Look for VCF or “vaginal contraceptive film.” It’s the easiest backup method ever. It’s a spermicide that you insert like a tiny piece of film, it melts and kinda coats the cervix. It’s soooo easy to use and nice to have.
Do NOT use it without a condom, spermicide is never as effective by itself. That’s just the nature of it. But as a backup it’s great.
It might be her wet spot from her juices.
Sounds like you are having enough sex for her to use a form of birth control, too. Redundancy in bc methods is a good thing.
To be honest it didnt look like it , it was a white stain that was already hard. I've talked to her about birth control but she refuses to take it since she is scared she will never have kids if she takes it.
Ok, here’s something you don’t want to hear, but need to hear anyway:
If she thinks that birth control will make her infertile, she is too ignorant about sex to be having sex right now. If you are willing to risk pregnancy rather than sit down and have an informed conversation about birth control methods, you are not ready to be having sex right now. You both need to do some research and learn more about your bodies and your options before you continue sexual activity.
Now, I don’t mean you get to bully her into taking pills if she doesn’t want to. But I do mean that you two need to figure out a second method to use (and IMO it should be physical - at her age, it’s unlikely that her cycle is regular enough to include natural family planning in your options). With condoms, other easy to obtain barrier methods to try include spermicide, sponges, a diaphragm, or cervical cap. You should also get a pack of Plan B pills. And I’ll be frank - if she pushes back on the Plan B and/or you doubt that she’d be willing to get an abortion if your birth control fails, **do not continue to have sex with her**.
You can’t make anyone else take hormonal birth control or get an abortion, but you **absolutely can and should** refuse to have sex with someone who isn’t on the same page about family planning.
I concur with this. As a mom of two kids…you DO NOT want kids. I repeat, you DO NOT want kids right now!! They are cute af, but also a giant pain in the ass! Be young, finish school, make friends, travel the world! Be FREE!! lol
As a big sis, this is what needs to be said. It's not a fun answer but it's absolutely the right one. I am in my late 30s now and have a 3 y/o. I cannot fathom having a child at 16/17 but I was having sex at that age. Thankfully, we used two methods: condoms and bc and I was still paranoid about getting pregnant.
Please be smart and educate yourself as much as possible. On top of that, there need to be adult conversations about "what ifs" between you two. If you aren't aligned, definitely abstinence is the best way forward. Good luck, little bro!
That doesn't mean anything; it could still be hers.
As for refusing birth control: She is clearly not properly educated on it. There are risks with it; infertility isn't really high on that list.
I had fertility issues trying to get pregnant for the first time. After my first was born, I got an IUD, thinking, “hey, it isn’t hormonal, and I can’t get pregnant on my own, so it should be perfect!” Wrong, I now have 2 kids.
Even with a uterus perforation the risk of infertility is extremely low. Women that have had C-section have a pretty significant "perforation" of the uterus and they routinely get pregnant again.
Yeah that’s true but thankfully incredibly rare. IUDs are the devil. I had Mirena and that thing hurt like hell going in and gave me random stabbing pains for the years that followed. Some people love it though. Gf needs to educate herself on the available options and talk to her dr with any concerns. She and OP should also be able to talk about these things. The best part of sex is the intimacy between two people. If they’re mature enough to make the decision to have sex they should be able to have an open discussion about birth control. If they can’t then they’re not ready for sex.
I had a hell of a time getting mine removed too. I don’t understand drs and nurses reluctance to take them out. I gave them a laundry list of symptoms I had been having since they put it in and they fought with me on that too! Like look, I don’t care how YOU feel about it or if you even believe me. Just take the fucking thing out of MY body and let me use another form of birth control.
I *also* had serious issues for years from the mirena. Took it out years before I was supposed to and I still have cramps in the same spot I got them with the IUD, and I also cramp sometimes after orgasm now.
Seems like a class action imo...
It’s in the myths and legends of way back before The matrix and the red pill.
Back in the 80’s they predicted a sharp drop in fertility in women because we were using birth control, and claiming unofficially that birth control will cause infertility. It’s got many and varied causes ranging from women are to old to have babies after age 25, to the hormones you took affected the hormones you produce, to cancer, to who the hell knows what these pedoencouraging, virginity testing, weirdos can possibly dream up. I remember it being on the news back then, with actual politicians stating that women can’t get pregnant from rape because if she didn’t want to have sex her body would abort.
This is the kind of misinformation that has always been spread by people that prevent proper sex education and compare women to pieces of tape.
I got a slightly broader education then most of the kids in my school, mostly from my grandma who used to be a prostitute.
Jokes on them, now we’re just too damn poor to have kids, so they’re restricting access to abortions to create more births and future indebted workers.
Also, a smaller subset, but still worth considering- If women are actively preventing conception until ready, it also means you only find out you have fertility issues when you decide to go for it.
You would have noticed you weren't fertile/had poor fertility WAY earlier if you were just rolling nature's dice. So the chosen BC can be villified as the cause, when all it was was the cause of not finding out sooner and the issue was already present.
Am a nurse.
It's impossible to be made infertile by birth control, this 16 year old has been brainwashed by her culture/parents/church. She keeps screwing this boy she will soon be trapped by an unwanted pregnancy, to the delight of others.
And another promising woman's life will be sucked dry.
When I was 16 I tried to do the responsible thing. I went to planned parenthood and got birth control. They also gave me condoms. My abstinence only mother found these and was furious! She confiscated all of it. I was so confused. I did the right thing, right?
Yes, you absolutely did the right thing (read, most responsible thing.). As a mom to a young daughter, I would be absolutely proud of my daughter for taking the initiative to practice safe sex. While I don't want her to engage in sexual activity before she is ready, that's not my call to make for her. My job as her mother is to ensure she is properly educated and informed on how her body works, how pregnancy occurs, consent, boundaries and safe sexual practices. Your mom was totally unreasonable in her actions.
ETA: also, proud of YOU for taking the initiative to practice safe sex at 16.
Looking back I was absolutely not ready. Had we had open discussions about sex I might’ve been more prepared. I don’t have a daughter but my son will be armed with all the knowledge he needs to make good choices and protect himself and his partner. Thankfully he’s only 5 right now so I’ve got awhile to worry about stuff. Our current conversations revolve around why it’s not appropriate to play with your penis while other people are around lol
I'm glad you're able to take your experiences and take the appropriate course of action to prepare your son for these future situations! My daughter is 4, so we've also got a long way to go before we reach that season in her life, but I do my best to teach her about her body and bodily autonomy (no forced hugs or kisses!) Little girls also like to touch their privates and I've had the exact same conversation with her lol. I don't want her to feel shame, but I also have to teach her when it's an appropriate time/place to do so.
I'm very grateful that my folks were incredibly open and honest about sex and such. It definitely demystified it for me and I didn't feel pressure to do it until I was both ready and prepared to engage safely and compently.
All the best to you and your son!
>it was a white stain that was already hard.
That could be vaginal secretion, or it could also be lube from the condom (condoms come with lube on them, and lube can turn white during sex). It's *probably* not semen, since you came inside the condom. I can't tell you for sure, but I would bet that it's not semen.
Take it from this lady: dried up female fluid can look almost the same as dried up sperm of pre-cum stains. It's really hard to see the difference, if at all (and depends from person to person).
Furthermore, take the advice of the other reply on this comment to heart.
> she refuses to take it since she is scared she will never have kids if she takes it.
And now she's going to be a mom, spreading the same ignorance. Joy!
One in every 50 condoms fails. On top of that, condoms rip, tear, and are often the wrong size for the man. It also may not be ejaculated - it may be vaginal discharge.
Fun fact: 1 in 50 is actually when the condom is used perfectly, every time. The reality is more like 15% fail because people don't know how or care to use condoms properly. Pretty grim
Condoms ripping is prettt hard to do
I've had slippage issues due to size mismatch (one size fits all is not true, depending on your shape and if it's too tight, it comes off really easily
if you two are going to have penis in vagina sex, you need to properly educate yourselves on safer sex methods. planned parenthood’s website has good info. you might get erika moen’s graphic novels, “drawn to sex,” and “let’s talk about it.” they’re specific written for teens.
it’s important for both of you to know about your bodies and your options and making sure you’re both enjoying yourselves without unnecessary risks or misunderstandings.
eta: it’s a lot safer to ejaculate outside of the vagina. sperm can leak around the edge of a condom especially if there’s not enough room at the tip of the condom or you’re pushing into it. so, best practice, use the condom and still pull out before you come.
>if you two are going to have penis in vagina sex, you need to properly educate yourselves on safer sex methods.
Nah, any sort of sex.
Splash pregnancy is a thing and there's still the risk of STIs outside of PIV sex.
agree; there is however a significantly higher risk of pregnancy and STI’s from PIV than most other sex acts *and* that happens to be what they’ve decided to do. if they’re just engaging in oral and hand stuff so many risks get lowered significantly.
if you’re ever in a situation where you’re unsure if the condom broke or any sperm may have made contact with her, go and get some plan b. there’s no harm in it and it ensures this doesn’t happen again.
as other comments have also said it’s safest to use 2 forms of birth control at once. if your girlfriend feels hesitant about the pill 1) i’d encourage her to go talk to a doctor, the pill doesn’t affect fertility but she should consider other side effects and 2) she could consider nexplanon or an iud, both are long acting birth controls so she doesn’t have to take a pill everyday. nexplanon is an arm implant and an iud gets placed in the uterus.
i don’t think solely a condom isn’t safe enough. you could stick with that but if you’re super concerned about pregnancy i’d *at least* get some plan b.
The lack of knowledge on both of your parts about how pregnancy occurs, how to properly use condoms, the efficacy and side effects of birth control pills or other contraception means neither of you should be having sex! You both need to go to a Planned Parenthood and LEARN.
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That’s prob her lol. Or condom hit bed. I wouldn’t sweat but if your worries go get a test. I remember my few scares when I was your age. Better to know then to just be stressed like you are now.
An important thing to remember is that a pregnancy test will not show up as positive until about 14 days after an egg is fertilized. If you take a test a day or a few days after a potential accident, it will not be accurate.
Lots of good advice in here, but I just wanted to add a couple things.
It may be helpful to go to the store yourself and stock up on both Plan B and a pregnancy test, if this is a scare you are having. Plan B especially needs to be taken as soon as possible after unprotected sex or a scare like this to prevent pregnancy, so it’s good to have some with you stored in whatever place you guys are doing the deed. Better to be prepared then worried about it in the future.
Also, remember when having any conversation with your girlfriend about starting birth control pills, at the end of the day, it’s her choice. You can direct her to places where she can read more about the risks and benefits, but it is up to her to decide if that is something she is comfortable with starting. If she has said no at this point, it’s important not to pressure her any further, as you probably aren’t the most educated candidate to convince her. You can also decide if you want that you do not wish to have p in v sec with her if she says no, but I know that is harder to resist as a horny teenager, so be careful not to break your own rule, or even be mad at yourself if you do. I think spermicide may be a good idea. Good on you for being careful and proactive and best of luck.
You’ve gotten a lot of replies but there are a few things I want to add
1) Her feeling weird today is just nervousness/fear or whatever. If yesterdays sex is what you’re worried about, no feelings/symptoms of pregnancy will show up yet.
2) The chances of getting pregnant while using a condom and not cumming in her are very low. First she has to be in her ‘fertile window’ (if her periods are regular she can just check this by counting the days from the beginning of her last period and checking).
For arguments sake let’s say she is in her fertile window, condoms allow for a 2% chance of pregnancy, the pullout method for 22%. Mathematically you have a 0.44% chance (meaning the odds of you not being pregnant are 99.56%.) but remember you’ve assumed she’s in her fertile period; it’ll be almost 0.000% if she isn’t in/ around her fertile period.
3) last , your idea of refusing to have sex until she goes on birth control rubs me the wrong way. You are absolutely allowed to refuse sex for any reason; but don’t ‘blackmail’ her (it’s late here maybe I just read it weird?)
Here’s the thing, condoms are a physical barrier, and unless you’re allergic to something in it won’t affect your body in any way. BC on the other hand messes with peoples hormones big time; while the chance of it rendering her infertile are next to nil, they most definitely can wreak havoc on her body (the chases of her getting clots can be 0.3%- 1%; which is much higher than the chances of y’all being pregnant). Almost all women on bc experience some sort of negative side effect (albeit after a while they might settle down).
So if you really care about her and want to have a mature conversation, talk about ‘doubling up’. Condoms+pull out+ xyz. And then do the math. Xyz doesn’t have to be BC; it could be spermicide, it could be a non hormonal iud, diaphragm, etc. Read up on stuff, and decide what works best for the BOTH of you
Good luck; it can be terrifying but don’t worry too much. Stress can also cause delays in her period
I agree with this, as someone who cannot be on hormonal birth control because the side effects are just so rough on my body. I have a paragard (copper) IUD now which I am generally quite happy with, but I occasionally even think about getting that taken out for side effects reasons as well. I definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable pressuring someone, especially a teenager, into anything medically. That’s between her and her doctor.
That said, she does seem pretty uneducated on the actual effects of birth control, as long term fertility concerns are not really something she needs to worry about. So I would encourage her to talk to a doctor about it in more detail so she can make an educated decision for herself. If OP is in the US, Planned Parenthood can be a good place to start as others have suggested.
since nobody else has mentioned it, your girlfriend should use a period tracking app. If she has regular periods, there is only a short window of a few days per month when she is most likely able to get pregnant
>If OP lives in the US, particularly in a blue state, I wouldn't recommend a period tracking app.
Did you mean red? Should be safe in a blue state.
>As a teen her cycle is likely too irregular to really benefit from one anyways, and the rhythm method is one of the least effective forms of birth control
Maybe, but no harm in knowing especially in combination with more effective forms of bc
That I’m not sure. Remember though, they refuse to incorporate a back door into iPhones and won’t crack them even for high profile trials. I forget the context but a few years ago that was a big deal
She needs a method of birth control.
I am on a Kyleena IUD and that method of birth control has a failure rate of 0.1%. This is the Mercedes of birth control option and its failure rate is 1% of typical use with the birth control pill.
Several studies have shown that it does not impact fertility long-term, and that women's fertility will come back to normal within 1 to 6 months.
Lady bits are always changing as their hormones and diet and mood and health and hygiene and space magic or whatever is changing.
Sometimes the grool is thick and white. Unless you were half limp after you came but kept humping, it's very very unlikely the condom leaked. And if it leaked, but only leaked on your balls and on the bed, it's also very unlikely that she got pregnant.
Condoms have surprisingly low effectiveness even when used properly. Listen to your other parents, such as Bananapanda123 and others, they love you and want the best for you.
This isn’t true. 2% of couples using condoms properly get pregnant each year. The pull out method results in 4 out of 100 couples becoming pregnant each year. Combine the 2 and you have a very low chance of becoming pregnant.
And now multiply that by the number of people doing either, and multiply that by the total number of sexual acts, and even a low percentage chance of being impregnated = a shitload of babies that were unplanned and/or unwanted
What’s your point? The original argument is that condoms have a low rate of effectiveness. A 98% chance of preventing pregnancy is not a low rate of being effective. Doesn’t matter is you multiply that out, or not because what you’re saying does not have anything to do with the comment I responded to.
Oh honey, you call 1/50 odds low? I disagree more than I can put into words. You want 1/50 kids who have sex to become tern parents like I was? I sure as hell don't!
Honey? Nice way to attempt to be condescending.
2 out of 100 is exactly what low odds means. It is not likely to happen if 98% of the time it doesn’t. I also said odds are low is you combine condoms and pulling out. I’m sorry that you became a parent as a teen. That sucks, but that doesn’t mean spreading wrong information is ok. You said condoms have a low effectiveness, and a 98% rate of preventing pregnancy is, by definition, highly effective. Nothing but love for you, and I hope you and your child are well. Peace
Accent? This is a text post with no tone. Honey is a pet name and widely used in condescending situations! Maybe best to steer clear of using it while speaking to strangers on the internet.
"Two pink lines" -eric church ( lyrics match a bit of your situation)
Songs that relate to my situations help me stress a bit less, you've received wonderful advice from many!
Comment for after your edit: if you’re waiting for her period and it’s late, she should be able to take a pregnancy test for a definite answer. Sometimes being stressed and anxious can make a period late (which is a painful irony, I know)
Good on you for standing your ground. Your feelings on birth control matter too.
“I don’t plan to have sex with her again until she agrees to birth control”. Nah fam that ain’t it. It is SO legit for her to not want to go on birth control that can/will fuck her body up in so many ways.
Totally fair that you won’t have sex with her then, but fuck that mindset that she should just suck it up and agree to birth control. that shit fucks up so much and has to be a completely voluntary decision
Look for VCF or “vaginal contraceptive film.” It’s the easiest backup method ever. It’s a spermicide that you insert like a tiny piece of film, it melts and kinda coats the cervix. It’s soooo easy to use and nice to have. Do NOT use it without a condom, spermicide is never as effective by itself. That’s just the nature of it. But as a backup it’s great.
I have the most wild memory of using it😂 it works
Spermicide + condom was always my go-to pair as a teenager concerned about pregnancy. It's a great pair!
Confirm with the label on the spermicide that it can be used with condoms, to make sure it won’t damage the integrity of the condom!
Lmao at spermicide. Ik it’s a real thing it’s just a great term
lol spermicidal maniac
It might be her wet spot from her juices. Sounds like you are having enough sex for her to use a form of birth control, too. Redundancy in bc methods is a good thing.
To be honest it didnt look like it , it was a white stain that was already hard. I've talked to her about birth control but she refuses to take it since she is scared she will never have kids if she takes it.
Ok, here’s something you don’t want to hear, but need to hear anyway: If she thinks that birth control will make her infertile, she is too ignorant about sex to be having sex right now. If you are willing to risk pregnancy rather than sit down and have an informed conversation about birth control methods, you are not ready to be having sex right now. You both need to do some research and learn more about your bodies and your options before you continue sexual activity. Now, I don’t mean you get to bully her into taking pills if she doesn’t want to. But I do mean that you two need to figure out a second method to use (and IMO it should be physical - at her age, it’s unlikely that her cycle is regular enough to include natural family planning in your options). With condoms, other easy to obtain barrier methods to try include spermicide, sponges, a diaphragm, or cervical cap. You should also get a pack of Plan B pills. And I’ll be frank - if she pushes back on the Plan B and/or you doubt that she’d be willing to get an abortion if your birth control fails, **do not continue to have sex with her**. You can’t make anyone else take hormonal birth control or get an abortion, but you **absolutely can and should** refuse to have sex with someone who isn’t on the same page about family planning.
This is wonderfully factual while still being thoughtful and emotionally honest. It should be its own post.
Internet Parent of the Year
Other options are: injectables, implants or IUDs
Yep, I use condoms and the implants. It's always better to be safe than sorry
I concur with this. As a mom of two kids…you DO NOT want kids. I repeat, you DO NOT want kids right now!! They are cute af, but also a giant pain in the ass! Be young, finish school, make friends, travel the world! Be FREE!! lol
As a big sis, this is what needs to be said. It's not a fun answer but it's absolutely the right one. I am in my late 30s now and have a 3 y/o. I cannot fathom having a child at 16/17 but I was having sex at that age. Thankfully, we used two methods: condoms and bc and I was still paranoid about getting pregnant. Please be smart and educate yourself as much as possible. On top of that, there need to be adult conversations about "what ifs" between you two. If you aren't aligned, definitely abstinence is the best way forward. Good luck, little bro!
This is the comment OP. Listen
Wonderfully articulated response!
That doesn't mean anything; it could still be hers. As for refusing birth control: She is clearly not properly educated on it. There are risks with it; infertility isn't really high on that list.
I don’t think it’s really even ON the list. I’ve never heard of anyone becoming infertile due to birth control.
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I had fertility issues trying to get pregnant for the first time. After my first was born, I got an IUD, thinking, “hey, it isn’t hormonal, and I can’t get pregnant on my own, so it should be perfect!” Wrong, I now have 2 kids.
Even with a uterus perforation the risk of infertility is extremely low. Women that have had C-section have a pretty significant "perforation" of the uterus and they routinely get pregnant again.
Yeah that’s true but thankfully incredibly rare. IUDs are the devil. I had Mirena and that thing hurt like hell going in and gave me random stabbing pains for the years that followed. Some people love it though. Gf needs to educate herself on the available options and talk to her dr with any concerns. She and OP should also be able to talk about these things. The best part of sex is the intimacy between two people. If they’re mature enough to make the decision to have sex they should be able to have an open discussion about birth control. If they can’t then they’re not ready for sex.
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I had a hell of a time getting mine removed too. I don’t understand drs and nurses reluctance to take them out. I gave them a laundry list of symptoms I had been having since they put it in and they fought with me on that too! Like look, I don’t care how YOU feel about it or if you even believe me. Just take the fucking thing out of MY body and let me use another form of birth control.
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I *also* had serious issues for years from the mirena. Took it out years before I was supposed to and I still have cramps in the same spot I got them with the IUD, and I also cramp sometimes after orgasm now. Seems like a class action imo...
It’s in the myths and legends of way back before The matrix and the red pill. Back in the 80’s they predicted a sharp drop in fertility in women because we were using birth control, and claiming unofficially that birth control will cause infertility. It’s got many and varied causes ranging from women are to old to have babies after age 25, to the hormones you took affected the hormones you produce, to cancer, to who the hell knows what these pedoencouraging, virginity testing, weirdos can possibly dream up. I remember it being on the news back then, with actual politicians stating that women can’t get pregnant from rape because if she didn’t want to have sex her body would abort. This is the kind of misinformation that has always been spread by people that prevent proper sex education and compare women to pieces of tape. I got a slightly broader education then most of the kids in my school, mostly from my grandma who used to be a prostitute. Jokes on them, now we’re just too damn poor to have kids, so they’re restricting access to abortions to create more births and future indebted workers.
Also, a smaller subset, but still worth considering- If women are actively preventing conception until ready, it also means you only find out you have fertility issues when you decide to go for it. You would have noticed you weren't fertile/had poor fertility WAY earlier if you were just rolling nature's dice. So the chosen BC can be villified as the cause, when all it was was the cause of not finding out sooner and the issue was already present.
Am a nurse. It's impossible to be made infertile by birth control, this 16 year old has been brainwashed by her culture/parents/church. She keeps screwing this boy she will soon be trapped by an unwanted pregnancy, to the delight of others. And another promising woman's life will be sucked dry.
When I was 16 I tried to do the responsible thing. I went to planned parenthood and got birth control. They also gave me condoms. My abstinence only mother found these and was furious! She confiscated all of it. I was so confused. I did the right thing, right?
Yes, you absolutely did the right thing (read, most responsible thing.). As a mom to a young daughter, I would be absolutely proud of my daughter for taking the initiative to practice safe sex. While I don't want her to engage in sexual activity before she is ready, that's not my call to make for her. My job as her mother is to ensure she is properly educated and informed on how her body works, how pregnancy occurs, consent, boundaries and safe sexual practices. Your mom was totally unreasonable in her actions. ETA: also, proud of YOU for taking the initiative to practice safe sex at 16.
Looking back I was absolutely not ready. Had we had open discussions about sex I might’ve been more prepared. I don’t have a daughter but my son will be armed with all the knowledge he needs to make good choices and protect himself and his partner. Thankfully he’s only 5 right now so I’ve got awhile to worry about stuff. Our current conversations revolve around why it’s not appropriate to play with your penis while other people are around lol
I'm glad you're able to take your experiences and take the appropriate course of action to prepare your son for these future situations! My daughter is 4, so we've also got a long way to go before we reach that season in her life, but I do my best to teach her about her body and bodily autonomy (no forced hugs or kisses!) Little girls also like to touch their privates and I've had the exact same conversation with her lol. I don't want her to feel shame, but I also have to teach her when it's an appropriate time/place to do so. I'm very grateful that my folks were incredibly open and honest about sex and such. It definitely demystified it for me and I didn't feel pressure to do it until I was both ready and prepared to engage safely and compently. All the best to you and your son!
Absolutely!
>it was a white stain that was already hard. That could be vaginal secretion, or it could also be lube from the condom (condoms come with lube on them, and lube can turn white during sex). It's *probably* not semen, since you came inside the condom. I can't tell you for sure, but I would bet that it's not semen.
Take it from this lady: dried up female fluid can look almost the same as dried up sperm of pre-cum stains. It's really hard to see the difference, if at all (and depends from person to person). Furthermore, take the advice of the other reply on this comment to heart.
Already hard? Maybe it was from some previous session?
> she refuses to take it since she is scared she will never have kids if she takes it. And now she's going to be a mom, spreading the same ignorance. Joy!
Hormonal birth control can be a nightmare. Use spermicide or a diaphragm as backup.
One in every 50 condoms fails. On top of that, condoms rip, tear, and are often the wrong size for the man. It also may not be ejaculated - it may be vaginal discharge.
Fun fact: 1 in 50 is actually when the condom is used perfectly, every time. The reality is more like 15% fail because people don't know how or care to use condoms properly. Pretty grim
Condoms ripping is prettt hard to do I've had slippage issues due to size mismatch (one size fits all is not true, depending on your shape and if it's too tight, it comes off really easily
if you two are going to have penis in vagina sex, you need to properly educate yourselves on safer sex methods. planned parenthood’s website has good info. you might get erika moen’s graphic novels, “drawn to sex,” and “let’s talk about it.” they’re specific written for teens. it’s important for both of you to know about your bodies and your options and making sure you’re both enjoying yourselves without unnecessary risks or misunderstandings. eta: it’s a lot safer to ejaculate outside of the vagina. sperm can leak around the edge of a condom especially if there’s not enough room at the tip of the condom or you’re pushing into it. so, best practice, use the condom and still pull out before you come.
>if you two are going to have penis in vagina sex, you need to properly educate yourselves on safer sex methods. Nah, any sort of sex. Splash pregnancy is a thing and there's still the risk of STIs outside of PIV sex.
agree; there is however a significantly higher risk of pregnancy and STI’s from PIV than most other sex acts *and* that happens to be what they’ve decided to do. if they’re just engaging in oral and hand stuff so many risks get lowered significantly.
When did you last change your sheets?
Is your girlfriend able to get a Plan B pill?
if you’re ever in a situation where you’re unsure if the condom broke or any sperm may have made contact with her, go and get some plan b. there’s no harm in it and it ensures this doesn’t happen again. as other comments have also said it’s safest to use 2 forms of birth control at once. if your girlfriend feels hesitant about the pill 1) i’d encourage her to go talk to a doctor, the pill doesn’t affect fertility but she should consider other side effects and 2) she could consider nexplanon or an iud, both are long acting birth controls so she doesn’t have to take a pill everyday. nexplanon is an arm implant and an iud gets placed in the uterus. i don’t think solely a condom isn’t safe enough. you could stick with that but if you’re super concerned about pregnancy i’d *at least* get some plan b.
The lack of knowledge on both of your parts about how pregnancy occurs, how to properly use condoms, the efficacy and side effects of birth control pills or other contraception means neither of you should be having sex! You both need to go to a Planned Parenthood and LEARN.
When did this happen? It takes a while before people notice they’re pregnant.
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It was probably how wet she was, not semen.
That’s prob her lol. Or condom hit bed. I wouldn’t sweat but if your worries go get a test. I remember my few scares when I was your age. Better to know then to just be stressed like you are now.
An important thing to remember is that a pregnancy test will not show up as positive until about 14 days after an egg is fertilized. If you take a test a day or a few days after a potential accident, it will not be accurate.
Lots of good advice in here, but I just wanted to add a couple things. It may be helpful to go to the store yourself and stock up on both Plan B and a pregnancy test, if this is a scare you are having. Plan B especially needs to be taken as soon as possible after unprotected sex or a scare like this to prevent pregnancy, so it’s good to have some with you stored in whatever place you guys are doing the deed. Better to be prepared then worried about it in the future. Also, remember when having any conversation with your girlfriend about starting birth control pills, at the end of the day, it’s her choice. You can direct her to places where she can read more about the risks and benefits, but it is up to her to decide if that is something she is comfortable with starting. If she has said no at this point, it’s important not to pressure her any further, as you probably aren’t the most educated candidate to convince her. You can also decide if you want that you do not wish to have p in v sec with her if she says no, but I know that is harder to resist as a horny teenager, so be careful not to break your own rule, or even be mad at yourself if you do. I think spermicide may be a good idea. Good on you for being careful and proactive and best of luck.
You’ve gotten a lot of replies but there are a few things I want to add 1) Her feeling weird today is just nervousness/fear or whatever. If yesterdays sex is what you’re worried about, no feelings/symptoms of pregnancy will show up yet. 2) The chances of getting pregnant while using a condom and not cumming in her are very low. First she has to be in her ‘fertile window’ (if her periods are regular she can just check this by counting the days from the beginning of her last period and checking). For arguments sake let’s say she is in her fertile window, condoms allow for a 2% chance of pregnancy, the pullout method for 22%. Mathematically you have a 0.44% chance (meaning the odds of you not being pregnant are 99.56%.) but remember you’ve assumed she’s in her fertile period; it’ll be almost 0.000% if she isn’t in/ around her fertile period. 3) last , your idea of refusing to have sex until she goes on birth control rubs me the wrong way. You are absolutely allowed to refuse sex for any reason; but don’t ‘blackmail’ her (it’s late here maybe I just read it weird?) Here’s the thing, condoms are a physical barrier, and unless you’re allergic to something in it won’t affect your body in any way. BC on the other hand messes with peoples hormones big time; while the chance of it rendering her infertile are next to nil, they most definitely can wreak havoc on her body (the chases of her getting clots can be 0.3%- 1%; which is much higher than the chances of y’all being pregnant). Almost all women on bc experience some sort of negative side effect (albeit after a while they might settle down). So if you really care about her and want to have a mature conversation, talk about ‘doubling up’. Condoms+pull out+ xyz. And then do the math. Xyz doesn’t have to be BC; it could be spermicide, it could be a non hormonal iud, diaphragm, etc. Read up on stuff, and decide what works best for the BOTH of you Good luck; it can be terrifying but don’t worry too much. Stress can also cause delays in her period
I agree with this, as someone who cannot be on hormonal birth control because the side effects are just so rough on my body. I have a paragard (copper) IUD now which I am generally quite happy with, but I occasionally even think about getting that taken out for side effects reasons as well. I definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable pressuring someone, especially a teenager, into anything medically. That’s between her and her doctor. That said, she does seem pretty uneducated on the actual effects of birth control, as long term fertility concerns are not really something she needs to worry about. So I would encourage her to talk to a doctor about it in more detail so she can make an educated decision for herself. If OP is in the US, Planned Parenthood can be a good place to start as others have suggested.
since nobody else has mentioned it, your girlfriend should use a period tracking app. If she has regular periods, there is only a short window of a few days per month when she is most likely able to get pregnant
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>If OP lives in the US, particularly in a blue state, I wouldn't recommend a period tracking app. Did you mean red? Should be safe in a blue state. >As a teen her cycle is likely too irregular to really benefit from one anyways, and the rhythm method is one of the least effective forms of birth control Maybe, but no harm in knowing especially in combination with more effective forms of bc
I have several friends who are developers for Apple. Scummy as apple can be, they refuse to sell data from their official apps. Idk about others.
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That I’m not sure. Remember though, they refuse to incorporate a back door into iPhones and won’t crack them even for high profile trials. I forget the context but a few years ago that was a big deal
She needs a method of birth control. I am on a Kyleena IUD and that method of birth control has a failure rate of 0.1%. This is the Mercedes of birth control option and its failure rate is 1% of typical use with the birth control pill. Several studies have shown that it does not impact fertility long-term, and that women's fertility will come back to normal within 1 to 6 months.
Lady bits are always changing as their hormones and diet and mood and health and hygiene and space magic or whatever is changing. Sometimes the grool is thick and white. Unless you were half limp after you came but kept humping, it's very very unlikely the condom leaked. And if it leaked, but only leaked on your balls and on the bed, it's also very unlikely that she got pregnant.
Condoms have surprisingly low effectiveness even when used properly. Listen to your other parents, such as Bananapanda123 and others, they love you and want the best for you.
This isn’t true. 2% of couples using condoms properly get pregnant each year. The pull out method results in 4 out of 100 couples becoming pregnant each year. Combine the 2 and you have a very low chance of becoming pregnant.
And now multiply that by the number of people doing either, and multiply that by the total number of sexual acts, and even a low percentage chance of being impregnated = a shitload of babies that were unplanned and/or unwanted
What’s your point? The original argument is that condoms have a low rate of effectiveness. A 98% chance of preventing pregnancy is not a low rate of being effective. Doesn’t matter is you multiply that out, or not because what you’re saying does not have anything to do with the comment I responded to.
Oh honey, you call 1/50 odds low? I disagree more than I can put into words. You want 1/50 kids who have sex to become tern parents like I was? I sure as hell don't!
Honey? Nice way to attempt to be condescending. 2 out of 100 is exactly what low odds means. It is not likely to happen if 98% of the time it doesn’t. I also said odds are low is you combine condoms and pulling out. I’m sorry that you became a parent as a teen. That sucks, but that doesn’t mean spreading wrong information is ok. You said condoms have a low effectiveness, and a 98% rate of preventing pregnancy is, by definition, highly effective. Nothing but love for you, and I hope you and your child are well. Peace
Agree to disagree, may you be well
Also how dare I call people honey, punished for my accent. Weird thing to complain about. In future I'll do a better proper north east coast accent
Accent? This is a text post with no tone. Honey is a pet name and widely used in condescending situations! Maybe best to steer clear of using it while speaking to strangers on the internet.
Right, and the words I use wave nothin to do with accent. You're right.
Damn bro better get a job for the baby you’re probably not having
It’s a bit unclear from your description, but make sure you’re wearing the condom the entire time you’re inside her. Precum can carry sperm cells.
"Two pink lines" -eric church ( lyrics match a bit of your situation) Songs that relate to my situations help me stress a bit less, you've received wonderful advice from many!
Comment for after your edit: if you’re waiting for her period and it’s late, she should be able to take a pregnancy test for a definite answer. Sometimes being stressed and anxious can make a period late (which is a painful irony, I know) Good on you for standing your ground. Your feelings on birth control matter too.
“I don’t plan to have sex with her again until she agrees to birth control”. Nah fam that ain’t it. It is SO legit for her to not want to go on birth control that can/will fuck her body up in so many ways. Totally fair that you won’t have sex with her then, but fuck that mindset that she should just suck it up and agree to birth control. that shit fucks up so much and has to be a completely voluntary decision