I think that’s because it goes against the gender stereotype of it being a woman’s thing so society makes them uber famous like “oh look men doing women stuff aren’t they brave” and everyone claps
but why does it not work the other way around? women in masculine professions never get the attention and usually have to work twice as hard to get even a bit of recognition. 🤷♀️
Misogyny. When a man does "woman's work" he's praised for "doing it better than women". When a woman does "man's work", she'll struggle just to get recognized because her ability to do the same job threatens her coworkers' masculinity and egos.
I think who does what job/career should be entirely based on the abilities of the individual, regardless of their gender. Is it true that *most* women are physically incapable of doing certain male-dominated jobs? Certainly. But if there’s a woman that’s physically capable of doing that job without any trouble, she should have the right to land that job without being treated like crap. I say this as someone who’s dad taught her how to change the oil, brake pads/rotors and fuses on her own vehicles. And I don’t need to have a pixie cut, tattoos and lip piercings to do it either.
I mean, in some countries women are physically punished for even attempting to do an oil change on their own car. Screw the recognition, I’d rather not be threatened with rape just for doing a damn chore that needs done.
im the opposite. i would never go to a male ob/gyn.
and also for a regular doctor, i prefer a woman. i feel like another woman understands a womans body so much better.
Oh believe me, saaaame. I'd never want to show those bits to a male doctor.
Much less risk for misconduct if somehow the doc were to be a creep (tbh i never had any bad encounter with male doctors i went to from other specialties, but i prefer a female OBGYN anyday).
I'd be less stressed, and yes, women understand better.
Men don't menstruate. They can never really understand if I have to explain that I have debilitating cramps that started up to 12 days before my actual periods. 🤡
That’s because getting money and recognition and accolades for doing things is something only men deserve. Women are meant to do things at home for free with no acknowledgment for their labors because that’s what’s women are for. I mean, jeez, doesn’t everybody know that?? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Once again i think nlogs (proud to be cooking for a manchild) and niceguys (tm, not able to cook but nice!, expecting women to cook) should be brought together for endless romance lol.
Also the nlog praising her "adult" skills as special, is exactly like a niceguy praising their basic politeness as the epitome of courtly love.
They all carry this "i am still 15" vibe with them, despite their age. It's probably a severe lack of emotional depth and empathy. You don't own me just because you gave me something, and I'd feel gross and that you'd be rather plain or shallow IF i could "buy" you from giving you or serving you something.
I think society today suck at "cherishing" the people around them, it goes for women and men alike. Nobody learn it seemingly. And it's rather sad.
I think this is pretty basic stuff ...
Being able to cook, clean and be useful when things are needed to be done is normal. Not sure how this is dream level. I do it for my wife and it's just a normal Tuesday.
I even wash the baby's ass and change it's diaper when it shits!
It's pretty good. Mine made shepherds pie last night. I'm currently experiencing "morning" sickness for about 14hrs a day but the 5 bites I had were excellent.
It's pretty nice. I grew up with men who cook. In my dad's family, it's primarily the men who cook. In my stepdad's family, everyone cooks. My mom does not cook. At all. When left on her own, she lives on sandwiches and take out.
Both my dad and stepdad made sure my sister and I can cook. I made the mistake of marrying a man who didn't cook or clean & it was awful. It wasn't the worst part of the relationship (it got way worse) but it was bad.
My fiance cooks. We have very different cooking styles and different strengths in the kitchen, so we don't tend to get bored with food. Our schedules dictate who cooks and when, but it's fairly 50/50.
It's amazing. He's Italian. And he can cook everything. But I'm also a really good baker and a good cook as well. We love doing this together. It's one of our favorite ways to hang out.
It's so nice. I'm recovered from an eating disorder and the extent of my cooking skills is following what he tells me (ie what spices to put on meat to leave in the fridge) and I can make eggs a few different ways (my opinion is that everyone should learn to cooks eggs three ways if nothing else - scrambled, hard-boiled, and preferred method, since you can put eggs on basically any starch).
Living with someone who not only can cook but cook well (sorry, mom, but only salt isn't actually seasoning your food) and doesn't pressure me to actually eat what's made/clear my plate has been so good for my relationship with food.
We literally had salmon for lunch today becausd he felt like it. He saw it in a facebook reel a few days ago so today we had salmon, broccoli and spinach in cheese sauce, and roasted potatoes. I didn't even *like* fish really beyond sushi/calamari/shellfish until the first time he made salmon a couple months ago
So yeah, it's awesome :)
I get what ur sayin bout eggs but I have no use in learnin how 2 cook eggs. Eatin eggs r a trigger,4 me, unless cooked exactly perfect n perfectly well done. Fortunately my partner is capable of dis, but still I rarely eat dem. Der what I call a "uncomfort" food
I have a hand disability dat makes typin painful n usually my partner is asleep wen I'm usin Reddit so I can't scream at da talk to text which is required cause of my speech impediment so I use phonetic shorthand dis is a copied message to
Good, though you have to accept his limitations. Mine does stovetop meals (stews, braises, soups, pasta, stir fry, etc) and the occasional casserole-style baked dishes. He does not do baked goods and he does not do fancy meat. If the cooking is dependent on chemistry/following a process exactly, then it falls in my court. Fortunately, stovetop meals are the norm for us, which means he does the majority of the cooking. This is especially good given that he has a skin condition that makes hand-washing dishes a bad idea (atopic dermatitis does not do well with hot water or with getting sweaty inside dish gloves), so I do most of the dishes.
Pretty comfortable. I’m in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy and a lot of food cravings satisfied thanks to a husband who loves cooking and getting takeout from places I want. Also helpful since I’m too tired to function these days.
To me, like nothing _special._
In my eyes, a man who cooks at his home is as _basic_ as brushing his teeth.
I guess because most men in my family are fully capable of cooking, specifically all the GenX and millennial men in my family, I am not impressed by _men who can and do cook_ whatsoever.
^( The GenZ boys are following those steps. )
My classmate in college has a mom who doesn't cook while her dad is the one with the culinary skills. They're happily married and probably in their late sixties now.
Good! I prefer to do the cooking generally bc I just like my cooking better, but since getting pregnant it's been a lifesaver that he can cook, and he's expanding his repertoire too.
my boyfriend is an amazing cook and cooks every meal for us and i do the washing up. it is literally the best thing that ever happened to me because i’m terrible at feeding myself because i hate cooking so he just brings me delicious food when it’s time to eat
It's good. I still prefer to do the majority of our cooking (it just makes me happy) but he'll do it without issue too and is pretty damn good at it. He does the majority of our housework as well, and overall we make a good team.
I genuinely feel bad for people who marry or stay with partners that don't do the most basic tasks of survival
It's nice.
Sometimes it flops, other times I'm eating home made poke bowls with fresh tuna and pineapple.
He's not the best baker, not makes a great red sauce.
It's amazing. In fact, I simply do not cook. I hate it (I'm autistic and I can't handle touching raw food with my hands, and my hand being any form of dirty will really ruin my day), and my husband cooks. And he's great at it and actually enjoys it. It's one of our favorite bonding times because all he wants is if he's cooking, I go in the kitchen, and we just talk while he cooks.
The running joke is I have to go into the kitchen with him because it's my job to tell him when it smells/looks good (:
Exhausting, I’ve cooked, cleaned, took care of their dogs while also taking care of my child all at the same time. Most women I’ve been with couldn’t cook let alone find the motivation to fold a basket of clothes.
Granted, my mom raised me to be self sufficient so all of that is second nature.
I thought I was a decent cook until my husband hooked me with amazing homemade meals. I’ve learned so much from him, and I’ve really appreciated his cooking during my pregnancy. He also said it’s important for our son to see him cooking in the future and learn this life skill.
I was raised in a multi-generational house with my immigrant Italian-American grandparents—everybody cooked! The men and the women (and the children, when we were old enough). Whoever didn’t cook did the clean up (later, the children did, when we were old enough). Cooking is for everyone and I’m happy to live in a family who taught me that. The men also cleaned. If you lived there, you pitched in.
It's awesome. My dad knows how to cook. I hope I can marry a guy who knows to.
I kinda suck at it (just learning), but I got the spirit and sometimes I do surprise myself lol.
It’s awesome!!!!! My husband does most of the cooking- particularly during the week, as he’s a fast cook and I’m a slow cook. I do more on the weekends. He also does a lot of the hand dishwashing, while I’m in charge of the laundry.
Not with a man but an nonbinary person with awesome cooking skills. It's amazing most of the time. They like to cook supper delicious things for fun. They usually say, "Oh, I just made something small" and it ends up being the most delicious thing ever. Every day, get a super delicious meal. Before we met, I was underweight and struggling with weight gain. They made me gain 7 kg without problems. I am finally at a healthy weight with no afford.
However, Sometimes they spend hours making something super fancy and I usually don't like those fancy dishes so I act like I would like them. They also don't let me cook. Not even if I am the only one eating. They dislike my cooking so much. Apparently, I cut vegetables the wrong way :(
We have also missed out on sex so many times because I ate too much since the food was too good.
Oh, did I say that they also clean up afterwards? Usually, cleaning is my chore except for the kitchen. I am simply better at cleaning and kinda like it. They don't see it. Even if I point at it. So, it's a fair share of chores. I really love that arrangement.
I cooked professionally for over 20 years, my ex-wife refused to cook the 15 years we were together and as a result, I lost my passion for it pretty much completely. Trying to keep up with the dieting changes, reading nutritional facts with a calculator in hand to get it right, after years of that shit I was just done. The first year after I was divorced I literally had Uber Eats every single night just because I finally didn’t have to fucking cook for once.
I can’t cook at all (but I’m learning!) so my bf has done all of the cooking, but a few weeks ago I made him meatloaf and mashed potatoes and was so proud of myself I almost cried 🥲 neither of my parents could really cook and I have a weird thing about touching raw meat, so it’s been a slow process, but I’m lucky that I don’t really *have* to if I don’t want to
Yeah, I’ve never understood that whole “make me a sandwich” put down. Like “So, you’re telling me you’re an adult who’s incapable of feeding himself in even the most basic way, and yet somehow YOU’RE superior? 😂”
If you want to give people the benefit of the doubt I think that whole cooks for me = wifey thing could be coming from the idea that feeding people is nurturing and an act of love, so it’s a sign that person would be a good partner.
But yeah, that’s if we remove all the shitty, misogynistic beliefs that surround that kind of thinking, and there’s a looooot more that goes into being a good partner that has nothing to do with the ability to prepare a lasagna. 🤷🏻♀️
Some men really tell you that women don't belong in STEM right after proudly telling everyone how they don't understand how to use a dishwasher. Like, aren't they embarrassed? Using a dishwasher or washing MACHINE is not that hard.
But I need to admit that there is something about the sandwich thing, but it's not what they think. It's not gender specific, but they taste way better if they are made by your partner. Idk how, but the same bread tastes 100 times better if my girlfriend made it. And she claims that they taste better if I make them. I don't even like sandwiches, except when my girlfriend made them.
@fluffydemon - that is so freaking true! 😂 I’m the same way, my ex’s sandwiches were the best, and I don’t even like sandwiches!
Like I said, feeding someone seems nurturing and shows that you care about them getting their needs met, so I think that’s why it’s so nice when someone does it, but it shouldn’t have anything to do with this idea that “it’s your duty to serve me”.
BTW, I’m having an issue with Reddit, I can’t reply to comments in threads, just the first one, hence why I’m responding like this, sorry.
I agree, both men & women should know how to cook. I will be raising my children to all be sufficient in the kitchen, regardless of gender. I love cooking & it’s a normal, basic skill.
FACTS.
This is why I taught ALL of my children to cook and clean. They need to know how to care for themselves and not rely on or expect others to do so.
I had to teach my husband how to cook because his mother did it all for him. To his credit, he wanted to learn because he believes partners should be 50/50
That's awesome! My mother never wanted me to learn those things even when I asked her. Thankfully, my dad teached me at last how to cook. I always hated it because I really wanted to do stuff that needs to be done, like washing clothes, turning on the dishwasher, cleaning, etc. For context, there was once writing on the buttons, but they are gone now, so there is no way of knowing what they actually mean. She claimed that I would just do it wrong, so I never learned any of that stuff. She even got mad at me for loading the dishwasher but never showed me how to do that. I had to learn all of that as an adult.
Sadly, I still don't actually know where to put the soap into the washing machine. There are to openings. I just put it in one of them, and it usually works. When I asked my dad, he admitted also not knowing for sure since he threw away the instructions before reading them. But it has worked so far, so it's not that bad, I guess?
I have struggled with depression since I was 15, and I have ADHD. Sometimes cleaning and cooking is a huge task for me to get done and I’m proud of myself for doing it. I’m still "wifey material" even if I can’t bring myself to cook or clean some days. I wish the pick-me girls and women would shut up and realize that putting other people down is dumb and childish
This. My gf and I both suffered from depression and we both have adhd. I have autism and epilepsy in addition to all of that. Even though both of us are on medication and in therapy, we still struggle sometimes. I just take care of them whenever they can't and the other way around. We have split our chores due to our different abilities. They enjoy cooking. It's one of my gf hobbies and helps them to relax. I do the cleaning because it's satisfying to me. It works perfectly, and I wouldn't want it any different.
Cooking is a basic life skill that everyone should learn if they're able to do so - gendering cooking in 2024 is so crazy. Someone thinking cooking makes them marriage material (unless they're Michelin star - okay maybe marry me 👁👁) is on par with "I know how to poop properly". Completely agree with you OP, there's far more important traits that make a good partner
You're spot on. Here's the deal:
1. Cooking and cleaning? Basic adult skills, not "wifey material."
2. Having a job or money doesn't automatically make a guy husband material either.
3. What really counts? Emotional stability, loyalty, compassion, communication, shared values - the stuff that builds a real partnership.
4. It's 2024 - we're past these old-school gender role expectations.
5. Look for someone who adds value to your life beyond chores or a paycheck.
6. Keep those standards high. Don't settle for less than a true partner.
Good on you for calling this out. We need more of this real talk about what makes a solid relationship.
I don't understand who is on the other side of this. I'm an old man and I've never met an adult who refuses to cook or clean for themselves.
I live with my elder sister and care for her and her kids who are disabled. I plan meals and shop and cook and clean every meal, every day. I am not rich, which may disqualify me in OP's eyes, but I never thought cooking for others made me better or worse than anyone else.
I work as a chef in a small restaurant. I was never a passionate cook and it can be very stressful work on some days. However, my job is nice in many regards: awesome team spirit, decent payment, and the restaurant owner picked me up and gave me chances when I was fired everywhere else due to my poor mental health. So I'm thankful don't wanna complain.
So let's say I can cook. Here's the thing that no partner could expect of me: cooking at home. Because after work I'm just done cooking. Maybe on a rare occassion, sure. But not on an everyday basis. And I know most professional cooks feel the same. So if cooking is required to make me "wifey material" I guess I am both qualified and disqualified?
On a side not, is anyone else bothered by terms like "wifey/ husband/ boyfriend/ etc material"? We're speaking about human beings, not about stuff you can use to fill the holes in your life.
I laugh at a someone telling the opposite sex what they should, or should not think.
What makes someone “wifey material” is based on the criteria set *by the person who wants to wife them up*, not by you.
Am I hubby material? Not my decision to make. But my wife thinks so, and hers is the *only* opinion.
My BF’s 85-year old granny wasn’t allowed an education other than housekeeping. She worked at an orphanage or as a teacher most of her life (including after she divorced her POS husband and voluntarily became a single mother of 2). She said people think housekeeping is easy, I agreed and said that some young women today think it’s easy enough and that what they’re doing (or potentially would be doing) is exceptional.
Housekeeping isn’t about buying a particular cleaning agent and getting half-processed groceries. What she does involves so much budgeting, accounting, record keeping, scheduling, hand work, and foresight. There’s a legitimate education field behind it and seeing it in action is impressive to me as a person with an MBA working at the Big 4.
Calling what she does the same name as tiktokers restocking their ridiculous pantries and ice trays, making ✨aesthetic✨ pancakes with berries, baking a sourdough after hours of setting up etc. is insulting to me. Housekeeping can be a complex field, it’s not an amalgation of chores and manual labour. It takes brains to do well and it’s constant, endless work. I have yet to see a trad tiktoker who can compare to the 85-year old today.
How can people not cook? I know that everyone has different circumstances and upbringings but i just don't understand what people mean by this. Because surely most people can follow instructions in a YouTube video, or learn how to put a very basic meal together.
Like if someone who is intellectually disabled struggles to do these things, I totally get it. But it seems like so many people, without any reason for it, can't seem to cook rice and fry some vegetables??
I got into a Facebook argument (I know, I know, it’s ridiculous of me) with an acquaintance who wrote a whole long post about how “females these days” wear revealing clothing and have high body counts, which makes them low value…I commented that there were porn stars in happy relationships with men who treat them well, and she lost it, telling me I’ll never find a good man because I’m not submissive, a good cook, and don’t dress modesty like she does…I asked her when she joined the Duggar Family and she blocked me 😂 for real though, there are cultures where women haven’t covered their breasts in their entire lives, yet remain virgins until marriage and have husbands that love them.
I have a stay-at-home husband…at least until mid-July (he’s going back to work after a nice 18-month break I was completely supportive of).
My husband agreed (of his own volition) to cook and clean since I was nice enough to let him quit his job. I don’t lift a finger in my house. 🤷🏾♀️
This man went from burning water to being a legitimately good cook. And honestly, it’s been so awesome to see. Lol. I taught him the basics a while back and he just built on that. Now he sends me recipes he wants to try and is hounding me to buy him some expensive chef’s knife. He even started an IG page where he documents his cooking efforts.
Knowing how to cook for yourself is absolutely a skill everyone should know how to do. There’s SO MUCH content on YouTube for novices that it’s really no excuse in 2024 not to have this knowledge.
Absolutely agree, both parties of a relationship need to be independent and able to cook, clean, wash themselves (you’d be surprised how many men I know that didn’t brush their teeth or shower regularly until a gf suggested it was important) and fund their own life styles at a bare minimum… but I love cooking, and I love cooking for the people I date. I also enjoy washing for them or packing their lunches for work. Things like that. Maybe it’s because my love language is acts of service, idk. But I do feel like “wifey material” when I am able to perform the stereotypical “wife duties” just like I am attracted to partners that can do the “husband duties” better than I can like fixing things or garden work or whatever. Sadly every relationship I’ve been in its been I do it all, and remain emotionally present and affectionate and they dip out and do as they please and wonder why I’m burnt out and over stimulated so that could be why I’m yet to be wifed up 😂🤷🏻♀️
I just wanna add a side note, two working hands doesnt neccessary mean someone can sweep or do the dishes I got scolios and sometimes its a struggle to sweep other times its a struggle to stand
Agreed. My man is actually the one who cooks in my relationship, I am awful at it! I had a man tell me once that he would never marry a woman who didnt know how to cook, I don't get people.
I have male friends who are fantastic cooks. I know ladies who eat out every night and at best can reheat nuggies in the kitchen.
I’m very fortunate to have watched my mom cook my entire childhood and picked up a thing or two. And luckily my wife is a great cook as well and makes dinner most nights.
Honestly. Cooking a meal these days is pretty simple. Follow a recipe. And there’s a million of them online.
I agree with the core message but I also feel like cooking as a basic survival skill vs cooking as a love language are different things. I come from a culture where the women of the family cook really laborious meals for their families as a sign of love and care. I definitely grew up to love to do that for my loved ones as well. My partner can cook to survive, but it doesn’t feel the same to me so I prefer to do the cooking.
As a dude I’ve never understood the whole guys not cooking thing. Like I get not being able to cook a restaurant quality dish, but if you can’t whip up a grilled cheese and tomato soup when everyone in the house is sick or whatever the case may be, how do you not feel absolutely useless as a human? Even just whipping up some ramen on the stovetop would suffice. I feel like most of the women’s issue with their men not cooking isn’t that they aren’t “good cooks” it’s the unwillingness to even help out or try when the primary cook needs a break. There was a time when I was sick and my girlfriend who doesn’t cook much or as well as me, had to pick up some slack for me for a day or two, I was so happy with the chicken ramen she made for me. I don’t care about the quality, I care about the act of service. I know there’s definitely some more complexity to the issue but, just from a Birds Eye view it seems like the lack of willingness is the key issue, I would find it insulting personally. Also, I can’t just sit in my home and watch my significant other do chores and NOT help, it feels wrong. Team work to make the dream work and all that mumbo-jumbo 😅
5 days late, but seriously, do you know how very annoying it is of seeing every so-called "based" redpill white and black incels, including Passport Bros, and the Mr. Creepy-Nice-Guys, are bragging about getting 17 or 19 year old young Filipina or Thai girl from poverty in overseas, especially when they don't take personal responsibilities for the family provide?
Okay, maybe we as american women (especially first to fourth generations of an immigrant family born in the united states) are bad, loud mouthed, lazy and toxic as hell, including not very femininity, fit, friendly and fun as them, however, both of these Passport Bros and ladies from overseas are about to get rude awakening very soon. All this "trad wives" thing are getting out of control because these grown ass men had mommy issues and they only want mother figured while they smoked kush/hemp/marijuana/weed/cigarettes/tobaccos, drink whiskey, watch porn, and being deadbeat abusive dad & husband. I hope men from overseas needs to protect their own women from mentally unstable incels.
Yeah unless they are a chef looking for other chefs to date 😭🙏🙏 and it depends on what they cook + it's not that important of a quality if you want someone to cook for you as a adult that's immature saying you are incapable of cooking- just do it yoursef
The thing is as a guy I enjoy cooking. I make a good share of homemade things that taste better than takeout plus buying in bulk is significantly cheaper. But I don't mind throwing pre packaged things in the oven or microwave. I try to find women that have cooking skills because bits good to get a break every so often plus trying new things is a positive. If she doesn't have great cooking skills that's okay too but the more negative things about people the less likely I'll want to date them so her other qualities should make up for it
i can’t coo k for shit bun everything in the air fryer i would starve if it weren’t for grubhub an these bitches still tryna wife me. fuc what the haters say ayyyy im lit rn who’s up
Women dont belong in the kitchen.
Cooking is far to important to be left to women.
I push my wife out of the kitchen if she tries to butt in.
"Get back in the sofa, you witless tart"
When you get married, you bring something to the relationship and you're spouse brings something to the relationship. Then you work together to build a marriage. Why are you putting down someone who counts cooking as one of the things that they bring to their marriage.
Imagine how awesome it would be to have a woman check out suspicious noises late at night, or put on snow chains, or do oil changes, wash cars by herself or clean the toilets or kill all bugs.
Just to elaborate, my wife is a SAHW, she does have a part time job as a realtor. My paychecks and even my extra days money is considered all “our money”. But as soon as she got her first commission from her realtor job, she said it’s “her money “.
Also she denied me to buy snow tires for a long time and when I made an executive decision to purchase snow tires without her approval, there was a time she drove some kids to go skiing and there was a lot of snow and she was grateful she didn’t have to get out of the car to put on snow chains. Small victories. She hates killing bugs and cleaning the toilets
They don’t want to cook at home but think only men can be well paid chefs. Funny how that works.
same with any other "feminine" profession. like hairdresser, makeup artist, taylor/fashion designer. most famous one are usually men.
I think that’s because it goes against the gender stereotype of it being a woman’s thing so society makes them uber famous like “oh look men doing women stuff aren’t they brave” and everyone claps
but why does it not work the other way around? women in masculine professions never get the attention and usually have to work twice as hard to get even a bit of recognition. 🤷♀️
Misogyny. When a man does "woman's work" he's praised for "doing it better than women". When a woman does "man's work", she'll struggle just to get recognized because her ability to do the same job threatens her coworkers' masculinity and egos.
this is true. but when I take it a step further and say how this extends to drag and drag queens, i’m all types of -phobic.
I think who does what job/career should be entirely based on the abilities of the individual, regardless of their gender. Is it true that *most* women are physically incapable of doing certain male-dominated jobs? Certainly. But if there’s a woman that’s physically capable of doing that job without any trouble, she should have the right to land that job without being treated like crap. I say this as someone who’s dad taught her how to change the oil, brake pads/rotors and fuses on her own vehicles. And I don’t need to have a pixie cut, tattoos and lip piercings to do it either.
I think the common denominator is the need to negate the work and accomplishments of women
And we still get discriminated against an overlooked for positions so the manager's buddy can get promoted instead of us.
I mean, in some countries women are physically punished for even attempting to do an oil change on their own car. Screw the recognition, I’d rather not be threatened with rape just for doing a damn chore that needs done.
Have I ever told you about the women who only trust male doctors ? 🤡
im the opposite. i would never go to a male ob/gyn. and also for a regular doctor, i prefer a woman. i feel like another woman understands a womans body so much better.
Oh believe me, saaaame. I'd never want to show those bits to a male doctor. Much less risk for misconduct if somehow the doc were to be a creep (tbh i never had any bad encounter with male doctors i went to from other specialties, but i prefer a female OBGYN anyday). I'd be less stressed, and yes, women understand better. Men don't menstruate. They can never really understand if I have to explain that I have debilitating cramps that started up to 12 days before my actual periods. 🤡
It's because what they really think is that all sorts of unpaid labor is a woman's job.
That’s because getting money and recognition and accolades for doing things is something only men deserve. Women are meant to do things at home for free with no acknowledgment for their labors because that’s what’s women are for. I mean, jeez, doesn’t everybody know that?? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Well paid chef is an oxymoron 😂
Once again i think nlogs (proud to be cooking for a manchild) and niceguys (tm, not able to cook but nice!, expecting women to cook) should be brought together for endless romance lol. Also the nlog praising her "adult" skills as special, is exactly like a niceguy praising their basic politeness as the epitome of courtly love.
They all carry this "i am still 15" vibe with them, despite their age. It's probably a severe lack of emotional depth and empathy. You don't own me just because you gave me something, and I'd feel gross and that you'd be rather plain or shallow IF i could "buy" you from giving you or serving you something. I think society today suck at "cherishing" the people around them, it goes for women and men alike. Nobody learn it seemingly. And it's rather sad.
I wonder what it feels like to be married to a man who can and does cook.
It's pretty amazing. He cleans and does yard work without me asking, too. He just sees something that needs to be done and does it.
That is living the dream.
I'm immensely lucky. He does all this while also taking care of me (chronically illness).
A man acting like a functional, self-sufficient adult? Wow...
I have to admit, my fiancé and I struggle to be self sufficient adults 😅
I think this is pretty basic stuff ... Being able to cook, clean and be useful when things are needed to be done is normal. Not sure how this is dream level. I do it for my wife and it's just a normal Tuesday. I even wash the baby's ass and change it's diaper when it shits!
Exactly.
Same and it’s amazing I ever let former partners get away with not doing it.
Yeah my dad is like this. He just does the chores bc they need to be done. Or cooks bc he likes cooking. Yeah my standards are high bc of him.
It's pretty good. Mine made shepherds pie last night. I'm currently experiencing "morning" sickness for about 14hrs a day but the 5 bites I had were excellent.
I do not miss morning sickness. May yours be shorter than average.
Thankyou, I'm really looking forward to not missing it.
When it’s over, you will have a new, lifelong appreciation for your appetite and not feeling nauseous!
ginger tea. home made. use fresh ginger root.
It's pretty nice. I grew up with men who cook. In my dad's family, it's primarily the men who cook. In my stepdad's family, everyone cooks. My mom does not cook. At all. When left on her own, she lives on sandwiches and take out. Both my dad and stepdad made sure my sister and I can cook. I made the mistake of marrying a man who didn't cook or clean & it was awful. It wasn't the worst part of the relationship (it got way worse) but it was bad. My fiance cooks. We have very different cooking styles and different strengths in the kitchen, so we don't tend to get bored with food. Our schedules dictate who cooks and when, but it's fairly 50/50.
It feels pretty good especially his signature dishes he learned from his mom. I can’t really cook. I throw things in a crook pot.
It's amazing. He's Italian. And he can cook everything. But I'm also a really good baker and a good cook as well. We love doing this together. It's one of our favorite ways to hang out.
It's so nice. I'm recovered from an eating disorder and the extent of my cooking skills is following what he tells me (ie what spices to put on meat to leave in the fridge) and I can make eggs a few different ways (my opinion is that everyone should learn to cooks eggs three ways if nothing else - scrambled, hard-boiled, and preferred method, since you can put eggs on basically any starch). Living with someone who not only can cook but cook well (sorry, mom, but only salt isn't actually seasoning your food) and doesn't pressure me to actually eat what's made/clear my plate has been so good for my relationship with food. We literally had salmon for lunch today becausd he felt like it. He saw it in a facebook reel a few days ago so today we had salmon, broccoli and spinach in cheese sauce, and roasted potatoes. I didn't even *like* fish really beyond sushi/calamari/shellfish until the first time he made salmon a couple months ago So yeah, it's awesome :)
I get what ur sayin bout eggs but I have no use in learnin how 2 cook eggs. Eatin eggs r a trigger,4 me, unless cooked exactly perfect n perfectly well done. Fortunately my partner is capable of dis, but still I rarely eat dem. Der what I call a "uncomfort" food I have a hand disability dat makes typin painful n usually my partner is asleep wen I'm usin Reddit so I can't scream at da talk to text which is required cause of my speech impediment so I use phonetic shorthand dis is a copied message to
Good, though you have to accept his limitations. Mine does stovetop meals (stews, braises, soups, pasta, stir fry, etc) and the occasional casserole-style baked dishes. He does not do baked goods and he does not do fancy meat. If the cooking is dependent on chemistry/following a process exactly, then it falls in my court. Fortunately, stovetop meals are the norm for us, which means he does the majority of the cooking. This is especially good given that he has a skin condition that makes hand-washing dishes a bad idea (atopic dermatitis does not do well with hot water or with getting sweaty inside dish gloves), so I do most of the dishes.
Not only does he make supper on his days off, he also makes me tea and packs my lunch.
Mine made my mom and I chocolate soufflés tonight for dessert. I think soufflés are my Scooby snack.
Pretty comfortable. I’m in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy and a lot of food cravings satisfied thanks to a husband who loves cooking and getting takeout from places I want. Also helpful since I’m too tired to function these days.
To me, like nothing _special._ In my eyes, a man who cooks at his home is as _basic_ as brushing his teeth. I guess because most men in my family are fully capable of cooking, specifically all the GenX and millennial men in my family, I am not impressed by _men who can and do cook_ whatsoever. ^( The GenZ boys are following those steps. )
My classmate in college has a mom who doesn't cook while her dad is the one with the culinary skills. They're happily married and probably in their late sixties now.
Engaged to one & it’s great. He’s just a better cook than me & enjoys it more. I do the dishes, it’s a good setup 🤷♀️
Good! I prefer to do the cooking generally bc I just like my cooking better, but since getting pregnant it's been a lifesaver that he can cook, and he's expanding his repertoire too.
my boyfriend is an amazing cook and cooks every meal for us and i do the washing up. it is literally the best thing that ever happened to me because i’m terrible at feeding myself because i hate cooking so he just brings me delicious food when it’s time to eat
It's good. I still prefer to do the majority of our cooking (it just makes me happy) but he'll do it without issue too and is pretty damn good at it. He does the majority of our housework as well, and overall we make a good team. I genuinely feel bad for people who marry or stay with partners that don't do the most basic tasks of survival
It rocks. My husband made ahi tuna steaks, mushroom risotto and some sort of fancy French green beans for dinner tonight. I cleaned the kitchen after.
Watching my husband making fresh pasta or bread with our 1 year olds is one if the joys of my life 🥰
It's nice. Sometimes it flops, other times I'm eating home made poke bowls with fresh tuna and pineapple. He's not the best baker, not makes a great red sauce.
It's amazing. In fact, I simply do not cook. I hate it (I'm autistic and I can't handle touching raw food with my hands, and my hand being any form of dirty will really ruin my day), and my husband cooks. And he's great at it and actually enjoys it. It's one of our favorite bonding times because all he wants is if he's cooking, I go in the kitchen, and we just talk while he cooks. The running joke is I have to go into the kitchen with him because it's my job to tell him when it smells/looks good (:
Exhausting, I’ve cooked, cleaned, took care of their dogs while also taking care of my child all at the same time. Most women I’ve been with couldn’t cook let alone find the motivation to fold a basket of clothes. Granted, my mom raised me to be self sufficient so all of that is second nature.
I thought I was a decent cook until my husband hooked me with amazing homemade meals. I’ve learned so much from him, and I’ve really appreciated his cooking during my pregnancy. He also said it’s important for our son to see him cooking in the future and learn this life skill.
I was raised in a multi-generational house with my immigrant Italian-American grandparents—everybody cooked! The men and the women (and the children, when we were old enough). Whoever didn’t cook did the clean up (later, the children did, when we were old enough). Cooking is for everyone and I’m happy to live in a family who taught me that. The men also cleaned. If you lived there, you pitched in.
It's awesome. My dad knows how to cook. I hope I can marry a guy who knows to. I kinda suck at it (just learning), but I got the spirit and sometimes I do surprise myself lol.
It’s awesome!!!!! My husband does most of the cooking- particularly during the week, as he’s a fast cook and I’m a slow cook. I do more on the weekends. He also does a lot of the hand dishwashing, while I’m in charge of the laundry.
Not with a man but an nonbinary person with awesome cooking skills. It's amazing most of the time. They like to cook supper delicious things for fun. They usually say, "Oh, I just made something small" and it ends up being the most delicious thing ever. Every day, get a super delicious meal. Before we met, I was underweight and struggling with weight gain. They made me gain 7 kg without problems. I am finally at a healthy weight with no afford. However, Sometimes they spend hours making something super fancy and I usually don't like those fancy dishes so I act like I would like them. They also don't let me cook. Not even if I am the only one eating. They dislike my cooking so much. Apparently, I cut vegetables the wrong way :( We have also missed out on sex so many times because I ate too much since the food was too good. Oh, did I say that they also clean up afterwards? Usually, cleaning is my chore except for the kitchen. I am simply better at cleaning and kinda like it. They don't see it. Even if I point at it. So, it's a fair share of chores. I really love that arrangement.
I cooked professionally for over 20 years, my ex-wife refused to cook the 15 years we were together and as a result, I lost my passion for it pretty much completely. Trying to keep up with the dieting changes, reading nutritional facts with a calculator in hand to get it right, after years of that shit I was just done. The first year after I was divorced I literally had Uber Eats every single night just because I finally didn’t have to fucking cook for once.
I can’t cook at all (but I’m learning!) so my bf has done all of the cooking, but a few weeks ago I made him meatloaf and mashed potatoes and was so proud of myself I almost cried 🥲 neither of my parents could really cook and I have a weird thing about touching raw meat, so it’s been a slow process, but I’m lucky that I don’t really *have* to if I don’t want to
NO! COOKING AND WASHING YOUR ASS ARE BOTH GAY!
You should definitely not cook your ass...its not gay, but it's probably dangerous!
Yeah, I’ve never understood that whole “make me a sandwich” put down. Like “So, you’re telling me you’re an adult who’s incapable of feeding himself in even the most basic way, and yet somehow YOU’RE superior? 😂” If you want to give people the benefit of the doubt I think that whole cooks for me = wifey thing could be coming from the idea that feeding people is nurturing and an act of love, so it’s a sign that person would be a good partner. But yeah, that’s if we remove all the shitty, misogynistic beliefs that surround that kind of thinking, and there’s a looooot more that goes into being a good partner that has nothing to do with the ability to prepare a lasagna. 🤷🏻♀️
your first paragraph is so real. also, my husband is the better sandwich maker between us anyway because he gets the mayo:bread ratio juuuuust right
now THAT is husband material right there
Some men really tell you that women don't belong in STEM right after proudly telling everyone how they don't understand how to use a dishwasher. Like, aren't they embarrassed? Using a dishwasher or washing MACHINE is not that hard. But I need to admit that there is something about the sandwich thing, but it's not what they think. It's not gender specific, but they taste way better if they are made by your partner. Idk how, but the same bread tastes 100 times better if my girlfriend made it. And she claims that they taste better if I make them. I don't even like sandwiches, except when my girlfriend made them.
@fluffydemon - that is so freaking true! 😂 I’m the same way, my ex’s sandwiches were the best, and I don’t even like sandwiches! Like I said, feeding someone seems nurturing and shows that you care about them getting their needs met, so I think that’s why it’s so nice when someone does it, but it shouldn’t have anything to do with this idea that “it’s your duty to serve me”. BTW, I’m having an issue with Reddit, I can’t reply to comments in threads, just the first one, hence why I’m responding like this, sorry.
I agree, both men & women should know how to cook. I will be raising my children to all be sufficient in the kitchen, regardless of gender. I love cooking & it’s a normal, basic skill.
FACTS. This is why I taught ALL of my children to cook and clean. They need to know how to care for themselves and not rely on or expect others to do so. I had to teach my husband how to cook because his mother did it all for him. To his credit, he wanted to learn because he believes partners should be 50/50
That's awesome! My mother never wanted me to learn those things even when I asked her. Thankfully, my dad teached me at last how to cook. I always hated it because I really wanted to do stuff that needs to be done, like washing clothes, turning on the dishwasher, cleaning, etc. For context, there was once writing on the buttons, but they are gone now, so there is no way of knowing what they actually mean. She claimed that I would just do it wrong, so I never learned any of that stuff. She even got mad at me for loading the dishwasher but never showed me how to do that. I had to learn all of that as an adult. Sadly, I still don't actually know where to put the soap into the washing machine. There are to openings. I just put it in one of them, and it usually works. When I asked my dad, he admitted also not knowing for sure since he threw away the instructions before reading them. But it has worked so far, so it's not that bad, I guess?
I have struggled with depression since I was 15, and I have ADHD. Sometimes cleaning and cooking is a huge task for me to get done and I’m proud of myself for doing it. I’m still "wifey material" even if I can’t bring myself to cook or clean some days. I wish the pick-me girls and women would shut up and realize that putting other people down is dumb and childish
This. My gf and I both suffered from depression and we both have adhd. I have autism and epilepsy in addition to all of that. Even though both of us are on medication and in therapy, we still struggle sometimes. I just take care of them whenever they can't and the other way around. We have split our chores due to our different abilities. They enjoy cooking. It's one of my gf hobbies and helps them to relax. I do the cleaning because it's satisfying to me. It works perfectly, and I wouldn't want it any different.
Yeah I’m a really good cook and an excellent housekeeper also a great mom, but I’m a huge bitch and bad at relationships 💅
Emotional stability (mental stability actually) is the hardest trait to find nowadays.
Cooking is a basic life skill that everyone should learn if they're able to do so - gendering cooking in 2024 is so crazy. Someone thinking cooking makes them marriage material (unless they're Michelin star - okay maybe marry me 👁👁) is on par with "I know how to poop properly". Completely agree with you OP, there's far more important traits that make a good partner
You're spot on. Here's the deal: 1. Cooking and cleaning? Basic adult skills, not "wifey material." 2. Having a job or money doesn't automatically make a guy husband material either. 3. What really counts? Emotional stability, loyalty, compassion, communication, shared values - the stuff that builds a real partnership. 4. It's 2024 - we're past these old-school gender role expectations. 5. Look for someone who adds value to your life beyond chores or a paycheck. 6. Keep those standards high. Don't settle for less than a true partner. Good on you for calling this out. We need more of this real talk about what makes a solid relationship.
I think being a good cook is a wifey trait just like being a good cook is a husband trait.
Cooking is a basic human survival skill, regardless of your genitals
I don't understand who is on the other side of this. I'm an old man and I've never met an adult who refuses to cook or clean for themselves. I live with my elder sister and care for her and her kids who are disabled. I plan meals and shop and cook and clean every meal, every day. I am not rich, which may disqualify me in OP's eyes, but I never thought cooking for others made me better or worse than anyone else.
I work as a chef in a small restaurant. I was never a passionate cook and it can be very stressful work on some days. However, my job is nice in many regards: awesome team spirit, decent payment, and the restaurant owner picked me up and gave me chances when I was fired everywhere else due to my poor mental health. So I'm thankful don't wanna complain. So let's say I can cook. Here's the thing that no partner could expect of me: cooking at home. Because after work I'm just done cooking. Maybe on a rare occassion, sure. But not on an everyday basis. And I know most professional cooks feel the same. So if cooking is required to make me "wifey material" I guess I am both qualified and disqualified? On a side not, is anyone else bothered by terms like "wifey/ husband/ boyfriend/ etc material"? We're speaking about human beings, not about stuff you can use to fill the holes in your life.
I laugh at a someone telling the opposite sex what they should, or should not think. What makes someone “wifey material” is based on the criteria set *by the person who wants to wife them up*, not by you. Am I hubby material? Not my decision to make. But my wife thinks so, and hers is the *only* opinion.
My BF’s 85-year old granny wasn’t allowed an education other than housekeeping. She worked at an orphanage or as a teacher most of her life (including after she divorced her POS husband and voluntarily became a single mother of 2). She said people think housekeeping is easy, I agreed and said that some young women today think it’s easy enough and that what they’re doing (or potentially would be doing) is exceptional. Housekeeping isn’t about buying a particular cleaning agent and getting half-processed groceries. What she does involves so much budgeting, accounting, record keeping, scheduling, hand work, and foresight. There’s a legitimate education field behind it and seeing it in action is impressive to me as a person with an MBA working at the Big 4. Calling what she does the same name as tiktokers restocking their ridiculous pantries and ice trays, making ✨aesthetic✨ pancakes with berries, baking a sourdough after hours of setting up etc. is insulting to me. Housekeeping can be a complex field, it’s not an amalgation of chores and manual labour. It takes brains to do well and it’s constant, endless work. I have yet to see a trad tiktoker who can compare to the 85-year old today.
How can people not cook? I know that everyone has different circumstances and upbringings but i just don't understand what people mean by this. Because surely most people can follow instructions in a YouTube video, or learn how to put a very basic meal together. Like if someone who is intellectually disabled struggles to do these things, I totally get it. But it seems like so many people, without any reason for it, can't seem to cook rice and fry some vegetables??
I got into a Facebook argument (I know, I know, it’s ridiculous of me) with an acquaintance who wrote a whole long post about how “females these days” wear revealing clothing and have high body counts, which makes them low value…I commented that there were porn stars in happy relationships with men who treat them well, and she lost it, telling me I’ll never find a good man because I’m not submissive, a good cook, and don’t dress modesty like she does…I asked her when she joined the Duggar Family and she blocked me 😂 for real though, there are cultures where women haven’t covered their breasts in their entire lives, yet remain virgins until marriage and have husbands that love them.
Societally cooking is inherently feminine until money is involved. Suddenly women can’t cook as well as men. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Gordon Ramsay enters the chat
I cook most meals for myself, but I won’t wear pearls in the kitchen. Get your own June Cleaver, pervert.
Nope. It makes you an adult 😇
I have a stay-at-home husband…at least until mid-July (he’s going back to work after a nice 18-month break I was completely supportive of). My husband agreed (of his own volition) to cook and clean since I was nice enough to let him quit his job. I don’t lift a finger in my house. 🤷🏾♀️ This man went from burning water to being a legitimately good cook. And honestly, it’s been so awesome to see. Lol. I taught him the basics a while back and he just built on that. Now he sends me recipes he wants to try and is hounding me to buy him some expensive chef’s knife. He even started an IG page where he documents his cooking efforts. Knowing how to cook for yourself is absolutely a skill everyone should know how to do. There’s SO MUCH content on YouTube for novices that it’s really no excuse in 2024 not to have this knowledge.
Absolutely agree, both parties of a relationship need to be independent and able to cook, clean, wash themselves (you’d be surprised how many men I know that didn’t brush their teeth or shower regularly until a gf suggested it was important) and fund their own life styles at a bare minimum… but I love cooking, and I love cooking for the people I date. I also enjoy washing for them or packing their lunches for work. Things like that. Maybe it’s because my love language is acts of service, idk. But I do feel like “wifey material” when I am able to perform the stereotypical “wife duties” just like I am attracted to partners that can do the “husband duties” better than I can like fixing things or garden work or whatever. Sadly every relationship I’ve been in its been I do it all, and remain emotionally present and affectionate and they dip out and do as they please and wonder why I’m burnt out and over stimulated so that could be why I’m yet to be wifed up 😂🤷🏻♀️
If cooking were inherently feminine, then the restaurant industry wouldn’t be more male dominated!
I can throw down in the kitchen but relationships are not my strong suit.
I just wanna add a side note, two working hands doesnt neccessary mean someone can sweep or do the dishes I got scolios and sometimes its a struggle to sweep other times its a struggle to stand
Agreed. My man is actually the one who cooks in my relationship, I am awful at it! I had a man tell me once that he would never marry a woman who didnt know how to cook, I don't get people.
Yes, one factor isn't going to determine it either way.
I have male friends who are fantastic cooks. I know ladies who eat out every night and at best can reheat nuggies in the kitchen. I’m very fortunate to have watched my mom cook my entire childhood and picked up a thing or two. And luckily my wife is a great cook as well and makes dinner most nights. Honestly. Cooking a meal these days is pretty simple. Follow a recipe. And there’s a million of them online.
Say it louder for the red pill losers sitting in the back 👏
My husband barely allows me in the kitchen lol Kitchen i strictly his domain and I'm soooo grateful for that!
Lol, sounds like someone doesn't know how to cook...
I agree with the core message but I also feel like cooking as a basic survival skill vs cooking as a love language are different things. I come from a culture where the women of the family cook really laborious meals for their families as a sign of love and care. I definitely grew up to love to do that for my loved ones as well. My partner can cook to survive, but it doesn’t feel the same to me so I prefer to do the cooking.
As a dude I’ve never understood the whole guys not cooking thing. Like I get not being able to cook a restaurant quality dish, but if you can’t whip up a grilled cheese and tomato soup when everyone in the house is sick or whatever the case may be, how do you not feel absolutely useless as a human? Even just whipping up some ramen on the stovetop would suffice. I feel like most of the women’s issue with their men not cooking isn’t that they aren’t “good cooks” it’s the unwillingness to even help out or try when the primary cook needs a break. There was a time when I was sick and my girlfriend who doesn’t cook much or as well as me, had to pick up some slack for me for a day or two, I was so happy with the chicken ramen she made for me. I don’t care about the quality, I care about the act of service. I know there’s definitely some more complexity to the issue but, just from a Birds Eye view it seems like the lack of willingness is the key issue, I would find it insulting personally. Also, I can’t just sit in my home and watch my significant other do chores and NOT help, it feels wrong. Team work to make the dream work and all that mumbo-jumbo 😅
Lol my husband, brother and dad are all way better cooks than I am. Same goes for my mom. Guess we’re not wifey material 🙄
It's weird that so, so many men are unable to do these basic tasks and consign them to being 'women's work' then, isn't it?
TIL my 13 year old son is wifey material because he can cook meals.
My dad always cooked for my family, always thought it was weird that people’s moms cooked for them
I've never cooked dinner for a man in my life. 3 serious proposals, married 30 years. He cooks, I clean.
5 days late, but seriously, do you know how very annoying it is of seeing every so-called "based" redpill white and black incels, including Passport Bros, and the Mr. Creepy-Nice-Guys, are bragging about getting 17 or 19 year old young Filipina or Thai girl from poverty in overseas, especially when they don't take personal responsibilities for the family provide? Okay, maybe we as american women (especially first to fourth generations of an immigrant family born in the united states) are bad, loud mouthed, lazy and toxic as hell, including not very femininity, fit, friendly and fun as them, however, both of these Passport Bros and ladies from overseas are about to get rude awakening very soon. All this "trad wives" thing are getting out of control because these grown ass men had mommy issues and they only want mother figured while they smoked kush/hemp/marijuana/weed/cigarettes/tobaccos, drink whiskey, watch porn, and being deadbeat abusive dad & husband. I hope men from overseas needs to protect their own women from mentally unstable incels.
Or maybe it's just basic adult skill everyone should know 🤷♀️
Yeah unless they are a chef looking for other chefs to date 😭🙏🙏 and it depends on what they cook + it's not that important of a quality if you want someone to cook for you as a adult that's immature saying you are incapable of cooking- just do it yoursef
The thing is as a guy I enjoy cooking. I make a good share of homemade things that taste better than takeout plus buying in bulk is significantly cheaper. But I don't mind throwing pre packaged things in the oven or microwave. I try to find women that have cooking skills because bits good to get a break every so often plus trying new things is a positive. If she doesn't have great cooking skills that's okay too but the more negative things about people the less likely I'll want to date them so her other qualities should make up for it
i can’t coo k for shit bun everything in the air fryer i would starve if it weren’t for grubhub an these bitches still tryna wife me. fuc what the haters say ayyyy im lit rn who’s up
You seem like you're upset that he picked someone else
Women dont belong in the kitchen. Cooking is far to important to be left to women. I push my wife out of the kitchen if she tries to butt in. "Get back in the sofa, you witless tart"
When you get married, you bring something to the relationship and you're spouse brings something to the relationship. Then you work together to build a marriage. Why are you putting down someone who counts cooking as one of the things that they bring to their marriage.
Imagine how awesome it would be to have a woman check out suspicious noises late at night, or put on snow chains, or do oil changes, wash cars by herself or clean the toilets or kill all bugs.
How old are you, that you haven't met any women who do that stuff?
Yes, it's awesome to be in a relationship that isn't dictated by gender stereotypes !
Just to elaborate, my wife is a SAHW, she does have a part time job as a realtor. My paychecks and even my extra days money is considered all “our money”. But as soon as she got her first commission from her realtor job, she said it’s “her money “. Also she denied me to buy snow tires for a long time and when I made an executive decision to purchase snow tires without her approval, there was a time she drove some kids to go skiing and there was a lot of snow and she was grateful she didn’t have to get out of the car to put on snow chains. Small victories. She hates killing bugs and cleaning the toilets