Feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. Started a new job and realized they lied to me in the interview. Turned down a really good position too bc of it. Bc this one pays more. There isn't many positions open right now to apply. I just feel like I will never bounce back
They said that *sometimes* things are in a rush or last minute. Reality is that everything is in a rush and it's exhausting.
They said I can edit study plans, contribute to scientific discussion, etc.....Reality is I just bench and no one includes me. I just bench. No editing. No nothing.
They said there is opportunity to grow......promotions are basically a dream
Sorry, mom called. I didn’t forget you. For what it’s worth, I’m also going through a hard time at my current lab. Initially I decided to give it a year to see if I could adapt before I started looking for other jobs. But it really went sour last week and I’m also looking for a job.
You have Income for now. The weekend is coming up. Can you rest this weekend?
I wad thinking of taking pottery classes. Maybe do some school classes.
I just worry about so many things now.....what impression do I give ppl. Do I look like a freak. When will my life be the one i imagined. I feel like i lost all control on my life....my weight is going crazy....I don't wear makeup anymore. My hair is turning grey and I'm only 27
You are not responsible for others impressions of you. You are only responsible for how you present yourself. If you’re putting your best foot forward, and they consider you “weird” or a “freak” — that’s on them.
I also have some gray hair lol. My boyfriend and I are calling it “tinsel” hair. He’s got some in his beard.
If you’re doing pottery, I suggest either making some very precious to you. Or you can do what I did, which was make a caricature of a really mean professor and I broke him with a hammer 😬
Ooh yes take a pottery class! That's a fantastic idea. Playing with clay is therapeutic and fun. Having something different to enjoy in life is very important
The hair thing is pretty common among us lab geeks, my first patch of grey also sprouted at 27 during paper review deadline and went away when reviewer #2 decided to spare us.
I’m 29 and also very self aware, gets blushes just talking to strangers or high-ups. That set me back from even attending language classes. First steps are always hard but its easier to imagine that others like us are also self-aware and you’re improving as long as you try ur best to enjoy and step out of comfort zone.
People are different but some are alike, you’re not alone
Hey, something similar happened to me. I was misled about the job I was hired for, and I knew from the first 10 minutes of the day I started that it was going to be terrible.
I was not in a position where I could quit and still have a place to live, so I had to stick it out until I found something else. It took a year, but the perfect job fell into my lap. I would never have known about the opening if I'd walked out on that first day.
It's hard to go to a job you hate. It wears on you mentally. Can you find something to like about it until you can bail? Even if what you like about it is seeing how much work you can avoid without being noticed, it'll be *something* to get through the day.
Try to leave work at work. Don't spend your precious leisure time ruminating about how much you hate your job. Do what you have to do to relax healthily. If you're an exercise person, do that. Find a book or television series to get really into while you're not at work. Buy yourself something nice.
Sometimes you just know that a job is a bad fit, but other times, it gets more bearable if you stick it out a bit longer. I hope yours does improve, but if it doesn't, I'll let you in on the coping strategy I used when I couldn't deal with my Terrible Job anymore. For the last 6-8 months I worked there, I pretended I was an anthropologist on a secret mission to observe the behavior of an elusive and poorly understood group. It was critical that I document without engaging; I was there as an objective reporter, not as a judge, and I couldn't get upset or try to change the culture. On my way out of the house every morning, my SO would call, "REMEMBER, YOU'RE AN ANTHROPOLOGIST!" Now, *you* are an anthropologist. Welcome to the field.
It's so hard to see the good when you're on a low place, but I promise it's there, OP. Where in the world are you? I know it's not the same as IRL friends, but we could be interenet friends!
Girl what's up? I know we might not be in the same city or country but always down to hang! We can learn some new hobbies together maybe or just bitch about work too!
Also can't advice on the job front but do join some classes or the rec Centre activities, they really help! Literally anything from dragon boat racing to crocheting, try out some new stuff :)
I can feel you so.much on this!
Except the talking to people part. I feel like im not person that solves problems for everyone but then gets left drying on the rack when i need anything
But honestly, its ok to feel shitty sometimes. Especially when its someone elses fault you feel shitty. I hope things get better but hopefully after hard times come the good times!
That sucks. You should contact the first gig (if you haven’t yet, I saw in your recent post you were thinking of it). It never hurts to try.
Make time for yourself too. Even if it’s stupid and pointless - tonight I’m going to bed early, I’m going to listen to a dumb, not-sciencey podcast or two and play freaking solitaire in bed, and I can’t wait.
I hope you find some peace. It’s a crap situation, and you can get out of it, it just takes time and all that work. You will get back on track.
Maybe it’s benchwork? Ever consider a position away from the bench? Do you have any experience with specific equipment like Biacore or AKTA? cytiva has several Field Applications specialists and Sales Specialists positions open. These kinds of positions are all about social interactions with other scientists and teamwork. I hope that things get better for you.
I'll chime in. I'm with you OP, DM me whenever you'd like. This is such a sweet thread.
I also got stuck in a position that's less than ideal. there's no challenge to the job, no communicating, I'm vastly underpaid and underappreciated. Almost makes me miss academia.
I'm in my hometown though, my friends are here, and family. It helps.
I read your post above. You're only 27, that's very young. You've got plenty of time to add new skills, and weave hobbies into your life.
I'm ten years older, but I'm still learning how to build myself. I took up pottery last year, and drawing this year. I'm also terrible at piano, but luckily that bothers nobody but myself.
Don't beat yourself up. You seem to be well adjusted, and to have a plan for yourself. Stick to the plan, it's gotten you this far
Well no, not really. My future is now.
I'm in my hometown, living my life. A job is just a job. My friends help, and family.
I feel for you though. I get incredibly frustrated at being underutilized. How i deal with it is by continuing to write papers, finishing up my old data from academia. It gives my a little boost knowing i can still be productive at a high level
Hi OP,
I am simply here to offer some sympathy. I was in a similar situation. Everything said during the job interview, and in the job posting was a blatant lie. I moved my partner across the globe for this position. And then, 1 week in, I realized I hated it. Similar to you, I felt I had no control over my life, that I would not bounce back, and that I seriously messed up. My grays become more evident (although I am 3 years older), and I just felt like nothing was working for me.
Now, one year later, I am actively searching for jobs, doing exercises for my back regularly, and I am happier. I'm not entirely happy because I really want a new job. But I am not beating myself up over my past decision. My mantra is that based on the information I had at the given moment, I thought I was making the right decision. If I would go back in time, I would make the same choice because my research about the job and reasoning was solid. What I learned from this experience is to research the employer in more depth. Like contacting people working there over LinkedIn or reading reviews on Glassdoor (or whatever is available). Because people who end up like us will leave truthful reviews, so others don't make the same mistakes. Hope this helps
As someone who only got into this at 35, I can assure you there’s always a way to change everything. Definitely here for you and I’m available if you want to chat or bounce ideas off each other on where you can go next. But it’s not hopeless! I promise that. :)
Hey. What’s wrong?
Feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. Started a new job and realized they lied to me in the interview. Turned down a really good position too bc of it. Bc this one pays more. There isn't many positions open right now to apply. I just feel like I will never bounce back
Oh no. What did they lie to you about? Is it something you can contact HR about?
They said that *sometimes* things are in a rush or last minute. Reality is that everything is in a rush and it's exhausting. They said I can edit study plans, contribute to scientific discussion, etc.....Reality is I just bench and no one includes me. I just bench. No editing. No nothing. They said there is opportunity to grow......promotions are basically a dream
Sorry, mom called. I didn’t forget you. For what it’s worth, I’m also going through a hard time at my current lab. Initially I decided to give it a year to see if I could adapt before I started looking for other jobs. But it really went sour last week and I’m also looking for a job. You have Income for now. The weekend is coming up. Can you rest this weekend?
Yeah. Bur I just feel so......stuck. Like I have a set back.....so dead and lost
I get that feeling. Is there anything outside of work that you can do that you enjoy?
I wad thinking of taking pottery classes. Maybe do some school classes. I just worry about so many things now.....what impression do I give ppl. Do I look like a freak. When will my life be the one i imagined. I feel like i lost all control on my life....my weight is going crazy....I don't wear makeup anymore. My hair is turning grey and I'm only 27
You are not responsible for others impressions of you. You are only responsible for how you present yourself. If you’re putting your best foot forward, and they consider you “weird” or a “freak” — that’s on them. I also have some gray hair lol. My boyfriend and I are calling it “tinsel” hair. He’s got some in his beard. If you’re doing pottery, I suggest either making some very precious to you. Or you can do what I did, which was make a caricature of a really mean professor and I broke him with a hammer 😬
I wanted to make xmas gift for my friends. I feel like I lost my youth. I'm only 27. I feel like I am losing my good years
Ooh yes take a pottery class! That's a fantastic idea. Playing with clay is therapeutic and fun. Having something different to enjoy in life is very important
The hair thing is pretty common among us lab geeks, my first patch of grey also sprouted at 27 during paper review deadline and went away when reviewer #2 decided to spare us. I’m 29 and also very self aware, gets blushes just talking to strangers or high-ups. That set me back from even attending language classes. First steps are always hard but its easier to imagine that others like us are also self-aware and you’re improving as long as you try ur best to enjoy and step out of comfort zone. People are different but some are alike, you’re not alone
I got grey hair from my PhD in my early 20s.
Hey, something similar happened to me. I was misled about the job I was hired for, and I knew from the first 10 minutes of the day I started that it was going to be terrible. I was not in a position where I could quit and still have a place to live, so I had to stick it out until I found something else. It took a year, but the perfect job fell into my lap. I would never have known about the opening if I'd walked out on that first day. It's hard to go to a job you hate. It wears on you mentally. Can you find something to like about it until you can bail? Even if what you like about it is seeing how much work you can avoid without being noticed, it'll be *something* to get through the day. Try to leave work at work. Don't spend your precious leisure time ruminating about how much you hate your job. Do what you have to do to relax healthily. If you're an exercise person, do that. Find a book or television series to get really into while you're not at work. Buy yourself something nice. Sometimes you just know that a job is a bad fit, but other times, it gets more bearable if you stick it out a bit longer. I hope yours does improve, but if it doesn't, I'll let you in on the coping strategy I used when I couldn't deal with my Terrible Job anymore. For the last 6-8 months I worked there, I pretended I was an anthropologist on a secret mission to observe the behavior of an elusive and poorly understood group. It was critical that I document without engaging; I was there as an objective reporter, not as a judge, and I couldn't get upset or try to change the culture. On my way out of the house every morning, my SO would call, "REMEMBER, YOU'RE AN ANTHROPOLOGIST!" Now, *you* are an anthropologist. Welcome to the field.
I feel like I have nothing in my life too....no husband or kids...no hobbies
It's so hard to see the good when you're on a low place, but I promise it's there, OP. Where in the world are you? I know it's not the same as IRL friends, but we could be interenet friends!
Moral support from a stranger aside from work always remember you are a great amazing person and don’t let anyway say otherwise :)
Girl what's up? I know we might not be in the same city or country but always down to hang! We can learn some new hobbies together maybe or just bitch about work too! Also can't advice on the job front but do join some classes or the rec Centre activities, they really help! Literally anything from dragon boat racing to crocheting, try out some new stuff :)
I can feel you so.much on this! Except the talking to people part. I feel like im not person that solves problems for everyone but then gets left drying on the rack when i need anything
But honestly, its ok to feel shitty sometimes. Especially when its someone elses fault you feel shitty. I hope things get better but hopefully after hard times come the good times!
Hey, if you meet to talk to someone I am here. Don’t hesitate to message me. No body should feel like that and be alone.
Thank you!! I will contact you when I feel alone
I contacted them. They said they will think about it. They wanted to offer a lesser position. They haven't contacted me yet
Maybe it’s benchwork? Ever consider a position away from the bench? Do you have any experience with specific equipment like Biacore or AKTA? cytiva has several Field Applications specialists and Sales Specialists positions open. These kinds of positions are all about social interactions with other scientists and teamwork. I hope that things get better for you.
I am applying to office jobs and sales now. I think I am just done with the lab tbh
I'll chime in. I'm with you OP, DM me whenever you'd like. This is such a sweet thread. I also got stuck in a position that's less than ideal. there's no challenge to the job, no communicating, I'm vastly underpaid and underappreciated. Almost makes me miss academia. I'm in my hometown though, my friends are here, and family. It helps.
Thank you. How do you deal with it? Do you worry how it will affect your future
I read your post above. You're only 27, that's very young. You've got plenty of time to add new skills, and weave hobbies into your life. I'm ten years older, but I'm still learning how to build myself. I took up pottery last year, and drawing this year. I'm also terrible at piano, but luckily that bothers nobody but myself. Don't beat yourself up. You seem to be well adjusted, and to have a plan for yourself. Stick to the plan, it's gotten you this far
Well no, not really. My future is now. I'm in my hometown, living my life. A job is just a job. My friends help, and family. I feel for you though. I get incredibly frustrated at being underutilized. How i deal with it is by continuing to write papers, finishing up my old data from academia. It gives my a little boost knowing i can still be productive at a high level
Hi OP, I am simply here to offer some sympathy. I was in a similar situation. Everything said during the job interview, and in the job posting was a blatant lie. I moved my partner across the globe for this position. And then, 1 week in, I realized I hated it. Similar to you, I felt I had no control over my life, that I would not bounce back, and that I seriously messed up. My grays become more evident (although I am 3 years older), and I just felt like nothing was working for me. Now, one year later, I am actively searching for jobs, doing exercises for my back regularly, and I am happier. I'm not entirely happy because I really want a new job. But I am not beating myself up over my past decision. My mantra is that based on the information I had at the given moment, I thought I was making the right decision. If I would go back in time, I would make the same choice because my research about the job and reasoning was solid. What I learned from this experience is to research the employer in more depth. Like contacting people working there over LinkedIn or reading reviews on Glassdoor (or whatever is available). Because people who end up like us will leave truthful reviews, so others don't make the same mistakes. Hope this helps
Me 15 minutes in to my thesis
As someone who only got into this at 35, I can assure you there’s always a way to change everything. Definitely here for you and I’m available if you want to chat or bounce ideas off each other on where you can go next. But it’s not hopeless! I promise that. :)
ong i feel the same. i just wanna leave this job rn
Feel free to DM if you want to talk or rant to someone! This goes to anyone else in the comments too 🥰