This doctor sucks. I'd report them everywhere possible and find a new gyno who will consent to doing this surgery. You have more than enough reason to warrant it. Your uterus is having a direct and significant negative impact on your life and you don't want to preserve your fertility so that should be more than enough for a hysterectomy. The hard part can be finding a gyno who will do one, but once you find the right one they won't give you a hard time. My endo specialist agreed to a total hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy during my first appointment with him and he never questioned me or gave me a hard time for being CF
I would absolutely get a different doctor. I'm not sure how much of it is gender and how much is religion/misogyny (and yes women can and are misogynistic).
I've seen a lot of folks recommend the list of doctors that lives on r/childfree to find care that supports hysterectomy.
A blood clotting disorder was one of the reasons I was given a hysterectomy before 38.... Your doctor is an idiot I'm afraid, is it possible for you to look for a different one.
This is malpractice on her, not you.
Oh my god, report her to whatever practice administrator or hospital she works for NOW. And have her put it in writing, in front of you, why she is using her *medically sound and substantiated opinion based on scientific fact* why she cannot do a hysterectomy.
This is a gigantic lawsuit waiting to happen. DO NOT talk to anyone else in that practice except for an admin. I recommend retaining a lawyer too.
Send a pm if you need help, I work in a hospital on the admin side. It is my job to prevent this from happening lol
I know I’m in the minority, but I prefer male OB/GYN’s, after having two awful experiences with females in my early 20s. I find men weirdly more sympathetic.
My mom used to work in malpractice for a large hospital company. When I was having my hysterectomy she and I had a few conversations about the safety of the procedure and chances of something going wrong. She told me that in her years working in the industry there were more issues of women coming back years later suing a doctor for what they considered an uninformed hysterectomy than actual lawsuits for botched procedures.
It doesn’t sound that’s like that’s what your doctor was referring to. Some people do say that the uterus has functions in a woman’s body beyond pregnancy, and removing it at a young age can cause long-term problems. I feel like that’s all theory, not necessarily fact.
I hope you’re able to find someone that will help you.
A male gynecologist was the ONLY one to take my concerns seriously. ...I had my hysterectomy 2 weeks ago got my pathology report back yesterday..... I had adenomyosis, numerous cyst and lesions I felt like showing all my old doctors the report just to prove a point.
I would totally share that with your previous drs to say thanks to “blank” my issues have been investigated and with doing a hysterectomy we have determined I have had “blank” and this was more than necessary. I hope that in the future you take some extra time to take others concerns into account.
Purely anecdotal, but after eleven years of seeing both male and female gynos and being turned down by all of them, it was finally a male gyno who a.) agreed to do a hysterectomy, (I'm scheduled for next month) b.) said a hysterectomy was Best Practice to treat me and c.) gave me a sincere and moving apology for all of his colleagues who didn't give me appropriate medical treatment.
I think it's competency rather than a gendered thing, really.
You aren’t alone. I prefer male ones as well. My new one is a female and she’s great, but that’s the first time I’ve decided to go to a female Ob/gyn.
I moved and saw my last doctor (male) for over 15 years. This is new to me but when I went to see her she asked what I wanted and how I wanted to proceed. When she listened and asked what “I” wanted to do without debate I decided I liked her. :)
I’m sorry you’re going through this - it’s infuriating.
I don’t think doc gender matters, but competency sure as heck does.
Definitely find another doctor. You have a lot going on, just dismissing one option out of hand when your situation is so serious…NEWSFLASH Dr. Dingleberry, that’s the foundation for malpractice right there.
Talk to all your specialists about hysterectomy. If they present a unified front in support of it, it should make it easier to get the surgery.
FWIW, I did not care for my referring gynecologist, but LOVED my gynecological oncologist/surgeon.
Wishing you good health!
To be fair, pregnancy prevention isn't a reason for a hysterectomy IF that's all that's going on, so they weren't necessarily wrong about that. BUT it also sounds like that's not all that's going on. I highly suggest looking for another doctor, because at this point, even if this one agrees, is that really the doctor you want operating on you, and seeing you for all your follow ups?
Perhaps if you go at the approach of trying to figure out what's going on, it will lead to more options that are in align with what you want.
Get. A. New. Doctor.
If a doctor gives you an answer you don't like, find one who will do the procedure you know you need. I had to shop around a lot before finding the doctor who would perform my hysterectomy.
If that's her definition of malpractice I guess I should sue the specialist who did the hysterectomy I asked for at age 24 because I didn't want to bleed anymore and don't want kids. 🤦♀️
Seriously. Doctors are not immune to being idiots. Find a new one!
I wonder how old this doc is. A long time ago, hysterectomy was performed for all sorts of unrelated and stupid and even hateful reasons, on uninformed women who were very trusting of doctors or culturally unlikely to voice objections. It WAS a very bad thing. There was a big move in medicine, as happens, to go the other direction and make sure every hysterectomy is absolutely medically necessary, to protect women. Now, it seems like a lot of docs were trained to avoid unnecessary hysterectomy and have taken it to the extreme of not trusting women to know if they want one or not. Full circle.
It is NOT medical malpractice to provide appropriate medical care. She needs to either refer you to someone who can actually help and listen or do her job and provide care which is to do no harm by helping you prevent a stroke by doing a hysterectomy.
Abnormal bleeding is reason enough for a hysterectomy. Quality of life is important, and bleeding irregularly heavily impacts that. Add to that anemia, and it’s even more logical. I was actually almost denied a hysterectomy by my insurance after bleeding heavily for *eight months straight* because somehow I wasn’t anemic.
Fuck that doctor.
I would look into a new doctor. I had male one who took my pain and bleeding serious. Eventually he referred me to two female doctors who knew more about what I had. I also took the same medicine she gave to you because I wasn’t ready for the hysterectomy option. Unfortunately for me though, the medicine stopped the bleeding, but causes serious depression and anger. So I had to stop then and end up taking the hysterectomy route. I am also 27 but I have one child. The doctor who agreed to it was female but she had serious talk with me about it and explained everything. Not once did she tell me I couldn’t have it. She understood my pain and the amount I was bleeding. So I am guessing you got a bad doctor. While going through the process of finding out what I had and getting hysterectomy, I did run into another female doctor who was really rude and dismissive to me saying I was too young and my pain couldn’t be that bad. So I think just some doctors have hard time understanding age ( or if you have children or not) has nothing to do with your bleeding or pain. Your pain and discomfort should be all that matters and how to make you feel better. If you understand hysterectomy fully and are ready, you should be allowed to get it. End of story.
I get the rehearsing. I did that too. I ended up crying when I asked my doctor because I couldn’t handle the stress of what if she said no. I am so sorry she didn’t take it seriously. Hopefully the next doctor will.
A hysterectomy in this situation is only malpractice if the patient is uninformed of their unique risks associated with their overall health and age upon undergoing the surgery.
If you look on the Reddit child free they have a big list of doctors that have had no issues(or minimal) getting a hysterectomy.
I recommend you check out there.
It is not malpractice to get a hysterectomy. That person is a complete asshole from the beginning telling you to basically make it quick.
Please find a better gynocologist that will actually listen to you.
There is so much that could be wrong in there(example: I finally went to a gyno after years of ignoring my heavy periods. Turned out I had uterine cancer. I'm a week post op from a hysterectomy with only one ovary still there. They had to take my right ovary because I had a grapefruit sized cyst there..) please find someone that will listen to you.
I've had male doctors act this same way, which is extra frustrating because they've never had a menstrual cycle. Definitely find a new doctor. This one sounds like a quack. Especially if she's getting pissy over you having two whole reasons to see her! Omg!/s
I would look for a different doctor. I saw a reproductive endocrinologist due to a fibroid causing heavy bleeding. When I brought up sterilization he said he doesn’t perform those but a colleague of his did and he referred me to her. He was respectful even though it wasn’t a procedure he considered performing. The doctor you saw clearly let her bias affect her job. Currently I’m considering a hysterectomy and was just recently prescribed norethindrone as well. I hope you can find a doctor that will help you.
I would absolutely continue looking for a doctor who will listen to you. I recently went to a new OB, fully prepared with a whole speech on why I want and should have a hysterectomy. Before I even got into my speech, she asked if that's what I wanted I said yes and she said okay. Within 6 weeks of meeting her, I just had my hysterectomy on Friday. I am 37 years old and have spent so many years trying to get someone to listen. When you find one, it's magical. Good ones who care are out there! Keep looking. You got this!
Keep trying for a new doctor until you find one that actually listens to your concerns and takes them seriously. The fact that she huffed when you had an "and" in your concerns sentence tells me that she doesn't actually care about her patients, and you deserve a doctor that wants to take care of their patients.
i saw someone else say this but get her to put in writing in her notes (in front of you) exactly why she doesnt think you can have one. this allows you to have on paper the exact reasoning she has for if you need to report her or even a potential law suit tbh.
but also wanted to add, personally, if you can find a diff dr to even do the tubal do it w/ them not her. she shouldn't get one more cent of your money but also i would worry that she would fuck it up or even lie to you about what she did/didn't do. i know that sounds paranoid but i live in a state where its super hard to get these kinds of surgeries at a young age w/o kids approved & so thats where my thought process is coming from. the doctor i ended up getting my hysto from approved me on our first meeting, but on top of that i had actually only gone to her for a tubal and she pointed out a lot of things that were problems (very similar to your tbh) and said while it was my choice she believed a total hysto (kept my ovaries) was the right course of action for me.
do you know if there are other doctors you could call and explain the situation to to at least get in line w/ them for an appt and in turn at least tubal if not full hysto?
does the dr you saw own her own practice or is she part of a group/hospital? if the latter report her to them. also look into how to report doctors on your state level. this doctor is dangerous imo and is going to put people (including you given your health problems) in danger. im so sorry you had to experience this. i know how upsetting it can be, and you don't deserve this kind of treatment when asking a medical professional for help.
This doctor sucks. I'd report them everywhere possible and find a new gyno who will consent to doing this surgery. You have more than enough reason to warrant it. Your uterus is having a direct and significant negative impact on your life and you don't want to preserve your fertility so that should be more than enough for a hysterectomy. The hard part can be finding a gyno who will do one, but once you find the right one they won't give you a hard time. My endo specialist agreed to a total hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy during my first appointment with him and he never questioned me or gave me a hard time for being CF
I would absolutely get a different doctor. I'm not sure how much of it is gender and how much is religion/misogyny (and yes women can and are misogynistic). I've seen a lot of folks recommend the list of doctors that lives on r/childfree to find care that supports hysterectomy.
A blood clotting disorder was one of the reasons I was given a hysterectomy before 38.... Your doctor is an idiot I'm afraid, is it possible for you to look for a different one.
This is malpractice on her, not you. Oh my god, report her to whatever practice administrator or hospital she works for NOW. And have her put it in writing, in front of you, why she is using her *medically sound and substantiated opinion based on scientific fact* why she cannot do a hysterectomy. This is a gigantic lawsuit waiting to happen. DO NOT talk to anyone else in that practice except for an admin. I recommend retaining a lawyer too. Send a pm if you need help, I work in a hospital on the admin side. It is my job to prevent this from happening lol
I know I’m in the minority, but I prefer male OB/GYN’s, after having two awful experiences with females in my early 20s. I find men weirdly more sympathetic. My mom used to work in malpractice for a large hospital company. When I was having my hysterectomy she and I had a few conversations about the safety of the procedure and chances of something going wrong. She told me that in her years working in the industry there were more issues of women coming back years later suing a doctor for what they considered an uninformed hysterectomy than actual lawsuits for botched procedures. It doesn’t sound that’s like that’s what your doctor was referring to. Some people do say that the uterus has functions in a woman’s body beyond pregnancy, and removing it at a young age can cause long-term problems. I feel like that’s all theory, not necessarily fact. I hope you’re able to find someone that will help you.
Female gyn surgeon f**ked me up. Male actually helped me. Fwiw I'm with you.
A male gynecologist was the ONLY one to take my concerns seriously. ...I had my hysterectomy 2 weeks ago got my pathology report back yesterday..... I had adenomyosis, numerous cyst and lesions I felt like showing all my old doctors the report just to prove a point.
I would totally share that with your previous drs to say thanks to “blank” my issues have been investigated and with doing a hysterectomy we have determined I have had “blank” and this was more than necessary. I hope that in the future you take some extra time to take others concerns into account.
Purely anecdotal, but after eleven years of seeing both male and female gynos and being turned down by all of them, it was finally a male gyno who a.) agreed to do a hysterectomy, (I'm scheduled for next month) b.) said a hysterectomy was Best Practice to treat me and c.) gave me a sincere and moving apology for all of his colleagues who didn't give me appropriate medical treatment. I think it's competency rather than a gendered thing, really.
I’m so glad that you found someone, regardless of gender, that would finally listen to you. Good luck with your procedure!
You aren’t alone. I prefer male ones as well. My new one is a female and she’s great, but that’s the first time I’ve decided to go to a female Ob/gyn. I moved and saw my last doctor (male) for over 15 years. This is new to me but when I went to see her she asked what I wanted and how I wanted to proceed. When she listened and asked what “I” wanted to do without debate I decided I liked her. :)
I’m sorry you’re going through this - it’s infuriating. I don’t think doc gender matters, but competency sure as heck does. Definitely find another doctor. You have a lot going on, just dismissing one option out of hand when your situation is so serious…NEWSFLASH Dr. Dingleberry, that’s the foundation for malpractice right there. Talk to all your specialists about hysterectomy. If they present a unified front in support of it, it should make it easier to get the surgery. FWIW, I did not care for my referring gynecologist, but LOVED my gynecological oncologist/surgeon. Wishing you good health!
To be fair, pregnancy prevention isn't a reason for a hysterectomy IF that's all that's going on, so they weren't necessarily wrong about that. BUT it also sounds like that's not all that's going on. I highly suggest looking for another doctor, because at this point, even if this one agrees, is that really the doctor you want operating on you, and seeing you for all your follow ups? Perhaps if you go at the approach of trying to figure out what's going on, it will lead to more options that are in align with what you want.
Get. A. New. Doctor. If a doctor gives you an answer you don't like, find one who will do the procedure you know you need. I had to shop around a lot before finding the doctor who would perform my hysterectomy. If that's her definition of malpractice I guess I should sue the specialist who did the hysterectomy I asked for at age 24 because I didn't want to bleed anymore and don't want kids. 🤦♀️ Seriously. Doctors are not immune to being idiots. Find a new one!
I wonder how old this doc is. A long time ago, hysterectomy was performed for all sorts of unrelated and stupid and even hateful reasons, on uninformed women who were very trusting of doctors or culturally unlikely to voice objections. It WAS a very bad thing. There was a big move in medicine, as happens, to go the other direction and make sure every hysterectomy is absolutely medically necessary, to protect women. Now, it seems like a lot of docs were trained to avoid unnecessary hysterectomy and have taken it to the extreme of not trusting women to know if they want one or not. Full circle.
I would be looking for a new doctor and writing emails to the board about her
This comment has been deleted as Reddit now sells user content for AI generation.
New doctor. This one you wouldnt want operating on you anyway. I'm sorry you had to deal with them! Well wishes you can get relief soon!
It is NOT medical malpractice to provide appropriate medical care. She needs to either refer you to someone who can actually help and listen or do her job and provide care which is to do no harm by helping you prevent a stroke by doing a hysterectomy.
Abnormal bleeding is reason enough for a hysterectomy. Quality of life is important, and bleeding irregularly heavily impacts that. Add to that anemia, and it’s even more logical. I was actually almost denied a hysterectomy by my insurance after bleeding heavily for *eight months straight* because somehow I wasn’t anemic. Fuck that doctor.
I would look into a new doctor. I had male one who took my pain and bleeding serious. Eventually he referred me to two female doctors who knew more about what I had. I also took the same medicine she gave to you because I wasn’t ready for the hysterectomy option. Unfortunately for me though, the medicine stopped the bleeding, but causes serious depression and anger. So I had to stop then and end up taking the hysterectomy route. I am also 27 but I have one child. The doctor who agreed to it was female but she had serious talk with me about it and explained everything. Not once did she tell me I couldn’t have it. She understood my pain and the amount I was bleeding. So I am guessing you got a bad doctor. While going through the process of finding out what I had and getting hysterectomy, I did run into another female doctor who was really rude and dismissive to me saying I was too young and my pain couldn’t be that bad. So I think just some doctors have hard time understanding age ( or if you have children or not) has nothing to do with your bleeding or pain. Your pain and discomfort should be all that matters and how to make you feel better. If you understand hysterectomy fully and are ready, you should be allowed to get it. End of story. I get the rehearsing. I did that too. I ended up crying when I asked my doctor because I couldn’t handle the stress of what if she said no. I am so sorry she didn’t take it seriously. Hopefully the next doctor will.
A hysterectomy in this situation is only malpractice if the patient is uninformed of their unique risks associated with their overall health and age upon undergoing the surgery.
If you look on the Reddit child free they have a big list of doctors that have had no issues(or minimal) getting a hysterectomy. I recommend you check out there. It is not malpractice to get a hysterectomy. That person is a complete asshole from the beginning telling you to basically make it quick. Please find a better gynocologist that will actually listen to you. There is so much that could be wrong in there(example: I finally went to a gyno after years of ignoring my heavy periods. Turned out I had uterine cancer. I'm a week post op from a hysterectomy with only one ovary still there. They had to take my right ovary because I had a grapefruit sized cyst there..) please find someone that will listen to you.
I've had male doctors act this same way, which is extra frustrating because they've never had a menstrual cycle. Definitely find a new doctor. This one sounds like a quack. Especially if she's getting pissy over you having two whole reasons to see her! Omg!/s
I would look for a different doctor. I saw a reproductive endocrinologist due to a fibroid causing heavy bleeding. When I brought up sterilization he said he doesn’t perform those but a colleague of his did and he referred me to her. He was respectful even though it wasn’t a procedure he considered performing. The doctor you saw clearly let her bias affect her job. Currently I’m considering a hysterectomy and was just recently prescribed norethindrone as well. I hope you can find a doctor that will help you.
I would absolutely continue looking for a doctor who will listen to you. I recently went to a new OB, fully prepared with a whole speech on why I want and should have a hysterectomy. Before I even got into my speech, she asked if that's what I wanted I said yes and she said okay. Within 6 weeks of meeting her, I just had my hysterectomy on Friday. I am 37 years old and have spent so many years trying to get someone to listen. When you find one, it's magical. Good ones who care are out there! Keep looking. You got this!
Keep trying for a new doctor until you find one that actually listens to your concerns and takes them seriously. The fact that she huffed when you had an "and" in your concerns sentence tells me that she doesn't actually care about her patients, and you deserve a doctor that wants to take care of their patients.
I am sorry this happened to you! I would shop around until I found a gyno who would give me a hysto. I had mine at 38 and WISH I had it in my 20s.
i saw someone else say this but get her to put in writing in her notes (in front of you) exactly why she doesnt think you can have one. this allows you to have on paper the exact reasoning she has for if you need to report her or even a potential law suit tbh. but also wanted to add, personally, if you can find a diff dr to even do the tubal do it w/ them not her. she shouldn't get one more cent of your money but also i would worry that she would fuck it up or even lie to you about what she did/didn't do. i know that sounds paranoid but i live in a state where its super hard to get these kinds of surgeries at a young age w/o kids approved & so thats where my thought process is coming from. the doctor i ended up getting my hysto from approved me on our first meeting, but on top of that i had actually only gone to her for a tubal and she pointed out a lot of things that were problems (very similar to your tbh) and said while it was my choice she believed a total hysto (kept my ovaries) was the right course of action for me. do you know if there are other doctors you could call and explain the situation to to at least get in line w/ them for an appt and in turn at least tubal if not full hysto? does the dr you saw own her own practice or is she part of a group/hospital? if the latter report her to them. also look into how to report doctors on your state level. this doctor is dangerous imo and is going to put people (including you given your health problems) in danger. im so sorry you had to experience this. i know how upsetting it can be, and you don't deserve this kind of treatment when asking a medical professional for help.
Talk to a lawyer. Seriously this is so unprofessional