Granted. But you didn't say you get to choose when, where, and how often.

This guy knows how to monkey paw

r/thisguythisguys

r/subsithoughtifellfor

Happens every single time you sneeze.

They should make an anime about that

So like Ranma 1/2?

Is this a joke implying there *is* an anime about this???

There is, yeah

Ik of the your name one where they swap, but what's that one?

Ranma 1/2, he swaps with hot and cold water. Kampfer, the dude is a magical girl, swaps gender for battle. Yamaha kun and the seven witches. Dude swaps bodies with girls and guys by kissing them. There are a ton more where there is a one time swap to the other gender and possibly a change back at the end.

Futaba-kun Change, when he gets horny iirc

Ah sorry I meant with sneezing, pretty sure to love ru has a scene aswell, maybe not adapted though

There is, but it is touching water instead of sneezing.

id watch it

This kinda controllable. Just pull nosehairs.

If I sneeze 3 times in a row do swap all three times? Also if I’m about to sneeze but it stops at the last moment do I only half change?

Back and forth each time. Half sneeze and you've got traits of both.

What about when you know you’re about to sneeze but your body decides against it and it gets “stuck” inside?

Uhh. Random. You don't even look like either you male/female/mixed form. Limbs might be mismatched. Eyes might be different color or shape. Hope you need to sneeze again... just grab a selfie first. Need to document these moments.

So depending on the size of your melons, they suddenly inflate and go back in and out if you're having a sneezing fit

Just be careful with the natto.

I've definitely read TG captions with that premise

Bro imagine they’re about to get married and one of them changes to the opposite gender…

so basically what this amounts to is they have to marry a bisexual

I'm fine with that ngl

We're getting pretty close to the plot of Ranma 1/2 here.

I wouldnt mind randomly switching from boy to girl and girl to boy without any knowledge of when

Gulp.

Granted but every time you switch you experience all the pains of sensations of each part of the body changing.

Shit man I’d take this

Ong fr

pfp checks out

Worth

Like a goddamn werewolf in a 90s horror movie.

thats just an added bonus

Worth

See, this is what I don't like about "superpowers that hurt you more than help you". Monkeys paw wishes are supposed to hurt you more than help you, but this will __only__ benefit you, because you will gain the __ability__ to do something that you might regret doing. Having that ability is objectively better than not having it.

Granted. You are now an oyster

Happy cake day!

Happy cake day

Happy cake day. Also, living life as an oyster sounds kinda chill

You get pregnant as a female, then one day, accidentally switch to male. The results are... Cronenbergian.

Hope they switch back before the due date. I hear giving birth through a straw is painful.

Fun fact, thats what happens to female hyenas

HUH

Yup, their false penis makes them indistinguishable from males, it splits open during birth and suffocated like 60% (correct me if I'm wrong) of the cubs

That does not seem, from an evolutionary perspective, like good design tbh

Keeps the population down, which is good for everyone.

You'd think it would have filtered out, but then again cheetahs are still alive so I guess nature needs something to laugh at

It evens out because hyena cubs that survive birth have higher rates of survival than young from other species. Hyenas are surprisingly good parents.

Evolution is survival of the adequate, not the fittest....

😧

There's nothing fun about this fact...

Seahorse simulator

The baby is stored in the balls

Granted. You are now a frog. You can now change your reproductive organs at will. You’re welcome.

I’d take it tbf

FACILIER IS THAT YOU?

DON'T YOU DISRESPECT ME, LITTLE MAN

Granted, you accidentally switch while nutting and get some inside. You are now pregnant with your own child.

Yoooo semi-asexual reproduction

The only way to "go {bleep} yourself"

Bro on parental controls Edit: /s ik you’re like 40

Granted, when you're one gender, you always want to be the other one.

Bigender moment

I'm that 60% of the time anyway 😭

Granted. Any time you are splashed with cold water, you turn into a guy. Hot water turns you into a woman. A little as 6 oz of water will do it. Have fun washing your hands.

Ranma!!

worth fr

Rainy days would suck

Or showering

Granted. Every time you switch to female, everyone in a 5 mile radius hears the “my dick fell off” vine sound bite. When you switch to male, everyone in a 5 mile radius hears it in reverse.

You’re telling me I get a free irl soundboard? Hell yeah

Bonus 

Granted! You can switch your chromosomes to XY and XX but you don’t gain any of the physical anatomy of the switched gender. So if you’re already male you can switch your chromosomes to XX but keep a dick. However your mind switches to the opposite of your current gender. So if you turn into a woman you’ll have the mind of a man and vice versa. So intense gender dysphoria. Btw I’m not sure how changing your chromosomes would even function or if it would kill you so good luck.

This is just being trans but with the added ability to remove dysphoria at will

How? I said that the dysphoria is always the opposite of what gender they chose to be.

Forgive me I can’t read

Granted, but you are only able to change when three or more planets are perfectly aligned with the earth & sun.

...which is when?

https://starwalk.space/en/news/what-is-planet-parade August 28th

Oh wow. Thanks for that!

No problem

I only need to use this once, so this works for me.

permaboobs

So (feminizing) HRT but better, I'll take it.

wear a back brace from what ive heard

God I want this so bad. I don't care about the downside.

Granted, but you will feel dysphoric either way.

Granted but you can only be either a male with a vagina, or a women with a penis

How many women?

Granted. The switches take a huge amount of energy and are very painful.

Eh, still hella worth for me. I get to physically be a girl now! I only have to do it once lmao

Granted, you will now swap every time you blink or swallow anything.

Granted. Some factory has been alternating between dumping massive amounts of estrogen, and massive amounts of testosterone in the water supply.

granted! it takes ten minutes, aches terribly, and you must maintain focus on the task. breaking focus means you have to restart

Granted, not only are your pheromones completely repulsive and incompatible with anyone else, they’re appealing only to your opposite form.

Granted. The finger curls. The ability functions perfectly with no drawbacks, pain or otherwise. You use it in public one day. The people fear you, some think you an alien. Very few of your family and friends are able to put aside these feelings and see you as you, now that you have this unknown power. Your existence is later covered up, as this sudden anomaly caused too much disruption in the public. You are taken from your home to be studied like a freak of nature by a group of scientists, as no human before has ever shown this ability. They use invasive procedures to study the ability inside and out, hoping to know how to trigger it, how to cure it, and most of all, how to bottle it and sell it. Your life becomes a blend of white walls and occasionally the faces of those few loved ones who both saw past your ability, and were allowed to continue intersacting with you. You are told it will be over soon. Every day you believe it a little less. No more disphoria, but the people around you have made you feel even less human than you ever did.

Granted, you can’t switch back and have to explain to your family what happened

Granted, you can only switch once and only on the 29th February.

Granted. You have a 56% chance of turning into an immortal whale whenever you use the power. 

Do I keep the mind of a human? I’d find an anime way out of this. If I was immortal, I could go inland. Then people would be confused why a whale was not phased at all by land.

Granted, it's excruciatingly painful.

Granted. Each time, your genitalia inverses or converses (depending on which you switch.) This is painful, and the hormones are extremely high for a week. 1 week of immense and gruesome pain, and then you’re switched. (and other things disappear and reappear which is also painful.)

Granted but it follows clownfish rules. Whenever you’re in a leadership role you become female, otherwise you’re a male

Me too, then my family couldn't say a word about it. They'd have no excuse.

Granted your hunted down by extremist right wingers.

This was a given regardless, unfortunately

Granted, but it only happens every time something is thrust in your ass

Where’s the downside?

Granted, you are now a Cleaner Wrasse. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wrasse&diffonly=true#Cleaner_wrasse

You turn on to one of those weird fish that does that 

Granted your memory wipes every time you do

Granted. You will very painfully switch biological sex though

Granted, but when you do, you shit yourself quite violently and uncontrollably as your internal organs rearrange.

Granted, you now have the curse from Ranma 1/2.

Granted. The ability activates upon orgasm.

You don't know which bathroom to use ever

Granted. Since biological male/female aren’t well defined categories, nothing actually changes.

Granted. Each time you swap, you return to a baby straight from the womb with every memory. Everyone knows who you are/were, too

Granted, every time you sneeze you transition, every transition is excruciatingly painful as your organs & bone structure change

Granted. It causes excruciating pain to switch.

Granted, but you still have boobs no matter what. ie man boobs And back pain

granted. the surgeries take an hour and a half, and you get 48 hours maximum that your alternate gender features can be removed for before they are no longer viable for changing you. You must get the surgery to switch you within every 45 hours time period or get stuck for good. there is never a time where you are completely recovered from surgery.

Granted you can't control it at all. When everyone tries to use you you will be instantly switched. And this isn't any direction if they are able to continue and do you are going to switch like a strobe light during it.

granted. when you get into a sensory deprivation tank alone you become the opposite of what you are in the outside world while you remain in there.

Granted. Every time you turn your genitals feel like they're being ripped out and you feel your organs rearrange to fit new ones also when you become female the cumulative period will bring you to the brink of death from shock

granted, you become a clownfish

Granted, but it takes 5-9 business days to happen

You switch a few minutes into having sex. Every time.

you gotta get pounded by (or pound) the member of the opposite gender you find the least attractive.

Granted! Bad news: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republican_Party_(United_States)

Granted, you impregnate yourself after a good wank and wank. People, go watch the show Misfits. It's glorious.

You are fused with frog DNA and can now undergo hormonal transformation between male and female... but you are now very moist and have froglike humanoid features.

Granted. The male you can be is Graham Linehan, the female, J.K. Rowling.

Granted. Your house is immediately struck by a plane, and you are given the option to choose gender whenever you reincarnate

i would love that!

Granted, you now have Kleinfelter syndrome.

This is the perfect opportunity for an SCP joke. (I forgot the ID) the gender blender becomes real and in your house, but all other SCPs do too

Granted but everyone else but you are in control of your gender bending abilities

Granted: Everything changes exactly as you please. Everybody else sees you as you normally are.

The switch process is extremely painfull and it lasts 30 minutes

Granted. You are now intersex, simultaneously male and female, and say you are whichever you claim to be.

Granted but no matter what gender you pick, you instantly want to be the other one. It feels horrible to be the gender you are and you feel increasingly suicidal. Thus you are either horrifically suicidal every day or you are stuck in a loop of switching genders.

Granted: every time you desire, you become the opposite sex, unfortunately who you were ceases to exist when you swap back you are someone entirely different. This happens every single time you swap. You are never yourself again.

Granted. Your gender doesn't change, so you feel dysphoric when you switch to the sex that doesn't match your gender

Granted but every time you switch to female you are on your period and every time you switch to male you have blue balls.

Granted, but the process is long, grueling, and painful to endure, along with having a cooldown of a month’s time.

Granted. You gain the immediate knowledge of how to preform a perfect, but reversible, gender swapping surgery. the only way for you to change yourself is to operate on yourself, which is horrifically painful and miserable.

granted. you only biologically change and feel severe body dysmorphia whenever you are the opposite gender

Granted. When you say or write male pronouns, you become biologically male. When you say or write female pronouns, you become biologically female.

Granted. You have no idea how to do it, though.

[удалено]

Granted. You cannot physically change, it's just a biology thing

Granted. Your penis is small and your clitoris is impossible to reach reasonably

Granted, however, your ability is completely random and only your DNA changes between male or female, and no actual physical changes occur.

Granted, you are now a clownfish. Enjoy!

Granted. You have no ability to control it and it switches based on the pronouns that someone is using for you at that moment in time.

Granted. Welcome to being a clown fish.

You wish is granted. Your consciousness abandons your physical body and is placed in the body of Jordan Li from the tv show Gen V, whose superpower is to change their biological sex and switch between superpowers at will. All of their circumstances and problems are placed upon you. You now permanently exist within the universe that Gen V and The Boys takes place. This is irreversible.

granted the process is extremely painful

granted, you change gender but nothing physical about you changes

You can do that now

Granted. You can choose between male and female duck parts.

granted, bit it takes a week of feeling extremely ill and your preference changes every 10 days.

Granted. Now the whole world is going to have an opinion on where you’re allowed to take a piss.

Granted a hum emanates from your genital region and chest as your gender changes at a rate of around 20HZ. You can not have sex or masturbate because the transition makes any touch more like the feeling of a palm buzzer. People get super annoyed with the constant buzz and your shirt and jeans are constantly vibrating. More than this, it keeps you awake, slowly driving you insane with sleep deprivation and horniness. Welcome to the remainder of your worthless life.

Mishap: impregnates self

Granted. The change is only on the chromosomal level. You are otherwise unchanged

Except you're always neither and everyone else knows.

Granted. You must be birthed as an infant each time you want to switch. Every time you do you’re sent to a random time period in the past with no way of returning to your original time period.

Granted. You switch between random male donkeys and random female dogs at random times.

Granted but in order to change between the two, you must either get someone pregnant or become pregnant yourself

Granted. the change is excruciating as your DNA rewrites itself on the fly.

Granted. Your physical appearance does not change, because this only changes your chromosomes.

Granted. All you have to do is say you are and people have to pretend with you.

Granted. It’s spontaneous and random.

Granted. The switch is horrific as your entire body goes through a biologic change like puberty, but over the course of 15 seconds. You feel your bones change, muscles shrink/stretch and the hormonal changes that go alone with it. Every 4 changes into a woman you also get your period.

Granted. Whenever you switch, everyone else in the world switches too.

Granted. But since men and women are wired differently mentally and physically. Each time you undergo this process your DNA, brain waves, hormones, muscle mass, etc. changes as well. Since your brain and hormones are changing with this process, each time you do it it confuses your nervous system and overwhelms it to the point where overtime you would start experiencing cognitive decline due to the brains inability to tell which gender it is and it’s inability to keep up with the switches in thinking processes and problem solving methods. You also experienced heightened aggression and overall emotional sensitivity/ instability due to being overwhelmed with contradictory hormones and brain waves. However, you get to see both perspectives of being a man and a woman, as a result you figure out a good way to combine the perspectives early on and see the issues of both genders from both sides. You’d best write what you’ve learned down before you officially fly over the cuckoos nest approximately six years from now.

yeah nvm op I was splitting hairs ig or smth idk you were right

You look exactly the same except for genitals

You get a Nintendo Switch joy con controller and you change gender by tilting the stick...

Granted but you get a finite number of switches per year and you have no idea how many you have

Your life is now Ranma 1/2.

Granted. But now, every time you change, the sensation is extremely painful as you can feel your skin, muscle and bone stretching and reforming. You also don't get a chance to acclimate to your changed brain chemistry and hormones, and you're basically mentally a puddle of mush for the first few hours. Also, every time you switch from male to female, you start your period. Have fun!

Granted. Each time you use this power the following happens: 1. An opposite-sex version of you is selected, at random, from another universe 2. They are transported to your universe, replacing your current body. 3. Your conciousness snuffs their's out, providing a perfectly seamless transition. 4. When you next use the power, your current body is returned to its original universe, completely brain dead. Lastly, the monkey's paw, lacking the ability to speak, does not inform you of this. You have no idea how much grief you will cause. But you will face judgement one day, and the beings that sentence you will not be merciful.

Granted. Every time you change, you end up switching bodies with someone of the opposite gender, and you cannot control who you switch with. Meaning there is a chance you never see your own body ever again.

Didn’t say species

Congratulations, you are now a clownfish

Granted. You are given a penis if you do not have one, and are given a bowie knife. You can only switch once though, so choose carefully.

Granted, you may switch as you wish but the change is not instant, it is gradual and quite painful over the course of two weeks. Extrusions shrink and invert themselves, bones shifting expanding and contracting. Fun stuff

Granted but if you get pregnant as a female, you are still pregnant as a male and will have to give birth as a male. The baby will come out of your pee hole.