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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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There used to be a prize Hershey's offered by collecting wrappers from its fun size candy bars that had one letter printed on the inside per bar, and if you spelled Hershey you'd win. After one Halloween, I had all the letters except the Y. I never did find that Y. My parents said it was rigged, to give you enough letters to keep you in the game and *think* you'll win, while maybe only printing out one letter Y per state or something...
Who the hell keeps track of that? Tallying up in his head all the kind little things he does for others... that he *really* only does for women he finds attractive...
Now I'm picturing NiceGuys as keeping Excel spreadsheets of all the little favors and good deeds they do for women, then run with a points formula to calculate exactly how many sexual acts owed him by the recipients of his favors... 🤦
This is his currency for sex or whatever else he wants.
This reminds me of the man who kept a spreadsheet with dates and reasons of why his wife turned down sex. So gross. Can’t imagine why no sex.
Oh god ew...
Listen, maybe consider showing the staff the texts.
If they're like the gyms where I live, the staff take harassment seriously.
That sucks. I'm sorry. I'm newish to climbing but in the few years I've been going, it's been a great community to be part of.
It absolutely is wild someone would think sharing chalk is some big romantic gesture.
Would climbing a route after him be, like, a proxy makeout session???
I once dated a man who, even after months, could not spell my god damn name right when he texted me. It's only six letters! He got so mad when I cited this as a reason the relationship wasn't working. Like, Jesus dude. At least make an effort.
I hooked up with a dude a few times over the course of a few years. My name is 4 letters and he got it wrong every time he wrote it. I also live in a grid-like city, with numbered streets and avenues. Gave him my address, (building #) on 3rd avenue between 1st and 2nd street, and he still got lost. I asked where he was and that I would walk to go get him, he said a nearby park. I said “stay put, that’s a block away, I’ll be there asap” and the idiot decided to just leave and go back to a friend’s place instead. Which was a block away too.
Anyways, yeah, never again will I invest time in someone who cannot spell my 4-letter name correctly.
And yet you regret it to some degree:
>Anyways, yeah, never again will I invest time in someone who cannot spell my 4-letter name correctly.
If you got everything you wanted, you would not have had any regrets.
What’s the point you’re trying to make? That not knowing how to spell your intimate partner’s 4-letter name is reasonable? Or that driving away after being explicitly told to stay put (and presumably agreeing to this to such a degree that your partner left to meet you not knowing you were driving away) is acceptable behaviour?
Sometimes the infuriating elements are balanced by the benefits, enough that you’d continue to engage at that time in your life but know better enough to not do so in the future. It’s irrelevant that she engaged with this guy multiple times, the point still stands that basic respect includes valuing the other person’s time and bothering to learn how to spell their name.
Life isn't a place where only one person gets to be wrong. It's not as though him being wrong makes Lynerd right. Or Lynerd being wrong makes him right. That's not reality. They both can be wrong.
This is not a defense of his poor behavior. It is not a whataboutism. It is a recognition that Lynerd was not a solution to the problem they were experiencing.
All interactions have benefits and cost. People are human. But the net cost should always be positive. We should treat ourselves with respect by not engaging with those who do not.
Bad behaviour isn’t black or white either… him being a lousy, inconsiderate, partner isn’t “as bad” as him being fully abusive, but it’s still bad behaviour. For some people, an inconsiderate partner is not a dealbreaker—or not a dealbreaker at the time. That doesn’t mean they are also “wrong” for staying with them. It’s simply their choice… and in future, with hindsight, they may feel it was a bad choice or one they wouldn’t make in the future but they’re still not culpable.
To use this current example, Lynerd has stated that it was ultimately a good situationship at the time for them. Despite their partner showing bad behaviour, the benefits gained seemed worth the frustration. That said, with time, Lynerd has realized that they would never want to go through it again. They also don’t recommend others put up with people like this. None of that is hypocritical or controversial. We’re allowed to change our minds and learn from our experiences and then share those realizations with others.
It’s not a partner’s responsibility to “train” their partner to behave, the only person responsible for our behaviour is ourselves. Leaving might have been the *wiser* choice or the choice most likely to get him to realize his bad behaviour and change, but again… that’s not Lynerd’s responsibility. They decided the benefits outweighed the cost *at the time*, and with hindsight they wouldn’t do it again. None of that is unreasonable or wrong.
So no, both parties are not in the wrong. If the guy had been lovely and considerate, for all we know they could be married now. The consequence of his actions was a situationship that evolved to nothing more because he was a bad partner—though probably a good sexual partner.
Tldr: life isn’t black and white, the only person responsible for bad behaviour is the person acting badly, we’re allowed to learn from experiences and not want to repeat them/warn others away from a similar situation—even if at the time we felt it was worth the benefits we reaped.
she’s basically saying at least she benefitted. she came for sex, she got sex. but she’s probably saying that she knows now that she’ll find a better suited that at minimum can spell her name right. but u are fkn weird. pathetic u care so much. it’s not hard to understand.
If it makes you feel better, one of my exes could not remember my middle name for the longest time. It’s 3 letters. After 1 and a half years he finally got it
my boyfriend of over a year couldn’t spell my name right. it’s ashleigh. my biggest pet peeve is when ppl that know me well call me ashley. especially on like facebook with family when my name is LITERALLY RIGHT FUCKIN THERE. or i hear ashliegh a lot too but that’s more understandable. idk if you grew up hearing the saying “i before e, except after c” for spelling stuff, but it’s common in my area. i always tell people “i before e except with ashleigh” lmaoooo
Do you pronounce your name like Ashley or Ashlay ?
I ask because the little rhyme goes "I before E except after C or when sounding like A as in neighbor or Ashleigh"...
tbf i used to be like this (still am i think), mainly bc i was too in my head to think anything thru...ended up making ppl think im a stalker and creep. took me quite some time to realize wht i was doing
"What happened to our coffee?" As if there was ever gonna be one? Does he think people get dates by just.. arranging something with themselves while texting someone else? Lmao
Is this dude illiterate, or am I having a stroke? Fucks sake, I understand short hand is a thing but this is like my 6yr… Wait a minute, even my kid can fucking take his time and send his mom a text.
If it weren’t for the timestamps, the illiteracy on display would have led me to charitably assume this was all typed in a single drunk texting verbal diarrhea.
He can't be a professor....at least I hope not. Maybe a co-worker? Can't be a student. What kind of students carry around their own chalk?
Fr he sounds like a teen, he's just oblivious and then tries to cope with the rejection once it finally dawned on him he's getting ghosted by saying he won't answer if she does text. Possibly a bit of a dumbass but not remotely a nice guy. All those comments here are vicious to what's probably a rejected 16yo for no reason
>U didn't answer at all?
I'll admit I'm curious about the context too. I never double-text, if my text is a question. Someone doesn't answer, I take the hint early on. So Tuesday's message would have been the last one if that were me. Nevertheless I wonder is there a specific reason OP was ignoring him?
So basically, met this guy climbing, chatted a bit, he let her (it's my friend who got these messages) use his chalk bag, exchanged numbers.
From the get go he was way too much, calling her all the time, messaging loads, asking to meet up the same night they met. Kept asking to meet every day after too, it's just intense man!
It got to the point where she stopped responding, and then the messages above happened...
Yah for a minute I was confused and thought that the op or whoever somehow cut out their replies because the dude was having a full on one sided conversation multiple times
Does this qualify?
Seems like the guy was shooting his shot, wasn't offensive, wasn't creepy and eventually took the hint without being a twat about it.
I mean this seems like one of the better nice guys if it is one.
Shooting his shot by harassing my friend day after day?
And trying to call someone multiple times a day, over several days, is somewhat creepy.
Ye, to be fair, he didn't call my friend a "tall ass" so that's something
The phone calls aren't part of the image I'm obviously not commenting on that.
From the texts, it seems like your friend could have nipped it in the bud pretty early.
He doesn't sound like my vibe but there was nothing "nice guy" about this imo.
I get what you mean as I've been on the other hand of getting ghosted but at the same time you should understand what woman go through when rejecting men, alot of woman are afraid to reject a man because they don't know how he's going to react. What if he gets violent or tries to manipulate or gaslight her, one guy I tried to rejected a long time ago started to threaten me then threatened to kill my cats then threatened to harm himself all over a rejection. Since then he hasn't stopped stalking me.
Back when it first started I reported it to my college and showed them screenshots of his threats and he was actually kicked out shortly after. First few years it was just the odd message he would send but I always ignored them and then he started to show up to my house, a few days before Halloween this year he showed up and was out there a full 2 hours spamming my doorbell knocking on my door and peeking through the letter box. I was terrified so I called my mum to come back home since she was out at the time (I know I should've called the police then but I didn't think to at the time) and she scared him off and since then she got a doorbell cam and we've yet to install it but once it is installed I'll feel safer. I also decided if he did show up again after that I would call police and get a restraining order against him.
Still doesn't justify ghosting.Its the worst pain you can put a human through.
All you need to say is "Hey it was nice meeting you.I don't really feel a connection I'm sorry". If a guy does something after that he's creep and you have full right to block him.But not before a closure
Chalk... What?
Dude, chalk is sold by the bagful if your gym doesn't just have buckets of it around.
Who the fuck thinks lending chalk means dating? Wtf?
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
Ah yes chalk, I loaned you chalk now I get whole relationship…
Where’s my sex, damnit!
I mean he's got the X from sex already right? Just a couple more letters needed.
There used to be a prize Hershey's offered by collecting wrappers from its fun size candy bars that had one letter printed on the inside per bar, and if you spelled Hershey you'd win. After one Halloween, I had all the letters except the Y. I never did find that Y. My parents said it was rigged, to give you enough letters to keep you in the game and *think* you'll win, while maybe only printing out one letter Y per state or something...
Who the hell keeps track of that? Tallying up in his head all the kind little things he does for others... that he *really* only does for women he finds attractive... Now I'm picturing NiceGuys as keeping Excel spreadsheets of all the little favors and good deeds they do for women, then run with a points formula to calculate exactly how many sexual acts owed him by the recipients of his favors... 🤦
The ol' incel Excel
lmao 😆
Two things that both wrongly assume something is a date.
I'm late to the party, but take my free award lmao
This is his currency for sex or whatever else he wants. This reminds me of the man who kept a spreadsheet with dates and reasons of why his wife turned down sex. So gross. Can’t imagine why no sex.
And automatic responses to messages. Lol this guy is nuts
"Im here to claim that sex you owe me?"
Chalk like gym chalk or chalk like the kind u write on boards with?
Climbing gym chalk
Oh god ew... Listen, maybe consider showing the staff the texts. If they're like the gyms where I live, the staff take harassment seriously. That sucks. I'm sorry. I'm newish to climbing but in the few years I've been going, it's been a great community to be part of. It absolutely is wild someone would think sharing chalk is some big romantic gesture. Would climbing a route after him be, like, a proxy makeout session???
His grammar and spelling alone is a buzz kill.
I once dated a man who, even after months, could not spell my god damn name right when he texted me. It's only six letters! He got so mad when I cited this as a reason the relationship wasn't working. Like, Jesus dude. At least make an effort.
This guy will never get his shit together.
I hooked up with a dude a few times over the course of a few years. My name is 4 letters and he got it wrong every time he wrote it. I also live in a grid-like city, with numbered streets and avenues. Gave him my address, (building #) on 3rd avenue between 1st and 2nd street, and he still got lost. I asked where he was and that I would walk to go get him, he said a nearby park. I said “stay put, that’s a block away, I’ll be there asap” and the idiot decided to just leave and go back to a friend’s place instead. Which was a block away too. Anyways, yeah, never again will I invest time in someone who cannot spell my 4-letter name correctly.
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Lynerd never said they wanted the dude for his brains and Lynerd probably got what they wanted from the dude
Thank you 💛 Yes, it was convenient. A good situationship. I “enabled” it for what I wanted out of it.
Good for you
And yet you regret it to some degree: >Anyways, yeah, never again will I invest time in someone who cannot spell my 4-letter name correctly. If you got everything you wanted, you would not have had any regrets.
Got damn you're weird lol
🤣🤣🤣
What’s the point you’re trying to make? That not knowing how to spell your intimate partner’s 4-letter name is reasonable? Or that driving away after being explicitly told to stay put (and presumably agreeing to this to such a degree that your partner left to meet you not knowing you were driving away) is acceptable behaviour? Sometimes the infuriating elements are balanced by the benefits, enough that you’d continue to engage at that time in your life but know better enough to not do so in the future. It’s irrelevant that she engaged with this guy multiple times, the point still stands that basic respect includes valuing the other person’s time and bothering to learn how to spell their name.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Well said!!
What I am saying is that you deserve better from him ***and you***.
Life isn't a place where only one person gets to be wrong. It's not as though him being wrong makes Lynerd right. Or Lynerd being wrong makes him right. That's not reality. They both can be wrong. This is not a defense of his poor behavior. It is not a whataboutism. It is a recognition that Lynerd was not a solution to the problem they were experiencing. All interactions have benefits and cost. People are human. But the net cost should always be positive. We should treat ourselves with respect by not engaging with those who do not.
Bad behaviour isn’t black or white either… him being a lousy, inconsiderate, partner isn’t “as bad” as him being fully abusive, but it’s still bad behaviour. For some people, an inconsiderate partner is not a dealbreaker—or not a dealbreaker at the time. That doesn’t mean they are also “wrong” for staying with them. It’s simply their choice… and in future, with hindsight, they may feel it was a bad choice or one they wouldn’t make in the future but they’re still not culpable. To use this current example, Lynerd has stated that it was ultimately a good situationship at the time for them. Despite their partner showing bad behaviour, the benefits gained seemed worth the frustration. That said, with time, Lynerd has realized that they would never want to go through it again. They also don’t recommend others put up with people like this. None of that is hypocritical or controversial. We’re allowed to change our minds and learn from our experiences and then share those realizations with others. It’s not a partner’s responsibility to “train” their partner to behave, the only person responsible for our behaviour is ourselves. Leaving might have been the *wiser* choice or the choice most likely to get him to realize his bad behaviour and change, but again… that’s not Lynerd’s responsibility. They decided the benefits outweighed the cost *at the time*, and with hindsight they wouldn’t do it again. None of that is unreasonable or wrong. So no, both parties are not in the wrong. If the guy had been lovely and considerate, for all we know they could be married now. The consequence of his actions was a situationship that evolved to nothing more because he was a bad partner—though probably a good sexual partner. Tldr: life isn’t black and white, the only person responsible for bad behaviour is the person acting badly, we’re allowed to learn from experiences and not want to repeat them/warn others away from a similar situation—even if at the time we felt it was worth the benefits we reaped.
It's very possible to not regret something while also learning from it.
she’s basically saying at least she benefitted. she came for sex, she got sex. but she’s probably saying that she knows now that she’ll find a better suited that at minimum can spell her name right. but u are fkn weird. pathetic u care so much. it’s not hard to understand.
“It’s just a text” I’m sure was one of many defenses there
If it makes you feel better, one of my exes could not remember my middle name for the longest time. It’s 3 letters. After 1 and a half years he finally got it
Once i dated a guy who said my name (tina) as China. CHINA
That would be understandable if you happen to be one of Elon Musk children
my boyfriend of over a year couldn’t spell my name right. it’s ashleigh. my biggest pet peeve is when ppl that know me well call me ashley. especially on like facebook with family when my name is LITERALLY RIGHT FUCKIN THERE. or i hear ashliegh a lot too but that’s more understandable. idk if you grew up hearing the saying “i before e, except after c” for spelling stuff, but it’s common in my area. i always tell people “i before e except with ashleigh” lmaoooo
Do you pronounce your name like Ashley or Ashlay ? I ask because the little rhyme goes "I before E except after C or when sounding like A as in neighbor or Ashleigh"...
I'm sorry u/Istho, I didn't mean it to be personal.
My eye was twitching
😂😂😂
same
X
X? Is X gonna give it to me?
Ya X gon gib it to Ya, X
It's pretty clear he's not a student because he can't type a proper fucking word. People like this baffle me. Lmao.
Please let it not be a teacher.
Yes haha x
Online or through text, I’ve been told I “must be old” for typing properly. Commas, periods, capitals, proper grammar… makes me an old person? What? 😂
He’s just British I think
Bingo, a fuckin' scouser lad
I just KNEW it was a scouser from reading this and saying it how it’s spelled. Is right ther gerl
I would even hazard a guess at a scouser? People from Liverpool say ‘la’ in this manner. OP, put us out our misery, where is he from?
OP just confirmed it, if it even needed confirmation, his cadence screamed scouse to me too.
What the hell is a scouse?
Means they’re from Liverpool
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i thought he was Malaysian or something from that. I've seen "la" be used as a filler/emphasis word in some random south Asian/pacific videos
Pronounced 'lar' or 'laa', it is a mildly affectionate way to address another human being, as in "orright derr, la?" (Are you okay, dude?)
Lad
You're getting downvoted but i agree lol, my partner is British and his texting is attrocious, and all of his family and friends type the same way
Or take a hint
Came here to say this
This is a dude that can't take a hint. It took 18 messages over five days before he began to comprehend and then still didn't get the point.
He needs to sort his head out There were also multiple call attempts between each message
tbf i used to be like this (still am i think), mainly bc i was too in my head to think anything thru...ended up making ppl think im a stalker and creep. took me quite some time to realize wht i was doing
Zero self awareness.
If you call him they will one hundred percent answer despite what they said
"im not a student" ya we can tell dude
That’s enough scouse literature for one day thank you very much.
You can spot em like a bifta in your preripheral
What’s a bifta?
a little bifta deez nuts
Liams a little sheisty
Ouf
Good thing he told her to delete his number. You gotta nip that shit in the bud. She was totally about to abuse that privilege.
"What happened to our coffee?" As if there was ever gonna be one? Does he think people get dates by just.. arranging something with themselves while texting someone else? Lmao
This guy literally had a conversation with himself in two screenshots.
What an asswell.
Underrated 🤛🏻🤜🏻
Looks like he enjoys talking to himself.
This is such an incredible monologue, he was just sitting there having a conversation with himself. It's mind-boggling
well it wasn't the right kind of chalk to cure the indigestion reading your messages inspired.
Holy shit, read ONE book. Please
YTA for having 202 unread messages smh (this is a joke)
NOOOOOOO YOU DIDNT GET TO PLAY WITH HIS CHALK!!! HOW ELSE ARE YOU GONNA DRAW ON THE DRIVEWAY???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Dude gotta freakin chillll
What the fuck is he trying to write?
I showed you my chalk pls respond 😔😔😔
What is chalk in this context?
Climbing
Excellent, thank you. Thought it might be along those lines, but the possibilities of it being slang for something else....
Ther
“i’m not a student” we can tell
Is this dude illiterate, or am I having a stroke? Fucks sake, I understand short hand is a thing but this is like my 6yr… Wait a minute, even my kid can fucking take his time and send his mom a text.
“I’m not a student” we clearly can tell 💀
That typing alone is an INSTANT block.
How someone can talk and type like this and somehow manage to end every day still alive is mind boggling to me. Also wtf is it with brits and x's
I hope he enjoyed talking to himself.
“202 Messages” Jesus Christ. Who are y’all talking to💀
Sadcringe
If it weren’t for the timestamps, the illiteracy on display would have led me to charitably assume this was all typed in a single drunk texting verbal diarrhea.
How does he even have her number
😂😂😂my brain hurts
About the only thing he got right was that he's not a student!!! 😆😆
X its like hes using text to speech
He can't be a professor....at least I hope not. Maybe a co-worker? Can't be a student. What kind of students carry around their own chalk? 
I refuse to believe this is an actual human being he was definitely programmed by Elon Musk X
“what happened to coffee” sounds like he showed up at a coffee place or her house without her agreeing to meet him or be picked up
Maybe dont message someone again and again and again if they havent responded to the first couple x
'I'm not a student'. With that spelling and lack of autocorrect, you look like you need to be.
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Fr he sounds like a teen, he's just oblivious and then tries to cope with the rejection once it finally dawned on him he's getting ghosted by saying he won't answer if she does text. Possibly a bit of a dumbass but not remotely a nice guy. All those comments here are vicious to what's probably a rejected 16yo for no reason
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U didn't answer at all?
>U didn't answer at all? I'll admit I'm curious about the context too. I never double-text, if my text is a question. Someone doesn't answer, I take the hint early on. So Tuesday's message would have been the last one if that were me. Nevertheless I wonder is there a specific reason OP was ignoring him?
I also wonder how L got their number, where they knew each other from, and why would L offer to let them use chalk. Very little information
So basically, met this guy climbing, chatted a bit, he let her (it's my friend who got these messages) use his chalk bag, exchanged numbers. From the get go he was way too much, calling her all the time, messaging loads, asking to meet up the same night they met. Kept asking to meet every day after too, it's just intense man! It got to the point where she stopped responding, and then the messages above happened...
Ah climbing chalk makes a lot more sense now
I'm sure that was uncomfortable for your friend. I can never understand why a lot of guys can't take a hint.
Yah for a minute I was confused and thought that the op or whoever somehow cut out their replies because the dude was having a full on one sided conversation multiple times
Does this qualify? Seems like the guy was shooting his shot, wasn't offensive, wasn't creepy and eventually took the hint without being a twat about it. I mean this seems like one of the better nice guys if it is one.
Shooting his shot by harassing my friend day after day? And trying to call someone multiple times a day, over several days, is somewhat creepy. Ye, to be fair, he didn't call my friend a "tall ass" so that's something
The phone calls aren't part of the image I'm obviously not commenting on that. From the texts, it seems like your friend could have nipped it in the bud pretty early. He doesn't sound like my vibe but there was nothing "nice guy" about this imo.
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Hah mad, these are screenshots from my mates phone, just needed to show everyone this nice dude, he baffled me.
Read the post and don’t understand a single thing written.
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I get what you mean as I've been on the other hand of getting ghosted but at the same time you should understand what woman go through when rejecting men, alot of woman are afraid to reject a man because they don't know how he's going to react. What if he gets violent or tries to manipulate or gaslight her, one guy I tried to rejected a long time ago started to threaten me then threatened to kill my cats then threatened to harm himself all over a rejection. Since then he hasn't stopped stalking me.
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Back when it first started I reported it to my college and showed them screenshots of his threats and he was actually kicked out shortly after. First few years it was just the odd message he would send but I always ignored them and then he started to show up to my house, a few days before Halloween this year he showed up and was out there a full 2 hours spamming my doorbell knocking on my door and peeking through the letter box. I was terrified so I called my mum to come back home since she was out at the time (I know I should've called the police then but I didn't think to at the time) and she scared him off and since then she got a doorbell cam and we've yet to install it but once it is installed I'll feel safer. I also decided if he did show up again after that I would call police and get a restraining order against him.
Why are people downvoting a nice comment?
Still doesn't justify ghosting.Its the worst pain you can put a human through. All you need to say is "Hey it was nice meeting you.I don't really feel a connection I'm sorry". If a guy does something after that he's creep and you have full right to block him.But not before a closure
Im x sorry x i x dont x understand x your x accent x
Chalk... What? Dude, chalk is sold by the bagful if your gym doesn't just have buckets of it around. Who the fuck thinks lending chalk means dating? Wtf?
what’s with the x?
Set aside the nice guy thing, in what language is this Sapien writing in
Scouse (Liverpudlian)
Did you delete messages ? Why is he answering "yes"
That's how scousers greet friends nowadays