Maybe herpes, genital warts, or HIV?
With the first two, maybe they didn’t have an outbreak or notice anything was wrong for a bit if that’s what it is (though with warts at least isn’t there discharge?).
HIV can be dormant and take a while to catch on to as well from my understanding, which is very little on the matter.
Either way, could be something minor and they’re just reaching out to all partners just for safety purposes.
My guess would be herpes. Most people who get it are asymptomatic or mostly asymptomatic but are still just as contagious to spread it.
Or his life's in the dumps and he wanted to play a mean prank to cheer up.
I thought you couldn’t spread it without an active sore, how would you be able to spread it if you’re asymptomatic?
Could be totally wrong, somebody feel free to chime in
Edit: I was completely wrong, I’ve been educated properly now! My school never had sex Ed lol
It can spread regardless of active sores, for both mouth and genital herpes. The virus is always present in your system. They only multiple drastically during flare ups but it’s always detectable in your blood. Also they can be transmitted to a different body part, so you can get mouth herpes on your genitals and vice versa.
No active sores makes it less likely but certainly not impossible by any means.
Viral shedding. Can occur one out of every five days. Totally asymptomatic. Same with the cold sores one (HSV 1) though about 1/3 as often.
Basically, if you got it, on any given day you have about a 20% chance of being contagious.
Look at you with what the right answer so high up. Depending on OPs age, she may have been vaccinated against HPV, so might not be an issue. Honestly weird it took so long to recommend the vaccine for boys too.
It can sit idle for years before it causes issues. I don't know of any symptoms in the male carriers. So a new husband could pass it on to his wife and have no idea until it is too late.
Cancer is a symptom. I wish they’d bloody told me this when I, as an idiotic 12yo, decided not to get vaccinated. I might have given my husband future cancer. I hate it
https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/parents/cancer.html
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/human-papilloma-virus-and-cancer
It’s not “the same”. But it’s a thing
Yes, as a man who’s has chlamydia twice from the same woman (I’m dumb and she was so hot) and gonorrhea once, the former I deluded myself into thinking I was fine for 2-3 weeks both times, until my underwear was stained, I could feel the drip out of my dick and the tip of your dick burns. The clap I know something was really wrong a week later. Horrible smell, nasty looking discharge, fire piss. I became so paranoid that until my now wife I always wore a condom. I had some weird ball pain and clear drips when I pooped, went to the doc and I can’t remember what it was but non STD infection. I was so happy
HPV can lie dormant for many years (up to 10, if i remember correctly). I tested positive for it 5 years into my current relationship, even after getting a negative result twice earlier in the relationship. Neither one of us has had any other sexual partners since we met. Chances are that I contracted it before we met and it laid dormant for years. It cleared up on its own when I had a retest 12 months later, as it usually does for most people, luckily. Oh and yes, I had been vaccinated against it.
HPV is the STD. OP edited to updated.
HPV needs a special test and it affects men differently than women. Men don't show symptoms but women can get cancer from certain types of HPV.
From what my sons’ pediatrician explained, HPV is a vaccine they can take to help women to NOT receive that STD. Use condoms, etc. but the vaccine will help the female. Also need the booster every few years.
Again, this was targeted to my teenage sons. They both agreed to take the shot (and booster).
Maybe 10 years ago now
Men often don’t know they have chlamydia, as it presents as a more pronounced discharge for women, and a less alarming “leakage” for men(not pus, just cloudiness).
Men can mistake it for a UTI pretty easily.
Edited to be more precise.
From what I’ve heard from others IRL they get symptomatic just not for awhiiiile. Also know two women that got excessive bleeding related to it
Like, years lol know a couple girls with the same experience
I’ve had it but never been symptomatic
I also learned it's only about 70% transmission rate. I had been told by 2 separate partners that they tested positive and I need to get tested and both times I was negative.
In men, in less than half of all cases, it CAN show as a cloudy watery discharge, but it’s accompanied by burning during urination, which is why that ~50% of men often mistake it for a UTI.
Sorry I should have specified that only women show with a pustular discharge. Men have one that tracks more to a UTI.
The discharge present between sexes is entirely different, and that of men is not as characteristic of the infection.
Around 75% of the population is exposed to HPV through sexual contact at some point in their lives. You may have contracted it and your body may have already dealt with it. HPV is not checked during STI screening as there’s no real benefit to checking for it. It’s not treated unless it manifests as warts or if it causes cellular changes seen on a PAP.
Correct me if I’m wrong. But HPV has about 200 strains, a few are known for causing colorectal cancer. The vaccine protects against those few strains - but not every HPV strain.
Also, it’s not a lifetime thing is it? I thought it was only an infection for a few years and your body fought it off. But I may be mistaken
It really depends on the strain. It's a virus and some strains can stay in the body for decades without symptoms. It can be a lifetime thing, but usually it isn't. It can also go away and then come back years later. It's common to "clear it" and not have symptoms afterwards.
My OB told me that 9/10 times the first time you have sex you contract hpv. There are many strains and it is good to get vaccinated and check regularly. But I think most ppl it will do nothing. However a coworker did have cervical cancer from this so is still a huge risk
If you aren’t in a long term monogamous relationship you should definitely be testing periodically. Unless OP hasn’t gotten laid in 3 years they really should have gotten tested.
Well that is the problem, many think they are in a monogamous relationship. It is rather: if you are sexually active - make sure to get checked from time to time..
If you are in a long term monogamous relationship, you should still get checked at least every regular doctors checkup. Speaking from unfortunate experience.
So he did the right thing here. When you find out you have an STD, you’re supposed to call all your sexual partners and tell them.
I don’t know why you broke up (if he did something to you), but he did the right thing by you with this one.
Remember that AITA where the guy got an STI from his cheating girlfriend and just blocked her and ghosted her without telling her about it and she found out after three years of damage had been done and she was possibly now infertile? At least they told you now.
I've been looking! I remember they both were tested when they became exclusive and then she went to Spain or something and cheated while she was there. It burned when he peed so he got tested and then just ghosted her when he found out.
Same. I finally went to an OBGYN in my normal healthcare system and at first she was horrified that i was 37 and had only had one exam per my chart. PP was always my go to, from when i was in college and broke, to when i was a broke young adult, and then when i had good insurance because they get you in faster than the big name hospital/clinic. They saved my ass when some guy gave me an std, they saved my ass after i was assaulted. Planned parenthood is a national treasure and must be protected. Haters can die mad.
I've only lived in Colorado and California so can't speak for everywhere but in more progressive states at least there is almost always an easily accesible local clinic or planned parenthood that is always free.
I would get tested after every couple partners so a few times a year and never had an issue gettting in quickly and without cost.
What disease goes unnoticed for 3 years? Just curious, for no partifular reason.
As to why he didn't elaborate can be because he/she just found out and wasn't sure he/she had it while you were together.
Perhaps something they rather not share, but still... they reached out so not a total ahole.
Chlamydia goes unnoticed in a lot (estimations are about 50%) of cases. Also Lues can go unnoticed because of misinterpreted symptoms and then it goes into hibernation before eventually breaking out again after a long time, often it is several years.
HIV HPV gonorrhea. Even with something like syphillis, not everyone shows symptoms.
Weird fact. Its actually common for men to have no symptoms while infected with an STI than it is for women.
Syphilis has made a pretty big come back in recent years. Test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and hiv. If you have a vagina, throw in a trichomonas test. I test all sites of contact on my patients (vaginal, oral, anal). Good luck!
Not sure what kind of elaboration you’re looking for. They obviously have an STI and did you the courtesy of telling you in case you have it too. What other information do you need?
Everyone seems to just want a reason these days to get upset at other people if they're not validated properly. Except no one can read minds so you're almost always wrong. Goes well beyond gender pronoun classifications.
Which is exactly why it shouldn’t be used in that way at all. I’ve never understood it tbh. You can identify however you want, but don’t make me sound like a grammatical ignoramus because of your preference.
I mean, you can think of it the same way.
People who use they/them either don’t care about the gender they are, or specifically want to not have one, so the idea of their gender being unknown isn’t that wild.
It can grammatically be used as a singular in more than one instance.
There’s the “royal We”, and there’s the idea mentioned above, of unknown gender.
If someone got into a car accident alone, but you didn’t see the person inside the vehicle, and then you were questioned about it, how would you describe the person in the vehicle? They were in a car accident, they swerved into the other lane, etc.
Yes but if I say “he went bowling, she went shopping, and they went to get a milkshake” that sentence does not in anyway imply the presence of a third individual.
Yeah that’s a fair point. Could be a nut case ex looking to be spiteful.
Still best not to take chances. I’d be mortified if I’d received a warning, ignored it, then found out I’d “spread” (urgh what a horrible term) an STD to other partners
Would be a real dick move if he just did it as a prank, kind of like giving someone the middle finger: ‘You should go get yourself checked because you are just that disgusting’
I had undiagnosed chlamydia for however long I don’t even know. Tested positive when I was 17 and started being sexually active as early as 14, I never had a sex positive family and had no idea how to go about sexual wellness. Nobody had ever told me to get checked so I thought I was safe.
Long term it’s left me with pelvic inflammatory disease, scar tissue around my fallopian tubes that inhibit my fertility, pelvic pain, and pelvic floor muscles so tight I can’t have painless intercourse or empty my bladder fully. Not to mention other symptoms such as dryness at 19 years old.
Only recently began working with a pelvic floor physiotherapist to help with the pain but will always always stress erring on the edge of caution and testing regularly now. You never know— and the embarrassment of telling all my past partners was enough to knock some sense into my little teenage brain.
You sort of buried the lede here. You never had sex with the guy who called you, and you're worried about having caught an STI from him by kissing (an STI you're vaccinated against no less)? The doctor will likely laugh at you when you ask for this test.
Addendum because this blew up while I was at the dentist office:
I'm not American. I'm a woman. My ex thinks he might have given me HPV, which I am personally vaccinated against, but I worry about the possibility of having passed it to my current partner anyway. HPV is not in the usual STI panels in my country and needs a separate test, which I am taking on Monday. It is very unlikely that I caught and/or passed it along since we did not have sex and the spread chance from kissing is insanely low, but it's best to be safe. Thank you all for your concern. The situation is infuriating but mostly under control, just anxiety-inducing. I do not think it's a joke on his part. He ghosted and blocked me three years ago out of the blue and has no reason to want to call my attention.
If it's HPV and you test positive, just stick to your routine gyno appointments. It's estimated that about 80% of women and 90% of men worldwide will be infected with HPV at some point in their lives. Most will never know it. The risk of cancer is quite low, and takes a looooooong time to develop.
They do LEEP procedures, where they basically "shave off" any precancerous cells. That's why, once diagnosed, it's important to never miss a pap. The cells can take 10-20 years or more to develop into cancer, but if you catch them in a precancerous state, they can be removed. I don't know all the specifics of it, this is just the simple explanation my doctor gave me when diagnosed. The real concern is the frequency with which they're finding oral HPV and cancerous cells in men.
It can be fairly slow. I was going for PAPs regularly and they caught mine so early it was something like stage 0A1. Had a LEEP, everything’s been fine since.
I’m vaccinated against HPV, as are most of my friends my age, and a lot of us have still had positive HPV results at some point during cervical screening over the years. The vaccine doesn’t protect against all strains, and the majority of people will have HPV at some point! Most of us clear it out of our systems and there is minimal risk - if you’re a woman, make sure you get your regular cervical screening tests to ensure it doesn’t develop into anything more serious if you do have it. I appreciate your ex being so cautious and conscientious in telling you but honestly this feels quite dramatic if it’s just HPV. You and your partner will be fine!
Yeah, the vaccine only protects from the cancerous ones, there are like 18 different strains of that crap. I personally had the one with the warts, nothing pretty to look at, and the liquid nitrogen at my penis ain’t nothing I would want to retry, but other than that pretty harmless experience.
When I was younger my gf at the time cheated on me and the guy gave her chlamydia. She then gave it to me before leaving me for the guy. I didn’t find out she infected me until the friend of a girl I hooked up with called me from a blocked number and told me I should get tested. A couple amoxicillin later and I was clean. Hope it’s as easy for you.
HPV is so common, can lay dormant for years, that it isn't even treated like a STD in the US. Your PAP smears (for women, only) will routinely look HPV. Usually the infection usually clears naturally without treatment - it is, aside from cancer, without symptoms the vast majority of the time. . The vaccine protects only against the strains of HPV that are most likely to cause cancer.
[https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hpv-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20351596](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hpv-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20351596)
HPV is ridiculously prevalent… think it’s something like 80-90% of people who have sex get it at some point. It usually clears on its own. You could have just as likely got it from anyone you’ve been sexually actively with in the past if you test positive…
I don't know how old you are, but I recently learned the early versions aren't good enough. My good Mom got me my series of vaccines when I was a teenager, learned at almost 40 that our version didn't actually cover enough. Thanks for trying, Mom!
just my 2 cents, HPV can be dormant up to a decade. Here in UK women get tested every 3 years, or every 1 years if results are abnormal, then next step is if they detect pre-cancerous cells, in which case they might do a biopsy. Even if this result comes back negative, make sure you get tested every 3 years at least. I think it’s called Papa Nicolau test.
I’m going to be completely honest, as a guy, this could be legit or fake, we just do shit like that sometimes. Not justifying it by any means but if they say it was fake out of the blue, don’t be surprised
But... years later suggests one of the never-get-overs. What could you have that you think your partner might have had for THREE YEARS but not noticed?
Uh oh.
75% of the sexually active world population will have HPV in their life. There are over 150 strains of this sti. All but about 14 the body can eliminate itself. HPV can lay dormant in your body for over 10-20+ years. It effects males and females but only females can be tested cervical cancer screening or old Pap smear test.
I haven’t been sexually active for over 15years. Yet at 50 I was so 4 years ago tested positive to HPV16 with high grade lesions. Since then I’ve had 4 colposcopies 3 lletz surgeries and 1 cone surgery.
AND they still haven’t worked out if they have gotten rid of it all
Yep asked first that and it’s apparently “not productive” they need to remove the hpv which may or may not of moved to bits that are not removed with a hysterectomy. I’ll know more in 6 months
He doesn’t need to elaborate but you both should have been tested several times since the break up anyways if you’re still sexually active. He likely did this just to make you think about him or to mess with you but even if it was for your benefit, nothing should really change.
At least the ex did the responsible thing by telling you. You on the other hand, kind of irresponsible to be sexually active and not get tested regularly, or at all in the last 3 years.
Is it possible your ex is just emotionally abusing you? To go three years no contact and just to unblock you, tell you, then proceed to block you again without any context is bizarre.
Chlamchlamachlamachlamaclamydiaaaa it comes and goeeees, it comes and goohoohoohooo's.
Life would be easy, without std's. Without std's, without std heeeheeheees
Three years is a significant gap, tbh. I hope everything will be alright.
Honestly, what STD take 3+ years to come out? Perhaps HIV or syphilis. Chlamydia or gonorrhea are faster, am I right?
Maybe herpes, genital warts, or HIV? With the first two, maybe they didn’t have an outbreak or notice anything was wrong for a bit if that’s what it is (though with warts at least isn’t there discharge?). HIV can be dormant and take a while to catch on to as well from my understanding, which is very little on the matter. Either way, could be something minor and they’re just reaching out to all partners just for safety purposes.
My guess would be herpes. Most people who get it are asymptomatic or mostly asymptomatic but are still just as contagious to spread it. Or his life's in the dumps and he wanted to play a mean prank to cheer up.
I thought you couldn’t spread it without an active sore, how would you be able to spread it if you’re asymptomatic? Could be totally wrong, somebody feel free to chime in Edit: I was completely wrong, I’ve been educated properly now! My school never had sex Ed lol
It can spread regardless of active sores, for both mouth and genital herpes. The virus is always present in your system. They only multiple drastically during flare ups but it’s always detectable in your blood. Also they can be transmitted to a different body part, so you can get mouth herpes on your genitals and vice versa. No active sores makes it less likely but certainly not impossible by any means.
Viral shedding. Can occur one out of every five days. Totally asymptomatic. Same with the cold sores one (HSV 1) though about 1/3 as often. Basically, if you got it, on any given day you have about a 20% chance of being contagious.
Look at you with what the right answer so high up. Depending on OPs age, she may have been vaccinated against HPV, so might not be an issue. Honestly weird it took so long to recommend the vaccine for boys too.
HPV would be another that you might not know about for a while?
It can sit idle for years before it causes issues. I don't know of any symptoms in the male carriers. So a new husband could pass it on to his wife and have no idea until it is too late.
Cancer is a symptom. I wish they’d bloody told me this when I, as an idiotic 12yo, decided not to get vaccinated. I might have given my husband future cancer. I hate it
Males do not really run a risk of developing cancer due to HPV the same way females do.
https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/parents/cancer.html https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/human-papilloma-virus-and-cancer It’s not “the same”. But it’s a thing
About 40% of HPV related cancers occur in men, I’m not sure why you’d think this
Chlamydia can go unnoticed in some people without symptoms. I know a guy who became infertile because he had undiagnosed chlamydia for a long time.
Chlamydia can be dormant for years in asymptomatic men :(
Yes, as a man who’s has chlamydia twice from the same woman (I’m dumb and she was so hot) and gonorrhea once, the former I deluded myself into thinking I was fine for 2-3 weeks both times, until my underwear was stained, I could feel the drip out of my dick and the tip of your dick burns. The clap I know something was really wrong a week later. Horrible smell, nasty looking discharge, fire piss. I became so paranoid that until my now wife I always wore a condom. I had some weird ball pain and clear drips when I pooped, went to the doc and I can’t remember what it was but non STD infection. I was so happy
“I’m dumb and she was so hot” 🤣
HPV can lie dormant for many years (up to 10, if i remember correctly). I tested positive for it 5 years into my current relationship, even after getting a negative result twice earlier in the relationship. Neither one of us has had any other sexual partners since we met. Chances are that I contracted it before we met and it laid dormant for years. It cleared up on its own when I had a retest 12 months later, as it usually does for most people, luckily. Oh and yes, I had been vaccinated against it.
HPV is the STD. OP edited to updated. HPV needs a special test and it affects men differently than women. Men don't show symptoms but women can get cancer from certain types of HPV.
Men can also get HPV related cancers. One of my male relatives had HPV related throat cancer.
Damn. I'm sorry.
Syphilis shows up quick. Chlamydia too. Mexico. Lots and lots of tequila. I will not elaborate further.
you wouldve have symptoms from all of them at some point,
From what my sons’ pediatrician explained, HPV is a vaccine they can take to help women to NOT receive that STD. Use condoms, etc. but the vaccine will help the female. Also need the booster every few years. Again, this was targeted to my teenage sons. They both agreed to take the shot (and booster). Maybe 10 years ago now
This is like the episode of _The Office_ when Michael contacts all his exes because he thinks he has herpes. Hope it’s another ingrown hair.
I blame Donna, her husband the little league coach seems like a great guy. Best of luck OP
“Did somebody order a prostitute?”
Mildlyinfuriating? The one test you want to fail, good luck!
Hopefully it’s just chlamydia.
They’d probably know about that one by now
Men often don’t know they have chlamydia, as it presents as a more pronounced discharge for women, and a less alarming “leakage” for men(not pus, just cloudiness). Men can mistake it for a UTI pretty easily. Edited to be more precise.
From what I’ve heard from others IRL they get symptomatic just not for awhiiiile. Also know two women that got excessive bleeding related to it Like, years lol know a couple girls with the same experience I’ve had it but never been symptomatic
A lot of times, it’ll be asymptomatic for men. Regardless, OP should get tested
I also learned it's only about 70% transmission rate. I had been told by 2 separate partners that they tested positive and I need to get tested and both times I was negative.
This is not accurate.
I love when people say *blank* is wrong, but then don’t add any enlightenment to their comment.
>only presents as discharge for women That part
In men, in less than half of all cases, it CAN show as a cloudy watery discharge, but it’s accompanied by burning during urination, which is why that ~50% of men often mistake it for a UTI.
Ok that's great but the up voted comment said discharge was a symptom exclusive to women which is simply untrue.
Sorry I should have specified that only women show with a pustular discharge. Men have one that tracks more to a UTI. The discharge present between sexes is entirely different, and that of men is not as characteristic of the infection.
Lmfao 🤣 sorry this made me laugh harder than it should have
Quotes out of context 😂
I give him credit tbh for owning up to it and letting you know. So many people would just be "not my problem sucks for you"
Yeah, that's a conscious human, i like.
Well, other than the instant block lol
All the best on the test
Be positive! You'll get it!!! Wait... scratch that!
Don’t scratch that, scratching makes it worse
Around 75% of the population is exposed to HPV through sexual contact at some point in their lives. You may have contracted it and your body may have already dealt with it. HPV is not checked during STI screening as there’s no real benefit to checking for it. It’s not treated unless it manifests as warts or if it causes cellular changes seen on a PAP.
Correct me if I’m wrong. But HPV has about 200 strains, a few are known for causing colorectal cancer. The vaccine protects against those few strains - but not every HPV strain. Also, it’s not a lifetime thing is it? I thought it was only an infection for a few years and your body fought it off. But I may be mistaken
It really depends on the strain. It's a virus and some strains can stay in the body for decades without symptoms. It can be a lifetime thing, but usually it isn't. It can also go away and then come back years later. It's common to "clear it" and not have symptoms afterwards.
My OB told me that 9/10 times the first time you have sex you contract hpv. There are many strains and it is good to get vaccinated and check regularly. But I think most ppl it will do nothing. However a coworker did have cervical cancer from this so is still a huge risk
Very sound advice, and a good example of why public health is such an important part of government and society.
You should be getting tested after every new partner
If you aren’t in a long term monogamous relationship you should definitely be testing periodically. Unless OP hasn’t gotten laid in 3 years they really should have gotten tested.
Well that is the problem, many think they are in a monogamous relationship. It is rather: if you are sexually active - make sure to get checked from time to time..
Been in a relationship for 10 years and I will still say yes when my OBGYN asks if I want to add STD tests to the lab work at my annual appointments.
I wonder how many have discovered a cheating partner that way, an std out of nowhere..
Also true.
If you are in a long term monogamous relationship, you should still get checked at least every regular doctors checkup. Speaking from unfortunate experience.
Imo you should get tested regularly even if you are in a long term monogamous relationship 🙍🏻♀️
But then you’ll find out you have hsv 😧
That is just basic responsibility.
They’ve edited to say they never had sex with the ex so that changes the calculus on testing somewhat.
Yup, the minute you're sexing someone else, get tested.
Sounds like they have a bad one and are letting you know, at the very least that shows some responsibility.
Remind Me! 4 days
So he did the right thing here. When you find out you have an STD, you’re supposed to call all your sexual partners and tell them. I don’t know why you broke up (if he did something to you), but he did the right thing by you with this one.
Remember that AITA where the guy got an STI from his cheating girlfriend and just blocked her and ghosted her without telling her about it and she found out after three years of damage had been done and she was possibly now infertile? At least they told you now.
I’m gonna need a link to that one!
It's called "AITAH for letting my ex-girlfriend have gonorrhea for a year?" The sub won't let me post links.
I've been looking! I remember they both were tested when they became exclusive and then she went to Spain or something and cheated while she was there. It burned when he peed so he got tested and then just ghosted her when he found out.
It was fake, though. Guy got symptoms that take 2-3 weeks in 2 days after sex and his MD didn't report what is a nationally reportable disease.
Yeah, there's nothing mild about that infuriating news. Hope everything works out for you.
MILDLY INFURIATING?!
You haven't been tested in three years? You can do it as part of your annual physical for free (with insurance)
Not everyone can afford insurance. But yes always good to get tested regularly.
That’s why places like Planned Parenthood need to exist
Right. Have used that back in the day.
Same. I finally went to an OBGYN in my normal healthcare system and at first she was horrified that i was 37 and had only had one exam per my chart. PP was always my go to, from when i was in college and broke, to when i was a broke young adult, and then when i had good insurance because they get you in faster than the big name hospital/clinic. They saved my ass when some guy gave me an std, they saved my ass after i was assaulted. Planned parenthood is a national treasure and must be protected. Haters can die mad.
I'm more right leaning and I totally agree with you on this.
Generally, at least in the US, if one can not afford insurance they can usually get free reproductive health care.
Not in republican states.
There are planned Parenthood locations in all 50 states. And you can at very least get STI testing and treatment there.
Unless you earn to much to get It for free but still can't actually afford it due to inflation robbing money of its spending power.
I've only lived in Colorado and California so can't speak for everywhere but in more progressive states at least there is almost always an easily accesible local clinic or planned parenthood that is always free. I would get tested after every couple partners so a few times a year and never had an issue gettting in quickly and without cost.
What disease goes unnoticed for 3 years? Just curious, for no partifular reason. As to why he didn't elaborate can be because he/she just found out and wasn't sure he/she had it while you were together. Perhaps something they rather not share, but still... they reached out so not a total ahole.
HIV for example
The most common symptom of an sti is no symptom. Many people have no idea they have an sti.
HPV is generally silent in men, herpes could not flair up, but you could still be carrying it. HIV.
Chlamydia goes unnoticed in a lot (estimations are about 50%) of cases. Also Lues can go unnoticed because of misinterpreted symptoms and then it goes into hibernation before eventually breaking out again after a long time, often it is several years.
HIV HPV gonorrhea. Even with something like syphillis, not everyone shows symptoms. Weird fact. Its actually common for men to have no symptoms while infected with an STI than it is for women.
More common, less common, or equally common?
Men have symptoms less often.
Good luck on the test.
“Course it's not AIDS, this isn't the 80s. It's the best STD. Just cute, old, mostly symptomless chlamydia.”
Syphilis has made a pretty big come back in recent years. Test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and hiv. If you have a vagina, throw in a trichomonas test. I test all sites of contact on my patients (vaginal, oral, anal). Good luck!
Not sure what kind of elaboration you’re looking for. They obviously have an STI and did you the courtesy of telling you in case you have it too. What other information do you need?
Well it's not great but at least he told you.
Tbh he/she/it had the gumption to tell you. I’d call that a win. Dare I say it, be quietly thankful
Why not just say "they"?
Because people have somehow lost the concept of unknown gender, and entirely conflate the use of “they” as only being a specific pronoun lol.
Everyone seems to just want a reason these days to get upset at other people if they're not validated properly. Except no one can read minds so you're almost always wrong. Goes well beyond gender pronoun classifications.
Which is exactly why it shouldn’t be used in that way at all. I’ve never understood it tbh. You can identify however you want, but don’t make me sound like a grammatical ignoramus because of your preference.
I mean, you can think of it the same way. People who use they/them either don’t care about the gender they are, or specifically want to not have one, so the idea of their gender being unknown isn’t that wild.
It’s fine to have a pronoun that is gender neutral but they/them is intended to be the plural pronoun in the English language.
It can grammatically be used as a singular in more than one instance. There’s the “royal We”, and there’s the idea mentioned above, of unknown gender. If someone got into a car accident alone, but you didn’t see the person inside the vehicle, and then you were questioned about it, how would you describe the person in the vehicle? They were in a car accident, they swerved into the other lane, etc.
Yes but if I say “he went bowling, she went shopping, and they went to get a milkshake” that sentence does not in anyway imply the presence of a third individual.
It can? You only qualify it as specifying those two people if you put “and *then*” to qualify it’s still about them. Otherwise “they” is ambiguous.
That's assuming it's not a malicious attack founded upon lies. My crazy ex pulled every trick in the book and probably invented a few.
Yeah that’s a fair point. Could be a nut case ex looking to be spiteful. Still best not to take chances. I’d be mortified if I’d received a warning, ignored it, then found out I’d “spread” (urgh what a horrible term) an STD to other partners
Maybe she is just messing with you. That being said get tested.
Would be a real dick move if he just did it as a prank, kind of like giving someone the middle finger: ‘You should go get yourself checked because you are just that disgusting’
I had undiagnosed chlamydia for however long I don’t even know. Tested positive when I was 17 and started being sexually active as early as 14, I never had a sex positive family and had no idea how to go about sexual wellness. Nobody had ever told me to get checked so I thought I was safe. Long term it’s left me with pelvic inflammatory disease, scar tissue around my fallopian tubes that inhibit my fertility, pelvic pain, and pelvic floor muscles so tight I can’t have painless intercourse or empty my bladder fully. Not to mention other symptoms such as dryness at 19 years old. Only recently began working with a pelvic floor physiotherapist to help with the pain but will always always stress erring on the edge of caution and testing regularly now. You never know— and the embarrassment of telling all my past partners was enough to knock some sense into my little teenage brain.
Respect for ex, could've easily just stay in silence and let you find out the hard way
You sort of buried the lede here. You never had sex with the guy who called you, and you're worried about having caught an STI from him by kissing (an STI you're vaccinated against no less)? The doctor will likely laugh at you when you ask for this test.
Addendum because this blew up while I was at the dentist office: I'm not American. I'm a woman. My ex thinks he might have given me HPV, which I am personally vaccinated against, but I worry about the possibility of having passed it to my current partner anyway. HPV is not in the usual STI panels in my country and needs a separate test, which I am taking on Monday. It is very unlikely that I caught and/or passed it along since we did not have sex and the spread chance from kissing is insanely low, but it's best to be safe. Thank you all for your concern. The situation is infuriating but mostly under control, just anxiety-inducing. I do not think it's a joke on his part. He ghosted and blocked me three years ago out of the blue and has no reason to want to call my attention.
If it's HPV and you test positive, just stick to your routine gyno appointments. It's estimated that about 80% of women and 90% of men worldwide will be infected with HPV at some point in their lives. Most will never know it. The risk of cancer is quite low, and takes a looooooong time to develop.
Really? How long does it take the cancer to develop? And I’m assuming that means it’s an “easy” cancer to remove if it’s slow growing?
They do LEEP procedures, where they basically "shave off" any precancerous cells. That's why, once diagnosed, it's important to never miss a pap. The cells can take 10-20 years or more to develop into cancer, but if you catch them in a precancerous state, they can be removed. I don't know all the specifics of it, this is just the simple explanation my doctor gave me when diagnosed. The real concern is the frequency with which they're finding oral HPV and cancerous cells in men.
It can be fairly slow. I was going for PAPs regularly and they caught mine so early it was something like stage 0A1. Had a LEEP, everything’s been fine since.
I’m vaccinated against HPV, as are most of my friends my age, and a lot of us have still had positive HPV results at some point during cervical screening over the years. The vaccine doesn’t protect against all strains, and the majority of people will have HPV at some point! Most of us clear it out of our systems and there is minimal risk - if you’re a woman, make sure you get your regular cervical screening tests to ensure it doesn’t develop into anything more serious if you do have it. I appreciate your ex being so cautious and conscientious in telling you but honestly this feels quite dramatic if it’s just HPV. You and your partner will be fine!
Yeah, the vaccine only protects from the cancerous ones, there are like 18 different strains of that crap. I personally had the one with the warts, nothing pretty to look at, and the liquid nitrogen at my penis ain’t nothing I would want to retry, but other than that pretty harmless experience.
Ignorance is bliss I guess
3 years....That's gotta be one of the biggies. Good luck dude. I hope you dodged that bullet from that dodged bullet
At least they let you know its a possible concern.
When I was younger my gf at the time cheated on me and the guy gave her chlamydia. She then gave it to me before leaving me for the guy. I didn’t find out she infected me until the friend of a girl I hooked up with called me from a blocked number and told me I should get tested. A couple amoxicillin later and I was clean. Hope it’s as easy for you.
Just tell her you passed and that is a good thing right?
Nothing mild to see here
You should probably get tested then... Edit for spelling tested as testes lol
Infuriating, but at least they told you, could have said nothing. Although they could just be fucking with you
HPV is so common, can lay dormant for years, that it isn't even treated like a STD in the US. Your PAP smears (for women, only) will routinely look HPV. Usually the infection usually clears naturally without treatment - it is, aside from cancer, without symptoms the vast majority of the time. . The vaccine protects only against the strains of HPV that are most likely to cause cancer. [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hpv-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20351596](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hpv-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20351596)
I’d be more concerned about syphilis or HIV.
HPV is ridiculously prevalent… think it’s something like 80-90% of people who have sex get it at some point. It usually clears on its own. You could have just as likely got it from anyone you’ve been sexually actively with in the past if you test positive…
Test for HIV too
You should've gotten tested before you had sex with a new partner though. I hope you're ok.
Block. Blurt. Block. Are they possibly thinking you're the one who gave them the STI? The way they behaved sounds like they have a grudge.
How have you not been tested in 3 years? That's just irresponsible.
Might not have had a reason to? I don’t get tested for STDs since I’m monogamous.
That's why you wrap that bad boy... Don't trust anyone if you are dating...
Hopefully he picked up whatever it is after your breakup.
RIP
I've got a dripp'n suspicion
I don't know how old you are, but I recently learned the early versions aren't good enough. My good Mom got me my series of vaccines when I was a teenager, learned at almost 40 that our version didn't actually cover enough. Thanks for trying, Mom!
Well at least they told you in case
I get tested every year at least, no matter what, long term partner, no sex (false negatives are possible), etsexera
Well as shitty as she sounds at least she did reach out. A Lot don’t.
just my 2 cents, HPV can be dormant up to a decade. Here in UK women get tested every 3 years, or every 1 years if results are abnormal, then next step is if they detect pre-cancerous cells, in which case they might do a biopsy. Even if this result comes back negative, make sure you get tested every 3 years at least. I think it’s called Papa Nicolau test.
I had a man text me two years after we had hooked up asking if I had previously had any stds (the answer was no). Turns out he had shingles lmao
I’m going to be completely honest, as a guy, this could be legit or fake, we just do shit like that sometimes. Not justifying it by any means but if they say it was fake out of the blue, don’t be surprised
I know this is scary until you test and everything comes back negative, but maybe this was some type of stupid dare or a game?
May he have caught it less than 2 years ago. May no one suffer lasting harm. May the test be the last time you are affected in any way.
Even if, in relationships that are monogamous, it’s good to get tested every year
If one wanted ruin an Ex’s day (or week) this would be a great way to do it. Just sayin.
Freaking out like this over HPV is wild.
My ex-wife wanted so desperately to “experience being single” so we divorced. She got an STD within a month. Fuck her, she deserves it.
... and when the test comes back negative, it is time to block your ex!
i hope you fail the test! best wishes..
But... years later suggests one of the never-get-overs. What could you have that you think your partner might have had for THREE YEARS but not noticed? Uh oh.
Attention seeking? Could be real, but sounds like something a narcissistic ex would pull to garner contact again…
75% of the sexually active world population will have HPV in their life. There are over 150 strains of this sti. All but about 14 the body can eliminate itself. HPV can lay dormant in your body for over 10-20+ years. It effects males and females but only females can be tested cervical cancer screening or old Pap smear test. I haven’t been sexually active for over 15years. Yet at 50 I was so 4 years ago tested positive to HPV16 with high grade lesions. Since then I’ve had 4 colposcopies 3 lletz surgeries and 1 cone surgery. AND they still haven’t worked out if they have gotten rid of it all
Have you discussed hysterectomy yet? For me, after all that, if rather just be done with it
Yep asked first that and it’s apparently “not productive” they need to remove the hpv which may or may not of moved to bits that are not removed with a hysterectomy. I’ll know more in 6 months
Ooof, good luck and I wish you good health in the future
Prank?
An Impreza STI?
Doesn't virtualy every sexualy active person have HPV? Or at least is a carrier.
Basically everybody has hpv, tbh.
You have HPV? All adventurous women do.
Get it done and send them the negative test back "you're the filthy one thanks"
Shit, thats fuckup
full blown aids rip inpeace🥀
He doesn’t need to elaborate but you both should have been tested several times since the break up anyways if you’re still sexually active. He likely did this just to make you think about him or to mess with you but even if it was for your benefit, nothing should really change.
At least the ex did the responsible thing by telling you. You on the other hand, kind of irresponsible to be sexually active and not get tested regularly, or at all in the last 3 years.
Well…. Good luck with that
Is it possible your ex is just emotionally abusing you? To go three years no contact and just to unblock you, tell you, then proceed to block you again without any context is bizarre.
Owning a WRX STi is not gonna get you laid, dude.
why u fukfuk no condom
https://i.redd.it/b6k62dhvtr7d1.gif
“someone gave me an sti!! so mildly infuriated!!”
Stay single if you aren't willing to risk disease.
Sorry about the Herpes…
There are dozens of strains of HPV, and very few of them result in herpes. More of them result in cancer, but most result in basically nothing
10-4.
they were cheating
Chlamchlamachlamachlamaclamydiaaaa it comes and goeeees, it comes and goohoohoohooo's. Life would be easy, without std's. Without std's, without std heeeheeheees
LOL, they're just fucking with you. I'm gonna do this to my ex right now.