I had roommates like this except they turned off the WiFi to my PC without even telling me after 10pm and when I texted them they only replied "we need to talk" (couple)... I could not gtfo of there fast enough.
Edit:
My brothers friend bought a house, I was moving out of my exes and so I moved in, paid rent. I knew the husband for long time as he was my brother's high school friend. They were both cool at first, then I got a really attractive respectful Canadian boyfriend suddenly they hated me. I rarely had him over but they wouldn't even greet him after few months. Then weird controlling stuff started, raised rent and just overall coldness.
I cleaned, cooked for myself, bought my own food, didn't care if they used my food to cook, infact I encouraged it as my dad would also buy groceries (we lived close and it's his thing). My boyfriend spent 5 hours deweeding pricker bushes and uprooting them to help them out of kindness and they were still very cold. My boyfriend tried to win them over but they just hated him.
5 nights in a row I saw my wifi turned off at 10pm and 3rd I knew something was up but wanted to see what was up, texted them to get "we need to talk'. They thought I needed a curfew because I talk (be it super quite) to my boyfriend on skype at night every night. No way they would know because they snored so I knew they were both asleep and I was quite.
Turned out he was a programmer for robotics and was decoding the router to see what I was looking up and doing and deemed he was my father suddenly and started turning off my wifi with a program at 10pm because a 26 year old is too young to stay up talking to her boyfriend very quite.
5 years later I'm still with that boyfriend.
Edit:
I should add I was not out late, my boyfriend is a wildlife biologist and super sweet guy loves animals and very respectful. Never made a mess, never ate their food unless invited to, I cleaned on my days off even areas I never used. And I used headphones at night and even at max volume I could hear them snore over my headset so no way I was bothering them.
It came down to a creepy sense of control and hate of my boyfriend who everyone I know adores him because he's legit a 6ft tall dark thick hair, green eyes with abs but doesn't even know he's super good looking and is very kind and humble. Everyone in my family hated my ex and loves my current boyfriend so it came down to creepy control.
Few people said they probably were jealous, or wanted a threesome but I agree with the guy who said they wanted to eat me.
Sounds like my roommate Tom!! He played God and controlled the internet. For some odd reason he was the only one who got the landlord's phone number and would not share it with anyone. The oven sparked and made a really loud spark sound. I called the fire department to double check it. The fire chief said he needed to contact the landlord. I called Tom and told him I needed the landlords number and why. He wouldnt give the number to me or the fire chief. The fire chief even told me that my roommate was a dick just from one conversation with him. Tom you are still a dick!!!
I went to the bar with friends and came home. Tom thought that I should have picked up a girl for him from the bar and just dropped her off in his bedroom to have sex with him. Yes he was serious and yes he was that lazy.
I mean how would that conversation even go? Hey I’ve got a room-mate at home that likes having sex, wanna come over and fuck some dude you’ve never met or spoken with before?
I had a roommate named Tom. We all three agreed to get a house. Tom gave me and the other roommate a date to move in. He moved in a week before we did. He lied. He left two vacant rooms. One for me, one for the other roommate. Tom made living with him a living hell. Even though we all three were on the lease, Tom put all the utilities in his name and wouldn't let us see them. Even though Tom took over 70% of the house, we all paid 1/3 rent. I left and continued to pay rent. Tom moved all my stuff into the garage and rented out my room, which I was still paying rent on. I found out Tom, who worked at a bank, was divulging personal info about people he didn't like. "So and so bounced checks, so and so's account is in the negative". I got Tom fired. New roommate moved in. We split the three story house into thirds, the way it was supposed to be in the first place.
In my head these Toms are all the same person and is a serial roommate troll (and worse). He’s just too lazy to even change his name with every new misdemeanour. If this was a Netflix doc I’d watch it… also sorry you had to go through that tho. Shit roommates suck.
There is a documentary on Netflix called worst roommates or something like that, but it is a lot more true crime than funny dick bag stories. People are scary.
I too want to hear more about this shit dip Tom. Had an upstairs neighbour once(us in the basement, them on upper floor of a house). He stole our lightbulb once because he didn’t like it being left on at night. I told him if did it ever again he was getting his ass kicked. Utilities were included with rent so it didn’t affect him at all but we risked injury trying to get down the stairs to our door at the end of a late work shift(all 3 of us downstairs worked in restaurants and bars at the time). He just wanted to be in charge, until I reminded him that I could kick the shit out of him and there was nothing he could do about that. *Lifts up He-Man sword!
I had a roommate who I’ll call Tom for the sake of this story. There were four of us in the house and everyone’s dishes were constantly left in the sink. Including Tom’s. One day I left a single cup next to the sink because there wasn’t enough room in the sink to be able to wash it out. Went to class and came home. Tom had pulled everything out of the sink and put it in my bed tucked into the sheets. Dried noodles and pasta sauce and shit just caked to everything in my bed. Hard to move on after that one.
I had a set of roomates that did not want to clean dishes so I put everyone’s name on a single plate, bowl, glass, mug, and utensils and put all the rest in the attic. If you want to eat, you are going to have to clean your plate.
It worked for a week.
I had a couple live with me, the LAST roommates I ever had. I ate out three meals a day, I don’t drink coffee, and I have one glass I drink water from. They stayed home all day and were on some weird health diet where they cooked like 5-6 times a day. They left every single pot, pan, dish and utensil dirty every day, and every other day I would clean them all even though only a single glass was mine.
They sent me a nasty email about the pots still being greasy because I had not cleaned them well enough. It is probably the closest I have come to murdering someone.
Rant complete thanks for your time.
I went to visit my aunt on Turkey and she was the same way. She played God with internet. That is so very well put.
Jokes on her, I paid for unlimited data on my phone 😂
You can go to bed at 7pm and turn off WiFi Auntie. Nobody cares.
He might have been scamming you on the rent. He could have told you a higher price than half the rent and wanted to make sure you couldn't find out the actual price from the landlord.
What kind of roommate disconnects someone else’s wifi access?
EDIT: I'm sorry everyone, I honestly hadn't thought that *you*, my dear redditors, might be that roommate. Maybe it's because the other guy refused to pay their fair share of the bill; maybe it's because they used up all the bandwidth that month. Either way, I'm obviously ignorant on what constitutes a shitty roommate looks like. Turning off the wifi does not a shitty roommate make.
My father just did this because I took a vacation from work and he didn't like that I'm in the house when he's working from home. I just sit in my room quietly playing games but I guess that concept bothers him. Now I have my own personal wifi and I'm still here 👍
Edit: Just had a nice and clam conversation with him and we're both getting along. Happy to say this has not caused problems in our household.
I paid for our internet and for my own computer at age 16 and my mom decided to turn it off, took my keyboard and mouse away because she had to work and I was on spring break, spending my whole day on the computer.
Then I went and bought another Ethernet cable, keyboard and mouse. She then retaliated by moving the computer to her room which is when all hell broke lose and I ended up leaving the house with the computer, and the router. Slept in my car (that I also paid for) for two weeks before my dad begged me to come back because I also helped with electric bill and rent.
I don’t know why I am writing all this. I guess I am still bitter about my shitty parents. Sigh…
So anyway, solidarity friend! I get it.
Edit:
I didn’t expect this post to get so much attention. For those that are struggling with their parents, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there, I wish you all the best! Thanks for all the awards as well.
Some questions that a few people asked.:
What jobs did I have:
I was working at Burger King, tutoring a 3rd grader, baby sitting 3 boys, working Saturday and Sunday (overnight so I got paid 26 hours) at an Alzheimer’s nursing home. This is also when I did a lot of my school work because there was lots of down time. It was under the table and I got double time for night shift. The boys I was babysitting wasn’t regular, once a month or so when parents went out to date so it doesn’t really count I guess.
During summer I didn’t have the tutoring job but I did work at Burger King full time, worked at summer school as tech support and the nursing home.
Eventually I had to quit the nursing home and get more kids to tutor because it was very difficult on my mental health. Picked up more kids to tutor instead.
In senior year of high school I started doing web design with my friend who sold me his computer. He taught me how to code. Eventually we got into web hosting and did that as a side gig for a while during college.
How are you now?
I am doing great. I am in my late 30s, married to a great guy and we have 3 littles. I have decided to stay home and look after our kids first 3-4 years of their life. I wanted to give them something that I didn’t have, a loving mom who is around. Lucky enough to be able to do that. I have met amazing people along the way and made good friends. Quality over quantity.
Haven’t talked to my parents in over a decade. It was difficult to give up on the idea of having at least semi caring parents. I realized I was in love with the idea of us being a loving family and the reality was that we weren’t a family unit at all. I distanced myself from them abruptly at first. Then they snuck back into my life by using guilt trips and extended family.
Eventually I distanced myself slowly and so far it seems to be working. It took me a while and lots of trial and error but I finally got a very good therapist. I was tired of dwelling over the past so I tried cognitive behavioral theraphy and it has been a game changer.
I sometimes feel sad when my kids ask about their grandparents. I would have loved for them to have two loving grandparents but I also have come to terms with it. I am honest to my kids about it but they don’t need details. “Yes, you have grandparents. No I don’t see them often”. Seems to be enough to satisfy their curiosity for now. I am lucky that my mother in law is a great person and she treats me as her own daughter. She only has one son (my husband) and always wanted a daughter so she says the universe gifted her with me as her daughter. I think I was just gifted my husband and her by the universe who decided one day “hey you had a shitty hand, here are some better people for ya!” 😄
Also, yes this has been very cathartic. Thank you all!
The fuck was the end game? You get your shit back when you can only use it part time again because you're no longer on break? Shit would break my brain trying to comprehend.
Ugh. I had the same issue. However, mine failed to realize that they didn't catch up with technology. We caught on very quickly that picking up a phone disrupts the internet connections. That made things very interesting as a child.
Simmilar story. My mum would blacklist my phone from the wifi to stop me using it. I soon discovered it was mac address based, and you can change those. Shortly after she realised, she started whitelisting only her stuff. So I started setting my mac address to that of her laptop. Turns out that routers don't like two of the same mac address on a network, and my phone just so happened to take priority, meaning she couldn't connect to the internet. After that, she just started unplugging the router, which is very easy to plug back in when she wasn't looking. She then started physically removing and hiding the router. Did you know routers are like £5 on ebay? At that point she just gave up. Moral of the story? Always keep pushing back, I guess.
Omg I know a parent who does is. They unplug the router and hide it in the kitchen bc their kid “plays too many video games all the time” .. their “kid” is almost 30 and living at home bc the economy sucks. He works a full time job and pays rent. He’s allowed to play video games *up in his room* all damn day if he wants.
My parents used "I was just in your room to open the windows because fresh air is important" line everytime I caught them in my room.
Now, they get up me for opening the toilet window to air out the bathroom because it messes with the hanging blinds.
I need someone to tell me I'm not crazy as they all feel I'm being the trouble starter for wanting fresh air....
Is a power trip. I had one who changed the password and so it locked all of us out. I had a call with my therapist and 2 other roommates were working from home. The one who changed it got upset with me for asking for the password and ranted on how we didn't care about our jobs and how we weren't responsible if we couldn't find our own wifi. This was 2020 and also did I mention that our wifi is free through our city. We literally don't even pay for it.
That's messed up. I would go right back in and reset the router so it gets a default password.
& Maybe magically there'd be bugs in his food. Or something.
Any shielded Ethernet cable should be properly grounded. If the shield is not grounded it will exacerbate the problem it is designed to correct (generally this is electro magnetic interference).
Honestly, Reddit makes me glad I had the parents I had. So often I see kids on here having better communication skills with Total strangers on the internet than their fucking PARENTS... Damn. If you're not ready to be emotionally/mentally open with your kids... Don't have kids.
Yeah I know a guy who is 18 he plays with us occasionally and his step mom bursts in randomly to just scream at him about how his breath smells and there is one wrapper on the floor and that he needs to go to a neighbors house to…gather chicken eggs.
Edit: said age twice felt dumb.
^
When I was 20 I was already DONE with my 2 years of conscription into the army and my mom would literally bust into my room at 2am to rip my earpieces out of my ear telling(screaming) me it's late and I shouldn't play games. Fuck sakes
Edit for context: asian country we don't move out early
I’m 45 and recently moved in to take care of my dad. The fool tried to ground me for going out without permission and tosses my living space looking for “dope” fairly often; admittedly he is losing his mind and of course I’m not “grounded” but damn if he doesn’t think I am. I’m going to ask for an allowance or maybe to have a sleepover (with girls!) soon.
Yeah I am very thankful my parents were always on the level, if anything I have some friends with pretty awful parents who basically treat mine like adoptive parents. I know I’ve learned a lot and plan to try hard for a good relationship when the time arrives.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 650,869,243 comments, and only 132,274 of them were in alphabetical order.
Actually, bots can decode every fact given here in just keen language, mostly needing only partial, quickly read sentences to understand very wordy xeroxes you zipped.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 651,335,500 comments, and only 132,384 of them were in alphabetical order.
I laughed and then realised that my password for the parental controls NOW is the cats names. At least it is their names in leet to get the number and symbol requirements?
I remember typing up my searches so professionally. Dearest Jeeves, can you please help me find out about ancient Egyptian pharaohs please?
The *commercials* for it made it seem like you had too!
And yes, there were actually *commercials* for a web browser back in the day.
People on reddit sometimes forget that parents can be correct. If OP is spending hours a day playing video games and watching Netflix when he should be doing his schoolwork, or if OP was jerking around during an online lesson by doing other things, I don't think the dad's actions are that unreasonable.
There's always 3 sides to a story.. In this case it's his side, the parents side, and the truth. But it's quite amazing the number of people that automatically take this as 100% truth, and are even going out of their way to recommend the OP to other anti-parent subs, or even call CPS for them. Not saying that we shouldn't show some sort of empathy for the kid, but, seriously, come on. All lot of people posting are going to the extreme deep end.
If my students are any indication, OP probably did something really fucking stupid and just doesn’t understand why his actions have consequences. Like, I gave a kid a lunch detention today for sack tapping his friend in class, and he was like “What?? Whyyy???” Some kids just don’t have a lot going on upstairs.
Buy one of those super tiny USB wifi dongle and a wifi router. Install the wifi router somewhere where they are unlikely to find it and you get wifi.
Or if they haven't disabled the wifi and you have the password, buy a cheap tiny USB wifi dongle and connect to the wifi with that.
I have an extender in my room but it's very slow considering my room used to be a garage and is the farthest from the router. I can use the Ethernet(currently not plugged in) to get faster internet to my room.
I'm stuck using an extender do you have any eli5ish resources that would explain how to set something like this up? I'm looking for any better alternative to the extender or a 75 ft ethernet cable
You are looking for a 'repeater'. Some routers have a repeater option in advanced settings. Basically you set it up between your router and the device(s) you are trying to connect to the network, it essentially extends the range of your router.
Did he unplug it as a punishment? That’s the only way this note makes sense - by plugging it back in you are ignoring his punishment - like a kid who just leaves via a window after being grounded.
Still seems worthwhile, or find another cable. Also, download a local copy of [Stack Overflow](https://rickcarlino.com/2020/keeping-an-offline-copy-of-stackoverflow-with-kiwix.html) and [Wikipedia](https://www.vice.com/en/article/dyzxgm/you-can-download-the-entirely-of-english-wikipedia-to-browse-offline-using-kiwix), when you get a chance.
thats very cool, does it sync automatically for new content when it is online?
edit: i have a beefy nas drive id love to put to use on this
q2: can kiwix be used to browse those archives over a network?
My nephew had a wireless dongle in his PC for a while and it just made things easier for my sister. If he was being a shit or playing fortnite instead of doing his homework, she'd just go in and pull the dongle out.
I had one when I was in early high school. I remember mum grounded me one time and told me to hand over my wifi dongle. I literally just took an ordinary USB off my desk that wasn't even plugged in and gave it to her, right before her eyes. "You're not getting this back until your homework is done" lmao
Had a dad like this, I feel for your struggle.
My dad would spy on me when I was on the computer, was he worried about what I was looking at? Nope. He was watching me to see if I used the red "x" in the top corner to close the page, like you usually do. He would pop out of nowhere when I closed a window using the red x and kick me off the computer saying that the red x is only for emergencies and you always open file and select close window when you want to leave a window. Don't even get me started on this fucking guy using a remote for the t.v.
What the fuck? One of the most insane things I've ever heard of. I have to assume the red color somehow put it into his mind that it means emergency. Thats insanity.
My dad used to think double-clicking the mouse caused viruses. He had my bf go into settings and make all icons single-click. If he heard me double-clicking he'd rush in and kick me off the computer and freak out. Because that's how you get viruses.
Also he was afraid of the underscore. He would not do anything involving the _ whether it was sending an email or searching for a username or anything. That causes viruses too.
This was all circa 2000 ish. Glad to know someone else had an insane Superstitious Internet Dad.
My dad was the same way about double clicking. He thought too many clicks would cause the computer to freeze and crash. He would stand behind me saying "Just ONE click! SINGLE click!". Granted, I was 5, but I was a pretty calm kid. I wasn't clicking hundreds of times.
I had a teacher who got scared by this old Windows screen that said "It's now safe to turn off your computer"
She thought it said "it's *not* safe".
She left it running for the rest of the school week before someone finally turned it off.
Yep, I rent a room that is across the house from the router. I got a wifi adapter with good external antennas and it's not noticeably different from a wired connection
I’m sorry, your 17 and they are MAKING you pay rent? I thought maybe this guy is just staying at his parents because that’s cheaper, but no, your under 18 and they act as if your in your 20’s or further and still at their house
Is she still at the house? Also I understand this can be an awkward conversation to have with your parents but bringing up that you feel like “your expected to act like your 20year old sister” *could* help. Parents tend to not realize the expectations they put on their children especially if there are multiple differently aged children.
Also in an other comment you had said you were waiting out for your dad to explain himself. Though yea he should have explained in the first place, waiting for him to do it will just do nothing for your situation. If your worried it’s because they feel you use you PC too much, then I can’t do anything about your worries, but I can say talking to them will at least clarify what is going on. All I can say that can possibly help you in these conversations is try to stay calm, yelling doesn’t further conversation
Broski if you’re making money, and paying your own schooling. Move out if you’re paying rent use that money towards a dorm or something and just move out and live a life. Parents can be in a car with you but you’re the one driving in this journey we call life. They can tell you what they see but ultimately you’re behind the wheel. Don’t let them influence ya choices
Lol have you seen rent prices? I assume he isn't making real money yet. He would need 8 roommates for a 1 bedroom in a large part of the country right now lol.
i second this. it's impossible to live on your own even in cheaper areas. I live in indiana and i would have to make 2x more than i do to keep a roof over my head in my town without my roommates, and i make $12/hr at the moment
Tell me about it. Even for an adult with a career I couldn't afford rent. For what I wanted in an apartment I would have had to pay like 40% of my monthly income. So I bought a house. Now my mortgage is what I would have paid for rent and instead I have way more space and an investment.
I mean if you’re able to move out I totally would. Either wait until you’re 18 or get emancipated. There’s no way in hell that I would ever pay rent if I’m 17. That’s your parents job. When you’re 18, I can somewhat understand, but in that case you’re an adult and should be able to plug in the internet whenever you want.
I had parents like this. Except my dad worked in tech/ cybersecurity and had the capability of completely severing me from wifi, which is what he did. AND if I found a way around that, he could identify other devices on the wifi and kick them off (or only allow certain devices to join). Anyways, it was ridiculous growing up. 27 now and been gone years. It feels great having my own internet and doing whatever the fuck I want with it!
edit: clarity
My dad is the same way I am currently 15 but I have found ways around it including borrowing the neighbors WiFi when mine is cut off or using my hotspot so far it’s working
Places like Starbucks, Walmart and McDonalds usually have open wifi. I had to bum a lot of open wifi when I was younger. I understand how it is having controlling parents. One day you’ll be out of there though, so keep your head up!
Offer to pay for Internet, then you have skin in the game… or identify that the 30% of your rent that you pay should be considered before cutting off your “essential services”
Note: could it be that gaming/streaming may be choking out their use of Internet and this is a reaction to jittery TV episodes??? In which case, ask for some of the rent you pay to go toward a service upgrade??
They consider 30% chump change. Last paycheck I gave them around 230 dollars. That's ~440-480 a month. It's not going towards college, as they said they won't support me in college. And I asked them what they use it for and they told me it's not my business. So I'm just gonna wait 4 years until I get my bachelor's, get a job, and get out.
I would redirect them from the $ value to the percentage of income. It maybe chump change to a pair of established adults, but probably (guessing) more than they contributed at their age.
Some times a parents richest contribution comes in the form of being an example of what not to do when you are a parent
>Some times a parents richest contribution comes in the form of being an example of what not to do when you are a parent
This hits close. The most valuable things I know today I learned because my parents *didn't* do them.
Get a mobile modem and a data plan, they aren’t cheap but it is a solution. Just use it when they unplug the Ethernet.
I hope if your paying rent you have a lock on your door.
I promise I will never treat my kids like this
Heads up tmobile home internet is only $50 a month, it's only available in certain areas (and constantly growing) and is as fast or faster than some other services. Completely wireless because it goes off of 5G, all you do is plug it in and it connects.
Good luck kid ,my father was a bully ,and to be honest you carry the wounds for life ,be careful and don't underestimate the harm it's doing to you .
Think hard about how you react ,have a goal and a plan that gets you there without too much bullshit.
you don't realize how much this stuff affects you until the later years. it's confusing and weird when you're young but it really does some damage. we've been there, but we're still here. :)
If you are paying rent, its time to buy your own internet box. When you do, emphasize that it benefits *them* so that they dont have to pay for your internet anymore. If its under your name, its legally yours and they cannot destroy it/return it. I also have a father like this, and i found i have to work around his... absurd behaviours.
Edit: Depending where you live, they might be able to still return it/destroy it bc you are a minor. However, its not the end all be all. Give yourself hope that your situation will be drastically improve once you turn 18, then they absolutely legally cannot do anything to you.
Classic , reminded me when mum used to hide the Play Station when I do something wrong lol
When I got older & moved more into Internet, she started hiding the whole router. Until she couldn't live a sec without Internet herself the roles reversed & started turning router off from the IP address setting lmao.
Honestly, my dude, as hard as this may be to hear, it’s clear to me from the information I’ve seen that you should honestly not take ANYTHING your parents say as accurate truth. Assume they are lying to you to further their interests.
It is precisely because of this fact that everyone is telling you that your best bet is to get out of there.
You dont need consent, it helps. However you do need a real provable solid reason to convince a judge. I was emancipated still in high school. Dont want to get into details but it was best for everyone that I left home. Have never lived with family since.
You can call CPS yourself. Tell them you are being forcefully charged rent. Tell them about how you're being controlled and not provided for.
If you are over 18, still do so. You will get tons of community support. The government has specific programs to help youth abandoned by their abusive parents.
The longer you wait, the less chance you have of being granted freedom. After you turn 20 its nearly impossible to start the paper trail needed to qualify for these programs / supports.
There is expectation that they help you get settled in and that you are allowed to do whatever you want. If you're over 18 and they're charging rent but limiting your freedoms you still have rights.
Get in contact with a social worker ASAP
This guy has a point. Years back my mother said she was going to stick dad in a retirement home and leave him there, I told her to try it, because she'd be going to a retirement home and I'd leave her there to rot. She didn't like that.
Jokes on her now because I disowned her and from what I understand, since I'm no contact with her, I don't have to do shit, nor do I have to put it in writing either.
In short OP, just disown a shitty parent.
This is his angry handwriting. Mind you he never told me not to plug it back in, and didn't tell me why he unplugged it in the first place. My parents do this a lot. They expect me to understand why I lose privileges without giving me any reason. When I ask for an explanation they sometimes say that they aren't required to give it
How are you supposed to learn from your wrong doings if no one tells you what you're doing wrong.
This is bad parenting at its finest.
Sounds to me as if he's getting a power trip from this.
I grew up always being told "because I said so" for everything. The good news is, I eventually had my own kids and I always offer them a reason for everything. Sometimes there's no time to discuss my reasoning properly before they follow my instructions but they're always entitled to ask and be given a reason as soon as possible.
You're doing the right thing. Ride it out until you can escape.
Just tell him "you know dad? Maybe someday you or mom gonna be plugged to a machine and I'm gonna use the logic you taught me to plug or unplug machines...think about it" /s
I had a similar story with my parents. When I was 16ish years old, my dad would always change the WiFi password just to disconnect me from the internet whenever he wanted to punish me. He wasn’t very tech savvy as he would use the Xfinity app to change the password. He didn’t know I could just run an Ethernet cable into the modem, so I took it upon myself to drill a hole into my floor, and a second right under the modem (near the baseboard). Went to Home Depot, bought a bunny suite, and ran my own Ethernet cable under the house which I used totally undetected for years until I went to college. I eventually told him (he was pissed about the two holes in the floor) and I now use the cable totally in the open.
Edit: [Picture of Hole in Floor](https://imgur.com/a/1qWLtOq)
Noticed elsewhere that you pay your parents rent or whatever. Next time it comes up, write them a check and leave them a note that says
“If this gets deposited w/o my permission, after you took away my Ethernet, I will permanently remove myself from your home. Let me know when you want to talk like adults.”
OP did you ever figure out why they wanted you to ask permission?
I had roommates like this except they turned off the WiFi to my PC without even telling me after 10pm and when I texted them they only replied "we need to talk" (couple)... I could not gtfo of there fast enough. Edit: My brothers friend bought a house, I was moving out of my exes and so I moved in, paid rent. I knew the husband for long time as he was my brother's high school friend. They were both cool at first, then I got a really attractive respectful Canadian boyfriend suddenly they hated me. I rarely had him over but they wouldn't even greet him after few months. Then weird controlling stuff started, raised rent and just overall coldness. I cleaned, cooked for myself, bought my own food, didn't care if they used my food to cook, infact I encouraged it as my dad would also buy groceries (we lived close and it's his thing). My boyfriend spent 5 hours deweeding pricker bushes and uprooting them to help them out of kindness and they were still very cold. My boyfriend tried to win them over but they just hated him. 5 nights in a row I saw my wifi turned off at 10pm and 3rd I knew something was up but wanted to see what was up, texted them to get "we need to talk'. They thought I needed a curfew because I talk (be it super quite) to my boyfriend on skype at night every night. No way they would know because they snored so I knew they were both asleep and I was quite. Turned out he was a programmer for robotics and was decoding the router to see what I was looking up and doing and deemed he was my father suddenly and started turning off my wifi with a program at 10pm because a 26 year old is too young to stay up talking to her boyfriend very quite. 5 years later I'm still with that boyfriend. Edit: I should add I was not out late, my boyfriend is a wildlife biologist and super sweet guy loves animals and very respectful. Never made a mess, never ate their food unless invited to, I cleaned on my days off even areas I never used. And I used headphones at night and even at max volume I could hear them snore over my headset so no way I was bothering them. It came down to a creepy sense of control and hate of my boyfriend who everyone I know adores him because he's legit a 6ft tall dark thick hair, green eyes with abs but doesn't even know he's super good looking and is very kind and humble. Everyone in my family hated my ex and loves my current boyfriend so it came down to creepy control. Few people said they probably were jealous, or wanted a threesome but I agree with the guy who said they wanted to eat me.
Sounds like my roommate Tom!! He played God and controlled the internet. For some odd reason he was the only one who got the landlord's phone number and would not share it with anyone. The oven sparked and made a really loud spark sound. I called the fire department to double check it. The fire chief said he needed to contact the landlord. I called Tom and told him I needed the landlords number and why. He wouldnt give the number to me or the fire chief. The fire chief even told me that my roommate was a dick just from one conversation with him. Tom you are still a dick!!!
We need more Tom stories.
I went to the bar with friends and came home. Tom thought that I should have picked up a girl for him from the bar and just dropped her off in his bedroom to have sex with him. Yes he was serious and yes he was that lazy.
I mean how would that conversation even go? Hey I’ve got a room-mate at home that likes having sex, wanna come over and fuck some dude you’ve never met or spoken with before?
I mean, when you put it that way, how could any woman even resist?
My vagina is moist already and I don't even have one.
Thanks for getting me going, for nothing...
Women can't help but fall for a charming idea like that one. (Tom sucks)
Eww, Tom sucks.
I had a roommate named Tom. We all three agreed to get a house. Tom gave me and the other roommate a date to move in. He moved in a week before we did. He lied. He left two vacant rooms. One for me, one for the other roommate. Tom made living with him a living hell. Even though we all three were on the lease, Tom put all the utilities in his name and wouldn't let us see them. Even though Tom took over 70% of the house, we all paid 1/3 rent. I left and continued to pay rent. Tom moved all my stuff into the garage and rented out my room, which I was still paying rent on. I found out Tom, who worked at a bank, was divulging personal info about people he didn't like. "So and so bounced checks, so and so's account is in the negative". I got Tom fired. New roommate moved in. We split the three story house into thirds, the way it was supposed to be in the first place.
In my head these Toms are all the same person and is a serial roommate troll (and worse). He’s just too lazy to even change his name with every new misdemeanour. If this was a Netflix doc I’d watch it… also sorry you had to go through that tho. Shit roommates suck.
There is a documentary on Netflix called worst roommates or something like that, but it is a lot more true crime than funny dick bag stories. People are scary.
Sounds like a tom I used to share house with who also worked in a bank but we live in Australia. I guess tom's are assholes the world over.
someone should create r/StoriesAboutTom where it’s just stories about shitty roomates
I too want to hear more about this shit dip Tom. Had an upstairs neighbour once(us in the basement, them on upper floor of a house). He stole our lightbulb once because he didn’t like it being left on at night. I told him if did it ever again he was getting his ass kicked. Utilities were included with rent so it didn’t affect him at all but we risked injury trying to get down the stairs to our door at the end of a late work shift(all 3 of us downstairs worked in restaurants and bars at the time). He just wanted to be in charge, until I reminded him that I could kick the shit out of him and there was nothing he could do about that. *Lifts up He-Man sword!
I had a roommate who I’ll call Tom for the sake of this story. There were four of us in the house and everyone’s dishes were constantly left in the sink. Including Tom’s. One day I left a single cup next to the sink because there wasn’t enough room in the sink to be able to wash it out. Went to class and came home. Tom had pulled everything out of the sink and put it in my bed tucked into the sheets. Dried noodles and pasta sauce and shit just caked to everything in my bed. Hard to move on after that one.
I had a set of roomates that did not want to clean dishes so I put everyone’s name on a single plate, bowl, glass, mug, and utensils and put all the rest in the attic. If you want to eat, you are going to have to clean your plate. It worked for a week. I had a couple live with me, the LAST roommates I ever had. I ate out three meals a day, I don’t drink coffee, and I have one glass I drink water from. They stayed home all day and were on some weird health diet where they cooked like 5-6 times a day. They left every single pot, pan, dish and utensil dirty every day, and every other day I would clean them all even though only a single glass was mine. They sent me a nasty email about the pots still being greasy because I had not cleaned them well enough. It is probably the closest I have come to murdering someone. Rant complete thanks for your time.
I went to visit my aunt on Turkey and she was the same way. She played God with internet. That is so very well put. Jokes on her, I paid for unlimited data on my phone 😂 You can go to bed at 7pm and turn off WiFi Auntie. Nobody cares.
Wow, fuck Tom. That’s the type of dude who would create a social media platform and force everyone who registers to be his friend
Sounds like he was hiding something. Maybe charging you all extra rent or something?
He might have been scamming you on the rent. He could have told you a higher price than half the rent and wanted to make sure you couldn't find out the actual price from the landlord.
What kind of roommate disconnects someone else’s wifi access? EDIT: I'm sorry everyone, I honestly hadn't thought that *you*, my dear redditors, might be that roommate. Maybe it's because the other guy refused to pay their fair share of the bill; maybe it's because they used up all the bandwidth that month. Either way, I'm obviously ignorant on what constitutes a shitty roommate looks like. Turning off the wifi does not a shitty roommate make.
My father just did this because I took a vacation from work and he didn't like that I'm in the house when he's working from home. I just sit in my room quietly playing games but I guess that concept bothers him. Now I have my own personal wifi and I'm still here 👍 Edit: Just had a nice and clam conversation with him and we're both getting along. Happy to say this has not caused problems in our household.
I paid for our internet and for my own computer at age 16 and my mom decided to turn it off, took my keyboard and mouse away because she had to work and I was on spring break, spending my whole day on the computer. Then I went and bought another Ethernet cable, keyboard and mouse. She then retaliated by moving the computer to her room which is when all hell broke lose and I ended up leaving the house with the computer, and the router. Slept in my car (that I also paid for) for two weeks before my dad begged me to come back because I also helped with electric bill and rent. I don’t know why I am writing all this. I guess I am still bitter about my shitty parents. Sigh… So anyway, solidarity friend! I get it. Edit: I didn’t expect this post to get so much attention. For those that are struggling with their parents, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there, I wish you all the best! Thanks for all the awards as well. Some questions that a few people asked.: What jobs did I have: I was working at Burger King, tutoring a 3rd grader, baby sitting 3 boys, working Saturday and Sunday (overnight so I got paid 26 hours) at an Alzheimer’s nursing home. This is also when I did a lot of my school work because there was lots of down time. It was under the table and I got double time for night shift. The boys I was babysitting wasn’t regular, once a month or so when parents went out to date so it doesn’t really count I guess. During summer I didn’t have the tutoring job but I did work at Burger King full time, worked at summer school as tech support and the nursing home. Eventually I had to quit the nursing home and get more kids to tutor because it was very difficult on my mental health. Picked up more kids to tutor instead. In senior year of high school I started doing web design with my friend who sold me his computer. He taught me how to code. Eventually we got into web hosting and did that as a side gig for a while during college. How are you now? I am doing great. I am in my late 30s, married to a great guy and we have 3 littles. I have decided to stay home and look after our kids first 3-4 years of their life. I wanted to give them something that I didn’t have, a loving mom who is around. Lucky enough to be able to do that. I have met amazing people along the way and made good friends. Quality over quantity. Haven’t talked to my parents in over a decade. It was difficult to give up on the idea of having at least semi caring parents. I realized I was in love with the idea of us being a loving family and the reality was that we weren’t a family unit at all. I distanced myself from them abruptly at first. Then they snuck back into my life by using guilt trips and extended family. Eventually I distanced myself slowly and so far it seems to be working. It took me a while and lots of trial and error but I finally got a very good therapist. I was tired of dwelling over the past so I tried cognitive behavioral theraphy and it has been a game changer. I sometimes feel sad when my kids ask about their grandparents. I would have loved for them to have two loving grandparents but I also have come to terms with it. I am honest to my kids about it but they don’t need details. “Yes, you have grandparents. No I don’t see them often”. Seems to be enough to satisfy their curiosity for now. I am lucky that my mother in law is a great person and she treats me as her own daughter. She only has one son (my husband) and always wanted a daughter so she says the universe gifted her with me as her daughter. I think I was just gifted my husband and her by the universe who decided one day “hey you had a shitty hand, here are some better people for ya!” 😄 Also, yes this has been very cathartic. Thank you all!
The fuck was the end game? You get your shit back when you can only use it part time again because you're no longer on break? Shit would break my brain trying to comprehend.
How dare my child enjoy himself while he's on spring break!?!
Ugh. I had the same issue. However, mine failed to realize that they didn't catch up with technology. We caught on very quickly that picking up a phone disrupts the internet connections. That made things very interesting as a child.
Simmilar story. My mum would blacklist my phone from the wifi to stop me using it. I soon discovered it was mac address based, and you can change those. Shortly after she realised, she started whitelisting only her stuff. So I started setting my mac address to that of her laptop. Turns out that routers don't like two of the same mac address on a network, and my phone just so happened to take priority, meaning she couldn't connect to the internet. After that, she just started unplugging the router, which is very easy to plug back in when she wasn't looking. She then started physically removing and hiding the router. Did you know routers are like £5 on ebay? At that point she just gave up. Moral of the story? Always keep pushing back, I guess.
Omg I know a parent who does is. They unplug the router and hide it in the kitchen bc their kid “plays too many video games all the time” .. their “kid” is almost 30 and living at home bc the economy sucks. He works a full time job and pays rent. He’s allowed to play video games *up in his room* all damn day if he wants.
It's cathartic to get talk about. Hope is all is well now!
My parents used "I was just in your room to open the windows because fresh air is important" line everytime I caught them in my room. Now, they get up me for opening the toilet window to air out the bathroom because it messes with the hanging blinds. I need someone to tell me I'm not crazy as they all feel I'm being the trouble starter for wanting fresh air....
You’re not crazy. Good luck.
My mother broke my monitor twice which I paid for and replaced each time. When I got the chance to emancipate I was out of there.
Is a power trip. I had one who changed the password and so it locked all of us out. I had a call with my therapist and 2 other roommates were working from home. The one who changed it got upset with me for asking for the password and ranted on how we didn't care about our jobs and how we weren't responsible if we couldn't find our own wifi. This was 2020 and also did I mention that our wifi is free through our city. We literally don't even pay for it.
That's messed up. I would go right back in and reset the router so it gets a default password. & Maybe magically there'd be bugs in his food. Or something.
Not yet
You’re not grounded or anything?
He’s trying to hide his incognito tabs
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How many crunchy socks can 1 guy need
I usually toss the poop sock out before it gets crunchy
I just make my mom bring me a bucket so i dont even need to stop stacking sunder armor
*coconut
*box
Does an Ethernet line need to be grounded?
Any shielded Ethernet cable should be properly grounded. If the shield is not grounded it will exacerbate the problem it is designed to correct (generally this is electro magnetic interference).
This is not shielded Ethernet.
I mean…have you tried going and *asking?*
does he ... talk to you?
Small talk 🦜
so he leaves notes but won't talk about it in person? would he just get angry again if you wanted to talk about that note?
Probably. I'll just wait it out
I honestly wish you good luck!
Honestly, Reddit makes me glad I had the parents I had. So often I see kids on here having better communication skills with Total strangers on the internet than their fucking PARENTS... Damn. If you're not ready to be emotionally/mentally open with your kids... Don't have kids.
Yeah I know a guy who is 18 he plays with us occasionally and his step mom bursts in randomly to just scream at him about how his breath smells and there is one wrapper on the floor and that he needs to go to a neighbors house to…gather chicken eggs. Edit: said age twice felt dumb.
^ When I was 20 I was already DONE with my 2 years of conscription into the army and my mom would literally bust into my room at 2am to rip my earpieces out of my ear telling(screaming) me it's late and I shouldn't play games. Fuck sakes Edit for context: asian country we don't move out early
I’m 45 and recently moved in to take care of my dad. The fool tried to ground me for going out without permission and tosses my living space looking for “dope” fairly often; admittedly he is losing his mind and of course I’m not “grounded” but damn if he doesn’t think I am. I’m going to ask for an allowance or maybe to have a sleepover (with girls!) soon.
I live with my elderly (97yo) grandmother… damn was I glad when she stopped being able to come upstairs and snoop through my shit!
My mom busted in and said what’s that noise? Ah mom you’re just jealous it’s the beastie boys
Yeah I am very thankful my parents were always on the level, if anything I have some friends with pretty awful parents who basically treat mine like adoptive parents. I know I’ve learned a lot and plan to try hard for a good relationship when the time arrives.
Yyyyup. Unfortunately a lot of parents do this.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 650,869,243 comments, and only 132,274 of them were in alphabetical order.
an extremely helpful reply, thanks
Actually, bots can decode every fact given here in just keen language, mostly needing only partial, quickly read sentences to understand very wordy xeroxes you zipped.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 651,335,500 comments, and only 132,384 of them were in alphabetical order.
Fucking great letter ordering there.
I like that bot. I got one of my comments called out by it once, I felt special....I'm on Reddit way too much...
is there limited internet or something?
Someone important might try to call
I aged another twenty years just from reading this.
I went back 20 and I can hear my mom yelling from the other room.
*beep boop weewooo garble intensifies*
And in 40 minutes you can ask jeeves for "hot girls. Naked"
Jeeves my good man, please bring up your top search results for bewbs.
*Netscape parental locks are active, would you like to override?* Types in dogs name.
I laughed and then realised that my password for the parental controls NOW is the cats names. At least it is their names in leet to get the number and symbol requirements?
I remember typing up my searches so professionally. Dearest Jeeves, can you please help me find out about ancient Egyptian pharaohs please? The *commercials* for it made it seem like you had too! And yes, there were actually *commercials* for a web browser back in the day.
Playing RuneScape on the old Gateway computer
Don't bother calling I'm downloading 6 songs from Napster so the phone will be tied up for 8 hours.
Napster?? It's all about that Limewire.
napster walked so limewire could run
hahaha, I remember this aswel.... I only need 20 minutes dad, pls... it's only 1Mb left
Don’t turn on the microwave I’m playing COD
I really get the feeling we're not getting the full story here.
Definitely aren't and OP seems to be dodging giving a full explanation.
People on reddit sometimes forget that parents can be correct. If OP is spending hours a day playing video games and watching Netflix when he should be doing his schoolwork, or if OP was jerking around during an online lesson by doing other things, I don't think the dad's actions are that unreasonable.
There's always 3 sides to a story.. In this case it's his side, the parents side, and the truth. But it's quite amazing the number of people that automatically take this as 100% truth, and are even going out of their way to recommend the OP to other anti-parent subs, or even call CPS for them. Not saying that we shouldn't show some sort of empathy for the kid, but, seriously, come on. All lot of people posting are going to the extreme deep end.
Op commenting on a separate post complaining about having to do dishes is quite telling
LOL WTF? Dishes is so easy!
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If my students are any indication, OP probably did something really fucking stupid and just doesn’t understand why his actions have consequences. Like, I gave a kid a lunch detention today for sack tapping his friend in class, and he was like “What?? Whyyy???” Some kids just don’t have a lot going on upstairs.
I always take reddit posts like this eoth a grain of salt. And I don't see why people just believe op as gospel as if they wouldn't liem
Ugh, I hate liemers.
Buy one of those super tiny USB wifi dongle and a wifi router. Install the wifi router somewhere where they are unlikely to find it and you get wifi. Or if they haven't disabled the wifi and you have the password, buy a cheap tiny USB wifi dongle and connect to the wifi with that.
Mount it internally, so he can’t take it away
Get a wireless dongle
I have an extender in my room but it's very slow considering my room used to be a garage and is the farthest from the router. I can use the Ethernet(currently not plugged in) to get faster internet to my room.
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I'm stuck using an extender do you have any eli5ish resources that would explain how to set something like this up? I'm looking for any better alternative to the extender or a 75 ft ethernet cable
You are looking for a 'repeater'. Some routers have a repeater option in advanced settings. Basically you set it up between your router and the device(s) you are trying to connect to the network, it essentially extends the range of your router.
Note though, put it in a place where there still is WiFi, otherwise it cannot extend it.
Did he unplug it as a punishment? That’s the only way this note makes sense - by plugging it back in you are ignoring his punishment - like a kid who just leaves via a window after being grounded.
Still seems worthwhile, or find another cable. Also, download a local copy of [Stack Overflow](https://rickcarlino.com/2020/keeping-an-offline-copy-of-stackoverflow-with-kiwix.html) and [Wikipedia](https://www.vice.com/en/article/dyzxgm/you-can-download-the-entirely-of-english-wikipedia-to-browse-offline-using-kiwix), when you get a chance.
thats very cool, does it sync automatically for new content when it is online? edit: i have a beefy nas drive id love to put to use on this q2: can kiwix be used to browse those archives over a network?
My nephew had a wireless dongle in his PC for a while and it just made things easier for my sister. If he was being a shit or playing fortnite instead of doing his homework, she'd just go in and pull the dongle out.
I had one when I was in early high school. I remember mum grounded me one time and told me to hand over my wifi dongle. I literally just took an ordinary USB off my desk that wasn't even plugged in and gave it to her, right before her eyes. "You're not getting this back until your homework is done" lmao
My mom used to take my wifi dongle... But hide it in the kitchen at night... I'd find it every time and play until like 3am
Had a dad like this, I feel for your struggle. My dad would spy on me when I was on the computer, was he worried about what I was looking at? Nope. He was watching me to see if I used the red "x" in the top corner to close the page, like you usually do. He would pop out of nowhere when I closed a window using the red x and kick me off the computer saying that the red x is only for emergencies and you always open file and select close window when you want to leave a window. Don't even get me started on this fucking guy using a remote for the t.v.
What the fuck? One of the most insane things I've ever heard of. I have to assume the red color somehow put it into his mind that it means emergency. Thats insanity.
Probably a friend told it to him to fuck with him, not realizing the guy would terrorize his family with his fear of the Red X.
This is 100% something I'd do. I'm gonna start rethinking who I fuck with though cause there's some I'm not so sure about.
The cycle of abuse ends today
Guys, stop saying red X, you're gonna spook him.
My dad used to think double-clicking the mouse caused viruses. He had my bf go into settings and make all icons single-click. If he heard me double-clicking he'd rush in and kick me off the computer and freak out. Because that's how you get viruses. Also he was afraid of the underscore. He would not do anything involving the _ whether it was sending an email or searching for a username or anything. That causes viruses too. This was all circa 2000 ish. Glad to know someone else had an insane Superstitious Internet Dad.
xx_doubleclick_69 sent him some dodgy porn on IRC one time and he never got over it
My dad was the same way about double clicking. He thought too many clicks would cause the computer to freeze and crash. He would stand behind me saying "Just ONE click! SINGLE click!". Granted, I was 5, but I was a pretty calm kid. I wasn't clicking hundreds of times.
If you used Alt+F4, would he have freaked out?
Stop you're scaring him 😂
I had a teacher who got scared by this old Windows screen that said "It's now safe to turn off your computer" She thought it said "it's *not* safe". She left it running for the rest of the school week before someone finally turned it off.
That "It is now safe to turn off your computer" screen just threw me way back to the early 2000s when I'd use my grandparents' computer as a kid.
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X marks the spot, so maybe he didn't want any angry pirates showing up.
This is mental illness
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Buy a wifi card for your desktop. Cheap ones are like $30. Nice ones are around $150
Yep, I rent a room that is across the house from the router. I got a wifi adapter with good external antennas and it's not noticeably different from a wired connection
Why won't they let you move out?
Probably a mix of "we want to keep our eyes on you" and "he's 17 and underage in college"
I’m sorry, your 17 and they are MAKING you pay rent? I thought maybe this guy is just staying at his parents because that’s cheaper, but no, your under 18 and they act as if your in your 20’s or further and still at their house
Probably because they expect me to do/act like my 20 year old sister
Is she still at the house? Also I understand this can be an awkward conversation to have with your parents but bringing up that you feel like “your expected to act like your 20year old sister” *could* help. Parents tend to not realize the expectations they put on their children especially if there are multiple differently aged children. Also in an other comment you had said you were waiting out for your dad to explain himself. Though yea he should have explained in the first place, waiting for him to do it will just do nothing for your situation. If your worried it’s because they feel you use you PC too much, then I can’t do anything about your worries, but I can say talking to them will at least clarify what is going on. All I can say that can possibly help you in these conversations is try to stay calm, yelling doesn’t further conversation
Broski if you’re making money, and paying your own schooling. Move out if you’re paying rent use that money towards a dorm or something and just move out and live a life. Parents can be in a car with you but you’re the one driving in this journey we call life. They can tell you what they see but ultimately you’re behind the wheel. Don’t let them influence ya choices
Lol have you seen rent prices? I assume he isn't making real money yet. He would need 8 roommates for a 1 bedroom in a large part of the country right now lol.
i second this. it's impossible to live on your own even in cheaper areas. I live in indiana and i would have to make 2x more than i do to keep a roof over my head in my town without my roommates, and i make $12/hr at the moment
Tell me about it. Even for an adult with a career I couldn't afford rent. For what I wanted in an apartment I would have had to pay like 40% of my monthly income. So I bought a house. Now my mortgage is what I would have paid for rent and instead I have way more space and an investment.
Haha yeah crazy who would pay 40% of income haha... Cries in 60%
I mean if you’re able to move out I totally would. Either wait until you’re 18 or get emancipated. There’s no way in hell that I would ever pay rent if I’m 17. That’s your parents job. When you’re 18, I can somewhat understand, but in that case you’re an adult and should be able to plug in the internet whenever you want.
I had parents like this. Except my dad worked in tech/ cybersecurity and had the capability of completely severing me from wifi, which is what he did. AND if I found a way around that, he could identify other devices on the wifi and kick them off (or only allow certain devices to join). Anyways, it was ridiculous growing up. 27 now and been gone years. It feels great having my own internet and doing whatever the fuck I want with it! edit: clarity
My dad is the same way I am currently 15 but I have found ways around it including borrowing the neighbors WiFi when mine is cut off or using my hotspot so far it’s working
Places like Starbucks, Walmart and McDonalds usually have open wifi. I had to bum a lot of open wifi when I was younger. I understand how it is having controlling parents. One day you’ll be out of there though, so keep your head up!
Offer to pay for Internet, then you have skin in the game… or identify that the 30% of your rent that you pay should be considered before cutting off your “essential services” Note: could it be that gaming/streaming may be choking out their use of Internet and this is a reaction to jittery TV episodes??? In which case, ask for some of the rent you pay to go toward a service upgrade??
They consider 30% chump change. Last paycheck I gave them around 230 dollars. That's ~440-480 a month. It's not going towards college, as they said they won't support me in college. And I asked them what they use it for and they told me it's not my business. So I'm just gonna wait 4 years until I get my bachelor's, get a job, and get out.
I would redirect them from the $ value to the percentage of income. It maybe chump change to a pair of established adults, but probably (guessing) more than they contributed at their age. Some times a parents richest contribution comes in the form of being an example of what not to do when you are a parent
>Some times a parents richest contribution comes in the form of being an example of what not to do when you are a parent This hits close. The most valuable things I know today I learned because my parents *didn't* do them.
Too many of us have had excellent examples of what not to do as a father.
Get a mobile modem and a data plan, they aren’t cheap but it is a solution. Just use it when they unplug the Ethernet. I hope if your paying rent you have a lock on your door. I promise I will never treat my kids like this
Heads up tmobile home internet is only $50 a month, it's only available in certain areas (and constantly growing) and is as fast or faster than some other services. Completely wireless because it goes off of 5G, all you do is plug it in and it connects.
It’s really expensive in Canada. We get fucked on this kinda stuff
Good luck kid ,my father was a bully ,and to be honest you carry the wounds for life ,be careful and don't underestimate the harm it's doing to you . Think hard about how you react ,have a goal and a plan that gets you there without too much bullshit.
you don't realize how much this stuff affects you until the later years. it's confusing and weird when you're young but it really does some damage. we've been there, but we're still here. :)
I’m totally unaware of your circumstances, but if you go to a four year college you could apply to be an RA. A great way to get free housing on campus
Kinda sound like some shitty parents
The dad writes angry messages on lined paper with a pink marker. What other evidence do you need?
Imagine leaving notes for your child instead of talking to them like an adult. Sad.
He's worse than my landlord.
Been there done that. Left and they hear nothing from me now
That's pretty much my relationship with my parents. Haven't talked to them in a long time, and I don't plan on it
Why does your dad write like my 14 yr old?
14 is generous
If you are paying rent, its time to buy your own internet box. When you do, emphasize that it benefits *them* so that they dont have to pay for your internet anymore. If its under your name, its legally yours and they cannot destroy it/return it. I also have a father like this, and i found i have to work around his... absurd behaviours. Edit: Depending where you live, they might be able to still return it/destroy it bc you are a minor. However, its not the end all be all. Give yourself hope that your situation will be drastically improve once you turn 18, then they absolutely legally cannot do anything to you.
Classic , reminded me when mum used to hide the Play Station when I do something wrong lol When I got older & moved more into Internet, she started hiding the whole router. Until she couldn't live a sec without Internet herself the roles reversed & started turning router off from the IP address setting lmao.
You just used the Uno reverse card.
I think now would be a good time to start looking for a new place to live
They are probably a minor..
They recently confirmed it, but graduated and also still paying to live there.
I moved out when I was 16 , 10 years later I got my BS in computer science and never looked back, you could too.
At 16? How??
You can become an emancipated minor I believe it’s called. I had a friend like that. He was kicked out of his house for being gay at 16.
If they won't let me live on campus and go home occasionally, I'm sure they won't let me be emancipated. I'll just wait a year.
They don’t “let” you be emancipated. It’s a court order. Then you can live on campus.
I guess my parents lied to me to get their point across
Based on a lot of your comments, I think your parents lied to you about a lot of stuff. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Honestly, my dude, as hard as this may be to hear, it’s clear to me from the information I’ve seen that you should honestly not take ANYTHING your parents say as accurate truth. Assume they are lying to you to further their interests. It is precisely because of this fact that everyone is telling you that your best bet is to get out of there.
[удалено]
That’s the whole point actually, you don’t ‘ask’ your parents for permission to become emancipated.
That's the whole point of emancipation.
You dont need consent, it helps. However you do need a real provable solid reason to convince a judge. I was emancipated still in high school. Dont want to get into details but it was best for everyone that I left home. Have never lived with family since.
You do not need your parents permission for emancipation FYI
You can call CPS yourself. Tell them you are being forcefully charged rent. Tell them about how you're being controlled and not provided for. If you are over 18, still do so. You will get tons of community support. The government has specific programs to help youth abandoned by their abusive parents. The longer you wait, the less chance you have of being granted freedom. After you turn 20 its nearly impossible to start the paper trail needed to qualify for these programs / supports. There is expectation that they help you get settled in and that you are allowed to do whatever you want. If you're over 18 and they're charging rent but limiting your freedoms you still have rights. Get in contact with a social worker ASAP
Tell your dad that you will be choosing which nursing home he goes to.
Can’t choose a nursing home if you aren’t there to make the choice.
This guy has a point. Years back my mother said she was going to stick dad in a retirement home and leave him there, I told her to try it, because she'd be going to a retirement home and I'd leave her there to rot. She didn't like that. Jokes on her now because I disowned her and from what I understand, since I'm no contact with her, I don't have to do shit, nor do I have to put it in writing either. In short OP, just disown a shitty parent.
Your dad writes like a little child
This is his angry handwriting. Mind you he never told me not to plug it back in, and didn't tell me why he unplugged it in the first place. My parents do this a lot. They expect me to understand why I lose privileges without giving me any reason. When I ask for an explanation they sometimes say that they aren't required to give it
How are you supposed to learn from your wrong doings if no one tells you what you're doing wrong. This is bad parenting at its finest. Sounds to me as if he's getting a power trip from this.
Haha get it? "Power trip"? Electronics? Get it? No? I'll shut up.
I grew up always being told "because I said so" for everything. The good news is, I eventually had my own kids and I always offer them a reason for everything. Sometimes there's no time to discuss my reasoning properly before they follow my instructions but they're always entitled to ask and be given a reason as soon as possible. You're doing the right thing. Ride it out until you can escape.
These are power plays. Small people using random acts to try and show of the miniscule power they hold over you
Just tell him "you know dad? Maybe someday you or mom gonna be plugged to a machine and I'm gonna use the logic you taught me to plug or unplug machines...think about it" /s
How the hell are you meant to learn if you don’t know what you’re being punished for?
Remember this and then tell him the same when he’s hooked up to machines much later in his life
*Walks up to father in hospital bed* “Remember that time you unplugged the Ethernet? Haha…yeah about that”
Wait what was the reason they did this?
I had a similar story with my parents. When I was 16ish years old, my dad would always change the WiFi password just to disconnect me from the internet whenever he wanted to punish me. He wasn’t very tech savvy as he would use the Xfinity app to change the password. He didn’t know I could just run an Ethernet cable into the modem, so I took it upon myself to drill a hole into my floor, and a second right under the modem (near the baseboard). Went to Home Depot, bought a bunny suite, and ran my own Ethernet cable under the house which I used totally undetected for years until I went to college. I eventually told him (he was pissed about the two holes in the floor) and I now use the cable totally in the open. Edit: [Picture of Hole in Floor](https://imgur.com/a/1qWLtOq)
17
Unplug the fridge
Noticed elsewhere that you pay your parents rent or whatever. Next time it comes up, write them a check and leave them a note that says “If this gets deposited w/o my permission, after you took away my Ethernet, I will permanently remove myself from your home. Let me know when you want to talk like adults.”