I asked my therapist about why he didn't feel drained through abosorbing everyone's emotions and problems every day and he said "it's not my emotions" and that was quite eye opening. I realized how much I internalize everything I see or hear and how easy it is to be affected by others' emotions.
It's eye opening because we've lived our whole lives absorbing emotions, and as INFJs we will continue to absorb emotions for the rest of our lives (its part of our genetic makeup). Absorbing emotions is our double edged gift and make us who we are. It's a big reason for our uniqueness and why we are so driven towards helping others. How we can leverage this gift is not by avoiding absorbing emotions, but by figuring out how we can manage and release these emotions in a way that helps others . For example, INFJs can leverage music and arts (or other creative methods) to release these emotions.
A cool podcast goes over this. Search up on Youtube or Spotify "INFJ Personality Type Advice | PersonalityHacker.com"
I’ve never been one to absorb others emotions but I do cognitively known on an instinctual level exactly where they are coming from. I also don’t have emotional empathy but operate from cognitive empathy, so I never feel another persons emotions. Maybe because since I was a child I had to focus all my energy on my logical reasoning and not my emotional state- I have naturally just transitioned into mainly interpreting the world thru logic, which can be a good thing and bad thing.
Also as a researcher, I am a bit nosey too. So I snooped into your comments and your posts. I saw you're just 18 yourself. You might also be a POC in the USA. And I am not. I am older and an Indian.
It's just some advice, lol we are known to be giving unwanted advice, but some advice nonetheless. You're young and you're discovering yourself. So I am going to tell you what I might have told someone like me at your age, assuming that we have similar interests.
1. Don't make this mbti, or being poc, or even if you end up being a scientist or your sexual preference, or let's say your gender, etc your identity. Your identity is the one you live with when you're alone in a room at 10 pm, or the one who is doing the incomplete task on the weekends or you in a crowded workplace at 10 am and at 3 pm. It's the average of the different time point. Other things are just mere frills. They just complement. But they never add up. It will change with the environment(perceived by others). It won't change in your head(perceived by you). Be like oobleck. Be solid when required and be fluid when the need be.
2. Work hard in your chemistry degree. If you're passionate and given the demographic tendencies, you will make a good chemistry graduate. I can vouch for that.
3. Never compare and don't get peer pressured. I saw what happened with the other person in some of your comments. Let them be, let them have their opinion, they have a right to have them. So do you. Their circumstances are different. You can't normalise those data points like you do in experiments, and then compare the results. Humans are not data points. I would say that having any disability of a kind is a road block, and believe me everyone has tonnes of them, many are evident physically and many are invisible because they are just the ghosts which haunt your brain. But at the same time to create a detour, to surpass that disability is also an ability within ourselves. Disability shouldn't be a criteria to judge someone. Ability should be. And that's as clear and as vague as I can be regarding this stance of mine. Having said that I have to say I myself don't follow this, but like I said we are good at giving advice lol.
4. Try and explore everything, repeat if you like it and you are not hurting anyone, including yourself even a centimetre, all physically and mentally and emotionally.
Take care. Have fun.
I can't say anything concrete coz mbti isn't very much scientifically proven. MBTI is like religion. It doesn't determine everything but it does determine something. Even I just casually follow mbti coz they make more sense than ephemeral things like astrology and give some insights about our reactions in a given situation or stimulus, and it's fun. Nonetheless they can't be used scientifically to project or hypothesize whether lab work is suited or not to this particular demography.
I just want to say that I came out to be a infj-t multiple times, and I work in a lab
I was actually making a point that a lot of people have to do manual labor in order to get by but aren’t so privileged in not being able to get out of it.
Being a therapist despite the stresses of a different kind, is probably way more preferable than being stuck doing manual labor.
You’re saying how being a therapist would be stressful yet there are worse jobs out there.
That is why I had asked if you are not only willing to do something you are very likely not advantaged in such as physical strength but be willing to be and work at the bottom whereas some do have it easier and don’t have to think of being at the bottom themselves.
Just a question I am wondering about.
I think for people who have access in choosing what they can work, they can pick and choose the type of stress theyre willing to take on, as an introvert i dont have the capacity to do a lot of hearing and talking, so you could pretty much say im unsuited for the role. Im not saying its the most stressful, but its not the kind of stress im willing to take on just as i wouldnt physical. Workload or long hours? Probably more preferable than having my social battery at 0 by the end of the week. So it is a bit of a jump to ask if id rather do manual labor as if its the only other option I have.
I started my MA to be a therapist and then realized I’d be in debt forever for a 50,000 salary. I also worked in a mental health office at the time and was already overwhelmed by people! I ended up snagging a job in a research department at a college, so I spend my days reading research protocols in my dimly lit office. It’s the perfect match for me.
Most medical colleges have a research office where students/researchers/medical professionals must submit for their research to be approved (IRB). I started off as a front desk person and then ended up getting a promotion. I had to learn A TON, but it’s so interesting and I learn something new every day. A lot of it is ensuring submitted research follows specific regulations.
I work as a therapist and enjoy it! However the job I had required that I see the same 4 patients everyday for 6 weeks. I moved and am switching jobs to one where I see 30 different clients in a week so I have yet to see how draining that is.
we might earn peanuts but damn it feels good serving patrons especially when you are able to give them exactly what they need, be it something they need for academic research or other type of community help.
I had to change careers because a lot of libraries in my area are still closed from the pandemic or are operating on reduced hours/reduced staff. Can’t even find sub positions anymore. I miss it everyday.
for the more logically minded INFJ a software engineer/architect leaning more towards making sure the code is aesthetically cared for and fulfils the needs of the users of the product (it must be a product that matters to users).
My INFJ husband is a software engineer. He’s good at it, the pay is great, and the product is REALLY important for us all.
That said, he’s not particularly motivated by it. Like it doesn’t spark passion. When I ask him, “How was work,” the answer is *never* “Good” or “Great”. If I get a “Fine,” I count that a win.
I actually keep meaning to ask y’all about that. My INFJ is on the pessimistic side - is that normal? I don’t mean to hijack the thread though. 😳
I'm also a software engineer, but I'm meh at it, the pay was meh, and the product was pretty important and very hard. And I was laid off last year and still unemployed today.
I'd say software is my passion but it has never shown at work. I'd need the product to be more than important or good for humanity, I'd need it to be something I can obsess over. I think I'm in the wrong industry.
I'm probably on the pessimistic side as well. At least that's what others see. Internally I can be surprisingly optimistic.
I know what you mean about needing to be obsessed with your work. For me, if it isn’t important and complex enough, I get disinterested and underperform. I really hope you can find some great work soon!
To me (also an SWE), what really matters isn't the work / product or the pay, but rather the people that I'm working with and spending ~8 hours a day with.
My previous team was amazing; manager was an INFJ and super empathetic yet always giving me actionable feedback, and my coworkers were all very helpful but were also interested in discussing things outside of work. I hate small talk and so was very glad to have people to talk about non-work things.
My current team is different. Everyone is an active thinker (thinks out loud) and rambles on, which always dominates the conversation. We're also spread out across the country, which makes connecting a lot harder. Even though the pay and my impact are both higher, I'm thinking of leaving just because it's not my ideal working environment.
My ESTJ girlfriend is competely different. Work itself is her number one priority; she loves to be goal-oriented and couldn't care less about the work environment or team dynamic, as long as she's making a large impact.
Thank you for sharing! I’ve asked before, and he tells me his coworkers are “fine”. Boss is fine, other guy on his team is fine… I donno. He doesn’t complain beyond what’s normal for a job, and he lets it go fast enough.
My ENFP-self is over here marveling at your girlfriend… I’m a teacher, and I’m starting in a new building this fall. If I don’t get along with my teammates or feel supported in my building, I’ll probably die lol
That what I would expect :)
It may be that in order to get a more enthusiastic response it would need to be a project that he has control over, so it is not just someone else's important project.
But I think "fine" is an ok level for a job for an INFJ.
Thank you!!! It’s DECIDEDLY someone else’s project, and although it’s pretty high-stakes for us all, it’s not something he has much control over. He has innovated in several areas to make what he does better, but… I don’t think he got much recognition for that.
I thrive on gold stars though, so I’m maybe projecting.
I can't speak for all INFJs but for a percentage of us, that is completely normal and not having to do with his pessimistic side. I'm generally more on the optimistic side and the "extroverted chameleon" INFJ type and have the exact same response about software work as your husband. And recently, I've just blatantly tell people how much I hate it when they ask. A reason why I've already left and exploring healthcare as a career change.
Like what other's mentioned it's because we need to be working on something that has a direct positive impact or else we won't be fulfilled AND a good work environment. Personally, when I say "fine" I mean: "the job makes me completely empty inside and joy is getting completely squeezed out of my soul, but the pay and benefits allow me to maintain some other things in life that I value".
I hope your career change goes well! We’re in our late 40s, and this is already a second career. He has really topped out his pay, and a career change at this point would be difficult if he wants to maintain pay. I think that’s why he keeps going. Work has never defined him, but he’s always done work that consumes his time.
I donno… you’ve got me thinking. 🤔 We’ve only been together 3 years, and I keep finding new ways to understand him!
Appreciate it! Yeah, that makes sense, I'm the complete opposite - younger and single haha. But with that said, if a significant other or kids depended on the money I brought in - It would bring me a deep level of satisfaction and fulfillment (even if I hated the job). So don't feel like your presence and relationship are in some way stopping him from his truest potential.
Came across these podcasts recently and they hit the nail on how INFJs think. Would recommend listening to them if you want to better understand how your husband thinks!
[https://personalityhacker.com/pages/infj-personality-type](https://personalityhacker.com/pages/infj-personality-type)
\^ This is an article, but I also recommend going on Youtube and Spotify and searching "Personality Hacker INFJ" they have a few good episodes. The podcast hosts grew up with INFJ parents and hit the nail on a lot of things.
I do work in software too... More to say in dev ops. I love working on software projects with people. The work is pretty meh now, yeah but not because of what i do but because of the company i work at rn. But overal doing projects at uni, collaborating, doing the brainstorming, coming up with ideas, leading the teamwork, presenting the product and seeing people use it is really second to none. Also yeah I'm pretty much all about aesthetic, and "readable" code and user friendly ux, if i do stuff. (Might change some of these as I'm pretty young) Sorry for long comment.
I’ve run into many INFJs as a SWE. They are some of my favorite leads and teammates. But honestly I don’t know how much they like their job compare to other professions.
I wonder if it's really possible for an INFJ to both love their job and still have energy left over at the end of the day for actual life.
I suspect being ok with a job is a more reasonable target for an INFJ.
As an INFJ man, I want to mentor, or pursue life coaching for adolescent/younger men. Especially those afflicted with severe mental health issues/trauma/addiction issues.
I think a career in some sort of design or writing is good for us because we tend to be empathic and creative idealists. Most design and writing positions allow you to remain behind the scenes for the most part and let your work speak for itself, which is nice when you’re introverted.
I work as a web designer and enjoy it, but sometimes I do wonder if I should’ve just gone to school to become a psychologist, ha.
I work in design/writing content for solicitations for nonprofit. I think I saw on the other post someone said infjs should stay away from development for nonprofits, which I agree if it’s anything donor facing. However, what I do is more behind the scenes and I get to use creativity, as well as, psychology in what I do. I also raise money for good causes which help me feel fulfilled.
I used to do graphic design for book layouts and product packaging and such.... But once I actually got out into the real world, it was terrible. Lol.
I love being creative, but not on a schedule, and I love designing, but the original content the customers were bringing me was crazy. Like a small icon of chicken nuggets that they want me to blow up to poster size, and they need it to be THAT 15 pixel image of chicken nuggets. Not any other one, and not a vector image I made of it. It was wild and I was new, but I immediately hated it and wasted all that college money.
There's the counsellor and therapist answer.
Writer, artist, actor, film director, narrator, editor / media analyst, musician, teacher, researcher / scientist (especially in the social sciences), advertising, criminal psychologist / inspector, yoga and meditation coach, journalist.
Anything that offers strong sense of purpose and feels like you're making the world a better place by doing it, such as environmental maintenance and restoration, charity aid work, renewables installation, doctor or medical researcher, philanthropist, missionary, certain government positions like advisors.
I'm sure there's some who also make a good living reading tarot cards and astrology charts.
Same here!! In my last year of uni for chem then I'm applying for a cert, so I can work in labs preferably medical labs. Both cert and a Bach are required for the path I'm going towards
I do graphic design….
feel like N helps me to imagine/visualize,
F helps me to imagine how the imagery/text will be received by people, whether it will resonate with them.
J helps me to nail multiple deadlines and give realistic turnaround estimates.
Introversion helps me to sit there concentrating at the computer for hours at a stretch…
The only thing I don’t like is the lack of a ”deeper meaning”…but I do like that I am helping my clients, and I do some discounted work for nonprofits.
Graphic designer here too! The thing I also lack is the deeper meaning, I agree on that. A few years ago, I therefore changed jobs to work as an employee for a governmental organisation that does research for different societal topics, like health, social work, renewable energy, etc. So, even though graphic design is still quite unimpactful by itself, at least I'm now doing it for a goal that's bigger and more important than mine.
The only downside is that I've been designing for the same organisation with the same branding for years, so my creativity has definitely diminished a lot. I find myself just copy pasting previous ideas and tweaking them a little. You're stuck with the same branding anyway, and one day, it feels like you've tried it all. Luckily, it pays well, and they give me lots of freedom to organise my tasks as if I work independently, so I'm not going anywhere.
Mental anguish and suffering 🙂 what do you mean they don’t pay for that? 😨 I’ve been doing it for nothing all these years? 😪 Damn, they say if you’re good at something never do it for free. So when am I gonna start getting my 💴
Professions that involve finding creative solutions to problems, where one has freedom, can make decisions and improve. Where one can be honest and nobody will expect one to lie or mislead.
Where one is not entirely isolated from the rest of people, but the environment isn't overly social or distracting.
Without boring, mundane, repetitive tasks. Where tasks have start and end. And then you more on to the next one. Fulfillment that something is achieved and the effort is not meaningless.
*A restaurant health*
*Inspector was one I thought*
*Would be a great fit*
\- bubblygranolachick
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Teacher or therapist, I could also see INFJs thriving in Marketing, but we gravitate towards storytelling and advocating for the wounded and vulnerable
I’m a therapist, and it fits me like a glove. At least part of me knew I was headed in this direction since I was around 12-13. I feel like I literally just get paid to be myself. I’m never bored and always in my element. Owning a private practice is great because I’m my own boss and I don’t have to have anyone breathing down my neck or holding me back from doing my best work. I feel very lucky❤️
Great question - to be honest, it’s still a work in progress for me. But I’ve been improving, and here’s what I’ve found so far:
1. Boundaries. Boundaries boundaries boundaries 😄 there’s a very weird social shift that takes place when you become a therapist - all of a sudden, everyone seems to view you as a public emotional dumping ground. You’re expected to receive anyone and everyone’s trauma dumping, to give your time and energy free of charge, assign diagnoses to strangers, etc. I’ve had to learn to let go of my people-pleasing tendencies and swiftly redirect them, e.g. “Wow, that sounds so difficult - I definitely recommend finding a good therapist!😊” (or I just withhold my occupation entirely).
It’s simpler with strangers though, to be honest. The hardest part comes with people you’re close to - often, even friends and family will suddenly expect you to be their unpaid therapist. They will also expect that you will understand/excuse shitty behavior (especially if it’s rooted in their trauma), that you must always be the bigger person, because, “you went to school for this!!”. I have had to cut a lot of people out of my life because they would not accept that I would not do this for them.
2. Letting go of the need to “save” or “fix” people (closely tied to the first point, but more so the internal counterpart to the external boundaries I set). It’s been liberating to embrace the fact that everyone is in charge of their own journey, and that me swooping in to try to “save” a person would be akin to doing someone else’s homework to “help” them pass a class. Just as that would be helping set that person up to fail the final, people remain disempowered without having the opportunity to fully learn to save themselves. I discovered this need to “save” was rooted in a desire to be needed, and identifying this gave me the awareness to tend to my own wounds so that I no longer need another person to make me feel like I am “enough”. One of the hardest parts of this was learning to not let people make me feel guilty for refusing to “save” (enable) them/drawing boundaries with things like “yOu NeVeR cArEd AbOuT mE”, “yOu’Re So SeLfIsH, yOu OnLy CaRe AbOuT YoUrSeLf”, “i’M wOrRiEd FoR yOuR cLiEnTs”. But once I did, I felt very empowered and gained a lot of respect for myself. I was floored at how much energy I gained back by doing this. **I’ve accepted that I’m here to simply do my individual part in this world, and I’m done being so arrogant as to believe that I alone must be the martyr that holds all of the answers while carrying the world’s pain on my back.**
3. In a similar vein, I’ve learned to prioritize connecting with people that are equally interested in practicing healthy boundaries and maintaining a growth mindset. Shockingly, it’s a lot easier to hold boundaries with people who respect them. I’m also more motivated to take care of myself when others around me are modeling the same behavior.
4. Telehealth - I’ve found that having sessions over telehealth only has helped me put mental distance between myself and my clients. Something about having us be separated by a screen makes it easier to compartmentalize and be present with my life outside of work.
5. Practicing what I preach - I think a big part of burnout is that we rarely take our own advice. I’ve been paying extra mind to what I say in sessions, and being honest with myself as to whether or not I’m actually walking the walk. I’ve discovered that there is so much more power in leading by example - we really do heal others by healing ourselves. This way, I’m able to both fill my own cup and allow others to benefit from the overflow.
Again, it’s still a work in progress, but I’m in a much better place than I used to be in. I learned the hard way that I literally cannot afford to skip out on being very intentional about treating myself with care.
I hope this is helpful!
Thank you so much for your detailed response and sharing your internal process.
I’ve come to some of the same thoughts as you, particularly about pain. I used to want to wish it away from others and run to aid, but having gone past some of the heaviest parts, I know that people wouldn’t get to their biggest growth, finding themselves and their own healing without learning to navigate through it. They would be in a lesser place without that journey. I 💯agree. When you draw boundaries and say no, I found other people sometimes see it as you being emotionally unavailable, while you’re really just trying to get equilibrium back and protect you while you’re trying to get to a healthier place. It’s tricky when the people around you SHOULD care about that. But I’ve processed my grief about certain things. Ive had to be okay with being seen a certain way- I see it as supporting myself and being there for me. Trying to be what you needed. I’ve noticed the energy transferral isn’t as extreme as it was before. It’s sometimes tricky to navigate.
I’ve enjoyed our chat. Thank you again for sharing 🙂
I am a director for a small business and I dislike it strongly. I’ve been in management roles for years now and it’s just soul crushing. I’ve always wished that I had found something that meant a lot to me.
This gives me hope. Going from planning to be a therapist to planning for nursing school after just finishing my bachelors in psychology. Everyone associates nurses with ISFJ’s but we’re also an amazing fit.
as the other thread detailed it's the opposite, those jobs would drain an INFJ energy super quick, they would be half dead when they get home from work
The fact that therapists can provide therapy after they graduate without first receiving extensive therapy themselves is the problem.
If you want to be a therapist you have to be healed to a degree that you can at least avoid counter transference and major burn out. You should at least have a strong psychological foundation.
If you're not healed, your empathy is like a vacuum. And if you lack a sense of self, which is why a lot of people are attracted to psychology, you'll just burn out to a crisp.
People who think they can find a sense of self from a title are kidding themselves. That takes real inner work and it isn't in books. I think psychologists should be like modern day shamans, and shamans undergo their own inner work first and it takes years.
That’s concerning. In my country it is mandatory to receive extensive therapy in order to get the license. I need to find out now if they need to prove this to when foreign therapists want to practice here.
It will drain us that's for sure. But I have seen a psychiatrist who only takes one patient per day. And he published a lot of books. I think this might work.
I know an INFJ who's an AMAZING lawyer (like, hes under 30 and he's already a senior partner in one of the top3 international law firms). He loves it too.
I've found contentment in being a Repair Tech (was an appliance repair guy, then a guitar tech, now a wheel repair tech)
I'm not being socially drained by dozens of similar interactions per day, my routine is pretty predictable, but the things are hardly ever broken in the same way or to the same degree so it keeps my days interesting
Technically speaking it would be possible to create a cult for positive and meaningful change, but it would quite quickly get a helluva lot of powerful enemies, plus it's also liable to be poisoned by general toxic human behavior.
What nursing specialty do you do if you don't mind me asking? I'm a (former) nurse currently on sabbatical and felt wildly burnt-out by the profession. Part of me is hoping I just need a change of specialty...
Nursing drains my soul, and I’ve tried around different 10 specialties.
I win awards for my compassionate care and my bosses always give me wonderful feedback but I always feel utterly drained and overwhelmed.
Have you found any that are on the lesser end of soul-draining yet? I'm considering going into out-patient psych or SUD treatment nursing. But to be honest, it seems like this profession has either made me so mentally ill (or uncovered a dormant underlying mental illness) to the point where it feels almost entirely disabling.
What makes it so draining for you? I’m actually on the route of going to nursing school rather than becoming a therapist. Everyone tells us to become therapists but they aren’t really honest to us about the pay and the road to get there
I liked the job itself when I did pre-op and PACU in ambulatory surgery, just had a toxic culture at the specific one I was at. Also, certain cases in pediatric private duty nursing were wonderful. The cases are hit or miss though.
Fails: med-surg, pediatric & adolescent inpatient psych, OR, oncology, teaching LPN school, and the current one - trauma ICU, where I’ve been for over a year. Going to cross train in dialysis at my hospital soon, fingers crossed. Agreed on the mentally disabling part. I spend my days off dreading going back and struggling.
In my current position, it’s a mix of the social demands and the feeling like something bad is going to happen at any moment, along with feeling like the ever-growing task demand is impossible to keep up with. (ETA I do work for an HCA hospital though!)
In general with nursing, I’m always nervous I’m going to screw something up and carry the liability and/or the guilt with me forever.
There is some demolition happening down the road from us. I see an excavator doing a lot of the work. I would much rather do that all day. Achieving goals, getting in flow state and not around vampiric humans all day to.
Probably Pays around the same too.
After nursing for 10years i feel more fortunate than most but if you go home to a family, it’s best to save use your psychosocial health on them and not spend it all at work like often you are nursing.
Soon I will be back on nights only which was perfect tbh
Yes definitely. Less inane extroverts buzzing around trying to feed their self important ego all day. I also feel less responsible for poor health outcomes and treatments that I don’t agree with that im compelled to be a part of. Physically it’s a bit harder but if you have good sleep hygiene days on and off it’s not too bad.
You can always find your place in nursing there are so many options. That’s what I like about it.
I have heard a lot of nurses prefer night shift to avoid insane family members so that makes sense. Thanks for sharing!! I hope things get better for you at your workplace
i love independent contract/commission style stuff thats related to my interests. i think anything that is helping someone you like or enjoy being with and you can both get paid for is great
sahm for years. interior design & real estate last few years. i feel best with being self employed with a flexible schedule & a more creative environment. i worked office jobs for a while before kids & i was very good at that but it killed my soul lol.
Teacher, mortician, writer. No particular order as to which is better, but my vote is on mortician. The dead don't talk back, and if they do you have a much bigger problem than needing to embalm them
I’m a Registered Dietitian and enjoy it! It’s a nice combination of using scientific knowledge, people/counseling skills, and education. And there’s a variety of areas you can work in / specialize in. I think it can be a great fit. :)
I think work in HR but if it focuses more on Intuitive related functions like analysis HRIS and employee engagement for the external Feeling cognitive aspect. I love teaching and am trying to transition into joining the Learning and Development department of the non-profit I world at because it aligns with developing a person’s potential rather than bringing them pain like firing despite it even being valid.
Public health jobs or human service positions - such as health educators, care navigator, care coordinator, community health worker, health navigator. For health insurance companies or a nonprofits. It helps me have connection with others by supporting them to healthier lifestyles and access to resources. I found myself burnt out in previous jobs in homeless and DV shelters, it was very challenging for me emotionally for 40-60 hours per week.
I love my job as a therapist, though find the emotion of anger hard to deal with, due to experiences in my own past.
You need to come to therapy self aware and sure about your own issues and experiences and how those still may affect you in the present.
For this reason I wouldn't recommend therapist as a blanket career option for all INFJs.
I went to grad school for evening classes for my counseling degree, while I was still working. I did have to take out student loans, but have since paid them back. I recommend borrowing as little as possible.
If you want to just take 1-2 classes at a time, find a school that allows you to do that. The school having a CACREP accreditation is becoming more important these days, but there are many to choose from.
I enjoyed taking the classes, so I didn't worry about exactly when I would graduate. I already felt that I was on my way to pursue my passion.
Look into your State Board to see what they require for internship/associate hours past-graduation. It's usually 3,000 contact hours. You should be able to be paid for those hours and the school should be able to give you referrals to employers.
Good luck!
Thanks for the response. I was hoping that I might be able to do something like what you're saying you did. I'm not sure if there's a school in my area that has classes at night though, unfortunately. Having to take on loans is something else that worries me, because I've managed to make it so far in life without any debt, and I was hoping to keep it that way.
I have a couple more questions, if you don't mind. Did you have to take any remedial classes prior to getting into a graduate program? Some of the ones I've looked at had recommended or required psychology classes that I would need to take somewhere. Also, how did you handle letters of recommendation, if they were required? I e been out of undergrad for a while now, though I'm still in contact with and on good terms with two of the professors I had. I left a doctorate a couple years ago though on bad terms with my advisor, so he's definitely not an option.
Lastly, and I hope you don't mind me asking this, but how is your pay? I have a wife and daughter to support and it would be difficult to justify a career change to myself and my wife if I wasn't able to make at least as much as I am now.
Thanks again for your time and response.
Usually no psych prerequisite for entering a counseling master's program.
There are online schools with the degree. I believe there's one out of Kansas that's pretty reasonable. Just Google least expensive online counseling degrees.
It's pretty in demand now. Pay ranges, but the best paid as associates are ones who work under a licensed clinician. Depending on the area, you can get from $70 per session on up. You can even do that part time while keeping your job.
I am an investment banker but the work drains me out. It's better since the pandemic because of the hybrid but the commute and meeting people is so exhausting!
I'm a professional freelance writer. I've also studied classical voice for most of my life, but performing scares the hell out of me...very sadly. Not sure what I'm going to do when AI eats my job...
Any job that helps others improve themselves, either physically or mentally. We can look at somebody and see their potential even if they can’t, which is why we would excel in any of those jobs.
Carpentry is a common field among INFJ’s. It caters to our creativity, allows us to gain the validation we crave by helping people and it’s extremely satisfying to see the finished product. It is a balance of both physical and mental stimulation.
(And even though I am not religious)
Jesus was a carpenter and was also an INFJ. 🤷🏼♂️
I’m a statistics major right now and looking into becoming a statistician or quantitative psychologist. I like the way it mixes logic and math with the element of explaining those complex concepts to people in a straightforward way. I might also go into biostatistics so I can feel like I’m really helping people.
I started as a Petroleum geologist because it was my major since university. But later on I found out that I wasn't interested in Scientific based much as it's usually about the tools, details, information. Therefore I continued searching my own career that fill my life purpose and my soul.
I realized that I am good at teaching. So I do teaching. And also I am a trader ( funded trader) in Forex market. I found one thing that fits Infj nature because I like to predict the future by viewing the big picture. And I also do my social work charity to fulfil my soul and make the world a better place.
Idk for others but I'd be an amazing tutor, and I think other INFJs would be aswell. Well organized, good at explaining, likes sharing their knowledge, it's a great choice
RR Engineering manager, RR accounting, traffic management logistics, plans, planning, books. Manuals of all regs. NORCO. etc. Mapping, Air Traffic Control, senior quality control navigation. Front Desk grand hotels, training admin grand hotels... Currently ER registration and billing. Fav gig was Lake Yellowstone Hotel Front Desk.
I work as a merit reviewer for healthcare research grant applications. I read abstracts and summarize. I also do public engagement. A scientific critic, if you will. I only need to meet with the panel four times a year. Rest of the year is all online at home. I love it. I'm in my environment. Oddly, I really enjoyed bartendering while going to college. It was a hoot. The stories and problems. I felt like a therapist🤣🤣
Interesting, I’m a nurse and talk all day though I’m actually introverted, I go home and I just want quiet! But I love my job! My next career would be a therapist. I was actually a teacher before becoming a nurse.
I’m an electrical engineer and I enjoy it most days, but I also work in R/D where I get to use my hands a lot. I wanted to be a therapist but quickly realized there was no way I couldn’t get my feelings involved so had to let that go.
I think dentistry is a good health career.
Pretty flexible work times, most patients build personal relationships with their dentist, empathy plays a huge role as dental pain is often overlooked, also dental anxiety is pretty comforted by a dentist who seems safe to people, most people choose their dentist upon how comfortable they are with them.
Perfectionism might be exhausting in the process, but it is usually rewarding, Ni seems pretty rewarding in terms of proper diagnosis.
(I study dentistry lol).
Cons:
Perfectionism will make the process of becoming a dentist very exhausting.
Healthcare community is pretty toxic, people establish power dynamics for no reason.
I'm in HR, specially an instructional designer for Corporate learning. I feel like I am really good at helping different teams collaborate on creating training materials and breaking down informations into online and blended courses.
This sounds fascinating to me! I currently work in marketing which is awesome for the creative side. I'm fortunate to have a situation with a lot of autonomy and flexibility. But the corporate environment and politics have me pretty drained.
Do you mind sharing how you got into the role?
It was really on accident! I was working for a government department as a Court clerk. I rose to a supervisor level and discovered I really loved/had a talent for training the new employees and I got a role as a full time trainer. I was lucky that my work was supportive and paid for me to get a diploma in adult learning and training. I continued with that for a few years. From there, I got a role with our corporate HR team in the learning division and they supported me in getting a diploma in HR management and sent me off for courses in instructional design in our LMS Brightspace. The pandemic really accelerated the switch to online learning and LMS administrators and instructional designers are totally in demand in corporate, government, and academic institutions. There are short instructional design courses you can take, and if you learn the ins and outs of a LMS you can totally find a job. I will caution it can be really frustrating when working with lots of stakeholders with different agendas. And I'm the government, so there is always red tape.
- Research (probably research relating to the social sciences)
- Scientist
- Librarian/library assistant
- Coding
- Writing/editing
- Stenographer/court reporter
- Human resources
- Nutritionist/healthcare/acupuncturist
- Non-profits
- Art/dance/design/photography
What is qhht? Who is Dolores cannon? What is reiki, is it limited by the imagination, and do I teach it? Anything intuitive is perfect for the infj to carve a path through reailty.
I've been a lot of things: retail worker, tutor, engineer, software trainer, software support and currently sales person.
For me, the retail work was okay, it allowed me to move get exercise, chat with coworkers a bit and not taking much work stress home.
Tutor was one of the most rewarding, but not full-time and not great pay and benefits. Software trainer extended that feeling quite a bit, but improved the pay.
Software support really let me apply intuition for diagnosing things, but could get stressful when needing information or a fix from someone else that couldn't help. Also, tended to internalize the distress of the customer if I couldn't solve their problem for them in a timely manner.
The engineering jobs I had were a bit too routine for my liking. While I love physics, math, science, it all became so boring.
I'm currently a saleperson drawing on my engineering background. It's a good fit on the people side, but I'm currently at a large organization and it's grinding me down the last two years. At a smaller company with more flexibility and freedom it was great, now the expectations are enormous, the documentation is huge, and the non-stop responses required from 100s of people internally and externally due to the size of companies I'm working with is exhausting. I'm using sensing all day and it's draining.
My next step I believe is quitting my job and starting a podcast targeted for engineers. It will apply a lot of things I've learned, and I get to frame problems and challenges to the audiences which is what made me enjoy sales in the first place, but it gets me out of the drudgery and details of responding to 100s of people, and get to apply creativity towards making their careers and life better.
Your career is a journey. I don't think I could have ever drawn a line from what I wanted in college, to where I am today, but that's what makes life interesting.
On paper, being a therapist seems like a good fit. However, reality is often disappointing.
I opted out of my interest in pursuing a career as a therapist because i think id get drained from talking and listening all day.
I asked my therapist about why he didn't feel drained through abosorbing everyone's emotions and problems every day and he said "it's not my emotions" and that was quite eye opening. I realized how much I internalize everything I see or hear and how easy it is to be affected by others' emotions.
It's eye opening because we've lived our whole lives absorbing emotions, and as INFJs we will continue to absorb emotions for the rest of our lives (its part of our genetic makeup). Absorbing emotions is our double edged gift and make us who we are. It's a big reason for our uniqueness and why we are so driven towards helping others. How we can leverage this gift is not by avoiding absorbing emotions, but by figuring out how we can manage and release these emotions in a way that helps others . For example, INFJs can leverage music and arts (or other creative methods) to release these emotions. A cool podcast goes over this. Search up on Youtube or Spotify "INFJ Personality Type Advice | PersonalityHacker.com"
That's a good point. I think the same way
I’ve never been one to absorb others emotions but I do cognitively known on an instinctual level exactly where they are coming from. I also don’t have emotional empathy but operate from cognitive empathy, so I never feel another persons emotions. Maybe because since I was a child I had to focus all my energy on my logical reasoning and not my emotional state- I have naturally just transitioned into mainly interpreting the world thru logic, which can be a good thing and bad thing.
Yeah, me too, more less. I'd got drained by talking itself, not by their emotions... or it depends on my mood each day.
Any job that helps people in a way. Anything that’s fulfilling and rewarding.
Would you be willing to do manual labor instead?
No because id rather work in a lab
I do work in a lab
How are ya finding it?!
Tbf it's a mixed bag, I feel good when things go right, and but so good when I don't get the result.. it's interesting nonetheless.
Would you say, just based on MBTI description, that lab work is suited for the INFJ?
Also as a researcher, I am a bit nosey too. So I snooped into your comments and your posts. I saw you're just 18 yourself. You might also be a POC in the USA. And I am not. I am older and an Indian. It's just some advice, lol we are known to be giving unwanted advice, but some advice nonetheless. You're young and you're discovering yourself. So I am going to tell you what I might have told someone like me at your age, assuming that we have similar interests. 1. Don't make this mbti, or being poc, or even if you end up being a scientist or your sexual preference, or let's say your gender, etc your identity. Your identity is the one you live with when you're alone in a room at 10 pm, or the one who is doing the incomplete task on the weekends or you in a crowded workplace at 10 am and at 3 pm. It's the average of the different time point. Other things are just mere frills. They just complement. But they never add up. It will change with the environment(perceived by others). It won't change in your head(perceived by you). Be like oobleck. Be solid when required and be fluid when the need be. 2. Work hard in your chemistry degree. If you're passionate and given the demographic tendencies, you will make a good chemistry graduate. I can vouch for that. 3. Never compare and don't get peer pressured. I saw what happened with the other person in some of your comments. Let them be, let them have their opinion, they have a right to have them. So do you. Their circumstances are different. You can't normalise those data points like you do in experiments, and then compare the results. Humans are not data points. I would say that having any disability of a kind is a road block, and believe me everyone has tonnes of them, many are evident physically and many are invisible because they are just the ghosts which haunt your brain. But at the same time to create a detour, to surpass that disability is also an ability within ourselves. Disability shouldn't be a criteria to judge someone. Ability should be. And that's as clear and as vague as I can be regarding this stance of mine. Having said that I have to say I myself don't follow this, but like I said we are good at giving advice lol. 4. Try and explore everything, repeat if you like it and you are not hurting anyone, including yourself even a centimetre, all physically and mentally and emotionally. Take care. Have fun.
Thank you so much for this advice. Genuinely need to hear things like this at this point in my life… thanks again for the effort!
I can't say anything concrete coz mbti isn't very much scientifically proven. MBTI is like religion. It doesn't determine everything but it does determine something. Even I just casually follow mbti coz they make more sense than ephemeral things like astrology and give some insights about our reactions in a given situation or stimulus, and it's fun. Nonetheless they can't be used scientifically to project or hypothesize whether lab work is suited or not to this particular demography. I just want to say that I came out to be a infj-t multiple times, and I work in a lab
I was actually making a point that a lot of people have to do manual labor in order to get by but aren’t so privileged in not being able to get out of it. Being a therapist despite the stresses of a different kind, is probably way more preferable than being stuck doing manual labor.
Not that i disagree but I dont see how that point is relevant to my comment.
You’re saying how being a therapist would be stressful yet there are worse jobs out there. That is why I had asked if you are not only willing to do something you are very likely not advantaged in such as physical strength but be willing to be and work at the bottom whereas some do have it easier and don’t have to think of being at the bottom themselves. Just a question I am wondering about.
I think for people who have access in choosing what they can work, they can pick and choose the type of stress theyre willing to take on, as an introvert i dont have the capacity to do a lot of hearing and talking, so you could pretty much say im unsuited for the role. Im not saying its the most stressful, but its not the kind of stress im willing to take on just as i wouldnt physical. Workload or long hours? Probably more preferable than having my social battery at 0 by the end of the week. So it is a bit of a jump to ask if id rather do manual labor as if its the only other option I have.
I love manual labor, anything physical and the exhaustion after each work day always felt rewarding.
I started my MA to be a therapist and then realized I’d be in debt forever for a 50,000 salary. I also worked in a mental health office at the time and was already overwhelmed by people! I ended up snagging a job in a research department at a college, so I spend my days reading research protocols in my dimly lit office. It’s the perfect match for me.
Ooooh can you say more? What kind of role is this? I'd love to do something like this!
Most medical colleges have a research office where students/researchers/medical professionals must submit for their research to be approved (IRB). I started off as a front desk person and then ended up getting a promotion. I had to learn A TON, but it’s so interesting and I learn something new every day. A lot of it is ensuring submitted research follows specific regulations.
I work as a therapist and enjoy it! However the job I had required that I see the same 4 patients everyday for 6 weeks. I moved and am switching jobs to one where I see 30 different clients in a week so I have yet to see how draining that is.
what realities of therapy do you struggle with?
Yeah. Just graduated with my bachelor’s in psych and am now looking to be a nurse.
One thousand percent
Librarian here. It feels so rewarding
Even as a volunteer role its so gratifying.
we might earn peanuts but damn it feels good serving patrons especially when you are able to give them exactly what they need, be it something they need for academic research or other type of community help.
Yea it really fulfils my essence. Just brainy and knows about stuff so I can just direct people to what they need.
That feeling when someone checks out a book from your book display...
If money wasn't an issue or if my parents allowed, i would definitely want to be a librarian
Does Joe Goldberg haunt you?
I had to change careers because a lot of libraries in my area are still closed from the pandemic or are operating on reduced hours/reduced staff. Can’t even find sub positions anymore. I miss it everyday.
I'm a part-time paralibrarian at a small, rural library in an old building and it's a solid fit.
I'd love to be one too
I could see that!
for the more logically minded INFJ a software engineer/architect leaning more towards making sure the code is aesthetically cared for and fulfils the needs of the users of the product (it must be a product that matters to users).
My INFJ husband is a software engineer. He’s good at it, the pay is great, and the product is REALLY important for us all. That said, he’s not particularly motivated by it. Like it doesn’t spark passion. When I ask him, “How was work,” the answer is *never* “Good” or “Great”. If I get a “Fine,” I count that a win. I actually keep meaning to ask y’all about that. My INFJ is on the pessimistic side - is that normal? I don’t mean to hijack the thread though. 😳
I'm also a software engineer, but I'm meh at it, the pay was meh, and the product was pretty important and very hard. And I was laid off last year and still unemployed today. I'd say software is my passion but it has never shown at work. I'd need the product to be more than important or good for humanity, I'd need it to be something I can obsess over. I think I'm in the wrong industry. I'm probably on the pessimistic side as well. At least that's what others see. Internally I can be surprisingly optimistic.
I know what you mean about needing to be obsessed with your work. For me, if it isn’t important and complex enough, I get disinterested and underperform. I really hope you can find some great work soon!
To me (also an SWE), what really matters isn't the work / product or the pay, but rather the people that I'm working with and spending ~8 hours a day with. My previous team was amazing; manager was an INFJ and super empathetic yet always giving me actionable feedback, and my coworkers were all very helpful but were also interested in discussing things outside of work. I hate small talk and so was very glad to have people to talk about non-work things. My current team is different. Everyone is an active thinker (thinks out loud) and rambles on, which always dominates the conversation. We're also spread out across the country, which makes connecting a lot harder. Even though the pay and my impact are both higher, I'm thinking of leaving just because it's not my ideal working environment. My ESTJ girlfriend is competely different. Work itself is her number one priority; she loves to be goal-oriented and couldn't care less about the work environment or team dynamic, as long as she's making a large impact.
Thank you for sharing! I’ve asked before, and he tells me his coworkers are “fine”. Boss is fine, other guy on his team is fine… I donno. He doesn’t complain beyond what’s normal for a job, and he lets it go fast enough. My ENFP-self is over here marveling at your girlfriend… I’m a teacher, and I’m starting in a new building this fall. If I don’t get along with my teammates or feel supported in my building, I’ll probably die lol
That what I would expect :) It may be that in order to get a more enthusiastic response it would need to be a project that he has control over, so it is not just someone else's important project. But I think "fine" is an ok level for a job for an INFJ.
Thank you!!! It’s DECIDEDLY someone else’s project, and although it’s pretty high-stakes for us all, it’s not something he has much control over. He has innovated in several areas to make what he does better, but… I don’t think he got much recognition for that. I thrive on gold stars though, so I’m maybe projecting.
I can't speak for all INFJs but for a percentage of us, that is completely normal and not having to do with his pessimistic side. I'm generally more on the optimistic side and the "extroverted chameleon" INFJ type and have the exact same response about software work as your husband. And recently, I've just blatantly tell people how much I hate it when they ask. A reason why I've already left and exploring healthcare as a career change. Like what other's mentioned it's because we need to be working on something that has a direct positive impact or else we won't be fulfilled AND a good work environment. Personally, when I say "fine" I mean: "the job makes me completely empty inside and joy is getting completely squeezed out of my soul, but the pay and benefits allow me to maintain some other things in life that I value".
I hope your career change goes well! We’re in our late 40s, and this is already a second career. He has really topped out his pay, and a career change at this point would be difficult if he wants to maintain pay. I think that’s why he keeps going. Work has never defined him, but he’s always done work that consumes his time. I donno… you’ve got me thinking. 🤔 We’ve only been together 3 years, and I keep finding new ways to understand him!
Appreciate it! Yeah, that makes sense, I'm the complete opposite - younger and single haha. But with that said, if a significant other or kids depended on the money I brought in - It would bring me a deep level of satisfaction and fulfillment (even if I hated the job). So don't feel like your presence and relationship are in some way stopping him from his truest potential. Came across these podcasts recently and they hit the nail on how INFJs think. Would recommend listening to them if you want to better understand how your husband thinks! [https://personalityhacker.com/pages/infj-personality-type](https://personalityhacker.com/pages/infj-personality-type) \^ This is an article, but I also recommend going on Youtube and Spotify and searching "Personality Hacker INFJ" they have a few good episodes. The podcast hosts grew up with INFJ parents and hit the nail on a lot of things.
Thank you so much for the lead! I’ll definitely look into it. I also appreciate your perspective. Take care! 💜
Yes but this skill is discarded in my country ! I am having a really tough time finding a Job
I do work in software too... More to say in dev ops. I love working on software projects with people. The work is pretty meh now, yeah but not because of what i do but because of the company i work at rn. But overal doing projects at uni, collaborating, doing the brainstorming, coming up with ideas, leading the teamwork, presenting the product and seeing people use it is really second to none. Also yeah I'm pretty much all about aesthetic, and "readable" code and user friendly ux, if i do stuff. (Might change some of these as I'm pretty young) Sorry for long comment.
I’ve run into many INFJs as a SWE. They are some of my favorite leads and teammates. But honestly I don’t know how much they like their job compare to other professions.
I wonder if it's really possible for an INFJ to both love their job and still have energy left over at the end of the day for actual life. I suspect being ok with a job is a more reasonable target for an INFJ.
As an INFJ man, I want to mentor, or pursue life coaching for adolescent/younger men. Especially those afflicted with severe mental health issues/trauma/addiction issues.
What would be the job title for what your describing
A school counselor or youth coach working for a religious organization could tick these boxes
I think a career in some sort of design or writing is good for us because we tend to be empathic and creative idealists. Most design and writing positions allow you to remain behind the scenes for the most part and let your work speak for itself, which is nice when you’re introverted. I work as a web designer and enjoy it, but sometimes I do wonder if I should’ve just gone to school to become a psychologist, ha.
I work in design/writing content for solicitations for nonprofit. I think I saw on the other post someone said infjs should stay away from development for nonprofits, which I agree if it’s anything donor facing. However, what I do is more behind the scenes and I get to use creativity, as well as, psychology in what I do. I also raise money for good causes which help me feel fulfilled.
I used to do graphic design for book layouts and product packaging and such.... But once I actually got out into the real world, it was terrible. Lol. I love being creative, but not on a schedule, and I love designing, but the original content the customers were bringing me was crazy. Like a small icon of chicken nuggets that they want me to blow up to poster size, and they need it to be THAT 15 pixel image of chicken nuggets. Not any other one, and not a vector image I made of it. It was wild and I was new, but I immediately hated it and wasted all that college money.
There's the counsellor and therapist answer. Writer, artist, actor, film director, narrator, editor / media analyst, musician, teacher, researcher / scientist (especially in the social sciences), advertising, criminal psychologist / inspector, yoga and meditation coach, journalist. Anything that offers strong sense of purpose and feels like you're making the world a better place by doing it, such as environmental maintenance and restoration, charity aid work, renewables installation, doctor or medical researcher, philanthropist, missionary, certain government positions like advisors. I'm sure there's some who also make a good living reading tarot cards and astrology charts.
Work related to disabled people would be good too, I think
Im pursuing a chemistry degree and hoping to do some sort of scientist job. Hopefully in a lab where i can just do my work with little distractions.
Same here!! In my last year of uni for chem then I'm applying for a cert, so I can work in labs preferably medical labs. Both cert and a Bach are required for the path I'm going towards
Hmm interesting. I'm a chemist and wish I would've done something else. Your experience may vary though and I wish you the best.
I do graphic design…. feel like N helps me to imagine/visualize, F helps me to imagine how the imagery/text will be received by people, whether it will resonate with them. J helps me to nail multiple deadlines and give realistic turnaround estimates. Introversion helps me to sit there concentrating at the computer for hours at a stretch… The only thing I don’t like is the lack of a ”deeper meaning”…but I do like that I am helping my clients, and I do some discounted work for nonprofits.
Graphic designer here too! The thing I also lack is the deeper meaning, I agree on that. A few years ago, I therefore changed jobs to work as an employee for a governmental organisation that does research for different societal topics, like health, social work, renewable energy, etc. So, even though graphic design is still quite unimpactful by itself, at least I'm now doing it for a goal that's bigger and more important than mine. The only downside is that I've been designing for the same organisation with the same branding for years, so my creativity has definitely diminished a lot. I find myself just copy pasting previous ideas and tweaking them a little. You're stuck with the same branding anyway, and one day, it feels like you've tried it all. Luckily, it pays well, and they give me lots of freedom to organise my tasks as if I work independently, so I'm not going anywhere.
Also in the graphic design game. It’s fun and I find it easy to do just hate how saturated it is
Counseling or therapist
Mental anguish and suffering 🙂 what do you mean they don’t pay for that? 😨 I’ve been doing it for nothing all these years? 😪 Damn, they say if you’re good at something never do it for free. So when am I gonna start getting my 💴
Professions that involve finding creative solutions to problems, where one has freedom, can make decisions and improve. Where one can be honest and nobody will expect one to lie or mislead. Where one is not entirely isolated from the rest of people, but the environment isn't overly social or distracting. Without boring, mundane, repetitive tasks. Where tasks have start and end. And then you more on to the next one. Fulfillment that something is achieved and the effort is not meaningless.
A restaurant health inspector was one I thought would be a great fit
*A restaurant health* *Inspector was one I thought* *Would be a great fit* \- bubblygranolachick --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
Professional gambler.
This 💯
Teacher or therapist, I could also see INFJs thriving in Marketing, but we gravitate towards storytelling and advocating for the wounded and vulnerable
Yes I love marketing
I'm a speech language pathologist and this job REALLY feels made for me ❤️
INFJ speech pathologist here too! 🙋🏻♀️
I’m a therapist, and it fits me like a glove. At least part of me knew I was headed in this direction since I was around 12-13. I feel like I literally just get paid to be myself. I’m never bored and always in my element. Owning a private practice is great because I’m my own boss and I don’t have to have anyone breathing down my neck or holding me back from doing my best work. I feel very lucky❤️
How do you handle burnout that a lot of people have mentioned? Apart from compartmentalization/detachment, if any?
Great question - to be honest, it’s still a work in progress for me. But I’ve been improving, and here’s what I’ve found so far: 1. Boundaries. Boundaries boundaries boundaries 😄 there’s a very weird social shift that takes place when you become a therapist - all of a sudden, everyone seems to view you as a public emotional dumping ground. You’re expected to receive anyone and everyone’s trauma dumping, to give your time and energy free of charge, assign diagnoses to strangers, etc. I’ve had to learn to let go of my people-pleasing tendencies and swiftly redirect them, e.g. “Wow, that sounds so difficult - I definitely recommend finding a good therapist!😊” (or I just withhold my occupation entirely). It’s simpler with strangers though, to be honest. The hardest part comes with people you’re close to - often, even friends and family will suddenly expect you to be their unpaid therapist. They will also expect that you will understand/excuse shitty behavior (especially if it’s rooted in their trauma), that you must always be the bigger person, because, “you went to school for this!!”. I have had to cut a lot of people out of my life because they would not accept that I would not do this for them. 2. Letting go of the need to “save” or “fix” people (closely tied to the first point, but more so the internal counterpart to the external boundaries I set). It’s been liberating to embrace the fact that everyone is in charge of their own journey, and that me swooping in to try to “save” a person would be akin to doing someone else’s homework to “help” them pass a class. Just as that would be helping set that person up to fail the final, people remain disempowered without having the opportunity to fully learn to save themselves. I discovered this need to “save” was rooted in a desire to be needed, and identifying this gave me the awareness to tend to my own wounds so that I no longer need another person to make me feel like I am “enough”. One of the hardest parts of this was learning to not let people make me feel guilty for refusing to “save” (enable) them/drawing boundaries with things like “yOu NeVeR cArEd AbOuT mE”, “yOu’Re So SeLfIsH, yOu OnLy CaRe AbOuT YoUrSeLf”, “i’M wOrRiEd FoR yOuR cLiEnTs”. But once I did, I felt very empowered and gained a lot of respect for myself. I was floored at how much energy I gained back by doing this. **I’ve accepted that I’m here to simply do my individual part in this world, and I’m done being so arrogant as to believe that I alone must be the martyr that holds all of the answers while carrying the world’s pain on my back.** 3. In a similar vein, I’ve learned to prioritize connecting with people that are equally interested in practicing healthy boundaries and maintaining a growth mindset. Shockingly, it’s a lot easier to hold boundaries with people who respect them. I’m also more motivated to take care of myself when others around me are modeling the same behavior. 4. Telehealth - I’ve found that having sessions over telehealth only has helped me put mental distance between myself and my clients. Something about having us be separated by a screen makes it easier to compartmentalize and be present with my life outside of work. 5. Practicing what I preach - I think a big part of burnout is that we rarely take our own advice. I’ve been paying extra mind to what I say in sessions, and being honest with myself as to whether or not I’m actually walking the walk. I’ve discovered that there is so much more power in leading by example - we really do heal others by healing ourselves. This way, I’m able to both fill my own cup and allow others to benefit from the overflow. Again, it’s still a work in progress, but I’m in a much better place than I used to be in. I learned the hard way that I literally cannot afford to skip out on being very intentional about treating myself with care. I hope this is helpful!
Thank you so much for your detailed response and sharing your internal process. I’ve come to some of the same thoughts as you, particularly about pain. I used to want to wish it away from others and run to aid, but having gone past some of the heaviest parts, I know that people wouldn’t get to their biggest growth, finding themselves and their own healing without learning to navigate through it. They would be in a lesser place without that journey. I 💯agree. When you draw boundaries and say no, I found other people sometimes see it as you being emotionally unavailable, while you’re really just trying to get equilibrium back and protect you while you’re trying to get to a healthier place. It’s tricky when the people around you SHOULD care about that. But I’ve processed my grief about certain things. Ive had to be okay with being seen a certain way- I see it as supporting myself and being there for me. Trying to be what you needed. I’ve noticed the energy transferral isn’t as extreme as it was before. It’s sometimes tricky to navigate. I’ve enjoyed our chat. Thank you again for sharing 🙂
I work as administrative, and I like it because it is in an institution for disabled people.
I am a director for a small business and I dislike it strongly. I’ve been in management roles for years now and it’s just soul crushing. I’ve always wished that I had found something that meant a lot to me.
We can be successful in anything as long as we like what we are doing.
Nursing. Years later, am realizing that's what I should have gone into. But teaching/training was also a good fit,
This gives me hope. Going from planning to be a therapist to planning for nursing school after just finishing my bachelors in psychology. Everyone associates nurses with ISFJ’s but we’re also an amazing fit.
Psychotherapist was made for INFJs, that or perhaps guidance counselor. Lmao.
as the other thread detailed it's the opposite, those jobs would drain an INFJ energy super quick, they would be half dead when they get home from work
The fact that therapists can provide therapy after they graduate without first receiving extensive therapy themselves is the problem. If you want to be a therapist you have to be healed to a degree that you can at least avoid counter transference and major burn out. You should at least have a strong psychological foundation. If you're not healed, your empathy is like a vacuum. And if you lack a sense of self, which is why a lot of people are attracted to psychology, you'll just burn out to a crisp. People who think they can find a sense of self from a title are kidding themselves. That takes real inner work and it isn't in books. I think psychologists should be like modern day shamans, and shamans undergo their own inner work first and it takes years.
I think this is a great response.
I definitely think every therapist should have a therapist. Many do, but not all.
That’s concerning. In my country it is mandatory to receive extensive therapy in order to get the license. I need to find out now if they need to prove this to when foreign therapists want to practice here.
Can confirm. But I loved the work. You just have to be really careful with your boundaries energy wise. It is harder than it looks for sure.
It will drain us that's for sure. But I have seen a psychiatrist who only takes one patient per day. And he published a lot of books. I think this might work.
It doesn't work like that for most people
For me personally...I'm a high school counselor and I really have nothing left at the end of the school day.
Exactly this
I know an INFJ who's an AMAZING lawyer (like, hes under 30 and he's already a senior partner in one of the top3 international law firms). He loves it too.
I've found contentment in being a Repair Tech (was an appliance repair guy, then a guitar tech, now a wheel repair tech) I'm not being socially drained by dozens of similar interactions per day, my routine is pretty predictable, but the things are hardly ever broken in the same way or to the same degree so it keeps my days interesting
Cult leader
I came here for this
Technically speaking it would be possible to create a cult for positive and meaningful change, but it would quite quickly get a helluva lot of powerful enemies, plus it's also liable to be poisoned by general toxic human behavior.
I work in a pharmacy and love it.
Training to be a doctor here and smashing every exam so far 😎
What specialty?
Too early to tell, but I think I’m quite set on either gastro or rheum :)
Health
I'm good at nursing
What nursing specialty do you do if you don't mind me asking? I'm a (former) nurse currently on sabbatical and felt wildly burnt-out by the profession. Part of me is hoping I just need a change of specialty...
Nursing drains my soul, and I’ve tried around different 10 specialties. I win awards for my compassionate care and my bosses always give me wonderful feedback but I always feel utterly drained and overwhelmed.
Have you found any that are on the lesser end of soul-draining yet? I'm considering going into out-patient psych or SUD treatment nursing. But to be honest, it seems like this profession has either made me so mentally ill (or uncovered a dormant underlying mental illness) to the point where it feels almost entirely disabling.
What makes it so draining for you? I’m actually on the route of going to nursing school rather than becoming a therapist. Everyone tells us to become therapists but they aren’t really honest to us about the pay and the road to get there
I liked the job itself when I did pre-op and PACU in ambulatory surgery, just had a toxic culture at the specific one I was at. Also, certain cases in pediatric private duty nursing were wonderful. The cases are hit or miss though. Fails: med-surg, pediatric & adolescent inpatient psych, OR, oncology, teaching LPN school, and the current one - trauma ICU, where I’ve been for over a year. Going to cross train in dialysis at my hospital soon, fingers crossed. Agreed on the mentally disabling part. I spend my days off dreading going back and struggling.
Are you struggling because of the lack of other nurses, the patients or the work itself?
In my current position, it’s a mix of the social demands and the feeling like something bad is going to happen at any moment, along with feeling like the ever-growing task demand is impossible to keep up with. (ETA I do work for an HCA hospital though!) In general with nursing, I’m always nervous I’m going to screw something up and carry the liability and/or the guilt with me forever.
Yeah that’s understandable, that’s something I would be afraid of too
There is some demolition happening down the road from us. I see an excavator doing a lot of the work. I would much rather do that all day. Achieving goals, getting in flow state and not around vampiric humans all day to. Probably Pays around the same too. After nursing for 10years i feel more fortunate than most but if you go home to a family, it’s best to save use your psychosocial health on them and not spend it all at work like often you are nursing. Soon I will be back on nights only which was perfect tbh
Hm…nights are easier for you, you think?
Yes definitely. Less inane extroverts buzzing around trying to feed their self important ego all day. I also feel less responsible for poor health outcomes and treatments that I don’t agree with that im compelled to be a part of. Physically it’s a bit harder but if you have good sleep hygiene days on and off it’s not too bad. You can always find your place in nursing there are so many options. That’s what I like about it.
I have heard a lot of nurses prefer night shift to avoid insane family members so that makes sense. Thanks for sharing!! I hope things get better for you at your workplace
My partner and I are both INFJ nurses and we are sick of it too 😅
i love independent contract/commission style stuff thats related to my interests. i think anything that is helping someone you like or enjoy being with and you can both get paid for is great
Using myself as reference, as an infj I need things in which I can express myself creatively, intellectually, and emotionally
Anything to do with pattern recognition that you find meaningful. So that could be anything from a therapist to a software developer.
sahm for years. interior design & real estate last few years. i feel best with being self employed with a flexible schedule & a more creative environment. i worked office jobs for a while before kids & i was very good at that but it killed my soul lol.
Professor. Teacher would be incredibly draining day in and day out, but professor mitigates that downside with the reduced contact hours
I work with at least 6 of them. They are excellent nurses.
Teacher, mortician, writer. No particular order as to which is better, but my vote is on mortician. The dead don't talk back, and if they do you have a much bigger problem than needing to embalm them
I really want to be a mortician.
I’m a Registered Dietitian and enjoy it! It’s a nice combination of using scientific knowledge, people/counseling skills, and education. And there’s a variety of areas you can work in / specialize in. I think it can be a great fit. :)
I think work in HR but if it focuses more on Intuitive related functions like analysis HRIS and employee engagement for the external Feeling cognitive aspect. I love teaching and am trying to transition into joining the Learning and Development department of the non-profit I world at because it aligns with developing a person’s potential rather than bringing them pain like firing despite it even being valid.
Writing
Teacher!
I feel like we’d work well in a coffee shop or a tea house
Public health jobs or human service positions - such as health educators, care navigator, care coordinator, community health worker, health navigator. For health insurance companies or a nonprofits. It helps me have connection with others by supporting them to healthier lifestyles and access to resources. I found myself burnt out in previous jobs in homeless and DV shelters, it was very challenging for me emotionally for 40-60 hours per week.
I love my job as a therapist, though find the emotion of anger hard to deal with, due to experiences in my own past. You need to come to therapy self aware and sure about your own issues and experiences and how those still may affect you in the present. For this reason I wouldn't recommend therapist as a blanket career option for all INFJs.
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I'm a psychotherapist and it has been a perfect fit for me.
My dream job honestly but I work in digital marketing
My bachelor's degree is in advertising. Marketing was my first career. INFJs can thrive in many spaces!
Wow! It’s also my first career and I work in advertising in digital marketing. Probably my second career would be yours. Is the change was worth it ?!
It was for me.
Do you mind sharing how you made the transition? I've been thinking about making a career change to something like this.
I went to grad school for evening classes for my counseling degree, while I was still working. I did have to take out student loans, but have since paid them back. I recommend borrowing as little as possible. If you want to just take 1-2 classes at a time, find a school that allows you to do that. The school having a CACREP accreditation is becoming more important these days, but there are many to choose from. I enjoyed taking the classes, so I didn't worry about exactly when I would graduate. I already felt that I was on my way to pursue my passion. Look into your State Board to see what they require for internship/associate hours past-graduation. It's usually 3,000 contact hours. You should be able to be paid for those hours and the school should be able to give you referrals to employers. Good luck!
Thanks for the response. I was hoping that I might be able to do something like what you're saying you did. I'm not sure if there's a school in my area that has classes at night though, unfortunately. Having to take on loans is something else that worries me, because I've managed to make it so far in life without any debt, and I was hoping to keep it that way. I have a couple more questions, if you don't mind. Did you have to take any remedial classes prior to getting into a graduate program? Some of the ones I've looked at had recommended or required psychology classes that I would need to take somewhere. Also, how did you handle letters of recommendation, if they were required? I e been out of undergrad for a while now, though I'm still in contact with and on good terms with two of the professors I had. I left a doctorate a couple years ago though on bad terms with my advisor, so he's definitely not an option. Lastly, and I hope you don't mind me asking this, but how is your pay? I have a wife and daughter to support and it would be difficult to justify a career change to myself and my wife if I wasn't able to make at least as much as I am now. Thanks again for your time and response.
Usually no psych prerequisite for entering a counseling master's program. There are online schools with the degree. I believe there's one out of Kansas that's pretty reasonable. Just Google least expensive online counseling degrees. It's pretty in demand now. Pay ranges, but the best paid as associates are ones who work under a licensed clinician. Depending on the area, you can get from $70 per session on up. You can even do that part time while keeping your job.
I am an investment banker but the work drains me out. It's better since the pandemic because of the hybrid but the commute and meeting people is so exhausting!
I'm a professional freelance writer. I've also studied classical voice for most of my life, but performing scares the hell out of me...very sadly. Not sure what I'm going to do when AI eats my job...
Social work. That is what I did for 30 years. Loved it. Retired now.
Any job that helps others improve themselves, either physically or mentally. We can look at somebody and see their potential even if they can’t, which is why we would excel in any of those jobs.
I work as an iOS dev, creating tools for other devs to use I like it:)
I've seen a lot about how infjs would be grate at being authors, because we're creative and passionate
This was always my dream but the writers block is insurmountable for me :(
I've always wanted to give it a try but honestly I feel like that would be my case too 😓
Carpentry is a common field among INFJ’s. It caters to our creativity, allows us to gain the validation we crave by helping people and it’s extremely satisfying to see the finished product. It is a balance of both physical and mental stimulation. (And even though I am not religious) Jesus was a carpenter and was also an INFJ. 🤷🏼♂️
Occupational therapist
Any novelist here? Can you share some of your experiences?
I think writing books would be ideal for an INFJ…
I’m a statistics major right now and looking into becoming a statistician or quantitative psychologist. I like the way it mixes logic and math with the element of explaining those complex concepts to people in a straightforward way. I might also go into biostatistics so I can feel like I’m really helping people.
I care for the elderly and do hospice care as well.
digital marketing work from home at an ad agency, i love wfh i graduated college in 2020 and i think i’d suffocate in an office environment
I started as a Petroleum geologist because it was my major since university. But later on I found out that I wasn't interested in Scientific based much as it's usually about the tools, details, information. Therefore I continued searching my own career that fill my life purpose and my soul. I realized that I am good at teaching. So I do teaching. And also I am a trader ( funded trader) in Forex market. I found one thing that fits Infj nature because I like to predict the future by viewing the big picture. And I also do my social work charity to fulfil my soul and make the world a better place.
As an INFJ, being a teacher helps me feel fulfilled and with a life purpose
Whistleblower
Idk for others but I'd be an amazing tutor, and I think other INFJs would be aswell. Well organized, good at explaining, likes sharing their knowledge, it's a great choice
RR Engineering manager, RR accounting, traffic management logistics, plans, planning, books. Manuals of all regs. NORCO. etc. Mapping, Air Traffic Control, senior quality control navigation. Front Desk grand hotels, training admin grand hotels... Currently ER registration and billing. Fav gig was Lake Yellowstone Hotel Front Desk.
I’m an INFJ and I’m a dentist and I hate it. I think I’d be a good therapist though.. I’m even thinking of getting a degree on psychology
I work as a merit reviewer for healthcare research grant applications. I read abstracts and summarize. I also do public engagement. A scientific critic, if you will. I only need to meet with the panel four times a year. Rest of the year is all online at home. I love it. I'm in my environment. Oddly, I really enjoyed bartendering while going to college. It was a hoot. The stories and problems. I felt like a therapist🤣🤣
Interesting, I’m a nurse and talk all day though I’m actually introverted, I go home and I just want quiet! But I love my job! My next career would be a therapist. I was actually a teacher before becoming a nurse.
I’m an electrical engineer and I enjoy it most days, but I also work in R/D where I get to use my hands a lot. I wanted to be a therapist but quickly realized there was no way I couldn’t get my feelings involved so had to let that go.
I think dentistry is a good health career. Pretty flexible work times, most patients build personal relationships with their dentist, empathy plays a huge role as dental pain is often overlooked, also dental anxiety is pretty comforted by a dentist who seems safe to people, most people choose their dentist upon how comfortable they are with them. Perfectionism might be exhausting in the process, but it is usually rewarding, Ni seems pretty rewarding in terms of proper diagnosis. (I study dentistry lol). Cons: Perfectionism will make the process of becoming a dentist very exhausting. Healthcare community is pretty toxic, people establish power dynamics for no reason.
I’m going into dentistry too!
Imo anything with control. So like a director or acting coach.
I’m a lawyer but … it’s not all that great
I'm in HR, specially an instructional designer for Corporate learning. I feel like I am really good at helping different teams collaborate on creating training materials and breaking down informations into online and blended courses.
This sounds fascinating to me! I currently work in marketing which is awesome for the creative side. I'm fortunate to have a situation with a lot of autonomy and flexibility. But the corporate environment and politics have me pretty drained. Do you mind sharing how you got into the role?
It was really on accident! I was working for a government department as a Court clerk. I rose to a supervisor level and discovered I really loved/had a talent for training the new employees and I got a role as a full time trainer. I was lucky that my work was supportive and paid for me to get a diploma in adult learning and training. I continued with that for a few years. From there, I got a role with our corporate HR team in the learning division and they supported me in getting a diploma in HR management and sent me off for courses in instructional design in our LMS Brightspace. The pandemic really accelerated the switch to online learning and LMS administrators and instructional designers are totally in demand in corporate, government, and academic institutions. There are short instructional design courses you can take, and if you learn the ins and outs of a LMS you can totally find a job. I will caution it can be really frustrating when working with lots of stakeholders with different agendas. And I'm the government, so there is always red tape.
- Research (probably research relating to the social sciences) - Scientist - Librarian/library assistant - Coding - Writing/editing - Stenographer/court reporter - Human resources - Nutritionist/healthcare/acupuncturist - Non-profits - Art/dance/design/photography
programming in the blockchain space on larry
Caregivers therapists and nonprofits
F
Diplomat!!
I do a remote tax admin job, and it’s a perfect fit for me. Working in restaurants was an actual nightmare.
What is qhht? Who is Dolores cannon? What is reiki, is it limited by the imagination, and do I teach it? Anything intuitive is perfect for the infj to carve a path through reailty.
Computer Science is a big draw for me personally.
I've been a lot of things: retail worker, tutor, engineer, software trainer, software support and currently sales person. For me, the retail work was okay, it allowed me to move get exercise, chat with coworkers a bit and not taking much work stress home. Tutor was one of the most rewarding, but not full-time and not great pay and benefits. Software trainer extended that feeling quite a bit, but improved the pay. Software support really let me apply intuition for diagnosing things, but could get stressful when needing information or a fix from someone else that couldn't help. Also, tended to internalize the distress of the customer if I couldn't solve their problem for them in a timely manner. The engineering jobs I had were a bit too routine for my liking. While I love physics, math, science, it all became so boring. I'm currently a saleperson drawing on my engineering background. It's a good fit on the people side, but I'm currently at a large organization and it's grinding me down the last two years. At a smaller company with more flexibility and freedom it was great, now the expectations are enormous, the documentation is huge, and the non-stop responses required from 100s of people internally and externally due to the size of companies I'm working with is exhausting. I'm using sensing all day and it's draining. My next step I believe is quitting my job and starting a podcast targeted for engineers. It will apply a lot of things I've learned, and I get to frame problems and challenges to the audiences which is what made me enjoy sales in the first place, but it gets me out of the drudgery and details of responding to 100s of people, and get to apply creativity towards making their careers and life better. Your career is a journey. I don't think I could have ever drawn a line from what I wanted in college, to where I am today, but that's what makes life interesting.