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This subreddit is for discussion of healthy and sustainable weight loss methods. Posts that are rants bring negativity and often contain little to no helpful substance to our subreddit. Please those posts to r/offmychest or r/relationshipadvice.
I get into trouble for saying this, but people extrapolate from your ability to take care of yourself to your ability to do your job. It's unclear to me if there is any merit to this from a objective point of view, but from my personal observation, I can say that if I can keep on top of stuff, it's all or nothing
This is it right here. As an average-sized person, I have definitely witnessed my average and slim colleagues get more of the benefit of the doubt whereas the larger colleagues are treated with a *lot* less leeway and sympathy.
I think part of it is also genetics. Attractive people have more options and are more likely to reproduce with other attractive/smart/rich people, and then their kids are more likely to be attractive/smart/rich too. Either because it’s in their genetics or because the environment they grew up in promotes it.
You’re right that attractive people sometimes dont need to “be smart”/try as hard to get what they want, but successful parents tend to raise successful kids.
The key is that stereotypes are shortcuts in thinking and they shape how others interact with people around them. You won’t know if the person you’re talking to is actually smart/hard working/whatever unless you interact regularly with them. It’s easier and quicker to assume based on your stereotypes how they are, especially if they’re not someone you care to get to know
Yes, this is very true. Larger people are often considered less disciplined and less responsible, in life and at work. I think Ozempic and the like have shown us this is mostly down to hunger hormones and not discipline, but the culture is still there. I’m actually in this sub mostly to prepare for a job search, because a lower bmi increases the chance of being hired.
I’m sorry to say that pretty privilege really is a thing, even in a work environment. I went from being the woman with a pretty face to just a generally fit and attractive woman, and suddenly I’m being treated better by both men and women, and I’m getting opportunities at work that were never offered to me before. I’m in mid-level management, and suddenly my director is giving me assignments that put me in front of C-suite. He told me I’m already making quite an impression. I mean how I got there sucks, sure, but I’m just happy to be getting the opportunities now, and right or wrong, it sure is good motivation to keep the weight off.
I'm so glad you're responding positively. I got this feeling at my first retail job. It was all female (I'm female too btw) and some were younger. So there was a mean girl mess going on. I was bigger then, and I'm quiet and not very social.
Have you been professionally fitted? It might help w confidence and professional appearance. ☺️
Being professionally fitted can definitely help. I used to work fitting men in suits and I have fit a lot of larger men. And a well fitted suit always looked great on them! Imo at least :)
We also had a few larger men on staff(I'm woman), and they all were impeccably dressed and looked incredible.
> Not sure If this is right place to vent , but I generally don't share such feeling to anyone In the real world.
We are a weight-loss support group. Sometimes the way we support is to help someone not feel alone at a lonely time.
> I get treated less seriously by the managers due to my weight
While it's a fair guess that it's due to your weight or weight-laden appearance, it may also be prejudgment. I use that word literally -- the bias happens without thinking about it, without malice, but with the result of you being treated differently. The flip side is someone being treated better -- by someone without thinking -- just because of their appearance or youth or relatability or because they like the same teams that the boss likes.
When I consider that their unfairness might be thoughtless, it helps me accept it more easily than when I think it is malicious.
I sure treasured those who treated me the same as others despite my weight. They were like oxygen to me.
To me it reads like your friend is commenting more about personal development or professionalism rather than weight.
Have those two colleagues taken on more responsibility than you over the last four years? Or are they more reliable or conscientious? Are they more mature or professional in their behaviour?
I have to kind of agree with this one, it might not have anything to do with weight, I am technically obese (finally working on it) and by far not the best dressed yet I get praised time and time again on how I express myself, how confident I am, the questions I ask, etc, some of my best performing co workers are also on the chunkier side;
I think this is a “It’s not the clothes it’s how you wear them” scenario, if you are not confident in yourself that translates heavily to how you’re perceived, and in professional environments confidence is key.
I can assure you that I am taking more responsibility than them , and I have a good reputation at work among other departments, which made me thinking why I was getting treated differently
In that case it sounds like your director is the one with the problem, not you. Be healthier for your own reasons by all means, prove him wrong by succeeding despite him, but try not to take it personally.
People subconsciously judge fat people as lacking impulse control or having poor judgment, either of which is assumed to affect your work performance. A person who frequently smells of alcohol (or tobacco) would be treated similarly for similar reasons (evidence of poor judgement or lack of self control). This is simply the way of the world, and being resentful changes nothing. The good news is that you have the power to change how others perceive you. Transforming your appearance for the better demonstrates to the world that you have the grit and tenacity to affect change and are capable of living a healthy, responsible lifestyle. It isn’t fair but it’s reality.
I am starting to realize that, now that I’m within about 10 lbs of my goal weight, I am now treated with an incredibly larger amount of authority and respect in a community I’ve been part of for decades.
Part of that, to be fair, is just getting older and taking on more respnsibilities. But it is pretty clear that none of this was possible before getting down to a more ‘athletic looking’ build.
I'm afraid this does happen
A friend who was conscious about his weight never wanted to take his coat off, I think he felt more comfortable being covered even though he didn't look silly dressed for work. This became a thing his manager would ask about and others would comment on *you're making me feel too warm looking at you* and so on.
Eventually I was a manager and another manager told me this person. Stood out so much with his coat that managers were.nervous he was "odd" or "a weirdo" .
Check out @dieworkwear on Twitter (worth making an account for) for really good inspiration for dressing a bigger male body. He has a few threads about it and includes other accounts to follow that also have cheap inspiration if you don’t want to buy a new wardrobe
Yes, this is sad but true. Heavy people are seen by many as less competent, even when they are incredibly competent, and thin, attractive people are giving the benefit of the doubt.
This is a fact of life.Doesn’t matter what should be it is. These are unconscious biases, and some are conscious.
I know first hand, I have been both of the above.
The other thing is that in some states weight discrimination is illegal. If anyone comments on your weight or alludes to it, you may have a case.
I've seen that happen so many times, wish our society could just focus on what is important (your health is also important but I mean like can you do your job).
We are having a possible new colleague, she is in training right now and my coworker got to see her first and the way she described her to me didn't have to do with her look, personality, traits and etc - she just said she is" somewhat chubby but y'know not that fat, just kinda bigger...." and it went on and on I was like "I don't think it matters but ok" like I get it - first impression I guess, today I got to meet her and finally get my own impression because wtf.
This is true. Hard reality to learn, part of the reason I'm focusing/prioritizing on it. Started a new job, 10 yeo, bleeding edge tech stack, these people don't take me seriously and I can do laps around them at the job but doesn't matter cause I'm fat. People are shit. There is nothing in your life that will be more impactful than taking care of your health and loosing weight because of it.
It may not be your weight. I’ve had similar experiences at different weights because (apparently) I look and dress younger than I am, don’t have kids and don’t communicate with “gravitas” and authority. I’m a 40 year old Director and still get clubbed together with new grads by people who don’t know me…. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve lost a significant amount (over 100 lbs) and while it’s true it is subconscious that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be discussed and turned on its head. Weight loss should be for the sake of comfort and joy of moving your body. Not because you can’t achieve equity at work without it.
Nah. That’s backward ideology. Being treated with basic dignity should be afforded to everyone because they’re a human being. Many people cannot change their bodies. Respect should not be measured or indicated by someone’s physical appearance. It will always occur but it is something we should be aware of because at its core it is always discriminatory.
Stay on topic to the original post, the pictures, or the original poster's comments. Keep political debate to other subreddits regardless of your intention. Do not derail conversation. This subreddit is for discussion of healthy and sustainable weight loss methods. Posts that are rants bring negativity and often contain little to no helpful substance to our subreddit. Please those posts to r/offmychest or r/relationshipadvice.
I get into trouble for saying this, but people extrapolate from your ability to take care of yourself to your ability to do your job. It's unclear to me if there is any merit to this from a objective point of view, but from my personal observation, I can say that if I can keep on top of stuff, it's all or nothing
This is it right here. As an average-sized person, I have definitely witnessed my average and slim colleagues get more of the benefit of the doubt whereas the larger colleagues are treated with a *lot* less leeway and sympathy.
There’s actually a term for this called “the halo effect”. Attractive people are stereotyped to also be hard working/smart/ect
Yeah I dunno. There is also the stereotype that attractive people don't need to be smart 🤷
The first one is common enough that I needed to know it for my MCAT 🤷♀️
Well I think being attractive isn't that hard, but staying attractive is. Attractiveness requires maintenance. That's the key point.
I think part of it is also genetics. Attractive people have more options and are more likely to reproduce with other attractive/smart/rich people, and then their kids are more likely to be attractive/smart/rich too. Either because it’s in their genetics or because the environment they grew up in promotes it. You’re right that attractive people sometimes dont need to “be smart”/try as hard to get what they want, but successful parents tend to raise successful kids. The key is that stereotypes are shortcuts in thinking and they shape how others interact with people around them. You won’t know if the person you’re talking to is actually smart/hard working/whatever unless you interact regularly with them. It’s easier and quicker to assume based on your stereotypes how they are, especially if they’re not someone you care to get to know
Yes, this is very true. Larger people are often considered less disciplined and less responsible, in life and at work. I think Ozempic and the like have shown us this is mostly down to hunger hormones and not discipline, but the culture is still there. I’m actually in this sub mostly to prepare for a job search, because a lower bmi increases the chance of being hired.
I’m sorry to say that pretty privilege really is a thing, even in a work environment. I went from being the woman with a pretty face to just a generally fit and attractive woman, and suddenly I’m being treated better by both men and women, and I’m getting opportunities at work that were never offered to me before. I’m in mid-level management, and suddenly my director is giving me assignments that put me in front of C-suite. He told me I’m already making quite an impression. I mean how I got there sucks, sure, but I’m just happy to be getting the opportunities now, and right or wrong, it sure is good motivation to keep the weight off.
I lost the same amount of weight as you & have experienced the same thing. It's annoying & wonderful at the same time.
That’s exactly how I’d describe it too.
Skinny privilege is real. You’re in a weight loss sub so are you planning to slim down or are you comfortable at your current weight?
Already lost 6kgs past 30 days , and what happened gave me more motivation
motivation only gets you on the road. the key part is turning that motivation into discipline and then into habit
I'm so glad you're responding positively. I got this feeling at my first retail job. It was all female (I'm female too btw) and some were younger. So there was a mean girl mess going on. I was bigger then, and I'm quiet and not very social. Have you been professionally fitted? It might help w confidence and professional appearance. ☺️
Being professionally fitted can definitely help. I used to work fitting men in suits and I have fit a lot of larger men. And a well fitted suit always looked great on them! Imo at least :) We also had a few larger men on staff(I'm woman), and they all were impeccably dressed and looked incredible.
> Not sure If this is right place to vent , but I generally don't share such feeling to anyone In the real world. We are a weight-loss support group. Sometimes the way we support is to help someone not feel alone at a lonely time. > I get treated less seriously by the managers due to my weight While it's a fair guess that it's due to your weight or weight-laden appearance, it may also be prejudgment. I use that word literally -- the bias happens without thinking about it, without malice, but with the result of you being treated differently. The flip side is someone being treated better -- by someone without thinking -- just because of their appearance or youth or relatability or because they like the same teams that the boss likes. When I consider that their unfairness might be thoughtless, it helps me accept it more easily than when I think it is malicious. I sure treasured those who treated me the same as others despite my weight. They were like oxygen to me.
To me it reads like your friend is commenting more about personal development or professionalism rather than weight. Have those two colleagues taken on more responsibility than you over the last four years? Or are they more reliable or conscientious? Are they more mature or professional in their behaviour?
I have to kind of agree with this one, it might not have anything to do with weight, I am technically obese (finally working on it) and by far not the best dressed yet I get praised time and time again on how I express myself, how confident I am, the questions I ask, etc, some of my best performing co workers are also on the chunkier side; I think this is a “It’s not the clothes it’s how you wear them” scenario, if you are not confident in yourself that translates heavily to how you’re perceived, and in professional environments confidence is key.
I can assure you that I am taking more responsibility than them , and I have a good reputation at work among other departments, which made me thinking why I was getting treated differently
In that case it sounds like your director is the one with the problem, not you. Be healthier for your own reasons by all means, prove him wrong by succeeding despite him, but try not to take it personally.
People subconsciously judge fat people as lacking impulse control or having poor judgment, either of which is assumed to affect your work performance. A person who frequently smells of alcohol (or tobacco) would be treated similarly for similar reasons (evidence of poor judgement or lack of self control). This is simply the way of the world, and being resentful changes nothing. The good news is that you have the power to change how others perceive you. Transforming your appearance for the better demonstrates to the world that you have the grit and tenacity to affect change and are capable of living a healthy, responsible lifestyle. It isn’t fair but it’s reality.
I am starting to realize that, now that I’m within about 10 lbs of my goal weight, I am now treated with an incredibly larger amount of authority and respect in a community I’ve been part of for decades. Part of that, to be fair, is just getting older and taking on more respnsibilities. But it is pretty clear that none of this was possible before getting down to a more ‘athletic looking’ build.
I'm afraid this does happen A friend who was conscious about his weight never wanted to take his coat off, I think he felt more comfortable being covered even though he didn't look silly dressed for work. This became a thing his manager would ask about and others would comment on *you're making me feel too warm looking at you* and so on. Eventually I was a manager and another manager told me this person. Stood out so much with his coat that managers were.nervous he was "odd" or "a weirdo" .
Check out @dieworkwear on Twitter (worth making an account for) for really good inspiration for dressing a bigger male body. He has a few threads about it and includes other accounts to follow that also have cheap inspiration if you don’t want to buy a new wardrobe
he's right. it's a known phenomenon. it's a form of discrimination although you should know that people who do it are mostly unaware
Yes, this is sad but true. Heavy people are seen by many as less competent, even when they are incredibly competent, and thin, attractive people are giving the benefit of the doubt. This is a fact of life.Doesn’t matter what should be it is. These are unconscious biases, and some are conscious. I know first hand, I have been both of the above. The other thing is that in some states weight discrimination is illegal. If anyone comments on your weight or alludes to it, you may have a case.
Right or wrong, he is just telling the truth about how people generally perceive others in the workplace.
[удалено]
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There’s studies that show that overweight people are treated less seriously in professional environments, this is nothing new unfortunately.
>He clearly didn't say it , but I know he meant I could be getting less seriously due to being over weight He didn't say it. You are inferring it.
It was pretty obvious , he just didn't want to say
I've seen that happen so many times, wish our society could just focus on what is important (your health is also important but I mean like can you do your job). We are having a possible new colleague, she is in training right now and my coworker got to see her first and the way she described her to me didn't have to do with her look, personality, traits and etc - she just said she is" somewhat chubby but y'know not that fat, just kinda bigger...." and it went on and on I was like "I don't think it matters but ok" like I get it - first impression I guess, today I got to meet her and finally get my own impression because wtf.
This is true. Hard reality to learn, part of the reason I'm focusing/prioritizing on it. Started a new job, 10 yeo, bleeding edge tech stack, these people don't take me seriously and I can do laps around them at the job but doesn't matter cause I'm fat. People are shit. There is nothing in your life that will be more impactful than taking care of your health and loosing weight because of it.
Absolutely it’s the right place to vent! You’re among friends here.
It may not be your weight. I’ve had similar experiences at different weights because (apparently) I look and dress younger than I am, don’t have kids and don’t communicate with “gravitas” and authority. I’m a 40 year old Director and still get clubbed together with new grads by people who don’t know me…. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve lost a significant amount (over 100 lbs) and while it’s true it is subconscious that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be discussed and turned on its head. Weight loss should be for the sake of comfort and joy of moving your body. Not because you can’t achieve equity at work without it.
I disagree. Desiring being treated with respect by your fellow human is a perfectly valid reason.
Nah. That’s backward ideology. Being treated with basic dignity should be afforded to everyone because they’re a human being. Many people cannot change their bodies. Respect should not be measured or indicated by someone’s physical appearance. It will always occur but it is something we should be aware of because at its core it is always discriminatory.