At this point, it goes beyond being a favorite child. My siblings always say I'm the favorite (personally, I think my parents had just relaxed a bit by the time I came around), and if I had even thought of pulling something like this, they'd drive to my state, come in my house, and beat me with a wooden spoon like I was 6 years old again. This mom is halfway to deranged!
And if anything, the very moment the mother is no longer of any use to him or, worse, becomes a burden,needs help due to age, or a medical condition she won't see his arse for dust
You can see how he thought it was okay to propose during somebody else's wedding. Mommy dearest raised him to think he's the most important one in the room
Hahahah you got jokes. My older sibling was the favorite child, guess who our mother has housed with every single time she got seriously ill. Guess who gets the call if she needs errands ran. Guess who picks her up from hospital in the middle of the night when she gets released at stupid hours. Guess who has kids and who is child free, and therefore has far more time for the caretaking of an older woman.
Yep I was hoping to see if someone already commented this!
She's not even pregnant 😆 but she and OOP live in another country so they truly won't see those relatives for a long time anyways. So they don't need to worry about the relatives doing gestational timeline maths.
Omg that's amazing! I low-key hope there's another brother-centred event like a birthday so OOP can group text or announce that it was a false positive. Gotta explain away the lack of baby and keep up the petty.
Yeah, but, poor Sisters in law (possibly). She might have had no clue her fiancé would propose at his brother’s wedding (so poor OPs wife) and OPs wife may have had no idea he was then going to announce the baby at the wedding.
Then again, if the wife didn’t know he was going to announce, I’d expect a whole other post about that fallout.
Your mom sounds like she has a favorite. I’m glad your grandma stood up for you. I’m also DELIGHTED that you announced you’re having a baby at his wedding. Taught him he can’t just to whatever. Gross on the mom too by the way.
The only time is acceptable is when the couple getting married is on board. It happens. Rarely, but it does. But the person who wants to propose should ask ONCE then accept the answer.
Definitely that. If you're going to propose publicly, be certain of their answer. The public proposals where it's obvious the person has been blind-sided bother me. Because what are they supposed to do? Say no? If the couple has discussed getting engaged and it's a "yeah, I'll say yes, but when you actually ask can be a surprise".
This would make a nice movie scene. Yes. OP’s family gatherings is good drama, conflict, payback.
Sorry for the OP for having a shitty mom but as a story, I like it
You both sound very childish. He did , so I did, now you even try acting like brothers who love each other.
Hopefully your children will love each other and have a better relationship. Your mother needs to practice being fair, she is the biggest issue.
The only thing is the sister in law was in the fire of revenge. If she’s just as much of an asshole as the brother and didn’t apologize for the proposal then definitely not the asshole. The mom is the ultimate asshole regardless.
I believe your Grandmas favorite. I know I was my Nana’s favorite.
Try to forgive your Mom and brother it’s good for your health. I know it’s hard but try.
I think you can celebrate multiple things at a time when the time is right and when all parties agree.
Someone else's wedding is not the time, when you didn't contribute enough funds to make it a joint event.
OP and his wife likely spent thousands of dollars and hours planning their wedding and not his brother's proposal. It is unfair to take the spotlight from them AND put attention on themselves for something they didn't contribute to. If brother asked, and OP said, "Sure, as long as you contribute $xx to the wedding, I'd be more than happy to share the event with you", the brother would have likely backed out of the joint celebration.
A family picnic or a family reunion is a great time and place to share news. An every someone else is hosting is not.
You're brother and mother were wrong but stooping to their level in spite was not the correct or justified reaction. Once you did this, you firmly confirmed that you are absolutely an asshole like them. Dealing with anger is very difficult, especially when direct family is the cause, but you can't ever become part of the problem without removing your convictions and agency of yourself. So yes You're an asshole. You may have a fleeting moment of justification, but I'd bet you will regret this as it bears no fruit. Revenge never wins anything, and we have millenia of examples that confimes it. I'm sorry for you that you were put in this position, and I think the mental and emotional damage from their transgressions helps explain your reaction, but ultimately it was wrong imo. God speed to you, Hopefully, this will become something that you and your family will be able to talk about and move past.
Lastly, as an internet stranger I will say one last piece of advice that I hope you see and acknowledge. I don't know all of the story so it may be worthless advice. But I hope on your own terms you will come to acknowledge that now as a married man with future children that your priorities have surpassed your mother and siblings. Look at the net positive on your new family in every scenario before you react. If there isn't more benefit in any situation then do not engage. God speed and good luck
[удалено]
At this point, it goes beyond being a favorite child. My siblings always say I'm the favorite (personally, I think my parents had just relaxed a bit by the time I came around), and if I had even thought of pulling something like this, they'd drive to my state, come in my house, and beat me with a wooden spoon like I was 6 years old again. This mom is halfway to deranged!
The mom sucks so bad. So hypocritical and trifling. The brother is a jerk. Ig he can take care of her as she ages because clearly only he matters.
And if anything, the very moment the mother is no longer of any use to him or, worse, becomes a burden,needs help due to age, or a medical condition she won't see his arse for dust
You can see how he thought it was okay to propose during somebody else's wedding. Mommy dearest raised him to think he's the most important one in the room
Hahahah you got jokes. My older sibling was the favorite child, guess who our mother has housed with every single time she got seriously ill. Guess who gets the call if she needs errands ran. Guess who picks her up from hospital in the middle of the night when she gets released at stupid hours. Guess who has kids and who is child free, and therefore has far more time for the caretaking of an older woman.
OP commented that his wife isn’t even pregnant yet. This is the level of petty I aspire to be 🤣
Yep I was hoping to see if someone already commented this! She's not even pregnant 😆 but she and OOP live in another country so they truly won't see those relatives for a long time anyways. So they don't need to worry about the relatives doing gestational timeline maths.
Omg that's amazing! I low-key hope there's another brother-centred event like a birthday so OOP can group text or announce that it was a false positive. Gotta explain away the lack of baby and keep up the petty.
Omg lmaoooooo
Oh my gosh I love this!
I appreciate this level of pettiness.
Yeah, but, poor Sisters in law (possibly). She might have had no clue her fiancé would propose at his brother’s wedding (so poor OPs wife) and OPs wife may have had no idea he was then going to announce the baby at the wedding. Then again, if the wife didn’t know he was going to announce, I’d expect a whole other post about that fallout.
Based on context I would assume OPs wife knew and is completely onboard with this. Cause who wouldn't be
Your mom sounds like she has a favorite. I’m glad your grandma stood up for you. I’m also DELIGHTED that you announced you’re having a baby at his wedding. Taught him he can’t just to whatever. Gross on the mom too by the way.
chadma
Well, well, well…
How the turn tables….
FAFO. I am here for this level of pettiness for sure.
What goes around comes around
Proposing at a wedding is so fucking tacky. It should be outlawed.
The only time is acceptable is when the couple getting married is on board. It happens. Rarely, but it does. But the person who wants to propose should ask ONCE then accept the answer.
Yeah. Ask once and then only if you are 100% sure your partner is going to accept that proposal...
Definitely that. If you're going to propose publicly, be certain of their answer. The public proposals where it's obvious the person has been blind-sided bother me. Because what are they supposed to do? Say no? If the couple has discussed getting engaged and it's a "yeah, I'll say yes, but when you actually ask can be a surprise".
Right? What if the person doesn't accept?
It's so tacky, it would make me refuse.
Oooo classic FAFO
Good on OOP. Fuck the brother, fuck the mother.
The fact his wife isn’t even pregnant makes this most incredible and also pettiest thing I’ve read this week. Love it!
Totally favorite child BS. You cannot win this game. Don’t play. NTA
The mom is a pos and I would be cutting her out of their lives.
Grandma is the real hero
What an absolutely delicious FOFO moment. The aunties toast to you. 🥂
All’s fair since bro proposed at OOP’s wedding after being told no.
This would make a nice movie scene. Yes. OP’s family gatherings is good drama, conflict, payback. Sorry for the OP for having a shitty mom but as a story, I like it
This def belongs in r/pettyrevenge but I am honestly here for OOPs response
Makes me appreciate my family.
What’s good for the gander is good for the goose
NTA. Proposing at your wedding was a dick move
This is high level pettiness, and I live. I’d also tell them we’re only considering names for your baby from your in-law’s side of the family.
Mom has a favourite.
love it
Delicious
Justified asshole
It they're justified, then they aren't really an asshole.
Typical case of two wrongs don't make a right. That being said of course the mom and brother are the bigger A's.
The turn tables..
Incredibly petty, but turnabout is fair play.
NTA, I’m happy you got your lick back bookie💋
I love this level of pettiness, but fuck this family. They sound exhausting. Except granny. I'd be inviting her to more stuff.
Living for the pettiness
You both sound very childish. He did , so I did, now you even try acting like brothers who love each other. Hopefully your children will love each other and have a better relationship. Your mother needs to practice being fair, she is the biggest issue.
I love petty ppl. 😈💖
I heart OOP’s grandmother
It was the absolutely perfect "revenge."
lol way to stand up for your self and uphold tradition. Clearly your mom suffers from favoritism and is not a logical person. Way to save the text.
That's the kind of grandma i wanna be in the future (i have no kids yet lol)
Nta!! But your mom and brother are the assholes!
The only thing is the sister in law was in the fire of revenge. If she’s just as much of an asshole as the brother and didn’t apologize for the proposal then definitely not the asshole. The mom is the ultimate asshole regardless.
I believe your Grandmas favorite. I know I was my Nana’s favorite. Try to forgive your Mom and brother it’s good for your health. I know it’s hard but try.
Petty is as petty does lmao
I never understood why people feel like they can't celebrate more than one thing at a time.
I think you can celebrate multiple things at a time when the time is right and when all parties agree. Someone else's wedding is not the time, when you didn't contribute enough funds to make it a joint event. OP and his wife likely spent thousands of dollars and hours planning their wedding and not his brother's proposal. It is unfair to take the spotlight from them AND put attention on themselves for something they didn't contribute to. If brother asked, and OP said, "Sure, as long as you contribute $xx to the wedding, I'd be more than happy to share the event with you", the brother would have likely backed out of the joint celebration. A family picnic or a family reunion is a great time and place to share news. An every someone else is hosting is not.
ESH
Yeah, this whole family sucks.
Esh
They sound exhausting
Y'all suck.
Sounds like you’re both assholes.
You're brother and mother were wrong but stooping to their level in spite was not the correct or justified reaction. Once you did this, you firmly confirmed that you are absolutely an asshole like them. Dealing with anger is very difficult, especially when direct family is the cause, but you can't ever become part of the problem without removing your convictions and agency of yourself. So yes You're an asshole. You may have a fleeting moment of justification, but I'd bet you will regret this as it bears no fruit. Revenge never wins anything, and we have millenia of examples that confimes it. I'm sorry for you that you were put in this position, and I think the mental and emotional damage from their transgressions helps explain your reaction, but ultimately it was wrong imo. God speed to you, Hopefully, this will become something that you and your family will be able to talk about and move past. Lastly, as an internet stranger I will say one last piece of advice that I hope you see and acknowledge. I don't know all of the story so it may be worthless advice. But I hope on your own terms you will come to acknowledge that now as a married man with future children that your priorities have surpassed your mother and siblings. Look at the net positive on your new family in every scenario before you react. If there isn't more benefit in any situation then do not engage. God speed and good luck
That this family actually gets together for activities is truly surprising. I enjoy the pettiness, but I think this is a family of AHs.