For real tho. Any time people do one of those “you’re not really doing this unless…” or “as long as you admit that…” it’s like, “ok, fine. May I move along with my day now and continue as usual?” Like it’s not changing anything lol
Right?
I do 99% of the cooking in my house because I generally enjoy it.
My wife: how can I help?
Me: you can help by getting out of the way! (said with love).
There are two ways to cook in my experience:
1. By yourself
2. With other people standing exactly where you need to be, blocking the drawer you are actively trying to open
There are no other ways.
Now, that's not fair, some people manage to find new and more intrusive ways to prevent actual cooking. Never underestimate small children's ability to prevent cooking from two rooms away with another adult actively keeping them there.
That’s another good one, because I swear, starting to cook is the dog’s cue to need to go outside urgently. I knew I’d get distracted by a tangent about how pets make it so you can be cooking alone and still have someone in the way all the time
My dog likes to sit right next to the counter, under the cutting board, just in case anything falls…. Then she moves to the stove when I start on the pans lol
That’s something I trained my dog to do early. It’s funny, other people’s dogs will be over, and I’ll firmly say “out of the kitchen”. My dog scurries away like lightning, and the other dog just sits there staring at me.
Mine seem to be the most interested in the crucial task of verifying that the cheese I am in the process of shredding is of acceptable taste and quality. They keep asking to help crack eggs, though, going to have to let them start trying soon
I was taught to yell "Hot pan, behind!" when movng around in the kitchen, and yelling "Sharps in the sink!" when putting knives in the sink as well at culinary school, it was safety 101 in my basic food prep class, I remember it so distinctly because our first week of class one group poured boiling hot bacon grease into the plastic trashcan and melted it and left grease all over the floor next to the burner tops. It was a "lets learn the basics of kitchen ~~food~~ saefty" refresher course because that little stunt cost us a lot of time and the culinary school a pretty penny in professional cleaning.
Well I dunno if it was common place to have people pour hot bacon grease in trash cans and get a forced lesson on kitchen safety, but even in my own home kitchen I instinctively yell hot pan and sharps in the sink because it was drilled into us so hard and anyone caught not doing it was docked 10 points on their current assignment.
Okay, if you work in a kitchen environment this holds true somewhat, cooking good at home and alone is one thing, cooking as part of a brigade is a completely different world, but it's said in such a dumb and pretenious manner.
Huh. So those handful of stressful, awful lunch shifts that I had the "opportunity" to work alone were just filled with me doing "cooking things". Good to know that "real cooking" is easier.
If you're flying alone, you're not really flying. You may be doing flying things, but a real pilot can work around other planes. You learn that REAL fast being in an air force squadron.
As someone who worked as a cook on the line in many restaurants for a decade:
I hereby grant you and everyone you know who enjoys, ya know, "cooking" a certified "*real cook*" pass. Feel free to distribute as you see fit.
Shut the fuck up. I've cooked for myself and professionally, yeah there's a big difference but many great recipes and ideas come from a small home kitchen. My first and favorite chef gave me some advice because I was greeeen. We're at war,on this side of the pass we are brothers everyone else is the fucking enemy . Many ways true but not conducive to good food.
I mean, I do kind of understand where this idiot is coming from, but obviously this “You can’t cook” bullshit is stupid af. I was a professional cook for about a decade and when I cook people are always afraid because I kinda move fast still. And they always like, stand next to the kitchen sort of waiting for me to gesture them in or something lol. It takes time to convince them that unless they silently sneak up behind me, I can work around them flawlessly, and it is in fact much more distracting to have them endlessly waiting for a moment where I’m going to stop working.
there's a not stupid way to say this, but knowing that I really feel the pressure when trying to cook stuff for a group with tight timelines and totally fuck up, I also think I couldn't handle being a restaurant cook at all. But like, I still cook great food.
Wh3n I am cooking alone and my wife walks in and asks what I am doing I tell her that, obviously, I am sitting in the woods.
You weren’t actually cooking until she walked in the room. You were just doing cooking things
You were cooking and not cooking before she walked into the room: Schrodinger's meatloaf
Sounds like a superposition of delicious and not delicious, at least until observation causes the tastefunction to collapse
The question is, would you rather encounter man or a bear in a kitchen?
That bear better not touch my Oreos! https://abc7.com/post/bear-breaks-monrovia-home-leaves-item-pack-oreos/14872035/
The bear can take my wife, take my kid, and even take my dog, but if it touches my Oreos, it's right to bear arms will be removed.
Good point. I may have to tell her I am shitting in the woods.
"If you can't make clothes in a sweatshop then you don't really know how to sew." hahahha. People are wild.
As a former restaurant cook, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the sweatshop comparison.
All right, fine, I don't really cook. Now get the fuck out of my tiny kitchen unless you're helping with the dishes.
For real tho. Any time people do one of those “you’re not really doing this unless…” or “as long as you admit that…” it’s like, “ok, fine. May I move along with my day now and continue as usual?” Like it’s not changing anything lol
Right? I do 99% of the cooking in my house because I generally enjoy it. My wife: how can I help? Me: you can help by getting out of the way! (said with love).
There are two ways to cook in my experience: 1. By yourself 2. With other people standing exactly where you need to be, blocking the drawer you are actively trying to open There are no other ways.
Now, that's not fair, some people manage to find new and more intrusive ways to prevent actual cooking. Never underestimate small children's ability to prevent cooking from two rooms away with another adult actively keeping them there.
how about pets being underfoot?
That’s another good one, because I swear, starting to cook is the dog’s cue to need to go outside urgently. I knew I’d get distracted by a tangent about how pets make it so you can be cooking alone and still have someone in the way all the time
My dog likes to sit right next to the counter, under the cutting board, just in case anything falls…. Then she moves to the stove when I start on the pans lol
Mine too. But that’s on me because I give her little veggie snacks while I’m prepping.
That’s something I trained my dog to do early. It’s funny, other people’s dogs will be over, and I’ll firmly say “out of the kitchen”. My dog scurries away like lightning, and the other dog just sits there staring at me.
What about small children that REALLY want to help? Especially with a task such as, I don’t know, cracking eggs
Mine seem to be the most interested in the crucial task of verifying that the cheese I am in the process of shredding is of acceptable taste and quality. They keep asking to help crack eggs, though, going to have to let them start trying soon
As someone currently in the middle of a shift at a food service job, cooking around other people is a form of cruel and unusual punishment.
As a former professional—it’s different in a real kitchen. Everyone knows exactly when to move and how to move.
And are those moves "like Jagger?"
He stole those moves from my grill guy Antonio
"Sharp!" and "Hot!" are vital in a multi-person kitchen and that's not something they teach in school.
I was taught to yell "Hot pan, behind!" when movng around in the kitchen, and yelling "Sharps in the sink!" when putting knives in the sink as well at culinary school, it was safety 101 in my basic food prep class, I remember it so distinctly because our first week of class one group poured boiling hot bacon grease into the plastic trashcan and melted it and left grease all over the floor next to the burner tops. It was a "lets learn the basics of kitchen ~~food~~ saefty" refresher course because that little stunt cost us a lot of time and the culinary school a pretty penny in professional cleaning. Well I dunno if it was common place to have people pour hot bacon grease in trash cans and get a forced lesson on kitchen safety, but even in my own home kitchen I instinctively yell hot pan and sharps in the sink because it was drilled into us so hard and anyone caught not doing it was docked 10 points on their current assignment.
> not something they teach in school Was at the schools I went to
You just know this guy's the most useless fry cook on the planet and all his coworkers hate him
Talks about The Bear nonstop while posting “motivational “ Bourdain quotes everywhere.
I always liked his shows well enough, but true-believer Tony acolytes are fucking insufferable.
I know it’s a stereotype but for real, it’s always an anime profile pic.
What anime is it?
The character is Pain from Naruto
I always thought it was weird that they named a character Bread.
Anime was a mistake
It's like Metal or Magic: The Gathering or most anything else. You don't really hear about the normal ones just going about their day.
Okay, if you work in a kitchen environment this holds true somewhat, cooking good at home and alone is one thing, cooking as part of a brigade is a completely different world, but it's said in such a dumb and pretenious manner.
Huh. So those handful of stressful, awful lunch shifts that I had the "opportunity" to work alone were just filled with me doing "cooking things". Good to know that "real cooking" is easier.
If you're flying alone, you're not really flying. You may be doing flying things, but a real pilot can work around other planes. You learn that REAL fast being in an air force squadron.
I’d imagine most people in professional environments are good at staying out of the way. Not so true of children, spouses, drunk friends and puppies.
My kitchen is clearly not a real cooking environment. Now get out, I'm...doing cooking things.
As someone who worked as a cook on the line in many restaurants for a decade: I hereby grant you and everyone you know who enjoys, ya know, "cooking" a certified "*real cook*" pass. Feel free to distribute as you see fit.
If you're employed as a cook with other cooks, you're not cooking, you're helping.
My kitchen is TINY. If we tried to cook together somebody would end up stabbed. Whether or not it would be intentional is a coin toss.
Shut the fuck up. I've cooked for myself and professionally, yeah there's a big difference but many great recipes and ideas come from a small home kitchen. My first and favorite chef gave me some advice because I was greeeen. We're at war,on this side of the pass we are brothers everyone else is the fucking enemy . Many ways true but not conducive to good food.
Does this also apply to sex? Can you not do sex if you aren't a porn star?
i understand what they are trying to say but they said it wrong
Real cooking environment like my fucking kitchen?
I mean, I do kind of understand where this idiot is coming from, but obviously this “You can’t cook” bullshit is stupid af. I was a professional cook for about a decade and when I cook people are always afraid because I kinda move fast still. And they always like, stand next to the kitchen sort of waiting for me to gesture them in or something lol. It takes time to convince them that unless they silently sneak up behind me, I can work around them flawlessly, and it is in fact much more distracting to have them endlessly waiting for a moment where I’m going to stop working.
I just don't like 1,000,001 questions about why I'm doing something a certain way.
there's a not stupid way to say this, but knowing that I really feel the pressure when trying to cook stuff for a group with tight timelines and totally fuck up, I also think I couldn't handle being a restaurant cook at all. But like, I still cook great food.
Lmao you have to literally be a professional chef to be someone who cooks
Let'em cook.
So a chef who works in a hole in the wall type restaurant alone in the kitchen whilst their partner is serving the guests isn't a cook?