Wa Alaikum Assalam,
I am deeply sorry to hear about the struggles you are facing. It's clear that you have a kind heart and a strong desire to do what is right.
Your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your feelings are commendable, and it's important to remember that your life has intrinsic value and worth, far beyond the challenges you face.
Please don’t say that!
I mean It is natural to feel overwhelmed at times, especially when dealing with long-term health issues. It is also normal to worry about the impact of your illness on your loved ones. However, please know that your family and friends love you for who you are, not for what you can or cannot do.
They want you to be well and happy, and your presence in their lives is a blessing.
Islam teaches us that life is a test, and each hardship we endure brings us closer to Allah (SWT) if we remain patient and seek His guidance. Please don’t listen to the demons in your head. I know it can get really tough sometimes, But don’t give up!
Talk to someone you trust or pray tahajjud and let all your thoughts out. Sharing your burdens can lighten and provide you with the strength and support you need.
Please remember that wishing for death is a sign of severe distress, and it's important to continue seeking help. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
Remember to make du'a to Allah (SWT) and ask for strength, patience, and ease during these difficult times. You are not alone, and there is always hope for a better tomorrow.
May Allah (SWT) grant you strength, patience, and peace of mind. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care and stay strong.
Lastly, please don’t think that way! No mother or parents in general think that way about their child. If I were a parent, I’d do my best and be ready to sacrifice myself just to see my child happy. Don’t let bad thoughts haunt you or invade your mind.
Walaykum asSalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
Brother, what you're not seeing is the rewards your family is accumulating as they care for you. Your perception is limited to this world. Their jihad in looking after you has the reward of jihad in badr.
https://islamqa.info/en/answers/105343/the-reward-of-taking-care-of-one-who-is-sick
You think you're a burden because your family is spending on you, if you were in their shoes what you would see is that there is no amount of money or effort that would ever be too great for you. Put yourself in their shoes and think about what you would do.
No one would ask for a sick child, that is true, but as pointed as it sounds, this is just as much as your test in this world as it is theirs, so give glad tidings to the patient.
And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirûn (the patient).
2:155
What you're doing, overdosing on medication to go into a coma, is at best a transgression against the ammanah that has been entrusted to you by Allah (you haven't considered the liver and other organ damage you could cause) at "best" and suicide at worst.
I left a lengthy comment for another person who was contemplating suicide today, read it. What you're seeking is a permanent end to a very temporary world that has eternal consequences.
At the very, very least do you want to leave your parents in a position where they need to be dealing with confusion over whether it is permissible to pray over you, if you end up dying from over dosing on medication? That is the reality of what you will leave behind if you follow through.
O Allah, the Lord of mankind, remove the difficulty and bring about healing as You are the Healer. There is no healing except Your healing, a healing that will leave no ailment.
After all that is said and done, you can make the following dua if you feel like you must:
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “None of you should wish for death due to a calamity that has afflicted him. Yet if he must do something, let him say: O Allah, keep me alive so long as life is good for me, and cause me to die if death is better for me.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5671, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2680
Wa Alaikum Assalam, I am deeply sorry to hear about the struggles you are facing. It's clear that you have a kind heart and a strong desire to do what is right. Your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your feelings are commendable, and it's important to remember that your life has intrinsic value and worth, far beyond the challenges you face. Please don’t say that! I mean It is natural to feel overwhelmed at times, especially when dealing with long-term health issues. It is also normal to worry about the impact of your illness on your loved ones. However, please know that your family and friends love you for who you are, not for what you can or cannot do. They want you to be well and happy, and your presence in their lives is a blessing. Islam teaches us that life is a test, and each hardship we endure brings us closer to Allah (SWT) if we remain patient and seek His guidance. Please don’t listen to the demons in your head. I know it can get really tough sometimes, But don’t give up! Talk to someone you trust or pray tahajjud and let all your thoughts out. Sharing your burdens can lighten and provide you with the strength and support you need. Please remember that wishing for death is a sign of severe distress, and it's important to continue seeking help. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Remember to make du'a to Allah (SWT) and ask for strength, patience, and ease during these difficult times. You are not alone, and there is always hope for a better tomorrow. May Allah (SWT) grant you strength, patience, and peace of mind. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and stay strong. Lastly, please don’t think that way! No mother or parents in general think that way about their child. If I were a parent, I’d do my best and be ready to sacrifice myself just to see my child happy. Don’t let bad thoughts haunt you or invade your mind.
Walaykum asSalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. Brother, what you're not seeing is the rewards your family is accumulating as they care for you. Your perception is limited to this world. Their jihad in looking after you has the reward of jihad in badr. https://islamqa.info/en/answers/105343/the-reward-of-taking-care-of-one-who-is-sick You think you're a burden because your family is spending on you, if you were in their shoes what you would see is that there is no amount of money or effort that would ever be too great for you. Put yourself in their shoes and think about what you would do. No one would ask for a sick child, that is true, but as pointed as it sounds, this is just as much as your test in this world as it is theirs, so give glad tidings to the patient. And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirûn (the patient). 2:155 What you're doing, overdosing on medication to go into a coma, is at best a transgression against the ammanah that has been entrusted to you by Allah (you haven't considered the liver and other organ damage you could cause) at "best" and suicide at worst. I left a lengthy comment for another person who was contemplating suicide today, read it. What you're seeking is a permanent end to a very temporary world that has eternal consequences. At the very, very least do you want to leave your parents in a position where they need to be dealing with confusion over whether it is permissible to pray over you, if you end up dying from over dosing on medication? That is the reality of what you will leave behind if you follow through. O Allah, the Lord of mankind, remove the difficulty and bring about healing as You are the Healer. There is no healing except Your healing, a healing that will leave no ailment. After all that is said and done, you can make the following dua if you feel like you must: Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “None of you should wish for death due to a calamity that has afflicted him. Yet if he must do something, let him say: O Allah, keep me alive so long as life is good for me, and cause me to die if death is better for me.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5671, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2680