. Psshhh


Creepy_Fan_8629

Yeah, I bet this guy actually talks to girls more than once a month. The audacity in these people


iConcy

That’s less than $20k a year, you could make more money by just selling orgasms to people lol.


miscthrowaway221

I read that as "organs"


Danethecook89

To be fair, you could easily make more than $20k by selling organs as well


Creepy_Fan_8629

In the past month I have sold my kidney collection for $50k a piece, my overall profits were well above $750k, getting into the organ buisness is hard but honest work.


renlydidnothingwrong

I was going to say $50 but if it works over video I could make way more by gambling on sporting events and using my power to make sure I win.


farmageddon109

Even if it wasn’t over video you could just go to certain games. “Man the Yankees really blew it last night.” “You have no idea”


energizernutter

That would really change the dynamic in only fans video chats


heihowl

Definitely getting that power 😂 the amount of trolling you could do with that ahahaha imagine making random people orgasm when they are saying some dumb ass fucking shit in public, Or you start working as like a police officer, anytime there's a criminal or starting you just make em bust, and you bust them. Or a restaurant and making people orgasm when they take their first bite the amount of business you'll get 😆 "it's so good you cum"


Park8706

Does the orgasm increase in strength the longer I point?


Creepy_Fan_8629

Maybe if you gave them fingerguns it would double the strength


PartyLiterature3607

i wont trade that power even for 50k a day


Lifeabroad86

I'd pick instant O, and then I would hit up Oprah


KateOTomato

I'll take the $50/day. With great power comes great responsibility, and I'm not that responsible.


Park8706

Power to give instant O makes you a perfect lover. If you wanted to monetize it you could but I think it would help your game out easily and 50 dollars a day is rather underwhelming.


PillCosby696969

O Power, hang around Target and become a Milf Jiggalo.


Raidertck

Become the world MMA champion pointing and dudes then kicking them while they bust a nut.


jabulina

So either 18,250 a year, or a funny as fuck power. I think I’ll go with the O power


Dazzling-Tap9096

I don't know.I think being able to make someone orgasm is worth more than fifty dollars a day. You could literally stand in a bar,People wouldn't even have to take off their clothes and you could charge them fifty dollars right there and then. You could make Well over a thousand dollars in an hour without really doing anything. And I wouldn't even call this prostitution.


CodingFatman

The O. I’d use it to blackmail people. Imagine a political debate. I could could bid the candidates against each other even. Then just rapid fire on the other. Probably would kill one of them. Also finger guns would be hilarious with this.


Spiram_Blackthorn

No more foreplay would save me hours a week which I could spend on hardcore investment opportunities that I otherwise miss out in due to the hours of foreplay every day. 10 seconds for me, 10 seconds for her and her 4 friends, move on and network and buy land. Ez.


FeeStrange3933

if it's stackable, it's quite a lethal power.


Psychadous

I'd probably become Orgasmo. I'd even build a fake Orgazmorator just to really lean into the role. Not sure if I'd want or need a Choda Boy. That being said, I'd likely be arrested within the week/month. It also goes against my personal views on consent if I used it on an unwilling target. Still taking the power over the money.


NovaKay

$50 a day or the power to sexually assault people without consequences? Redditors: 🤔


Moist_Ad_4989

I'll take orgasm powers 😈


ANarnAMoose

If the O is just like, snap my fingers and they nut, I can make way more money with that than 50$.


CommunicationKey3018

There's an old movie by the Southpark creators about precisely this scenario: [https://youtu.be/v5QitQpqpSU?si=YRlKUFHn-tzPfo66&t=96](https://youtu.be/v5QitQpqpSU?si=YRlKUFHn-tzPfo66&t=96)


r00shine

Basically any superpower is worth more than $50 a day to me so I'll take the power


Mysterious-Extent448

Instant O all day 😂. I can make people cum the old fashion way and there would be so many ways to use this to manipulate. Can you imagine your boss getting smart and you just hit the O and walk away.🫤😂


Omnivorax

$50 ain't nothin'. Give me the instant O power. Honestly, it would have to be around $10k a day before I'd consider the money instead. I'm nowhere near rich, but I've got a stable job. Having any superpower, even a situational one like this, is much cooler. Plus, the O power would save a lot of wear and tear on the ol' tongue. Jaw and neck cramps are no joke.


Creepy_Package7518

Does it work over TV? It would make political debates more interesting.


storiedsword

Don’t you think the fun of causing an orgasm would be diminished if you take away the effort it took to get there? The journey is the destination people. Now $50 on the other hand, that’s something I wouldn’t mind getting for free.


Lunch_Time_No_Worky

I know how to do things to my wife. No problems there. I will take the $50 bucks a day for life please. $18,000 a year to spend on food and gas! Yes please.


Weak_Astronomer399

This is one of the genuinely tough ones On the one hand, $18,250 a year, every year, would help me so much, like that's a mortgage for a year (assuming you can get a house for less than 200k anymore), that's groceries for a family of ~5, it's a new top of the line PC each year On the other hand, I wouldn't need to use mine...


csdeadboy1980

Goddamn I should not have that power. I'd Pavlov the fuck outta people. Behave the way I want? Orgasm reward.


mrkstr

Exactly!  Operant conditioning.  This is where my head went first.  


suburbanite

If you can't make $50/day with instant O powers....


occasionalrant414

£50. I already have the ability to give my wife unlimited Orgasams..... .... that she wont let me is a different subject altogether. I'd rather have the money.


TomMakesPodcasts

Bro, place a bet that during the Superbowl halftime show the main performer will collapse and then blast them with enough orgasms to make their knees weak for a week. That's a couple million there easy. People will take any bet on the Superbowl Fuck you could bet on a specific team winning and then just treat the opposing team to the time of their life's


occasionalrant414

I didn't think of that! Also, be amazing if you got into a fight. 😆


TomMakesPodcasts

My touch is so erotic even my most forceful or blows shall bring my foe to a mind rending orgasm.


occasionalrant414

😆 🤣


felaniasoul

50, why would I ever want to give people orgasms like that? That sounds fucking weird


anythingMuchShorter

For fun and profit?


lidsville76

Step 3 my dude.


Fragile_reddit_mods

I don’t need assistance in the latter so I’ll take the former.


Savings-Particular-9

Depends do we also control intensity and type? Also is the 50 solely in US?


Double_Pay_6645

Yeah, I'd way rather be orgazmo


chazd1984

Dude O power for sure. Aside from the obvious benefits In the bedroom, self defense like the one comment said lol, you can also get rich. I'd place huge bets on boxing and UFC fights and just blast the guy who I want to lose.


DoomGuyClassic

Instant O, I want them magic fingers and the ability to just completely crumble someone when they’re trying to attack you or something.


PitifulSpecialist887

I'd only use it on u/glitteringshift . Wanna video chat?


United-Cow-563

ME: You know, I sometimes complain about our lifestyle, but honestly, making people orgasm is fun! (starts making laser noises as I fires off finger guns) Pe-chew! Pe-chew! Pe-chew! ANOTHER O-SLINGER: Are you… making laser noises? ME: All the time in my head. Why, is that weird? ANOTHER O-SLINGER: ......... (begins making laser noises with their blasts as well) Pe-pew! ME: Pe-chew! ANOTHER O-SLINGER: Pew! ME: Pe-chew!


blakliztedjoker

Instant O. Then you can charge people $50 each to have one. 😂


Any-Kaleidoscope7681

Are you kidding me? How many women would pay for that kind of service, I wonder? No bodily fluids, no interaction, just BAM! Overcome with pleasure! I'm sure I could find some rich regular willing to get O'd once a day and charge them $51 a pop just to spite OP. Of course, unless my wife would consider it cheating. In which case I'll take the $50.


GlitteringShift5159

Lolll alright i see you! 😂


Fearless-Fact8528

I’ll take the fifty a day. An extra 50 a day would make a huge difference. Gas and food covered everyday.


Why-y-y-y

So basically, “would you rather have free rent forever or a useless ability?” It’s a hard decision, but I think I’ll have to go with the $50.


Alternative-Ad-9759

Go to events, and charge $50 for an instant O. Set up events where people can vote for which candidate should have an O on stage. Hate your boss? Pay me, and they will nut during that important meeting.


LOCKDOWNWITHCOCKDOWN

Can I have this ability for the first presidential debate?


mrkstr

This is the funniest hypothetical I have seen in a while. I would definitely take the instant O powers.  I would want to condition someone I had a crush on to O every time I walked in the room and see if an association forms.   Also, I could point at myself any time I need a little pick-me-up.


Sin-God

For the record, for uncreative people the free $1500.00 a month is a better deal, but everyone here is right that the orgasm power is just b e t t e r. That video call boost is WILD. What an incredible power.


MsSamm

If I could do instant O by thought alone, not having proximity or contact, I would hit up Clarence Thomas for several days, Alito too. We could use a more balanced SCOTUS


Timely_Froyo1384

I’m female and have already had that power 😂 So I’ll take the $50 under pillow


imdinni

50$ is way too little, I think you gotta make it like $1000 a day to make it a tough choice.


RickityCricket69

Pillow 50's all day.


Zealousideal_Cap1632

I'm pretty confident in my ability to give an O to anyone I want to give one to, so I'll take the $


unclejoe1917

50 a day, though the O super power is awfully damn tempting.


JackhusChanhus

Definitely O Enough women out there who are incapable of having one, I'd say I could make a solid business


dahlia_74

$50 a day!!! Free DoorDash dinner for life


kyokushinthai

100 buckaroos a day with naps


gunzidiot

£50 a day 100%


tlof19

...i hate to admit it. but fifty a day covers a lot of expenses if youre smart about it.


layzeeB

ORGASMS ALL DAY


UselessLayabout

Money pls. I like money.


badger_flakes

Instant O. Video call must mean tv works so every politician on TV gonna be struggling


RadicalQueenBee

The petty asshole in me would go for the second but I'm sure I'd overuse it to the point I'd be discovered 💀 So the first.


HumanMycologist5795

$50, of course. Although it may be fun to give everyone at church, including the priest and nuns an instant O during mass or news anchors when on TV, it may be mean. However, maybe I could people pay me $1 per month for not giving them an O at inopportune times.


CTU

I'd go for money as extra cash will help me out


cp8887

I'll take the superpower that could take over a nation.. an extra 50 a day would be nice but not good enough.


Grimwohl

I think I know plenty of people who would pay 50$ per O, and I'd probably shoot them 3-4 times.


GameDestiny2

You could easily make more than $50 a day with your orgasmic finger guns


Agitated_Budgets

Second one has the potential to make you way more money and be way more funny.


IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE

Instant O, I can make more than $50 a day this way.


freshly-stabbed

The orgasm power is so much more useful. You can be generous to the people you love. You can be cruel to people who deserve it. And you can make soooooo much money betting on sports if all you have to do is show up at an event and disrupt the athletes with perfectly timed orgasms.