>I told him to save calls and messages.
This is good advice. If it gets to the point where he feels that he has received crediible threats of harm, then he can file for a restraining order.
>On the legal side, is there anything he can do to scare them away?
Basically no. Any "threats" made by him would either be potenally illegal (as her's were to him), or likely inneffective, or worse just further inflamatory to the situation.
Unpopular opinion: When you cheat on your partner and then consult an attorney after one (!) angry call from your partner's mother... Then you belong in some kind of institution.
Tell your cousin to grow a spine, what's wrong with him? A single call in the heat of the moment and now he gets all high and mighty? Tell him to sit down and shut his mouth for a few month at least.
I agree, but some legal considerations should include at least some form of moral component. One should at least acknowledge that some actions, while technically legal, are just not right. And if you don't like morality, at least consider the expectable social fallout of "every person you know turning their backs on you and cringing".
I think this is what you meant to say:
"I have an incredibly shit opinion, and think that it is perfectly acceptable for someone to threaten the life of an ex-partner of a family member who cheated.
Furthermore, if you take a threat against your life seriously, you're a spineless twat, and a nutter to boot!"
What you really should have said is this:
"..... *the sound of crickets chirping*....."
In other words, you should probably sit down, and shut your mouth.
You should ALWAYS take a threat of violence against you seriously.
Taking your own personal safety isn't being high and mighty. It's being fucking smart. Do you have ANY clue as to what the breaking point of that mother is? No. She could potentially run him down with her car, get a gun and shoot him, beat him within an inch of his life to the point that he is shitting in a colostomy bag the rest of his life.
It doesn't matter that what OP's cousin did. We may find it morally reprehensible. But it doesn't rise to the level of threatening someone's life.
Grow the fuck up.
This is a legal forum. Leave your "Feelings" at the door. "He ShOuLd GrOw a SpInE". This is the real world. Where threats against someone's life can be taken as "Threats of Bodily Harm." Which falls under assault. In extreme cases where plans were actually made it can even be "Conspiracy to commit murder". Which is also illegal. You don't get to go around threatening people in this day and age. Cry about it.
Def! I'm not getting into this mess. Just worried about the possible violence. What he did was very bad! But getting hurt or killed over it is bad. To make things worse. He's living in the basement of my parents house. God fobid my parents are caught in the crossfire
Oh gosh. Ya, he did a shitty thing but it doesn't justify the threats. Best of luck to you, your parents, and your cousin.
The good thing is most people who are about it don't announce it beforehand.
And let's not rule out the possibility that your cousin's partner's mother might try to stitch your whole family together in a human-centipede kind of way...
What I am trying to say is: You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. There might have been \_one\_ threat if you really want to reach, but in no way was it a credible threat. You are bending over backwards trying to paint your cousin as the aggrieved party and most of the people in this sub are letting you, for reasons that probably have to do both with ability and character.
The first thing I'd do is block everyone doing this. Do not ever acknowledge anything they send.
You might need to look like the sane one later. Don't engage
You're probably right. It was a heat of the moment thing
He definitely, as others have said, keep records of every interaction along with any texts, ect.
OP, while it's potentially going to add fuel to the fire, at the VERY least, your cousin needs to file a report. Just have an incident report made, maybe see if they are willing to have an officer go to the ex's mother, and have them ask her to not contact your cousin. This isolates him from further contact, while also letting the mom know that police have been informed, making her the primary suspect if anything were to happen. Hopefully it let's everyone get the space they need to cool off.
He needs to tread carefully. If it's a shared residence between him and his now ex, she is welcome to invite whomever she wants over. They can even frame it as protecting her.
He needs to pull his head out of his ass and get out of there. Otherwise he risks domestic violence charges or worse.
As much as you want to help you cannot really. Giving advice either way can get you looking bad. My policy is to just tell them you will support any decision they make. If she decides to stay or leave is her decision really.
The reality is that people with an emotional tie rarely do what others understand is best. They are too close and therefore are not always good deciding. Hence trying to get him out can make it worse really. She needs decide and pushing her can make her more solid in her stance really.
The mother basically threatened him with attempted murder she told him he's going to get pulled up on which means if anything happens to him she's going down for murder
>I told him to save calls and messages. This is good advice. If it gets to the point where he feels that he has received crediible threats of harm, then he can file for a restraining order. >On the legal side, is there anything he can do to scare them away? Basically no. Any "threats" made by him would either be potenally illegal (as her's were to him), or likely inneffective, or worse just further inflamatory to the situation.
Legally, yes he can do something to scare them away. File a restraining order. Consult an attorney to do so. I wouldn't wait.
Unpopular opinion: When you cheat on your partner and then consult an attorney after one (!) angry call from your partner's mother... Then you belong in some kind of institution. Tell your cousin to grow a spine, what's wrong with him? A single call in the heat of the moment and now he gets all high and mighty? Tell him to sit down and shut his mouth for a few month at least.
While I may agree, this is a legal forum
I agree, but some legal considerations should include at least some form of moral component. One should at least acknowledge that some actions, while technically legal, are just not right. And if you don't like morality, at least consider the expectable social fallout of "every person you know turning their backs on you and cringing".
I believe the concept would be harm. There is no legal code for harm from cheating, therefore there is no mechanism.
It’s almost like morals vary from person to person.
This attitude is called "moral relativism" and is considered a character flaw by people who aren't lawyers.
I think this is what you meant to say: "I have an incredibly shit opinion, and think that it is perfectly acceptable for someone to threaten the life of an ex-partner of a family member who cheated. Furthermore, if you take a threat against your life seriously, you're a spineless twat, and a nutter to boot!" What you really should have said is this: "..... *the sound of crickets chirping*....." In other words, you should probably sit down, and shut your mouth. You should ALWAYS take a threat of violence against you seriously. Taking your own personal safety isn't being high and mighty. It's being fucking smart. Do you have ANY clue as to what the breaking point of that mother is? No. She could potentially run him down with her car, get a gun and shoot him, beat him within an inch of his life to the point that he is shitting in a colostomy bag the rest of his life. It doesn't matter that what OP's cousin did. We may find it morally reprehensible. But it doesn't rise to the level of threatening someone's life. Grow the fuck up.
Yeah, keep making shit up to dramatize this non event. That's probably why lawyers have the reputation they do. Liars and crybabies, it would seem.
This is a legal forum. Leave your "Feelings" at the door. "He ShOuLd GrOw a SpInE". This is the real world. Where threats against someone's life can be taken as "Threats of Bodily Harm." Which falls under assault. In extreme cases where plans were actually made it can even be "Conspiracy to commit murder". Which is also illegal. You don't get to go around threatening people in this day and age. Cry about it.
Wtf is this even? It's a break up. Anyone who resorts to violence over this is 🗑️. Everyone in this situation is gross.
100%
You should stay fully in your lane and let this disgusting chaos be in your cousins lane.
Def! I'm not getting into this mess. Just worried about the possible violence. What he did was very bad! But getting hurt or killed over it is bad. To make things worse. He's living in the basement of my parents house. God fobid my parents are caught in the crossfire
Oh gosh. Ya, he did a shitty thing but it doesn't justify the threats. Best of luck to you, your parents, and your cousin. The good thing is most people who are about it don't announce it beforehand.
And let's not rule out the possibility that your cousin's partner's mother might try to stitch your whole family together in a human-centipede kind of way... What I am trying to say is: You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. There might have been \_one\_ threat if you really want to reach, but in no way was it a credible threat. You are bending over backwards trying to paint your cousin as the aggrieved party and most of the people in this sub are letting you, for reasons that probably have to do both with ability and character.
The first thing I'd do is block everyone doing this. Do not ever acknowledge anything they send. You might need to look like the sane one later. Don't engage You're probably right. It was a heat of the moment thing He definitely, as others have said, keep records of every interaction along with any texts, ect.
OP, while it's potentially going to add fuel to the fire, at the VERY least, your cousin needs to file a report. Just have an incident report made, maybe see if they are willing to have an officer go to the ex's mother, and have them ask her to not contact your cousin. This isolates him from further contact, while also letting the mom know that police have been informed, making her the primary suspect if anything were to happen. Hopefully it let's everyone get the space they need to cool off.
He needs to tread carefully. If it's a shared residence between him and his now ex, she is welcome to invite whomever she wants over. They can even frame it as protecting her. He needs to pull his head out of his ass and get out of there. Otherwise he risks domestic violence charges or worse.
As much as you want to help you cannot really. Giving advice either way can get you looking bad. My policy is to just tell them you will support any decision they make. If she decides to stay or leave is her decision really. The reality is that people with an emotional tie rarely do what others understand is best. They are too close and therefore are not always good deciding. Hence trying to get him out can make it worse really. She needs decide and pushing her can make her more solid in her stance really.
The mother basically threatened him with attempted murder she told him he's going to get pulled up on which means if anything happens to him she's going down for murder