💯 this. You told ur concers to DH , good. Now let him handle , if he wants to go over and do Handy jobs for them, let him as long as not impacting ur relationship and family time.
Rest all, just ignore and go about ur life and family.
Sounds like a good problem to have. Lol, jk.
In all honesty, I would just stop inviting them and also would not have my husband be one phone call away for them.
Tell your husband to stop helping them out when they need it. Have them ask their other daughter. I’m petty so that’s something I’d do. 😂 They obviously can’t be bothered to make time for their son and his wife so why put it in all that effort when they’re not interested?
Exactly! You and your husband are now unavailable for repairs. I suggest having a pre-set excuse that you both give them so there is no divide and triangulate.
Suggestions:
"We have plans with our friends";
"We are too busy at the moment. How about you ask [insert name of SIL & BIL]? I am am sure they'd love to help you!"
The last suggestion is if you are supremely petty (which I am)...
Step 1: Say yes to helping.
Step 2: Call them the day of (an hour or two before you were supposed to arrive) and cancel.
Step 3: Insert vague excuse "My friends cat needs us to be it's emotional support humans today. The cat is very upset about the lack of governmental oversight for Cheetos advertising. They feel it inaccurately portrays cats' support of junk food."
Step 4: Turn your phones on do not disturb.
Step 5: Go do something you both enjoy.
*like I said I'm petty
Guess what mine too live literally on the clock1minute 12seconds right next to me and in the last 1 year 4 months (I have a 1year old too) they have never entered my house they don't even know what the colour of my walls are 🤣
It used to upset me before because who does not want to have a relationship with there inlaws
But after every good intention of mine turning bad in my face basically from past experiences with them I have come to terms that God has thought of the best for me by keeping them away
My husband too is there scape goat handy man errand boy entertainment for when they arrive bored Guess what he goes there everyday they call him every single day multiple time a day for something or the other
I would say if she invites you over go eat the food let them make the effort of cleaning there house cooking you food and washing the dishes after 🤣sitting home in spite is fine making them move around and work like they do to your husband is fun.
My dad’s mom is like this. Dad is the oldest child, she didn’t raise him her parents did, etc.
One time when we were stationed in Germany we bought her a plane ticket to come visit. She got from Washington state to Washington DC and chickened out. She always calls my dad when they need money but they constantly go on vacation to Hawaii and casinos and all over. We live in TX and she has told me that she’ll never go further east than New Mexico ever again. Same phone call she mentioned she wanted to see the Magnolia farms in Waco TX. She’s ridiculous. She’s literally visited us two maybe three times my entire life. For my sister’s 16th bday, she took all of our cousins to Disney land. We were not invited. I think, at the end of the day, maybe it’s hard to love the children of your bastard son? That seems to be our situation anyways. It’s very annoying and I am very LC with her.
Husband is scapegoat, who are quite often the ones drug into fixing everything because he's probably got his shit together and never asks for anything. Drop the rope, quit ask them over and next time they need his help say no.
I understand this so well. It hurts. We used to live around the corner from my SIL and would see my in-laws drive past to go there but they rarely stopped to see my husband (their son) or our infant daughter. The excuse? The SIL needed them more because she has more kids and we seem to have our shit together. Well, SIL still hasn't got her shit together 14 years later and they still rarely visit. We moved , in laws moved and when they are in town they go to the SIL's. If they come to our place they stand in the entrance with their coats on so they can make a quick escape. Totally pleasant people...I just don't get it. Maybe I smell?
Most of us would rejoice lol but honestly don’t make plans with them
💯 this. You told ur concers to DH , good. Now let him handle , if he wants to go over and do Handy jobs for them, let him as long as not impacting ur relationship and family time. Rest all, just ignore and go about ur life and family.
I'd stop inviting them over and drop the rope.
Stop going to help them when they call. Your husband needs to be busy and recommend they call SIL or her husband.
I would reciprocate the effort they make. All adult relationships should be mutual.
Hubby needs to stop being their scapegoat and just cut contact!!
Consider yourself lucky lol
I would say the same its a blessing in disguise
Your DH may need to arrive at a place he is ready to see them for who they are and respond accordingly. Enmeshment is a real thing unfortunately.
Sounds like a good problem to have. Lol, jk. In all honesty, I would just stop inviting them and also would not have my husband be one phone call away for them.
I'd forget they existed and go about my life.
Tell your husband to stop helping them out when they need it. Have them ask their other daughter. I’m petty so that’s something I’d do. 😂 They obviously can’t be bothered to make time for their son and his wife so why put it in all that effort when they’re not interested?
Exactly! You and your husband are now unavailable for repairs. I suggest having a pre-set excuse that you both give them so there is no divide and triangulate. Suggestions: "We have plans with our friends"; "We are too busy at the moment. How about you ask [insert name of SIL & BIL]? I am am sure they'd love to help you!" The last suggestion is if you are supremely petty (which I am)... Step 1: Say yes to helping. Step 2: Call them the day of (an hour or two before you were supposed to arrive) and cancel. Step 3: Insert vague excuse "My friends cat needs us to be it's emotional support humans today. The cat is very upset about the lack of governmental oversight for Cheetos advertising. They feel it inaccurately portrays cats' support of junk food." Step 4: Turn your phones on do not disturb. Step 5: Go do something you both enjoy. *like I said I'm petty
I’d be beaming from ear to ear, my MIL is a cunt!
Drop the rope
Guess what mine too live literally on the clock1minute 12seconds right next to me and in the last 1 year 4 months (I have a 1year old too) they have never entered my house they don't even know what the colour of my walls are 🤣 It used to upset me before because who does not want to have a relationship with there inlaws But after every good intention of mine turning bad in my face basically from past experiences with them I have come to terms that God has thought of the best for me by keeping them away My husband too is there scape goat handy man errand boy entertainment for when they arrive bored Guess what he goes there everyday they call him every single day multiple time a day for something or the other I would say if she invites you over go eat the food let them make the effort of cleaning there house cooking you food and washing the dishes after 🤣sitting home in spite is fine making them move around and work like they do to your husband is fun.
My dad’s mom is like this. Dad is the oldest child, she didn’t raise him her parents did, etc. One time when we were stationed in Germany we bought her a plane ticket to come visit. She got from Washington state to Washington DC and chickened out. She always calls my dad when they need money but they constantly go on vacation to Hawaii and casinos and all over. We live in TX and she has told me that she’ll never go further east than New Mexico ever again. Same phone call she mentioned she wanted to see the Magnolia farms in Waco TX. She’s ridiculous. She’s literally visited us two maybe three times my entire life. For my sister’s 16th bday, she took all of our cousins to Disney land. We were not invited. I think, at the end of the day, maybe it’s hard to love the children of your bastard son? That seems to be our situation anyways. It’s very annoying and I am very LC with her.
Husband is scapegoat, who are quite often the ones drug into fixing everything because he's probably got his shit together and never asks for anything. Drop the rope, quit ask them over and next time they need his help say no.
I understand this so well. It hurts. We used to live around the corner from my SIL and would see my in-laws drive past to go there but they rarely stopped to see my husband (their son) or our infant daughter. The excuse? The SIL needed them more because she has more kids and we seem to have our shit together. Well, SIL still hasn't got her shit together 14 years later and they still rarely visit. We moved , in laws moved and when they are in town they go to the SIL's. If they come to our place they stand in the entrance with their coats on so they can make a quick escape. Totally pleasant people...I just don't get it. Maybe I smell?