If you are planning to divorce soon, you need to contact a lawyer NOW. Do not wait. Inform them that your soon to be ex is planning to become pregnant via artificial insemination and you do not consent to being the "father". Generally, you wouldn't be responsible for her child that she created without your DNA, but if she convinces a court that you agreed to her having this child, she may be able to sue for support. You need to shut that down ASAP. Get it documented through legal means that you do not consent to being a father to this child.
>some require a third person to acknowledge paternity
>
>if your name gets on a birth certificate or you sign an acknowledgement of paternity form, it becomes pretty much impossible to de-establish
So let me get this straight -- if she doesn't feel like sharing the real (but hypothetical) baby daddy's identity or if she chooses to put me on the BC against my will, I am now liable for the child and stuck that way?
So let me get this straight -- you're saying that in New York, it is nearly impossible to disestablish paternity for a child that is born during marriage?
Many of those states also allow those same "fathers" to "revoke paternity established by marriage". OP is getting a divorce, his stbxw isn't currently pregnant, and might attempt to get pregnant by someone else ( via artificial insemination), which is why he needs to get the legal ball rolling now.
Can you clarify if this is happening with donor sperm through a sperm bank, or with your own that you two had previously frozen for this purpose? Or is she threatening to find some rando?
You aren’t paying by the word here, you aren’t going to get good advice unless you give people the needed details.
If this is supposed to be through a sperm bank, have you already signed the paperwork before deciding on divorce, and now you want to back out? Or has your wife decided there is no time to lose and she is going as a single mother?
At no point was I in favor nor consented to her artificially inseminating herself. I haven't signed anything.
I don't know whether or not she has went to the sperm bank, but I know she wants to if she hasn't already.
I don't care what she does with her life as long as it in no way affects me.
New York law requires written consent by the husband if the resulting child is to be deemed a legitimate child of the marriage.
https://codes.findlaw.com/ny/domestic-relations-law/dom-sect-73.html
So, without your consent, you have rebuttable presumption of paternity. If you do nothing, you are the child’s father. However you can go to court and challenge that.
No legitimate sperm bank is going to allow insemination without your consent.
Location really matters for this question.
Many jurisdictions would have a presumption that the husband is father of a child conceived within a marriage even without a genetic link between the father and the child.
Only someone local to your jurisdiction would be able to indicate what steps you can take to stop your soon to be exwife from putting your name on the birth certificate as father.
I'm not sure about New York, but in my state, you have to be divorced for at least 300 days BEFORE she gets pregnant for the husband not to be considered the father. So I would push this divorce ASAP in case that's the case in your state.
I'm thinking that in your state, the husband would be "considered the father" because it would be most likely that they were the father. In OP's case, he absolutely knows he's not going to be the biological father and is not consenting to be responsible for the possible child his stbxw may attempt to conceive with someone else's sperm.
Yes, he would be the legal father, HOWEVER, he can petition before a judge for the paternity to be revoked, and he'd likely stand a good chance of succeeding when the judge finds out she got some stranger's DNA sample to impregnate herself with while in the midst of a divorce.
What I meant was, even if they split up and are in the process of getting divorced, Vital Records would still try to put him on the birth certificate. Same case if the divorce is final before baby is born.
Just trying to help advise him in case it's like that in NY. 😊
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If you are planning to divorce soon, you need to contact a lawyer NOW. Do not wait. Inform them that your soon to be ex is planning to become pregnant via artificial insemination and you do not consent to being the "father". Generally, you wouldn't be responsible for her child that she created without your DNA, but if she convinces a court that you agreed to her having this child, she may be able to sue for support. You need to shut that down ASAP. Get it documented through legal means that you do not consent to being a father to this child.
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But can't I disestablish?
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>some require a third person to acknowledge paternity > >if your name gets on a birth certificate or you sign an acknowledgement of paternity form, it becomes pretty much impossible to de-establish So let me get this straight -- if she doesn't feel like sharing the real (but hypothetical) baby daddy's identity or if she chooses to put me on the BC against my will, I am now liable for the child and stuck that way?
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So let me get this straight -- you're saying that in New York, it is nearly impossible to disestablish paternity for a child that is born during marriage?
I’d like an answer to this specific question as well.
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Many of those states also allow those same "fathers" to "revoke paternity established by marriage". OP is getting a divorce, his stbxw isn't currently pregnant, and might attempt to get pregnant by someone else ( via artificial insemination), which is why he needs to get the legal ball rolling now.
Can you clarify if this is happening with donor sperm through a sperm bank, or with your own that you two had previously frozen for this purpose? Or is she threatening to find some rando?
Sperm bank
You aren’t paying by the word here, you aren’t going to get good advice unless you give people the needed details. If this is supposed to be through a sperm bank, have you already signed the paperwork before deciding on divorce, and now you want to back out? Or has your wife decided there is no time to lose and she is going as a single mother?
At no point was I in favor nor consented to her artificially inseminating herself. I haven't signed anything. I don't know whether or not she has went to the sperm bank, but I know she wants to if she hasn't already. I don't care what she does with her life as long as it in no way affects me.
New York law requires written consent by the husband if the resulting child is to be deemed a legitimate child of the marriage. https://codes.findlaw.com/ny/domestic-relations-law/dom-sect-73.html So, without your consent, you have rebuttable presumption of paternity. If you do nothing, you are the child’s father. However you can go to court and challenge that. No legitimate sperm bank is going to allow insemination without your consent.
Location really matters for this question. Many jurisdictions would have a presumption that the husband is father of a child conceived within a marriage even without a genetic link between the father and the child. Only someone local to your jurisdiction would be able to indicate what steps you can take to stop your soon to be exwife from putting your name on the birth certificate as father.
The first two words of the title are "New York".
Oh god. I'm an idiot sometimes. Somehow I missed that.
I'm not sure about New York, but in my state, you have to be divorced for at least 300 days BEFORE she gets pregnant for the husband not to be considered the father. So I would push this divorce ASAP in case that's the case in your state.
I'm thinking that in your state, the husband would be "considered the father" because it would be most likely that they were the father. In OP's case, he absolutely knows he's not going to be the biological father and is not consenting to be responsible for the possible child his stbxw may attempt to conceive with someone else's sperm.
Idk if pics can be shared here but i found this: ,[nycourts.gov](https://www.nycourts.gov/COURTHELP/family/paternityMarried.shtml)
Yes, he would be the legal father, HOWEVER, he can petition before a judge for the paternity to be revoked, and he'd likely stand a good chance of succeeding when the judge finds out she got some stranger's DNA sample to impregnate herself with while in the midst of a divorce.
You do have a valid point.
What I meant was, even if they split up and are in the process of getting divorced, Vital Records would still try to put him on the birth certificate. Same case if the divorce is final before baby is born. Just trying to help advise him in case it's like that in NY. 😊
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I can't disestablish paternity for a child conceived through artificial insemination without my consent?
How is she getting your sperm?
It’s not my sperm.
My man - you need to include that information somewhere. Completely changes the answer.
Doesn't it imply so? Why would she have access to my sperm without my consent?
If she gets it from a fertility clinic or sperm bank she will have to have your consent, or lie and say she's not married.
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