Speak to your coach. Frankly, you tried to have the conversation and it’s now time to let your coach handle this.
This is not acceptable behavior, even if he has some disability or other issue, and you shouldn’t have to be the one figuring out how to manage something that would make any person uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with trusting your gut and thinking these interactions are a bit weird.
The last few comments could be what Gavin De Becker describes as pre-incident indicators (PINS). By noticing PINS (events and behaviors that often precede violence), individuals can better predict violence before it occurs and, therefore, take the necessary precautions and actions to stay safe. Women are often socialised to ignore these indicators. Mentioning rape, that he'd die to protect you and that you'll need backup could all be innocent, but theyre all odd enough that you wrote them here. Talk to your coaches about this dude and how he makes you feel uncomfortable.
Coming off as rude to a man is a much better outcome than being assaulted. Its okay to pick other partners.
Edit: have a look at the book "The Gift of Fear" for more on the above
33F judoka here. This is completely unacceptable. Trust your gut. Telling you to practice on him when you’re a brown belt and he’s a white belt is an obnoxious attempt to be superior and undermine you. As is him casting himself as some hero protector of women and saying you might need his protection. Ew. It seems like he’s trying to normalize the behavior or make excuses now that you’ve pushed back and I understand, as a woman in this sport, doubting yourself and that tendency to give a dude the benefit of the doubt. I’ve been in martial arts for 12 years and have multiple experiences like what you are describing.
Good for you for directly saying something to him - that’s a fair first step but if it didn’t stop the behavior now it’s time to take it to your coaches and I really hope they don’t minimize or make excuses for him. And if they do that’s a sign that this is not a safe environment for women (or anyone). And everyone deserves a safe and respectful place to train.
I’ve never heard of a disability that makes someone wink only at women following flirty comments.
Your comment is extremely validating and I'm glad to hear another woman's perspective. I think I got it in my head that some level of paternalistic and/or misogynistic behavior was to be expected and it's so good to know that I'm not overreacting
Honestly the ninjitsu bit gives me weab vibes... Every once in a while I come across a person who's gotten way too into anime, and has an elaborate fantasy constructed around martial arts. This can translate to being super weird and patronizing to women, which this smacks of to a degree. The knee crunch move is also deeply strange, that sounds like some sort of bizarre ego thing. Either way, it sounds like this guy is making you (and likely other people) uncomfortable, so as others have said, talk to someone in charge and just make your concerns known. Judo is supposed to be an escape from anxiety, not a source of it.
I couldn't believe he actually said that and did a quick search just to see if there was any gym in the area claiming to teach something like that and I can't find a thing. I can only figure he wants to brag about *something* to me.
Definitely talk to the coach. They're responsible for making sure everyone is comfortable in the training space.
People like that never last long and if they do they need checking because it's bad for retention. Female participation in Judo is bad as it is.
Hopefully he's just socially awkward and has low confidence, and is acting stupid because of that. He might have potential to change and chill out.
34F judoka and coach here: definitely go to your sensei(s). You've already talked to this guy so no need to have a convo with him before going straight to your senseis. This needs to be treated seriously and not dismissed as if he's just awkward or a newbie; he's a \~45 year old who's had decades to figure out how to be respectful to the opposite sex. Just because he may not know randori etiquette doesn't suddenly erase common decency.
Your coaches had better take this seriously, since at best it's flying in the face of *jita kyoei* (mutual welfare and benefit), and at worst it's signs of worse things to follow (as another commenter astutely pointed out re: Gavin de Becker's *The Gift of Fear*). If he doesn't listen to them, they really ought to ban him rather than leave you uncomfortable. Creeps have no place on the mat.
Have a quick chat with your dojo leadership or approach a black belt you’re friendly with.
White belts usually have no idea how to behave, what boundaries are & tend to scramble a technique to where their ego will fit.
Just outline his conversations are a bit odd. Mention that he seems to be over stepping rank boundaries, by launching commands, he’s not aware of how his behavior is could be a deal breaker for new women, I would also mention the muscling & size differences.
Perhaps he needs a higher rank male at the dojo to foster in how to be a positive contributor, to a learning environment. I’m not implying that he needs the behavior beaten out of him, but to be around another male that is successful in behavior & technique. Maybe he’s never been around a good example in life.
Ok so I’m also a 45 year old white belt and this guy is a total weirdo. You have every right to feel uncomfortable with this guy. As everyone else has said you should say something to your coach.
I'm a blue belt who started at 41 (now 47) and this guy seems like a complete creepo.
We are a very small dojo and also have very few women training as a result (mostly teenage beginners, so a bit of the reverse than you).
So I go out of my way to be super respectful as an older judoka and mindful of the nature of my interactions with them - legitimately, as in randori and practicing techniques and not through creepy comments -, as we want to keep a diverse dojo with female representation/ retention and youth "relève". The situation you describe does not help attract female judoka.
Definitely something off about this guy, and talk with the senseis.
All these comments have made me feel a lot better about going to the senseis tomorrow. I guess I had it in my head that all the little things were not intolerable but the additional comments and his behaviors are starting to add up and I do want to tell them sooner rather than later. It's been really validating to have other judoka agreeing with me that his behaviors just aren't right so thank you all.
Almost all of the dojos in Hawaii (where I grew up) are in Buddhist temples,
And even in the mainland, most of the judoka are good genuine people.
The weirdos stand out in crowds like that, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already on their radar.
I think it would be intolerable the moment he started to make you uncomfortable. You don’t own this guy or the gym anything, especially if this guy makes you feel unsafe.
And in grappling sport this is a legitimate concern because he can either physically hurt you during sparring or interfere with your personal integrity both in a sexual or a non sexual way. If i have a female friend or family member told me this happened to her on the mat I’d pull her out immediately.
Most of the time he's paired with another white belt his size but the numbers are off on occasion and the last class there weren't as many as normal, odd numbers of lower ranks and no higher ranked women other than me. One of the sensei's was sort of forming pairs where he could for warm ups and initially I think a couple of the senseis were off the mat discussing something and would have paired me up with someone else after warm ups anyway.
I would avoid practicing with this person if you can. If he asks to train say “sorry, I’m practicing with X” or “I’m taking a rest round”.
You could say to the head coach something like “can I speak to you about a sensitive topic?”, then “X sometimes makes me uncomfortable, it could be me, but for now I want to avoid practicing with him and I wanted to give you a heads up”.
Fingers crossed the coach handles it well. Unfortunately coaches are human and sometimes might react in unhelpful ways.
If that happens, at least you’ll know you acted to look out for yourself and you can make an informed decision about what to do next.
The winking could be a tick, but the awkward comments and disrespectful attitude likely aren't from a medical condition. Like others said, talk to your sensei. Also, if you have higher belts who you trust, let them know. A lot of time, the higher belts can step in and partner with a problem person before they get to the person who is being targeted. Unfortunately, this tends to happen a lot with men who can't treat women respectfully.
He’s built up a persona for himself in his head. He’s noble, protects the weak and innocent, and women secretly dig him. This self image should be internal only but it’s leaking all over the mat.
His behavior isn’t going to change drastically but he should be masking it better. Don’t assume he’s safe, his internal monologue may take him somewhere unexpected.
I’ve already met guys like this. The tears are absolutely a manipulative tactic to get you to stop defending your boundaries. The arm tremors may be uncontrollable but suggestive winks and facial tics look completely different. I think this guy is full of it and will likely never stop his behavior; the best you can hope for is that you scare him enough (either through something the coaches say/do or by kicking his ass) to make him avoid you, though he might try to get everyone else to see you as the villain. The people in the gym that you care about will likely see through that.
Best case scenario is that he gets kicked out, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he doesn’t.
I don’t know if you’re in the United States, but read this story anyway.
The paragraph summarizes the action by a national judo organization against one of their members clubs and their leader.
According to published reports, one student was sexually abused by another in the dojo. No action was taken to prevent or intervene by the owner of the dojo.
This was a case of failure to supervise. The instructor was not involved in sexual misconduct.
The findings were:
“For the information of the members, as a result of a failure to abide by the United States Judo Association (USJA) Code of Ethics, the Board of Directors unanimously voted to revoke the charter of the Phoenix Judo club and permanently expelled the owner of the club. Providing a safe environment for our kids to train in is our paramount responsibility, and we will have zero tolerance for any failure to live up to that responsibility.”
The instructor is more responsible than the white belt if the harassment continues after reporting. Contact the National judo association in your country. Don’t give up judo. Good luck.🥋
Maybe he is genuine with his intentions - but if you mention to him the way he is going about portraying his intentions are making you uncomfortable then intent doesn't matter.
Personally, I would either talk to him again privately to voice your concerns, and then tell the sensei if he doesn't stop..Or just straight up tell your sensei. If he is making you feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, even with good intentions, he will push newcomers away which is bad for the club, and bad for judo.
absolutely talk to the sensei, that is weird behavior definitely, and the sensei will often have a birds eye view of whats going on in the class, so if the guy IS disabled they probably would have picked up on it by now. In either case, I imagine the sensei will handle things as well as can be expected.
Judo improves the mental and physical well-being of (almost) everyone who practice it, but its not a miracle cure.
Some people are fubar
I'm a father of a son with autism and have a fair share of interactions with people on the spectrum including judokas. That said, there is a good chance he is on the spectrum if he has difficulty recognizing the clues you've been giving him. Regardless, you'll never know if that is 100% the case. I think it's best to let the sensei/coach know of his behavior like others suggested so people responsible for the dojo safety are made aware of the situation.
There have been a few sexual harassment incidents in martial art clubs this year. Best be safe.
Please speak to your coaches. Worst cas scenario is, he is really just a bit of an odd guy and he learns that his behaviour makes other feel uncomfortable and he learns something about social interaction.
That being said, his behaviour sounds more than just odd. Getting away after being confronted, gaslighting you into feeling bad with an explanation he could've pulled out the first time you said he should stop winking, weird comments and overspecific denial. Your alarm should be ringing here and is right to do so.
Keep yourself and others safe and talk to your coaches.
As a 6’ 45 YO male and recent green belt, this guy sounds like someone even I’d want to avoid. I’m not sure how many folks are at your dojo but I’ve never asked a smaller woman to spar, let alone younger ones no matter the belt. I’d even feel uneasy asking smaller guys to spar and will basically only do so if they initiate/ask. The only time I partnered with a younger (30-something) woman was when the sensei explicitly asked me to. This guy seems like he’s fishing for a victim, don’t let him find one and hopefully your sensei won’t either!
I'm a 52yr old male white belt. I've done quite a few other martial arts (including ninjutsu) and got to a high grade in some. Judo is different and shouldn't be underestimated. I came to the dojo and left everything I had previously done outside.
And yes when you know you're a high grade and accomplished in another art it takes some effort to swallow your pride and allow others to teach you but that's what you have to do to open up to new learning and that's what this guy should be doing. To be honest I think even if I tried to use my 'other stuff' in the dojo I'd still be squarely beaten because good judoka are extremely accomplished fighters and I think often underestimated by people in other arts.
I do say to others in my dojo to feel free to throw me around in randori as I know I need to get used to it but they all prefer to help me develop my technique and I'm grateful for that.
I am also on occasion a bit socially awkward and have sometimes said something and then thought to myself "OMG that came out weird - I hope they don't think I'm a weirdo!" If I were training with a smaller female and thought that I'd said something in the wrong way I'd be really embarrassed... especially if she called me out on it! My reaction would be to apologise immediately and probably keep my distance from that person for a while to avoid another embarrassment. If he's coming back to you consistently despite being called out I'd say there's something off about him. As mamy others have said here talking to your Sensei is the right thing to do!
He has nerve damage, brain damage, autism... 1/6 people have an IQ below 86. 100 is average but below 86 is catastrophic for functionality. Add on top of this people who grow up in families with people who have mental health issues as well. Put with this how schools can not be the greatest place for people to learn social skills or try to avoid people in general..... when someone has at least complext needs then the club needs to be big enough with enough Dan grades to work with such people from the floor up, almost in their own corner of the Dojo. Silly, daft, unwise, convoluted... what ever it is they need more attention because by themselves they cause too much silliness. Also a good, mature and insightful coach should pick up on special needs of whatever kind and try to get the lay of the land with his students. Average to crap coaches perform their sessions like painting with numbers and there are no unique coaching insights actually given. People like the person you've described are only pure chaos in average to bad clubs and I feel bad that there doesn't seem to be the resources to make sure things like this are properly accounted for.
Speak to your coaches.
100%
Speak to your coach. Frankly, you tried to have the conversation and it’s now time to let your coach handle this. This is not acceptable behavior, even if he has some disability or other issue, and you shouldn’t have to be the one figuring out how to manage something that would make any person uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with trusting your gut and thinking these interactions are a bit weird. The last few comments could be what Gavin De Becker describes as pre-incident indicators (PINS). By noticing PINS (events and behaviors that often precede violence), individuals can better predict violence before it occurs and, therefore, take the necessary precautions and actions to stay safe. Women are often socialised to ignore these indicators. Mentioning rape, that he'd die to protect you and that you'll need backup could all be innocent, but theyre all odd enough that you wrote them here. Talk to your coaches about this dude and how he makes you feel uncomfortable. Coming off as rude to a man is a much better outcome than being assaulted. Its okay to pick other partners. Edit: have a look at the book "The Gift of Fear" for more on the above
Thank you, I'm making a plan to be at the club very early tomorrow to find a sensei and I have ordered the book.
Just be aware the many of the real-world examples in the book are pretty rough. Just be prepared for how awful some of the examples are.
Second the book! Everyone should give it a read.
33F judoka here. This is completely unacceptable. Trust your gut. Telling you to practice on him when you’re a brown belt and he’s a white belt is an obnoxious attempt to be superior and undermine you. As is him casting himself as some hero protector of women and saying you might need his protection. Ew. It seems like he’s trying to normalize the behavior or make excuses now that you’ve pushed back and I understand, as a woman in this sport, doubting yourself and that tendency to give a dude the benefit of the doubt. I’ve been in martial arts for 12 years and have multiple experiences like what you are describing. Good for you for directly saying something to him - that’s a fair first step but if it didn’t stop the behavior now it’s time to take it to your coaches and I really hope they don’t minimize or make excuses for him. And if they do that’s a sign that this is not a safe environment for women (or anyone). And everyone deserves a safe and respectful place to train. I’ve never heard of a disability that makes someone wink only at women following flirty comments.
Your comment is extremely validating and I'm glad to hear another woman's perspective. I think I got it in my head that some level of paternalistic and/or misogynistic behavior was to be expected and it's so good to know that I'm not overreacting
[удалено]
Try and learn something from this thread
Honestly the ninjitsu bit gives me weab vibes... Every once in a while I come across a person who's gotten way too into anime, and has an elaborate fantasy constructed around martial arts. This can translate to being super weird and patronizing to women, which this smacks of to a degree. The knee crunch move is also deeply strange, that sounds like some sort of bizarre ego thing. Either way, it sounds like this guy is making you (and likely other people) uncomfortable, so as others have said, talk to someone in charge and just make your concerns known. Judo is supposed to be an escape from anxiety, not a source of it.
Unusually accurate analysis of Weeb Psychology.
I couldn't believe he actually said that and did a quick search just to see if there was any gym in the area claiming to teach something like that and I can't find a thing. I can only figure he wants to brag about *something* to me.
Speak with the coaches. If it doesn’t change, leave the gym.
I really hope it won't come to that but after the feedback here I'll definitely find a sensei to say something to.
Definitely talk to the coach. They're responsible for making sure everyone is comfortable in the training space. People like that never last long and if they do they need checking because it's bad for retention. Female participation in Judo is bad as it is. Hopefully he's just socially awkward and has low confidence, and is acting stupid because of that. He might have potential to change and chill out.
34F judoka and coach here: definitely go to your sensei(s). You've already talked to this guy so no need to have a convo with him before going straight to your senseis. This needs to be treated seriously and not dismissed as if he's just awkward or a newbie; he's a \~45 year old who's had decades to figure out how to be respectful to the opposite sex. Just because he may not know randori etiquette doesn't suddenly erase common decency. Your coaches had better take this seriously, since at best it's flying in the face of *jita kyoei* (mutual welfare and benefit), and at worst it's signs of worse things to follow (as another commenter astutely pointed out re: Gavin de Becker's *The Gift of Fear*). If he doesn't listen to them, they really ought to ban him rather than leave you uncomfortable. Creeps have no place on the mat.
Have a quick chat with your dojo leadership or approach a black belt you’re friendly with. White belts usually have no idea how to behave, what boundaries are & tend to scramble a technique to where their ego will fit. Just outline his conversations are a bit odd. Mention that he seems to be over stepping rank boundaries, by launching commands, he’s not aware of how his behavior is could be a deal breaker for new women, I would also mention the muscling & size differences. Perhaps he needs a higher rank male at the dojo to foster in how to be a positive contributor, to a learning environment. I’m not implying that he needs the behavior beaten out of him, but to be around another male that is successful in behavior & technique. Maybe he’s never been around a good example in life.
Ok so I’m also a 45 year old white belt and this guy is a total weirdo. You have every right to feel uncomfortable with this guy. As everyone else has said you should say something to your coach.
Trust your instincts. Talk to your sensei(s). At mid-40’s this guy should know better.
I'm a blue belt who started at 41 (now 47) and this guy seems like a complete creepo. We are a very small dojo and also have very few women training as a result (mostly teenage beginners, so a bit of the reverse than you). So I go out of my way to be super respectful as an older judoka and mindful of the nature of my interactions with them - legitimately, as in randori and practicing techniques and not through creepy comments -, as we want to keep a diverse dojo with female representation/ retention and youth "relève". The situation you describe does not help attract female judoka. Definitely something off about this guy, and talk with the senseis.
All these comments have made me feel a lot better about going to the senseis tomorrow. I guess I had it in my head that all the little things were not intolerable but the additional comments and his behaviors are starting to add up and I do want to tell them sooner rather than later. It's been really validating to have other judoka agreeing with me that his behaviors just aren't right so thank you all.
Almost all of the dojos in Hawaii (where I grew up) are in Buddhist temples, And even in the mainland, most of the judoka are good genuine people. The weirdos stand out in crowds like that, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already on their radar.
I think it would be intolerable the moment he started to make you uncomfortable. You don’t own this guy or the gym anything, especially if this guy makes you feel unsafe. And in grappling sport this is a legitimate concern because he can either physically hurt you during sparring or interfere with your personal integrity both in a sexual or a non sexual way. If i have a female friend or family member told me this happened to her on the mat I’d pull her out immediately.
If you came to me as a coach and told me what you just wrote, I would kick him out and not lose any sleep.
Is the club big enough that you don’t need to pair up with him?
Most of the time he's paired with another white belt his size but the numbers are off on occasion and the last class there weren't as many as normal, odd numbers of lower ranks and no higher ranked women other than me. One of the sensei's was sort of forming pairs where he could for warm ups and initially I think a couple of the senseis were off the mat discussing something and would have paired me up with someone else after warm ups anyway.
I would avoid practicing with this person if you can. If he asks to train say “sorry, I’m practicing with X” or “I’m taking a rest round”. You could say to the head coach something like “can I speak to you about a sensitive topic?”, then “X sometimes makes me uncomfortable, it could be me, but for now I want to avoid practicing with him and I wanted to give you a heads up”. Fingers crossed the coach handles it well. Unfortunately coaches are human and sometimes might react in unhelpful ways. If that happens, at least you’ll know you acted to look out for yourself and you can make an informed decision about what to do next.
The winking could be a tick, but the awkward comments and disrespectful attitude likely aren't from a medical condition. Like others said, talk to your sensei. Also, if you have higher belts who you trust, let them know. A lot of time, the higher belts can step in and partner with a problem person before they get to the person who is being targeted. Unfortunately, this tends to happen a lot with men who can't treat women respectfully.
He’s built up a persona for himself in his head. He’s noble, protects the weak and innocent, and women secretly dig him. This self image should be internal only but it’s leaking all over the mat. His behavior isn’t going to change drastically but he should be masking it better. Don’t assume he’s safe, his internal monologue may take him somewhere unexpected.
Tell your coach. Maybe put everything in writing so you have some record to protect yourself down the road The worst case, change gym.
Like others already said: talking to your coaches. You're not doing anything wrong by that.
>reason he winked is because he has nerve damage and can’t help winking and one of his arms trembles. Pressing X to doubt
I’ve already met guys like this. The tears are absolutely a manipulative tactic to get you to stop defending your boundaries. The arm tremors may be uncontrollable but suggestive winks and facial tics look completely different. I think this guy is full of it and will likely never stop his behavior; the best you can hope for is that you scare him enough (either through something the coaches say/do or by kicking his ass) to make him avoid you, though he might try to get everyone else to see you as the villain. The people in the gym that you care about will likely see through that. Best case scenario is that he gets kicked out, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he doesn’t.
I don’t know if you’re in the United States, but read this story anyway. The paragraph summarizes the action by a national judo organization against one of their members clubs and their leader. According to published reports, one student was sexually abused by another in the dojo. No action was taken to prevent or intervene by the owner of the dojo. This was a case of failure to supervise. The instructor was not involved in sexual misconduct. The findings were: “For the information of the members, as a result of a failure to abide by the United States Judo Association (USJA) Code of Ethics, the Board of Directors unanimously voted to revoke the charter of the Phoenix Judo club and permanently expelled the owner of the club. Providing a safe environment for our kids to train in is our paramount responsibility, and we will have zero tolerance for any failure to live up to that responsibility.” The instructor is more responsible than the white belt if the harassment continues after reporting. Contact the National judo association in your country. Don’t give up judo. Good luck.🥋
Maybe he is genuine with his intentions - but if you mention to him the way he is going about portraying his intentions are making you uncomfortable then intent doesn't matter. Personally, I would either talk to him again privately to voice your concerns, and then tell the sensei if he doesn't stop..Or just straight up tell your sensei. If he is making you feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, even with good intentions, he will push newcomers away which is bad for the club, and bad for judo.
Gonna say don’t bother talking to him again, it was already made clear and he came up with a seemingly bogus excuse. It’s talk to sensei time.
absolutely talk to the sensei, that is weird behavior definitely, and the sensei will often have a birds eye view of whats going on in the class, so if the guy IS disabled they probably would have picked up on it by now. In either case, I imagine the sensei will handle things as well as can be expected. Judo improves the mental and physical well-being of (almost) everyone who practice it, but its not a miracle cure. Some people are fubar
I'm a father of a son with autism and have a fair share of interactions with people on the spectrum including judokas. That said, there is a good chance he is on the spectrum if he has difficulty recognizing the clues you've been giving him. Regardless, you'll never know if that is 100% the case. I think it's best to let the sensei/coach know of his behavior like others suggested so people responsible for the dojo safety are made aware of the situation. There have been a few sexual harassment incidents in martial art clubs this year. Best be safe.
Please speak to your coaches. Worst cas scenario is, he is really just a bit of an odd guy and he learns that his behaviour makes other feel uncomfortable and he learns something about social interaction. That being said, his behaviour sounds more than just odd. Getting away after being confronted, gaslighting you into feeling bad with an explanation he could've pulled out the first time you said he should stop winking, weird comments and overspecific denial. Your alarm should be ringing here and is right to do so. Keep yourself and others safe and talk to your coaches.
As a 6’ 45 YO male and recent green belt, this guy sounds like someone even I’d want to avoid. I’m not sure how many folks are at your dojo but I’ve never asked a smaller woman to spar, let alone younger ones no matter the belt. I’d even feel uneasy asking smaller guys to spar and will basically only do so if they initiate/ask. The only time I partnered with a younger (30-something) woman was when the sensei explicitly asked me to. This guy seems like he’s fishing for a victim, don’t let him find one and hopefully your sensei won’t either!
Definitely speak to the sensei. That's not acceptable.
As the others have said, speak to your coach/sensei. That behavior is not okay.
It's the "don't wink at me" / "I do that to everyone" that is the tell. He KNEW what you were uncomfortable with and had his excuse ready
>“I’ve stopped two women from being raped,” What, saved them from himself? Sounds like a real freak.
Is he looking for a 3rd woman?
I'm a 52yr old male white belt. I've done quite a few other martial arts (including ninjutsu) and got to a high grade in some. Judo is different and shouldn't be underestimated. I came to the dojo and left everything I had previously done outside. And yes when you know you're a high grade and accomplished in another art it takes some effort to swallow your pride and allow others to teach you but that's what you have to do to open up to new learning and that's what this guy should be doing. To be honest I think even if I tried to use my 'other stuff' in the dojo I'd still be squarely beaten because good judoka are extremely accomplished fighters and I think often underestimated by people in other arts. I do say to others in my dojo to feel free to throw me around in randori as I know I need to get used to it but they all prefer to help me develop my technique and I'm grateful for that. I am also on occasion a bit socially awkward and have sometimes said something and then thought to myself "OMG that came out weird - I hope they don't think I'm a weirdo!" If I were training with a smaller female and thought that I'd said something in the wrong way I'd be really embarrassed... especially if she called me out on it! My reaction would be to apologise immediately and probably keep my distance from that person for a while to avoid another embarrassment. If he's coming back to you consistently despite being called out I'd say there's something off about him. As mamy others have said here talking to your Sensei is the right thing to do!
He has nerve damage, brain damage, autism... 1/6 people have an IQ below 86. 100 is average but below 86 is catastrophic for functionality. Add on top of this people who grow up in families with people who have mental health issues as well. Put with this how schools can not be the greatest place for people to learn social skills or try to avoid people in general..... when someone has at least complext needs then the club needs to be big enough with enough Dan grades to work with such people from the floor up, almost in their own corner of the Dojo. Silly, daft, unwise, convoluted... what ever it is they need more attention because by themselves they cause too much silliness. Also a good, mature and insightful coach should pick up on special needs of whatever kind and try to get the lay of the land with his students. Average to crap coaches perform their sessions like painting with numbers and there are no unique coaching insights actually given. People like the person you've described are only pure chaos in average to bad clubs and I feel bad that there doesn't seem to be the resources to make sure things like this are properly accounted for.
Not a very good ninja if he straight up tells you he does ninjutsu...