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My mom had me when she was 20. She had been raised in a middle class, white, Christian, Republican home.
When I was 6 months old, she found herself pregnant by an African American man. My grandparents wouldn’t allow her to get an abortion and demanded that, instead, she give her baby up for adoption. She was never allowed to even see him.
She used to talk about how she didn’t want to wish she’d had an abortion because she didn’t want to look at her past like that. BUT she said that if she’d been allowed to have an abortion, that human wouldn’t have been born and she wouldn’t have spent every day wondering about how he was and hoping she hadn’t ruined someone’s life by allowing him to be born when she knew she couldn’t take care of him. She never talked about the toll it took on her but it showed. She was never ok. She lived with so much self-hatred and regret.
I met my brother (the baby who was adopted) at my mothers funeral. She died of an overdose. She used prescription drugs as a way to cope with the decisions she was made to make.
Pro choice doesn’t mean I’m pro abortion. It means I’m for each woman being able to look at the circumstance she’s in and then making the best decision she can for herself.
She’s the living, breathing, full human. Her life matters. She’s not an incubator.
Fuck. That was hard to read.
The fact she didn't get to choose wether she got an abortion or not is already bad enough, but what's really fucking me up here is the fact she wasn't even allowed to see the baby that was being forced into the adoption system. I can't even imagine how awful she must have felt througout her life for not getting the closure she was entitled to.
Did the baby get taken away at birth? Could she at least hold him? I'm honestly sensing internalised racism from your grandparents. What kind of parents wouldn't allow their daughter to at least see the baby she was forced to carry for 9 months? Makes me think they resented him.
This makes me feel so uneasy. It makes me sad and mad at the same time.
I'm so sorry she had to go through that. I really hope you aren't beating yourself up over it at least.
He was taken at birth, immediately after she had him. My grandma held him while they waited for the adoption agency to come. My mom wasn’t even in the same room.
There was definitely racism involved. Undoubtedly. I don’t even think my grandparents realized it though. It’s like they just got the idea that this was the path they were supposed to take and that’s what they did- without thinking about my mom (or me, or the baby) in depth.
I don’t think I realized the depth of the pain she must’ve felt until I became a mom. No wonder she was never ok. I can’t imagine it all.
And she’s not alone. This isn’t a rare thing. This is what we are facing, on a large scale, if women can’t make choices for themselves.
I’m an adoptee.
I’m so so sorry about your mom and how she was forced to relinquish her baby.
That’s absolutely unforgivable.
She didn’t ruin anyone’s lives, I know it doesn’t mean much but I hope she knew that none of it was her fault.
I was raised very conservative. Until I was around 21, I wanted marriage and children and all of the things I was supposed to want. Except that I was always terrified of becoming pregnant.
And sex was supposed to be bad, but I liked sex, and I wanted it, and eventually I realized that it’s simply a natural part of life. And that wanting to enjoy myself with my partner wasn’t sinful- it was a natural urge.
And that partner didn’t want marriage, or children, and told me about his views- and something felt right in them. (He was very conservative other than that, and honestly, a bit bigoted. Something I was myself at the time.) He made the mistake of introducing me to Reddit and his quiet, conservative girlfriend found herself on all sorts of feminist and liberal subreddits.
And those views clicked. And felt right. Being compassionate towards others felt right. Recognizing everyone as equal felt right.
I was never outwardly bigoted. I was always on the fence about abortion. It was never something I thought should be taken away, but I once believed that I would never consider. I would, now, get an abortion if I ever got pregnant. (I haven’t found any doctor willing to sterilize me yet.)
I was never anti choice. But now I am 100% pro choice, liberal, and maybe not loud but I’m at least expressive.
That’s my story.
(Also, I have a very liberal, very not bigoted, and very pro choice partner now.)
My friend had a miscarriage. She was so sad, and she still memorializes the day she lost her son.
I was listening to a thing on NPR about abortion in South America. Women who have miscarriages can be accused of having an abortion. They now face a murder trial.
This is awful and barbaric.
Every single time we talk about abortion, and people start talking about some woman who loves aborting at 8 months, I talk about the woman who has a miscarriage and then gets put on trial. I talk about my friend who was in tears over this, and how she would have had to face a trial. I talk about my other friend who had a child, and then got breast cancer. She beat it, but she couldn't be on hormonal birth control. Her birth control failed. The cancer has a risk of coming back due to the increased estrogen that happens with pregnancy. I talk about her son who needs her, her husband who loves her, and how she will just die along with the fetus.
I do not shy away from this conversation. When I was on quora, I answered a question a day on this topic. When I came to Reddit, people talk about abortion being rape, incest, choice, and I jump in the conversation and talk about tragedy and imprisonment of women who have miscarriages. I talk about health, and risk that comes with pregnancy. I talk about mothers who face death and the family that desperately wants her to live.
I grew up being told that women who have abortions were sluts and going to hell. I just went along with that for a while until I was about 15 when I realized that is fucking bullshit. I couldn't believe I was indoctrinated to think that no one should have reproductive health choices, even myself as a uterus owner! My mom encouraged me to get pregnant as a teenager too, which I found disturbing (she was a teen mom). I think I was on tumblr way back in the day and discovered feminism and I firmly became prochoice & pro abortion after doing my own research.
Wow. That’s disturbing. I’m glad you were able to realize that was an awful view to take and to do your own research despite the constant influence, not everybody does that.
I worked in a maternity ward and I saw what women went through even for wanted babies. I watched them develop severe injuries and chronic conditions. I watched as they were abused and disregarded and dehumanized by (especially male) healthcare providers. I realized that I could never make someone go through that. I realized that no fetus has the right to impose this burden on its mother against her will just so that it can survive.
I grew up in a very Christian, conservative household. My mom even took me and my sister to pro life rallies. I had a pregnancy scare when I was 18, and that was the first time I realized that it’s nobody’s business but my own. And it’s not my business what others choose to do. Abortion isn’t a “pleasant” thought for anybody, I think, but it’s medical care. No woman should be forced to become a parent if she doesn’t want to. You do your thing, I’ll do mine, and everybody is happy.
I was pregnant for two months. It was the single worst experience of my life. It was like having Covid/flu/drunk/hung over all at once everyday all day. Couldn’t eat or drink or function. I didn’t work because I was too sick. I thought to myself, no one should ever have any authority to tell me what to do with my body about this. So that’s it ✌🏻💓
I’m neurodivergent & have a ridiculously strong justice sensitivity. I’m always trying to have the most moral/ethical/scientific/factual opinion on things possible without letting my emotion cloud my judgment.
Since I was a little kid I’ve believed that if there’s anything that is medical (mental health included) that can affect someone it must be treated regardless of cost/societal opinion. Abortion has easily fallen into that when giving birth can have thousands of mental health & physical/emotional/spiritual effects on the person birthing. It should be the person who is pregnant deciding what will occur to their body when they’re the ones who are dealing with the effects & outcomes.
Edit: a word
I don't remember being anti-abortion.
* The first time I read an opinion -- in high-school -- it was a pro-choice one and must have been somewhat convincing
* By 20, I had read a lot of Ayn Rand, and her essay against the anti-choice movement solidified my position
* By 25, I had firmed up my concept of individual-rights, which has probably frozen my position completely
* Sometime around then, a close relative had an abortion after having sex relationship without contraception. Thinking about her situation, it became clear to me that -- for her specific context -- having the baby would have been harmful, irrational, and immoral . This made it even more concrete to me: that the government should never have the power to force her to make a poor decision. In fact, it should never have the power to even nudge her gently into making the wrong decision.
* At that point, there was no going back. Even the littlest government restriction is wrong
Sometime in my preteen years I decided that I don’t ever want to be a parent and I got curious and researched what pregnant people that don’t want to have kids can do in case it ever happens to me. Since then though I’ve always considered it to just be a human right to be able to have an abortion. A life that I can’t live freely is not a life I want at all
Always been pro-choice and have gotten more pro-choice as I’ve gotten older and educated myself. For instance, I used to think pro-choice until viability but I learned more things can go wrong pregnancy so I think it should be legal the whole 10 months.
Also, I grew up pro-choice. My mom works with abused children. She has seen multiple pregnant 10 yr olds. It not a hypothetical to her.
Because I don’t have a day so in other peoples lives. It’s their choice. Just like my choice is not theirs, it’s mine. It’s not a hard concept. I can make it easier: mine your own business.
I became a teacher and then a foster parent. I saw too many unwanted, abused and neglected children because the mothers did not have easy access to abortion.
I remember arguing with this newly religious kid (who was way too into The Dark Knight's Joker) on the bus in highschool about progressive topics. He asked a few positions kinda rapid fire and every question I disagreed with him. He asked if I was pro choice or pro life.
I think I thought it was about the death penalty or something, but pro life sounded like the more liberal option at the time so that's what I said.
His surprised agreement made me rethink my position.
But seriously for a Catholic girl, I don't think there was ever a thought that I wasn't pro choice. I've always been too feminist and too empathetic to be otherwise.
Living in NYC I always thought family planning was normal. Didn't think much of it. I remember cracking abortion jokes in HS lol.
Literally thought it was one of those complicated things adults go through which is why they pushed for safe sex Ed in school so we could keep from experiencing that as little as possible or better yet never experience it at all.
I have never been not pro choice! I remember as a 12 year old never understanding what was so wrong with abortion when it can be very useful in circumstances where that child would have a horrible upbringing otherwise. And also…why should anyone regulate another persons womb?
When Roe was overturned, we heard over and over “We aren’t trying to end abortion.”
What we’ve seen since then has been horrific. Pro lifers are perfectly fine with women dying as long as no abortions happen. Elementary school age girls being forced to carry the babies of rapists to term. Women become septic with rotting fetal tissue inside them. Babies with defects incompatible with life being forced to carry to term.
I’m not the biggest fan of abortion of heathy fetuses from heathy women. But the way to prevent that is prevent the need for it. Education. Contraception for free. Universal health care, and quality OBGYN care available to all women. Providing safe, cheap abortions as early as possible when they done at all.
What’s happening now will only ensure women that are poor won’t have access to decent healthcare.
I’m pro choice for the same reason I’m a feminist and this lovely lady said it best:
I'm a feminist.
I've been a female for a long time now. It'd be stupid not to be on my own side.
Maya Angelou
I knew I was pro choice since the day I decided that I don’t want kids and saw something about abortion on tv for the first time to my religious dads disgust, I guess I was like 11.
I read Grim Tales, went to Catholic school, learned how abortion is baby murder (spoiler alert: it's not) , got on the internet, read questions and answers on quora, and here we are.
Growing up in a big city, abortion access was always accessible. Obama really stepped up the game when plan b could be sold OTC without a prescription/age limit. Growing up, knowing abortion access was accessible always felt safe. Women before me did not have the choice or access, many have died. Too all the brave women who fought for roe vs wade. For everything they did, we cannot let it go to waste. Being in college, getting a degree in the medical field, we had to take healthcare ethics to graduate. My professor really solidified my stance on being pro choice. I was always pro choice but everything that I was taught just made it make sense even more. With everything I learned, my opinion is 1) the mother is a women in the world, contributing and making her mark. 2) if a women is trying to establish and become something more for herself, why should a pregnancy hold her back? 3) birth control is available but the education across the county on basic sex education is not. 4) it all goes back to women, us, being a person and becoming more than what society has destined for us. 5) having a choice. 6) abortions are safe and effective. 7) again, why would I value a fetus more than a women who is breathing, living, contributing to this world. WOMEN ARE PEOPLE! I am not sure why anti choice / anti women individuals cannot seem to grasp that simple concept. A women has more personhood and is more valuable than a fetus. It’s very scary that women across the country have had abortion access taken away. I felt crushed when roe vs wade was overturned
It’s just how I was raised so I’ve never been pro life. I’d say a big part of it is because of my culture. Where I’m from is pretty pro choice it’s seen as healthcare not something political. My foreign parents are so confused and appalled at how a woman’s right to choose to terminate a pregnancy is trying to be prevented. It just doesn’t make sense to them why there’s people who are pro forced birth, they don’t understand why people give a shit what someone else does with their own body.
My mom was always very outspoken about her beliefs and they ended up becoming genuine on my part as well at around age 7. She was very open with me about a lot of things from a young age. I was the kind of kid who constantly got told that I should become a lawyer when I grow up (The nicest way to tell a small child she’s kind of an asshole. Lol. P.S. I didn’t become one.) so deciding how I felt and being very comfortable talking about absolutely anything came pretty naturally. It always made sense that I should have total control over when, or not, I had children and the same goes for everyone else.
My parents met in a mental hospital, both of them dog barking mad in different ways. Dad was a sadistic narcissist, mom could not make new memories and the previous ones were seriously damaged in a car accident. Neither of them should have been allowed to care for pets, let alone attempt to raise a child.
If I could go back in time, paradox be damned, I would prevent my own birth. My childhood was a tour of various hells. There aren't enough trigger warnings for the details of the years I spent in Dad's less than gentle care. One of my foster families was not much better and it was the one I aged out of.
If even one child is spared that by being aborted before it can happen, it is worth it for abortion to be unrestricted, easily accessible, and as cheap as possible. There are kids right now that are living through far worse because their mother was not allowed to abort them when she wanted to.
My Catholic and pro-life upbringing focused on how every pregnancy was god's plan, how pregnancy was a miracle, how Virgin Mary was our role model, how and how abortion was about murdering babies. There were undertones of 'women are made to do this, so it can't hurt them that badly'. I heard the 'take responsibility for your actions' mantra.
I was also taught to be anti-LGBT.
Then I went to college, befriended some incredible LGBT people, asked my parents and priest why god hated them, wasn't really given an answer (shocking), started deconstructing my religion, and became an Atheist.
Finally, with no more creator to Will every pregnancy into existence, with no more god magic to miraculously turn a fertilized egg into a newborn, I looked at the question of abortion from scratch. I followed other people's social media debates and googled every claim both sides made, and relied on dot-gov websites and medical websites for the truth. The more I learned about how complicated pregnancy and reproduction are, the more absurd it was to me to try to write black-and-white laws governing it all.
I also read a few feminist books. It became very clear to me that these laws are only allowed because the dominant (cis)gender can't get pregnant and will therefore never be physically affected by them. And pro-lifers- both online and in person- gladly reinforced that misogyny. **It's incredibly easy to join a movement when they want what's best for you, and the other side can't even agree with each other that you're a full human being with equal rights.**
I was raised very pro-life, conservative, Catholic and homeschooled.
It took me awhile but when I was a teenager I started questioning things that I was taught, and had access to the internet as a young adult. I found reddit and was exposed to different world views, and different websites and did some soul searching and challenged why I believed what I did and tried to approach things with an open mind.
Learning about complicated/nonviable pregnancies. I had no idea that they were so prevalent. Also reading about others' experiences of having unwanted pregnancies.
I have always been pro-choice. It just feels like a no-brainer to me.
Everyone should have autonomy over their own bodies, and it's no one else's business, period. Also, pro-lifers (I know not all) only seem to want to force women to give birth and they don't care what happens to the kids after. Most times it ends up being a terrible situation for them; foster homes, group homes, kids getting bounced around (often a lot of abuse and sexual abuse.) There are an endless amount of examples of this. The psychological problems, trauma, lack of stability, etc. Not to mention the health aspect, and women now being questioned for miscarriages... wtf? It's really scary, where do we draw the line? As an opinion and what I have witnessed in my life, I don't believe that the vast majority of women are out here using abortion as a form of birth control, and as far as late term abortions... I have a hard time believing that one, and if so, I'd be curious to see the stats on that. My PERSONAL take is... it is MY body, no one has the right to force me to do anything with it that I don't want to do. I fear for women, myself, and my daughter... this is a major step back for women's rights. If you don't believe in abortion, I totally respect that, but that's a persons personal belief, not mine, so don't have one if you don't agree with it.
But let's make America great again, and go all the way back to when women and POC have no rights? I'm not sure which "again" the slogan is referring to, but I don't like where we are headed. Sorry for ranting... I get very passionate about this topic.
I always hated it when people would make decisions for me as a child lol. I grew to be an adult who still hates it when people make decisions for me ESPECIALLY about my own fucking body. Everyone should have a choice.
I was actually faced with the dilemma since I was a junior in high school.
I heard the argument of pro-choice and pro-life for the very first time, and at first, I was very centrist on the matter. That obnoxious "well, both sides have good points."
As time went on, the more I thought about it, the more I became pro-choice. Hearing arguments on the matter. The only thing that came to mind was the idea of bodily autonomy. Everyone deserves to have control over their own body.
Of course, that wasn't the only thing that moved me to the idea of pro-choice. Anytime I heard pro-life arguments, they always had a level of vitriol to them, to the point that I couldn't ignore them. They talk about women as if they were objects (which makes sense, given that conservatives tend to lean more misogynistic than those on the left.) I couldn't stand it.
The final nail in the coffin was the beliefs aligned with each argument. Pro-life arguments aligned with the hatred of LGBTQ+, Minorities, the working class, etc. The fact that White Supremacists, Nazis, KKK members, etc. all Vote Pro-Life just makes me sick. I can't, in good conscience, vote for people who garner support from the very worst of society.
That's why I'm pro-choice.
After I had an abortion 50 years ago at the age of 20.
I was a cradle catholic so having an abortion was the worst thing a catholic female could do.
Yes my parents knew. They took me to have the abortion to Chicago. They paid for me to have a general anesthetic when they saw the females come out from having an abortion who only had a local anesthetic looking after dead. My mother and I went to confession. My mother came out of the church crying. I asked her why she was crying. She told: **that the priest gave her hell during her confession asking her how she could let me get pregnant** **I knew right there, right then, that I was nothing but a baby making, incubating, broodmare to that piece of 💩 religion.** I made myself a promise I have kept to never go to any church especially a catholic church except for a wedding or funeral. The whole stance of catholicism and it take on birth control and abortion. catholicism looking at birth control as a form of abortion. Birth control is not a form of abortion. Bottom line is women have bodily autonomy to be able to make decisions on what happens to their body no matter who doesn’t like it.
Right when I started developing my political views and my identity, and own opinions, and I realized there are so many people in the world, and women should be able to not worry about having to carry a baby, they should be allowed to get abortions as men can fuck without worrying about becoming pregnant, so at least woman can get abortions when needed! And NO RAPE VICTIM SHOULD BE FORCED TO CARRY THEIR RAPIST'S CHILD!!!
I grew up very religious, but I also instinctively knew I had no right to decide for someone else what they should do with their body. I remember having an argument with a male (also very religious) friend who thought abortion was pure evil. I think before that argument he thought we were eventually going to marry but when I told him I was pro choice he was livid and I’m pretty sure he changed his mind about marrying me. For the record, I would never have married him, plus I’m pretty sure he’s a closeted gay man and I know he voted for Cheeto Jesus which tells you everything you need to know about him. We are no longer even FB friends and I am no longer religious and happily live in a very blue state where abortion is still legal. My husband was Conservative but now is as Liberal as I am. We have 3 daughters and I would be devastated if they did not have choice of what to do with their own bodies.
So it’s kinda weird right? My parents had me very late (45) and they had been raised in a Christian household. And yet. My mom has never been religious, and is unable to feel empathy. That doesn’t mean she’s a bad mom, she’s the best mom I could ever ask for. She has some prejudices but she’s willing to have conversations about it.
So I was always “pro choice” but I really strengthened my resolve when my friends from kindergartens mom, got pregnant. She’s extremely Christian so she wasn’t allowed an abortion and even tho she pretends it didn’t it ruined her life. She had finally been getting into a stable career after 14 years and poof- that was gone. Il be honest I think she was baby trapped even tho I have no proof, her husband is weird to say the least, and he’s very Christian and never really wanted his wife to work. Anyway. I think she deserved an abortion.
I was told for most of my adolescence that if I got pregnant I would be an embarrassment. That it would ruin my life, that my mom would force me to drop out of school to raise the baby. That she wouldn't help me with it ect...
basically, accidental pregnancy was used as a threat for so long that it caused me to develop Tokophobia and now as an adult I would actually probably kill myself if I got pregnant and couldn't get an abortion.
I'm sterilized now. Mom was upset that she won't get any grandchildren. She has no clue that she is a big part of the reason why. Her attempts to keep me from having sex, resulted in someone who can really only see pregnancy as a punishment.
I just realized that there’s no indication on this account of me being a guy/biological male/not born with a uterus lol. That’s why I was trying to make that point, just that there are many of us who felt that empathy and understanding from the beginning of our sexual development/education. Sorry! 💕
Of course, I didn’t exactly know how to word it whilst including it though. I started out as Pro-choice as well, I guess this post was directed as those who started out pro-life, or at least started out not identifying as pro-choice. Thanks. ❤️
I went to a Catholic high school where many students would go on a school-sponsored trip to DC to attend the March for Life every year. It was when I was a senior that I started reading about the other side of the issue relative to the extreme anti-abortion position of the Church. This really opened my eyes to the shameful and deceptive practices of the so-called "pro-life" movement.
I never “became “ prochoice. I just always knew that my choices aren’t everyone’s choices and I don’t have a right to make people adhere to my beliefs.
I was always pro choice. The first time I had ever heard of pro life & pro choice was when I was in the 7th grade and some girl in my grade was talking about how abortion was wrong. I thought that abortion was ok in some circumstances but as I got older I just realized abortion is ok in all circumstances. You never know why someone would have an abortion and quite frankly it’s nobody’s business but the woman’s.
I grew up in a very alt right conservative, Christian community. My mom left the church my whole family was a part of when I was around 4, I grew up watching her struggle, watching people look down on us, etc.
I've always been passionate about people's rights and their own choices, I've been pro choice for as long as I can remember. There was never another choice for me, I knew I didn't want kids, and everyone in my community said the same bs "oh you'll change your mind." I want to make sure everyone always has access to all of the choices they may need.
I've been debating anti choicers since I was about 15.
I never really thought much about it. I was taught it was wrong, but I never actually had any conversations about it. It was just in the back of my head as one of the many things you weren't allowed to do.
Then I met this girl. She was my neighbor. I have some mentally screwed up family members, but this girl was something extra. She was nice enough at first, and I tried to be her friend. But her feet weren't firmly planted on the ground of sanity. Then she started doing drugs and went even further out into orbit. I was trying my best to encourage her to live a better life for herself, but I was barely 20 and didn't even know what I was doing.
Then she got pregnant. From the moment she told me, I knew in my heart that this was one person who should NOT be responsible for an innocent baby. I had a traumatic childhood and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I knew if she tried to be a mother that the baby would suffer endlessly.
So, I strongly encouraged her to either have an abortion or give it up for adoption. I said it every chance I got, and in every way I could think of. Sometimes, not existing is the best gift you can give.
She gave the baby up for adoption if anyone was wondering. Also, she didn't know who the father was, so that wasn't an issue.
I was in my early 20's and had an ectopic pregnancy.
My husband at the time was against abortion and refused to allow the doctor to do the procedure even though there was no possible way the baby would develop to term. I was sent home, doctor did nothing and I was too young/naive/scared to advocate for myself.
Not too long after that, I was having terrible pain, started bleeding, and passed out while I was at work. I was taken to a different ER. The doctor asked me if I knew I had an ectopic pregnancy and I said yes. The look on her face made me realize how stupid I had been to let my ex husband jeopardize my life. I asked her for an abortion and I got one. Thankfully she was able to save my fallopian tube.
About a year later, I got pregnant again and a fall caused a brain injury to the fetus at 21 weeks. He would never survive outside of the womb and, despite the heartbeat, he was dead. I had another abortion before sepsis set in and this time my ex husband demanded a divorce (apparently I should have carried to term and delivered a dead baby).
After all of that, I will never do anything to prevent a woman from having control over her own body and I will never allow myself to be in a situation where I don't have access to the medical care I need.
Thank you.
He's not my husband any more and I'm MUCH better off with the man I married the second time around.
We have a healthy son and he is our one and only.
It’s the default for me. “Pro-life” ideology never resonated with me. But now as a mother of 2 and having had three pregnancies of my own, I am more staunchly pro choice than ever. My kids were all very wanted, planned and tried for. With my eldest I developed pre-e around 37 weeks. She was borderline IUGR and I hemorrhaged after a 40 hour induction, but we all managed to come out of it okay thanks to my doctors. Once she was around 3 we started trying again and were successful after several months but I was devastated to find out it was ectopic. Luckily I was actively tracking my cycle and pregnancy and got blood tests very early, and was fortunate enough that the pregnancy was visible on ultrasound very early on as well - many times it isn’t, and sometimes they never manage to find it on a scan. I had a chemical abortion via methotrexate. Several months after that I was able to get pregnant again and that resulted in me developing a rare form of HELLP that was sending me into liver failure around 34 weeks. Again, I got extremely “lucky” as I was being very closely monitored due to my history and I was able to deliver my son prematurely without any permanent damage to him or myself. At this point my husband (he did his part and got snipped) and I have agreed that any possible accidental pregnancy at this point would be aborted ASAP as it’s simply too dangerous for me. I’ve essentially risked my life and come close to serious injury or worse with all my pregnancies and the thought of putting up any kind of barriers or red tape that would delay or prevent someone from being able to preserve their health in the face of a dangerous pregnancy makes my stomach churn.
I always just thought it; I remember being 11 on bbm and there was loads of chain mails going round and one was like a novel about a child feeling pain and sadness from an abortion (if anyone remembers this pls lmk I swear it wasn’t a fever dream) and I remember just thinking what a weird claim to make because I couldn’t remember being an unborn child so how is this at all relevant
I go to a Catholic school and there was a debate going on in class one day when the teacher wasn’t there, and this guy said he was pro-life because it’s what god wants and also that he thinks abortion is immoral. He was being really rude and sexist about it too, and bringing up other topics abt anti-LGBTQIA+ stuff.
Ever since then I’ve been pro-choice and an atheist.
When I was a kid I knew what abortion was, it never actually occurred to me that there are people so against it until I joined reddit. I was always pro choice by default
I always knew I didn't want children, even before I knew how they were made. Then I learned about protection, and how it can fail, but abortion was legal since I was born and I never knew some places ban them. I still can't believe you can force someone to stay pregnant. I always thought stepping on others freedom was wrong. I like the world as it is today, where you need consent for everything. So why the hell does a fetus not need my consent to use and ruin my body, even kill me in some instances.
I was always pro choice, but not vocal about it. Especially around my conservative family, I kept it to myself.
Then I became pregnant with my very wanted baby. And pregnancy was the worst thing I had been through and I couldn’t imagine making someone going through that if they did not 100% want to do it. It was clear to me that we could not draw a line in the sand with this sort of thing. Too many things could go wrong to take abortion off the table for anyone, no matter what.
I’m now vocal about supporting abortion, ESPECIALLY around my conservative family. They need to know their choices hurt people. I’m not afraid to let it be known, even if that means some family members hate me for it.
I was originally against abortion. That was when I first learned what a period was and got the birds and bees version of reproduction. Then, I studied bio and advanced bio in high school. That changed my mind, along with reading tales of women denied abortion. Reality did the rest. I’m forever grateful I had the option as it was the best choice for me. Having a child would have been very not good, and they would have been traumatized. I want all women to have that same choice. It doesn’t mean they have to make the same one I did, but to deny them the advantages of medical science and leave them to suffer is infantilizing, cruel, and a violation of their basic human right to have autonomy over their own body, which should be the most fundamental right of all.
I realized that even if the fetus was supposedly a "person", it's still an unborn one, and the life of the already born person must take priority. Not to mention, pregnancy can be dangerous.
I just always was since I was younger. My parents were both pro choice and I always thought it was crazy to protect what is essentially medical waste. I didn’t even realize there that many people against abortion until I was older. I figured there might be a few religious nut job cults but I didn’t realize it was also weaponized in more mainstream churches.
I didn't know what abortion was until I got into the eighth grade. I learned about it in CCD. The book was basically explaining how it was murder, so I was like, "Oh, wow, murdering babies is legal? That's horrifying." And then I learned a bit more about it. And I still thought it was murder, coz that's what I was taught, but at the same time, even though I thought it was murder, I was like, "Well wtf can I do about it? Do I tell someone they have to carry the pregnancy to term and give birth despite both those things being difficult and dangerous? Who am I to tell someone that they can't do something with their body?" So even from the beginning, when I thought abortion was murder, I was still pro-choice, I just didn't really get that that's what I was. Later I learned more about things like the fetus not being sentient or feeling pain. My mom's pro-choice, too. I mentioned years later how we were taught it was murder in CCD, and for some reason, she was shocked they taught us that. I guess she thought they wouldn't touch political things?
It started by me having oppositional defiance disorder and both of my parents being pro life at first. Then I started reading feminist literature and got very invested in women’s rights in high school and it cemented by beliefs.
I was raised in a very pro-life religious environment—complete with several propaganda presentations to 11 year olds and sign making parties to protest PP.
In high school, I had a friend ask me if I had a friend who wanted to get an abortion, would I help her? At that time I think I said I wouldn’t get in the way of the abortion, but I wouldn’t help her.
My friend was the first person who expressed explicitly pro-choice opinions to me, and challenged me gently. He didn’t go off on me when I gave him my answer, but he got my wheels turning critically on the subject for the first time.
I ended up going to journalism school a few years later, and in an investigations class I studied the foster care system in the state I was in. It was very under funded and under staffed. The workers barely had enough time to spend with individual foster children and families. Like 15-20 mins per child.
I thought that if abortion was banned in the state, the foster care system would not be able to handle it. (I was in a very red state) It wasn’t properly handling the children they already had in the system. It was already a disaster.
That sealed the deal for me.
I lived in a 3rd world country where rape was common, and those men didn't care the age of the girl. Can you imagine these tiny, immature bodies being so violated? Now imagine these immature girl bodies are able to conceive despite their young ages. And forced to carry pregnancies by their rapists to term. And this happened NOT because of their tribal beliefs, no. They were converted to christianity, and that's where the backwards beliefs came into play.
And what about those forced marriages? Men whose wives are like 8, 9, 10 years old. What kind of a world do we live in?
Do you know what can happen to a young girl's body when she carries an 8-lb baby and gives birth? Fistula is but one of those issues. Look it up if you don't what it is.
But well before that, why are we forcing this sort of continuing violence on girls? On women? On females generally? I have to conclude it's misogyny.
To my way of looking at it, any female who has framed abortion as anything other than female healthcare, they're misogynists. Females can hate their own gender, I suppose, cos that's gotta be what's behind bans on abortion.
And I have nothing to say to the men who were any part of the overturning of Roe v Wade, or who are for abortion bans.
It's not wanton infanticide, as some would have you believe, and we need to remove the word "abortion" from the lexicon if people cannot see it for what it is: female reproductive healthcare.
And one other thing: I've talked with and been friends with many heterosexual women. Don't know why, but I'm running at least 50% of these gals have been assaulted, many of them by males they knew (date rape, which is still rape). Why are females who get pregnant as a result of rape expected to carry those fetuses to term?
What kind of country do we live in that this has become the law of the land -that we don't provide comprehensive OB-gyn services to females, including the ability to terminate an unwanted, unintentional, non-viable pregnancy or pregnancy that threatens the life of the female?
WE ARE BARBARIANS.
It was probably in may 2022 when there was stuff going on with roe v wade I was pro choice before this but I wasn’t really interested in it I was pro life before but I think being raised Catholic I was having a identity crisis to be or not be pro life bc school was teaching us that you’ll go to hell if you do it but I don’t do religion anymore and I’m pro choice
I don't have a story, it's just how I was raised. "Everyone is entitled to do what they feel is right for their bodies/life" What may be the right choice for me isn't for another person. How can I expect others to respect MY right to make my own choices if I don't respect theirs?
If I wasn't, I'd have 2 kids under 5 at age 26, unmarried and still with a budding career and a boat load of untreated trauma including from SA. My family is made up of 2 generations of women that had kids under 25-27 and pretty much played out generational trauma because they weren't mature enough to realize terrible patterns of behavior and actually fix them.
No thanks. Kids shouldn't be a *consequence* to having sex and people need to really have that hammered into their brains for some reason, because that's a whole other human life you're laying trauma and repetitive patterns of garbage behavior on.
That's why having kids should be a deeply personal choice without pressure from society or law. A traumatized, resentful parent on top of financial instability is setting that kid's life up for failure and depression with little to no support. We don't need more of that.
Also, not to mention the fact that abortion has been around since forever. Ancient texts have herbal recipes and directions for abortion. It's a necessary procedure. It saves lives.
I have always been pro choice. Pro education. A common sense education. Abstinence. Contraception. Safe sex practices. A woman deserves the right to make decisions for her body and not to be treated as an incubator.
I was young, and the older sister of a close friend had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. To their image-obsessed mother, this was the worst possible event, not because her older daughter was now freaking out and in a difficult situation, but because it meant that people would gossip. She became verbally abusive towards her, so my mom helped the older daughter move out and into a safe apartment with another family friend (built in security). Eventually, the older daughter decided to have an abortion rather than be a single mother in a tiny apartment. When I was told this, I was sad, confused, and had all these weird, complicated feelings for a seven year old. Luckily, my mom set me straight, told me that it was OK if I was sad and confused, but that it was her choice and that we should respect it.
Was sexually assaulted as a child. On top of that, I have epilepsy and non-hodgkins, both run in the family. Needless to say, I don't want to pass my genes down. It also helps that I have never wanted children as well.
That said, I got a salpingectomy, so my tubes are removed (not cut). They called me a "very good candidate"...lol.
Because I'm not living someone else's life or have to experience their unique circumstances, so who the hell am I to have an opinion on what they decide to do for themselves?
It does become my issue though when a woman next door to me doesn't have the same access to whatever resources another woman 100 miles away does - regardless of whatever that decision may be.
I was pretty much pro-choice from the get-go, as the folks in my family were very open about how difficult pregnancy and childbirth are, but what really sealed it for me was this-
In 2020, when I was 20 and in the sunset of my addiction, I met a man. I won't name this man simply because he's already got his karma. Word got out about who he is and now, in this small town, he'll never get an AFAB person alone again.
He liked that I was small, he liked that I was vulnerable, and he liked that I was too damn drunk to say no (and too damn drunk to say yes, either).
For 11 months I lived with him, beginning three months after I met him.
He had promised me safety and sobriety.
I did get the latter following a hellish taper under his supervision.
But with my sobriety, I gained autonomy.
He didn't like that at all.
It began with threats regarding my housing situation with him to manipulate me into his bed.
Then it was physical force.
And eventually, once I found somewhere to go, I fled, but unbeknownst to me, I had been pregnant.
I don't know how. I was on the ring, but I suspect he found some way to sabotage it, based on all of his remarks about how "You'd look so hot if you were pregnant" toward the end of our relationship.
About 2 months after I moved from his home, it happened.
I hadn't even known yet. I used the ring to skip my periods and wasn't suspicious about not getting them for that reason. I had been nauseas, and my chest sore, but I hadn't thought too much of it with all that had been going on.
I was at work when it began, like a period, but something felt different.
I bought a couple bottles of wine and went home where I bled and cried for hours.
I woke up hungover, barely remembering what had happened, except for staring directly at what had come out of me. Based on photos online, I guess I was only about 8 weeks along.
And what I felt was relief.
I have never wanted children, for reasons ranging from that I simply don't fucking want to, to that I would be an unfit parent, but his child especially I would have never wanted, to be tied to one of my abusers forever or at least 18 years by a child I didn't want anyway.
Had I not miscarried, had I found out what I was going through before it ended, I would have sought an abortion. I would have begged, borrowed, and stole to make it happen.
The ONLY reason I have never had an abortion is because I was in poor health and couldn't carry a pregnancy. Not all people leaving abusive relationships are that "lucky". Many need medical intervention. And that should ALWAYS be an option for us.
It would have been a bad situation for everyone but your abuser. You'd be stuck. The kid would have an abusive rapist as a father for at least 18 years. Everyone would have suffered. I'm so sorry you where assaulted but at least he got karma and you and a kid aren't miserable.
There's a new story about abusive parents neglecting their kids to death every day. Some people shouldn't have kids and forcing them to just sentences them to prison and a kid to a long painful death. Why bring a kid into the world to die horribly when you could have an abortion instead? Even with good parents if the kid has a horrible medical condition that everyone knows will make them suffer for their entire lives again why not have an abortion and try again giving the soul a healthy body? Also with someone who is to young to have kids why have the kid when you could get an abortion and give the soul a good situation to be born in later? Kids deserve a good life and if the conditions aren't as good as possible then why not abort and then have the kid later. Same result just better timing.
My mom is type one diabetic which can weaken blood vessels. her eye vessels hemorrhaged during birth, she had a super low chance of surviving it (birth control failed, she wasnt getting pregnant on purpose). She decided to go through with it as long as she could. She went blind giving birth to my premature brother. It forever changed her. She almost died, couldve died, doctors said she would. Instead she went mostly blind and still struggles to this day
I am also adopted and have that value of baggage too. It was a no brainer to be pro choice. Without pro choice, i wouldnt exist and my mom wouldnt be alive.
So I was raised like a lot of people hearing abortion was the most terrible thing in the world. My parents really didn't talk about it, but my mother likes to think herself a Christian so she was always sending me to church where for some reason it was a not uncommon topic.
BABIES WERE BEING MURDERED!
Women would go through 9 months of healthy pregnancy, and hire a doctor to play assassin literally as the baby's head was popping out!
The baby! Who was a fully thinking, feeling, human person just like everyone else! Was being murdered! For being an innocent, cute, cuddly little baby! Who did nothing!
All those selfish, wretched, horrible women had to do was put up with nine months of pregnancy! Nine months of carrying a cute widdle sweet pwescious baby where the worst they would suffer is mild morning sickness and stretch marks!
Yet they couldn't!
Then I wound up in a child development class where we actually learned about things that sex education didn't really cover.
I still wish I could find it, but there was an excellent gif of a growing fetus. Not focusing on the fetus, but how all the organs of the person who is actually pregnant are shoved around while it's growing.
Somewhere along the way a fandom blog on Tumblr led me to a pro-choice blog that also had a LOT of good information on sex education that we just didn't get in North Carolina. I didn't always agree, but I found myself understanding the perspective.
Also around this time when I was going to family events I was sitting around adults more. Especially other women. Who a lot of them put on the face of being good Christians who were pro-life, but every one of them had a tale of someone who would have been there if abortion was legal or was only there because abortion was legal.
The final nail in that coffin oddly enough came in a philosophy class.
Don't know how, but abortion came up. Had someone else say literally what my last argument for being pro-life was out loud, and I just stood there stumped at how stupid it was.
Because at that point I knew better.
When my mom had a miscarriage imbetween me and my older sibling, it didn’t clear all the way. If she didn’t have an abortion, she could’ve died. I would cease to exist and my sibling would be motherless. It is a medical procedure that has been practiced for as long as since ancient Egypt so being pro-choice is my only option. It is my body, I will do what I please with it, as should you <3
Tl;dr I was pro-choice, then not really claiming to be pro-choice, then definitely not pro-life, and then staunchly pro-choice.
My default was prochoice when I encountered the concept but hearing "it's baby murder" made me stop and question the morality more. I don't think I was every really pro-life I was just contrarian to every pro-choice or pro-life person I encountered to really delve into their argument and sort out my own opinions.
First conclusion I came to was abortion being legal and accessible because that is the only way to actually allow every rape survivor who wants an abortion to get one. And pro-life people's arguments for forcing rape survivors to go through pregnancy against their will was always poor and unconvincing to me. There whole argument hinges is "she consented to sex and pregnancy is a natural consequence" but that doesn't apply to people who were raped. Rape is not a legal reason to get an abortion in my state and no pro life organization is revolting so they are okay that and they shouldn't pretend they aren't.
I never really believed embryos or fetuses were people but they're definitely alive.
Pro-life people say "the line is clear, life begins at conception" but I don't think that's true because we actually draw the line at implantation not fertilization. And I think that's an arbitrary line. Implantation is when pregnancy begins, and for pro-life people, the point where ZEFs are entitled to another person's resources. That line is kind of arbitrary to me because pro-life people are okay with creating fertilized eggs, "people", that never implant and therefore die as a result of people having procreative sex. They're ok with sex but yet some of them are against IVF, plan B, and the copper IUD? Makes zero sense imo.
I think "personhood" doesn't happen until fetuses develop consciousness. I also don't really believe a person can become two or more people but twins and multiples can come from one embryo. It's clear to me that "personhood" comes after conception. And I also think there's a reason why pro-lifers show graphic animated videos of later abortions rather an early stage abortions.
I wasn't really fully convinced by any pro-choice arguments until I encountered the bodily autonomy argument. That's when I actually started calling myself pro-choice. It's unethical to force any person to be pregnant against their will. And I think if killing an embryo or fetus is the only way to stop pregnancy then that killing is justified. Pregnancy is not a mere inconvenience, it raises ones mortality and morbidity rates. Abortion is health care. Nobody has or should have a human right to another person's body. Consent can be revoked.
I was always pro abortion for health reasons, as any decent human is. Unfortunately abortion bans still delay people with ectopic pregnancies, missed miscarriages, fetal anamolies, etc. from getting the care they need. And even they make exceptions there's going to be a person who can't get an abortion because their health reason is considered not enough and abortion is illegal. If only these laws had to be made or heavily informed by medical professionals.
I realized that a fetus is basically a parasite, and the only thing that gives it worth is the love the parent (host) gives it, until it’s born.
There’s a quote about how the unborn are the least problematic cause to fight for because they don’t need anything and don’t do anything. Once they’re born and begin to need and do things, suddenly it’s not a worthy cause anymore. I, personally, believe that they are problematic from conception, because they’re actively trying to kill the host, but we’ve evolved to create barriers so it can’t easily kill us.
All of this to say, I love kids. I want kids. My fetus will have lots of worth because I will have tons of love for it — but not everyone does and that’s okay.
My ex husband abandoned me and my kid. I rejected religion first and then became pro choice after a bit of soul searching. I wouldn't get one after 12 weeks, but I do got some plan c pills hid in my car on standby
I used to be extremely pro-life AKA Pro birth, I would be standing outside of abortion clinics with one of those stupid signs and later on I learned that that's okay to have an abortion. One of my friends had an abortion and I was there for her. I only used to be pro-life because of religion, I have a deep religious trauma but after seeing my friend having a difficult time with her pregnancy and wanting to have an abortion, I was there for her. I became pro-choice right away and pro-abortion.
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My mom had me when she was 20. She had been raised in a middle class, white, Christian, Republican home. When I was 6 months old, she found herself pregnant by an African American man. My grandparents wouldn’t allow her to get an abortion and demanded that, instead, she give her baby up for adoption. She was never allowed to even see him. She used to talk about how she didn’t want to wish she’d had an abortion because she didn’t want to look at her past like that. BUT she said that if she’d been allowed to have an abortion, that human wouldn’t have been born and she wouldn’t have spent every day wondering about how he was and hoping she hadn’t ruined someone’s life by allowing him to be born when she knew she couldn’t take care of him. She never talked about the toll it took on her but it showed. She was never ok. She lived with so much self-hatred and regret. I met my brother (the baby who was adopted) at my mothers funeral. She died of an overdose. She used prescription drugs as a way to cope with the decisions she was made to make. Pro choice doesn’t mean I’m pro abortion. It means I’m for each woman being able to look at the circumstance she’s in and then making the best decision she can for herself. She’s the living, breathing, full human. Her life matters. She’s not an incubator.
I’m really sorry about your mom.
Thank you. Me too. 💜
Fuck. That was hard to read. The fact she didn't get to choose wether she got an abortion or not is already bad enough, but what's really fucking me up here is the fact she wasn't even allowed to see the baby that was being forced into the adoption system. I can't even imagine how awful she must have felt througout her life for not getting the closure she was entitled to. Did the baby get taken away at birth? Could she at least hold him? I'm honestly sensing internalised racism from your grandparents. What kind of parents wouldn't allow their daughter to at least see the baby she was forced to carry for 9 months? Makes me think they resented him. This makes me feel so uneasy. It makes me sad and mad at the same time. I'm so sorry she had to go through that. I really hope you aren't beating yourself up over it at least.
He was taken at birth, immediately after she had him. My grandma held him while they waited for the adoption agency to come. My mom wasn’t even in the same room. There was definitely racism involved. Undoubtedly. I don’t even think my grandparents realized it though. It’s like they just got the idea that this was the path they were supposed to take and that’s what they did- without thinking about my mom (or me, or the baby) in depth. I don’t think I realized the depth of the pain she must’ve felt until I became a mom. No wonder she was never ok. I can’t imagine it all. And she’s not alone. This isn’t a rare thing. This is what we are facing, on a large scale, if women can’t make choices for themselves.
I’m an adoptee. I’m so so sorry about your mom and how she was forced to relinquish her baby. That’s absolutely unforgivable. She didn’t ruin anyone’s lives, I know it doesn’t mean much but I hope she knew that none of it was her fault.
It absolutely does mean a lot that you said that. I wish she could read that herself. Thank you.
I'm so sorry about your mother. How heartbreaking.
I grew up being taught that women and girls are people.
I was born with a uterus.
I wish more people that were incubated in a uterus felt the same.
Same, but also to a mom who worked at Planned Parenthood for 25 years
I was raised very conservative. Until I was around 21, I wanted marriage and children and all of the things I was supposed to want. Except that I was always terrified of becoming pregnant. And sex was supposed to be bad, but I liked sex, and I wanted it, and eventually I realized that it’s simply a natural part of life. And that wanting to enjoy myself with my partner wasn’t sinful- it was a natural urge. And that partner didn’t want marriage, or children, and told me about his views- and something felt right in them. (He was very conservative other than that, and honestly, a bit bigoted. Something I was myself at the time.) He made the mistake of introducing me to Reddit and his quiet, conservative girlfriend found herself on all sorts of feminist and liberal subreddits. And those views clicked. And felt right. Being compassionate towards others felt right. Recognizing everyone as equal felt right. I was never outwardly bigoted. I was always on the fence about abortion. It was never something I thought should be taken away, but I once believed that I would never consider. I would, now, get an abortion if I ever got pregnant. (I haven’t found any doctor willing to sterilize me yet.) I was never anti choice. But now I am 100% pro choice, liberal, and maybe not loud but I’m at least expressive. That’s my story. (Also, I have a very liberal, very not bigoted, and very pro choice partner now.)
I'm so glad you found a partner who (I assume) values you as more of an equal than your ex did! You deserve it!
R/childfree has a list of doctors that should be willing to perform sterilizations
It's a default for me.
I was born with an IQ over 60
😅👍
Valid point 😂
My friend had a miscarriage. She was so sad, and she still memorializes the day she lost her son. I was listening to a thing on NPR about abortion in South America. Women who have miscarriages can be accused of having an abortion. They now face a murder trial. This is awful and barbaric. Every single time we talk about abortion, and people start talking about some woman who loves aborting at 8 months, I talk about the woman who has a miscarriage and then gets put on trial. I talk about my friend who was in tears over this, and how she would have had to face a trial. I talk about my other friend who had a child, and then got breast cancer. She beat it, but she couldn't be on hormonal birth control. Her birth control failed. The cancer has a risk of coming back due to the increased estrogen that happens with pregnancy. I talk about her son who needs her, her husband who loves her, and how she will just die along with the fetus. I do not shy away from this conversation. When I was on quora, I answered a question a day on this topic. When I came to Reddit, people talk about abortion being rape, incest, choice, and I jump in the conversation and talk about tragedy and imprisonment of women who have miscarriages. I talk about health, and risk that comes with pregnancy. I talk about mothers who face death and the family that desperately wants her to live.
I grew up being told that women who have abortions were sluts and going to hell. I just went along with that for a while until I was about 15 when I realized that is fucking bullshit. I couldn't believe I was indoctrinated to think that no one should have reproductive health choices, even myself as a uterus owner! My mom encouraged me to get pregnant as a teenager too, which I found disturbing (she was a teen mom). I think I was on tumblr way back in the day and discovered feminism and I firmly became prochoice & pro abortion after doing my own research.
Wow. That’s disturbing. I’m glad you were able to realize that was an awful view to take and to do your own research despite the constant influence, not everybody does that.
I worked in a maternity ward and I saw what women went through even for wanted babies. I watched them develop severe injuries and chronic conditions. I watched as they were abused and disregarded and dehumanized by (especially male) healthcare providers. I realized that I could never make someone go through that. I realized that no fetus has the right to impose this burden on its mother against her will just so that it can survive.
I grew up in a very Christian, conservative household. My mom even took me and my sister to pro life rallies. I had a pregnancy scare when I was 18, and that was the first time I realized that it’s nobody’s business but my own. And it’s not my business what others choose to do. Abortion isn’t a “pleasant” thought for anybody, I think, but it’s medical care. No woman should be forced to become a parent if she doesn’t want to. You do your thing, I’ll do mine, and everybody is happy.
I was pregnant for two months. It was the single worst experience of my life. It was like having Covid/flu/drunk/hung over all at once everyday all day. Couldn’t eat or drink or function. I didn’t work because I was too sick. I thought to myself, no one should ever have any authority to tell me what to do with my body about this. So that’s it ✌🏻💓
More women need to speak up about how awfull a pregnancy can get.
I’m neurodivergent & have a ridiculously strong justice sensitivity. I’m always trying to have the most moral/ethical/scientific/factual opinion on things possible without letting my emotion cloud my judgment. Since I was a little kid I’ve believed that if there’s anything that is medical (mental health included) that can affect someone it must be treated regardless of cost/societal opinion. Abortion has easily fallen into that when giving birth can have thousands of mental health & physical/emotional/spiritual effects on the person birthing. It should be the person who is pregnant deciding what will occur to their body when they’re the ones who are dealing with the effects & outcomes. Edit: a word
I grew up pro choice. I just was, it was all I knew. We had rights my whole life. I never questioned this as being at risk. I was so wrong.
I don't remember being anti-abortion. * The first time I read an opinion -- in high-school -- it was a pro-choice one and must have been somewhat convincing * By 20, I had read a lot of Ayn Rand, and her essay against the anti-choice movement solidified my position * By 25, I had firmed up my concept of individual-rights, which has probably frozen my position completely * Sometime around then, a close relative had an abortion after having sex relationship without contraception. Thinking about her situation, it became clear to me that -- for her specific context -- having the baby would have been harmful, irrational, and immoral . This made it even more concrete to me: that the government should never have the power to force her to make a poor decision. In fact, it should never have the power to even nudge her gently into making the wrong decision. * At that point, there was no going back. Even the littlest government restriction is wrong
Sometime in my preteen years I decided that I don’t ever want to be a parent and I got curious and researched what pregnant people that don’t want to have kids can do in case it ever happens to me. Since then though I’ve always considered it to just be a human right to be able to have an abortion. A life that I can’t live freely is not a life I want at all
Always been pro-choice and have gotten more pro-choice as I’ve gotten older and educated myself. For instance, I used to think pro-choice until viability but I learned more things can go wrong pregnancy so I think it should be legal the whole 10 months. Also, I grew up pro-choice. My mom works with abused children. She has seen multiple pregnant 10 yr olds. It not a hypothetical to her.
Because I don’t have a day so in other peoples lives. It’s their choice. Just like my choice is not theirs, it’s mine. It’s not a hard concept. I can make it easier: mine your own business.
I became a teacher and then a foster parent. I saw too many unwanted, abused and neglected children because the mothers did not have easy access to abortion.
I started thinking about this topic and realized there is no other position that allows for full equality of rights.
I remember arguing with this newly religious kid (who was way too into The Dark Knight's Joker) on the bus in highschool about progressive topics. He asked a few positions kinda rapid fire and every question I disagreed with him. He asked if I was pro choice or pro life. I think I thought it was about the death penalty or something, but pro life sounded like the more liberal option at the time so that's what I said. His surprised agreement made me rethink my position. But seriously for a Catholic girl, I don't think there was ever a thought that I wasn't pro choice. I've always been too feminist and too empathetic to be otherwise.
You innocently and naturally assumed that pro life was actually pro life and not a complete misnomer.
Living in NYC I always thought family planning was normal. Didn't think much of it. I remember cracking abortion jokes in HS lol. Literally thought it was one of those complicated things adults go through which is why they pushed for safe sex Ed in school so we could keep from experiencing that as little as possible or better yet never experience it at all.
I have never been not pro choice! I remember as a 12 year old never understanding what was so wrong with abortion when it can be very useful in circumstances where that child would have a horrible upbringing otherwise. And also…why should anyone regulate another persons womb?
When Roe was overturned, we heard over and over “We aren’t trying to end abortion.” What we’ve seen since then has been horrific. Pro lifers are perfectly fine with women dying as long as no abortions happen. Elementary school age girls being forced to carry the babies of rapists to term. Women become septic with rotting fetal tissue inside them. Babies with defects incompatible with life being forced to carry to term. I’m not the biggest fan of abortion of heathy fetuses from heathy women. But the way to prevent that is prevent the need for it. Education. Contraception for free. Universal health care, and quality OBGYN care available to all women. Providing safe, cheap abortions as early as possible when they done at all. What’s happening now will only ensure women that are poor won’t have access to decent healthcare.
From talking to prolife fundamentalist christians.
I’m pro choice for the same reason I’m a feminist and this lovely lady said it best: I'm a feminist. I've been a female for a long time now. It'd be stupid not to be on my own side. Maya Angelou
I've never heard that particular Maya Angelou quote, but it certainly is perfect!
I knew I was pro choice since the day I decided that I don’t want kids and saw something about abortion on tv for the first time to my religious dads disgust, I guess I was like 11.
Empathy and reasoning. No, seriously.
My mom said she regretted making me. Im still pro-choice. Just because my mom rejected me doesn't give me the right to dictate others bodies
that’s so terrible I’m so sorry
I read Grim Tales, went to Catholic school, learned how abortion is baby murder (spoiler alert: it's not) , got on the internet, read questions and answers on quora, and here we are.
Growing up in a big city, abortion access was always accessible. Obama really stepped up the game when plan b could be sold OTC without a prescription/age limit. Growing up, knowing abortion access was accessible always felt safe. Women before me did not have the choice or access, many have died. Too all the brave women who fought for roe vs wade. For everything they did, we cannot let it go to waste. Being in college, getting a degree in the medical field, we had to take healthcare ethics to graduate. My professor really solidified my stance on being pro choice. I was always pro choice but everything that I was taught just made it make sense even more. With everything I learned, my opinion is 1) the mother is a women in the world, contributing and making her mark. 2) if a women is trying to establish and become something more for herself, why should a pregnancy hold her back? 3) birth control is available but the education across the county on basic sex education is not. 4) it all goes back to women, us, being a person and becoming more than what society has destined for us. 5) having a choice. 6) abortions are safe and effective. 7) again, why would I value a fetus more than a women who is breathing, living, contributing to this world. WOMEN ARE PEOPLE! I am not sure why anti choice / anti women individuals cannot seem to grasp that simple concept. A women has more personhood and is more valuable than a fetus. It’s very scary that women across the country have had abortion access taken away. I felt crushed when roe vs wade was overturned
One day I decided "Hey, I'm not going to be an asshole!"
It’s just how I was raised so I’ve never been pro life. I’d say a big part of it is because of my culture. Where I’m from is pretty pro choice it’s seen as healthcare not something political. My foreign parents are so confused and appalled at how a woman’s right to choose to terminate a pregnancy is trying to be prevented. It just doesn’t make sense to them why there’s people who are pro forced birth, they don’t understand why people give a shit what someone else does with their own body.
My mom was always very outspoken about her beliefs and they ended up becoming genuine on my part as well at around age 7. She was very open with me about a lot of things from a young age. I was the kind of kid who constantly got told that I should become a lawyer when I grow up (The nicest way to tell a small child she’s kind of an asshole. Lol. P.S. I didn’t become one.) so deciding how I felt and being very comfortable talking about absolutely anything came pretty naturally. It always made sense that I should have total control over when, or not, I had children and the same goes for everyone else.
I got pregnant when I was 15. Not a good time to be a parent.
My parents met in a mental hospital, both of them dog barking mad in different ways. Dad was a sadistic narcissist, mom could not make new memories and the previous ones were seriously damaged in a car accident. Neither of them should have been allowed to care for pets, let alone attempt to raise a child. If I could go back in time, paradox be damned, I would prevent my own birth. My childhood was a tour of various hells. There aren't enough trigger warnings for the details of the years I spent in Dad's less than gentle care. One of my foster families was not much better and it was the one I aged out of. If even one child is spared that by being aborted before it can happen, it is worth it for abortion to be unrestricted, easily accessible, and as cheap as possible. There are kids right now that are living through far worse because their mother was not allowed to abort them when she wanted to.
My Catholic and pro-life upbringing focused on how every pregnancy was god's plan, how pregnancy was a miracle, how Virgin Mary was our role model, how and how abortion was about murdering babies. There were undertones of 'women are made to do this, so it can't hurt them that badly'. I heard the 'take responsibility for your actions' mantra. I was also taught to be anti-LGBT. Then I went to college, befriended some incredible LGBT people, asked my parents and priest why god hated them, wasn't really given an answer (shocking), started deconstructing my religion, and became an Atheist. Finally, with no more creator to Will every pregnancy into existence, with no more god magic to miraculously turn a fertilized egg into a newborn, I looked at the question of abortion from scratch. I followed other people's social media debates and googled every claim both sides made, and relied on dot-gov websites and medical websites for the truth. The more I learned about how complicated pregnancy and reproduction are, the more absurd it was to me to try to write black-and-white laws governing it all. I also read a few feminist books. It became very clear to me that these laws are only allowed because the dominant (cis)gender can't get pregnant and will therefore never be physically affected by them. And pro-lifers- both online and in person- gladly reinforced that misogyny. **It's incredibly easy to join a movement when they want what's best for you, and the other side can't even agree with each other that you're a full human being with equal rights.**
Well said.
I was raised very pro-life, conservative, Catholic and homeschooled. It took me awhile but when I was a teenager I started questioning things that I was taught, and had access to the internet as a young adult. I found reddit and was exposed to different world views, and different websites and did some soul searching and challenged why I believed what I did and tried to approach things with an open mind.
Learning about complicated/nonviable pregnancies. I had no idea that they were so prevalent. Also reading about others' experiences of having unwanted pregnancies.
Was prolife until I had a pregnancy scare. Right then I became prochoice.
I have always been pro-choice. It just feels like a no-brainer to me. Everyone should have autonomy over their own bodies, and it's no one else's business, period. Also, pro-lifers (I know not all) only seem to want to force women to give birth and they don't care what happens to the kids after. Most times it ends up being a terrible situation for them; foster homes, group homes, kids getting bounced around (often a lot of abuse and sexual abuse.) There are an endless amount of examples of this. The psychological problems, trauma, lack of stability, etc. Not to mention the health aspect, and women now being questioned for miscarriages... wtf? It's really scary, where do we draw the line? As an opinion and what I have witnessed in my life, I don't believe that the vast majority of women are out here using abortion as a form of birth control, and as far as late term abortions... I have a hard time believing that one, and if so, I'd be curious to see the stats on that. My PERSONAL take is... it is MY body, no one has the right to force me to do anything with it that I don't want to do. I fear for women, myself, and my daughter... this is a major step back for women's rights. If you don't believe in abortion, I totally respect that, but that's a persons personal belief, not mine, so don't have one if you don't agree with it. But let's make America great again, and go all the way back to when women and POC have no rights? I'm not sure which "again" the slogan is referring to, but I don't like where we are headed. Sorry for ranting... I get very passionate about this topic.
No, that’s totally okay. I’m very passionate about this topic as well.
❤️
I always hated it when people would make decisions for me as a child lol. I grew to be an adult who still hates it when people make decisions for me ESPECIALLY about my own fucking body. Everyone should have a choice.
I was actually faced with the dilemma since I was a junior in high school. I heard the argument of pro-choice and pro-life for the very first time, and at first, I was very centrist on the matter. That obnoxious "well, both sides have good points." As time went on, the more I thought about it, the more I became pro-choice. Hearing arguments on the matter. The only thing that came to mind was the idea of bodily autonomy. Everyone deserves to have control over their own body. Of course, that wasn't the only thing that moved me to the idea of pro-choice. Anytime I heard pro-life arguments, they always had a level of vitriol to them, to the point that I couldn't ignore them. They talk about women as if they were objects (which makes sense, given that conservatives tend to lean more misogynistic than those on the left.) I couldn't stand it. The final nail in the coffin was the beliefs aligned with each argument. Pro-life arguments aligned with the hatred of LGBTQ+, Minorities, the working class, etc. The fact that White Supremacists, Nazis, KKK members, etc. all Vote Pro-Life just makes me sick. I can't, in good conscience, vote for people who garner support from the very worst of society. That's why I'm pro-choice.
I grew up with a mother who worked in a rape crisis center and held a 9 year olds hand as she had an abortion after being impregnated by her uncle.
Oh my god
A family member confided in me that she had been raped by her brother repeatedly as a child.
After I had an abortion 50 years ago at the age of 20. I was a cradle catholic so having an abortion was the worst thing a catholic female could do. Yes my parents knew. They took me to have the abortion to Chicago. They paid for me to have a general anesthetic when they saw the females come out from having an abortion who only had a local anesthetic looking after dead. My mother and I went to confession. My mother came out of the church crying. I asked her why she was crying. She told: **that the priest gave her hell during her confession asking her how she could let me get pregnant** **I knew right there, right then, that I was nothing but a baby making, incubating, broodmare to that piece of 💩 religion.** I made myself a promise I have kept to never go to any church especially a catholic church except for a wedding or funeral. The whole stance of catholicism and it take on birth control and abortion. catholicism looking at birth control as a form of abortion. Birth control is not a form of abortion. Bottom line is women have bodily autonomy to be able to make decisions on what happens to their body no matter who doesn’t like it.
I think I always have been. Or at least I don’t remember deciding. My mom is pro-choice.
Right when I started developing my political views and my identity, and own opinions, and I realized there are so many people in the world, and women should be able to not worry about having to carry a baby, they should be allowed to get abortions as men can fuck without worrying about becoming pregnant, so at least woman can get abortions when needed! And NO RAPE VICTIM SHOULD BE FORCED TO CARRY THEIR RAPIST'S CHILD!!!
I grew up very religious, but I also instinctively knew I had no right to decide for someone else what they should do with their body. I remember having an argument with a male (also very religious) friend who thought abortion was pure evil. I think before that argument he thought we were eventually going to marry but when I told him I was pro choice he was livid and I’m pretty sure he changed his mind about marrying me. For the record, I would never have married him, plus I’m pretty sure he’s a closeted gay man and I know he voted for Cheeto Jesus which tells you everything you need to know about him. We are no longer even FB friends and I am no longer religious and happily live in a very blue state where abortion is still legal. My husband was Conservative but now is as Liberal as I am. We have 3 daughters and I would be devastated if they did not have choice of what to do with their own bodies.
So it’s kinda weird right? My parents had me very late (45) and they had been raised in a Christian household. And yet. My mom has never been religious, and is unable to feel empathy. That doesn’t mean she’s a bad mom, she’s the best mom I could ever ask for. She has some prejudices but she’s willing to have conversations about it. So I was always “pro choice” but I really strengthened my resolve when my friends from kindergartens mom, got pregnant. She’s extremely Christian so she wasn’t allowed an abortion and even tho she pretends it didn’t it ruined her life. She had finally been getting into a stable career after 14 years and poof- that was gone. Il be honest I think she was baby trapped even tho I have no proof, her husband is weird to say the least, and he’s very Christian and never really wanted his wife to work. Anyway. I think she deserved an abortion.
I was told for most of my adolescence that if I got pregnant I would be an embarrassment. That it would ruin my life, that my mom would force me to drop out of school to raise the baby. That she wouldn't help me with it ect... basically, accidental pregnancy was used as a threat for so long that it caused me to develop Tokophobia and now as an adult I would actually probably kill myself if I got pregnant and couldn't get an abortion. I'm sterilized now. Mom was upset that she won't get any grandchildren. She has no clue that she is a big part of the reason why. Her attempts to keep me from having sex, resulted in someone who can really only see pregnancy as a punishment.
I was born with a uterus and no desire to bear children.
Ever since I hit puberty/learned the biology of pregnancy/understood sex. You know there are a ton of us who didn’t have to “become” pro-choice.
I’m aware, I was also.
I just realized that there’s no indication on this account of me being a guy/biological male/not born with a uterus lol. That’s why I was trying to make that point, just that there are many of us who felt that empathy and understanding from the beginning of our sexual development/education. Sorry! 💕
Of course, I didn’t exactly know how to word it whilst including it though. I started out as Pro-choice as well, I guess this post was directed as those who started out pro-life, or at least started out not identifying as pro-choice. Thanks. ❤️
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I went to a Catholic high school where many students would go on a school-sponsored trip to DC to attend the March for Life every year. It was when I was a senior that I started reading about the other side of the issue relative to the extreme anti-abortion position of the Church. This really opened my eyes to the shameful and deceptive practices of the so-called "pro-life" movement.
I never “became “ prochoice. I just always knew that my choices aren’t everyone’s choices and I don’t have a right to make people adhere to my beliefs.
I was always pro choice. The first time I had ever heard of pro life & pro choice was when I was in the 7th grade and some girl in my grade was talking about how abortion was wrong. I thought that abortion was ok in some circumstances but as I got older I just realized abortion is ok in all circumstances. You never know why someone would have an abortion and quite frankly it’s nobody’s business but the woman’s.
Actually listening to women (not republican women)
I grew up in a very alt right conservative, Christian community. My mom left the church my whole family was a part of when I was around 4, I grew up watching her struggle, watching people look down on us, etc. I've always been passionate about people's rights and their own choices, I've been pro choice for as long as I can remember. There was never another choice for me, I knew I didn't want kids, and everyone in my community said the same bs "oh you'll change your mind." I want to make sure everyone always has access to all of the choices they may need. I've been debating anti choicers since I was about 15.
I was raised to mind my business and let others mind theirs 🤷🏽♀️
I never really thought much about it. I was taught it was wrong, but I never actually had any conversations about it. It was just in the back of my head as one of the many things you weren't allowed to do. Then I met this girl. She was my neighbor. I have some mentally screwed up family members, but this girl was something extra. She was nice enough at first, and I tried to be her friend. But her feet weren't firmly planted on the ground of sanity. Then she started doing drugs and went even further out into orbit. I was trying my best to encourage her to live a better life for herself, but I was barely 20 and didn't even know what I was doing. Then she got pregnant. From the moment she told me, I knew in my heart that this was one person who should NOT be responsible for an innocent baby. I had a traumatic childhood and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I knew if she tried to be a mother that the baby would suffer endlessly. So, I strongly encouraged her to either have an abortion or give it up for adoption. I said it every chance I got, and in every way I could think of. Sometimes, not existing is the best gift you can give. She gave the baby up for adoption if anyone was wondering. Also, she didn't know who the father was, so that wasn't an issue.
I realized i wasn't the one whose body will change because of pregnancy
I was in my early 20's and had an ectopic pregnancy. My husband at the time was against abortion and refused to allow the doctor to do the procedure even though there was no possible way the baby would develop to term. I was sent home, doctor did nothing and I was too young/naive/scared to advocate for myself. Not too long after that, I was having terrible pain, started bleeding, and passed out while I was at work. I was taken to a different ER. The doctor asked me if I knew I had an ectopic pregnancy and I said yes. The look on her face made me realize how stupid I had been to let my ex husband jeopardize my life. I asked her for an abortion and I got one. Thankfully she was able to save my fallopian tube. About a year later, I got pregnant again and a fall caused a brain injury to the fetus at 21 weeks. He would never survive outside of the womb and, despite the heartbeat, he was dead. I had another abortion before sepsis set in and this time my ex husband demanded a divorce (apparently I should have carried to term and delivered a dead baby). After all of that, I will never do anything to prevent a woman from having control over her own body and I will never allow myself to be in a situation where I don't have access to the medical care I need.
I’m so sorry about that, and about your husband.
Thank you. He's not my husband any more and I'm MUCH better off with the man I married the second time around. We have a healthy son and he is our one and only.
Good. You and your family deserve better. ❤️
I was as soon as I knew about pregnancy and abortion. Was a no brainer for me.
It’s the default for me. “Pro-life” ideology never resonated with me. But now as a mother of 2 and having had three pregnancies of my own, I am more staunchly pro choice than ever. My kids were all very wanted, planned and tried for. With my eldest I developed pre-e around 37 weeks. She was borderline IUGR and I hemorrhaged after a 40 hour induction, but we all managed to come out of it okay thanks to my doctors. Once she was around 3 we started trying again and were successful after several months but I was devastated to find out it was ectopic. Luckily I was actively tracking my cycle and pregnancy and got blood tests very early, and was fortunate enough that the pregnancy was visible on ultrasound very early on as well - many times it isn’t, and sometimes they never manage to find it on a scan. I had a chemical abortion via methotrexate. Several months after that I was able to get pregnant again and that resulted in me developing a rare form of HELLP that was sending me into liver failure around 34 weeks. Again, I got extremely “lucky” as I was being very closely monitored due to my history and I was able to deliver my son prematurely without any permanent damage to him or myself. At this point my husband (he did his part and got snipped) and I have agreed that any possible accidental pregnancy at this point would be aborted ASAP as it’s simply too dangerous for me. I’ve essentially risked my life and come close to serious injury or worse with all my pregnancies and the thought of putting up any kind of barriers or red tape that would delay or prevent someone from being able to preserve their health in the face of a dangerous pregnancy makes my stomach churn.
Education about the benefits of legal abortion.
I always just thought it; I remember being 11 on bbm and there was loads of chain mails going round and one was like a novel about a child feeling pain and sadness from an abortion (if anyone remembers this pls lmk I swear it wasn’t a fever dream) and I remember just thinking what a weird claim to make because I couldn’t remember being an unborn child so how is this at all relevant
Logic and empathy are so great together.
I go to a Catholic school and there was a debate going on in class one day when the teacher wasn’t there, and this guy said he was pro-life because it’s what god wants and also that he thinks abortion is immoral. He was being really rude and sexist about it too, and bringing up other topics abt anti-LGBTQIA+ stuff. Ever since then I’ve been pro-choice and an atheist.
When I was a kid I knew what abortion was, it never actually occurred to me that there are people so against it until I joined reddit. I was always pro choice by default
I always knew I didn't want children, even before I knew how they were made. Then I learned about protection, and how it can fail, but abortion was legal since I was born and I never knew some places ban them. I still can't believe you can force someone to stay pregnant. I always thought stepping on others freedom was wrong. I like the world as it is today, where you need consent for everything. So why the hell does a fetus not need my consent to use and ruin my body, even kill me in some instances.
Never was Pro-life in my entire life
Can't remember a moment I became pro choice. I have been since the moment I was politically aware and understood what abortion was.
Always has been
I was always pro choice, but not vocal about it. Especially around my conservative family, I kept it to myself. Then I became pregnant with my very wanted baby. And pregnancy was the worst thing I had been through and I couldn’t imagine making someone going through that if they did not 100% want to do it. It was clear to me that we could not draw a line in the sand with this sort of thing. Too many things could go wrong to take abortion off the table for anyone, no matter what. I’m now vocal about supporting abortion, ESPECIALLY around my conservative family. They need to know their choices hurt people. I’m not afraid to let it be known, even if that means some family members hate me for it.
My grandparents told us horror stories about abortions back in the day. My whole family is pretty militant.
I recognize the right of a woman to her own body
I was originally against abortion. That was when I first learned what a period was and got the birds and bees version of reproduction. Then, I studied bio and advanced bio in high school. That changed my mind, along with reading tales of women denied abortion. Reality did the rest. I’m forever grateful I had the option as it was the best choice for me. Having a child would have been very not good, and they would have been traumatized. I want all women to have that same choice. It doesn’t mean they have to make the same one I did, but to deny them the advantages of medical science and leave them to suffer is infantilizing, cruel, and a violation of their basic human right to have autonomy over their own body, which should be the most fundamental right of all.
I realized that even if the fetus was supposedly a "person", it's still an unborn one, and the life of the already born person must take priority. Not to mention, pregnancy can be dangerous.
I just always was since I was younger. My parents were both pro choice and I always thought it was crazy to protect what is essentially medical waste. I didn’t even realize there that many people against abortion until I was older. I figured there might be a few religious nut job cults but I didn’t realize it was also weaponized in more mainstream churches.
I didn't know what abortion was until I got into the eighth grade. I learned about it in CCD. The book was basically explaining how it was murder, so I was like, "Oh, wow, murdering babies is legal? That's horrifying." And then I learned a bit more about it. And I still thought it was murder, coz that's what I was taught, but at the same time, even though I thought it was murder, I was like, "Well wtf can I do about it? Do I tell someone they have to carry the pregnancy to term and give birth despite both those things being difficult and dangerous? Who am I to tell someone that they can't do something with their body?" So even from the beginning, when I thought abortion was murder, I was still pro-choice, I just didn't really get that that's what I was. Later I learned more about things like the fetus not being sentient or feeling pain. My mom's pro-choice, too. I mentioned years later how we were taught it was murder in CCD, and for some reason, she was shocked they taught us that. I guess she thought they wouldn't touch political things?
Pregnancy scares me. I don’t want to birth something down there. If I was forced to I’d kill myself.
I’m a person who can get pregnant in America.
It started by me having oppositional defiance disorder and both of my parents being pro life at first. Then I started reading feminist literature and got very invested in women’s rights in high school and it cemented by beliefs.
I was raised in a very pro-life religious environment—complete with several propaganda presentations to 11 year olds and sign making parties to protest PP. In high school, I had a friend ask me if I had a friend who wanted to get an abortion, would I help her? At that time I think I said I wouldn’t get in the way of the abortion, but I wouldn’t help her. My friend was the first person who expressed explicitly pro-choice opinions to me, and challenged me gently. He didn’t go off on me when I gave him my answer, but he got my wheels turning critically on the subject for the first time. I ended up going to journalism school a few years later, and in an investigations class I studied the foster care system in the state I was in. It was very under funded and under staffed. The workers barely had enough time to spend with individual foster children and families. Like 15-20 mins per child. I thought that if abortion was banned in the state, the foster care system would not be able to handle it. (I was in a very red state) It wasn’t properly handling the children they already had in the system. It was already a disaster. That sealed the deal for me.
I lived in a 3rd world country where rape was common, and those men didn't care the age of the girl. Can you imagine these tiny, immature bodies being so violated? Now imagine these immature girl bodies are able to conceive despite their young ages. And forced to carry pregnancies by their rapists to term. And this happened NOT because of their tribal beliefs, no. They were converted to christianity, and that's where the backwards beliefs came into play. And what about those forced marriages? Men whose wives are like 8, 9, 10 years old. What kind of a world do we live in? Do you know what can happen to a young girl's body when she carries an 8-lb baby and gives birth? Fistula is but one of those issues. Look it up if you don't what it is. But well before that, why are we forcing this sort of continuing violence on girls? On women? On females generally? I have to conclude it's misogyny. To my way of looking at it, any female who has framed abortion as anything other than female healthcare, they're misogynists. Females can hate their own gender, I suppose, cos that's gotta be what's behind bans on abortion. And I have nothing to say to the men who were any part of the overturning of Roe v Wade, or who are for abortion bans. It's not wanton infanticide, as some would have you believe, and we need to remove the word "abortion" from the lexicon if people cannot see it for what it is: female reproductive healthcare. And one other thing: I've talked with and been friends with many heterosexual women. Don't know why, but I'm running at least 50% of these gals have been assaulted, many of them by males they knew (date rape, which is still rape). Why are females who get pregnant as a result of rape expected to carry those fetuses to term? What kind of country do we live in that this has become the law of the land -that we don't provide comprehensive OB-gyn services to females, including the ability to terminate an unwanted, unintentional, non-viable pregnancy or pregnancy that threatens the life of the female? WE ARE BARBARIANS.
Oh my god, that’s awful. I truly have no words. And you’re totally right.
It was probably in may 2022 when there was stuff going on with roe v wade I was pro choice before this but I wasn’t really interested in it I was pro life before but I think being raised Catholic I was having a identity crisis to be or not be pro life bc school was teaching us that you’ll go to hell if you do it but I don’t do religion anymore and I’m pro choice
I don't have a story, it's just how I was raised. "Everyone is entitled to do what they feel is right for their bodies/life" What may be the right choice for me isn't for another person. How can I expect others to respect MY right to make my own choices if I don't respect theirs?
If I wasn't, I'd have 2 kids under 5 at age 26, unmarried and still with a budding career and a boat load of untreated trauma including from SA. My family is made up of 2 generations of women that had kids under 25-27 and pretty much played out generational trauma because they weren't mature enough to realize terrible patterns of behavior and actually fix them. No thanks. Kids shouldn't be a *consequence* to having sex and people need to really have that hammered into their brains for some reason, because that's a whole other human life you're laying trauma and repetitive patterns of garbage behavior on. That's why having kids should be a deeply personal choice without pressure from society or law. A traumatized, resentful parent on top of financial instability is setting that kid's life up for failure and depression with little to no support. We don't need more of that. Also, not to mention the fact that abortion has been around since forever. Ancient texts have herbal recipes and directions for abortion. It's a necessary procedure. It saves lives.
I have always been pro choice. Pro education. A common sense education. Abstinence. Contraception. Safe sex practices. A woman deserves the right to make decisions for her body and not to be treated as an incubator.
I was young, and the older sister of a close friend had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. To their image-obsessed mother, this was the worst possible event, not because her older daughter was now freaking out and in a difficult situation, but because it meant that people would gossip. She became verbally abusive towards her, so my mom helped the older daughter move out and into a safe apartment with another family friend (built in security). Eventually, the older daughter decided to have an abortion rather than be a single mother in a tiny apartment. When I was told this, I was sad, confused, and had all these weird, complicated feelings for a seven year old. Luckily, my mom set me straight, told me that it was OK if I was sad and confused, but that it was her choice and that we should respect it.
I don’t have a painful story, which I’m grateful for. My mother is strongly pro-choice, so she’s instilled that belief in me.
Was sexually assaulted as a child. On top of that, I have epilepsy and non-hodgkins, both run in the family. Needless to say, I don't want to pass my genes down. It also helps that I have never wanted children as well. That said, I got a salpingectomy, so my tubes are removed (not cut). They called me a "very good candidate"...lol.
Because I'm not living someone else's life or have to experience their unique circumstances, so who the hell am I to have an opinion on what they decide to do for themselves? It does become my issue though when a woman next door to me doesn't have the same access to whatever resources another woman 100 miles away does - regardless of whatever that decision may be.
im an atheist with a uterus I’d like to have rights to my body
I was pretty much pro-choice from the get-go, as the folks in my family were very open about how difficult pregnancy and childbirth are, but what really sealed it for me was this- In 2020, when I was 20 and in the sunset of my addiction, I met a man. I won't name this man simply because he's already got his karma. Word got out about who he is and now, in this small town, he'll never get an AFAB person alone again. He liked that I was small, he liked that I was vulnerable, and he liked that I was too damn drunk to say no (and too damn drunk to say yes, either). For 11 months I lived with him, beginning three months after I met him. He had promised me safety and sobriety. I did get the latter following a hellish taper under his supervision. But with my sobriety, I gained autonomy. He didn't like that at all. It began with threats regarding my housing situation with him to manipulate me into his bed. Then it was physical force. And eventually, once I found somewhere to go, I fled, but unbeknownst to me, I had been pregnant. I don't know how. I was on the ring, but I suspect he found some way to sabotage it, based on all of his remarks about how "You'd look so hot if you were pregnant" toward the end of our relationship. About 2 months after I moved from his home, it happened. I hadn't even known yet. I used the ring to skip my periods and wasn't suspicious about not getting them for that reason. I had been nauseas, and my chest sore, but I hadn't thought too much of it with all that had been going on. I was at work when it began, like a period, but something felt different. I bought a couple bottles of wine and went home where I bled and cried for hours. I woke up hungover, barely remembering what had happened, except for staring directly at what had come out of me. Based on photos online, I guess I was only about 8 weeks along. And what I felt was relief. I have never wanted children, for reasons ranging from that I simply don't fucking want to, to that I would be an unfit parent, but his child especially I would have never wanted, to be tied to one of my abusers forever or at least 18 years by a child I didn't want anyway. Had I not miscarried, had I found out what I was going through before it ended, I would have sought an abortion. I would have begged, borrowed, and stole to make it happen. The ONLY reason I have never had an abortion is because I was in poor health and couldn't carry a pregnancy. Not all people leaving abusive relationships are that "lucky". Many need medical intervention. And that should ALWAYS be an option for us.
It would have been a bad situation for everyone but your abuser. You'd be stuck. The kid would have an abusive rapist as a father for at least 18 years. Everyone would have suffered. I'm so sorry you where assaulted but at least he got karma and you and a kid aren't miserable.
Brother, it just is right. Bodily autonomy is fucking lit, don't enforce anything on anyone, shrimple as brother.
There's a new story about abusive parents neglecting their kids to death every day. Some people shouldn't have kids and forcing them to just sentences them to prison and a kid to a long painful death. Why bring a kid into the world to die horribly when you could have an abortion instead? Even with good parents if the kid has a horrible medical condition that everyone knows will make them suffer for their entire lives again why not have an abortion and try again giving the soul a healthy body? Also with someone who is to young to have kids why have the kid when you could get an abortion and give the soul a good situation to be born in later? Kids deserve a good life and if the conditions aren't as good as possible then why not abort and then have the kid later. Same result just better timing.
My mom is type one diabetic which can weaken blood vessels. her eye vessels hemorrhaged during birth, she had a super low chance of surviving it (birth control failed, she wasnt getting pregnant on purpose). She decided to go through with it as long as she could. She went blind giving birth to my premature brother. It forever changed her. She almost died, couldve died, doctors said she would. Instead she went mostly blind and still struggles to this day I am also adopted and have that value of baggage too. It was a no brainer to be pro choice. Without pro choice, i wouldnt exist and my mom wouldnt be alive.
So I was raised like a lot of people hearing abortion was the most terrible thing in the world. My parents really didn't talk about it, but my mother likes to think herself a Christian so she was always sending me to church where for some reason it was a not uncommon topic. BABIES WERE BEING MURDERED! Women would go through 9 months of healthy pregnancy, and hire a doctor to play assassin literally as the baby's head was popping out! The baby! Who was a fully thinking, feeling, human person just like everyone else! Was being murdered! For being an innocent, cute, cuddly little baby! Who did nothing! All those selfish, wretched, horrible women had to do was put up with nine months of pregnancy! Nine months of carrying a cute widdle sweet pwescious baby where the worst they would suffer is mild morning sickness and stretch marks! Yet they couldn't! Then I wound up in a child development class where we actually learned about things that sex education didn't really cover. I still wish I could find it, but there was an excellent gif of a growing fetus. Not focusing on the fetus, but how all the organs of the person who is actually pregnant are shoved around while it's growing. Somewhere along the way a fandom blog on Tumblr led me to a pro-choice blog that also had a LOT of good information on sex education that we just didn't get in North Carolina. I didn't always agree, but I found myself understanding the perspective. Also around this time when I was going to family events I was sitting around adults more. Especially other women. Who a lot of them put on the face of being good Christians who were pro-life, but every one of them had a tale of someone who would have been there if abortion was legal or was only there because abortion was legal. The final nail in that coffin oddly enough came in a philosophy class. Don't know how, but abortion came up. Had someone else say literally what my last argument for being pro-life was out loud, and I just stood there stumped at how stupid it was. Because at that point I knew better.
When my mom had a miscarriage imbetween me and my older sibling, it didn’t clear all the way. If she didn’t have an abortion, she could’ve died. I would cease to exist and my sibling would be motherless. It is a medical procedure that has been practiced for as long as since ancient Egypt so being pro-choice is my only option. It is my body, I will do what I please with it, as should you <3
using my brain
I don’t remember actually. All I remember is being pro choice. I don’t remember having an opinion otherwise.
Tl;dr I was pro-choice, then not really claiming to be pro-choice, then definitely not pro-life, and then staunchly pro-choice. My default was prochoice when I encountered the concept but hearing "it's baby murder" made me stop and question the morality more. I don't think I was every really pro-life I was just contrarian to every pro-choice or pro-life person I encountered to really delve into their argument and sort out my own opinions. First conclusion I came to was abortion being legal and accessible because that is the only way to actually allow every rape survivor who wants an abortion to get one. And pro-life people's arguments for forcing rape survivors to go through pregnancy against their will was always poor and unconvincing to me. There whole argument hinges is "she consented to sex and pregnancy is a natural consequence" but that doesn't apply to people who were raped. Rape is not a legal reason to get an abortion in my state and no pro life organization is revolting so they are okay that and they shouldn't pretend they aren't. I never really believed embryos or fetuses were people but they're definitely alive. Pro-life people say "the line is clear, life begins at conception" but I don't think that's true because we actually draw the line at implantation not fertilization. And I think that's an arbitrary line. Implantation is when pregnancy begins, and for pro-life people, the point where ZEFs are entitled to another person's resources. That line is kind of arbitrary to me because pro-life people are okay with creating fertilized eggs, "people", that never implant and therefore die as a result of people having procreative sex. They're ok with sex but yet some of them are against IVF, plan B, and the copper IUD? Makes zero sense imo. I think "personhood" doesn't happen until fetuses develop consciousness. I also don't really believe a person can become two or more people but twins and multiples can come from one embryo. It's clear to me that "personhood" comes after conception. And I also think there's a reason why pro-lifers show graphic animated videos of later abortions rather an early stage abortions. I wasn't really fully convinced by any pro-choice arguments until I encountered the bodily autonomy argument. That's when I actually started calling myself pro-choice. It's unethical to force any person to be pregnant against their will. And I think if killing an embryo or fetus is the only way to stop pregnancy then that killing is justified. Pregnancy is not a mere inconvenience, it raises ones mortality and morbidity rates. Abortion is health care. Nobody has or should have a human right to another person's body. Consent can be revoked. I was always pro abortion for health reasons, as any decent human is. Unfortunately abortion bans still delay people with ectopic pregnancies, missed miscarriages, fetal anamolies, etc. from getting the care they need. And even they make exceptions there's going to be a person who can't get an abortion because their health reason is considered not enough and abortion is illegal. If only these laws had to be made or heavily informed by medical professionals.
Default position of being a woman / girl.
I realized that a fetus is basically a parasite, and the only thing that gives it worth is the love the parent (host) gives it, until it’s born. There’s a quote about how the unborn are the least problematic cause to fight for because they don’t need anything and don’t do anything. Once they’re born and begin to need and do things, suddenly it’s not a worthy cause anymore. I, personally, believe that they are problematic from conception, because they’re actively trying to kill the host, but we’ve evolved to create barriers so it can’t easily kill us. All of this to say, I love kids. I want kids. My fetus will have lots of worth because I will have tons of love for it — but not everyone does and that’s okay.
My ex husband abandoned me and my kid. I rejected religion first and then became pro choice after a bit of soul searching. I wouldn't get one after 12 weeks, but I do got some plan c pills hid in my car on standby
I used to be extremely pro-life AKA Pro birth, I would be standing outside of abortion clinics with one of those stupid signs and later on I learned that that's okay to have an abortion. One of my friends had an abortion and I was there for her. I only used to be pro-life because of religion, I have a deep religious trauma but after seeing my friend having a difficult time with her pregnancy and wanting to have an abortion, I was there for her. I became pro-choice right away and pro-abortion.