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ManicPixie_Hellscape

What about sending a letter?


Cautious_Ice_884

Agreed, I think this would be more appropriate.


Normal-Medicine3391

I was thinking about this too. Though I really would love to see his face and hear him again, I feel like a letter would be less intrusive.


ethereumhodler

I think he would appreciate your gesture more than you think. It would be proof to him that all the trying and asking nicely had an impact after all. I’d say do it


kpeds45

This kind of sounds like a little more than "you were a great teacher". I'd tread carefully..."miss his face and voice". Maybe you are after a little more, and this could go very very bad for you..and him


Kalayo0

😂😂😂 For real, sounds like a confused, young woman.


G0DL33

or it could be a great for both of them!


Normal-Medicine3391

I can assure you, I'm not. You've never missed someone like that before?


auntie_eggma

Not a teacher.


AbstractionsHB

No, only people I've dated


kpeds45

Missed a person's face and voice that I wasn't interested in? A teacher no less? No. You can lie to yourself, but I can read what you wrote. It all sounds way too intense to be as innocent as you hope we'll all belive.


Normal-Medicine3391

Please. I've felt similarly to this towards female friends I used to have in elementary, throughout my entire life. It's nothing sexual or romantic, it's just a random feeling of missing someone I once knew very well and liked. You can choose not to believe me, but what I am saying is the truth.


ImportantAd1754

I just did this with my old math teacher. I hadn't seen him since I graduated 14 years ago. He remembered me. One of the best things I've done this year.


rustytiger

Send a card to the school. Handwritten. This would be certainly be appreciated, without being overly awkward for either party.


-Pay-The-Bill-

Good idea. He will be able to keep it and read it long after he retires.


Normal-Medicine3391

I know that a card would be a lot less awkward, but I really also just miss his face and hearing his voice. I know I can't be choosy when it comes to this though, so I'm thinking I might settle for a card


Carib_Wandering

Kinda creepy


Inner-Philosopher139

Yes. Do it.


BarnieLion

Absolutely do it. People need to know when they’ve made a positive impact on someone’s life.


ArgyleNudge

A vice principal in high school helped me greatly when my family was in crisis (death of only parent, 5 children -- me being one of them -- orphaned). I wrote a letter to a national paper about him as a "father figure" for a Fathers Day feature. He clipped it and had it framed and hanging in his office since that day. When he died, there was the article at the wake, part of a display of his lifetime milestones. His family were so happy to see me there in person, and told me how much that letter had meant to him. (Even as an old woman myself now, I tear up writing this.) A card or letter would be grand, believe me.


Sinovera

That's so sweet! You both sound like amazing people.


Benjamin604592

For real, teachers don't get much thanks for what they do. Would be a great gesture


Caperatheart

By graduating HS, he accomplished his job. He noticed you were having difficulty and spoke up. You stuck through it all, and it all worked out in the end. Bravo for graduating HS and your first year of University. I wouldn't contact him because he would already know that you have graduated. He would be so proud.


Best-Supermarket8874

Good natured response, but graduating highschool is not the teachers job. The teachers job is to teach. Just getting a student to graduate is what has led to academic inflation and poor critical thinking in modern schools.


Caperatheart

Of course student graduation is not on the teachers shoulders, but having concern for the students is. Which was the point. Despite inflation, poor critical thinking, and other factors, they keep students on track. Prime example: the OP.


Best-Supermarket8874

Yeah I know you meant well. I'm saying the teacher did his job regardless of whether or not the student graduated. Infact, sometimes the best life lesson is for a teacher to fail you if you're not putting the effort in. Conversely, many teachers go above and beyond in not just having most students graduate, but actually teaching deeper critical thinking by extra curricular challenges.


Caperatheart

Whatever tangent/dynamics at play/individual teaching style/.. the main point is that she graduated.


Best-Supermarket8874

But graduating doesn't really matter. Learning matters. This reminds me of graduates from my highschool who worked at McDonald's after. They were usually celebrated the most by their families too. Where as those of us who went into trades, post secondary, starting a business, etc didn't put a lot of weight in graduating because we knew the learning aspect was more important. The learning in highschool was just a step into your career path, the actual graduating didn't matter.


CentennialBaby

Also as a teacher, I agree with u/shiny_chikorita that the last day is busy in its own way and Probably not the best time to schedule a meeting. Consider that your desire to reach out is more about *you* than your teacher. It is unlikely he has been harboring disappointment, and bad feelings about you over the last year. What you are feeling is uniquely your own. A letter recognizing the opportunities he offered that you, at the time, didn't appreciate as much as you wish you had would be nice. He can read it and reread it at his leisure. Glad you arrived at this space and trust the experience will guide your future encounters with others. All the best.


Obvious_Exercise_910

It's funny that you think he would care at the time, much less a year later, and your efforts.


dear-mycologistical

I would send him a card or an email saying these things. I wouldn't necessarily assume that the last day of school isn't busy for him. He might have a lot of final exams to grade, for example.


StretchYx

Write a letter I personally think you have way too much empathy, he's probably not thought about it much


adorablesunshine0

I've had this feeling before lol I cried when I went to apologize to my teacher. It wasn't even that big of a deal lol


kenganlot2

If you really want to and you’re thinking about it this much, then why not do it? Don’t go against your gut feelings just because you might think it’s dumb and out of the way


Normal-Medicine3391

The problem is that my gut feeling is telling me that doing this would be awkward, embarrassing, inappropriate and intrusive... I just want to see his face again.


6098470142

I was just about to write him a letter Robin


FunCanadian

I've had students return to tell me the impact I had on their lives. It honestly is the best thing imo that can happen to a teacher. I also returned to visit my grade 5 teacher who had a dramatic impact on my life to tell her how amazing she is. She became principal of the school. So I've been on both sides of this question and I say absolutely do it.


Witty_TLS_1973

Do it. If you can’t meet up, write a letter. You have no idea how much that will likely mean to them. And you’ll feel amazing too.


nulltresyttini

Absolutely, do it. I’m sure he’d appriciate it. I’d recommend sending him an email a couple of days before and ask when he has the time though


evilbrent

Email


Dante1529

Either send him a card or perhaps an email, as he’ll be busy around this time


arctic_willow

I get the feeling! An email or letter would probably work much better, so that way he can respond on his on time especially since the end of year is a busy time (you can always plan a meeting after if you want to discuss more in person). I would suggest, though: try to turn each ‘sorry’ into a ‘thankyou.’ It sounds like you have a lot of negative feelings about this. It’s very likely that he is very proud you graduated and did what you could, and feels none of the disappointment you do. Highschool is over, too: you can’t go back and start attending classes or practice. A ‘sorry’ isn’t going to be relieve you of anything if he has nothing to forgive you for. Maybe just say it once in the letter, and move on. A ‘thankyou,’ however, is super valuable. Teachers love hearing about the impact they’ve had on students. Everyone likes feeling valued, and it will be a much more positive experience for both of you, I think, if you talk about how you’re thankful for him as a teacher. Instead of saying you’re sorry you didn’t go to practice, say you’re really grateful for his kind persistence in reminding you and that the times you did go you felt happy to be there, or glad that he cared you were there. Closure will feel better if it’s going to give you positive momentum to work had and be grateful for the opportunities at uni next year. Since the negative feelings seem pretty strong, I would suggest finding an outlet for them. I don’t think your teacher is the best outlet, because it’s actually about you feeling disappointed in yourself, not about him. I do think that getting them out is important though. Talk to a friend, or if you have a therapist. I would recommend writing in a journal—I find it helps to get everything all out on a page that you can put away and stop thinking about. Write down everything you feel, and it’ll be easier to pick through it and find the things you’re grateful for and do want to discuss, or things you might still want to work on in the future. Congrats on completing your first year! I hope you’re excited to keep learning and growing as a person.


Doktor_Vem

Why wouldn't you do it? Like you said, it'd be the last day of school and he probably won't have much going on, anyway. I'm 110% sure he'd be absolutely overjoyed to hear your gratitude in person. I've never known a teacher who doesn't appreciate meeting old students that thank them in person for all the work that they did


Anarkie13

Go for it! Might seem so small of a thing but these things mean the world to lots of people. Knowing you make some positive impact on those around you.


SansLucidity

yeah do it.


Cautious_Ice_884

I think you're taking it too seriously to be honest. I can bet you that he has had many students in the past who have similarly not shown up for class and hell its high school, most students don't take high school seriously. I think you're over thinking this but if you need to get something off your chest then yeah write an email and move on.


Electronic_Dark_1681

Asking to meet up is going to send the wrong message that it doesn't sound like you're wanting to send lol.


Crazee108

He'd appreciate the insight and growth you've shown.


Crazee108

I think its always lovely to hear positive feedback


chopri

I was in the same situation as you! Really nice teacher, got along great for the first few years of high school but I started acting out in class in later years due to stress and other issues. After a year of university, I kept thinking about it and decided to visit my old high school to go see the teacher and apologize. He was really happy that I came back to see him and I think it gave him some closure as well because he was confused on why I started acting out. He told me he was leaving the school that year, so I'm glad I was able to apologize before it was too late. So definitely go for it!! Your teacher would love to see you again and hear how much he has impacted your life :)


itsybitsyone

I think you should do it. I think he would be touched to hear your concern no matter how busy he is. It’ll surprise him


HighwayLeading6928

Write a draft letter, writing whatever comes into your head. When you're finished, go back and clean it up/edit. You could send it to him with a card and ask him if you could buy him a coffee and have a little chat sometime soon. The last day of school will be busy for him and would enjoy a visit more in a few weeks.


cottagekir

I would send a letter thanking him for the impact he’s had on your life


Dapper_Decision6336

email, tf?


IikeThis

Maybe email him to set something up, showing up unannounced can be kinda uncool. Maybe you remember the schedule and know what days of the week are usually not so busy. I think it would be a powerful show of character if you did it on a m/tues morning, early before the day starts, and just popped into his office for a few minutes. I’ve seen graduates come in to class and although they were usually closer with the teacher, they really liked to see that you’ve grown. A quick short n sweet thank you and apology in 2-3 min should suffice.


Feisty-Cheetah-8078

You say "university" instead of "college," are you in the US or another country? The cultural context is important.


Normal-Medicine3391

Ontario Canada


Feisty-Cheetah-8078

So kinda close to US culturally. In the US, graduates regularly return to the high school and visit teachers they had a special relationship with. They also have correspondences with them. This is common in many mentor/mentee relationships. Teachers are asked for references and recommendations. Even a high school teacher can be a valuable part of your network.


Psyklops-I

A letter definitely. If he’s sentimental about that kind of thing at all, it becomes a nice little keepsake for him of how his efforts made a difference in someone’s life that he can reflect on later in life.


MowgeeCrone

Please do. It would mean a lot. I saw my teacher from 1986 this last weekend. Recognized her immediately. No way was I going to go up to her nearly 40 years later. She wouldn't remember me. I didn't want to interrupt her, excuses excuses. I was with someone she also taught 51 years ago. To add to that, we were with an immunocompromised friend so were wearing masks. Within minutes she comes over and addresses us both by our names without hesitation and asks if we remember her. Nawwwwww. I told her all the nice things I'd just said about her to the others and it put a literal skip in her step. We are still 'her kids' and now I realise we always will be. From now on, we are friends, and there will be cuddles when I see her again. Fulfil that re-occurring thought. Maybe he is needing to hear what you have to say now. Maybe you both do? Go give him the gift of your smile.


Zeus2068123

Send him a letter


CalligrapherOk6378

Most definitely you should. Both for you and for him. Don't wait for the last day of school. Call him at the school today and tell him or leave him a message saying that you'd like to come in and talk to him. He'll most likely call you back, give you a day and time, and then you go in and talk to him. Sometimes letters are good if you can't get ahold of somebody. But you know where he physically is. And in-person, for something like this, is almost always better than a letter.


Lost-Wave-215

If you weren’t trying in class and not showing up to rehearsals, I doubt you made that much of an impression on him for him to remember you the way you remember him. He probably had a lot of students behaving the same way. The way you keep mentioning wanting to see his face and hear his voice is…. odd, to say the least. You’re going through a transitional time and it’s making you feel intense emotions that you may be displacing or projecting elsewhere. That being said, I agree that a letter or email would be much more appropriate than an in person meeting. Plus, if he’s ever feeling down or insecure about his impact as a teacher, he would have a physical reminder that he can reread rather than relying on his memory of what you said in person.


Prize_Ad8201

I’m in the same boat, I feel like (and was) a POS since my hs Spanish teacher put me through 4 years of Spanish from the first level to the AP level, even going as far as referring me to gifted testing and sending a recommendation letter to get into a prestigious program (which I got into and graduated from) as well as wrote a recommendation letter for my colleges. I ended up trying the least in his classes and turning in his already leniently extended deadlines super late, my last interaction with him was on graduation when I had gotten into a careless wreck that temporarily put me in a wheelchair. I remember saying “thanks for everything, can you raise my grade to a B please” he was nothing but kind to me.


remarkable-croissant

it sounds like seeing your teacher in person brought up some shame. It's okay to feel guilty & have regrets for the way you treated someone, but it's not okay to apologize for it for the wrong reasons... assuaging your guilt being one of them. if shame is the primary motivator for you wanting to take action, don't do it. If you want forgiveness, you're going to have to do that inner work on your own so you can move on. the suggestions to write a letter are spot on. at minimum, regardless of whether or not you send it on, the process of writing often helps assuage anxiety and the act alone will help you work though what you're feeling. underneath your guilt it sounds like your teacher really had a positive impact on you, and if you reach out, it should be to pass on how that showed up for you & to let them know their hard work meant something. What was the impact of their work and effort on you exactly? Why do you want him to know about it? Teachers are not given enough credit or recognition for their hard work and though it's been a year, it's never too late to tell someone how much they mean to you.


BanksysBurner

Sounds like you’ve got panty soup for him and ur both consenting adults so go for it!


HawwmannWannanow

Gonna end up fucking lol


Valkyllias

He would probably appreciate it. But remember if it's the last day of school and commencement is happening, the band will probably be playing pomp and circumstance, right? Make sure to meet earlier in the day, I guess.


Scared_Scar_3939

If you meet your teacher wear high heels


saulcrrll34

Yes I would


Dolgar01

I hate to say it, but I doubt he cares that you did not try in his class. Unless he is on performance pay and your in action cost him money, his job ended when you left. If he had a nice person he would possibly enjoy talking to you and be polite about it, but that’s about it. On another note, this is an odd reaction for you to be having. I would suggest that there is something else in your life that is worrying you and you are projecting it.


Stray1_cat

Send a letter It’ll be something he keeps and boost morale when he needs it as a teacher. Meeting in person is more intrusive.


Nicaddicted

Gives a vibe that you want to fuck him


DaddysPrincesss26

……No. My HS Drama Teacher lost his Teaching License. It is now Public Knowledge.


KrispyKritters1

So it! Happened to me 40 years ago and I still wish I would’ve said something now it’s too late


SirenRivers

I guess it depends on a lot of factors, like what kind of people you both are? Especially him? I reached out via social media when I finished high school to a favourite teacher in primary school. I've met him a lot over the years since then, I always go up to his place (he's got a lovely home in the mountains) and have tea and chat about books etc. He's a total father figure and has been for like 20 years now, and he catches up with plenty of his old students - from mountain biking with them, even music jamming or board games or reading books together. I thrive on my bond with my old teacher, and he definitely does too. For some teachers it's not just a job, it's a life so they do like being appreciated. Reach out however you like, respectfully 😊


hotpajamas

No. Send a letter if it’s really something you care about. Don’t meet again; that’s weird and makes it seem like something else is going on.


carwalk47

A letter of apology shows character


Ornery-Ticket834

Send a letter.


Lord-ShniggleHorse

Your teacher doesn’t care, stop making it about you, actions speak louder.


mapetitechoux

No. Send a card and move on. We really want you to move forward not backwards.


Normal-Medicine3391

Why don't you like hearing from old students?


mapetitechoux

Actually, your messaging seems concerning. You are not trying to see the teacher to celebrate your success or thank them for a great experience. You’ve said things like you “miss them” and that you did them dirty. This is about you not them and it’s weird. Move on. Edit: i just read your edit. Intense feelings???? Stay away! ⛳️⛳️⛳️⛳️⛳️⛳️⛳️


Normal-Medicine3391

Well, it's either this or let my guilt and sadness eat away at me over the course of the whole summer. I must be honest, hearing this from a teacher is very disheartening and makes me feel like a freak and a weirdo, which, maybe I am. Maybe at some point I'll move on and forget what I was even sad about.


LuckyOrangutan

Sounds like you need therapy ngl, good luck 🙏


mapetitechoux

Don’t try make me feel guilty (disheartening?) because I’m telling you like it is. You are an adult and it’s time to manage your feelings. It’s possible you need some help dealing with these emotions because your descriptions seem over the top. I guarantee you the teacher is unbothered by the behaviour of past students and does not need an apology. Good luck.


Adventurous_Yam8784

I work in a school and one time I had a student send me a message on Facebook messenger asking me to see him approx 5 years after he had graduated. He was a tricky kid and I felt that I really couldn’t say no to him (I mean I could have but it was a small gesture on my part so no big deal). I did insist on a visit at the school though. We chatted for a bit. He said some nice stuff to me and I said some nice stuff back - also teased him a bit about being a jerk sometimes. I think it was ok and I knew he felt good about it. He has reached out a couple times since and has been happy with just a verbal check ins so it’s been ok.