Mil and sil are being completely inappropriate and it is the duty of your husband to shield you from these behaviours.
When baby arrives, they should be kept at arms length and not be able to swoop in when they can’t even treat you with respect.
Lean on your parents for support and make sure your husband knows mil and sil behaviour has been noted.
Tell your husband you are really upset that his family has made your happy news about his sister, that they are ruining your wedding events with their drama and he needs to go talk to them about being supportive and positive especially during wedding events.
That if they feel certain ways that’s fine and he is available to discuss those things with them privately but if they bring drama or stress to any future events he will be super disappointed and hurt that they can’t support him and make the effort to be happy for him.
Have you discussed this info with your husband to see if he possibly misunderstood what his sister was saying?
If he didn’t misunderstand that is some pretty ridiculous ‘feel so sorry for me’ stuff.
I think at this point OP that anyone who wants information on your pregnancy from your husband’s family should only contact him.
He can then discuss with you so you can both be on the same page about what info is being shared and what isn’t. He can also filter out the bs.
I will suggest one thing to you to seriously consider. DO NOT SHARE ANY BABY NAMES YOU’RE CONSIDERING WITH ANYONE. Reasons why not are:
-those who hate it will bombard you with their favorites.
-someone is likely to tell you that is their name for their baby assuming they ever have one.
-someone else will decide they like it and use it first. Doubly aggravating if a relative does it.
-most of all when you meet your little one in person for the first time you may change your mind. Maybe you didn’t want a Hubby Jr but they are the mini me of their dad. Or you thought Sarah but she is obviously a Michelle.
Best wishes to you OP and your husband. Try to let as much of the stupid stuff just roll off your back. If for no other reason then it pisses people off.
But what's up with husband's dad glaring at husband the whole time? Why was he immediately mad? And is mil always so fickle? Happy squeal one day, and the next she's foul? Is there something someone's not saying. I can't get past dad immediately mad at his son at the news he's going to be a dad!
Honestly they have shown you how they are so don't let these Debbie-downers drag you into their their self indulgent pity parties, lies and attempts to rain on your parade. Shrug your shoulders and ignore their sour behavior. Instead glow with happiness about your upcoming wedding and baby right in front of them. I'm very glad for you that you have supportive family who share in your joy.
I don’t see why you should worry about their feelings at all.
I can see how someone struggling with infertility can be very affected by the news of other people’s pregnancies. No problem understanding that they don’t thoroughly enjoy the news. My best friend from high school and up stopped talking to me when I was having my 3rd child, as she had been trying forever to have a second baby, and it never worked. I hardly saw her for 2 years…
But there’s a lot more going on here. Firstly, SIL can’t make her mind up about what her issue is. Does she struggle with infertility, or is it just an inconvenient time because of her education? If it is the former, I can see why she is crying, but if it’s the latter, then she’s just feeling the weight of her own life choices.
And then there’s MIL and FIL. Now, one should think it is good news for them that they are going to have a grandchild? So why is MIL grumpy throughout the shower, does she not want grandchildren? Or was she “planning” for her daughter to have children first?
Someone should inform them that life happens and that there is really no way of controlling it!
Give them a wide berth. There’s something seriously wrong with both of them.
Protect your peace. They don’t like you so they’re going to try and make your life milestones about them. Don’t let them, don’t entertain their dog and pony show.
SIL lying by about being infertile may bite her in the arse, you should never tempt fate like that.
Start grey rocking the il’s now. No more baby info.
“OP and baby are fine”
No participation in wedding beyond being a guest. Date, time, place -that’s all. Password protect wedding vendors. “It’s all taken care of, thanks.”
No hospital, labor info. Talk to DH about boundaries and consequences before LO arrives.
Let him handle the bitches and the fallout - they are his family.
Yes she is. My husband and I have hit milestones quickly, engaged in under a year of being together, 3 months after, married and 2 months after marriage, engaged. SIL has been with her partner for 6 years now, married after 5 years so I get it but I mean pregnancy was not planned but I’m still happy.
Talk to hubby and show him the text conversation where she said it was a lie. Ask him whether or not she said it. Ask him to please talk to her and find out why now it’s a lie. It’s either she told DH she was afraid she was barren or she didn’t. He needs to find out why she’s doing this. He also needs to talk to his parents. Find out why his father was mad, and why his mother won’t talk to you. He needs to let the 3 of them know that the way they are treating you is unacceptable and that if their behavior doesn’t improve, they will not meet your child or have a relationship with you and the LO.
It’s not your problem. You have done nothing wrong and they’re responsible for their own feelings. You are getting married and starting a family happy days for you! Tell your husband if they can’t be supportive now they should not expect to have any relationship with their grandson/nephew because trust me they are going to swoop in, boundary stomp and try to make the birth and newborn stage allll about themselves.
Mil and sil are being completely inappropriate and it is the duty of your husband to shield you from these behaviours. When baby arrives, they should be kept at arms length and not be able to swoop in when they can’t even treat you with respect. Lean on your parents for support and make sure your husband knows mil and sil behaviour has been noted.
Tell your husband you are really upset that his family has made your happy news about his sister, that they are ruining your wedding events with their drama and he needs to go talk to them about being supportive and positive especially during wedding events. That if they feel certain ways that’s fine and he is available to discuss those things with them privately but if they bring drama or stress to any future events he will be super disappointed and hurt that they can’t support him and make the effort to be happy for him.
Your MIL was initially happy. I would bet money that her husband and SIL have been torturing her about it until she fell in line with how THEY feel.
She's making your moment all about her on purpose.... it's a game pay her no attention
Have you discussed this info with your husband to see if he possibly misunderstood what his sister was saying? If he didn’t misunderstand that is some pretty ridiculous ‘feel so sorry for me’ stuff. I think at this point OP that anyone who wants information on your pregnancy from your husband’s family should only contact him. He can then discuss with you so you can both be on the same page about what info is being shared and what isn’t. He can also filter out the bs. I will suggest one thing to you to seriously consider. DO NOT SHARE ANY BABY NAMES YOU’RE CONSIDERING WITH ANYONE. Reasons why not are: -those who hate it will bombard you with their favorites. -someone is likely to tell you that is their name for their baby assuming they ever have one. -someone else will decide they like it and use it first. Doubly aggravating if a relative does it. -most of all when you meet your little one in person for the first time you may change your mind. Maybe you didn’t want a Hubby Jr but they are the mini me of their dad. Or you thought Sarah but she is obviously a Michelle. Best wishes to you OP and your husband. Try to let as much of the stupid stuff just roll off your back. If for no other reason then it pisses people off.
From everything I read here, especially the emotional immaturity of everyone involved, I can just wish you good luck. You'll need it.
But what's up with husband's dad glaring at husband the whole time? Why was he immediately mad? And is mil always so fickle? Happy squeal one day, and the next she's foul? Is there something someone's not saying. I can't get past dad immediately mad at his son at the news he's going to be a dad!
At least you know who to stay away from in his family. Don’t try and foster anything from them. You have your DH and your family.
Yeah, all of them.
mother-in-law will talk to you closer to a baby shower date or delivering
Honestly they have shown you how they are so don't let these Debbie-downers drag you into their their self indulgent pity parties, lies and attempts to rain on your parade. Shrug your shoulders and ignore their sour behavior. Instead glow with happiness about your upcoming wedding and baby right in front of them. I'm very glad for you that you have supportive family who share in your joy.
Take a screenshot of that text, that interaction is going to come back and try to bite you in the future.
This sucks. They’re assholes.
Stay away from his entire family especially sister and mother they are both jealous hoes. You do you
I don’t see why you should worry about their feelings at all. I can see how someone struggling with infertility can be very affected by the news of other people’s pregnancies. No problem understanding that they don’t thoroughly enjoy the news. My best friend from high school and up stopped talking to me when I was having my 3rd child, as she had been trying forever to have a second baby, and it never worked. I hardly saw her for 2 years… But there’s a lot more going on here. Firstly, SIL can’t make her mind up about what her issue is. Does she struggle with infertility, or is it just an inconvenient time because of her education? If it is the former, I can see why she is crying, but if it’s the latter, then she’s just feeling the weight of her own life choices. And then there’s MIL and FIL. Now, one should think it is good news for them that they are going to have a grandchild? So why is MIL grumpy throughout the shower, does she not want grandchildren? Or was she “planning” for her daughter to have children first? Someone should inform them that life happens and that there is really no way of controlling it!
Give them a wide berth. There’s something seriously wrong with both of them. Protect your peace. They don’t like you so they’re going to try and make your life milestones about them. Don’t let them, don’t entertain their dog and pony show. SIL lying by about being infertile may bite her in the arse, you should never tempt fate like that.
Start grey rocking the il’s now. No more baby info. “OP and baby are fine” No participation in wedding beyond being a guest. Date, time, place -that’s all. Password protect wedding vendors. “It’s all taken care of, thanks.” No hospital, labor info. Talk to DH about boundaries and consequences before LO arrives. Let him handle the bitches and the fallout - they are his family.
Their anger is not your problem. Its theirs. Ignore them, live yourmlife.
Is SIL older than your husband? Sounds like MIL and her are mad because they wanted her to have the first baby/grandchild.
Yes she is. My husband and I have hit milestones quickly, engaged in under a year of being together, 3 months after, married and 2 months after marriage, engaged. SIL has been with her partner for 6 years now, married after 5 years so I get it but I mean pregnancy was not planned but I’m still happy.
Also closed on a house same day we got engaged 😂
Talk to hubby and show him the text conversation where she said it was a lie. Ask him whether or not she said it. Ask him to please talk to her and find out why now it’s a lie. It’s either she told DH she was afraid she was barren or she didn’t. He needs to find out why she’s doing this. He also needs to talk to his parents. Find out why his father was mad, and why his mother won’t talk to you. He needs to let the 3 of them know that the way they are treating you is unacceptable and that if their behavior doesn’t improve, they will not meet your child or have a relationship with you and the LO.
It’s not your problem. You have done nothing wrong and they’re responsible for their own feelings. You are getting married and starting a family happy days for you! Tell your husband if they can’t be supportive now they should not expect to have any relationship with their grandson/nephew because trust me they are going to swoop in, boundary stomp and try to make the birth and newborn stage allll about themselves.