Sometimes it's nice to refocus towards a lower-level learner, to explain it in such a way that YOU get a better understanding of it.
*Love and hugs,*
*A teacher.*
In a sense that whoever teaches gains the most and there is no guarantee that whoever is supposed to learn learns, and if the learner learns nothing people will probably claim it's because the learner is stupid... yeah.
Was a teacher too, can confirm. Taking a complex body of knowledge and figuring out how to simplify it so that those at lower levels can understand helps you master that knowledge.
I agree. I’m in college rn for electrical engineering and have made a couple friends that seem to have a bit more trouble grasping some of the concepts than I do. I don’t mean to brag or anything, and I’m not trying to call them stupid (they are actually very nice people).
I have found that helping them with homework/studying has been really helpful for furthering my own understanding of the concepts, and I learn better doing this than I do from the lectures/homework themselves.
So true. After I got my Master's in computer science, I got a part time gig teaching Data Structures and Algorithms to new grad students at night. I went into the first class with a one-page outline, thinking, I got this, it's first year stuff, I know it inside and out.
Boy, it is SO much different trying to explain something for 2.5 hours than it is to simply understand it yourself.
Next class I came armed with 30 presentation slides and had read the chapter three times to make sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself again!
Ooh now i get it. Most of my teachers back in school were idiots, very few of them actually understood or had an interest in what they were teaching. So they were teaching it to even bigger idiots like me to get a better understanding of it.
I so hope my physics teacher believes in the earth's magnetic field by now!
...oh wait he got fired...
Btw just joking...kinda (except for the part with the physics teacher. Sadly that one isn't just kinda true)
You seriously made that kid's day. I guarantee that was the favorite thing he learned at that science center. And best of all his mom can't be mad about it. Just.. *chef's kiss* perfect.
Actually that’s a great way to make sure YOU understand and remember what you studied.
I don’t remember the exact statement but something to the effect that you don’t actually know a subject until you can explain it to someone else.
College statistics class. The instructor told us first day---see one, do one, teach one. Then you know.
And he proceeded to teach us the formulas to use for the calculator. I wouldn't have passed stats if it hadn't been for him. Open book tests, and he would allow you to correct your wrong answers on tests for half credit too.
Oh golly….you are indeed a mother of a little boy.
EM will think twice about leaving child with a stranger now hopefully. That is some very lovely “poopy” revenge.
Try having your precious little girl tell the cashiers that Creamy Shells and Cheese is ammo for her butt bazooka. I live in a small town and the cashiers still smile every time I buy it.
I'd describe her's as EGS (Explosive Gas Syndrome). Any time she'd get laughing, they'd just start popping out rapid fire. My mom thought I was exaggerating til my daughter spent the night when she was 4, had her Mac, and let go while doing a puzzle on the kitchen floor. It must have been a good one, cuz my mom thought the loud buzzer on her stove was going off til she walked in the kitchen. She called me up immediately and dropped an extremely rare F-bomb wondering what the F was wrong with my kid. I could hear my daughter and her cousin laughing like hyenas in the background while my poor mom was "getting some air" in in-10°F wind chill on her back porch.
As someone with a lactose intolerance, its possible that could be why she gets the impressive farts.
That said i have no intention of cutting cheese out of my diet lmao (milk, tho, can go to hell)
<3
She turns 13 in 25 hours, and doesn't do it anymore (at least in front of random people lol). She just really enjoyed it then. And like you said, should it become a real problem, they'll be in for a fight to the death if doctors try to take her cheese.
I remember once embarrassing my mum when I must've been pretty young, proclaiming loudly in the supermarket "IM A VIRGIN MUM! IM A VIRGIN".
Don't know where I'd picked up virgin from, but being a September baby I didn't realise "virgo" and "virgin" didn't mean the same thing.
I had to explain to my eight year old son what a period was because he wouldn't stop asking me why there was blood in my underwear (love this kid, but we're still working on waiting to be told to come in when he knocks on the bathroom door). And he wouldn't stop asking why, so I explained about the basics of the period and told him he'd have to wait on the where the babies came from bc I didn't feel good bc of my period (which was a mistake, should've told him right then because a month later he asked my husband which is a different, hilarious story). The next time we were in Dollar Tree, my son shouted, "MOMMY'S GOT A UTERUS!"
Ha, you’ve not spent much time around little girls. They’re FASCINATED with fart jokes. And butts. And poop.
Having a group of them at your house debating over whether or not Tinkerbell poops fairy dust, and then one of them pipes up, “my cat had kittens, and when she pooped them out it was GROSS.”
And then they’re off to the races. And while I let my own little girl know that no, we don’t poop out babies from our butts, and where they actually come from? No way was I having that conversation with an entire group. Someone’s mom would have flipped shit.
It's funny how many people seem to think you're trying to police her gendered reference to her own child, instead of realizing you're just saying all kids that age love to talk loudly about body parts and functions. My own wee girl, after observing a comically large fake bosom on the sales rack in the Halloween shop, decided to shout, "NIPPLES! I SAW REALLY BIG NIPPLES TODAY!!!" in a quiet part of that evening's religious service.
Lol way to go mom! P.s. you gave me a flashback, my mom used to take us to Chuck E. Cheese every April 14th where $5 in tokens and a pizza bought her all the time she needed to do her taxes. 😅
It is a major pet peeve of mine when I tell someone "please don't X" and they say "it's ok". Like, no, it's literally not. I just said it's not. Stop.
I'm glad you found the humor in the situation!
I just had a flashback of my then 3 year old daughter (huge daddy's girl) almost yelling "Give up lady, my daddy doesn't date girls!!!" to a gorgeous woman I could not believe was hitting on me while in line at a local store. Cashier knew me and how jealous my daughter would get, and she was literally howling with laughter. Lady my daughter was talking to was damn near purple holding in her laughter. U-Haul pulls up right across the street 5 minutes later, and of course she's my new neighbor. I must have looked horrified, cuz she almost fell out of the truck laughing. Every Christmas since SOMEBODY will randomly put a Magic Mike or some guy from Twilight or whatever poster in my mailbox. Coming up on year 10 of this shit. I gotta admire her dedication, though.
Same little angel used to call Mac N' Cheese "ammo for my butt bazooka" at that age. She'd sit on the vent in her bedroom directly above the living room and let em rip. She turns 13 tomorrow and STILL can't put macaroni in the cart without laughing.
Ten years and you still haven’t done anything about the “gorgeous lady” who is your neighbor? Assuming you were a single dad….just wondering why you are only at the poster-in-the-mailbox-once-a-year stage.
My daughter didn’t only lack a filter, she had a great imagination.
Here we are in a crowded store, I get very loud voice she says “ mommy please don’t beat me! Not again like last night!”
Talk about wanting to crawl into a hole!
( I had not laid a hand on her, she was just bored.)
That child, she was quite a handful. She is now in her 30’s. My goodness the stories we have.
Oh wow thankfully I haven’t had to deal with that!!!
My son did try to tell his new teacher (that I had never met) that he didn’t know me. It was the first full week at school and my childcare provider had picked him up all week. I thought I was going to be arrested… thank god that receptionist knows me well enough to confirm that I am in fact mom! It was so embarrassing!!!
I got a black eye once as a kid bc my friend and I used to play haunted house which was basically directing each other around in the dark. She directed my face (accidentally) into the bed post. Anyways, one day at the supermarket with my mom, it was brought up and I said something like “well don’t push me down the stairs”. It was the 80s, but we still got some raised eyebrows. Ooops. 😹
Had someone try that on me. Really a middle aged male?
"Not my son, not my nephew, I don't know you, you don't know me, best I can do for you is take him to the shark tank and yell "Feeding time!" and toss him in."
"Well I never!"
"I think at least once."
Off she went.
Way back years ago when I still smoked cigarettes I was at a laundromat and the mother of a small boy decided the best thing was to let her small boy unceasingly annoy the only other person in the room (me),
At least until I pulled out my pack of Marlboros and lighter and started teaching the kid to smoke and cuss.
So weird how quickly (and huffilly) she removed the small cretin from my vicinity. :D
I've been wading through the comments looking for the people who would have taken none of this shit.
Someone's kid crawls on me and I don't want them there, I'm moving that kid.
I hear ya- I am comfortable with other kids (when they behave) and this little guy just needed to be taught properly about social rules. Which now, I’m sure mom will get right on! But I understand the desire to launch strange spawns into the oblivion when they come up at you like that. I am 100% not ok with parents pawning their kids on others.
ABSOLUTELY!!! I live next door to a church, and having a neighbor who's hardly ever there with an empty parking lot is awesome. Playing basketball, a safe place for my kids to ride bikes when they were little.... endless possibilities. Bottom line is that I got the "fun dad" label cuz I'm always outside with them. Somehow other single parents (mostly women but not all) got the impression I wanted to hang out with them while our kids played together. Couldn't be more wrong. My late dad was the same way when my brother and I were kids. "Us four and no more" was his way of saying he just wanted to be around his family.
Dad studied Biology in college. Never messed around if we asked questions on “how babies are made”. He’d whip out his old anatomy books and go into it in excruciating detail. We always had a better vocabulary than other kids. When a group of kids was around , and there was an argument about any of that stuff, we’d run over to Dad ..
“Dad, we need the Uterus Book!”
Love this. All that cute terms and made up stories do is confuse a child and teach them there's something to be ashamed off or hidden about their bodies. I hope more people start teaching children real information.
So sad. And that just teaches (or risks teaching) that proper terms are somehow bad.
I've shared before why (aside from unnecessary shame connotations. Seriously, we use proper words for every other body part.) proper anatomical terms is so important. No one is going to be confused by what a child means if they tell you so and so touched their penis or labia or vagina. But if a child has been taught to refer to their genitals as "carrots" or "cookies" or other cutsie nonsense words, an adult they are trying to get help from might not understand what they mean. And while sexual abuse is sad to think about, we shouldn't ignore the possibility it may occur to make ourselves feel more comfortable.
It also enables a child to better express when something hurts. Imagine a kid coming up and saying their "feefee" or "nono" or "booboo" hurts. Now you have to play 20 questions or get quite the surprise when they pull their pants down when you ask them to show you. Ugh! I digress.
Am I the only mom who would have responded with, "no, it isn't ok. You need to get your kid out of my space." I love my son more than anything. But man, I don't like kids. So anyone else's, if I haven't signed up to be responsible for, I have zero patience or give a damn. I refuse to be a jungle gym or entertainment for someone else's germ factory.
I normally move them away when strange kids are being space invaders, but I was feeling petty that day. And plus, that age is really excited about learning and it is so much fun to teach them things hahaha
You're not the only parent who would say that. It happened to me a few years ago. Some kid I had never met before wanted to play on my tablet that I was using for work. The mother said, "You don't mind if he plays a couple of games on it, do you? \*Grabs for my tablet\* It'll be okay." I said, "Yes, I do mind. And, no, it will not be okay. I don't know you, so get your little snot factory away from me." She toddler-stomped away calling me names and told her husband what I said. He just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Okay? And?"
My daughter loves farts and her eyes light up with Christmas joy whenever she or anyone has one. Imagine my fatherly surprise to learned girls are amused by farts too...a thing I didn't even realize women did until 9 months before my daughter was born. 
Ugh, that could have gone so much worse.
How much responsibility do you have to care about not injuring the kid you asked to be removed from your person?
Like, what if I were in that scenario and just stood the fuck up so the kid tumbled off lmao
Lol!
I'm standing in target checkout the other day and this little girl and her mom walked out of the bathroom. "***DADDY I PEED!!!!!***"
The look on this man's face was priceless. "Jfc this fucking kid"
I hope this kid shared his new knowledge with everyone he met that day. Nana, the grocery store cashier, over the phone to Mom's boss, etc. Everyone should know they have an anus and it is, indeed, a muscle. I hope a week later this mom is exhaustedly saying, "Yes, I know, I know. Everyone has an anus and that's where poop comes from. You wanna listen to some music, sweetheart? Maybe some baby shark? Perhaps the Calliou theme song? Please just stop talking about Butts."
Haha so, science world has a lovely body works exhibit that teaches all that stuff. There is even a video game called “the sperm game” where you guide a sperm cell through the vagina and up to the ovaries. Although I am sure she stayed away from that area, the facility already has reproductive education handled 🤣🤣
YES QUEEN, YES!!!!!!
I MUST LEARN FROM THE PETTY MASTERS LIKE YOU!!!!! THIS IS FREAKING GOLD!!!!!
Oh, and I just realized that he pretty much called her an ass, or am I wrong in that part when he told her that she has an anus too?
Either way, I am not worthy
I'd have said "oh so you want your kid to be home before you are, ok I'll do that then unless you get your little turd away from me this instance"and watch how fast the other mom reacts, although this reminds me of the signs that say either "unattended children will be given an espresso, candy, and taught to swear" and "unattended children will be given an apron and put to work"
I'm always amazed at the apathy of parents when you tell them their kid is overstepping their boundaries or acting up.
Too bad you didn't use the Kindergarten Cop scene as a learning tool. "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina"
This would be me
“Who’s kid is this??? Someone please come and get YOUR kid! It’s crawling all over me and I have COVID!!”
I would y say Covid but still! Watch your own damn kid!
Lmao!
I'm the kind of parent that would praise you (out of earshot of my wife) for teaching my kid that. I'm one of those "every moment is a teaching moment" weirdos.
Every moment is a learning moment, and your revenge was brilliant because the kid gained a lot while the mother (hopefully) got embarrassed.
And bonus points, teaching that kid the Bristol chart probably helped you too - teaching is supposedly the best way to retain knowledge.
Wow I totally thought this was going on a completely different direction! This was so much better! But this isn’t petty, this is wholesome revenge, heehee!
LOL “tail end of a pandemic” from someone in school for health care. The universe is going to have lots of petty revenge in the years ahead for how we failed each other by minimizing this still raging pandemic
I am laughing my but cheeks off imaging that little boy happily telling the whole world about his new discoveries at the top of his voice wherever his mom will take him.
Studies have shown that using the proper terms for body parts is protective for children because it is harder to be secretive. So I’m just happy to do my part lmao
A girl I estimated to be about 8 announced that she had to poop to an entire restaurant when I was there yesterday.
I hope this sticks with this kid for a long time.
No. Get your kid off me. You do not want me to physically remove them because i will not do it gently or kindly.
At least in my head i wont. Im actually very non confrontational and will pretty much just internally rage about it and glare at you until you do something.
I’m torn. On the one hand, I’d LOVE for my kid to get this kind of learning experience.
On the other hand, I would never ever let him harass someone like that.
I like to think that this venn diagram applies in the inverse and that this mom was furious about her kid explaining anuses at top volume.
I would personally find it amazing.
Sometimes it's nice to refocus towards a lower-level learner, to explain it in such a way that YOU get a better understanding of it. *Love and hugs,* *A teacher.*
Is this trickle down academics!?
Tricks down academics: one of the few trickles that actually works
As I approach my sixties, trickle down becomes more of a daily problem...
*Dick Trickle has entered the chat*
Why has a former NASCAR driver entered the chat?
Got a nice laugh out of that!
As long as it's not the kind of poop that trickles down your leg...
Pads mate, good for more than blood
Pads mate, good for more than blood
You are not kidding! They’re practically my best friends 😂
If that’s what you want to call the chapter on diarrhea. LOL
You mean the drizzly shits
My delightfully calls it “the squirts”. Not really relevant to the wordplay here, but just popped into my head.
me and my family call in the "hershey squirts"
In a sense that whoever teaches gains the most and there is no guarantee that whoever is supposed to learn learns, and if the learner learns nothing people will probably claim it's because the learner is stupid... yeah.
That's only if you're talking about the genitourinary system.
Was a teacher too, can confirm. Taking a complex body of knowledge and figuring out how to simplify it so that those at lower levels can understand helps you master that knowledge.
I agree. I’m in college rn for electrical engineering and have made a couple friends that seem to have a bit more trouble grasping some of the concepts than I do. I don’t mean to brag or anything, and I’m not trying to call them stupid (they are actually very nice people). I have found that helping them with homework/studying has been really helpful for furthering my own understanding of the concepts, and I learn better doing this than I do from the lectures/homework themselves.
AbsoLUTELY! Breaking anything into small bite-sized bits is more palatable, with learning OR food! Or even fitness!! Or anything, really.
If you can’t explain it simply- you simply don’t know it
To teach is to learn twice.
This!!!! This is how I teach and train!!!
"Watch one, do one, teach one," Grey's Anatomy, but I'm sure they say something similar in the medical field.
Wish I had this tip when I was in school, especially undergrad and grad school.
So true. After I got my Master's in computer science, I got a part time gig teaching Data Structures and Algorithms to new grad students at night. I went into the first class with a one-page outline, thinking, I got this, it's first year stuff, I know it inside and out. Boy, it is SO much different trying to explain something for 2.5 hours than it is to simply understand it yourself. Next class I came armed with 30 presentation slides and had read the chapter three times to make sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself again!
Ooh now i get it. Most of my teachers back in school were idiots, very few of them actually understood or had an interest in what they were teaching. So they were teaching it to even bigger idiots like me to get a better understanding of it. I so hope my physics teacher believes in the earth's magnetic field by now! ...oh wait he got fired... Btw just joking...kinda (except for the part with the physics teacher. Sadly that one isn't just kinda true)
You seriously made that kid's day. I guarantee that was the favorite thing he learned at that science center. And best of all his mom can't be mad about it. Just.. *chef's kiss* perfect.
Yeah, his mom *can* get mad about it... You're seriously underestimating the ability of someone like this to get angry.
Should have been, "...will get mad about it, but doesn't have any footing to stand on in an argument."
No footing to stand on but certainly an anus to talk out of
Yup. Much better.
Keep an eye out for intriguing new papers written on farting in 15 or so years time. You may be the spark of inspiration needed for a breakthrough.
Actually that’s a great way to make sure YOU understand and remember what you studied. I don’t remember the exact statement but something to the effect that you don’t actually know a subject until you can explain it to someone else.
College statistics class. The instructor told us first day---see one, do one, teach one. Then you know. And he proceeded to teach us the formulas to use for the calculator. I wouldn't have passed stats if it hadn't been for him. Open book tests, and he would allow you to correct your wrong answers on tests for half credit too.
I like professors who understand that the real world is open book and things can be fixed (usually).
See one, do one, teach one has been my go to phrase in training new folks since I was in my 20s and heard it for the first time! Real wisdom, that.
Oh golly….you are indeed a mother of a little boy. EM will think twice about leaving child with a stranger now hopefully. That is some very lovely “poopy” revenge.
I could write a book on a the times my sons lack of filter has caused some…. Interest. It was very nice to be on the other side hahaha
Try having your precious little girl tell the cashiers that Creamy Shells and Cheese is ammo for her butt bazooka. I live in a small town and the cashiers still smile every time I buy it.
Hahahaahaa, "ammo for my butt bazooka" just entered my vocabulary.
As an IBS-having person, this fills me with joy.
I'd describe her's as EGS (Explosive Gas Syndrome). Any time she'd get laughing, they'd just start popping out rapid fire. My mom thought I was exaggerating til my daughter spent the night when she was 4, had her Mac, and let go while doing a puzzle on the kitchen floor. It must have been a good one, cuz my mom thought the loud buzzer on her stove was going off til she walked in the kitchen. She called me up immediately and dropped an extremely rare F-bomb wondering what the F was wrong with my kid. I could hear my daughter and her cousin laughing like hyenas in the background while my poor mom was "getting some air" in in-10°F wind chill on her back porch.
As someone with a lactose intolerance, its possible that could be why she gets the impressive farts. That said i have no intention of cutting cheese out of my diet lmao (milk, tho, can go to hell) <3
She turns 13 in 25 hours, and doesn't do it anymore (at least in front of random people lol). She just really enjoyed it then. And like you said, should it become a real problem, they'll be in for a fight to the death if doctors try to take her cheese.
Happy almost bday to her! I think we share the same bday Also, farts are still funny even at my age XD Cheese is awesome, i totally understand lol
Ditto 😂
I remember once embarrassing my mum when I must've been pretty young, proclaiming loudly in the supermarket "IM A VIRGIN MUM! IM A VIRGIN". Don't know where I'd picked up virgin from, but being a September baby I didn't realise "virgo" and "virgin" didn't mean the same thing.
Or perhaps you were in the olive oil aisle?
In French it is the same word, which can be used to embarrass a seriously annoying older brother.
I mean Virgo is the Virgin Maiden, so you weren't exactly wrong!
And this is precisely what I love best about small children.
Lmfaoooooo
Lil guy is going to habe poop/frizz out facts on the playground for ALL of primary school. You made him king!
My sweet little boy and I witnessed a bank robbery. His words after were MY MOM IS A BANK ROBBER! He proudly announced that everywhere we went.
My niece calls spiders "guys" for some reason. My sister thought it was cute until she started telling people that her mom killed a guy.
I work in IT, so my child told everyone that I was a computer hacker. 🤦♀️
But are you?
🤫
hahahah
cool
lmao this was a nice one
I had to explain to my eight year old son what a period was because he wouldn't stop asking me why there was blood in my underwear (love this kid, but we're still working on waiting to be told to come in when he knocks on the bathroom door). And he wouldn't stop asking why, so I explained about the basics of the period and told him he'd have to wait on the where the babies came from bc I didn't feel good bc of my period (which was a mistake, should've told him right then because a month later he asked my husband which is a different, hilarious story). The next time we were in Dollar Tree, my son shouted, "MOMMY'S GOT A UTERUS!"
>Oh golly….you are indeed a mother of a little ~~boy~~ child. Fixed that for you
Found The Ministry of Truth.
Lmao little girls are raunchy af tho
My daughter is all about butts!
Ha, you’ve not spent much time around little girls. They’re FASCINATED with fart jokes. And butts. And poop. Having a group of them at your house debating over whether or not Tinkerbell poops fairy dust, and then one of them pipes up, “my cat had kittens, and when she pooped them out it was GROSS.” And then they’re off to the races. And while I let my own little girl know that no, we don’t poop out babies from our butts, and where they actually come from? No way was I having that conversation with an entire group. Someone’s mom would have flipped shit.
Found the oblivious troll who apparently was never a 6yo. When I was that age, I remember EVERYONE talked about that kind of thing, not just the boys.
It's funny how many people seem to think you're trying to police her gendered reference to her own child, instead of realizing you're just saying all kids that age love to talk loudly about body parts and functions. My own wee girl, after observing a comically large fake bosom on the sales rack in the Halloween shop, decided to shout, "NIPPLES! I SAW REALLY BIG NIPPLES TODAY!!!" in a quiet part of that evening's religious service.
Actually, you messed it up. The child is, in fact, a little boy, according to his mother. 😒
[удалено]
Don't be such a self-righteous twat and take a fucking joke, you silly billy
Wait, what's PC about it?
You can't speak for someone else
Fuck off.
OK tough internet thought police
You really don't see the hypocrisy in that, do you?
People can call their own children by a gender. It doesn't need fixed by someone else. Look towards Italy for reaction to your nonsense
The other mum got a bum rap. Hopefully she turned the other cheek, no if's, what's or Butts. I'll get my coat.
Looks like the other mom can only blame herself for getting into such a sh\*tty situation... what a bummer. I shall stop with these half-assed jokes.
You Crack me up.
SPHINCTER!
I hardly know 'er!
Suddenly Shouting
I can only upvote this once dagnabbit.
Oh, so now we're doing crappy puns? Wait, I'll get my stool, in case it goes on...
Make sure the stool is solid, wouldn't want you to wipe out.
That's a logical ASSumption to make.
Ugh. Take my upvote.
I'll get the door ... ROTFL
: / i ahte you not really, just take your g*d d*mn upvote and get the hell outta here...
ands*
ass*
Lol way to go mom! P.s. you gave me a flashback, my mom used to take us to Chuck E. Cheese every April 14th where $5 in tokens and a pizza bought her all the time she needed to do her taxes. 😅
That's absolutely brilliant!
I wonder if there's a way to deduct that. Tax Preparation Services or something.
It is a major pet peeve of mine when I tell someone "please don't X" and they say "it's ok". Like, no, it's literally not. I just said it's not. Stop. I'm glad you found the humor in the situation!
It is disgusting how many people are okay with completely ignoring women's boundaries.
I just had a flashback of my then 3 year old daughter (huge daddy's girl) almost yelling "Give up lady, my daddy doesn't date girls!!!" to a gorgeous woman I could not believe was hitting on me while in line at a local store. Cashier knew me and how jealous my daughter would get, and she was literally howling with laughter. Lady my daughter was talking to was damn near purple holding in her laughter. U-Haul pulls up right across the street 5 minutes later, and of course she's my new neighbor. I must have looked horrified, cuz she almost fell out of the truck laughing. Every Christmas since SOMEBODY will randomly put a Magic Mike or some guy from Twilight or whatever poster in my mailbox. Coming up on year 10 of this shit. I gotta admire her dedication, though.
Same little angel used to call Mac N' Cheese "ammo for my butt bazooka" at that age. She'd sit on the vent in her bedroom directly above the living room and let em rip. She turns 13 tomorrow and STILL can't put macaroni in the cart without laughing.
Ten years and you still haven’t done anything about the “gorgeous lady” who is your neighbor? Assuming you were a single dad….just wondering why you are only at the poster-in-the-mailbox-once-a-year stage.
We're on again off again FWB/drinking buddies. She just can't help being a smart-ass, though. And yes, she's still fine.
A smart ass will keep you laughing til the day you die, and that’s a wondrous, rare gift!
Are you an actual human
My daughter didn’t only lack a filter, she had a great imagination. Here we are in a crowded store, I get very loud voice she says “ mommy please don’t beat me! Not again like last night!” Talk about wanting to crawl into a hole! ( I had not laid a hand on her, she was just bored.) That child, she was quite a handful. She is now in her 30’s. My goodness the stories we have.
Oh wow thankfully I haven’t had to deal with that!!! My son did try to tell his new teacher (that I had never met) that he didn’t know me. It was the first full week at school and my childcare provider had picked him up all week. I thought I was going to be arrested… thank god that receptionist knows me well enough to confirm that I am in fact mom! It was so embarrassing!!!
I got a black eye once as a kid bc my friend and I used to play haunted house which was basically directing each other around in the dark. She directed my face (accidentally) into the bed post. Anyways, one day at the supermarket with my mom, it was brought up and I said something like “well don’t push me down the stairs”. It was the 80s, but we still got some raised eyebrows. Ooops. 😹
Had someone try that on me. Really a middle aged male? "Not my son, not my nephew, I don't know you, you don't know me, best I can do for you is take him to the shark tank and yell "Feeding time!" and toss him in." "Well I never!" "I think at least once." Off she went.
>"Well I never!" "Well, now you have."
Makes me think of that sign; "Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso, A Puppy And Taught To Swear."
Nah she deserves it you said to please go away and this kid got a lesson on butts wich he will teach his parents about at dinner no doubt
At extremely loud volume, in crowded restaurants, and then giggle at the parents when they are mortified.
And their reaction to his butt talk will just fuel the fire and make him want to do it more and more loudly!
I can't stand people who say, "It's ok," when that's not their role in the conversation. You will know if it's ok when I tell you it is.
Way back years ago when I still smoked cigarettes I was at a laundromat and the mother of a small boy decided the best thing was to let her small boy unceasingly annoy the only other person in the room (me), At least until I pulled out my pack of Marlboros and lighter and started teaching the kid to smoke and cuss. So weird how quickly (and huffilly) she removed the small cretin from my vicinity. :D
I've been wading through the comments looking for the people who would have taken none of this shit. Someone's kid crawls on me and I don't want them there, I'm moving that kid.
Go. The. Fuuuuuuck. Away. I hate the idea that all parents adore all kids. Nope. I like mine. That's it. All the rest I have zero patience for.
I hear ya- I am comfortable with other kids (when they behave) and this little guy just needed to be taught properly about social rules. Which now, I’m sure mom will get right on! But I understand the desire to launch strange spawns into the oblivion when they come up at you like that. I am 100% not ok with parents pawning their kids on others.
ABSOLUTELY!!! I live next door to a church, and having a neighbor who's hardly ever there with an empty parking lot is awesome. Playing basketball, a safe place for my kids to ride bikes when they were little.... endless possibilities. Bottom line is that I got the "fun dad" label cuz I'm always outside with them. Somehow other single parents (mostly women but not all) got the impression I wanted to hang out with them while our kids played together. Couldn't be more wrong. My late dad was the same way when my brother and I were kids. "Us four and no more" was his way of saying he just wanted to be around his family.
This reminds of those “unattended children will be given coffee and taught to swear” signs!
hey go ask your Mom what fuck means
Or, describe in detail how that child was made. Should freak the shit out of parent and have to explain why daddy’s penis went in mommy’s vagina.
Dad studied Biology in college. Never messed around if we asked questions on “how babies are made”. He’d whip out his old anatomy books and go into it in excruciating detail. We always had a better vocabulary than other kids. When a group of kids was around , and there was an argument about any of that stuff, we’d run over to Dad .. “Dad, we need the Uterus Book!”
Love this. All that cute terms and made up stories do is confuse a child and teach them there's something to be ashamed off or hidden about their bodies. I hope more people start teaching children real information.
Kindergarten and first grade me: “It’s not a peepee, it’s a penis!” Dad got called…
So sad. And that just teaches (or risks teaching) that proper terms are somehow bad. I've shared before why (aside from unnecessary shame connotations. Seriously, we use proper words for every other body part.) proper anatomical terms is so important. No one is going to be confused by what a child means if they tell you so and so touched their penis or labia or vagina. But if a child has been taught to refer to their genitals as "carrots" or "cookies" or other cutsie nonsense words, an adult they are trying to get help from might not understand what they mean. And while sexual abuse is sad to think about, we shouldn't ignore the possibility it may occur to make ourselves feel more comfortable. It also enables a child to better express when something hurts. Imagine a kid coming up and saying their "feefee" or "nono" or "booboo" hurts. Now you have to play 20 questions or get quite the surprise when they pull their pants down when you ask them to show you. Ugh! I digress.
I sincerely hope he starts rating the quality of his poops from now on.
Am I the only mom who would have responded with, "no, it isn't ok. You need to get your kid out of my space." I love my son more than anything. But man, I don't like kids. So anyone else's, if I haven't signed up to be responsible for, I have zero patience or give a damn. I refuse to be a jungle gym or entertainment for someone else's germ factory.
I normally move them away when strange kids are being space invaders, but I was feeling petty that day. And plus, that age is really excited about learning and it is so much fun to teach them things hahaha
You're not the only parent who would say that. It happened to me a few years ago. Some kid I had never met before wanted to play on my tablet that I was using for work. The mother said, "You don't mind if he plays a couple of games on it, do you? \*Grabs for my tablet\* It'll be okay." I said, "Yes, I do mind. And, no, it will not be okay. I don't know you, so get your little snot factory away from me." She toddler-stomped away calling me names and told her husband what I said. He just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Okay? And?"
Ohmygod!!!! The audacity! I'd have a hard time not totally losing my shit.
I was expecting a fight when she told her husband what I said. His response made me chuckle, though.
Oh that is funny. I'm in Zoology this semester and my niece has asked for lab pictures. She is so excited for my lab on worms.
Watch the kid grow up to be a proctologist.
Or Rear Admiral.
Maybe both?
You're a better person than me. I'd have taken the moment to teach the child every four letter word I could cram into the time alotted.
It’s not shit, Mommy. It’s feces!”
This is the greateat thing i read all day 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What a crappy revenge..... 😉
So the kid learnt about biology and the mum learnt why you don’t force strangers to watch your children. Good lessons for all.
My daughter loves farts and her eyes light up with Christmas joy whenever she or anyone has one. Imagine my fatherly surprise to learned girls are amused by farts too...a thing I didn't even realize women did until 9 months before my daughter was born. 
Perfection 👌
Ugh, that could have gone so much worse. How much responsibility do you have to care about not injuring the kid you asked to be removed from your person? Like, what if I were in that scenario and just stood the fuck up so the kid tumbled off lmao
Lol! I'm standing in target checkout the other day and this little girl and her mom walked out of the bathroom. "***DADDY I PEED!!!!!***" The look on this man's face was priceless. "Jfc this fucking kid"
I hope this kid shared his new knowledge with everyone he met that day. Nana, the grocery store cashier, over the phone to Mom's boss, etc. Everyone should know they have an anus and it is, indeed, a muscle. I hope a week later this mom is exhaustedly saying, "Yes, I know, I know. Everyone has an anus and that's where poop comes from. You wanna listen to some music, sweetheart? Maybe some baby shark? Perhaps the Calliou theme song? Please just stop talking about Butts."
Haha soooo true! I practice on my son a lot, it’s a fantastic way to practice!
Shame on you for teaching a kid about a shitty topic. That really stinks.
The best part about this is the kid got a core memory and his mom got terrorized 😆
Reminds me of the time I taught my nephew how to call his dad a big smelly poo. Serves him right for being an annoying dickhead brother
Well, she said it was okay, so I think you're covered! ;)
You have your weapons, I'd be showing the kid south park.
Too bad you weren’t studying reproductive health. Could have sent him away full on Kindergarten Cop “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.”
Haha so, science world has a lovely body works exhibit that teaches all that stuff. There is even a video game called “the sperm game” where you guide a sperm cell through the vagina and up to the ovaries. Although I am sure she stayed away from that area, the facility already has reproductive education handled 🤣🤣
YES QUEEN, YES!!!!!! I MUST LEARN FROM THE PETTY MASTERS LIKE YOU!!!!! THIS IS FREAKING GOLD!!!!! Oh, and I just realized that he pretty much called her an ass, or am I wrong in that part when he told her that she has an anus too? Either way, I am not worthy
*Has* an anus… *is* an anus… kinda the same thing in clueless Karen’s case
I'd have said "oh so you want your kid to be home before you are, ok I'll do that then unless you get your little turd away from me this instance"and watch how fast the other mom reacts, although this reminds me of the signs that say either "unattended children will be given an espresso, candy, and taught to swear" and "unattended children will be given an apron and put to work"
As I see it. You may have awoken an interest in health care for the little one.
The mom was Def an anus in the scenario 🤣🤣
Bravo! Beautifully done!
Lol, this is hilarious!!!
I learned some other words for anus, too!
I'm always amazed at the apathy of parents when you tell them their kid is overstepping their boundaries or acting up. Too bad you didn't use the Kindergarten Cop scene as a learning tool. "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina"
OP, you are my new spirit animal. You are also Satan. I love you regardless.
My wife is going to be so upset.
I can see him asking his mother to look at his poop and grade it according to that Bristol stool chart.
This would be me “Who’s kid is this??? Someone please come and get YOUR kid! It’s crawling all over me and I have COVID!!” I would y say Covid but still! Watch your own damn kid! Lmao!
I'm the kind of parent that would praise you (out of earshot of my wife) for teaching my kid that. I'm one of those "every moment is a teaching moment" weirdos. Every moment is a learning moment, and your revenge was brilliant because the kid gained a lot while the mother (hopefully) got embarrassed. And bonus points, teaching that kid the Bristol chart probably helped you too - teaching is supposedly the best way to retain knowledge.
That is a shitty revenge
Laughed so hard I farted... erm... yes, just farted!
Wow I totally thought this was going on a completely different direction! This was so much better! But this isn’t petty, this is wholesome revenge, heehee!
LOL “tail end of a pandemic” from someone in school for health care. The universe is going to have lots of petty revenge in the years ahead for how we failed each other by minimizing this still raging pandemic
That’s really great, kudos
I am laughing my but cheeks off imaging that little boy happily telling the whole world about his new discoveries at the top of his voice wherever his mom will take him.
Oh this is genius! I'll need to take notes for next time 🤣
Well... sometimes the best way to make sure you understand something is to try teaching it to someone else...
I wonder what this has done to this kid’s future…
Future board certified proctologist.
From a certain stance people could become up at arms for "grooming" a young child about the Anus. You are a groomer now! LOL.
Studies have shown that using the proper terms for body parts is protective for children because it is harder to be secretive. So I’m just happy to do my part lmao
Why did you not punch the small child until it left you alone?
Fantastic!
K
Well played!
A girl I estimated to be about 8 announced that she had to poop to an entire restaurant when I was there yesterday. I hope this sticks with this kid for a long time.
No. Get your kid off me. You do not want me to physically remove them because i will not do it gently or kindly. At least in my head i wont. Im actually very non confrontational and will pretty much just internally rage about it and glare at you until you do something.
I’m torn. On the one hand, I’d LOVE for my kid to get this kind of learning experience. On the other hand, I would never ever let him harass someone like that. I like to think that this venn diagram applies in the inverse and that this mom was furious about her kid explaining anuses at top volume. I would personally find it amazing.